2009 has quickly become the year of "Could,Woulda,Shoulda". So many films that could have been masterpieces were lowered down to the ranks of acceptable "safe" fare. Unfortunately, A Christmas Carol is one of those films.
I am a huge fan of The story 'A Christmas Carol' and when Robert Zemeckis announced that he would be creating a more faithful version I was enticed. Unfortunately, there was one thing that Robert Zemeckis overlooked; a more faithful version would mean a more frightening version as well, thus the target audience would be reduced. Rob was stuck with a hard decision: Does he go all the way with his new version and thus exclude the kiddie demographic, or does he try to please everyone and lighten the mood in some of the scarier scenes? He made the wrong decision, folks.
The mood of the film is refreshingly dark for most of the film, but Rob never really gives us time to enjoy it. Instead, afraid that he will lose his kid part of the audience, Rob constantly throws movie-killing bits of humor into the dark, scary scenes that both throw off the mood and take away from the story. The humor found in A Christmas Carol feels misplaced and contrived. The humor sadly distracts from the overall quality of the film.
Another problem with the film is the 3-D effects. They're dazzling...maybe TOO dazzling. This is both a good thing...and a VERY bad thing. There are moments where the movie will just stop for a few minutes to show off how cool its 3-D is. Yes, the 3-D is pretty damned cool and they really are a sight to behold on the big screen. You feel like you're zooming along with Scrooge on his journey...it's amazing, but by stopping the film to show us this, it detracts from the story and throws off the pacing of the film. The 3-D feels extremely gimmicky and sticks out from the rest of the film...almost to the point where I'd say see it in 2-D instead.
The film's got a great cast of actors in it, but they are never used to their full potential. Gary Oldman plays the parts of Marley and Bob Cratchit, but sadly is never really given a chance to shine. Most of the scenes featuring him are rushed through for some unexplained reason, as are the scenes featuring most of the other supporting actors including Bob Hoskins, who plays the energetic Fezziwig. Hoskins plays Fezziwig brilliantly and reads his two or three lines with great passion, but is just another small blip on the supporting character radar. It's always sad when a film doesn't take full potential of it's many talented actors.
The only actor that the film thinks really counts is Jim Carrey as Scrooge. He also voices and performs the roles of the Ghosts of Past, Present, and Future. Jim Carrey is usually a phenomenal actor that acts his roles out with great enthusiasm, but in the role of Scrooge he seems a bit off. He does a pretty good Scrooge, but was missing something; I think he was confused if he should play the role seriously or humorously. He constantly switches back and forth from serious to humorous back to serious, to the point where the character itself feels off.
One of the things that the film did well that previous films failed to do was to really make you care for Scrooge and his redemption. It has been the only film to really make me realize that Scrooge is having the ultimate bad days of bad days. Scrooge gets pretty beat up in this one, at times it seems a bit much in fact (The flying over the city then proceeding to fall to his almost death, the chase scene with the Future Ghost, and then the grave scene at the end). His jovial dance when he realizes that he is still alive is really a sight to behold: Scrooge is so thin and weak that I began to think all his excitement at being alive would give him a heart attck.
Robert Zemeckis tried to make a faithful adaptation of everyone's favorite Christmas fable, and he almost did. It is more faithful than most other versions we have seen before, and it felt really cool to view new material from the book that we haven't seen before,but unfortunately he cared more about showboating the new 3-D effects and pandering to everyone than he did about the overall quality of the film. Did I enjoy it? I guess I did, but by making the film more family-friendly he really turned away from the film itself.
A Christmas Carol is an uneven mixture of Humor, heart, and darkness that gives the overall film a weird, off-beat feel. Despite most of its flaws it adds up to a pretty enjoyable, albiet uneven, christmas film,
3 Stars/5 Stars
Friday, November 27, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Beetle Joins the ranks of GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra
GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is a fast, action-packed, cheesy , silly romp through a "Not so distant future". In other words, It's nothing special. If watched with the brain in the on position then most will likely be quite angered with the film's stupidity. It's one of those films that's best watched with you're brain turned off. It will drive you crazy if you try to rationalize and make sense of every ridiculous detail in this film...it's almost damned near impossible.
GI: Joe follows the adventures of a special military unit that's job is to save the world from deadly threats...mainly a terrorist organization named Cobra (although Cobra is not officially formed until the very end of the film). Most of the film is spent following GI:Joe as they race around the world trying to gain possession of nanomite filled warheads with the capacity to destroy civilization that have fallen into the wrong hands.
For the first 10 minutes of the film I couldn't figure out where critics had come up with the claims that the film was silly...then the next 5 minutes played and I figured it out. I then promptly switched my brain into off mode and sat back into my couch, enjoying every mind-numbing second of this film...it's almost like a really bad acid trip. It's fantastic to watch, but hurts at times as well.
The main thing that makes the film work is that the film knows what it is. Stephen Sommers wasn't looking to make a serious film...he knew that the script wasn't that great (BAAAAD one-liners) and decided to make lemonade out of lemons and just make a fun film instead, a very wise choice. Not only does Sommers realize what the film is, so do the actors. Instead of acting their hearts out they have fun with the roles and do the best they can with the material they are given. The result is a fun, action-packed if not totally ridiculous and unbelievable film.
And speaking of actors, the only thing that really kept distracting me from the film was the prescence of Marlon Wayans. Yup, they cast THE Marlon Wayans as Ripchord. I don't know what went through their minds when they made that casting descision, but whatever it was it couldn't have been good. It confused me to see him back acting again in a REAL film. He plays kind of a bad-ass, but almost every one of his lines seems funny and out of place, but I geuss thats what you get when you cast a B grade actor.
GI: Joe could have been an utter disaster and a total mess on the big screen. However, if you agree to buy into the ridiculous concepts and turn off your brains then you will most likely enjoy this fun little film.
3 Stars/ 5 stars
GI: Joe follows the adventures of a special military unit that's job is to save the world from deadly threats...mainly a terrorist organization named Cobra (although Cobra is not officially formed until the very end of the film). Most of the film is spent following GI:Joe as they race around the world trying to gain possession of nanomite filled warheads with the capacity to destroy civilization that have fallen into the wrong hands.
For the first 10 minutes of the film I couldn't figure out where critics had come up with the claims that the film was silly...then the next 5 minutes played and I figured it out. I then promptly switched my brain into off mode and sat back into my couch, enjoying every mind-numbing second of this film...it's almost like a really bad acid trip. It's fantastic to watch, but hurts at times as well.
The main thing that makes the film work is that the film knows what it is. Stephen Sommers wasn't looking to make a serious film...he knew that the script wasn't that great (BAAAAD one-liners) and decided to make lemonade out of lemons and just make a fun film instead, a very wise choice. Not only does Sommers realize what the film is, so do the actors. Instead of acting their hearts out they have fun with the roles and do the best they can with the material they are given. The result is a fun, action-packed if not totally ridiculous and unbelievable film.
