Uncut Gems is the story of Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler), the owner of a high-price, independently owned jewelry store in NYC in 2012. When we first meet him, his life has started a downward spiral that only gets worse as the film continues. He is in the middle of a nasty break-up with his wife, Dinah (Idina Menzel), has been screwing a gorgeous employee of his, Julia (Julia Fox), and has been scrambling to re-pay some vicious loan sharks, Arno (Eric Bogosian), Phil (Keith Williams Richards), and Nico (Tommy Kominik). When Howard comes into possession of a rock filled with uncut Opals, he sees a way out of his predicament. Unfortunately, the rock is swiped and Howard has to scramble to find a way to retrieve it.
Idina Menzel is a lot of fun as Howards' pissed-off housewife, Dinah, who is trying to break-up with him throughout the film. It's clear that she is tired of him and his ways, and the looks she continually gives Howard are hilarious (if looks could kill!). Julia Fox plays the drop-dead gorgeous Julia, an employee of Howard's jewelry store that he has been sleeping with on the side. She's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, but is sweet, sexy, and very fond of Howard. She lights up the screen whenever she is on. Before Uncut Gems, Julia Fox was a photographer and model, and this is her first acting gig (You would never guess, she is brilliant here). Kevin Garnett is very entertaining as himself. He is obsessed with Howard's rock, and seems to think it has magical powers (hence why he swipes it). The whole cast does a fantastic job, but make no mistake, this is the Adam Sandler show, and he shines here like it's nobodies business.
Adam Sandler plays our protagonist, Howard, one of the best characters of 2019. Howard is very unlucky, but this is due in large part to his inability to make good decisions. He is awful with money, and tends to immediately spend whatever cash he is able to get his hands on. Howard also has no issues with conning, scamming, and lying to people if he feels the situation calls for it. He is a fairly selfish person, but is still very likable and entertaining (He feels like someone you would meet in real life). Howard is continually shit-on and disrespected by everyone he comes into contact with (from his wife, to a buddy of his played by Lakeith Stanfield, to Kevin Garnett, etc). While it's not like he doesn't deserve the treatment, it's hard not to feel bad for the guy all the same. Sandler throws himself into the role with gusto, and takes a sleazy character and makes him immensely likable. It's not hard to root for Howard to find a way out of the various messes he entangles himself in. This is easily Sandler's best performance to date, and he is downright magnetic here. It's like he's on a whole 'nother level.
It's not very often that you come across a film that you know is special right from the opening scenes, but Uncut Gems is special indeed. The cinematography by Darius Khondji is psychedelic at times and consistently impressive. The score by Daniel Lopatin is unlike anything I have heard in a movie theater in quite some time. The compositions are otherworldly, gorgeous, and can literally make you feel like you are floating out of your seat, like you're being elevated/transported to something/somewhere greater. Yes, this is easily the best score to a film this year.
Ronald Bronstein and Benny Safdie were in charge of editing, and it's frenetic and fast-paced. Sound editing was done by Helmut Scherz, Skip Lievsay, Anton Gold, and Chris Chae (among many others). The sound design is fantastic, there are plenty of parts where characters are talking or yelling over each other and it gets confused or hard to make out. Ordinarily, this would be considered a negative but for whatever reason the decision really works here. It fits the tone and style of the film, and makes those scenes feel that much more real.
Uncut Gems is directed and written by Josh and Benny Safdie (with Ronald Bronstein assisting with the script). The film has a manic energy throughout, and is fast-paced and filled with anxiety and tension (though I would say the anxiety was more intense in the Safdie Bros. previous film, 'Good Time'.). There are plenty of scenes where your stomach turns to knots and you start to feel sick. This is one of the few times a film succeeds in doing this not with visuals, but with the way scenes play out. It's not easy to watch Howard's attempts to dig himself out of the hole he is stuck in continually fall on their face, or to have his attempts just make things even worse. The script is also sharp and can cut like a knife. Don't let all this fool you though, as Uncut Gems is often quite hilarious and fun.
Uncut Gems is another masterpiece from A24. It doesn't feel like anything you have seen before. It's about basketball, gems, money, bad decisions, and the all-consuming desire for more. It's fun, hilarious, entertaining, tension-filled, anxiety-inducing, and plays more like an experiential film than anything else. The talent behind and in front of the camera is undeniable. Uncut Gems is easily the most entertaining film of 2019, and is an absolute blast that is best seen in a theater. It's definitely one of the best films of 2019.
5 STARS
Thursday, December 26, 2019
Saturday, December 21, 2019
RISE OF SKYWALKER IS A DEEPLY DISAPPOINTING END TO AN IMPORTANT, CULTURALLY SIGNIFICANT FRANCHISE
In Rise of Skywalker, the galaxy is in chaos yet again. The Resistance and The First Order have both received transmissions/messages from Emperor Palpatine (Ian Mcdiarmid, reprising the role), who somehow appears to still be very much alive after the events of Return of The Jedi. Kylo goes all out in his quest to find Palpatine, fully prepared to put an end to anything or anyone that might challenge his newfound leadership. Meanwhile, The Resistance have been receiving information from a spy entrenched deep inside The First Order. With the information, Rey (Daisy Ridley), Poe (Oscar Isaac), and Finn (John Boyega) go off on a mission that could help them finally gain the upper hand in the ongoing battle between light and dark.
It's been 42 years (it feels longer than that), but the Skywalker saga is coming to an end. What started with a young dreamer name Luke stuck on a desert planet, ends with a young scavenger named Rey who is searching for her purpose , who she is, and ultimately which side she will fight on. The Star Wars films have taken us all on one hell of an emotional roller-coaster ride. Now, Rise of Skywalker brings us in for a bumpy landing (and that's putting it politely).
Despite what JJ Abrams and Kathleen Kennedy might say, after watching Rise of Skywalker it becomes painfully clear that the powers that be had no clear end goal, road map, or game plan for the new trilogy, instead choosing to just wing it all the way. Is it no wonder each film feels so different from the other two? (Rise of Skywalker in particular feels like it's set in an entirely different galaxy from the other films. It feels disconnected to from what came before).
The first Star Wars (Star War: A New Hope) was supposed to be a one-off thing, but after it made cash hand-over-fist and they got the green light for two more films, from Empire Strikes Back onwards everything felt planned out in advance, there was a clear goal they were heading for. The prequels (which are still decidedly not good), were absolutely planned out in advance. Those films went in different directions and took risks, which didn't always pay off. Unfortunately, Disney's decision to hop into a new trilogy with absolutely no idea about where they were going or what they wanted to do only hurt what could have been an excellent new trilogy. They took what could have been a fantastic and memorable ending to the Skywalker saga, and turned it into something subpar. Say what you will about Last Jedi, but at least it had a master director behind the camera. It took us in bold, exciting new directions and refused to provide us any easy answers. It didn't coddle long-time fans, and that pissed many off. This brings us to Rise of Skywalker.
After how divisive Last Jedi was, Disney decided to hire the man who opened the door into the new trilogy, JJ Abrams (I still think Force Awakens ain't bad btw), to direct the final outing. It seemed like a safe bet, but it blew up in all of our faces. With no real idea how to satisfyingly end a culturally important story, JJ and co-screenwriter Chris Terrio instead decided to desperately throw everything at the wall, hoping that something will stick....very little does. All the answers we receive, all the twists thrown our way, all the "surprises" (Honestly there are no surprises here) we are treated to are predictable. There is nothing new, creative, original, thrilling or exciting here. Some of the ideas and routes the film decides to go down could have been saved if tact, craft, and care went into presenting them to us...unfortunately, the execution is lazy and slap-dash (some of the ideas and routes are bad, some aren't). It feels like very little thought, passion, or love went into making this film.
After the opening title crawl, Rise of Skywalker opens with what could have been a very cool scene...instead, its sneakers are untied and it proceeds to fall directly onto its face. Rinse and repeat. The whole film is clumsy, lazy, and rushed. Right out of the gate, Rise of Skywalker zips along at a break neck speed, rarely if ever slowing down. We get very few character moments (or moments between characters), and we are never given the chance to breathe or sit back and digest what we are watching. It doesn't help that the script is embarrassingly bad (There are lots of moments of characters repeating lines. Ex: "They can fly now?!" "They can fly now!" "...They can fly now.").
It's odd to think that the man who directed Force Awakens also directed Rise of Skywalker....It feels like two different people directed each film. The JJ in Force Awakens seemed like he had a vision...like he might have had a plan, whereas the JJ in Rise of Skywalker lacks any real vision, passion, or drive. He falls back on regurgitating set pieces, themes, and arcs from previous films and by doing so confirms what many have always believed about the guy: That he lacks any real creativity or originality, and instead just relies on nostalgia, recycling/regurgitation, and the "tried-and-true" to get by.
