OSCAR SUNDAY

HELLO ALL!!!! It's Thursday when I write this, but like every movie fan all I can think about right now is Sunday. Why? Well, because Sunday (as all of you should know) is THE OSCARS!!!!! While I felt that this year The Oscars really showed how out of touch they currently are with things, I'm still going to take a look at some of the nominations and make my picks. Ready? or not! Here they come!!! MY 2014 OSCAR PICKS!!!!

Let's get the ball a-rollin' with BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY. 

The nominees are: Birdman, Boyhood, Foxcatcher, The Grand Budapest Hotel, and Nightcrawler.

My Pick: NIGHTCRAWLER (Dan Gilroy)!!!! This film had a fantastic script that painted a realistic portrait of the morally slippery times we currently live in. It's protagonist is a complete sociopath who finds refuge in the media obsessed culture we currently live in. It's a film that condemns the current state of our culture, but at the same time gives us a slimy protagonist that I, for whatever reason, felt compelled to root for (mainly because although he is not a nice guy, he still works his butt off to get to where he is by the end of the film. Just goes to show that hard work and perseverance pays off). 

Next up: BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

The Nominees are: American Sniper, The Imitation Game, Inherent Vice, The Theory of Everything, and Whiplash.

My Pick: GONE GIRL (Gillian Flynn)!!!!!! Yes, I am not afraid to break the rules every now and then, and you will see this throughout this post. Gone Girl had a fantastic script by Gillian Flynn, which she adapted from her novel (which was also fantastic). I can't imagine why The Oscars chose to snub her, but ultimately it's them that miss out in the long run. Flynn clearly knows how to write, and she definitely deserves this award. (If I had to choose one of the nominees I would definitely go with Whiplash).

VISUAL EFFECTS

The Nominees are: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Dawn of The Planets of The Apes, Guardians of The Galaxy, Interstellar, and X-Men: Days of Future Past.

My Pick: DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, Daniel Barrett and Erik Winquist)!!! Because Andy Serkis as Ceaser wins every day. I would imagine this would be a natural shoo-in at The Oscars as well.

PRODUCTION DESIGN

The Nominees are: The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Imitation Game, Interstellar, Into The Woods, and Mr. Turner.

My Pick: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL ( Adam Stockhausen and Anna Pinnock)!!! This film managed to craft an intricate and absolutely gorgeous fantasy world, to the point where you could honestly spend the whole film just watching the sets and backgrounds, and still walk out completely satisfied. 

BEST ORIGINAL SONG

The Nominees are: Everything Is Awesome (The LEGO Movie), Glory (Selma), Grateful (Beyond The Lights), I'm Not Gonna Miss You (Glen Campbell...I'll Be Me), and Lost Stars (Begin Again).

My Pick: EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!! A delightful, infectious virus that is sure to get stuck in your noggin for quite some time (for cryin' out loud, I'm still humming the damn thing). What's most interesting though, is that apparently it was born from a nasty break-up. Who would'a thunk it?!

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE 

The Nominees are: The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Imitation Game, Interstellar, Mr. Turner, and The Theory of Everything.

My Pick: WHIPLASH (John Hurwitz, John Wasson, Justin Hurwitz, Stan Getz, Nicholas Britell and Tim Simonec) !!!! I suppose this was snubbed becuase so many people worked on this the Academy didn't know who to credit for it. That said, that doesn't change the fact that this is still the best original score that reminded me how great of a musical genre jazz can be. (If I had to choose one of the nominees I would go with The Grand Budapest Hotel)

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIR STYLING

The Nominees are: Foxcatcher, The Grand Budapest Hotel, and Guardians of The Galaxy

My Pick: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (Francis Hannon and Mark Coulier!!!There's not much I really have to add here....moving on...

FILM EDITING

The Nominees are: American Sniper, Boyhood, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Imitation Game, and Whiplash.

My Pick: WHIPLASH (Tom Cross)!!! The editing in the film helps add to the tension of the film, assisting with the overall tone and pacing as well.