And speaking of actors, the only thing that really kept distracting me from the film was the prescence of Marlon Wayans. Yup, they cast THE Marlon Wayans as Ripchord. I don't know what went through their minds when they made that casting descision, but whatever it was it couldn't have been good. It confused me to see him back acting again in a REAL film. He plays kind of a bad-ass, but almost every one of his lines seems funny and out of place, but I geuss thats what you get when you cast a B grade actor.
GI: Joe could have been an utter disaster and a total mess on the big screen. However, if you agree to buy into the ridiculous concepts and turn off your brains then you will most likely enjoy this fun little film.
3 Stars/ 5 stars
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Beetle counts down the reasons why The Twilight Series SUCKS
What do we get when we mix teen drama, emo acting, Dark colors, crappy special effects, and a total disregard for the vampire mythology??
We get TWILIGHT.
I'm well aware that this review will probably get me in quite a bit of hot water with all the rabid fan girls...but i honestly couldn't care less about what they think. Their the retards that are making this stupid, shitty series (Both book and movie) lots of money. Their opinion doesn't matter.
We all know the general story by now. Regular city girl moves to small "middle of nowhere" town and meets wierd emo troubled boy that ends up being a vampire. They fall in love, BLAH BLAH FRIGGITY BLAH.
With that out of the way lets delve into all the problems with the film AND the books. By the time I'm done with this review Twilight and its fans will never be the same again.
1.The Story
The story doesn't make sense. In what world would a chick get turned on by a creepy emo kid stalking her?? In the real world the kid would get a face full of mace. (There's one scene I wouldn't mind seeing in Twilight. Edward reacting to Bella emptying a can of mace in his face. He'd probably scream like a little bitch.) There's SOOO many things wrong with the story. Like Why Bella, obvioulsly a DUMB BITCh, when being repeatedly WARNED by Edward, would go try and save her mother, thus walking into what was a painfully obvious trap. Edward should not have fuckin wasted a second on saving that dumb bitch. OH, and that brings me yet to another scene that really stands out as PROOF that Twilight's story is BULLSHIT. The fake orgasm scene.
You heard me right, there is such a scene. Bella is bitten by one of the bad vamps and begins to moan,scream, and shake for all of us. It sounds and LOOKs like she's having an orgasm right there on the screen. HOW THE HELL WOULD THAT SCENE GET APPROVED BY ANYONE?? HOW DID ANYBODY NOT CATCH THAT?? It ends up being the only enjoyable part of the film because of just how ridiculous and laughable it is. Yes, you heard me correctly. I just said that Twilight is one of the films where you can't help but point and laugh at how stupid it is. Another good example of this: The sun scene...but we'll get to that later.
2. The FUCKIN Vamps.
So let's get one thing straight right now. Vampires CANNOT survive in Sunlight. If there's one thing that I cannot STAND ABOUT THAT STUPID BRAINLESS FUCKING BOOK AND FILM IT"S that They TOTTALY disregard everything that Vampire Mythology has set down in stone. Stephanie Meyers (The Dumb BITCH) basically gives the finger to Vampire Mythology and goes about re-writing The Vampire Mythology in her own retarded vision. In HER version of Vampire Mythology, Vampires sparkle like Fairies in the sun (No, not The Tinkerbell fairy), they can run super-fast, and One can read thoughts and see into the future. (Since when did Vampires get fucking super-powers???)
There's a scene where Edward steps out into sunlight and takes off his shirt...guess what!!! he glitters...no really, This shit is so ridiculous I can't make it up. It litterally writes itself. This is the main scene where I really lose all sense of self control. FUCKING VAMPIRES CANNOT SURVIVE IN SUNLIGHT!!!!!!!!! If retarded ass Edward ever did do that he'd wind up in a million tiny little Edward pieces. Not only does he glitter in the sun (via some shitty special effects no less, we'll get to that later though) but he can also run superfast while Bella rides Piggy-back (BULLSHIT LEVEL RISING), read peoples thoughts (DANGER: MAXIMUM BULLSHIT LEVELS REACHED), And his sister can SEE INTO THE FUTURE (MAXIMUM BULSHIT LEVELS EXCEEDED...DANGER...DANGER!!) So...basically Meyers Vampires and her mythology is a ridiculous, unbelievable and downright unrealistic view of Vampires and the powers they possess.
3. BELLA
Bella starts out as an almost normal girl (even though smart readers can instantly figure out that she's just your run of the mill dumb bitch...this is later fully proven in New Moon). She's obsessive over Edward and has absolutely NO COMMON SENSE. She would blindly follow Edward off a cliff...or a bridge, or a plane with no parachute...you get the picture. She puts ridiculous amounts of faith and trust in Edward just because he "Loves" her. For Most of Twilight she can be found, arms wrapped around Edwards ankles, begging him to turn her into a vampire. As retarded as Edward is, he is at least smnarter than Bella: He continually refuses. THEN, in New Moon when Edward finally leaves the dumb bitch Bella becomes suicidal and absolutely loses her frickin mind!! She starts hearing Edwards voice in her mind, and desperate to continue hearing his voice she does a bunch of stupid shit...like jumping off a cliff into Icy cold water. As I said...SUICIDAL.
As if this weren't bad enough there's another boy, Jacob, that she could easily start dating, but in denial that Edward really is gone (She keeps insisting that he'll come back because "HE LOVES HER"...dumb bitch). So even though Jacob and Bella do get along greatly she refuses to give him a chance because GOD FORBID she betray Edward that way. In fact, It's already been made clear that Edward would be fine with her seeing someone else..since, afterall...HE'S NEVER COMING BACK. God this series is stupid.
But anyways, Edward ends up becoming suicidal as well ( he was spying on her with his mind...yet another retarded super-power he has) having seen her (with his mind) jumping off the cliff. Feeling like it's kind of is his fault he bounces off to piss off some other vampires who will kill him. After a period of zero suspense Bella intervenes and saves Edward and they all live Happily ever after. and that's New Moon. At least Twilight the characters had some sense of reason and intellect. New Moon throws all that out the window. After New Moon I've vowed to never pick up another Twilight book again.
Back to the movie now...sorry, about the sidetrack.
4. The Special effects
Despite what the fans will say the speciel effects flatout sucked. The glitter in the sun was painful to watch, Edward runs in a blur (A poorly done blur), I could go on and on but don't want to waste anymore time...lets get to the last and FINAL reason why TWILIGHT SUCKS
5. The power it holds over it's fans (I'm talking to you, all you retarded emo fan girls)
Ever since Twilight came out more and more people have fallen victim to its power. I was one of those people originally. I first read Twilight in 9th grade and thought it was a good book, but eventually I was able to break free from its evil spell and see it for what it truelyis...a piece of shit. That's right TWILIGHT IS SHIT!!! For single guys ( like myself) finding a girl is much harder now. Most girls are obsessive over Twilight and their Precious Edward Cullen (I've read stories about how some will commit random acts of violence against people who don't see things their way). I've run into several rabid fangirls in my day, and the look they give me when I openly tell them that Twilight sucks is both scary and hilarious. Most girls see Edward Cullen as their true love and foolishly wait for him like Bella. HE'S NOT COMING!!! HE'S A FUCKING 3RD RATE CHARCTER IN A SHITTY BOOK. HE'S NOT REAL. GO DATE A REAL GUY FOR CHRISTS SAKE YOU BUNCH OF DUMB BITCHES. HOLY SHIT. This is why I say your opinion does not matter nor count nor is worth anything of value.
