SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: PSYCHO

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!!!

Today, for my final I review I am going to take us for a nice, relaxing stay at the Bates Motel, but  be careful because Mother isn't quite herself today. That's right folks, today I review Psycho!

Psycho is the story of Marion Crane (Janet Leigh), who flees town after stealing 40 grand. Tired from the stress of the day, from all the driving, and looking for a place to escape the rain, she stops in for a stay at the Bates Motel, befriending the sole proprietor of the place, Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins), who is stuck having to take care of his invalid mother. Little does she know that her night of rest will soon take a tragic turn for the worst, and Norman will be left to clean up the mess left behind. Soon, various people will come looking for Marion and Norman may not be up to the task of having to cover for his mother yet again.

Psycho's main protagonist would appear to be Marion Crane, but in reality it is actually Norman Bates, who is portrayed to perfection by Anthony Perkins. Norman is a shy, milquetoast, socially awkward but charming and likable man who has lived his life  under the oppressive thumb of his domineering and controlling mother. This has shaped him in many numerous and unfortunate ways which should become all too clear by the end of the film. He has no control over the events that occur at his little motel. He shapes the events but is unaware that he is shaping them. He is one of the greatest tragic characters of the silver screen and he has left a mark that will never fade.

Janet Leigh is great as the second tragic character of the film, Marion Crane. She makes an unwise choice and is persuaded by Norman to go back and right her wrongs. Before she can take any action to fix her mistakes though, she is brutally murdered in an iconic scene that once seen, cannot be unseen. I'm talking about the shower scene. This scene is responsible for many people's fear of taking a shower. You're completely naked, vulnerable, and you have little means with which to defend yourself. It's quite literally the stuff nightmares are made of. In Psycho, the scene has a much more metaphorical meaning though. Water has always been used to symbolize purification and the washing away of sins, and the scene happens immediately after Marion has decided to give the money back. She steps into the shower, which can be seen as an act of her attempting to wash away her sins, unfortunately she is killed before she can finish this symbolic act. She fights back against her attacker, but ultimately fails to protect herself. In a last ditch effort to save herself, she attempts to hold onto the shower curtain to keep herself up, but it cannot hold her weight and it rips apart and Marion collapses onto the floor. As we literally watch her life force (her blood) drain out of her and down the drain, the camera focuses on her glazed over eye...the final striking shot in a scene that easily earns it's place in film history...never before had a film killed off it's highest billed actress halfway through the film.

Psycho also plays host to one of the most fantastic settings in any film: The Bates Motel. To me this setting has become so iconic that it's almost come to represent the human mind, with the Bates Motel representing the conscious mind and the Psycho House representing the subconscious mind. No matter how you choose to view this setting, it is very eerie, creepy, and unsettling and it adds to the already superb atmosphere that can be found in this film. Fun fact: the interior staircase is actually filmed inside the Psycho House. Originally, the staircase and hallway were all that stood inside the house, but each proceeding film added more to the inside so that the house is actually more-or-less an actual house now. I don't know about you, but I would love to step foot inside it one day.

One of the main themes in the film is of the mother-son relationship and how it affects the son. Hitchcock had always been fascinated by this relationship, and he explored it a little bit in The Birds. In Psycho he delves fully into this relationship, choosing to focus on how the relationship can go so horribly wrong, and how the mother can influence her son and warp him into a monster. It really is pretty scary stuff when you get right down to it. Naturally, the other theme in the film is the workings of the human mind and Hitchcock attempts to fully explore this theme as well.

Bernard Herman composes the score here and he does a magnificent job as always. It's a creative, different score and one that, while not always a joy to listen to (the screaming violins always manage to disturb me even when i'm just listening to them on my ITouch), is still brilliant and worth a listen nonetheless. Hitchcock manages to use the iconic Psycho theme (No, not the shower theme) to represent the workings of the human mind, just another example of how a score can become an integral part of a film.

Psycho is also notable in that it was one of the first films to get audiences to root for and sympathize with the villain. Yes, for those of you who do not already know, Norman ends up being the psychotic killer. The way the film handles his character though is a thing of beauty, managing to get the audience fully on his side until the final reveal, which is all kinds of sad (but in a good way).

Psycho is a brilliant masterpiece of film making. It's got fantastic cinematography, stand-out performances from it's cast (mainly Anthony Perkins, who shines here like it's nobody's business), an amazing script, and a completely heartbreaking final twist. Psycho is without a doubt one of Hitchcock's finest films, and after all these years it still impresses, shocks, and chills.

5 STARS- BETTER THAN SEX

That does it for this year's Fright Fest. I'd like to thank everyone who stuck with me throughout the whole thing. This was undoubtedly my most successful Fright Fest yet. Till next October, stay away from any shady motels and, once again, Happy Halloween.

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: CARNIVAL OF SOULS

In Carnival of Souls, we follow Mary Henry (Candace Hillligoss), an attractive young girl who gets into a tragic car accident with some of her friends when their car crashes and sinks into a river. She is able to escape the sinking car and make her way back onto shore. Traumatized, she takes a job as a church organist in another town. Once there, she is haunted by a ghostly figure who, try as she might, she can not escape from.

Candace Hilligoss is great in the lead role. Her character of Mary is aloof and distant with most other people in the film, who try and continually fail to connect with this lost soul. Mary becomes fixated with an old abandoned carnival not far from town, and it soon becomes apparent that the only way she may be able to stop this mad ghoul's haunting is to confront him at the carnival. 

Carnival of Souls is a very eerie, off-setting film that's got a great, weird vibe to it. The film's editing is simply fantastic, helping to keep the viewer on edge and adding to the eerie tone. The setting of the carnival is also a creepy one (in reality, it resembles more of a boardwalk than a carnival). You can practically still hear the barkers and the sound of the crowd even though it has been abandoned for quite some time. It's a beautifully realized set piece, and there is a lot of creepiness that takes place there.

Carnival of Souls is a film that was designed to make you question many things inside it, and it's superb and haunting ending is sure to leave you chilled to the bone. It's one of the eeriest films you can sample today, and while it almost feels as if on the edge of camp, it's always able to pull it back just enough so that you never laugh at the proceedings. It is low budget, but that almost adds to the chilly atmosphere here. If you like being thoroughly freaked out, and leaving a film with a chill on your back then Carnival of Souls is the film for you. I loved it, and will continue to re-watch it every Halloween season.

4 STARS

   

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: HALLOWEEN 3

ONE MORE DAY TO HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, ONE MORE DAY TO HALLOWEEN SILVER SHAMROCK

 Welcome back to my fright fest. Today, I look at a film that has gained it's own cult following over the years, Halloween 3: Season of the Witch.

In Halloween 3, we follow Dr. Daniel Challis (Tom Atkins) who decides to do some investigating after one of his patients, who was mumbling prophetic warnings, is murdered. Along with the patient's daughter, Ellie (Stacey Nelkin), Dan does some digging, uncovering a conspiracy which seems to involve the Silver Shamrock Company, whose masks have been selling like crazy.

While Stacey Nelkin does an adequate job as Ellie, and Dan O'Herlihy does a suitable creepy performance as Conal Cockran, the mysterious head of the Silver Shamrock Company, this is really the Tom Atkins show. Atkins makes for a fantastic hero, which just about everyone who has seen any of his movies should know. He is charismatic, funny, but also manages to pull off the whole frantic thing pretty well too. Atkins has been a staple of many horror films over the years including the recent remake of My Bloody Valentine (of which he was one of the most memorable parts of), and his presence here only elevates the film even more. He is, as always, an immense joy to watch.

Halloween 3's first act is fairly weak, it's only when we get to explore Silver Shamrock that things start to get pretty tense, suspenseful, and creepy. The film can be very silly at times (especially whenever the suited men show up and try and act menacing....oh help, I'm, being attacked by a bunch of lawyers). A lot of what the film thinks is scary and creepy, just plain isn't. That said, the big reveal of the truth of Silver Shamrock always leaves me shaken and disgusted. While there are a lot of failed attempts at being scary and creepy, there are still some creepy things in the film that should send a good chill down your spine.

Upon release, Halloween 3 was deemed a flop. Most audiences were expecting the further adventures of Michael Meyers, and were upset when they got something completely and totally different. Now, different isn't always bad, and over the years the film has gained quite a cult following. Halloween 3 is certainly not as strong as Halloween's 1 and 2, but it still makes for a good Halloween night viewing.

 3.5 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: MOVIES I LOVE- CHRISTINE

John Carpenter used to be one of the greatest horror directors of all time. When he was in his hey day he brought us such films as The Thing, Halloween, They Live, The Fog, and In The Mouth of Madness. He also directed what I consider to be the best (and my personal favorite) adaptation of a Stephen King novel, Christine.