Some of the decisions made in Skywalker lack any logic at all, like Rey being even more ridiculously over-powered than she was in Force Awakens. There's a scene where she literally stops a spaceship mid-flight just by raising her hand. The scene quickly devolves into a recycled, lesser version of the lightsaber struggle between Rey and Ren in Last Jedi. The reason Rey is so over-powered is explained in this one...but the explanation is lazy and weak, and it doesn't excuse how much Rey becomes a Mary Sue while in the hands of JJ. Finn also gets yet ANOTHER love interest. Finn started out as a character that had great potential, and has slowly become less and less interesting and less and less cool with each film. Billy Dee Williams appears once again as Lando, but very little is done with him. He's pretty much just there so we get another familiar, friendly face. What a waste of one of the cooler characters from the original trilogy. The Knights of Ren are definitely in the film a good deal, but are given very little to do. Kelly Marie Tran is back as Rose, but is barely in the film. She is essentially relegated to the background. Poe had an incredible character arc in Last Jedi that is completely walked back here. The First Order is also treated with a waving of the hand. The way they are handled here makes them look like they were never important and didn't really matter in the previous two films. The film also doesn't seem to know what to do with Hux (Dohmnall Gleeson) and basically just throws him away . For crying out loud, Skywalker can't even decide upon one explanation for what its title means. It clearly feels like it should mean or refer to one specific thing, but JJ and Terio throw in a final insulting line because they want Rey to be the hero and main character at the end of the day, thereby creating two meanings for 'Rise of Skywalker'.
Other decisions Skywalker makes are clearly done out of necessity, like Palpatine returning. It's clear he was included to serve one purpose and one purpose only. He is terribly mishandled, and only appears in around two scenes. JJ takes one of the greatest villains of all time and turns him into a joke. Carrie Fisher appears for her final performance, and it's distracting. It's clear that her lines are ripped from another film, and she always looks just a little off here.
So, yes, there is A LOT of bad to be sampled in this film...but, are there any redeeming qualities? Surprisingly...yes. The film is consistently nice to look at (thanks in large part to cinematography by Dan Mindel). Adam Driver's Kylo Ren/Ben Solo remains the strongest, most compelling, most interesting thing/person in all 3 films. He's the only character who feels like he's had an arc over the three installments. Driver brings an anger and hurt, but also a wounded vulnerability and constant self-doubt to the character that makes him likable and easy to root for, even when he is doing terrible things (Hell yes, still #TeamKylo over here). In Skywalker, Driver looks downright young and boy-ish at times, which is odd but charming. Our main trio (Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, and Oscar Isaac) all do fine acting jobs here, and their characters remain likable. Another good thing is the 3rd act. It didn't suck. It was fine and had some good moments, one of which involves an extended scene between Kylo and another character (who I won't reveal), and another scene which features Chewbacca flipping the F out (Extra: There's A LOT of fan-service moments in the third act, but most didn't bother me). There's also an adorable new little droid named D-O, who has been abused in the past and so is a little skittish around people. He almost feels like a little kid at times, and might succeed at stealing your heart. Luke gets a great scene and an awesome, perfect line that throws shade at one of the only things that felt wrong about Last Jedi. Also, the way the Skywalker saga wraps up isn't awful, but also ain't exactly satisfying either. That's it for the good folks!
In the end, Rise of Skywalker plays it painfully safe, and suffers for it. You can't help but wonder what another, more talented director that actually had a vision and passion for the film could have created here. Skywalker could have been great, it SHOULD have been great....but it isn't. It's rushed (to the point where it almost feels like JJ wants the whole thing to be over as badly as we do), lazy, and uninspired, and it lacks any creativity, originality, thrills, drive, love, or passion. It feels downright desperate, as its clear there was never any plan as to how the new trilogy would play out, leaving the powers that be to scramble to cobble together some form of ending. There is nothing new here, and it's all very predictable. As stated above, it's not all bad....but the bad still far outweighs the good. It's especially tough when you realize that this is it...there are no take-sie back-sies....this is how it all really ends for our beloved Star Wars saga and the characters that inhabit its rich galaxy. There are no second chances, you can't go back and craft a better ending. We got what we got, and it just isn't any good. Star Wars deserved better...we all do.
1.5 STARS
It's been 42 years (it feels longer than that), but the Skywalker saga is coming to an end. What started with a young dreamer name Luke stuck on a desert planet, ends with a young scavenger named Rey who is searching for her purpose , who she is, and ultimately which side she will fight on. The Star Wars films have taken us all on one hell of an emotional roller-coaster ride. Now, Rise of Skywalker brings us in for a bumpy landing (and that's putting it politely).
Despite what JJ Abrams and Kathleen Kennedy might say, after watching Rise of Skywalker it becomes painfully clear that the powers that be had no clear end goal, road map, or game plan for the new trilogy, instead choosing to just wing it all the way. Is it no wonder each film feels so different from the other two? (Rise of Skywalker in particular feels like it's set in an entirely different galaxy from the other films. It feels disconnected to from what came before).
The first Star Wars (Star War: A New Hope) was supposed to be a one-off thing, but after it made cash hand-over-fist and they got the green light for two more films, from Empire Strikes Back onwards everything felt planned out in advance, there was a clear goal they were heading for. The prequels (which are still decidedly not good), were absolutely planned out in advance. Those films went in different directions and took risks, which didn't always pay off. Unfortunately, Disney's decision to hop into a new trilogy with absolutely no idea about where they were going or what they wanted to do only hurt what could have been an excellent new trilogy. They took what could have been a fantastic and memorable ending to the Skywalker saga, and turned it into something subpar. Say what you will about Last Jedi, but at least it had a master director behind the camera. It took us in bold, exciting new directions and refused to provide us any easy answers. It didn't coddle long-time fans, and that pissed many off. This brings us to Rise of Skywalker.
After how divisive Last Jedi was, Disney decided to hire the man who opened the door into the new trilogy, JJ Abrams (I still think Force Awakens ain't bad btw), to direct the final outing. It seemed like a safe bet, but it blew up in all of our faces. With no real idea how to satisfyingly end a culturally important story, JJ and co-screenwriter Chris Terrio instead decided to desperately throw everything at the wall, hoping that something will stick....very little does. All the answers we receive, all the twists thrown our way, all the "surprises" (Honestly there are no surprises here) we are treated to are predictable. There is nothing new, creative, original, thrilling or exciting here. Some of the ideas and routes the film decides to go down could have been saved if tact, craft, and care went into presenting them to us...unfortunately, the execution is lazy and slap-dash (some of the ideas and routes are bad, some aren't). It feels like very little thought, passion, or love went into making this film.
After the opening title crawl, Rise of Skywalker opens with what could have been a very cool scene...instead, its sneakers are untied and it proceeds to fall directly onto its face. Rinse and repeat. The whole film is clumsy, lazy, and rushed. Right out of the gate, Rise of Skywalker zips along at a break neck speed, rarely if ever slowing down. We get very few character moments (or moments between characters), and we are never given the chance to breathe or sit back and digest what we are watching. It doesn't help that the script is embarrassingly bad (There are lots of moments of characters repeating lines. Ex: "They can fly now?!" "They can fly now!" "...They can fly now.").
It's odd to think that the man who directed Force Awakens also directed Rise of Skywalker....It feels like two different people directed each film. The JJ in Force Awakens seemed like he had a vision...like he might have had a plan, whereas the JJ in Rise of Skywalker lacks any real vision, passion, or drive. He falls back on regurgitating set pieces, themes, and arcs from previous films and by doing so confirms what many have always believed about the guy: That he lacks any real creativity or originality, and instead just relies on nostalgia, recycling/regurgitation, and the "tried-and-true" to get by.
Some of the decisions made in Skywalker lack any logic at all, like Rey being even more ridiculously over-powered than she was in Force Awakens. There's a scene where she literally stops a spaceship mid-flight just by raising her hand. The scene quickly devolves into a recycled, lesser version of the lightsaber struggle between Rey and Ren in Last Jedi. The reason Rey is so over-powered is explained in this one...but the explanation is lazy and weak, and it doesn't excuse how much Rey becomes a Mary Sue while in the hands of JJ. Finn also gets yet ANOTHER love interest. Finn started out as a character that had great potential, and has slowly become less and less interesting and less and less cool with each film. Billy Dee Williams appears once again as Lando, but very little is done with him. He's pretty much just there so we get another familiar, friendly face. What a waste of one of the cooler characters from the original trilogy. The Knights of Ren are definitely in the film a good deal, but are given very little to do. Kelly Marie Tran is back as Rose, but is barely in the film. She is essentially relegated to the background. Poe had an incredible character arc in Last Jedi that is completely walked back here. The First Order is also treated with a waving of the hand. The way they are handled here makes them look like they were never important and didn't really matter in the previous two films. The film also doesn't seem to know what to do with Hux (Dohmnall Gleeson) and basically just throws him away . For crying out loud, Skywalker can't even decide upon one explanation for what its title means. It clearly feels like it should mean or refer to one specific thing, but JJ and Terio throw in a final insulting line because they want Rey to be the hero and main character at the end of the day, thereby creating two meanings for 'Rise of Skywalker'.
Other decisions Skywalker makes are clearly done out of necessity, like Palpatine returning. It's clear he was included to serve one purpose and one purpose only. He is terribly mishandled, and only appears in around two scenes. JJ takes one of the greatest villains of all time and turns him into a joke. Carrie Fisher appears for her final performance, and it's distracting. It's clear that her lines are ripped from another film, and she always looks just a little off here.
