A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES MARKS A RETURN TO FORM FOR LIAM NEESON

 A Walk Among The Tombstones takes place in 1999, back during the Y2K craze (which gives way to the films tagline: People are afraid of all the wrong things). In it, we follow Matt Scudder (Liam Neeson), a retired detective who now works as an independent PI. When he is contacted by a drug trafficker (Dan Stevens) and his brother Peter(Boyd Holbrook) to assist in finding the men who kidnapped, tortured, and killed his wife Scudder finds himself reluctantly entangled in a dark mystery. The men responsible are still out there, they've done this before and it's quite likely they plan on doing it again. With an inept police force patrolling the streets, it looks like it may be up to Scudder to bring the men to justice.

Contrary to popular belief, Tombstones is not an action film. Liam Neeson does not go around beating in baddies skulls, in fact, there is very little action to be found here at all. Believe it or not, I think the lack of action is actually one of the film's stronger points. This easily could have devolved into a violent shoot-em-up ala Taken but Tombstones stays its course. Instead, A Walk Among The Tombstones is classic detective noir all the way. It's quiet, dark, deliberate, and thrilling.

While Liam Neeson is by no means an action star here, he is still super bad-ass and is treated to some really superb scenes including a few where he gets to threaten unseen baddies over the phone (probably the only resemblance to Taken this film really has). This is without a doubt Liam Neeson's best role in recent memory. He's very nuanced and layered here, a real complex character that is fun to spend some quality time with (and we do spend lots of quality time with him, we really get to know what makes this guy tick).

There are also some great supporting performances here including Boyd Holbrook as junkie Peter, Dan Stevens as drug trafficker and grieving husband Kenny (Stevens is fantastic here, look for him next in The Guest), and Brian "Astro" Bradley as hoodlum TJ who forces himself onto Scudder as his partner (Astro manages to emerge as one of the standouts here. He's got a natural charisma to him and his character is super likable). One of the cool things about Tombstones is that almost every character is some kind of low life, and the film actually sympathizes with the drug dealers (a nice little twist). What also helps elevate the tension and suspense that the baddies here are genuinely evil, sinister people that are quite scary. The only characters in this film who are more-or-less clean are Scudder and TJ, and even then both have skeletons in their closets.

Tombstones takes it's time getting to it's climax, and there is a significant period where the film kind of drags a bit. Luckily, it's climax is pretty great and thrilling, and the way the film builds to it is expertly done. A Walk Among The Tombstones is easily one of the best films I've seen this year.  It shows off Liam Neeson at what is arguably the best we've seen him at in a while, it's got a fantastic, rich,  dark story, and it's slow and deliberate (almost thoughtful) pace helps up the tension and suspense. Simply put: A Walk Among The Tombstones is one great film.


4/5 STARS

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY: THE INCREDIBLE HULK COASTER

How often can you say a ride changed your life? Well, when I was younger I used to be terrified of roller coasters, and it wasn't until I was 20 that I finally overcame my fear of the things thanks to the roller coaster I will be talking about today.

There is little to no real plot to The Incredible Hulk Coaster, not like a roller coaster really needs a plot. For those who insist, the story of this ride runs something like this: Bruce Banner has recruited us to partake in a science experiment that, if all goes according to plan, could help him finally learn how to suppress the Hulk inside of him. The queue is sparsely themed to Bruce's lab, with tv monitors throughout that relay the story of Bruce Banner and The Hulk to those who (somehow) do not already know it. Let's face it: the plot doesn't seem all that well thought out. During the pre-show video Bruce doesn't seem to know how we gained access to his labs, mentions that he assumes we plan to attempt to recreate his experiment, and begs us to reconsider. Once we board our coaster car, it appears we are now part of a new experiment. It's all very scatter-shot, and ultimately the failings of the attempted plot really don't matter because the coaster itself is an absolute blast!

During the coaster riders are subjected to a zero G roll, a cobra roll, two vertical loops, a subterranean mist tunnel, and two corkscrews (that makes a total of seven inversions in case you weren't counting).  The ride lasts around 2 minutes 15 seconds. The initial lift hill is different than most you have experienced in that mid-lift the coaster suddenly launches your car from 9 to 40 mph in a span of around 2 seconds (the force of the thing will push you back into your seat), after which you are immediately thrown into a zero g roll and down a 105 foot drop.  You start the ride inside, and the lift hill launches you from indoors to outdoors. I would say some of the views are beautiful, but let's face it,  you'll be too busy screaming to pay attention to your surroundings. This ride is indeed one of the big boys. It's intense, it's loud (the coaster is built by B&M and has those coasters' signature roar, which is fitting since this is inspired by the Hulk). After I rode it for the first time, I realized that if I could handle this (and come off loving it) then I could handle most of the big coasters.