Christine is a love story about a boy and his car. Arnie Cunningham (Keith Gordon), a nerdy outcast, is the boy. Christine, a fiery red 1958 Plymouth Fury with a mind of her own, is the car. Slowly, Christine begins to possess Arnie, killing whoever gets between her and the boy. It doesn't take long before Arnie's girlfriend Leigh (Alexandra Paul) and Arnie's best friend Dennis (John Stockwell) begin to notice something is seriously wrong with Christine and they take matters into their own hands, hoping to destroy the devil's car and save Arnie before it's too late.

The way I could best describe Christine the car is in the terms as if she were a girl. She would be the insanely hot girl that you realize is a complete bitch and a psycho once you get to know her. She would be a great one night stand, but after you fuck her she wouldn't want to leave you and chances are if you did ditch her she would try to kill you. She is the clingy, jealous type. Christine does indeed talk in the film, speaking through songs played on her radio. She definitely has a mind of her own, and the ability to heavily influence her driver and his/her behavior. Christine easily emerges as her own character in the film.

Keith Gordon is great as Arnie, managing to play a nerd and a 50's style greaser perfectly. It is fun and scary to watch as Christine morphs him into the human version of herself. Once he is possessed him and Christine are one. Gordon pulls off the crazy blank eyed stare amazingly well. Arnie is a sympathetic character, but one that you find yourself very much afraid of by the time the end credits roll.

John Stockwell is perfectly cast as Dennis. He has an everyman quality to him, and he does feel like the kind of kid you knew in high school. He's popular with the ladies (but not overly popular), he plays football, and he's a great kid at heart, always stepping in to defend his friends. Dennis is Arnie's best friend in the film, and the beginning part of the film switches between Arnie's and Dennis' friendship and Arnie's and Christine's relationship. Dennis does disappear for a good chunk of the middle of the film, but he shows back up at the end. In a way, the main character of this film is actually Dennis since we do see events from his point of view quite often.

Alexandra Paul is great as Leigh, the new student that is brainy but also super flippin hot. Somehow, she winds up dating Arnie and grows to care very deeply about him despite his growing dislike of her. She is the first to notice that something is not right with Christine. Naturally, Christine does not approve of her being so close to Arnie and sees her as a threat, and we all know what Christine does with those who she sees as threats. Leigh isn't the most memorable character, but you do grow to love her by the end of the film and she does play an important part in the proceedings.

There are many memorable scenes in Christine, like the one where Christine chases after a bully while she is fully ablaze, and the one where she fixes herself in front of an astounded and clearly turned on Arnie. While these are great scenes, my favorite scene in the film has got to be the fantastic grand finale where Christine and a Caterpillar (as in the construction machine) go toe to toe. It's a scene that always leaves me cheering. The scene very much makes my inner geek happy, and whenever I see a CAT on the side of the road my thoughts always shoot right back to Christine.

While Christine is rated R, that is mainly because there is a lot of talk about banging early in the film. There is no nudity in the film, but there are naughty words and one scene of breast and crotch grabbing (not even bras are shown here). The killing scenes are also fairly non-bloody as well. I'd say Christine is a film you could show to young horror fans (like, 10 and over).

 Christine is a film that is sadly overlooked these days. When most people think of great Stephen King adaptations, they usually think of The Shining or Misery...but for my money Christine is the best that there is, it's got a pretty good atmosphere, some great character development, great tension, and some pretty great scary parts too. Christine is a great, fun film that is sure to chill most and that any fan of John Carpenter, Stephen King, or good horror movies should not miss.

5/5 BETTER THAN SEX

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: FUN SIZE

Fun Size is yet another film that manages to live up to it's title...it is indeed quite fun.

Fun Size is the story of Wren (Victoria Justice) and her weird younger brother Albert (Jackson Nicoll). On Halloween, Wren plans on attending a party that her crush, Aaron Riley (Thomas McDonell), is hosting. Unfortunately, those plans are nixed when she is left home to take Albert Trick or Treating while her slightly whacked mom (Chelsea Handler) goes to a party of her own. Wren isn't too pleased to spend her night babysitting Albert, and apparently Albert feels the same way since he ditches his sister the first chance he gets and runs away to a convenience store where he teams up with store clerk Fuzzy (Thomas Middleditch) to exact revenge on girlfriend stealing, all around douche Jorgen (an uncredited Johnny Knoxville). Meanwhile, frantic to find Albert, Wren enlists the aide of best friend April (Jane Levy), and nerds Roosevelt (Thomas Mann) and Peng (Osric Chau).

Victoria Justice does a surprisingly good job in the role of everyday girl Wren, who yearns to be more popular (she looks tasty in her dorothy costume, and the film does aknowledge this at times). Jane Levy is fine as hot best friend to Wren April, who is none too happy to be missing out on Aaron's party to hang with two nerds and try to find Wren's little brother. To her, this is social suicide. While she does a pretty good job here, most will want to take notice since she stars in the upcoming remake of the Evil Dead. Thomas Mann is  good as Roosevelt, who is a friend to Wren and obviously has a crush on her. Johnny Knoxville is believable as the dickbag, Jorgen. That said, he doesn't do all that great of a job here since he is essentially himself here.

By far, the best parts of the film are Albert and Fuzzy, who make for one awesome duo. Jackson Nicoll plays Albert, a weird 8 year old that, for whatever reason, decided to quit talking around a year ago. For Halloween, he goes as a one-armed Spider-Man and goes about creating chaos wherever he goes. He is ridiculously fun to watch and helps to elevate the film a good deal. He is a boy of many skills as we learn in the last scene of the film, n which he makes an embarrassing video remix of Wren. he also gets his own special credits scene. Thomas Middleditch plays Fuzzy, a convienience store clerk. He is a socially awkward outcast who decides to team up with Albert for some revenge. This could have come across as creepy, but in this film the teaming of Fuzzy and Albert works, and is actually quite endearing. It's fun to watch these two work together, and I really dug Fuzzy's awkwardness and bumbling.

Fun Size switches between the two stories, Albert's and Wren's, as they progress thoughout the night. While Albert's is obviously the better one here, there is still enough fun to be had with Wren's story that you won't ever be all that bored. There are moments where the film drags, but these never last for very long. Fun Size is a PG-13 film and there are some pretty adult parts in it including a scene of extended breast grabbing, some naughty language, a car humping chicken, a close up of Justice's butt, and a whole lot of sexual innuendo. I applaud Nickelodeon for taking a risk here, and luckily it pays off. I really do think the film just wouldn't have been as funny if it was rated PG instead. Nickelodeon has yet disappoint me.

Fun Size is a film about the bizarreness of not just Halloween, but of life. The film celebrates life's wackiness  and it praises the joys of not fitting in and dancing to your own drum, hoisting the outcasts up on it's shoulders. It was a film that very much made my inner geek scream with joy. The humor in the film is of a rich, wacky, bizarre, awkward, random quality...and I laughed my butt off constantly. Fun Size has easily become one of my favorites of the year. It's one of the most creative, original films I've seen in a while (though it does borrow some inspiration from Adventures in Babysitting, the final product is luckily as different from that film as you can get). Fun Size is indeed a fun sized treat that makes for recommended Halloween season viewing.

3.5/ 5 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS 22

 Tonight I bring you my trip report from Scare Central: Halloween Horror Nights. Now, I only got to go one time this year (frowny face), but I'll be fine...nest year I'll have to get another frequent fear pass (really is the way to go, more BOO for your buck). Anyways, last year I predicted that 22 wouldn't be as good as 21 was.....was I right? Could I possibly be psychic? Let's find out.

THEME

Let's start out with the theme this year......there is no theme. Wow, that was easy. Yup, this year HHN decided to forego their usual theme and go themeless for a change. Not the best of choices, but I'll live. There is no over-arching story for this year. I guess if you wanted to be technical you could say that the studios is themed to an unearthed graveyard, but that wasn't all that well done. There was scattered props and graveyard theming throughout, but it just didn't wow. Hey, somethings better than nothing I suppose. Also, There didn't seem to be as much fog as there was in previous years, so I came home smelling signifantly less foggy that I usually do (frowny face again).

ICON

Ok, how was the icon for this year? There wasn't one. The "unofficial" Icons are the Iniquitus this year. They rise from the graveyard bringing a gang of terrible terrors with them to terrorize you. The Iniquitus weren't given much backstory, and the focus of the event was more on The Walking Dead than them. That said, you do see them quite a bit walking around the park...so that was neat.