So, yes, there is A LOT of bad to be sampled in this film...but, are there any redeeming qualities? Surprisingly...yes. The film is consistently nice to look at (thanks in large part to cinematography by Dan Mindel). Adam Driver's Kylo Ren/Ben Solo remains the strongest, most compelling, most interesting thing/person in all 3 films. He's the only character who feels like he's had an arc over the three installments. Driver brings an anger and hurt, but also a wounded vulnerability and constant self-doubt to the character that makes him likable and easy to root for, even when he is doing terrible things (Hell yes, still #TeamKylo over here). In Skywalker, Driver looks downright young and boy-ish at times, which is odd but charming. Our main trio (Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, and Oscar Isaac) all do fine acting jobs here, and their characters remain likable. Another good thing is the 3rd act. It didn't suck. It was fine and had some good moments, one of which involves an extended scene between Kylo and another character (who I won't reveal), and another scene which features Chewbacca flipping the F out (Extra: There's A LOT of fan-service moments in the third act, but most didn't bother me). There's also an adorable new little droid named D-O, who has been abused in the past and so is a little skittish around people. He almost feels like a little kid at times, and might succeed at stealing your heart. Luke gets a great scene and an awesome, perfect line that throws shade at one of the only things that felt wrong about Last Jedi. Also, the way the Skywalker saga wraps up isn't awful, but also ain't exactly satisfying either. That's it for the good folks!
In the end, Rise of Skywalker plays it painfully safe, and suffers for it. You can't help but wonder what another, more talented director that actually had a vision and passion for the film could have created here. Skywalker could have been great, it SHOULD have been great....but it isn't. It's rushed (to the point where it almost feels like JJ wants the whole thing to be over as badly as we do), lazy, and uninspired, and it lacks any creativity, originality, thrills, drive, love, or passion. It feels downright desperate, as its clear there was never any plan as to how the new trilogy would play out, leaving the powers that be to scramble to cobble together some form of ending. There is nothing new here, and it's all very predictable. As stated above, it's not all bad....but the bad still far outweighs the good. It's especially tough when you realize that this is it...there are no take-sie back-sies....this is how it all really ends for our beloved Star Wars saga and the characters that inhabit its rich galaxy. There are no second chances, you can't go back and craft a better ending. We got what we got, and it just isn't any good. Star Wars deserved better...we all do.
1.5 STARS
Saturday, December 14, 2019
BLACK CHRISTMAS 2019 IS A WHOLE BUNCH OF HO HO NO!
In Black Christmas we follow a group of Sorority sisters who are left behind on their college campus during winter break. After an ill-advised prank on the main frat on campus (named DKO, Deke for short. Get it? Cause it sounds like dick! FACEPALM), they begin receiving threatening text messages from an unknown person. It doesn't take long for the sisters' numbers to start to drop, and on Christmas Eve it will be up to the remaining girls to fight for their lives.
Black Chistmas stars Imogen Poots as Riley (who is still recovering from a previous date rape), Aleyse Shannon as Kris (A crazed, man-hating, feminist extremest), Lily Donoghue as Marty, Brittany O'Grady as Jesse, Madeline Adams as Helena, and Nathalie Morris as Fran. These ladies make up our group of protagonists. Most of them are interchangeable and given very few defining characteristics/character traits or character development (except for Riley and Kris). You don't really care or feel for any of them. Cary Elwes plays Professor Gelson, who is currently under fire from a petition (started by Kris) that wants him removed from the campus because his literary curriculum consists of white males writers. He is understandably upset by this. There are also two "good guys" in the film: Caleb Eberhardt as Landon (love interest for Riley) and Simon Meade as Nate (Boyfriend to Marty). They, for the most part, are on the girls' side. However, when Nate tries to have a healthy dialogue/discussion with the girls about their views (Essentially his point is that not all men are rapists and evil. It's not good to lump us all together) the girls throw him out of the sorority house because he doesn't agree with them. Truly great, reasonable, fair-minded role models for young girls *sigh*.
Before we delve even further into the negatives (And yes, there is A LOT to unpack here), let's first look at the positives. Black Christmas has a strong cast (that the film doesn't know what to do with or how to properly utilize). The Cinematography by Mark Schwartzbard manages to be striking and effective at times (It's quite competent). The first kill (that happens within the first five minutes of the film) ain't bad either. Unfortunately, that's the only good I have to say about this rotten little flick.
So, where did this film go wrong? How about that it's one of the worst remakes you can sample in the modern day. It has no connection to Black Christmas except for its bare basic plot (Sorority is terrorized by unknown killer/killers on Christmas Eve), and it features some references to the original classic (and one reference to The Exorcist 3). Besides that, this is a remake in name only. The film does look appropriately wintry, with plenty of snow and decorations, but Christmas acts more as wallpaper (or wrapping). Black Christmas could have been set during any other time of the year, and nothing would have been lost. In short: It's just not a Christmas movie, or a Black Christmas movie.
What else is rotten about Black Christmas? Well, mostly everything. The script (by April Wolfe and Sophia Takal) is abysmal and the directing (by Sophia Takal) is poor. The film is terribly paced as well. The first hour is dull and boring as our protagonists basically walk around campus and talk about how evil men are while they wait for the film to kick into gear (nothing happens). The last 20-30 minutes go completely off-the-rails. It's revealed early on who the killer is, but the how and why are saved for the end. The explanation is bonkers, silly, stupid, ridiculous and insulting. Black Christmas wants us to take the reveal dead seriously, but it's so ridiculously presented that it's impossible to. It comes across as more humorous than anything else.
Black Christmas is never tense, scary, atmospheric, or suspenseful. It was clearly edited down during post-production to get a PG-13 rating (this decision was explained by Takal and Wolfe. They felt their "message" was so timely that it needed to be seen by 13 year olds ). This shows during the 3rd act as the kills are heavily edited down so the audience essentially doesn't see anything. Unfortunately, an R rating would not have been able to save this film. We would have gotten more gore and brutality, but that alone does not a great film make.
Black Christmas is not so much interested in being a proper horror film, than it is with being a message film. The only problem is that its message is terrible and does more harm than good. You'd think they'd want as many people as possible to take up the cause of feminism, but instead the film insists that feminism is a girls-only thing. The filmmakers don't want any guys involved at all (Unless they are weak, subservient losers like Landon and Nate, and even then they don't really matter because men's true nature is inherently evil. Really, the film says this.). It doesn't help that Black Christmas has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the face. The message is shoved forcefully down our throats (and THIS is what you want 13 year old girls to learn? That all men are evil, want to rape them or force them to submit? That men feel threatened by them gaining more power than us or them taking power away from men, which we feel inherently belongs to us? Yes, some men are terrible human beings...but not all of us are like that! Even the bad ones can see the err of their ways and change for the better!).
It's shocking that anyone thought that this film was a good idea, or that it even got green-lit to begin with. Blumhouse was actually doing pretty well, and thus film only serves as mud on their face. It's hard to believe that Imogen Poots and Cary Elwes would even allow themselves to get tangled up in this mess (Cary Elwes basically allows himself to be portrayed as an evil, one-dimensional villain who only exists to further drive the message home/further illustrate the message). Both are incredibly talented actors who deserve far better roles than these.
In the end, it's hard to say what's worse in Black Christmas: The dull, boring first hour or the insane, silly, ridiculous, insulting final 20 minutes or so. It's easy to see who is responsible for sinking this film: Sophia Takal (Who has done mostly acting, directing only 2 films before this. She only has two previous screenwriting credits to her name, one of which was for an episode of Hulu's Into The Dark) and April Wolfe (Who previously worked as a film critic for LA Weekly and Village Voice, as of now Black Christmas is the only screenwriting credit to her name.). The directing and script easily sink the film, and Black Christmas is a poor calling card for the two women.
Black Christmas doesn't attempt to properly remake the influential classic, instead stealing its title and using it to spread a hateful, toxic message to anyone unwise enough to fork over their hard-earned dollar to see it. It's easily one of the worst (if not THE worst) film to come out of 2019. Black Christmas is one "treat" you would hate to find in your stocking come Christmas-time. Black Christmas can get stuffed!
0.5 STARS
Black Chistmas stars Imogen Poots as Riley (who is still recovering from a previous date rape), Aleyse Shannon as Kris (A crazed, man-hating, feminist extremest), Lily Donoghue as Marty, Brittany O'Grady as Jesse, Madeline Adams as Helena, and Nathalie Morris as Fran. These ladies make up our group of protagonists. Most of them are interchangeable and given very few defining characteristics/character traits or character development (except for Riley and Kris). You don't really care or feel for any of them. Cary Elwes plays Professor Gelson, who is currently under fire from a petition (started by Kris) that wants him removed from the campus because his literary curriculum consists of white males writers. He is understandably upset by this. There are also two "good guys" in the film: Caleb Eberhardt as Landon (love interest for Riley) and Simon Meade as Nate (Boyfriend to Marty). They, for the most part, are on the girls' side. However, when Nate tries to have a healthy dialogue/discussion with the girls about their views (Essentially his point is that not all men are rapists and evil. It's not good to lump us all together) the girls throw him out of the sorority house because he doesn't agree with them. Truly great, reasonable, fair-minded role models for young girls *sigh*.
Before we delve even further into the negatives (And yes, there is A LOT to unpack here), let's first look at the positives. Black Christmas has a strong cast (that the film doesn't know what to do with or how to properly utilize). The Cinematography by Mark Schwartzbard manages to be striking and effective at times (It's quite competent). The first kill (that happens within the first five minutes of the film) ain't bad either. Unfortunately, that's the only good I have to say about this rotten little flick.