Like most rides that take place outdoors, I'm going to say this one is best ridden at night (it's dark, the wind in your face is cooler, and the whole track is illuminated green at night...it's very pretty). This is likely the best coaster on Universal property, it's probably the most intense as well thanks to that thrilling initial launch (where riders experience around 1 g. The total G Force of the ride is 4). The first 30 seconds of the ride or so are the best (or as I like to say, the front portion or first half), with the rest of the ride ( aka the back portion or second half) managing to be thrilling but a bit slower. Expect long lines most of the time, so if you are ok with splitting up, the single rider line may be worth checking out. If you haven't ridden it yet, I'd say this one is a must-do. Due to it's intensity (and yes, as i said before several times THIS RIDE IS INTENSE. It easily earns its status as one of the big boys), I'm going to say exercise caution when deciding if your little ones should ride it (Gonna lean towards no on that one, unless they love coasters). The Incredible Hulk Coaster not only gives riders a small taste of what it must feel like to be The Hulk, the experience itself is thankfully quite intense, thrilling, fun and incredible as well. 

8/ 10 STARS

FUN FACT: The amount of power needed to fuel that first launch would brown out the city of Orlando's power grid every time a coaster left the station, hence why a separate facility had to be built specifically for the ride.

TAKE A TOUR OF CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS WITH TERMINATOR 2: 3-D

Earlier this month, I promised reviews of popular Universal attractions to celebrate my upcoming Universal trip. Today, I deliver the first review: Terminator 2: 3-D.

Terminator 2: 3-D had it's grand opening on April 27, 1996 and has been entertaining Universal Studios guests ever since. If you had been keeping up with the films, last we left off The T-800, John Connor, and Sarah Connor had defeated the T-1000 and left Cyberdyne in ruins.  Several years later, Cyberdyne has risen from the rubble of that day to become a mega-corporation with heavy ties to the The U.S. military among other things.  We are V.I.Ps that have been invited to attend a special presentation of Cyberdyne's latest technological creations. Something they have lovingly named: The Terminators (the model is the T-70). Nothing could possibly go wrong, right?

The experience starts as soon as we step foot into Cyberdyne's lobby: a large, sprawling space the color of steel and chrome adorned with Cyberdyne posters, that includes an area where we can pick up our safety visors for the presentation (Really, their just 3D glasses). On the overhead TV monitors is a news broadcast produced by Cyberdyne itself, titled C.I.N (Cyberdyne Interactive Network), which keeps us updated on all things Cyberdyne including their latest products, achievements and etc. During breaks, we are treated to C.D.Y.N radio which plays clips from songs featured in Terminator 2. Once they are ready for us next door we are ushered into The Miles Bennett Dyson Memorial Auditorium (a spacious, futuristic looking pre-show room).  It is here where we meet the Cyberdyne Systems Director of  Community Relations and Media Control; Kimberly Duncan; who will be our hostess for the presentation. She is a very nasty, icy, controlling person....but she covers all this with a creepy facade of smiles and bubbly-ness. During the pre-show we are treated to a (dated, but still entertaining) commercial for Cyberdyne which is interrupted briefly by John and Sarah Connor who reveal their plans to crash the presentation in the hopes of stopping Cyberdyne once and for all. Undeterred, Ms. Duncan ushers us into a large theater where the action begins.

The theater is pretty large, able to seat 700 people. The seats are actually pretty comfortable for a theme park show. While the attraction's title says 3-D, the experience we are treated to here is so much more than that. We get several large animatronic robots (Terminators), in-theater effects (strobes, lasers, smells, fog, lights),  a 3-D movie, and live actors equipped with realistic looking and sounding guns (the actors often run into and out of the screen in one of the most impressive theme park effects I have ever seen. Even though I was able to figure out how this effect is created, it still manages to wow me every time I see it. The guns they use are pretty loud too). The total experience in the theater lasts around 12 minutes, but you will walk out feeling completely wowed and ready to go out and conquer the rest of your day.

Even though it's been 18 years since the attraction first opened, it honestly hasn't aged all that much (except for the pre-show vid, which features Shaq back when he was popular). Whenever anybody asks me what my favorite theme park 3D show is, without even having to think my answer is always Terminator 2: 3-D.  The theme is strong and consistent throughout the experience (It really does feel like you have entered Cyberdyne). The mix of live-action/actors, robots, 3-D, and in theater effects (the most impressive of which, in my opinion, is the final fog effect) all meld together to create a YOU-ARE-THERE experience that is pretty hard to shake off once the show ends. Naturally, I would highly recommend this to anyone visiting the parks (except maybe the wee ones, the entire experience is pretty intense). All in all, Terminator 2: 3D is a completely and wholly satisfying experience. As Kimberly Duncan would say: It's "Super"!

10/10

FUN FACT:  Helping with the authenticity of the overall experience was James Cameron (director and creator of Terminator 1 and 2), who directed the 3-D film we watch.

The entire experience cost USF 36 million dollars to make.

TERMINATOR 2 3-D: BATTLE ACROSS TIME AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FLORIDA OFFICIALLY CLOSED ON OCT. 8 2017. RIP

BUG JUICE: NEW FROZEN RIDE TO REPLACE MAELSTROM

You may want to take a few steps back for this one folks, because I'm about to explode.