SCAREZONES

Ok, everybody together now: THERE AREN'T ANY. This year HHN had groups of roaming scarectors. The marketing team promised there would be nowhere you would be safe and scareactors would be more in your face than ever and that they would be allowed to chase you. That would be cool, if only you had a chance of running into them. The raoaming scareactors are quite possibly the worst idea HHN has ever had. This year it's really a case of being in the right place at the right time. The streets feel emptier than ever, and I only ran into maybe 3 roaming haordes (as they're called). Easily the best hoarde is the zombie one outside of Disaster. They are always there, and they actually mingle and blend into the crowd. When I first walked through that area I thought the zombies hadn't come out yet, and then a zombie in a wheelchaor wheeled right past me and another one shambled by. I geeked out at the realization that they had zombies wearing regular clothes, so that it would be harder to tell who was a zombie in a large crowd....very neat scare tactic, and one I definitely hope they carry on into future years.

BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE

I LOVE Bill and Ted, so I always make a point to visit this show each year. This year, the setting is San Dimas High School. Bill and Ted get caught up in the class president elections and turn on each other, each thinking they would be better at the role. The remainder of the show focuses on them going about (seperately) trying to secure votes from this year' s pop culture icons. Naturally, it ends with them realizing that they are both important, and that only together can they save the future. STATION.

The Mayan opening was simply fantastic. Loved the female Mayan outfits (think sexy Mayan bikinis). They open the show talking about the end of the world prophecy, the end of Twilight ("We sure will miss it, said no one ever"). They also do a fantastic, fun, and sexually suggestive dance (what's new?) to Wild One by Sia. One of the best openings for the show I've seen.

The Epic Rap Battles of History: Obama Vs. Romney was pretty cool. Was surprised to see this reference here since I didn't realize those Youtube videos were so popular.

The Gangnam Style portion was fun and cool.

LOVED LOVED LOVED the Chris Farley Chippendales/Magic Mike guy. SO FUNNY. Really enjoyed getting to see the classic Chris Farley routine here, and the guy really got into his role, dancing suggestively with audience members. He pointed to his cheek for a kiss from one of the audience members, and when she went to kiss his cheek he turned so she got his lips instead. He acted shocked and shook his fanger which got a great reaction from the crowd. Fucking hilarious.

LOVED the "Where's Jaws" part, Sharky/Chompy came out with a sign during this part, saying he will chomp for food. Very clever, and good to see BnT acknowledge Uni's massive fuck up.

Love how they fit in the classic "69!!!!" part from the first film.

LOVED how they brought in classic Abe Lincoln from the first film at the end.,

The Finale was pretty cool, even though the dancing resembled something out of high school (I think that was kind of the point though).

Overall, this year's show was certainly better than last year's attempt but it still wasn't one of the best ones. I didn't like the whole Bill Vs. Ted theme this year, I like it better when their working together. I also feel that the show would have benefited from more phone booth (It only appears during the last 7 minutes of the show). While the show could have been better, I still had fun with it and would gladly recommend it.

Rating: 7.5/10

HOUSES

Now we get to the part you've all been waiting for....the houses. Last year had some of the best, strongest houses I've seen. Was this year just as good? Well, I got to hit all seven, so let me preach the truth to you.

PENN AND TELLER NEWK'D LAS VEGAS: In this house, Penn and Teller accidentally detonate a nuclear bomb during one of their shows in Vegas. Seeing this as an opportunity, PnT re-make Las Vegas in their own warped vision. We are invited to tour Newk'd Vegas as they call it, and are given 3D G;asses as protection. The house was extremely lackluster, especially when compared to The Inbetween last year. There are some clever ideas, like a conjoined bride and groom and a mutated Elvis Presley, but for the most part the house isn't all that creative or trippy. The best room is easily the flashing lights room, where the whole room is covered from head to tow in multi-colored flashing lights.

Rating: 6/10
Rank: #7

UNIVERSAL'S HOUSE OF HORRORS: I had high hopes for this one. The story is that we are getting to travel through the classic Universal Monster movies, the twist is that we are doing so during a freak storm and everything shall be illuminated by lightning strikes. Sounds pretty cool, huh? Oh, if only it were...if only it were. The house starts out with a walk through a theater lobby that has a seriously cool Silver Screams vibe, it's once we enter the first film that everything falls to shit. Every room is blacklight (which I've never been a fan of). The costumes are poorly detailed, and blacklight as well. Yes, this house was a serious disappointment. Best room was one where they actually made you crawl under a netting, I've never had to do this in a haunted house before so that was a nice switch up....unfortuntely everything else sucked. The year round haunt at Universal Hollywood (which bears the same name as this one) is mounds better than this.

Rating: 6.5/10
Rank: #6


THE WALKING DEAD: I count myself a fan of the ridiculously popular tv show. I've seen every episode, and I need to get caught up on my season 3 episodes. I also had pretty high hopes for this one, and unlike House of Horror it did not disappoint. the zombie costumes and makeup effects were superb, resembling the  zombies you would see in the show. The rooms were pretty cool as well, although it didn't exactly feel like you were in the show it was still close enough for me. Highlights include the dead inside door (which would occasionally push outwards), a chain link fence (that also had the push outwards effect, pretty cool). Best room is where you get to walk through the burning barn complete with copious amounts of smoke and a burning smell....super cool.

Rating: 7/10
Rank: #5

WELCOME TO SILENT HILL: I've never been a fan of Silent Hill. I've never played any of the games, I have seen the first film though (it didn;t impress me, the sequel is getting even worse reviews which I didn't think was possible). I had heard a lot about this house, and just thinking about going through it gave me the serious willies (I know enough about some of the creatures and setting to be afraid)...so naturally I HAD to hit it up. In this house we get to take a tour of Silent Hill and meet some of it's infamous inhabitants along the way. We get some up close and personal encounters with the nurses, pyamid head, gas mask dude, and many other freakish inhabitants. yes, this is the stuff nightmares are made of. Best scene is the opening one where there is a falling ash effect, sirens, the smell of ash, serious amounts of fog, and a parked white Ford Expedition....very cool stuff. I would easily say this was the scariest house of the night. it had fantastic settings throughout and the costume designs were superb. Definitely a DO NOT MISS.

Rating: 8/10
Rank: #4

GOTHIC: This was my most anticipated house of the year. The story here is that we are traveling through a cathedral that is under going some renovations. At night, it's stony inhabitants come to life to keep guard over it. The house has some magnificent settings inside, from it's cathedral facade, to a pipe organ room complete with candles that light up and are blown out by wind, to the bell room (with some hunchbacks protecting the bells), to a complete church room we get to walk above (with pews, an altar, and candles....absolutely breathtaking), to a beautiful starry night we get to view by walking on the roof (with a gargoyle flying past). This house wasn't as scary as others (still scary enough), but it's got some of the most beautifully realized settings you can see in a haunted house. The best rooms were the one where you get to walk over the main church room and the pipe organ room (which had an air blast scare....I HATE the air blast scares). Another DO NOT MISS.

Rating: 8/10
Rank: #3

ALICE COOPER: In this house we get to travel through Alice Cooper's warped mind as we re-visit some of his classic songs. This was my first house of the night, and it was also one of the best houses there this year. The lead-up to the entrance is great with Alice Cooper's 'I Gotta get Outta Here' blaring (really pumped me up). We start out in an insane asylum, where Cooper's protagonist Steven is apparently being held. From there we get to travel though different scenes set to classic Cooper songs including a classic 50's style kitchen, a 50's style high school (complete with freakish jocks) and other rad settings. We also get to see Cooper in the house, usually stuck in a straight jacket...there is also the classic guillotine routine that Cooper would use in his live shows. It was an insanely creative, fun house that I am seriously disappointed I did not get to hit more than once. Another MUST SEE.

Rating: 9/10
Rank: #2

DEAD END: This house is themed to that creepy, dilapidated house on the hill. Over the years, the kids of the town have created ghost stories about the house and what happened  inside it. We are essentially double dared to take a stroll through the house on a Halloween night, unfortunately we learn the gruesome truth of what actually occurred there, which is far worse than anything the neighborhood kids have dreamed up. The house is beautifully themed and structured. We enter up through some stairs and into the front door, stroll through the living room, into a hallway, down into the cellar, explore the greenery, up into the attic, etc etc etc. It really does feel like you are traveling through this house and everything feels connected from room to room. It's spectacular. Dead End also has some really great scares (including a new effect which includes ghostly floating mannequins). This is one of the best houses I've seen at HHN, and it's definitely a DO NOT MISS. I wish i could have hi it up several more times.

