I have been a big fan of John Carpenter's The Thing for a long, long time, so when a prequel focusing on the Norwegian camp was announced I was fairly psyched. At least their not going the remake/re-imagining route with this, I thought. The original Thing was a true masterpiece, and while I never expected the prequel to be anywhere near as good as John Carpenter's version I never thought that it would have the balls to spit in its face. BAD MOVE
The Thing 2011 follows a group of Norwegian and American scientists at a Norwegian outpost in the Antarctic who have made the discover of a lifetime, little do they know that their discovery is about to turn on it's finders and slowly, painfully assimilate every last one of them. Ain't Science a bitch?
The cast here is a mixed bag. Mary Elizabeth Winstead looks bored as the main protagonist Kate Lloyd, an American who is summoned to the Norwegian Outpost (called Thule Outpost) to help dig up and examine the creature that the Norwegian crew have discovered. She does the whole take charge thing that Kurt Russel did in the original (except she is SO NOT a bad-ass), but doesn't quite pull it off like she should. I was expecting much more from this truly talented actress, so I was super disappointed with her performance here (maybe it's the scripts fault?).
Eric Christian Olsen plays Adam Finch, research assistant to Dr. Sander Halvorson. He isn't really given much to do here. That said, he is one of the few character's I really liked and felt I had a connection with. He's the good natured American who is kind of like a normal Joe you'd meet on the street. Warm, friendly, and kind...it's pretty hard not to like this character, and that's why one of his scenes is so agonizingly painful to watch (you'll know which one I'm referring to when/if you see the film).
Ulrich Thomsen plays the head scientist at Thule Outpost, Dr. Sander Halvorson. I couldn't believe how much of a raging asshole this character was. He is the typical ego infused scientist, but his portrayal of this role goes waaay over the top to the point where I really wanted to punch him. Adam Finch says it best with a line that goes something like this: "So now you're an asshole?" (that's as best as I can remember it).
Joel Edgarton is one of the best actors here, he's got some real emotion and a believability to him in this film, both things some other characters lack. He plays the American Pilot for Thule Outpost, Braxton Carter. He is another Kurt Russel-esque character, but like Kate he's really not a bad-ass. He doesn't really enjoy being at the Thule Outpost, and just wants to go home so he can enjoy his basketball games. Unfortunately for him, what occurs when he's at the research outpost may prevent him from ever returning home again. He's another super-likeable character and it's a damn shame what happens to him in the end. Joel Edgarton is really proving his acting chops this year, this guy has got the shine.
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is another great actor here. He plays another American at the Thule Outpost, Jameson, the best friend to Braxton. While he isn't in the film much, he does make somewhat of a lasting impression.
The last actor/character I'm going to talk about is my personal favorite. Jorgen Langhelle is great as Lars, the only real bad-ass character in the film. He doesn't speak a lick of english, but is unwavering in his determination to destroy every single Thing he comes across. He also plays a big role in a sequence that plays out during the credits that ties the prequel directly to the John Carpenter film (I'm sure you Thing Fans can guess what I'm referring to, sadly this is the best part in the whole film). Right from the moment he says "Get Back, Demons!" (subtitled, of course) I was hooked on his character.
While The Thing prequel does succeed in coming up with believable explanations for what we see of the Norwegian outpost in John Carpenter's film, The Prequel doesn't understand The creature or the message in John Carpenter's version. In the prequel, The Thing has been dumbed down to a mindless alien that blindly attacks whoever is closest to it at the time. It doesn't plot or plan, it just slashes, kills, and assimiliates anything and anyone it can get it's claws on (perfect example: one of The Things in human form sets Kate up to suspect someone else as The Thing and even gets her to go to a room to get some keys which Kate will use to disable some snowmobiles. However, as Kate is searching for the keys the Thing attempts to assimilate Kate...WHY WOULD IT DO THAT??? KATE WAS ABOUT TO DO EXACTLY WHAT IT WANTED HER TO DO!!! SHE WAS ABOUT TO SPREAD SUSPICION AND STRAND EVERYBODY THERE!!!! WHY ATTACK HER, WHAT DOES THE THING GAIN FROM THIS???!!!! IT JUST THWARTED ITS OWN PLAN!!!!! ARGH!) This is the single biggest sin the film commits, it destroys everthing the Carpenter film set up. Gone is the smart, intelligent monster from another world and in its place is essentially a mindless monster that only cares about killing/assimiliating as many people as possible. This was not what the original Thing was like, and thus it detracts ALOT from this film.
As I said in the previous paragraph The Thing not only gets the monster wrong, it also fails to create any real sense of paranoia, tension, or suspense. Don't get me wrong, the film does try to create these things...it just doesn't know how to correctly do this. The result is the audience ends up feeling empty during these scenes. What is a Thing film without Tension, paranoia, and suspense? Nothing, that's what. Don't believe me? Go see the prequel.
Another thing that turned me off of this film was it's insistence on using CGI (most of which was just ok, to be honest). Now I'm kind of tired of seeing CGI being used so heavily in films, and The thing unfortunately continues this trend. For me, it runs the illusion of "this is real". As far as The Thing goes, when the CGI kicks in, all you'll see is CGI... not a cool Thing, but "oh, that's CGI...ok." Yeah, I was disappointed.
A troubling thing about this film is no matter how much it insists it's a prequel, it still manages to replicate events found in the first film. Man who gets injured Things out and attacks people, CHECK! Head scientist is assimilated and attempts to escape in a spacecraft, CHECK! Crew stand around a burning thing and talk about the problem at hand, CHECK! A test is concocted to see who is human and who is Thing, CHECK (in The prequel, they try to come u with a blood serum test but someone sabotages it so instead they come up with a filling test. Since The Thing cannot replicate inorganic material, they decide to check and see who has fillings in their teeth. Of course, this test has many variables and by no means truly points out who is Thing and who is not...it's pretty useless). The Thing may bill itself as a prequel but it's got the spirit and feel of a remake. Think of it as a hyrid of prequel and remake, a not too successful hybrid if one must be honest.
While the first half of The Thing is slow and plodding as it goes over stuff Thing fans already know, the second half is all action, kills, blood, gore and gross-out moments...but there is no meaning or message here. The thing prequel is all surface, no substance. What I'm saying is that it's an empty thrill, and while I did catch myself having fun at some moments I had to stop and remind myself that I was watching the bastardization of a classic horror film. The Thing prequel is all mindless kills, gore and gross outs purely for the sake of mindless kills, gore and gross outs, there's no reason or meaning in the film. In the end, The Thing is in reality a cool piece of fan fiction done by people that never fully grasped what John Carpenter's The Thing was and what made it such a huge success. It will piss off die hard Thing fans (such as myself) and will tarnish the legacy and meaning of Carpenter's version to newcomers, thus I can't really recommend it to anyone, it really should not have been made. What does it say about your film when the best part happens during the credits, and the best character disappears for most of the second act (I'm talking about Lars).
The Thing prequel really is just a lame assimilation of Carpenter's classic horror flick and thus there is only one thing left to do...Torch the fucker and walk away. Good thing I brought my flamethrower.
As a Thing Fan I'd give it 0.5 / 5 STARS FUCK YOU (got everything about the classic film wrong)
As a normal moviegoer I'd give it 1.5 / 5 Stars (mainly a dull film, but did have some mindless action scenes and kill scenes near the end...admittedly some were kind of cool)
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