I am a Disney child, I was raised on Disney and would travel to the parks at least once a year during my childhood. I still count myself a fan of Disney, but that doesn't change the fact that I am most disappointed with their decisions as of late.

Disney used to be the big theme park in Florida, the ultimate family destination in the world. In the 90's they kept churning out hit attractions like Splash Mountain, Test Track, and The Extra-Terrorestrial Alien Encounter (an underrated classic that was ripped from this world way ahead of its time).  They even opened two brand new theme parks: Disney's MGM Studios (Now Disney's Hollywood Studios), and Disney's Animal Kingdom. Heck, the Disney Hotels like Disney All Star resorts and Port Orleans were top notch destinations as well. Yes, in the 90's life was good if you were a Disney kid. Now, let's fast forward to the present day where things have taken a surprising turn for the worse. With the sub-par re-do of Test Track (Let's get rid of that cool story, throw our guests into Tron, and while we're at it let's make everything BLUE.....cuz blue is a cool color, right?), the continuously malfunctioning Yeti on Expedition Everest (which was touted as the most advanced state of the art Audio-Animatronic at the time), The highly hyped New Fantasyland (which suffered from a slashed budget, and a new family roller-coaster that took around four years to build. In the lands defense, the area is indeed very visually pleasing). It seems that Disney's new motto is :The less we have to spend, the better.

As sad as it is to say, I can completely understand Disney's new brand of non-logic. Even with Universal continuing to pummel Disney into the ground with USO's new found quality, Disney hasn't even attempted to fight back. The reasoning would seem to be: "Why should we have to spend any money? We're Disney, people are always going to come back to us because we have the power of nostalgia on our sides." It saddens me that Disney seems more than content to sit on their laurels and laugh at us fans. It is true that currently Disney is working on creating an Avatarland (Avatar, a property that has already grown stale) in Animal Kingdom, and while the concept art looks amazing I can't help but feel that the land will suffer from the same slashed budget that New Fantasyland did (just look at Beast's castle's concept art compared to what we actually got...so disappointing. There is a reason that the restaurant inside went from taking place inside his castle, to instead just being inspired by the film).

Anyways, Disney seems very big to jump into big fads and milk them cows for all their worth. Disney's newest and fattest cow is a little film called Frozen. Originally, I had counted myself as one of the film's fans but now with how over-saturated it has become in our culture (the amount of times Let It Go has been played on the radio is just ridiculous), I have done a complete 180. I don't really care for the film anymore, just the mention of it makes me feel a bit queasy. Disney, naturally, has jumped on the Frozen bandwagon. They quickly introduced a Frozen character meet and greet (the wait times for Anna and Elsa would stay consistently at well over 300 minutes), then a Frozen Summer Fun at Hollywood Studios (consisting of an indoor Frozen play area, a sing-along show, and even a special fireworks show. The Frozen Summer Fun has now been extended through September 28), and now....Frozen: THE RIDE (formerly known as Maelstrom).

That's right, Disney has made the BOLD (and DUMB) decision to replace one of their classic attractions with a Frozen ride. Details about the ride are scarce, the press release states: "The new attraction, which replaces Maelstrom, will take guests to Arendelle and immerse them in many of their favorite moments and music from the film." From that brief description, many fans have speculated that the new Frozen ride will be nothing more than a quick (and permanent) overlay of Maelstrom, meaning that the ride's layout and track will be exactly the same, except the cool scenes inside will be replaced with lame scenes from Frozen. I'm not expecting much to be spent on the ride (especially since it's supposed to be open sometime early 2016). Along with this, Disney has also announced that it is adding Frozen characters into their Christmas festivities including Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party (where Elsa will ice over Cinderella's castle every night) and Mickey's Once Upon A Christmastime Parade.

EPCOT stands for Experimental Prototype Community Of Tomorrow. World Showcase was built to educate people about (and promote business for) other countries around the world including Mexico, Norway, Morocco, England, China, Germany, Italy, The US, Japan, France, and Canada. So, tell me: How exactly does a Frozen ride promote travel to Norway? The short and simple answer is: It doesn't. This is just Disney carelessly cashing in on the latest fad. Eventually Frozen's popularity will dim, and then we will be left with a lame ride where a cool ride used to stand. Maybe Disney will surprise everyone for a change and churn out a really cool, brand new experience for guests to enjoy.....but I can't help but be a bit skeptical. With the current state of things over at "The Happiest Place on Earth", can you really blame me?

Maelstrom's last day of operation will be October 5, 2014 so if you want to go say your goodbyes, the sooner the better.

Till then, consider yourself BUGGED!

SEPTEMBER IS THE MONTH OF ADVENTURE!

Now, what ever could that head line mean? Well, in a little over a month I will be making the trek back to Universal Studios Orlando and Islands of Adventure. By the time I arrive it will have been around ten months since I last stepped foot into the property. While that may not seem all that long, remember in college I would often travel there at least once a month, often much more than that. For me, it's been a while. To celebrate, Throughout the month of September I will be posting reviews of some of my favorite Universal and Islands of Adventure rides. So, buckle your seat belt and hang onto that lap bar, because my first review should be posted shortly. HUZZAH!