Rating: 10/10
Rank: #1


OVERALL

This year's Halloween Horror Nights was essentially controlled by Hollywood's creative and marketing team, and it shows. The event just doesn't feel connected like it should. The lack of an overarching theme or an icon hurts the event, and the lack of any scarezones or scareactors in the streets makes the event feel emptier than usual. While I did enjoy most of the houses, they still weren't as strong as last year's (also didn't like the upped amount of air cannons used in the houses). This would be my least favorite year so far. I still had fun while I was there, and I definitely enjoyed myself.....I just wish it could have been stronger overall. Let's hope HHN 23 can right this year's mistakes.

Rating: 4/5

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD

Return of the Living Dead is essentially what would happen if the Scooby-Doo gang caused the zombie apocalypse and had to find a way to fix their mistake.

In Return of the Living Dead, we follow two hapless employees of a medical supply store, Fred (Thom Mathews) and Frank (James Karen) that unwittingly bring hell to the small little town they live in when they actidentally unleash a decades old virus (a chemical gas called 2-4-5 Trioxide) that actually stems from the events that inspired Night of the Living Dead, exposing themselves and a dead cadaver to it in the process. When the cadaver inevitably rises back to life, they call their boss, Burt (Clu Gulager) and hack it into pieces which they then transport over to a mortuary owned by Ernie (Don Calfa). They burn the body, and the fumes that rise from it's burning corpse infect the surrounding graveyard and thusly the rest of the town.  It's up to these four morons and a group of rowdy punk teens to find a way to stop the infection before it rages out of control.

Return of the Living Dead is one of the best zombie films out there. The script for the film was written by horror-pro Dan O'Bannon (who also directed the film) who wrote such classics as Alien, Lifeforce, and Total Recall (not horror, but still a fantastic film). Thom Mathews and James Karen are superb as the two half-wits that create the whole problem. Thom Mathews makes for a fantastic main protagonist and even a pretty great zombie later on. James Karen  proves that he is one of the greatest screen cryers out there, since he can be seen in just about every scene screaming and bawling his head off.

Clu Gulager is great as the head of the medical supply store that essentailly becomes the "Brains" of the group. He is the one that is looked on for leadership and ideas on how to stop the zombie outbreak. The genius thing about his role is that he's just as much of a moron as his two employees are. Gulager is great at putting on a facade of authority, all the while letting his inner idiot shine through. Don Calfa as Ernie is probably the only somewhat intelligent person in the group, and even then he still bumbles his way through the chaos just like the rest of them.

The zombie effects in Return of the Living Dead are fantastic, ranging from deliciously gooey to bone dry. These are usually what I think of when I think of zombies. Return of the Living Dead is rare in that it's zombies are actually intelligent and capable of thought. We see this as they continually ambush the paramedics and police, calling the dispatch afterwards and telling them to keep sending more. Return of the Living Dead is probably most notable for introducing the universally accepted zombie catchphrase: BRAAAAAINS!!!!! Yup, that came from this film.

In most zombie films, we get to follow a smart survival group, Return of the Living Dead turns that well known formula on it's ear and instead focuses on the fools who have no plan and are usually caught making it up as they go. The violence and gore here is more cartoonish than anything, and the antics are sure to remind most of Scooby-Doo as the group is constantly running away from the zombies and panicking. Return of the Living Dead is a straight-up zombie film and it doesn't waste much time on anything else. The focus here is not on the story, but on the antics and fun that erupt from it. From it's classic opening to it's fantastic ending (You gotta love the ending), Return of the Living Dead is a fun film that knows exactly what it is and that is one of the many reasons it excels so brilliantly at showing it's audience a good time. Sure, there may not be much to it, but Return of the Living Dead is still one of the best zombie flicks out there (It's also got a killer main theme).

4 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: NIGHT OF THE CREEPS

Night of the Creeps and I have a rich history. When I was younger (around 11 or 12 I believe), I was staying at my grandma's for vacation. I had my own large room and a small tv. I was flipping through channels and happened upon Night of the Creeps. It had already been on for a while, but I decided to watch it anyways. I remember being completely grossed out and scared out of my mind. For the next few nights I had trouble falling asleep and I'm pretty sure I had a few nightmares. Naturally, now that I'm older and it's October I had to find the time to watch this classic again. Needless to say, this time was a much different viewing experience.

In Night of the Creeps, we follow college students Chris Romero (Jason Lively) and John Carpenter-Hooper (Steve Marshall), or J.C. for short. As part of a pledge prank, Chris and J.C. break into a science lab and attempt to steal a cyrogenically frozen cadaver. Little do they know that this cadaver was infected by an alien slug, and once dethawed it will spread chaos and destruction wherever it goes. Now, it's up to J.C, Chris, Chris' sudden crush Cynthia Cronenberg (Jill Whithlow), and hardened detective Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) to stop the alien slug infestation and save the world.

Jill Whithlow is absolutely adorable as the innocent Cynthia. Jill doesn't have any problem flashing us her tits in one scene, always a plus. Cynthia is the first to witness the slug infestation, and of course when she tries to get help, no one believes her. Whithlow isn't the best actress, but she does just fine in her role.

Jason Lively is believable as Chris, the constantly depressed and self-defeating everyman. He just got out of a relationship, and so is not in the happieest of moods, that is...until he catches sight of Cynthia and decides on the spot that he wants to marry her. In an effort to win her over, he decides to pledge a frat and is given a prank to perform. He drags his best friend J.C. along for the ride. Lively does a good job here, by far his best scene being one involving a lawnmower, and another one where he gets to say one of the best one-liners in the film. Lively manages to actually pull off charming evefry now and then, and he makes for a good, believable leading man.

J.C. is one of the stronger characters in the film. He is the funny, dorky, disabled best friend to Chris. He walks on crutches, and doesn;t approve of Chris' constant mopey attitude, stating that "when you're depressed, I'm depressed. And I don't like being depressed...it's well, you know...depressing." J.C. has made it his goal to cheer Chris up in any way possible, including helping hook Chris up with
Cynthia. J.C. is one of the funner characters in the film, always having some wise-crack up his sleeve. I'll admit his whole dorky schtick can get old at times but he is still one of my favorite characters in the film.

Tom Atkins is fantastic as Detective Ray Cameron. He is tortured by a desision he made back when he was still a rookie, a decision that may come back to haunt him soon. He plays the bad-ass detective that is called on for extra help. He has some of the most memorable lines in the film (It's Miller time), and is a well-needed addition to the cast, helping to add some fun and bad-assedness into the film. You don;t fuck with Tom Atkins.

Night of the Creeps is part zombie film, part alien invasion film, and all B horror. The effects used for the zombies in the film are really good, in an old-fashioned, schlocky, cheap kind of way. They are so schlocky they're actually kind of endearing. Night of the Creeps spends much of it's time throwing in homages to other horror films and their directors. Plan 9 from Outer Space is mentioned several times and appears on a television once, the last names of the leads (Croneneberg, Carpenter, Hooper, Cameron, Romero) are last names of famous horror directors, and the film starts in the '50's and uses Black and White for this portion (a clear throw-back to 1950's horror films). Night of the Creeps can be surprisingly clever at times, as it's homages and nods are proof of.

Night of The Creeps may not be the best, or strongest B horror film you can see but it's infectious silly fun makes this a good one to re-watch during the Halloween season (or any time in fact). Looking back, I am surprised that this film scared me so much during my youth. Sure there are a few creepy moments and there are some good gross-out parts (just looking at those slugs makes me cringe a little), and the atmosphere is no doubt fantastic....but I've seen much scarier films. Still, this film will always have a special place in my heart as one of the first films to really introduce me to B horror (or any horror) and one of the very few films to keep me awake at night. Night of the Creeps will certainly give you a few chills, a few good laughs, and a few things to pump your fists to (the climax is all kinds of awesome). All in all, if you're looking for a good way to pass the time, you could do worse than Night of the Creeps.

3.5 STARS

Slither was actually inspired by this film.

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4

It's finally happened people, the moment we all knew would eventually come: the Paranormal Activity franchise has finally run out of steam.

In Paranormal Activity 4 we follow a new family consisting of daughter Alex (Kathryn Newton), mother Holly (Alexondra Lee), father Doug (Stephen Dunham), and adopted son Wyatt (Aidan Lovekamp). When new neighbor next door Katie (Katie Featherstone) is whisked away to a hospital, the family takes in her mysterious child Robby (Brady Allen, who we are led to believe is Hunter). Naturally, strange goings-ons start to occur and a scared Akex brings in her boyfriend Ben (Matt Shively) to help.