So, where did this film go wrong? How about that it's one of the worst remakes you can sample in the modern day. It has no connection to Black Christmas except for its bare basic plot (Sorority is terrorized by unknown killer/killers on Christmas Eve), and it features some references to the original classic (and one reference to The Exorcist 3). Besides that, this is a remake in name only. The film does look appropriately wintry, with plenty of snow and decorations, but Christmas acts more as wallpaper (or wrapping). Black Christmas could have been set during any other time of the year, and nothing would have been lost. In short: It's just not a Christmas movie, or a Black Christmas movie.
What else is rotten about Black Christmas? Well, mostly everything. The script (by April Wolfe and Sophia Takal) is abysmal and the directing (by Sophia Takal) is poor. The film is terribly paced as well. The first hour is dull and boring as our protagonists basically walk around campus and talk about how evil men are while they wait for the film to kick into gear (nothing happens). The last 20-30 minutes go completely off-the-rails. It's revealed early on who the killer is, but the how and why are saved for the end. The explanation is bonkers, silly, stupid, ridiculous and insulting. Black Christmas wants us to take the reveal dead seriously, but it's so ridiculously presented that it's impossible to. It comes across as more humorous than anything else.
Black Christmas is never tense, scary, atmospheric, or suspenseful. It was clearly edited down during post-production to get a PG-13 rating (this decision was explained by Takal and Wolfe. They felt their "message" was so timely that it needed to be seen by 13 year olds ). This shows during the 3rd act as the kills are heavily edited down so the audience essentially doesn't see anything. Unfortunately, an R rating would not have been able to save this film. We would have gotten more gore and brutality, but that alone does not a great film make.
Black Christmas is not so much interested in being a proper horror film, than it is with being a message film. The only problem is that its message is terrible and does more harm than good. You'd think they'd want as many people as possible to take up the cause of feminism, but instead the film insists that feminism is a girls-only thing. The filmmakers don't want any guys involved at all (Unless they are weak, subservient losers like Landon and Nate, and even then they don't really matter because men's true nature is inherently evil. Really, the film says this.). It doesn't help that Black Christmas has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the face. The message is shoved forcefully down our throats (and THIS is what you want 13 year old girls to learn? That all men are evil, want to rape them or force them to submit? That men feel threatened by them gaining more power than us or them taking power away from men, which we feel inherently belongs to us? Yes, some men are terrible human beings...but not all of us are like that! Even the bad ones can see the err of their ways and change for the better!).
It's shocking that anyone thought that this film was a good idea, or that it even got green-lit to begin with. Blumhouse was actually doing pretty well, and thus film only serves as mud on their face. It's hard to believe that Imogen Poots and Cary Elwes would even allow themselves to get tangled up in this mess (Cary Elwes basically allows himself to be portrayed as an evil, one-dimensional villain who only exists to further drive the message home/further illustrate the message). Both are incredibly talented actors who deserve far better roles than these.
In the end, it's hard to say what's worse in Black Christmas: The dull, boring first hour or the insane, silly, ridiculous, insulting final 20 minutes or so. It's easy to see who is responsible for sinking this film: Sophia Takal (Who has done mostly acting, directing only 2 films before this. She only has two previous screenwriting credits to her name, one of which was for an episode of Hulu's Into The Dark) and April Wolfe (Who previously worked as a film critic for LA Weekly and Village Voice, as of now Black Christmas is the only screenwriting credit to her name.). The directing and script easily sink the film, and Black Christmas is a poor calling card for the two women.
Black Christmas doesn't attempt to properly remake the influential classic, instead stealing its title and using it to spread a hateful, toxic message to anyone unwise enough to fork over their hard-earned dollar to see it. It's easily one of the worst (if not THE worst) film to come out of 2019. Black Christmas is one "treat" you would hate to find in your stocking come Christmas-time. Black Christmas can get stuffed!
0.5 STARS
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
DANIEL ISN'T REAL IS A NEON SOAKED FUN HOUSE OF THE MIND
But...I AM real...aren't I?
Ok, all kidding aside Daniel Isn't Real is based off a novel called In This Way I Was Saved by Brian DeLeeuw. In the film, we follow troubled college freshman Luke (Miles Robbins, son of Tim Robbins. He previously appeared as Dave in Halloween 2018). He isn't having the easiest time in college as he is generally awkward and shy. It doesn't help that his mom, Claire (Mary Stuart Masterson), has Schizophrenia. Luke has his plate full, and so calls on a repressed childhood imaginary friend named Daniel (Patrick Schwarzenegger, son of Arnold) to assist. It isn't long before Claire has been shipped off to an institution and Luke is banging girls and discovering his creative side through photography with Daniel's help. He even manages to get a girlfriend in sweet and caring Cassie (Sasha Lane). Unfortunately, Daniel still has a chip on his shoulder about being repressed for so long. It isn't long before Daniel's assistance turns into true malice as he sets about driving Luke mad and begins to tear apart his life.
Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miles Robbins are both phenomenal and work incredibly well together. They have great chemistry and play off of each other to a superb degree. They are easily two of the year's best performances. That said, most will likely walk out of Daniel Isn't Real talking about Schwarzenegger's Daniel. Daniel starts out looking like the ultimate friend, the kind you always want backing you up. Schwarzenegger imbues his performance with a subtle menace that only grows as the film progresses. He makes being cool look effortless, and succeeds in also being quite scary and menacing when he needs to be. Schwarzenegger is also quite handsome, and it's unsettling how much he looks like his dad. It's almost like a mirror image...if said mirror was from a funhouse.
Miles Robbins plays Luke like he's disheveled and struggling, still trying to discover himself in some respects. Luke is mostly shy, awkward and lacks confidence (which is where Daniel comes into play). Robbins is believable and sympathetic in his role, and has some genuinely cool and impressive moments in the final act. He's super easy to root for. We want to see him overcome the overwhelmng odds that are stacked against him and succeed in the end.
Mary Stuart Masterson is very good as Luke's mom, Claire. She realistically plays a person who has succumbed to a terrible mental illness, but whose love for her son outweighs everything else and is the only thing that is able to bring her back to a state of semi-sanity at times. Sasha Lane is also likable as Luke's girlfriend, Cassie. She is placed in some danger near the end, and is the first to sense that all might not be as it appears with Luke. That said, she is consistently caring and supportive of our tortured hero, and is shown to worry about him when things start to spiral downhill.
Despite some real, impressive strengths, Daniel Isn't Real is certainly not without some flaws. Some events and twists are heavily telegraphed in advance, and subtlety is not this film's strong suit. The film feels like it's trying to comment on mental health, sanity, and madness...but it's thoughts and ideas aren't fully fleshed out. Daniel himself is a very interesting character, though it's never made clear exactly what he is, or what he represents (is he even supposed to represent something?). This could be viewed as either a negative or a positive, as it allows viewers' imaginations to run wild.
The cinematography by Lyle Vincent is often striking and gorgeous, employing lots of neon. Props also go to the nice practical effects used in the film, and the good synth-y score by Chris Clark. The direction and script by Adam Egypt Mortimer (Brian DeLeeuw also helped with the script) is good as well.
Daniel Isn't Real is a ballsy, ambitious film whose ideas aren't fully fleshed out, but is quite interesting nonetheless (There are certainly some intriguing ideas to chew on here). It's a damn shame that it didn't garner a wide theatrical release, as it is highly entertaining, fun, freaky, and houses two of the year's best performances. I feel that it is destined to gain a following as it is certainly one cool film. It definitely deserves a watch.
3.5 STARS
Ok, all kidding aside Daniel Isn't Real is based off a novel called In This Way I Was Saved by Brian DeLeeuw. In the film, we follow troubled college freshman Luke (Miles Robbins, son of Tim Robbins. He previously appeared as Dave in Halloween 2018). He isn't having the easiest time in college as he is generally awkward and shy. It doesn't help that his mom, Claire (Mary Stuart Masterson), has Schizophrenia. Luke has his plate full, and so calls on a repressed childhood imaginary friend named Daniel (Patrick Schwarzenegger, son of Arnold) to assist. It isn't long before Claire has been shipped off to an institution and Luke is banging girls and discovering his creative side through photography with Daniel's help. He even manages to get a girlfriend in sweet and caring Cassie (Sasha Lane). Unfortunately, Daniel still has a chip on his shoulder about being repressed for so long. It isn't long before Daniel's assistance turns into true malice as he sets about driving Luke mad and begins to tear apart his life.
Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miles Robbins are both phenomenal and work incredibly well together. They have great chemistry and play off of each other to a superb degree. They are easily two of the year's best performances. That said, most will likely walk out of Daniel Isn't Real talking about Schwarzenegger's Daniel. Daniel starts out looking like the ultimate friend, the kind you always want backing you up. Schwarzenegger imbues his performance with a subtle menace that only grows as the film progresses. He makes being cool look effortless, and succeeds in also being quite scary and menacing when he needs to be. Schwarzenegger is also quite handsome, and it's unsettling how much he looks like his dad. It's almost like a mirror image...if said mirror was from a funhouse.
Miles Robbins plays Luke like he's disheveled and struggling, still trying to discover himself in some respects. Luke is mostly shy, awkward and lacks confidence (which is where Daniel comes into play). Robbins is believable and sympathetic in his role, and has some genuinely cool and impressive moments in the final act. He's super easy to root for. We want to see him overcome the overwhelmng odds that are stacked against him and succeed in the end.