I believe that all copies of Twilight and it's proceeding books and movies should be burned along with Stephanie Meyers. The power they have over the fans and the quality of the movies and the books is disgusting. If I could put a lamia on one person and watch them get dragged to hell,it would be Spehanie Meyers. YOU'RE NOT A GOOD WRITER...YOU SUCK...GET A REAL FUCKING JOB AND STOPWRITING THOSE GOD AWFUL BOOKS!! And whoever thought that Twilight would make a good movie Franchise is just as bad as she is.
Oh yeah...and a closing comment...one I would be unable to forgive myself if I forgot to put it in here. Edward Cullen is a pussy. ALame Excuse for a Vampire...a wimp. I think that a better ending to Twilight would be if he was saving Bella as a meal for himself and at the end killed her and sucked her blood. Now that's the way TWilight SHOULD have ended.
There are millions of reasons why The Twilight Series sucks. I've only listed a few. I wrote this as a warning to aeveryone out there...STOP READING THE BOOKS AND SEING THE FILMS!!!
So my final rating for The Twilight film and the series itself is a very strong .5 stars (Half a Star). It's a FUCK YOU!! Oh, and PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BUY TICKETS TO NEW MOON. IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF MEN TAKING OFF THEIR SHIRTS. CAN YOU SAY SOFTCORE PORN FOR GIRLS?? UGH.
If you don't believe me that Twilight is the worst of the worst...here's a few second opinions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvyrG1e3D5I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezguwvsN5A0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF5CViJQDpA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y60Mj-A67WY&feature=related
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43130
http://my.spill.com/profiles/blogs/new-moon-audio-review
If you want anymore second opinions just look up Twilight Sucks on Youtube...you'll find lots more.
We get TWILIGHT.
I'm well aware that this review will probably get me in quite a bit of hot water with all the rabid fan girls...but i honestly couldn't care less about what they think. Their the retards that are making this stupid, shitty series (Both book and movie) lots of money. Their opinion doesn't matter.
We all know the general story by now. Regular city girl moves to small "middle of nowhere" town and meets wierd emo troubled boy that ends up being a vampire. They fall in love, BLAH BLAH FRIGGITY BLAH.
With that out of the way lets delve into all the problems with the film AND the books. By the time I'm done with this review Twilight and its fans will never be the same again.
1.The Story
The story doesn't make sense. In what world would a chick get turned on by a creepy emo kid stalking her?? In the real world the kid would get a face full of mace. (There's one scene I wouldn't mind seeing in Twilight. Edward reacting to Bella emptying a can of mace in his face. He'd probably scream like a little bitch.) There's SOOO many things wrong with the story. Like Why Bella, obvioulsly a DUMB BITCh, when being repeatedly WARNED by Edward, would go try and save her mother, thus walking into what was a painfully obvious trap. Edward should not have fuckin wasted a second on saving that dumb bitch. OH, and that brings me yet to another scene that really stands out as PROOF that Twilight's story is BULLSHIT. The fake orgasm scene.
You heard me right, there is such a scene. Bella is bitten by one of the bad vamps and begins to moan,scream, and shake for all of us. It sounds and LOOKs like she's having an orgasm right there on the screen. HOW THE HELL WOULD THAT SCENE GET APPROVED BY ANYONE?? HOW DID ANYBODY NOT CATCH THAT?? It ends up being the only enjoyable part of the film because of just how ridiculous and laughable it is. Yes, you heard me correctly. I just said that Twilight is one of the films where you can't help but point and laugh at how stupid it is. Another good example of this: The sun scene...but we'll get to that later.
2. The FUCKIN Vamps.
So let's get one thing straight right now. Vampires CANNOT survive in Sunlight. If there's one thing that I cannot STAND ABOUT THAT STUPID BRAINLESS FUCKING BOOK AND FILM IT"S that They TOTTALY disregard everything that Vampire Mythology has set down in stone. Stephanie Meyers (The Dumb BITCH) basically gives the finger to Vampire Mythology and goes about re-writing The Vampire Mythology in her own retarded vision. In HER version of Vampire Mythology, Vampires sparkle like Fairies in the sun (No, not The Tinkerbell fairy), they can run super-fast, and One can read thoughts and see into the future. (Since when did Vampires get fucking super-powers???)
There's a scene where Edward steps out into sunlight and takes off his shirt...guess what!!! he glitters...no really, This shit is so ridiculous I can't make it up. It litterally writes itself. This is the main scene where I really lose all sense of self control. FUCKING VAMPIRES CANNOT SURVIVE IN SUNLIGHT!!!!!!!!! If retarded ass Edward ever did do that he'd wind up in a million tiny little Edward pieces. Not only does he glitter in the sun (via some shitty special effects no less, we'll get to that later though) but he can also run superfast while Bella rides Piggy-back (BULLSHIT LEVEL RISING), read peoples thoughts (DANGER: MAXIMUM BULLSHIT LEVELS REACHED), And his sister can SEE INTO THE FUTURE (MAXIMUM BULSHIT LEVELS EXCEEDED...DANGER...DANGER!!) So...basically Meyers Vampires and her mythology is a ridiculous, unbelievable and downright unrealistic view of Vampires and the powers they possess.
3. BELLA
Bella starts out as an almost normal girl (even though smart readers can instantly figure out that she's just your run of the mill dumb bitch...this is later fully proven in New Moon). She's obsessive over Edward and has absolutely NO COMMON SENSE. She would blindly follow Edward off a cliff...or a bridge, or a plane with no parachute...you get the picture. She puts ridiculous amounts of faith and trust in Edward just because he "Loves" her. For Most of Twilight she can be found, arms wrapped around Edwards ankles, begging him to turn her into a vampire. As retarded as Edward is, he is at least smnarter than Bella: He continually refuses. THEN, in New Moon when Edward finally leaves the dumb bitch Bella becomes suicidal and absolutely loses her frickin mind!! She starts hearing Edwards voice in her mind, and desperate to continue hearing his voice she does a bunch of stupid shit...like jumping off a cliff into Icy cold water. As I said...SUICIDAL.
As if this weren't bad enough there's another boy, Jacob, that she could easily start dating, but in denial that Edward really is gone (She keeps insisting that he'll come back because "HE LOVES HER"...dumb bitch). So even though Jacob and Bella do get along greatly she refuses to give him a chance because GOD FORBID she betray Edward that way. In fact, It's already been made clear that Edward would be fine with her seeing someone else..since, afterall...HE'S NEVER COMING BACK. God this series is stupid.
But anyways, Edward ends up becoming suicidal as well ( he was spying on her with his mind...yet another retarded super-power he has) having seen her (with his mind) jumping off the cliff. Feeling like it's kind of is his fault he bounces off to piss off some other vampires who will kill him. After a period of zero suspense Bella intervenes and saves Edward and they all live Happily ever after. and that's New Moon. At least Twilight the characters had some sense of reason and intellect. New Moon throws all that out the window. After New Moon I've vowed to never pick up another Twilight book again.
