HEAVY SPOILERS FOLLOW
Fifty Shades of Grey is the story of Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson), who covers a journalist assignment for a friend that involves interviewing mysterious billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). Inexplicably, the two almost immediately fall for each other and it isn't long before Anastasia finds herself whisked into a dark world that she isn't sure she really wants anything to do with.
Let's start with the good. First off, both Dakota and Jamie are attractive in the film and they do look good naked. It's clear both are trying to give their roles their all, but the film, the source material, and the script gives them just about zip to work with. The film itself is adequately shot, it definitely looks like a movie (though I would argue it's not a movie at all. There is no character development, almost zero plot, and the script is just bad). There are also a few good song choices within the film. Unfortunately, that's about it for the good.
Now, onto the bad...and boy is there a lot to talk about here. Let's begin with the characters. Johnson's Anastasia Steele is a very weak character, who exists solely as a play thing for the men that surround her. They push her to and fro, and she doesn't seem to be all that bothered by this (her best friend even tries to take advantage of her in one scene). Ms. Steele is essentially a beautiful flower left on the street, constantly trampled upon by the men in her life. It's a sad portrait of a woman who is supposed to represent the every girl. Dornan's Mr. Grey doesn't fare much better. He is a blank slate with little to no character. Christian Grey is a billionaire with serial killer-like predilections (what exactly his self-founded company does is never explained, sadly). He is portrayed as an expert predator who also happens to be "50 shades of fucked up" (imagine Buffalo Bill if he was a handsome billionaire). Both characters are reprehensible in their own ways, and I found it hard to like either of them.
Our two unlikeable leads do wind up falling for each other, but we are never given a reason or explanation as to why. Both have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and it's hard to see why either would like the other. Grey continually stalks Anastasia (even going so far as to follow her from Seattle to Georgia, showing up unannounced at a party her parents are throwing. He's a real creeper.). He proclaims to love her, but his actions tell a far different, and more disturbing story. He is in love with the feeling of being in control, and there's something about her mousiness (if she is a mouse, then he is the hawk) that brings out the absolute worst in him. He isn't romantically attracted to her (it's even questionable if he's physically attracted to her), he wants to own her and control her. He wants her to be his completely, and even says as much in a few scenes. He tries to win her over with expensive gifts like a brand new car (he tows away her old car and sells it without her permission), a ride in a helicopter and an airplane, and her own room in his swanky bachelor pad (where he has previously tried and failed to woo 15 other women).
I suppose one could argue that Anastasia chooses to get involved with Grey because she intends to unravel the mystery of who this man is and what makes him tick. That said it's hard to understand why she doesn't run the other way when he makes clear who he is, what he's into, and what he intends to do to her. Both characters goals in this film are to change the other: She wants him to be a normal person (something that is clear will never happen, no matter how badly the film wants us to believe that all he needs is the healing touch of a woman), and he wants her to submit herself to him and his will completely (something that she reluctantly goes along with, though the reasons why are never clear. Every sign screams at her to run FAR AWAY from this psycho, yet she keeps traveling deeper into his sadistic world).
There are a good number of sex scenes, though only three take place in the "red room of pain" and those occur in the last 40 or so minutes of the film. I've never seen a film try so hard to be sexy, and fail so miserably. This has got to be the most non-sexy film I have seen. It doesn't help that we don't like these characters, and that we don't buy their relationship for a second.
Here I was thinking we were living in a progressive age, where gender roles and the way we think about women were beginning to change. Apparently I was wrong, how else could you explain this film's success at the box office and how millions of women are proclaiming that they love this. I honestly am dumbfounded, I guess we still have a long way to go and films like this certainly aren't helping things. I was one of the most vocal opponents to this film, I encouraged people to boycott it. Imagine my surprise to learn my stance was too soft, the appropriate response to films like this would be riots in the street. Everyone involved with the making of this film should be ashamed, and EL James should be cast out of society for making the awful book this movie was based on (and what's worse, we're likely to get three more films if not more, making this a Fifty Shades franchise. I expect each film to make untold amounts of money at the box office...depressingly).
Fifty Shades of Grey is a film that promotes gender roles and backwards thinking. It's depiction of BDSM and the relationship between a dom and a sub is both abhorrent and completely false. It's a film that treats women like they are objects, and acts like it's ok for men to beat them and say horribly degrading things to them (because according to the film deep down women actually love being treated like this.....GAG). The script is awful, the characters are reprehensible, and the scenes of sex are considerably not sexy. I suppose the only way to properly look at this film without losing one's mind is as a tale of the ultimate toxic relationship, and looked at as such it's got a surprisingly happy ending where the mouse learns to stand up for herself, say no, and leave the sadistic bastard although proceeding films are likely to fuck this up with her continually running back for more. In the end, Fifty Shades of Grey is so much worse than I thought it would be. It's an insulting, disgusting film That is both Sexist and Misogynist. It actually made me more sad and upset than it did angry. If you have so much as a brain cell to your name, you would stay far away from this film and it's sequels and would refuse to give it your hard earned dollar. Women deserve far better than this film and others like it.
0.5 STARS
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