BEST DIRECTING

The Nominees are: Birdman (Alejandro G. Inarritu), Boyhood (Richard Linklater), Foxcatcher (Bennett Miller), The Grand Budapest Hotel (Wes Anderson), and The Imitation Game (Morton Tyldum).

My Pick: BIRDMAN (Alejandro G Inarritu)!!!!!!! I say Alejandro is the real star of Birdman. You can feel his fingerprints all over the film. Without him, Birdman would not be the super-cool film it is today!

COSTUME DESIGN

The Nominees are: The Grand Budapest Hotel, Inherent Vice, Into The Woods, Maleficent, and Mr. Turner.

My Pick: THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (Milena Canonero)!!!!! This goes hand and hand with Best Production Design. The costumes are beautifully realized and fit in with the time periood and fantasy world this film is set in. Like the production design, the costumes are gorgeous!

And now.....we get to THE BIG ONES!

CINEMATOGRAPHY

The Nominees are: Birdman, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Ida, Mr. Turner, and Unbroken.

My Pick: BIRDMAN (Emmanuel Lubezki)!!!! The whole film looks exquisite, managing to turn nall of NYC into a stage. I also love how the whole film looks like it is all done in one single shot. With the unique cinematography choices, Birdman manages to look like a bizarre, surreal masterpiece.

BEST ANIMATED FILM

The Nominees are: Big Hero 6, The Boxtrolls, How To Train Your Dragon 2, Song of The Sea, and The Tale of Princess Kaguya.

My Pick: THE LEGO MOVIE (Phil Lord and Chris Miller) !!!!!! How in the world (and WHY in the world) the Academy chose to snub this film is a complete mystery. But it ain't fair!!! The LEGO Movie took what could have been a giant, poorly done kids' toy commercial and added actual meaning, depth, and characters to it. The film looks freaking gorgeous, the little LEGO characters are freakin adorable, and it's one of the funniest films of 2014! How in the world the mediocre and pandering Big Hero 6 beat out LEGO Movie for a nomination is beyond me. Clearly, Phil Lord and Chris Miller were robbed. If the winners had any decency they would hand that award over to Phil and Miller. (I Guess if I HAD to choose one of the nominees I'd go with How To Train Your Dragon 2).

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

The Nominees are: Patricia Arquette (Boyhood), Laura Dern (Wild), Kiera Knightley (The Imitation Game), Emma Stone (Birdman),and  Meryl Streep (Into The Woods).

My Pick: EMMA STONE (Birdman)!!!!! Ms. Stone has always been a fantastic actress, and she actually gets to spread her wings here a bit for a change!

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

The Nominees are: Robert Duvall (The Judge), Ethane Hawke (Boyhood), Edward Norton (Birdman), Mark Ruffalo (Foxcatcher), and J.K. Simmons (Whiplash).

My Pick: J.K. SIMMONS (Whiplash)!!!!!!! Imagine J.J. Jameson, Gnry. Sgt. Hartman and Gordon Ramsey were thrown together in a blender. That's essentially J.K. Simmons' Fletcher in Whiplash. Simmons plays The Devil as a flesh and blood, three dimensional character with some soul. We hate him, but we understand why he is doing what he is doing. Fletcher wants to be the one to discover (or create) the next big jazz musician and he is willing to crush anyone and everyone who gets in his way,. He does some truly terrible and despicable things in the film, but with the intent for good. I'd go so far as to say his is the best performance PERIOD this year!

BEST ACTRESS

The Nominees are: Marion Cotillard (Two Days, One Night), Felicity Jones (The Theory of Everything), Julianne Moore (Still Alice), Rosamund Pike (Gone Girl), and Reese Witherspoon (Wild).

My Pick: ROSAMUND PIKE (GONE GIRL)!!!! Pike plays a considerably different character from what we are used to seeing her as. She is a complete homicidal psycho here and she is terrifying. It's easy to hate her, and she serves the films plot extremely well, perfectly embodying one of the film's central themes: How well can you really know your significant other? It's a brilliant performance, and she deserves the Oscar.

BEST ACTOR:

The Nominees are: Steve Carell (Foxcatcher), Bradley Cooper (American Sniper), Benedict Cumberbatch (The Imitation Game), Michael Keaton (Birdman), and Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything).