Back to the movie now...sorry, about the sidetrack.
4. The Special effects
Despite what the fans will say the speciel effects flatout sucked. The glitter in the sun was painful to watch, Edward runs in a blur (A poorly done blur), I could go on and on but don't want to waste anymore time...lets get to the last and FINAL reason why TWILIGHT SUCKS
5. The power it holds over it's fans (I'm talking to you, all you retarded emo fan girls)
Ever since Twilight came out more and more people have fallen victim to its power. I was one of those people originally. I first read Twilight in 9th grade and thought it was a good book, but eventually I was able to break free from its evil spell and see it for what it truelyis...a piece of shit. That's right TWILIGHT IS SHIT!!! For single guys ( like myself) finding a girl is much harder now. Most girls are obsessive over Twilight and their Precious Edward Cullen (I've read stories about how some will commit random acts of violence against people who don't see things their way). I've run into several rabid fangirls in my day, and the look they give me when I openly tell them that Twilight sucks is both scary and hilarious. Most girls see Edward Cullen as their true love and foolishly wait for him like Bella. HE'S NOT COMING!!! HE'S A FUCKING 3RD RATE CHARCTER IN A SHITTY BOOK. HE'S NOT REAL. GO DATE A REAL GUY FOR CHRISTS SAKE YOU BUNCH OF DUMB BITCHES. HOLY SHIT. This is why I say your opinion does not matter nor count nor is worth anything of value.
I believe that all copies of Twilight and it's proceeding books and movies should be burned along with Stephanie Meyers. The power they have over the fans and the quality of the movies and the books is disgusting. If I could put a lamia on one person and watch them get dragged to hell,it would be Spehanie Meyers. YOU'RE NOT A GOOD WRITER...YOU SUCK...GET A REAL FUCKING JOB AND STOPWRITING THOSE GOD AWFUL BOOKS!! And whoever thought that Twilight would make a good movie Franchise is just as bad as she is.
Oh yeah...and a closing comment...one I would be unable to forgive myself if I forgot to put it in here. Edward Cullen is a pussy. ALame Excuse for a Vampire...a wimp. I think that a better ending to Twilight would be if he was saving Bella as a meal for himself and at the end killed her and sucked her blood. Now that's the way TWilight SHOULD have ended.
There are millions of reasons why The Twilight Series sucks. I've only listed a few. I wrote this as a warning to aeveryone out there...STOP READING THE BOOKS AND SEING THE FILMS!!!
So my final rating for The Twilight film and the series itself is a very strong .5 stars (Half a Star). It's a FUCK YOU!! Oh, and PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT BUY TICKETS TO NEW MOON. IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF MEN TAKING OFF THEIR SHIRTS. CAN YOU SAY SOFTCORE PORN FOR GIRLS?? UGH.
If you don't believe me that Twilight is the worst of the worst...here's a few second opinions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvyrG1e3D5I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezguwvsN5A0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF5CViJQDpA&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y60Mj-A67WY&feature=related
http://www.aintitcool.com/node/43130
http://my.spill.com/profiles/blogs/new-moon-audio-review
If you want anymore second opinions just look up Twilight Sucks on Youtube...you'll find lots more.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Beetle looks forward to Left 4 Dead 2!!
I've been in a funny mood lately readers. I really can't explain or describe it. I just, for some strange reason, have had an undeniable urge to run outside and slaughter a horde of flesh-chewing zombies. Well, luckily for me Left 4 Dead 2 has JUST BEEN RELEASED!!! What a crazy random happenstance!!
For weeks I've been following the progress of this game. Every time one of its TV ads comes on the screen my pulse races faster as my adrenaline rises to abnormal levels. I am super psyched and ready to FINALLY bash some un-dead brains in!!
For those unaquainted with the Left 4 Dead games their basically about a small group of survivors that have to fight their way thru a post-apocalyptic world using whatever weapons they can find (Shotguns, Machine guns, Sniper Rifles, possibly UZIs, Frying Pans, Baseball Bats, and Chainsaws among other endless possiblilities).
The game was released on 11/17/09 and I am currently saving up money to buy it and then sample it (Once I have purchased it you can expect my review of it up a few weeks later).
Till then I'm going to leave you with several ads and a review for you to feast your eyes on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSfsMJgypdw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_8hJsgZSNA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt2rGmUmm2A
http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/action/left4dead2/review.html?tag=tabs;reviews
BRING IT ON ZOMBIE SCUM....I'M READY!!!!!!
For weeks I've been following the progress of this game. Every time one of its TV ads comes on the screen my pulse races faster as my adrenaline rises to abnormal levels. I am super psyched and ready to FINALLY bash some un-dead brains in!!
For those unaquainted with the Left 4 Dead games their basically about a small group of survivors that have to fight their way thru a post-apocalyptic world using whatever weapons they can find (Shotguns, Machine guns, Sniper Rifles, possibly UZIs, Frying Pans, Baseball Bats, and Chainsaws among other endless possiblilities).
The game was released on 11/17/09 and I am currently saving up money to buy it and then sample it (Once I have purchased it you can expect my review of it up a few weeks later).
Till then I'm going to leave you with several ads and a review for you to feast your eyes on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSfsMJgypdw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_8hJsgZSNA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt2rGmUmm2A
http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/action/left4dead2/review.html?tag=tabs;reviews
BRING IT ON ZOMBIE SCUM....I'M READY!!!!!!
Beetle's Bug Juice: Salt, Prince of Persia,District 9, and Terminator Salvation
Hey there Beetle-heads!!!
It's your Ghost Host with the Most Most here. A few days ago I saw 2012, before the film I had the pleasure of watching 2 new trailers which really piqued my interest. Today, for the first time ever, I'm going to review trailers (Yea, it's kind of sad...I know)
First Up: SALT
SALT is about CIA Official Evelyn Salt and what occurs when she is accused of being a russian spy sent to kill the president.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfV5CTyVkwI
The trailer looks pretty awesome. Lots of action and chase sequences. The ending is really great and poses a question to the viewer: "Is she or isn't she a spy?" Overall SALt looks like it's shaping up to be a really interesting thriller.
Beetle's Excitement Level: 8 out of 10. Pretty Psyched
Next: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Prince of Persia is based on the hit video game series. Plot looks pretty complex and fun...involves a dagger, that when opened has the ability to turn back time. It's up to a young man to retrieve and protect this dagger that others would use for their own ill will.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8EA7EbFX4k
The trailer looks frickin epic and reminds me of the Pirates Of the Carribbean Series. Got tons of action scenes and introduces the plot quite nicely. I think it has potential to be kind of the NEW Indiana Jones.
Beetle Excitement Level: 10 out of 10. I can't WAit!!
Now for some good news. I have been doing some digging online and have found out the DVD release date of District 9. It is to be released on DVD December 22. There will be a 2 disc edition that I will most likely snatch up immeadietly. Included on the DVD is a ton of special features includng a 3 part documentary, deleted scenes, 4 special featurettes (found only on 2 disc edition),and a digital copy of the film for the Ipod/touch/phone.
for the whole story here's a link: http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/news/district-9-on-blu-ray-and-dvd-december-22-neilm.php
Don't know about you guys but I thought that D-9 was a GREAT film and I can't wait for the DVD release.