Mary Stuart Masterson is very good as Luke's mom, Claire. She realistically plays a person who has succumbed to a terrible mental illness, but whose love for her son outweighs everything else and is the only thing that is able to bring her back to a state of semi-sanity at times. Sasha Lane is also likable as Luke's girlfriend, Cassie. She is placed in some danger near the end, and is the first to sense that all might not be as it appears with Luke. That said, she is consistently caring and supportive of our tortured hero, and is shown to worry about him when things start to spiral downhill.
Despite some real, impressive strengths, Daniel Isn't Real is certainly not without some flaws. Some events and twists are heavily telegraphed in advance, and subtlety is not this film's strong suit. The film feels like it's trying to comment on mental health, sanity, and madness...but it's thoughts and ideas aren't fully fleshed out. Daniel himself is a very interesting character, though it's never made clear exactly what he is, or what he represents (is he even supposed to represent something?). This could be viewed as either a negative or a positive, as it allows viewers' imaginations to run wild.
The cinematography by Lyle Vincent is often striking and gorgeous, employing lots of neon. Props also go to the nice practical effects used in the film, and the good synth-y score by Chris Clark. The direction and script by Adam Egypt Mortimer (Brian DeLeeuw also helped with the script) is good as well.
Daniel Isn't Real is a ballsy, ambitious film whose ideas aren't fully fleshed out, but is quite interesting nonetheless (There are certainly some intriguing ideas to chew on here). It's a damn shame that it didn't garner a wide theatrical release, as it is highly entertaining, fun, freaky, and houses two of the year's best performances. I feel that it is destined to gain a following as it is certainly one cool film. It definitely deserves a watch.
3.5 STARS
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
BLACK CHRISTMAS IS BOB CLARK'S MASTERPIECE
The director of A Christmas Story brings you a dark holiday treat.
In Black Christmas, sorority house Pi Kappa Sigma begins receiving disturbing, obscene phone calls. As the sorority sisters begin to drop one by one, the race is on to find the killer and stop him before he strikes again. The standouts in the cast are Olivia Hussey as Jess Bradford (aka Juliet in Romeo and Juliet), John Saxon as Lt. Kenneth Fuller (who also starred in A Nightmare on Elm Street), Margot Kidder as Barb Coard (She also played Lois Lane in the Superman films), and Nick Mancuso as Billy.
Jess is our heroine. She is a kind, caring girl who is going through some tough times. She genuinely cares about her other sorority sisters. Olivia Hussey is gorgeous as hell in the film, and plays her role incredibly well. We root for Jess, and worry about the increasing danger she finds herself in. Lt. Kenneth Fuller is the head cop who investigates the murders and phone calls. John Saxon is incredible here, and manages to give off an air of authority while still showing that he can be gentle and soft when he needs to be. He's certainly better here than he was in Nightmare on Elm Street. Barb is an alcohol guzzling, foul-mouthed, fierce girl who isn't afraid of much. Margot Kidder is very memorable and likable in the role, and she gets one of the best on-screen deaths in film history.
The killer in Black Christmas is Billy. As voiced by Nick Mancuso, he emerges as one of the most memorable, most interesting killers in cinema. We are given sparse information about Billy, we never get a clear look at him, and we never find out his identity. That said, going by the obscene phone calls he continually makes throughout the film (which are unforgettable and chilling), it's not too hard to piece together somewhat of a disturbing backstory for the character. Nick Mancuso is incredibly effective, and makes for one helluva talented voice actor (The multiple phone calls in the film were actually made using the voices of Nick Mancuso, Bob Clark, and various other performers).
Black Christmas is directed by Bob Clark, and written by A. Roy Moore. Some parts definitely feel like Bob Clark, as the film is filled with black humor (jn fact, the first act or so plays almost like a black comedy). The humor is entertaining, but can be distracting and feel misplaced. There's an alcoholic, funny house mother (Mrs Machenry, as played by Marian Waldman) as well as an inept cop (Nash, as played by Doug McGrath. He gets one of the best phone calls in cinema history, and is quite memorable because of it). Another downside is that the kills aren't all that graphic, with the money shots occurring off-camera. Luckily, this leaves most of the "good stuff" to your imagination, and what the mind imagines/conjures up is often far more horrifying than anything we could ever see on camera.
That said, the script is pretty strong (and sparse) and the directing is top-notch. The score by Carl Zittrer is haunting and effective (and subtle too). It's mostly played on the piano, but is guaranteed to make your hair stand on end at times. The cinematography by Reginald H. Morris is impressive as well. The whole film feels like it's set on a quiet, dark, snowy Christmas night. The characters feel like they are completely alone and unprotected, and the atmosphere is tense, thick, and rich.
Surprisingly, Black Christmas also plays host to some feminist themes, although it never hammers you over the head with them. As the film progresses onwards, we find out that Jess has been impregnated by her boyfriend Peter (Keir Dullea), and wants to get an abortion. Peter is not the best boyfriend as he expects Jess to marry him (out of nowhere), and insists that Jess is going to keep the baby despite her convictions otherwise. Black Christmas is not just about a crazed killer, but is also about women's rights and who has ownership over a woman's body. Considering that the film came out in 1974, it seems that the decision to include these themes was likely a ballsy choice.
Black Christmas, while darkly comic at moments, is more-so incredibly dark and disturbing. Billy is a creepy, scary character. We see through his eyes a good deal of the time, and he seems to always be just at the peripheral of the camera lens.You definitely feel his presence throughout the film. Black Christmas' ending is also downright haunting, ambiguous, and memorable. Black Christmas is certainly one of the darkest Christmas movies you can see (and one of the most influential and beloved horror films as well). It's sure to send a wintry chill down your spine.
5 STARS
FUN FACT: This film is the progenitor of the "The calls are coming from inside the house/the killer is inside the house" trope.
In Black Christmas, sorority house Pi Kappa Sigma begins receiving disturbing, obscene phone calls. As the sorority sisters begin to drop one by one, the race is on to find the killer and stop him before he strikes again. The standouts in the cast are Olivia Hussey as Jess Bradford (aka Juliet in Romeo and Juliet), John Saxon as Lt. Kenneth Fuller (who also starred in A Nightmare on Elm Street), Margot Kidder as Barb Coard (She also played Lois Lane in the Superman films), and Nick Mancuso as Billy.
Jess is our heroine. She is a kind, caring girl who is going through some tough times. She genuinely cares about her other sorority sisters. Olivia Hussey is gorgeous as hell in the film, and plays her role incredibly well. We root for Jess, and worry about the increasing danger she finds herself in. Lt. Kenneth Fuller is the head cop who investigates the murders and phone calls. John Saxon is incredible here, and manages to give off an air of authority while still showing that he can be gentle and soft when he needs to be. He's certainly better here than he was in Nightmare on Elm Street. Barb is an alcohol guzzling, foul-mouthed, fierce girl who isn't afraid of much. Margot Kidder is very memorable and likable in the role, and she gets one of the best on-screen deaths in film history.
The killer in Black Christmas is Billy. As voiced by Nick Mancuso, he emerges as one of the most memorable, most interesting killers in cinema. We are given sparse information about Billy, we never get a clear look at him, and we never find out his identity. That said, going by the obscene phone calls he continually makes throughout the film (which are unforgettable and chilling), it's not too hard to piece together somewhat of a disturbing backstory for the character. Nick Mancuso is incredibly effective, and makes for one helluva talented voice actor (The multiple phone calls in the film were actually made using the voices of Nick Mancuso, Bob Clark, and various other performers).
Black Christmas is directed by Bob Clark, and written by A. Roy Moore. Some parts definitely feel like Bob Clark, as the film is filled with black humor (jn fact, the first act or so plays almost like a black comedy). The humor is entertaining, but can be distracting and feel misplaced. There's an alcoholic, funny house mother (Mrs Machenry, as played by Marian Waldman) as well as an inept cop (Nash, as played by Doug McGrath. He gets one of the best phone calls in cinema history, and is quite memorable because of it). Another downside is that the kills aren't all that graphic, with the money shots occurring off-camera. Luckily, this leaves most of the "good stuff" to your imagination, and what the mind imagines/conjures up is often far more horrifying than anything we could ever see on camera.
That said, the script is pretty strong (and sparse) and the directing is top-notch. The score by Carl Zittrer is haunting and effective (and subtle too). It's mostly played on the piano, but is guaranteed to make your hair stand on end at times. The cinematography by Reginald H. Morris is impressive as well. The whole film feels like it's set on a quiet, dark, snowy Christmas night. The characters feel like they are completely alone and unprotected, and the atmosphere is tense, thick, and rich.
Surprisingly, Black Christmas also plays host to some feminist themes, although it never hammers you over the head with them. As the film progresses onwards, we find out that Jess has been impregnated by her boyfriend Peter (Keir Dullea), and wants to get an abortion. Peter is not the best boyfriend as he expects Jess to marry him (out of nowhere), and insists that Jess is going to keep the baby despite her convictions otherwise. Black Christmas is not just about a crazed killer, but is also about women's rights and who has ownership over a woman's body. Considering that the film came out in 1974, it seems that the decision to include these themes was likely a ballsy choice.