 In this film, Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman return again to direct the fourth outing. They brought some frash air into the series' third installment, so it's natural to hope that they could do the same for the fourth outing....no such luck unfortunately. It seems even these two creative and talented filmmakers had run out of ideas for the franchise as they are reduced to cat scares, bouncing basketballs down steps, and even jump cut scares. They do almost hit upon a great idea when they bring in the story element of Alex and Ben working together as an investigative duo, unfortunately that doesn't play all that large of a role in the film. In a greater film, that element could have been used to turn the duo into an almost mini-ghost hunters crew, and the film could have focused on their efforts to uncover what was really going on... that doesn't happen here though. Also the way they bring in the multiple cameras in the house doesn't feel natural, and all the jumps to different cameras feels unorganic to the film. The film does bring in XBOX Kinect and it almost has an idea about what to do with it's nightvision tracking dots....but this is barely used. It's clear that Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost have grown tired of the franchise as their efforts here are downright lazy and uninspired,  let's hope that the franchise brings in some new directors for the inevitable fifth installment.

The acting in the film is also pretty bad. The mother is a complete airhead, the father is an ignorant business type that doesn't appear to have time for his family, and while Kathryn Newton as Alex is mighty cute, she is kind of just there (in her defense though, the film gives her absolute zip to do). The film is lacking in good character development, the only memorable character in this film is Matt Shively as the awesome boyfriend Ben. He is the only one that appears to be having fun with his role. He also is the first to suggest that Alex get out of the house since the activity seems to be somewhat focused on her. He is the most fun character in the film, and the only one I was ever fully invested in. Aiden Lovekamp as Wyatt is pretty great, as we learn more about his character the more I started to actually fear fo this kids life. He is dangerously close to having a great evil thrust upon him. Brady Allen is ok as weird kid Robby. He does the whole creepy thing pretty well. Once again, this film lacks any real characters and that is one of it's biggest detractant points (not that the other films had any great characters either, but at least those were creepy and scary).

Probably the worst thing about Paranormal Activity 4 is that it just isn't scary...or even creepy. While I do have some qualms about the first three films, at least they were legitmately scary. Paranormal Activity 4 is a film that expects us to be scared of a basketball bouncing down some steps, it's a film that resorts to the lowest form of scares. Like every other Paranormal Activity film, it relies heavily on jump scares, but most of the jumps in this one are false ones. The film also fails to create a tense or creepy atmosphere, at no point was I on the edge of my seat or tensing my self.  While the film does try (and fail) to build up to a climax, there is absolutely no payoff in the end. This Paranormal Activity film has got the worst, lamest climax I have seen in one of these films thus far.

Paranormal Activity is a downright lazy, half-assed, and uninspired attempt. It's clear that the directors and writers had run the well of ideas and inspiration dry, and this is what we got. If you are walking in expecting a good story, good characters, a tense atmosphere, and some good scares then expect to be disappointed. Paranormal Activity 4 fails to advance the franchise, instead spinning it's wheels in the mud, managing to actually take the franchise as a whole several steps back (it even attempts to rip off the Shining). The story is uninspired and bland, the characters and scares are nonexistant. While there are a few glimmers of promise in this otherwise bland, blase film they are never taken full advantage of. It's clear that the writers and directors had no passion for this film and just didn't care about ehat they were making. Paranormal Activity 4 isn;t just the worst film in the franchise thus far, it's also the worst found footage film I've seen thus far (even the direct to dvd Grave Encounters was better than this shit). If you do decide to fork over the dough to see this waste of celluloid, get ready for one boring experience....don;t say I didn't warn you.

1 STAR

I think it's time that Paranormal Activity ditch the found footage genre (it's clear they have done all they can with this style. Time to admit defeat guys) and move on to regular cinematic style. If they were to continue with the found footage genre, the best place they could take the franchise is if they decided to follow a Ghost Hunter's type show as they get caught in Katie's wrath.

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

In this edition of my Fright Fest I travel all the way to Paris to visit the infamous Paris Opera House. That's right, this is my review of the classic 1925 version of the Phantom of The Opera.

The Paris Opera house has famously been host to several mysterious actidents, not to mention it actually sits on top of some catacombs. It is the rich history of the famous Opera House (that actually still stands today) that inspired Gaston Leroux's Phantom of the Opera, which has been adapted into many films. In this version, the Opera has been host to many mysterious goings-ons that have been attributed to a Phantom. During a production of Faust, the incidents get more and more grisly. At the center of the mystery is one Christine Daae, who has been tutored by a mysterious figure in the musical arts. Christine finds herself trapped in a love triangle between old childhood friend Raoul and the mysterious Phantom, and her final descision as to who she chooses could hold disasterous consequences.

The Phantom of the Opera is one of the most highly respected horror films of all time. The film was made in 1925, back when there were no such things as talkies or sound (yes, the film is a silent one, but the music that plays throughout each scene is great). It was filmed in it's entirety at Universal City, California and indeed some of the sets still stand hidden inside soundstages today. In fact, the Opera Theater set is supposedly still haunted by the Phantom to this day.

The film famously stars one of cinema's greatest icons, Lon Cheney, as the mysterious Phantom. Cheney is easily the best actor here, the range he is able to show with only his facial expressions and body movements is amazing. Cheney was known as "The Man Of A Thousand Faces", and it was a title he easily earned. He was essentially the first  make-up artist as he did his own makeup for each film he appeared in. He famously carried his make-up secrets to his grave. His Phantom is superbly built up and teased throughout the first part of the film, much talk is devoted to his character and when he does appear we only see him though shadow. It is only until later that we finally do see him. His unmasking scene is one of the most famous in film history, and the makeup he did for his character is chilling and grotesque. His Phantom is a ghoulish, tortured soul that only wants to be loved, and when he is refused this simple pleasure he goes mad.  Cheney also gets to don the best costume in the film, the Masque of the Red Death, which is a skeletal figure robed in red. Watching Cheney in action is one of the greatest pleasures a film fan can have, I know I couldn't take my eyes off him whenever he was on the screen. Sympathetic and insane, Cheney's Phantom is easily the best incarnation of this classic character put to film

Another fantastic aspect to the film are the atmosphere and sets created here, which are all superb. The Grand Staircase, the Opera Theater, and The Roof are all magnificent and richly detailed....easily rivaling some of the sets we see in film today.  These are some of the best sets you will ever see, it blows me away to think these were built in the 20's. For an old film, the atmosphere is also quite rich as well, managing to be creepy and dark (especially the scenes that take place back stage or in the catacombs, some of my favorite areas).

While the story here does tend to drag it's feet, it is still pretty strong and manages to still hold audience's in it's grasp. The story contains all the classic elements we know and love, and it would appear to stick pretty close to the original source material.  The film gets darker as it progresses onwards, the Phantom growing more and more depraved until the final thrilling climax which starts in the Phantom's lair, proceeds into a fun-house like torture chamber, and ends with a mad chase through the streets of Paris. What more could you possibly ask for? The climax is still chilling and thrilling all these years later, a film fan's wet dream.

The Phantom of the Opera is one of the best horror films you will ever see. It still manages to pack a good deal of tense moments and scary parts into its run time despite it's old age. Starring one of the greatest actors to ever grace the silver screen, and complete with magnificent, elaborate and richly detailed sets, this Phantom is easily the best film version of the story you will ever see. Filmed in glorious black-and-white, Phantom of the Opera is still a beautiful treasure to behold that holds up surprisingly well all these years later. Bask in it's glow.

5 Stars- BETTER THAN SEX

SMALLS' GAMER REVIEW: DEAD SPACE 2

Let's start off this review by taking a look at one of the things that made the first game so great, the story.

Dead Space 2 starts off three years after the events of the first game, during this time Isaac Clark, our war-worn hero from the first game, was not rewarded with a vacation for his efforts. Isaac was instead taken aboard a densely populated space station called The Sprawl where he was placed in an insane asylum and was heavily studied along with others who had come in contact with the first marker. The goal here was to use Isaac's and other's memories to re-create the marker on the Sprawl. Bad news: the ones in charge succeeded, created a second marker, and have brought hell to the Spawl and those on board. Once again, it is up to Isaac to save the day, and this time he's not taking orders from anyone but himself. With EarthGov and director Tiedemann (head of the Sprawl) doing everything in their power to stop Isaac from destroying the marker, it looks like it will once again be one hell of a day for our weary hero.

While the story in the first Dead Space was intricate and complex, the story in Dead Space 2 is much more straight forward and there aren't as many mysteries here to discover. The story in Dead Space 2 just didn't do it for me, but that doesn't mean that Dead Space 2 is a failure.

One of my favorite things about Dead Space 2 is getting to watch the consequences of the first game. In Dead Space 2, Isaac has been stricken with an extremely severe case of dementia which leads him to have pretty freaky hallucinations of a monsterous Nicole. It would appear that coming in such close contact with the marker, mixed with the events that occurred on the USG Ishimura may have forever scarred Isaac's mind. It is quite possible that Isaac may never be the same again, this dementia may stay with him for the rest of his life. Throughout the game as Isaac fights the new wave of Necromorphs, he also has to fight off his hallucinatory episodes and his self-imposed guilt over what happened to Nicole. This, to me, is the most interesting part of Dead Space 2, as we get to delve right into Isaac's mind and get a better sense of how deeply the events on the USG Ishimura have affected him.