Another piece of good news is that I just found out the DVD release date for the newest addition to the Terminator Franchise: TERMINATOR SALVATION (DA-DA-DA-DA-DA).
It's currently slated for a December 1st release date on a single disc DVD and 2 disc Blu-Ray.
The single disc will only feature the theatrical version and one special feature on the Moto-Terminators. The 2 disc blu-ray, however, will have the theatrical version of the film AND the Directors Cut (YAY!!!). The special features on the Blu-ray include the moto-terminators one and an extra that is called re-forging the future. The Blu-ray will also include a Resist or be Terminated (The viral for the film that I closely followed before its release date...it was one of the funnest virals I've participated in. I got to join the freaking resistance!!!)video archive, the Terminator Salvation official movie prequel digital comic #1, AND a WB Maximum Movie Mode hosted by Director McG.
For the full story follow the link: http://www.examiner.com/x-9502-Salt-Lake-City-DVD-Examiner~y2009m9d10-Terminator-Salvation-DVDBluray-details-and-release-date
I was one of the few that enjoyed Terminator Salvation. I actually thought that it was a worthy addition to the Terminator Franchise (Much better than that stupid T3 shit...ugh). So I'm pretty psyched for the blu-ray release. LET IT BEGIN!!!
Till then I'm Beetlejuice and you've just been bugged.
It's your Ghost Host with the Most Most here. A few days ago I saw 2012, before the film I had the pleasure of watching 2 new trailers which really piqued my interest. Today, for the first time ever, I'm going to review trailers (Yea, it's kind of sad...I know)
First Up: SALT
SALT is about CIA Official Evelyn Salt and what occurs when she is accused of being a russian spy sent to kill the president.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfV5CTyVkwI
The trailer looks pretty awesome. Lots of action and chase sequences. The ending is really great and poses a question to the viewer: "Is she or isn't she a spy?" Overall SALt looks like it's shaping up to be a really interesting thriller.
Beetle's Excitement Level: 8 out of 10. Pretty Psyched
Next: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Prince of Persia is based on the hit video game series. Plot looks pretty complex and fun...involves a dagger, that when opened has the ability to turn back time. It's up to a young man to retrieve and protect this dagger that others would use for their own ill will.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8EA7EbFX4k
The trailer looks frickin epic and reminds me of the Pirates Of the Carribbean Series. Got tons of action scenes and introduces the plot quite nicely. I think it has potential to be kind of the NEW Indiana Jones.
Beetle Excitement Level: 10 out of 10. I can't WAit!!
Now for some good news. I have been doing some digging online and have found out the DVD release date of District 9. It is to be released on DVD December 22. There will be a 2 disc edition that I will most likely snatch up immeadietly. Included on the DVD is a ton of special features includng a 3 part documentary, deleted scenes, 4 special featurettes (found only on 2 disc edition),and a digital copy of the film for the Ipod/touch/phone.
for the whole story here's a link: http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/news/district-9-on-blu-ray-and-dvd-december-22-neilm.php
Don't know about you guys but I thought that D-9 was a GREAT film and I can't wait for the DVD release.
Another piece of good news is that I just found out the DVD release date for the newest addition to the Terminator Franchise: TERMINATOR SALVATION (DA-DA-DA-DA-DA).
It's currently slated for a December 1st release date on a single disc DVD and 2 disc Blu-Ray.
The single disc will only feature the theatrical version and one special feature on the Moto-Terminators. The 2 disc blu-ray, however, will have the theatrical version of the film AND the Directors Cut (YAY!!!). The special features on the Blu-ray include the moto-terminators one and an extra that is called re-forging the future. The Blu-ray will also include a Resist or be Terminated (The viral for the film that I closely followed before its release date...it was one of the funnest virals I've participated in. I got to join the freaking resistance!!!)video archive, the Terminator Salvation official movie prequel digital comic #1, AND a WB Maximum Movie Mode hosted by Director McG.
For the full story follow the link: http://www.examiner.com/x-9502-Salt-Lake-City-DVD-Examiner~y2009m9d10-Terminator-Salvation-DVDBluray-details-and-release-date
I was one of the few that enjoyed Terminator Salvation. I actually thought that it was a worthy addition to the Terminator Franchise (Much better than that stupid T3 shit...ugh). So I'm pretty psyched for the blu-ray release. LET IT BEGIN!!!
Till then I'm Beetlejuice and you've just been bugged.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Beetle witnesses the end of the World in 2012
Let there be no question in anyone's mind: Roland Emmerich is the King of Epic Films. 2012 does an amzing job of taking something we already knew and solidifying that.
In 2012 Massive waves, Volcanic eruptions of an amzing magnitude, fiery flying bits of debris, earthquakes, toppling buildings, crashing trains, and other amazing sights totally encompass our field of vision fully and epicly. There is nothing I have ever seen that measures up to these sights of tragic beauty...especially when viewed on the big screen. Words fail to describe what it's like to view all this on a theatre screen... I never in my life thought that I'd have the pleasure of viewing Santa Monica Pier being pulled out to sea dragging a bunch of land with it, or all of Yellowstone exploding in a volcanic eruption. Yea...It's jaw-dropping.
The plot of 2012 involves a family fighting to survive the end of the World, a scientist that is fighting to keep control of the worsening situation, a corrupt government official, and a conspiracy to save only the rich and wealthy. An interesting story indeed. I never expected a Roland Emmerich film to have a believable, compelling, and touching story...but 2012 does, and boy does it grab the audience and pull us in. The film clocks in at around 3 hours, but for me it felt like it wasn't more than 90 minutes.
In the film the cause of all the chaos is the ever increasing heat of the sun. It heats up the Earths core which in turn causes the Earth's crust to move in ways we've never before seen; all this creates massive earthquakes, Volcanic Eruptions, and monster tsunamis that bring about the end of the Earth.
2012 is best viewed on the biggest screen possible, preferably an IMAX screen if you want the ultimate viewing experience and the ultimate RIDE OF YOUR LIFE. 2012 takes us, the audience, on a rollercoaster ride full of twists, turns, sudden drops and stops, and grinds to halt leaving us screaming for more.
5 STARS- BETTER THAN SEX
In 2012 Massive waves, Volcanic eruptions of an amzing magnitude, fiery flying bits of debris, earthquakes, toppling buildings, crashing trains, and other amazing sights totally encompass our field of vision fully and epicly. There is nothing I have ever seen that measures up to these sights of tragic beauty...especially when viewed on the big screen. Words fail to describe what it's like to view all this on a theatre screen... I never in my life thought that I'd have the pleasure of viewing Santa Monica Pier being pulled out to sea dragging a bunch of land with it, or all of Yellowstone exploding in a volcanic eruption. Yea...It's jaw-dropping.