Black Christmas, while darkly comic at moments, is more-so incredibly dark and disturbing. Billy is a creepy, scary character. We see through his eyes a good deal of the time, and he seems to always be just at the peripheral of the camera lens.You definitely feel his presence throughout the film. Black Christmas' ending is also downright haunting, ambiguous, and memorable. Black Christmas is certainly one of the darkest Christmas movies you can see (and one of the most influential and beloved horror films as well). It's sure to send a wintry chill down your spine.
5 STARS
FUN FACT: This film is the progenitor of the "The calls are coming from inside the house/the killer is inside the house" trope.
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT IS EXTREMELY NAUGHTY
"PUNISH!!!"
Child abuse, sex, breasts, attempted rape, child endangerment, and murder...all this and more await those who trek into the pitch-black world of Silent Night, Deadly Night.
In Silent Night, Deadly Night, Billy witnesses the brutal murder of his parents by a robber dressed as Santa on Christmas Night. Understandably, this traumatizes the poor kid. Things only get worse when he is sent to a Catholic orphanage run by a cruel Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin), who continually abuses Billy, unable to understand or sympathize with the cause for his odd and inappropriate behavior. Fast forward to ten years later, and Billy has grown into a handsome, odd, but good 18 year old (played by Robert Brian Wilson). He is hired by a department store, but when Christmas Eve rolls around he is asked to play the role of Santa for them. It doesn't take long before poor Billy completely loses his mind and sets out into the wintry night, hellbent on punishing anyone who he deems naughty.
Silent Night, Deadly Night's cast of characters are mostly unlikable. The few who aren't despicable have little screen time. It's supporting cast consists of Linnea Quigley as Denise (a horny babysitter), Gilmer McCormick as Sister Margaret (The only kind nun in Billy's orphanage, who sympathizes with his plight), Britt Leach as Mr. Sims (the head of the department store), Toni Nero as Pamela (a kind co-worker at the department store whom Billy secretly pines for), Nancy Borgenicht as Mrs. Randall (The second in command at the department store), Randy Stumpf as Andy (an antogonistic co-worker at the department store) Tara Buckman as Billy's Mom, Geoff Hanson as Billy's Dad, Will Hare as Billy's Grandpa (who is the first to suggest to Billy that Santa punishes the naughty), Charles Dierkop as the Santa robber, Max Robinson as Officer Barnes, and H.E.D. Redford as Police Captain Richards.
Silent Night, Deadly Night certainly isn't of a high quality, but it sure is entertaining (and it's theme song is pretty catchy too). The acting within the film isn't great, with the only real notables being Lilyan Chauvin as Mother Superior and Robert Bryan Wilson as Billy. You buy their characters, even if they aren't fully fleshed out. The movie spends a good chunk of time crafting a backstory for Billy. It's a nice effort, but it's hard not to start to get antsy waiting for the action to begin. Billy is the closest we get to a fully realized character, but once he dons the red suit he becomes just another mindless killer.
The film itself has a lot of kills, and there is a good variety to the methods of execution. Billy doesn't just stick to an axe, and isn't afraid to get creative. Silent Night, Deadly Night certainly seems to know what it is. It's tasteless, shameless, and silly. It's not hard to see why some would find it disgusting (indeed, the film often feels like it's rated NC-17. There's a lot of sex scenes, and we get around 5 pairs of breasts in it). Upon it's release, Silent Night, Deadly Night garnered wide backlash from concerned members of the public as well as movie critics. The film was even banned for a while.
Silent Night, Deadly Night makes for a better Krampus movie than 2015's Krampus does (oddly enough). It's a mean spirited, dark Christmas exploitation film that isn't afraid to shock, disturb, and amuse. It's certainly a film of questionable quality, but it's still a lot of fun for all the wrong reasons. Those who like unconventional Christmas films will likely find much to enjoy in this sick little flick.
4.5 STARS
Child abuse, sex, breasts, attempted rape, child endangerment, and murder...all this and more await those who trek into the pitch-black world of Silent Night, Deadly Night.
In Silent Night, Deadly Night, Billy witnesses the brutal murder of his parents by a robber dressed as Santa on Christmas Night. Understandably, this traumatizes the poor kid. Things only get worse when he is sent to a Catholic orphanage run by a cruel Mother Superior (Lilyan Chauvin), who continually abuses Billy, unable to understand or sympathize with the cause for his odd and inappropriate behavior. Fast forward to ten years later, and Billy has grown into a handsome, odd, but good 18 year old (played by Robert Brian Wilson). He is hired by a department store, but when Christmas Eve rolls around he is asked to play the role of Santa for them. It doesn't take long before poor Billy completely loses his mind and sets out into the wintry night, hellbent on punishing anyone who he deems naughty.
Silent Night, Deadly Night's cast of characters are mostly unlikable. The few who aren't despicable have little screen time. It's supporting cast consists of Linnea Quigley as Denise (a horny babysitter), Gilmer McCormick as Sister Margaret (The only kind nun in Billy's orphanage, who sympathizes with his plight), Britt Leach as Mr. Sims (the head of the department store), Toni Nero as Pamela (a kind co-worker at the department store whom Billy secretly pines for), Nancy Borgenicht as Mrs. Randall (The second in command at the department store), Randy Stumpf as Andy (an antogonistic co-worker at the department store) Tara Buckman as Billy's Mom, Geoff Hanson as Billy's Dad, Will Hare as Billy's Grandpa (who is the first to suggest to Billy that Santa punishes the naughty), Charles Dierkop as the Santa robber, Max Robinson as Officer Barnes, and H.E.D. Redford as Police Captain Richards.
Silent Night, Deadly Night certainly isn't of a high quality, but it sure is entertaining (and it's theme song is pretty catchy too). The acting within the film isn't great, with the only real notables being Lilyan Chauvin as Mother Superior and Robert Bryan Wilson as Billy. You buy their characters, even if they aren't fully fleshed out. The movie spends a good chunk of time crafting a backstory for Billy. It's a nice effort, but it's hard not to start to get antsy waiting for the action to begin. Billy is the closest we get to a fully realized character, but once he dons the red suit he becomes just another mindless killer.
The film itself has a lot of kills, and there is a good variety to the methods of execution. Billy doesn't just stick to an axe, and isn't afraid to get creative. Silent Night, Deadly Night certainly seems to know what it is. It's tasteless, shameless, and silly. It's not hard to see why some would find it disgusting (indeed, the film often feels like it's rated NC-17. There's a lot of sex scenes, and we get around 5 pairs of breasts in it). Upon it's release, Silent Night, Deadly Night garnered wide backlash from concerned members of the public as well as movie critics. The film was even banned for a while.
Silent Night, Deadly Night makes for a better Krampus movie than 2015's Krampus does (oddly enough). It's a mean spirited, dark Christmas exploitation film that isn't afraid to shock, disturb, and amuse. It's certainly a film of questionable quality, but it's still a lot of fun for all the wrong reasons. Those who like unconventional Christmas films will likely find much to enjoy in this sick little flick.
4.5 STARS
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
KNIVES OUT IS YET ANOTHER MASTERPIECE FROM RIAN JOHNSON
Not gonna lie, this is going to be a tough one to review. The film is almost review-proof, it's so hard to truthfully and accurately talk about what the film is and what happens in it without spoiling a single thing. That said, here goes nothing.
In Knives Out, eccentric, rich mystery novelist Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) is found dead in his elaborate mansion the morning after his 85th birthday. Detective Lieutenant Elliot (Lakeith Stanfield) and trooper Wagner (Noah Segan) are more than content to label the death a suicide and move on, since that's exactly what it appears to be. However, when private eye Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig, sporting a swanky southern accent) gets involved, it's not long before every member of Harlan's large family becomes a suspect in what Blanc suspects might actually be a homicide.
Knives Out wields a large, impressive, strong cast of colorful characters. Ana de Armas plays Marta Cabrera (Harlan's personal nurse and close friend, she also just happens to be an immigrant), Jamie Lee Curtis plays Linda Drysdale (Harlan's eldest daughter), Michael Shannon plays Walt Thrombey (Harlan's youngest son), Don Johnson plays Richard Drysdale (Harlan's son-in-law, married to Linda), Toni Collette plays Joni Thrombey (Harlan's dumb blonde daughter-in-law), Chris Evans plays Hugh "Ransome" Thrombey (Harlan's ne're do well grandson, eldest son to Linda and Richard ), Jaeden Martell plays Jacob Thrombley (Harlan's grandson who has some serious alt-right leanings, son to Walt), Katherine Langford plays Meg Thrombey (Harlan's granddaughter, daughter to Joni), K Callan plays Wanetta "Great Nana" Thrombey (mother to Harlan), Riki Lindhome plays Donna Thrombey (Harlan's daughter-in-law, married to Walt), and Edi Patterson plays Fran (Harlan's housekeeper.). Even the great Frank Oz has a small role as Alan Stevens; Harlan's lawyer.