Speaking of Isaac, another bad-ass addition to the game is that for the first time ever Isaac speaks. In the first game Isaac was the silent type, only emitting grunts, screams, and the like. In this game, Isaac gets to talk....a lot. It's neat to hear how our hero actually sounds, and to know what he's actually thinking as the events of the game progress. Another welcome addition is that (as I said before) this time Isaac is the one in charge. That means, unlike in the first game, Isaac doesn't take orders from anyone. It's great not to have to deal with some person telling you to go fix that, and after you fix that head to this area and fix something else so that we can get this other thing up and running and so on and so forth. In hindsight, the first game may have gotten a bit repetitive with all the fixing you had to do, but I'll be damned if it wasn't still a great game, back to the topic at hand though.

The atmosphere and setting in the first game was superb, in Dead Space 2  the settings are still pretty good but can't hold a candle to the USG Ishimura (also the music and sound design aren't as strong as the first's). The Sprawl easily lives up to it's name as you have to visit a residential area, several hubs, a train station, a nursery, a Unitologist recruitment center (luckily those bastards don't play much of a role in this game, the focus is squarely on EarthGov), and more. While, yes, some areas are indeed quite creepy they just can't top the Ishimura. As I ran through the game, I do admit I started to miss the Ishimura. Luckily for me, there is a good few levels where you get to re-visit the old beauty. You see, apparently the Ishimura was rescued and brought on board the Sprawl to be explored, so you get to climb back on board her. While on-board I did get a good deal misty-eyed as I got to revisit classic areas from the first game including the entrance, the greeting area, the engineering deck, the medical bay, and the bridge. Dead Space 2 does re-create some of the elements of the first game during the Ishimura level, including a quarantine procedure (remember those? I sure do). Most areas are recognizable  but different, the whole lower level has big bioharzard plastic covering everything, and the medical bay looks like someone decided to throw a rave. In this way does the game allow players to re-live some of their fondest memories, while changing things up at the same time.

Dead Space 2 also throws in some new characters for Isaac to play with. There's Ellie, a hard-core survivor that is sure to remind most of Isaac in the first game. She gets to play Isaac's more-or-less love interest. Isaac also gets joined by a fellow inmate named Stross, a man who murdered his family while under the influence of the marker and may hold the secret to destroying it. I really dug Stross' character arc here, as it goes to some pretty surprising places. The main baddie this time around is Tiedemann, the head of the Sprawl and the man responsible for the creation of the second marker. He believes that his marker could hold the key to everything, including Earth's survival, so naturally when Isaac gets loose Tiedemann pools all his resources together to stop Isaac.

While Dead Space was a survival-horror game, Dead Space 2 is more of a survival-action-adventure game. Dead Space 2 does still have horror elements in it, but the focus here is more on action/adventure than on  horror, also Dead Space 2 just isn't as scary as Dead Space was (except for that level on the Ishimura). This isn't necessarily a bad thing, as it takes the franchise in a new direction and in this way keeps the gameplay from getting stale or repetitive. If Dead Space was Alien, then Dead Space 2 is Aliens.

While Dead Space 2 does take a different approach to the gameplay, that doesn't mean it's any easier than the first. In fact, I'd say Dead Space 2 is significantly harder that the first was. Near the end of the game, I was constantly low on health and ammo, and the health packets and ammo rounds I could pick up were quite sparse. I literally had to freeze enemies and run through areas to survive instead of staying and fighting it out. I was always under constant threat of dying, it was pretty tense. That's not to say that the first game wasn't tough, it was very tough, I just feel that Dead Space 2 was tougher.  I'd say if you do decide to give Dead Space 2 a go, try it on casual first and see if it's too easy for you.

I must say that I do prefer Dead Space to Dead Space 2 for various reasons (better atmosphere and setting, stronger story, more focused, loved the focus on horror), but that is in no way a condemnation of Dead Space 2, in fact Dead Space 2 is indeed a pretty strong game and one that is definitely worth playing. I love how there is a focus on the consequences and after effects of the first game, and I highly enjoyed getting to delve into Isaac's mind. Dead Space 2 also manages to try a little bit harder at upping the re-playability by throwing in some goodies that are unlocked for further play after you finish your first run-through. There is also multiplayer this time around and some online features (not sure what the online features entail since I do not have XBOX Live). I'd say go ahead and buy this game, it will look great sitting next to your copy of the first Dead Space (if you haven't played the first Dead Space yet, play that game and then move onto this one). So far, Dead Space has proved to be a pretty strong, fun franchise. Let's hope this trend continues into the third game.

9.5 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE?

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane is about aging child star Jane Hudson (Bette Davis) and her sister Blanche (Joan Crawford). Blanche is refined to a wheelchair due to a car actident that may or may not have been caused by Jane. Now, Jane is resigned to spend the rest of her days looking after Blanche and has been slowly going insane due to an unhealthy mixture of anger, jealousy, guilt, sadness and alcohol. When Jane eventually snaps, she begins to starve and torture her sister to death and in the meantime attempts to get famous again with the help of drunken pianist Edwin Flagg (Victor Buono).

Joan Crawford puts on a fantastic performance as Blanche. Blanche is the kind, sympathetic, caring wheelchair bound sister that had everything Jane wanted. Blanche will forever be the more well-known and famous of the two sisters (she would grow up to become a famous movie star before the car crash snuffed out her flame), and this drives Jane mad as just about  no one remembers who Baby Jane was. Blanche is shown to be just a tiny bit vain, but seems to genuinely care about Jane and her degrading mental health. When bad things start happening to Blanche, we are invested enough in her character that we actively root for her to find a way out of her new hell (and it hurts as we watch each of her plans fall flat).

Victor Buono is great as Edwin Flag, a pianist with a drinking problem and money issues. He is shown to be a really pathetic character as he spends his days living with his mother and drinking his troubles away. Once he meets Jane, he can immedieatly  tell she'scrazier than a bag of squirrels, but goes along with her idea for fame because she is willing to pay him money for his piano playing skills. He is easily one of my favorite characters here as he has a nice twist in the end. The film plays with the notion that he could be a hero near the end, and the idea is twisted enough that it actually works and we do root for him to become the hero. Does he though?

Maidie Norman does a good job as kindly maid Elvira Stitt. She is mainly Blanche's aide, and she is the first to point out that Jane's degrading mental health could lead to some serious issues. SHe is wary of Jane and doesn't trust her, suggesting Blanche take action before it is too late. She does have a significant part to play here, but she isn't in the film much. That said, she still leaves a lasting impression.

Bette Davis shines as Jane Hudson. This is easily one of her best roles. Davis plays Jane with a crazed glee, making the character equal parts funny and terrifying. She has the most memorable lines in the film (But you AH Blanche, you AH in that chair!!!). Whenever I watch the film I can't help but laugh at Jane's complete loss of sanity. One of the more interesting things about the film, is that Jane's mental state continues to slowly degrade as the film progresses until at the very end she has regressed to a childlike mentality.....truly scary stuff. Bette Davis turns Jane into one of the more memorable screen monsters you can see.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane is easily one of my all time favorite horror films, working beautifully as a character study, a horror film, and a black comedy (I'd say the film is more of a black comedy than a horror film). It succeeds at making you laugh and cringe, often at the same time. It's also got a deliciously upbeat theme song. What Ever Happened to Baby Jane is an oft-overlooked masterpiece that deserves to be seen.

5 Stars- BETTER THAN SEX

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: SINISTER

Sinister is a film that actually lives up to it's titular name, it is indeed quite sinister and quite fucked up.

In Sinister, we follow  true crime novelist Ellison (Ethan Hawke), who is desperate to relive his 15 minutes of fame that came and went after he wrote a best selling book called Kentucky Blood. Hot on the trail of an unsolved crime that he belives could be his next big book, Ellison makes the unwise choice of moving his family into the house where the murder occurred (without telling them what happened there or the true reason why they moved there). While unpacking their things, Ellsion comes across a box of old super 8 recordings. Curious, he begins to view the recordings and soon finds himself neck deep in something far bigger than he could have ever imagined.

Fred Dalton Thomas does a great job as the sherriff of the town that Ellison and crew move into, and James Ransone is superb as Deputy So-and-So, a not-so-dimwitted deputy that Ellison recruits into his investigation. In another film Deputy So-and-So would be a bumbling idiot that is called on for help but dies a grisly murder, but in Sinister his character actually provides a lot of help to Ellison and  serves an important purpose in the film. He's not just your typical throw-away cop.