The plot of 2012 involves a family fighting to survive the end of the World, a scientist that is fighting to keep control of the worsening situation, a corrupt government official, and a conspiracy to save only the rich and wealthy. An interesting story indeed. I never expected a Roland Emmerich film to have a believable, compelling, and touching story...but 2012 does, and boy does it grab the audience and pull us in. The film clocks in at around 3 hours, but for me it felt like it wasn't more than 90 minutes.
In the film the cause of all the chaos is the ever increasing heat of the sun. It heats up the Earths core which in turn causes the Earth's crust to move in ways we've never before seen; all this creates massive earthquakes, Volcanic Eruptions, and monster tsunamis that bring about the end of the Earth.
2012 is best viewed on the biggest screen possible, preferably an IMAX screen if you want the ultimate viewing experience and the ultimate RIDE OF YOUR LIFE. 2012 takes us, the audience, on a rollercoaster ride full of twists, turns, sudden drops and stops, and grinds to halt leaving us screaming for more.
5 STARS- BETTER THAN SEX
Beetle delves into all the problems with Law Abiding Citizen
My plan was originally to see the Epic 2012... but at the insistance of Jumpy I changed my mind at the last minute and saw Law Abiding Citizen instead. WHY??!!
Law Abiding Citizen starts out with Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) getting the shit kicked out of him and then being forced to witness the murder of his family. An undetermined amount of time later he goes to Nick Rice (Jamie Fox), a hot-shot attorney that only cares about his 96% conviction rate. Instead of doing the right thing and risk losing his conviction rate, Nick strikes a deal with the main criminal. The main one (Darby) will testify against his partner, who will be sent to death row, and Darby will get a shortened sentence in exchange for his testimony. When he gets this news Clyde is furious and begs Nick not to go thru with the deal, but is shortly informed that the deal has already been made. Wronged by the legal system, Clyde formulates a plan that he sets into motion 10 years later.
Law Abiding Ciotizen has been advertised as a Revenge flick, but it actually is nothing of the sort. We, the audience, find out around 45 minutes into the film that Clyde's plan has more to do with exposing the faults in the legal system than with Revenge, though that does play a small part in it.
The beginning of the film starts out pretty slow and boring, slowly building itself up till, for 5 minutes, the film is exactly what it needs to be. As soon as those 5 minutes end the film quickly does a nosedive and crashes into the ground. For the middle of the film (which makes up most of the movie) the film is at rock bottom or is nose-diving. During this portion the film has lost it's direction and sense of meaning. It's forgotten what it had originally wanted to achieve and what had made the film work and becomes a ridiculous, stupid, boring thing to watch. At this point I was teetering on the edge of a one star rating...until the final 5 minutes come around and bring the film back to what it was like before. But it's not enough unfortunately, The middle has already driven the film into the ground...the ending just barely brings it up a little.
There is nothing more frustrating than a film tht has lost it's purpose and direction...that's exactly what Law Abiding Citizen is.
Gerard Butler puts in a career changing performance as the insane with grief Clyde. The filmmakers are given a great character but don't know what to do with him. He starts out as a normal Joe, then turns into an avenging Anti-hero with a plan, and then transforms into a mad man that has lost all sense of reason... the man Clyde is at the beginning of the film and at the end are 2 very different dudes. The filmmakers do everything in their power to stop you from rooting for Clyde. They turn him into the more-or-less "Villain" of the film. Since he is the only really likeable character in the film (He's certainly alot more interesting than the bland and CLEARLY AN ASSHOLE Nick, whom we spend most of the film with...hmmm, maybe thats why the film ended up kinda stinking), by turning him into the "bad guy" that takes away our only investment in the film, thus we end up not really giving a fuck about who lives and who dies.
Law Abiding Citizen is a film that had higher aspirations than most films do and it gets bonus points for that, but it doesn't know how to go about achieving those high aspirations.It kind of has a clue,but not totally. Hey, It's better to aim high and fall, then to aim low and succeed.
Overall L.A.C was film that aspired to be more than it ever could be, almost like a child that dreams of being Spiderman.It starts out focused but quickly loses its sense of direction and purpose, forgetting what it had set out to do in the first place. Slip it some focus pills and maybe it would have been better. Don't bother wasting your money on this one, instead wait for it on DVD.
2.5 stars- High Rental
Law Abiding Citizen starts out with Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) getting the shit kicked out of him and then being forced to witness the murder of his family. An undetermined amount of time later he goes to Nick Rice (Jamie Fox), a hot-shot attorney that only cares about his 96% conviction rate. Instead of doing the right thing and risk losing his conviction rate, Nick strikes a deal with the main criminal. The main one (Darby) will testify against his partner, who will be sent to death row, and Darby will get a shortened sentence in exchange for his testimony. When he gets this news Clyde is furious and begs Nick not to go thru with the deal, but is shortly informed that the deal has already been made. Wronged by the legal system, Clyde formulates a plan that he sets into motion 10 years later.
Law Abiding Ciotizen has been advertised as a Revenge flick, but it actually is nothing of the sort. We, the audience, find out around 45 minutes into the film that Clyde's plan has more to do with exposing the faults in the legal system than with Revenge, though that does play a small part in it.
The beginning of the film starts out pretty slow and boring, slowly building itself up till, for 5 minutes, the film is exactly what it needs to be. As soon as those 5 minutes end the film quickly does a nosedive and crashes into the ground. For the middle of the film (which makes up most of the movie) the film is at rock bottom or is nose-diving. During this portion the film has lost it's direction and sense of meaning. It's forgotten what it had originally wanted to achieve and what had made the film work and becomes a ridiculous, stupid, boring thing to watch. At this point I was teetering on the edge of a one star rating...until the final 5 minutes come around and bring the film back to what it was like before. But it's not enough unfortunately, The middle has already driven the film into the ground...the ending just barely brings it up a little.
There is nothing more frustrating than a film tht has lost it's purpose and direction...that's exactly what Law Abiding Citizen is.
Gerard Butler puts in a career changing performance as the insane with grief Clyde. The filmmakers are given a great character but don't know what to do with him. He starts out as a normal Joe, then turns into an avenging Anti-hero with a plan, and then transforms into a mad man that has lost all sense of reason... the man Clyde is at the beginning of the film and at the end are 2 very different dudes. The filmmakers do everything in their power to stop you from rooting for Clyde. They turn him into the more-or-less "Villain" of the film. Since he is the only really likeable character in the film (He's certainly alot more interesting than the bland and CLEARLY AN ASSHOLE Nick, whom we spend most of the film with...hmmm, maybe thats why the film ended up kinda stinking), by turning him into the "bad guy" that takes away our only investment in the film, thus we end up not really giving a fuck about who lives and who dies.
Law Abiding Citizen is a film that had higher aspirations than most films do and it gets bonus points for that, but it doesn't know how to go about achieving those high aspirations.It kind of has a clue,but not totally. Hey, It's better to aim high and fall, then to aim low and succeed.
Overall L.A.C was film that aspired to be more than it ever could be, almost like a child that dreams of being Spiderman.It starts out focused but quickly loses its sense of direction and purpose, forgetting what it had set out to do in the first place. Slip it some focus pills and maybe it would have been better. Don't bother wasting your money on this one, instead wait for it on DVD.
