In Yoga Hosers, high school sophomores and BFFs Colleen Collette (Lily-Rose Depp) and Colleen McKenzie (Harley Quinn Smith) are clerks working a 7-11-esque store in Canada called the Eh to Zed. In their off time they perform in their own amateur band and enjoy doing faux yoga (with the help of Justin Long as their instructor, Yogi Bayer). When Andronicus Arcane (a hundred + year old Canadian Nazi played by Ralph Garman)) reappears with a dozen miniature minions named Bratzis (Kevin Smith) , it's up to the Colleens and Guy Lapointe (Johnny Depp) to save their fair land and critics everywhere.
Both Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith actually do good jobs here, and Johnny Depp gets more mileage out of his tired Guy LaPointe character than he did in Tusk (He's nowhere near as grating, awful or annoying as he was in the previous film). Yoga Hosers is (surprisingly) a direct sequel to Tusk. We don't see any of the other characters from that film here (though some of the actors from that film are given roles here), but the events from that film are mentioned occasionally. Kevin Smith actually is chuckle-worthy at times as the Bratzis, and Ralph Garman is called upon to do celebrity impersonation after celebrity impersonation (His schtick gets old and grating). Even poor Stan Lee and Kevin Conroy (Batman from the animated series) do quick cameos here.
While it can be funny at times, Yoga Hosers can also be super annoying. A good example would be the Instagram spoof (Called Instacan....get it? Cuz we're in Canada) that keeps rearing it's head every few minutes during the first 30 minutes of the film. It's constant, annoying, is used for lazy exposition, and comes across like Kevin Smith (once again) lacks self control (a running theme in his more recent films). There's also A LOT of fake Canadian accents and the word 'boot keeps popping up (IT'S NOT FUNNY!!! STOP IT!!). The villain's main plan here involves using his Bratzi's to destroy every single critic in the world (or maybe just Canada, it's really not explained all that well) because they shunned earlier art he had made. Yes, it's clear that part of this film is Kevin Smith's attempt at a FUCK YOU to any critic that had looked down at his previous work (Yes, I belong to that group. Fuck you right back Smith). Guy LaPointe even says that the villain's plan isn't so bad because he's not going to be killing real people (Once again, fuck you Smith).
The bottom line is that Yoga Hosers is not a good film. It can be entertaining and funny at times, and our three main leads all do fine jobs, but a good deal of the material is still annoying and just not good. I imagine I'm not going to be quite as harsh on this film as other critics will be. The truth is, despite it's numerous flaws, I still enjoyed my time with Yoga Hosers (I found myself laughing more than I did not). This is more of an ultra-goofy, ultra-silly, ultra-campy comedy than anything else (Imagine Clerks starring phone-obsessed millenials and goofy monsters. It's Clerks, but also definitely isn't Clerks). You aren't supposed to take any of this film seriously, and that is (surprisingly) a plus.
1.5 STARS
I Definitely liked it more than Tusk
Lily-Rose Depp speaks French with her dad for one scene, and my heart went all aflutter. I LOVE the French language (So beautiful!).
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