 The child actors in the film are fine, but aren't all that memorable (Clare Foley's performance as daughter Ashley left much to be desired in my opinion, while Michael Hall D'Addario as son Trevor did just fine and managed to be somewhat memorable). Juliet Rylance as Ellison's wife Tracy doesn't add much to the film, her shining moment being an intense argument she has with Ellsion near the end of the film.

Ethan Hawke plays our protagonist Ellison, and this is HIS film. The film centers around him, and we are placed into his footsteps (whether we like it or not). What's interesting is that Ellsion really isn't all that likeable of a character, in fact, he's kind of an asshole (I'd say 70% of an asshole).  He continually puts himself before his family, and knowingly and willingly places them in great danger all so he can relive his 15 minutes of fame. As I said before, he's not the best guy. Here's the thing though, I don't believe we're supposed to like him. He's not supposed to be the hero, he's supposed  to be a human being with weaknesses. This is a very rare choice for a horror movie character. Ethan Hawke does a superb job here, nailing the character and succeeding in getting audiences to care for and even kind of like his character despite his flaws.

The writing for the film is quite good. C. Robert Cargill wrote the script and manages to prove that he knows what he's doing, crafting characters that aren't your typical cliches, but are the most human characters I have seen in a while (I like how he chose to make Ellison a writer, a nice touch that helped me to sympathize with that character and understand his motivations.). While some characters do make a few dumb descisions, these descisions HAVE to be made in order to move the plot along.  Cargill manages to craft a good horror story that has classic elements mixed in with a few modern twists, and what's more.... the film actually stays with you.

 Sinsiter is easily one of the better horror films I have seen of late. It's smart, it contains some genuinely creepy imagery, while the ending twist isn't all that surprising I still like where the film chose to go with it's ending, and the story is pretty strong despite some common horror tropes. Sinister will probably emerge as this year's best horror film. Sinister chilled me to the bone, and it stayed with me (pretty sure I'll have dreams about this one), and isn't that what every good horror film is supposed to do?

4 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST:YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN

Frankenstein is easily one of the very best horror films ever made, but that's a story for later becuase today we are going to take a look at a film that LOVES Frankenstein, so much that it decides to take a fun look at the well known story and tweak a few things. This is Young Frankenstein.

Young Frankenstein follows grandson to Victor Frankenstein, Frederick (Gene Wilder). Frederick has been on the run from his horrid family history, so ashamed of what his grandfather did that he even insists his last name is pronounced Fronk-en-steen, but he can't run forever. Once his grandfather dies, Frederick is sent to Transylvania to sort out his grandfather's will. Once there he groups up with loveable, wacky henchman Igor (pronunced Eye-gore, played by Marty Feldman), and sexy lab assistant Inga (Terri Gar). Will Frederick be consumed by the curse of the Frankenstein's, can he fix the mistakes his grandfather made?

Gene Wilder plays Frederick Frankenstein. His character is a send-up of the common mad scientist character we've seen so often. Frederick starts out as a sane-headed medical scientist, but by the end of the film he has turned into an insane doctor. He does a great job here, nailing just about every joke. It's great fun to see Frederick so frequently lose his cool in just about any stressful situation, and the way Gene Wilder handles these scenes is a thing of quiet genius. One thing that's interesting to note is how quickly and eagerly Frederick reverts back to his grandfather's ways, for someone who so vehemently destested his family's legacy he throws himself into the monster creator business with a mad joy. Gene Wilder does a superb job here, and this is easily my favorite role of his (sorry Willy).

Terri Gar plays Inga, another memorable character. She is indeed quite sexy, we're able to gleam that much about her right from her introduction where she invites Frederick for a "roll in the hay" (double meanings are fun!). While she is indeed quite flirtatious, she is also kind-hearted and generous. Terri Gar does a great job here.

Peter Boyle puts his own unique spin on The Monster. He grunts, screams, roars and cries his way through his performance here. The amount of emotion and thought he is able to get across with just a single facial expression is quite impressive. His monster is quite similar to the original, except he is a pacifist by heart, only being gourded into violence by fire, sudden loud noises, or humiliation. He is easily one of the best things about this film, and his performance is quite legendary.

The great Cloris Leachman plays Frau Blucher (Whinny). Her character is a humourous take on a familiar trope: the evil, mysterious maid/housekeeper. She does a fantastic job here, as the completely mad woman who may have some ulterior motives of her own. She also has what is undoubtedly one of the funniest long running jokes in film.

Madeline Kahn plays Elizabeth, Frederick's painfully prude fiance. She is pretty good here, and has one of my personal favorite sexual innuendo jokes I've seen. She is a memorable character and her impression of SPOILERS The Bride of Frankenstein END OF SPOILERS is downright perfect (really impressed me).

Marty Feldman plays the fun-loving, mischievious and wacky hencaman Igor (once again, pronounced Eye-Gore). He has most of my favorite jokes in the film (DAMN YOUR EYES). He's not the brightest bulb in the batch, but he is very dedicated and loyal to Frederick and his job. He also seems to be skilled in several forms of artistry including drawing, playing a kind of horn and even playing the piano (fun fact: he actually plays the piano for Frederick and The Monster during the Puttin on the Ritz scene). Him and Frederick are almost like best friends in the film, making the two the main comedic duo in the film (one of the more memorable comedic duos in film). Igor is easily my favorite character in the film, he's funny, playful and actually hides some wit under his hump. His performance is  indeed an iconic one, he's always who I think of when I hear the name Igor.

For a PG film, Young Frankenstein does have A LOT of sexual innuendo jokes in it. This was made in the days before PG-13, so that explains this almost puzzling facet of the film. While I wouldn't go so far as to say it's not suitable for kids (Guarantee your kids would enjoy it), I would say it's a film geared mainly towards adults (I mean, this is Mel Brooks people).


Young Frankenstein is probably my personal favorite Mel Brooks film. It's not just a hilarious movie, but it's also got heart and a reverence for the original source material that it lovingly pokes fun at. It's the rare spoof/parody/homage that actually completely understands what the original film was and waht made it work, and this is what makes Young Frankenstein so funny and such a masterpeice. Filmed in Glorious Black and White, Young Frankenstein is an earnest love letter and hilarious parody of Frakenstein, but it's also able to emerge as it's own film. If you haven't seen this slice of comedy gold, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??!!!! Stop reading this review and go buy the film and watch it! Young Frankenstein gets my golden seal of approval. WOOF!

5 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: THE LOST BOYS

Welcome back fright fans!! Today, I take a fond look back at one of my personal favorite vampire film, The Lost Boys. Yes, I have reviewed the sequels, but in my honest opinion this is the only one that really counts.

In The Lost Boys, Michael (Jason Patric) and Sam (Corey Haim) move with their mother (Dianne Wiest) to their eccentric grandpa's home in Santa Carlos, "Murder captial of the world". One night, the beautiful Star (Jami Gertz) manages to catch Micael's eye and he ends up following her to the lair of a local gang of hoodlums led by David (Kiefer Sutherland). The gang convince Michel to join their ranks, and the next morning Michael awakes to find he is now a half-vampire. It is only a matter of time until Michael succumbs to his thirst for blood, so Sam calls in a local group of vampire killers, Edgar and Allan Frog (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander respectively) for help. Now, they must kill the head vampire if Michael is to ever live a normal life again.

The vampire gang in this film make for pretty good vampires. They have a completely wacked sense of style, and manage to be pretty frightening (especially in the scenes where they use their motorbikes to threaten our heroes). what I like about The Lost Boys, is that it makes it's vampires a mix of the sexy, modern day vamps and the classic grotesque and frightening feral monsters of old. It's an inspired idea that actually works pretty well.

Another cool aspect of the film is the chemistry between the brothers. Michael and Sam's chemistry is superb. I really bought into the idea that these two guys are brothers, and that they would do pretty much anything for each other (it actually kind of reminded me of me and my bro and the relationship we have).

Of course, I have to mention the crazy grandpa here. Barnard Hughes beautifully tackles the role with a crazy eyed glee. He is the cool but crazy grandpa we all wish we could have, it also helps that he can kick ass if need be. This is one grandpa you would want on your side if things ever got nasty.

Naturally, the best characters in this film are the Frog brothers, Edgar and Allan Frog, as portrayed by Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander. I was talking about chemistry before, and these two have it in spades. Feldman and Newlander put a kind of bad-ass, and adolesecent joy into their roles. Here are two boys that take their occupation quite seriously, to the point where they even ponder how much they should charge Michael's family after the slaughter is over. It is too much fun to see these two ride up on bikes wearing army gear and bandanas, to see them checking each other's backpacks (which are filled to the brim with vampire kiling gear), and the way they rejoice after a vampire kill is just too much awesomeness to describe. I'm pretty sure I would join their crew if I could. This is the film where the Frog Bros. are at their absolute best. If you've seen this one, then there is no need to see the sequels.