2.5 stars- High Rental
Saturday, November 14, 2009
BEETLE'S BUG JUICE: THE 4th KIND A PHONY??
You all have seen the trailers for the 4th kind; a film that is suppossedly based on a true story and has suppossed "REAL" footage to back that claim. Well, I've dug up a few articles that seem to say otherwise.
http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/11/12/3494286-studio-settlement-reported-for-fake-movie-news
http://community.adn.com/adn/node/143292
I personally think that it's hilarious. Universal thought they could create their own "TRUE" story and then back it up with FAKE "Real" footage and fake news articles that they shot and wrote themselves and then thought they'd get away with it...well, they almost did. It was genius to do all this for the sake of a movie, but I'd prefer that it never happen again. Once is MORE than enough
Till then I'm Beetlejuice and you've just been bugged.
http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/11/12/3494286-studio-settlement-reported-for-fake-movie-news
http://community.adn.com/adn/node/143292
I personally think that it's hilarious. Universal thought they could create their own "TRUE" story and then back it up with FAKE "Real" footage and fake news articles that they shot and wrote themselves and then thought they'd get away with it...well, they almost did. It was genius to do all this for the sake of a movie, but I'd prefer that it never happen again. Once is MORE than enough
Till then I'm Beetlejuice and you've just been bugged.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Great Vids on Transformers 2
You all already know my opinion on Transformers 2. It continues to anger me (Imagine a slow Boil)that Michael Bay would not only be allowed to make sludge like TF 2 and get away with it, but that he's being permitted to make a 3rd film. I won't allow myself to think about this for too long (If I do I'm sure I'll suffer some kind of mental/nervous breakdown). Either way here's a video to back up my views.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6Wb-gTCIR4
SPOILERS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScqlMbdB3eA&feature=fvw
http://my.spill.com/profiles/blogs/transformers-revenge-of-the-56
If the public continues to buy tickets to sludge like Transformers 2 and 3 then Hollywood will continue to produce similar Sludge. HOWEVER, if the public demands higher quality films and buys tickets to said films over said sludge, then Hollywood will begin to churn-out real gems. So, are you going to continue to give in to Hollywood's brand of brain-cell killing movies, or are you going to demand higher quality films??? The future is up to us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6Wb-gTCIR4
SPOILERS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScqlMbdB3eA&feature=fvw
http://my.spill.com/profiles/blogs/transformers-revenge-of-the-56
If the public continues to buy tickets to sludge like Transformers 2 and 3 then Hollywood will continue to produce similar Sludge. HOWEVER, if the public demands higher quality films and buys tickets to said films over said sludge, then Hollywood will begin to churn-out real gems. So, are you going to continue to give in to Hollywood's brand of brain-cell killing movies, or are you going to demand higher quality films??? The future is up to us.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Beetle refuses to be spooked by Paranormal Activity
Paranormal Activity... Take away the para and the title would fit the film
I'm going to let rip, for the very first time in the history of this site, a HUGE spoiler. I've generously left a gap between this paragraph and the next so that those who would wish to know nothing about this film will not be angered. That is actually the best way to walk into this little film, knowing absolutely nothing about the film, and if you have seen the trailers...well, you know more than you think you do...trust me.
The reason why the title is misleading is because the entity antagonizing the couple in the film is not a ghost... It's a demon. Hence the title PARAnormal activity doesn't really fit the film, because Demons aren't paranormal.
In Paranormal Activity we follow a young couple, Micah and Katie, as they deal with an increasingly aggressive demon that has been stalking Katie since childhood.
Activity has absolutely NO BEGINNING...instead making the interesting choice of thrusting the audience directly into the middle of the story, with Micah bringing the videocamera home and doing a quick test run of it. It is with this camera that Micah, against the pleas of his girlfriend and a psychic, will attempt to record footage of the entity in action. He is warned several times that by using the camera he will only be teasing the spirit, thus making things worse. Micah, being the cocky show-off that he is, blows off the warnings and begins to document the activity in the house. Of course, it doesn't take long for things to get much much worse. Soon, angered by the prescence of the camera the demon shifts its focus from Katie to Micah.
Paranormal Activity draws more than inspiration from the Blair Witch Project, a much better executed and interesting film despite it's shakey cam.
Activity takes an oft-repeated idea and tries, unsuccessfully, to breathe life into it. The 2 main characters are unlikeable and uninteresting. Micah is the typical alpha-male boyfriend that repeadeatly re-assures Katie that, despite evidence to the contrary, he's got everything under-control. Katie, while alot smarter than Micah, is just plain boring to watch. Another problem with the film is that it just isn't believable, it all felt extremely fake. I wish I could say what they could have done to make it more "Real" but I don't know. I have a feeling that it may have to do with the atmosphere they created. The house this couple inhabits just does not scream SCARY to me. The last 20 minutes or so of the film is where it finally does start to get scary, unfortunately After said 20 minutes it has a typical hollywood anti-climactic ending.
Suffering from inconsistant scares, and a too-short running time (for the love of god, all you needed to do was slap an extra 20 minutes onto the last 20 and keep the scares coming!!) Paranormal Activity unfortunately falls flat. The "Scares" aren't all that scary (OH NO, a moving door!!) until the final 20 minutes, and unfortunately by then it's too late because the end is near.
I'm catergorizing this film into the HAD GREAT POTENTIAL category along with Jennifer's Body. This film could have been a scary-as-hell-shit-your-pants-run-out-of-the-theatre-crying film, but the filmmakers didn't follow up on any of the great scares they had the opportunity to generate during the film. I just can't bring myself to reccommend this film to anyone. Paranormal Activity, while interesting at the best of times, is a fairly Normal outing at your local theatre...unfortunatly.
2.5/5
I'm going to let rip, for the very first time in the history of this site, a HUGE spoiler. I've generously left a gap between this paragraph and the next so that those who would wish to know nothing about this film will not be angered. That is actually the best way to walk into this little film, knowing absolutely nothing about the film, and if you have seen the trailers...well, you know more than you think you do...trust me.
The reason why the title is misleading is because the entity antagonizing the couple in the film is not a ghost... It's a demon. Hence the title PARAnormal activity doesn't really fit the film, because Demons aren't paranormal.
In Paranormal Activity we follow a young couple, Micah and Katie, as they deal with an increasingly aggressive demon that has been stalking Katie since childhood.
Activity has absolutely NO BEGINNING...instead making the interesting choice of thrusting the audience directly into the middle of the story, with Micah bringing the videocamera home and doing a quick test run of it. It is with this camera that Micah, against the pleas of his girlfriend and a psychic, will attempt to record footage of the entity in action. He is warned several times that by using the camera he will only be teasing the spirit, thus making things worse. Micah, being the cocky show-off that he is, blows off the warnings and begins to document the activity in the house. Of course, it doesn't take long for things to get much much worse. Soon, angered by the prescence of the camera the demon shifts its focus from Katie to Micah.
Paranormal Activity draws more than inspiration from the Blair Witch Project, a much better executed and interesting film despite it's shakey cam.