Everyone does what is required of them and more, each are immensely entertaining in their roles. Chris Evans goes from playing Captain America earlier this year to a swanky, hilarious, scene-stealing playboy in this film. Man, he is such a gift. Noah Segan is perfect as the enthusiastic trooper. He has played a role in each of Rian Johnson's films, and is always an absolute joy to watch on screen. Lakeith Stanfield is great, impressive and fun as usual. Michael Shannon gets to show off his great humor and his ability to make us shrink back in our seats...this film definitely shows off both sides of this talented actor. Jamie Lee Curtis is stoic, sarcastic and great fun (her role reminded me of her role in the tv series Scream Queens). Toni Collette nails her role with ease (it's a hoot to watch her play the airhead). Christopher Plummer is great and likable as one of the only "nice" ones in the film (his character has a big heart and is kind). Daniel Craig is perfection as the cool, suave expert who may or may not always be five steps ahead of everyone else. Ana de Armas is fantastic as a genuinely good person with a heart of gold (She is drop-dead gorgeous, and previously played Joi in Blade Runner 2049. Look for her next in the upcoming Bond film "No Time To Die". Daniel Craig and her get the largest amount of screen time as they act as a pair for most of Knives Out). Don Johnson is great as well.
Knives Out is a film that defies genre-ization. It cannot be defined by any one genre, and is it's own wholly unique and original thing. It bills itself as a classic murder-mystery whodunit in the vein of Clue, Deathtrap, or Murder on The Orient Express and it certainly has elements from that genre within it. Knives Out is a movie that continually morphs and shifts as you watch it ( you never quite know exactly what you're watching). It's certainly a hard one to categorize or define (if anything, the film plays more like a game than anything else). This much is definitely true though, it's a ton of fun and it enjoys continually challenging your expectations.
Rian Johnson (who previously directed Brick, Looper, The Brothers Bloom, and The Last Jedi) writes and directs, and Steve Yedlin is in charge of cinematography (indeed, there are some gorgeous shots within the film). Rian Johnson is one of the best directors we have working in the business today, and he once again proves that here. He plays within multiple different genres in Knives Out, while commenting on the culture/society/times we are currently living in. There are nice messages/commentary here (naturally some of which are about the attitudes/behaviors of the rich), and the film could even be viewed as a metaphor for America and our immigrant situation. The script is clever, funny and impressive. Brick, Looper, and Last Jedi were gifts, and so is Knives Out.
Knives Out is very complex (some might say convoluted/confusing), there are many twists and turns, and an aspect of the big climax comes off as unrealistic while the climax itself feels clunky (though the issues with the climax could easily be viewed as a common issue with most detective films when you really think about it). When all is said and done, Knives Out is certainly not going to be what you expect (or maybe even want) it to be, and either you're going to be ok with that or you wont. Whether or not you like the film, it's hard to deny that a lot of hard work and love clearly went into making it (indeed, Knives Out is expertly crafted). Knives Out easily emerges as one of the best, most surprising, most fun films of 2019.
4.5 STARS
In Knives Out, eccentric, rich mystery novelist Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer) is found dead in his elaborate mansion the morning after his 85th birthday. Detective Lieutenant Elliot (Lakeith Stanfield) and trooper Wagner (Noah Segan) are more than content to label the death a suicide and move on, since that's exactly what it appears to be. However, when private eye Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig, sporting a swanky southern accent) gets involved, it's not long before every member of Harlan's large family becomes a suspect in what Blanc suspects might actually be a homicide.
Knives Out wields a large, impressive, strong cast of colorful characters. Ana de Armas plays Marta Cabrera (Harlan's personal nurse and close friend, she also just happens to be an immigrant), Jamie Lee Curtis plays Linda Drysdale (Harlan's eldest daughter), Michael Shannon plays Walt Thrombey (Harlan's youngest son), Don Johnson plays Richard Drysdale (Harlan's son-in-law, married to Linda), Toni Collette plays Joni Thrombey (Harlan's dumb blonde daughter-in-law), Chris Evans plays Hugh "Ransome" Thrombey (Harlan's ne're do well grandson, eldest son to Linda and Richard ), Jaeden Martell plays Jacob Thrombley (Harlan's grandson who has some serious alt-right leanings, son to Walt), Katherine Langford plays Meg Thrombey (Harlan's granddaughter, daughter to Joni), K Callan plays Wanetta "Great Nana" Thrombey (mother to Harlan), Riki Lindhome plays Donna Thrombey (Harlan's daughter-in-law, married to Walt), and Edi Patterson plays Fran (Harlan's housekeeper.). Even the great Frank Oz has a small role as Alan Stevens; Harlan's lawyer.
Everyone does what is required of them and more, each are immensely entertaining in their roles. Chris Evans goes from playing Captain America earlier this year to a swanky, hilarious, scene-stealing playboy in this film. Man, he is such a gift. Noah Segan is perfect as the enthusiastic trooper. He has played a role in each of Rian Johnson's films, and is always an absolute joy to watch on screen. Lakeith Stanfield is great, impressive and fun as usual. Michael Shannon gets to show off his great humor and his ability to make us shrink back in our seats...this film definitely shows off both sides of this talented actor. Jamie Lee Curtis is stoic, sarcastic and great fun (her role reminded me of her role in the tv series Scream Queens). Toni Collette nails her role with ease (it's a hoot to watch her play the airhead). Christopher Plummer is great and likable as one of the only "nice" ones in the film (his character has a big heart and is kind). Daniel Craig is perfection as the cool, suave expert who may or may not always be five steps ahead of everyone else. Ana de Armas is fantastic as a genuinely good person with a heart of gold (She is drop-dead gorgeous, and previously played Joi in Blade Runner 2049. Look for her next in the upcoming Bond film "No Time To Die". Daniel Craig and her get the largest amount of screen time as they act as a pair for most of Knives Out). Don Johnson is great as well.
Knives Out is a film that defies genre-ization. It cannot be defined by any one genre, and is it's own wholly unique and original thing. It bills itself as a classic murder-mystery whodunit in the vein of Clue, Deathtrap, or Murder on The Orient Express and it certainly has elements from that genre within it. Knives Out is a movie that continually morphs and shifts as you watch it ( you never quite know exactly what you're watching). It's certainly a hard one to categorize or define (if anything, the film plays more like a game than anything else). This much is definitely true though, it's a ton of fun and it enjoys continually challenging your expectations.
Rian Johnson (who previously directed Brick, Looper, The Brothers Bloom, and The Last Jedi) writes and directs, and Steve Yedlin is in charge of cinematography (indeed, there are some gorgeous shots within the film). Rian Johnson is one of the best directors we have working in the business today, and he once again proves that here. He plays within multiple different genres in Knives Out, while commenting on the culture/society/times we are currently living in. There are nice messages/commentary here (naturally some of which are about the attitudes/behaviors of the rich), and the film could even be viewed as a metaphor for America and our immigrant situation. The script is clever, funny and impressive. Brick, Looper, and Last Jedi were gifts, and so is Knives Out.
Knives Out is very complex (some might say convoluted/confusing), there are many twists and turns, and an aspect of the big climax comes off as unrealistic while the climax itself feels clunky (though the issues with the climax could easily be viewed as a common issue with most detective films when you really think about it). When all is said and done, Knives Out is certainly not going to be what you expect (or maybe even want) it to be, and either you're going to be ok with that or you wont. Whether or not you like the film, it's hard to deny that a lot of hard work and love clearly went into making it (indeed, Knives Out is expertly crafted). Knives Out easily emerges as one of the best, most surprising, most fun films of 2019.
4.5 STARS
Thursday, November 21, 2019
FROZEN 2 TRAVELS INTO THE UNKNOWN WITH MIXED (BUT MOSTLY POSITIVE) RESULTS
In Frozen 2, things are pretty peachy in the kingdom of Arendelle. Queen Elsa (Idina Menzel) is still getting used to being Queen, Princess Anna (Kristen Bell) is enjoying how normal and idyllic everything is while Olaf (Josh Gad) fears that nothing stays the same for very long, and Kristoff (Jonathan Groff) is tormenting himself over getting his proposal to Anna just right. Everything changes for the worst when Elsa engages in a duet with a strange voice that only she can hear, angering the elements (Water, Earth, Wind, and Fire....they each have their own personalities in the film. The fire spirit in particular is adorable as heck) which results with the citizens of Arendelle getting kicked out of their kingdom. The only way to make things right lies in a mysterious forest enshrouded in a thick mist. Elsa, Anna, Olaf and Kristoff will have to uncover the mystery that lies in the heart of the forest, and find a way to make things right.
Well, it's been six years since Frozen came out and took the world by storm, and now Frozen 2 sits poised to do it all over again. The whole cast is back for round 2, and is more than game for their beefed up roles (Olaf is also in much more of the film this time around, and is still entertaining....especially his recap of the first film. That said, he can be grating at times. Idina Menzel continues to absolutely own her role. Sterling K. Brown joins the cast in a small role as newcomer Destin Mattias, a member of the Arendelle royal guard. He's memorable and likable enough.). Directors Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck return. Lee once again pens the script, but with assistance this outing from Allison Schroeder. The script is still mostly good, although Disney seems to be taking notes from Marvel. The songs this time around (once again by Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez) are still mostly great, though the first film undeniably has the stronger soundtrack. The clear stand-out is 'Into the Unknown' (which is all but guaranteed to become the next big, inescapable earworm, just like 'Let It Go' before it.) , a playful and infectious song about the joy of venturing into new and possibly dangerous adventures. The visual sequence that accompanies it houses some of the first real WOW visuals in the movie. 'Some Things Never Change', and'When I Am Older' are a bit lacking. 'Lost in the Woods' plays better on the soundtrack, as in the film it's mostly played for laughs when in reality the lyrics are fairly serious.