Let me just point out that The Oscars made a mistake in snubbing David Oyelowo (pronounced Oh-Yellow-Woah). First off: the man is British, but in Selma he not only takes on a perfect American accent, he also manages to sound exactly like MLK. When speaking he puts the emphasis and inflections on exactly the right words and parts of words, just like MLK would do. His mannerisms also perfectly replicate that of MLK's. However, he's not just an imitation of impersonation of the man, Oyelowo IS MLK. He portrays the legend as a man just like every one else, complete with flaws and internal struggles. He is completely captivating, and he deserved at LEAST a nod. With that out of the way, let's move on to.... 

My Pick: JAKE GYLLENHAAL (Nightcrawler). Gyllenhaal proves something I have always known: He is a superb actor. He plays a complete sociopath, and it is impossible to tear your eyes away from him every second he is on screen. He completely owns every scene he is in and every line of dialogue he speaks. He creates a scary, intense character that is always a joy to watch.  It's a damn shame he was snubbed, and it is just further proof of how out of touch with the times The Oscars are today. (While we're at it, I don't think Michael Keaton deserves the win here, as I would consider it akin to James Franco winning for his role in This Is The End. Keaton plays his role well, but is essentially a parody of himself, so I don't think he qualifies. Just my opinion. If I had to choose one of the nominees I would go with Cumberbatch.).

BEST MOVIE

The Nominees are: American Sniper, Birdman, Boyhood, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Imitation Game, Selma, The Theory of Everything, and Whiplash.

I could break the rules and say NIGHTCRAWLER because it really was the best film of 2014, but I won't. Instead, I'm going to change things up a bit...but before I do I just want to point out that both Gone Girl and Nightcrawler were snubbed for Best Picture....both of which were without a doubt two of the best films of 2014. Way to keep your finger on the pulse of film Oscars.

anyways, My Pick: SELMA!!!!! Out of all the nominees, I really do feel that Selma was the best. It was the film that brought me closest to bawling like a baby, not to mention it is a pretty important film about the terrible things people did to others all under the belief that whites were automatically superior to blacks.....just cuz. Selma portrays a terrible time where people thought men were NOT created equal, and it paints a realistic and devastating portrait of the Black Civil Rights Movement. The film is emotionally exhausting, but it is well worth your time. It is The Academy's job to celebrate and recognize important films, and I'd say this is the most important nominee this year and yes, it deserves that Oscar.

Here's an extra award for y'all: My Breakthrough Actor Award!!!!!

The Winner is Dan Stevens in The Guest. Stevens is a fairly unknown British actor, probably best known for his role in Downton Abbey. In The Guest he plays "David", a recently released soldier who makes the trek to a family's house who are currently mourning the death of their son, who died in the war and just happened to be "David's" best friend. He is there to fulfill a promise he made on the son's deathbed: That he would check up on the family and make sure they are all right. Naturally they are not, and so "David" sets about assisting them and helping them get back on their feet. There's only one problem: "David" may be a psychopath.  Stevens easily runs away with this film. He does some pretty bad things, but he's so darned likable I couldn't stop rooting for him. The Guest shows off this young actor's natural acting ability and may prove a gateway vehicle for bigger and better things for Stevens down the road (let's hope so).

So, there you have it. My Oscar Picks. I hope you all enjoyed this post, and I hope that maybe it made you think and challenged some of your own personal picks. Thanks for reading, and I'll see YOU on Oscar Sunday!

SMALLS SEES FIFTY SHADES OF SHIT

HEAVY SPOILERS FOLLOW


Fifty Shades of Grey is the story of Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), who covers a journalist assignment for a friend that involves interviewing mysterious billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Inexplicably, the two almost immediately fall for each other and it isn't long before Anastasia finds herself whisked into a dark world that she isn't sure she really wants anything to do with.

Let's start with the good.  First off, both Dakota and Jamie are attractive in the film and they do look good naked. It's clear both are trying to give their roles their all, but the film, the source material, and the script gives them just about zip to work with. The film itself is adequately shot, it definitely looks like a movie (though I would argue it's not a movie at all. There is no character development, almost zero plot, and the script is just bad).   There are also a few good song choices within the film.  Unfortunately, that's about it for the good.