Activity takes an oft-repeated idea and tries, unsuccessfully, to breathe life into it. The 2 main characters are unlikeable and uninteresting. Micah is the typical alpha-male boyfriend that repeadeatly re-assures Katie that, despite evidence to the contrary, he's got everything under-control. Katie, while alot smarter than Micah, is just plain boring to watch. Another problem with the film is that it just isn't believable, it all felt extremely fake. I wish I could say what they could have done to make it more "Real" but I don't know. I have a feeling that it may have to do with the atmosphere they created. The house this couple inhabits just does not scream SCARY to me. The last 20 minutes or so of the film is where it finally does start to get scary, unfortunately After said 20 minutes it has a typical hollywood anti-climactic ending.
Suffering from inconsistant scares, and a too-short running time (for the love of god, all you needed to do was slap an extra 20 minutes onto the last 20 and keep the scares coming!!) Paranormal Activity unfortunately falls flat. The "Scares" aren't all that scary (OH NO, a moving door!!) until the final 20 minutes, and unfortunately by then it's too late because the end is near.
I'm catergorizing this film into the HAD GREAT POTENTIAL category along with Jennifer's Body. This film could have been a scary-as-hell-shit-your-pants-run-out-of-the-theatre-crying film, but the filmmakers didn't follow up on any of the great scares they had the opportunity to generate during the film. I just can't bring myself to reccommend this film to anyone. Paranormal Activity, while interesting at the best of times, is a fairly Normal outing at your local theatre...unfortunatly.
2.5/5
Beetle's Bag Of WIINS!!
You read that correctly Beetle-heads. Your ghost host with the most most is also into Interwebz culture. Today I've decided to find a few internet WIINs with you. so sit back relax, and enjoy the FUN!
1. Hilarious Dance- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LniPZTtSHXU
2. Jumbotron Dance Success- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmiS0RNNp28
3. Human Jumbotron- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyLJ_ZVyJH4&feature=player_embedded
Thats all for now, but keep your eyes open...you'll never know when I'll open another BAG OF WINS
1. Hilarious Dance- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LniPZTtSHXU
2. Jumbotron Dance Success- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmiS0RNNp28
3. Human Jumbotron- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyLJ_ZVyJH4&feature=player_embedded
Thats all for now, but keep your eyes open...you'll never know when I'll open another BAG OF WINS
BEETLE'S REVIEW OF THIS IS IT
On June 25th, 2009 Michael Jackson died in his sleep. On that day the World lost a Pop God. Now we are reminded of that by the film made from MJ's final days: THIS IS IT.
Playing as a touching tribute to The King, an exploration of his idiosyncracies, and a chance for us to gain admittance to the conert that never was. After viewing the film there will be no doubt in anyone's mind that MJ was indeed headed for what could possibly be the biggest comeback in history... that makes his death all the more tragic. To watch the king sweat out there on the stage; strutting his stuff as only he can; and to see him get more and more excited about his tour breaks your heart...knowing what the inevitable outcome would be. During the film MJ shows that he understood the business that he was in perfectly, one of the reasons he was able to last in our minds as long as he has and will.
This Is It is one of the most amazing, fun, and sad films I have ever seen in a theatre. During the film we are transported into his concert, the stage a surreal version of MJ's heaven. He slides across the screen, almost effortlessly.
This Is It is a huge reminder of the Man that was, the man he wanted to be, the man we saw, and the man he never would be. Near the end of the film MJ has a big speech in which he says " It's an adventure. A great adventure. I want to take them to places they've never been before. I want to show a time no one's ever seen before. " This Is It does all that and a whole lot more. It all makes for a film that noone should miss.
5 stars- Better than Sex
Playing as a touching tribute to The King, an exploration of his idiosyncracies, and a chance for us to gain admittance to the conert that never was. After viewing the film there will be no doubt in anyone's mind that MJ was indeed headed for what could possibly be the biggest comeback in history... that makes his death all the more tragic. To watch the king sweat out there on the stage; strutting his stuff as only he can; and to see him get more and more excited about his tour breaks your heart...knowing what the inevitable outcome would be. During the film MJ shows that he understood the business that he was in perfectly, one of the reasons he was able to last in our minds as long as he has and will.
This Is It is one of the most amazing, fun, and sad films I have ever seen in a theatre. During the film we are transported into his concert, the stage a surreal version of MJ's heaven. He slides across the screen, almost effortlessly.
This Is It is a huge reminder of the Man that was, the man he wanted to be, the man we saw, and the man he never would be. Near the end of the film MJ has a big speech in which he says " It's an adventure. A great adventure. I want to take them to places they've never been before. I want to show a time no one's ever seen before. " This Is It does all that and a whole lot more. It all makes for a film that noone should miss.
5 stars- Better than Sex
Monday, November 2, 2009
BEETLE'S RETRO REVIEW: SHAUN OF THE DEAD
Hey Beetle-heads, it's time for another Retro Review. Here's how it works: A retro review could be of a film that came out a year ago or even 40 years ago.Today I focus on the smash hit known as Shaun of the Dead.
I had heard people raving about this film for a while and finally decided that it had come time for me to view it. I'm glad I did.
Shaun of the dead focuses on a loser named Shaun and his Best Friend/ Slacker Ed as they brave a post-apocalyptic world. During their escapades Shaun attempts to sort out his life, an ironic choice of timing seeing that he could meet his end at any minute.
Shaun of the dead is full of irony, ingenius bits of humor, wit, bad-assedness, and a surprising touch of emotion..something I did not see coming and was pleasantly surprised at...after all we are dealing with what could be the end of the world as we know it.
Shaun of the Dead treats it's subject matter with equal doses of humor, emotion, drama, reverence, and fun. It's my kind of Zombie flick..the kind I've been waiting my whole life to see. As I watched the film I realized that I could be Shaun if a zombie epidemic ever occured. It would be tons of fun to just beat the living shit out of any zombie that got in my way.
Shaun of the Dead is a brilliant, hilarious and touching film that does something that most Zombie flicks have never thought to do...it makes Zombie Slaughter fun to watch.
5 Stars- BETTER THAN SEX
I had heard people raving about this film for a while and finally decided that it had come time for me to view it. I'm glad I did.
Shaun of the dead focuses on a loser named Shaun and his Best Friend/ Slacker Ed as they brave a post-apocalyptic world. During their escapades Shaun attempts to sort out his life, an ironic choice of timing seeing that he could meet his end at any minute.
Shaun of the dead is full of irony, ingenius bits of humor, wit, bad-assedness, and a surprising touch of emotion..something I did not see coming and was pleasantly surprised at...after all we are dealing with what could be the end of the world as we know it.
Shaun of the Dead treats it's subject matter with equal doses of humor, emotion, drama, reverence, and fun. It's my kind of Zombie flick..the kind I've been waiting my whole life to see. As I watched the film I realized that I could be Shaun if a zombie epidemic ever occured. It would be tons of fun to just beat the living shit out of any zombie that got in my way.
Shaun of the Dead is a brilliant, hilarious and touching film that does something that most Zombie flicks have never thought to do...it makes Zombie Slaughter fun to watch.
5 Stars- BETTER THAN SEX
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