The Lost Boys is a fun joy ride of a film that manages to pack in some surprisingly affecting and brutal scenes, like the vampire bon fire slaughter. The film does have some gnarly vampire kill scenes (for example, "Death by stereo"), some good gore effects (the film doesn't revel in the gore, knowing when to pull away from the carnage), and some surprisngly jolting vampire makeup effects. There is more than enough here to whet horror fans' apetites. Cry Little Sister, the theme song for the film, is also quite bad-ass and isdefinitely worth a purchase on ITunes.

While The Lost Boys can get too boasty and bogged down with some of its stylisitc camera work/editing, it's still one of the better, funner vampire films you can sample today.

4 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: THE LOST BOYS:THE THIRST

I had reviewed The Lost Boys: The Tribe several years back, now I review it's sequel The Lost Boys: The Thirst. Is it as good or better than it's predecessor? well, the short answer is no...from here on out I will spoil one major plot twist in the film, not that I'd guess any of you would really care.

In The Lost Boys: The Thirst we join back up with Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman), legendary vampire killer. He learns that a new vampire, DJ X (Sab Castang), has been hosting raves where he infects the party-goers by feeding them vampire blood, cleverly disguised as a hip new drug called The Thirst. Popular vampire author (think Twilight) Gwen (Tanit Phoenix, who's got a beautiful rack. She's not above flaunting her cleavage and ass around and makes for good eye candy and not much else.), comes to Edgar with the request that she save her brother Peter (Felix Mosse), who has been captured by DJ X. Now, It's up to Edgar to save the boy, kill the head vampire, and save the world.

In this film, Corey Feldman is back as the boy who never grew up, Edgar Frog.  He is the film's lead character this time around, a choice that probably wasn't so wise in hindsight. Feldman is clearly strying his best to do justice to the character, and there are moments where he shines but for the most part he growls his way through his performance (literally). At least we are given a reason for his bad mood, several years back his brother, Alan Frog (Jamison Newlander, who does a fine job with the scenes he is given) was forced to drink vampire blood and turned into one of the legions of undead blood suckers. Edgar failed to save his brother, and this has turned him into the cynical snark he is today. Naturally, the two do end up teaming up again at the end...and it is pretty cool to see The Frog Brothers back together kicking ass.

One of the problems I have with this film is that these vampires are some of the worst that I've seen. The vamps this time around are emo/goth kids who think they are cooler and better than everyone else. I really hated these vamps, I've known kids like this so you can imagine how much this character choice bothered me. Sab Castang plays who we preusme to be the head vampire (SPOILER ALERT: he's not). He is completely terrible, apparently having no grasp on what the concept of acting is. Luckily, the REAL head vampire actually does a pretty good job. I liked the kind of elegance the REAL head vamp brings to the role, and he puts up a decent fight near the end.

Another problem with the film is that it keeps flashing back to scenes from the first Lost Boys. This is one of my pet peeves that most sequels tend to do, so I really hated these parts with a passion. This is only made worse by the fact that most of the flashbacks serve little to no purpose in the film. They are there to give the audience nostalgic feelings. This is one of the dirtiest tricks that a sequel can pull, and this film does it again and again and again. Where's my stake when I need one?

Despite my complaints, I must say that the film does have some really great vampire kills (which I won't spoil  here), some bad-ass weapons (like a holy water balloon shooter), and some cool one-liners. Quite a few of these parts had me giggling with glee.

While The Lost Boys: The Thirst is undoubtedly worse than The Lost Boys: The Tribe that's not to say it is a completely terrible film. The film does manage to surprise with a few bad-ass scenes here and there, however I can't really recommend this one to many except for those who are die-hard fans of the Frog Brothers (and even then, you still won't find all that much to enjoy here). See this one for the fun action/vamp killing scenes, and for Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander. If you can find this one at your local redbox, go ahead and fork over the dollar it costs to rent it...there are enough cool parts that you won't feel that it was a complete waste of time.

Be sure to tune in next time when I'll tackle the original classic.

2 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE

HEY THERE KIDDIES!!!!!! Grab your cotton candy and popcorn, today Beetle's Fright Fest takes a trip to the circus with Killer Klowns From Outer Space.

Hurry hurry hurry, step right up and grab your tickets to the most wacked show on Earth! In Killer Klowns From Outer Space, intergalactic Killer Klowns land in a small town, managing to nab the attention of teenaged couple Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanna Storm,) and rookie cop Dave (John Allen Nelson) before they start their killing spree. Along for the ride is a grumpy asshole cop, Curtis Mooney (Dean fom Animal House John  Vernon),and a wacky ice cream van driving brother team (Rich, played by Michael Siegal and Paul, played by Peter Licassi), who are on the hunt for fun and girls.

Killer Klowns is a dark, campy comedy that's got a warped funhouse/circus feel to it. Heck, even the title song (The catchy 'Killer Klowns' by The Dickies) has a circus vibe to it, as does the whole soundtrack.

This is the part where I normally focus on the acting, but there's really no point here since everybody essentially hams it up. Killer Klowns may not have the best actors, but you can tell the whole cast had a blast making this film. This helps to strengthen the fun and zany atmosphere created in this film, an atnosphere that easily seeps out to the viewer. Make no doubt about it, you're just about guaranteed to have a good time watching this film.

The titular Klowns are cute but creepy creations. The killing spree they go on is more mischievious and playful in nature, though make no doubt about it their aim is indeed to harm. The film focuses mainly on the Klowns and their antics, which is a good choice and this is where most of the fun happens (My personal favorite scene is the "What are you going to do, knock my block off?" one). While most of the film is played purely for laughs, there are a few brief but creepy scenes (The Pedo-Klown and the living dummy come to mind).

Killer Klowns also succeeds in warping the items that are usually associated with circuses. Everything from popcorn, to cotton candy, to balloon animals, to silly straws, to shadow puppets, to hand puppets, to the pie-in-the-face gets Klown-ified, and boy am I glad they do. Part of the fun of this film is seeing the filmmakers put their own crazy spin on these well known staples of circuses.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space is about as good as this type of a film can get. It's got a wicked dark humor streak, just the right amount of creepiness, and pretty goodperformances from its cast. If you came here looking for scares, you'll undoutedly be disappointed. The only thing scary about this film is how much it will make you laugh. Killer Klowns From Outer Space is a delicious slice of 80's camp that also works pretty well as an homage to classic 50's B horror films. Buy a ticket, and enjoy the show.

3.5 STARS

SMALLS PLAYS THE GAME

This is going to be one of my shorter reviews, because I really don't want to spoil the incredibly fun experience to be had here.

In The Game we follow rich investment broker Nicholas Van Orton (Michael Douglas), who receives an invitation to a mysterious company called CRS (Consumer Recreation Services) from his brother Conrad (Sean Penn). Intrigued but skeptical, Nicholas takes his brother up on his offer and completes an application to partake in one of CRS' "games". Soon Nicholas is plunged head first into CRS' world, where they are in control and nothing is ever as it seems. Now, Nicholas must find a way to escape his game and save his now crumbling world.

Michael Douglas plays a real bastard of a character here. I honestly wasn't sure if I could root for his character. Part of the fun of the film is watching how CRS goes about screwing with Nicholas' world. It feels good to see him taken down a few pegs every now and then. The film asks a lot of Michale Douglas, and he pulls off his role here beautifully.

Deborah Kara Unger plays a waitress named Christine who Nicholas ropes into his game. She is another fantastic character in the film, and definitely leaves a lasting impression. The film has her do a difficult balancing act but she pulls it off with poise and ease. She is another beautiful addition to the cast here and she helps elevate the film a good degree.

Sean Penn plays Conrad Van Unger, brother to Nicholas. He's not in the film much, appearing in only three scenes but his character is what sets the game in motion and thus is crucial to the plot. Sean Penn is a great character actor and he proves that once again here as he makes his few scenes stand out.

David Fincher directs this twisty masterpiece, proving once again that he is one of the best directors out there today. I can honestly say that The Game is the only film to ever truly break me, it had me giggling madly by it's conclusion (I mean this as the best compliment possible). Only David Fincher folks.

The Game is a true tour de force cinematic experience that will keep you on the edge of your seat, guessing till it's insane ending. While the film may not make much real world sense by the end, damn is it still fun and engaging. Without a doubt in my mind, this is, in my personal opinion, the best twist film I have ever seen. Do yourself a favor, play the game and enjoy the madness.

5 STARS- BETTER THAN SEX