Now, onto the bad...and boy is there a lot to talk about here. Let's begin with the characters. Johnson's Anastasia Steele is a very weak character, who exists solely as a play thing for the men that surround her. They push her to and fro, and she doesn't seem to be all that bothered by this (her best friend even tries to take advantage of her in one scene). Ms. Steele is essentially a beautiful flower left on the street, constantly trampled upon by the men in her life. It's a sad portrait of a woman who is supposed to represent the every girl. Dornan's Mr. Grey doesn't fare much better. He is a blank slate with little to no character. Christian Grey is a billionaire with serial killer-like predilections (what exactly his self-founded company does is never explained, sadly). He is  portrayed as an expert predator who also happens to be "50 shades of fucked up" (imagine Buffalo Bill if he was a handsome billionaire).  Both characters are reprehensible in their own ways, and I found it hard to like either of them.

Our two unlikeable leads do wind up falling for each other, but we are never given a reason or explanation as to why. Both have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and it's hard to see why either would like the other. Grey continually stalks Anastasia (even going so far as to follow her from Seattle to Georgia, showing up unannounced at a party her parents are throwing. He's a real creeper.). He proclaims to love her, but his actions tell a far different, and more disturbing story. He is in love with the feeling of being in control, and there's something about her mousiness (if she is a mouse, then he is the hawk) that brings out the absolute worst in him. He isn't romantically attracted to her (it's even questionable if he's physically attracted to her), he wants to own her and control her. He wants her to be his completely, and even says as much in a few scenes. He tries to win her over with expensive gifts like a brand new car  (he tows away her old car and sells it without her permission), a ride in a helicopter and an airplane, and her own room in his swanky bachelor pad (where he has previously tried and failed to woo 15 other women).

I suppose one could argue that Anastasia chooses to get involved with Grey because she intends to unravel the mystery of who this man is and what makes him tick. That said it's hard to understand why she doesn't run the other way when he makes clear who he is, what he's into, and what he intends to do to her. Both characters goals in this film are to change the other: She wants him to be a normal person (something that is clear will never happen, no matter how badly the film wants us to believe that all he needs is the healing touch of a woman), and he wants her to submit herself to him and his will completely (something that she reluctantly goes along with, though the reasons why are never clear. Every sign screams at her to run FAR AWAY from this psycho, yet she keeps traveling deeper into his sadistic world).

There are a good number of sex scenes, though only three take place in the "red room of pain" and those occur in the last 40 or so minutes of the film. I've never seen a film try so hard to be sexy, and fail so miserably. This has got to be the most non-sexy film I have seen. It doesn't help that we don't like these characters, and that we don't buy their relationship for a second.

Here I was thinking we were living in a progressive age, where gender roles and the way we think about women were beginning to change. Apparently I was wrong, how else could you explain this film's success at the box office and how millions of women are proclaiming that they love this. I honestly am dumbfounded, I guess we still have a long way to go and films like this certainly aren't helping things. I was one of the most vocal opponents to this film, I encouraged people to boycott it. Imagine my surprise to learn my stance was too soft, the appropriate response to films like this would be riots in the street. Everyone involved with the making of this film should be ashamed, and EL James should be cast out of society for making the awful book this movie was based on (and what's worse, we're likely to get three more films if not more, making this a Fifty Shades franchise. I expect each film to make untold amounts of money at the box office...depressingly).

Fifty Shades of Grey is a film that promotes gender roles and backwards thinking. It's depiction of BDSM and the relationship between a dom and a sub is both abhorrent and completely false. It's a film that treats women like they are objects, and acts like it's ok for men to beat them and say horribly degrading things to them (because according to the film deep down women actually love being treated like this.....GAG). The script is awful, the characters are reprehensible, and the scenes of sex are considerably not sexy. I suppose the only way to properly look at this film without losing one's mind is as a tale of the ultimate toxic relationship, and looked at as such it's got a surprisingly happy ending where the mouse learns to stand up for herself, say no, and leave the sadistic bastard although proceeding films are likely to fuck this up with her continually running back for more. In the end, Fifty Shades of Grey is so much worse than I thought it would be. It's an insulting, disgusting film That is both Sexist and Misogynist. It actually made me more sad and upset than it did angry. If you have so much as a brain cell to your name, you would stay far away from this film and it's sequels and would refuse to give it your hard earned dollar. Women deserve far better than this film and others like it.

0.5 STARS

SMALLS BUSTS A MOVE WITH KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I proudly present the first great film of 2015.

Kingsman: The Secret Service follows Gary "Eggsy" Unwin (Taron Egerton), a street hoodlum with a heart of gold who was on his way to making a fine Marine until he flushed it all away to take care of his mom and baby sister. Fate comes a-knocking in the form of Galahad (Colin Firth), who whisks Eggsy away from his simple and unhappy life to begin training for recruitment in an age old spy agency known as The Kingsman. Eggsy's recruitment couldn't have come at a better time, as billionaire tech whiz Richmond Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson) is about to commence an evil plan to potentially save the Earth by doing away with most of the human population and Eggsy may be the only one able to stop him.

Colin Firth is clearly relishing his role here as one of the top Kingsman agents who acts as recruiter and close friend to Egerton's Eggsy.  Firth has his own share of cool action scenes, and one of them that he is the center of is easily one of the most memorable action scenes in years. He is a pretty great, memorable, and bad-ass character (watching him here, it's hard to believe that this man was to be the original voice for Paddington in that bear's newest film). Egerton himself is a fresh face and manages to impress as the hero of our action-adventure. Naturally he has many action scenes to his name and he shines in every one of them. Not only does Egerton potentially have a future career as an action star, he also makes for a likable hero and proves that he is a natural actor. He's definitely got the charm. Mark Strong plays a good guy for a change as The kinsman's tech wizard Merlin, and the super hot Sophie Cookson makes a good impression as fellow spy Roxy. It's also interesting that Mark Hamill makes a very brief appearance here as a British college professor.

Samuel L. Jackson plays the evil villain of our film, Richmond Valentine. Valentine is a lisping, violence-avoidant, hip, techy billionaire who has some very nasty plans up his sleeve for the human population of Earth. The day on which he plans to set his scheme in motion he has dubbed V-Day (like Valentine's Day, ironic considering what his Valentine's Day is to consist of). I relished getting to watch Jackson play against type in a very non-Sam Jackson type role. Every single scene he appears in he easily runs away with. Although he is clearly a very bad guy, I couldn't help but fall jn love with Richmond. Even when he's playing the ultimate non-bad-ass, Samuel Jackson is still all kinds of awesome and this is easily his best recent role, not to mention he easily disappears into his character.

The film is directed by Matthew Vaughn, who also directed Kick-Ass and X-Men: First Class. This guy has proven that he knows how to direct action films, and in his hands this film is all kinds of naughty, ultra-violent fun. The film itself also has that signature Vaughn Comic book shine and polish to it (I'd say the film actually looks a little too clean and polished honestly).  I would go so far as to say this is likely Vaughn's best film.

Kingsman is a hip new spy film, and it is a bit meta as it openly comments and plays with the way spy films of old worked and functioned. It also can act as a guide on how to be a gentleman, and uses The Knights of The Round Table as inspiration (characters are also codenamed to the characters in Arthurian legend: Michael Caine plays Arthur, Colin Firth plays Galahad, Mark Strong plays Merlin, and Jack Davenport plays Lancelot). The film itself has some of the most memorable action scenes in years, three of which are set to the tunes of Lynrd Skynrd's Free Bird, KC and The Sunshine Band's Give It Up, and a Pomp and Circumstance (The ending of the film is perfect as well, plus there is a scene that deals appropriately with Westboro Baptist). If that alone doesn't get you to sign up for this film, then there is no hope for you. That said, for myself Kingsman was exactly what I was looking for. It's a chaotic, ultra-violent, fun time at your local theater that only gets better as the minutes tick by.

5 STARS