Frozen 2 falls into the same trap that most sequels fall into: It tries to be bigger, darker, and more mature. It mostly succeeds, but bigger does not always mean better. The film is slower than the first, and borders on being boring at times. Some might find themselves wishing Frozen 2 would just get on with it. It doesn't help that there is an expanded focus on backstory and exposition here, to a point where it almost overwhelms everything (For example: The first scene is a flashback to young Anna and Elsa, which then segues into ANOTHER flashback of their father when he was young). Yet another issue is that the characters are slowly separated as the film progresses onwards(Example: Kristoff appears in the first act and a half, only to disappear until the end of the final act. Sad to see a great character be mostly ignored), and while sisterhood still plays a key role here...this outing is more about the continuing adventure of self-discovery that Elsa is on. The film also features some heavy foreshadowing that all but telegraphs how things are going to play out, and is like being hit in the face with a brick (repeatedly).
One of the things about wanting to be darker and more mature, is that you have to commit. Each character does experience significant growth throughout the film (and the film is indeed quite dark and more mature), but Frozen 2 teases a much darker ending and almost completely goes for it, only to pull back at the very last second. That said, one of the sequel's largest positives is this: if you are looking for a spectacular wonderland for the eyes, you don't get much better than Frozen 2. The film is consistently stunning and gorgeous (Step aside Lion King 2019). There is always something to marvel at (so much wonderful, rich eye candy), and it's hard not to enjoy getting lost in the world the filmmakers create (especially in 3-D. There are plenty of screen-penetrating moments).
Frozen 2 is certainly not without some flaws, but still mostly succeeds despite itself (admittedly, some things don't exactly add up/make sense when you stop to really think about them. The film also recycles some elements/parts from the first Frozen) . It's a very entertaining, fun, visually dazzling film that has some memorable tunes and plays host to some great messages for the young and young-at-heart. It borders on being great, but doesn't quite get there. As far as sequels go, it's one of the better ones. In the end, there is plenty to enjoy here. Don't 'Let It Go', it's worth the trip 'Into the Unknown'.
3.5 STARS
Well, it's been six years since Frozen came out and took the world by storm, and now Frozen 2 sits poised to do it all over again. The whole cast is back for round 2, and is more than game for their beefed up roles (Olaf is also in much more of the film this time around, and is still entertaining....especially his recap of the first film. That said, he can be grating at times. Idina Menzel continues to absolutely own her role. Sterling K. Brown joins the cast in a small role as newcomer Destin Mattias, a member of the Arendelle royal guard. He's memorable and likable enough.). Directors Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck return. Lee once again pens the script, but with assistance this outing from Allison Schroeder. The script is still mostly good, although Disney seems to be taking notes from Marvel. The songs this time around (once again by Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez) are still mostly great, though the first film undeniably has the stronger soundtrack. The clear stand-out is 'Into the Unknown' (which is all but guaranteed to become the next big, inescapable earworm, just like 'Let It Go' before it.) , a playful and infectious song about the joy of venturing into new and possibly dangerous adventures. The visual sequence that accompanies it houses some of the first real WOW visuals in the movie. 'Some Things Never Change', and'When I Am Older' are a bit lacking. 'Lost in the Woods' plays better on the soundtrack, as in the film it's mostly played for laughs when in reality the lyrics are fairly serious.
Frozen 2 falls into the same trap that most sequels fall into: It tries to be bigger, darker, and more mature. It mostly succeeds, but bigger does not always mean better. The film is slower than the first, and borders on being boring at times. Some might find themselves wishing Frozen 2 would just get on with it. It doesn't help that there is an expanded focus on backstory and exposition here, to a point where it almost overwhelms everything (For example: The first scene is a flashback to young Anna and Elsa, which then segues into ANOTHER flashback of their father when he was young). Yet another issue is that the characters are slowly separated as the film progresses onwards(Example: Kristoff appears in the first act and a half, only to disappear until the end of the final act. Sad to see a great character be mostly ignored), and while sisterhood still plays a key role here...this outing is more about the continuing adventure of self-discovery that Elsa is on. The film also features some heavy foreshadowing that all but telegraphs how things are going to play out, and is like being hit in the face with a brick (repeatedly).
One of the things about wanting to be darker and more mature, is that you have to commit. Each character does experience significant growth throughout the film (and the film is indeed quite dark and more mature), but Frozen 2 teases a much darker ending and almost completely goes for it, only to pull back at the very last second. That said, one of the sequel's largest positives is this: if you are looking for a spectacular wonderland for the eyes, you don't get much better than Frozen 2. The film is consistently stunning and gorgeous (Step aside Lion King 2019). There is always something to marvel at (so much wonderful, rich eye candy), and it's hard not to enjoy getting lost in the world the filmmakers create (especially in 3-D. There are plenty of screen-penetrating moments).
Frozen 2 is certainly not without some flaws, but still mostly succeeds despite itself (admittedly, some things don't exactly add up/make sense when you stop to really think about them. The film also recycles some elements/parts from the first Frozen) . It's a very entertaining, fun, visually dazzling film that has some memorable tunes and plays host to some great messages for the young and young-at-heart. It borders on being great, but doesn't quite get there. As far as sequels go, it's one of the better ones. In the end, there is plenty to enjoy here. Don't 'Let It Go', it's worth the trip 'Into the Unknown'.
3.5 STARS
ASSASSINATION NATION IS THE GREAT AMERICAN NIGHTMARE BROUGHT TO LIFE
This review has been a long time coming.
In Assassination Nation, Lilly (Odessa Young) and her BFFs Bex (Hari Nef), Sarah (Suki Waterhouse), and Em (Abra) are traversing the ups and downs of high school and social media. When their small town of Salem (clearly named as a reference to the Salem Witch Trials. Appropriate considering what goes down at the end of this film.) falls victim to a vicious hacker who hacks half the citizens of the town and publicly releases all of their data, it isn't long before the whole town is in a complete state of hysteria, and a violent mob forms. They target Lilly, viewing her as a "whore" (due to her sexual escapades) and blame her for the hack. Her friends are targeted as well, due to their friendship with her. It's up to the four-some to band together and do what it takes to survive.
Assassination Nation plays like The Purge meets Spring Breakers. The cinematography (by Marcell Rev) is gorgeous and flashy, the script by Sam Levinson (who also directs) is strong and humorous, and the editing by Ron Patane is great. The film opens with a humorous but serious trigger warning. Assassination Nation deals with themes of homophobia, privacy (or the lack thereof) in today's age, hypocrisy, and toxic masculinity among other things. It's ultimately a social commentary that feels very real and very current.
Out of our leads, the standouts are Odessa Young as Lilly and Hari Nef as Bex. Lilly is definitely not without her flaws (she is indeed quite sexual and promiscuous, which winds up bringing her a lot of pain throughout the film), but she is also incredibly smart and aware of the age/times she is living in. Odessa Young plays her with confidence and vulnerability, allowing the shy, awkward, nervous 18 year old to shine through. Her monologues throughout the film are strong and gripping (especially the last one). Hari Nef is fantastic as her sympathetic and cool transgender BF Bex, who is going through some stuff as well. Bex is pining over one of the football studs who has a clear interest in her, but is not comfortable with his own sexuality. Hari Nef manages to put on a strong, naturalistic performance and is quite likable in the role. Bill Skarsgard has a small supporting role as Lilly's nasty boyfriend (He is pretty scary), and Joel McHale puts on maybe his best performance yet as Lilly's next door neighbor-turned-psycho that Lilly has been crushing on.
Assassination Nation is a film that many may find hard to watch. It's incredibly dark and graphic. When the Purge-esque portion comes into play near the end (which commences with a scene of home-made waterboarding, immediately followed by the best sequence in a film in 2018: The break-in and attack on Abra's house) we aren't encouraged to revel in the anarchy. Instead it's all very disturbing and frightening. It's a relief when the film ends with an enthusiastic marching band marching through the destroyed streets of Salem, set to the tune of Miley Cyrus' 'We Can't Stop' (It's sure to send you out smiling and dancing). Despite all the anarchy, chaos and depravity to be sampled in Assassination Nation, the film itself is still very entertaining and darkly humorous, and has some strong messages that are worth hearing (It even advocates for tearing the whole system down and starting over again, a scary but liberating idea). Assassination Nation is a film that acts as a mirror, reflecting the darkest parts of our society and ourselves. Some parts do come across as a bit exaggerated, but that can be expected in social satires and commentaries. The film will undoubtedly challenge you and disturb you, but is still an absolute must-see.
5 STARS
In Assassination Nation, Lilly (Odessa Young) and her BFFs Bex (Hari Nef), Sarah (Suki Waterhouse), and Em (Abra) are traversing the ups and downs of high school and social media. When their small town of Salem (clearly named as a reference to the Salem Witch Trials. Appropriate considering what goes down at the end of this film.) falls victim to a vicious hacker who hacks half the citizens of the town and publicly releases all of their data, it isn't long before the whole town is in a complete state of hysteria, and a violent mob forms. They target Lilly, viewing her as a "whore" (due to her sexual escapades) and blame her for the hack. Her friends are targeted as well, due to their friendship with her. It's up to the four-some to band together and do what it takes to survive.
Assassination Nation plays like The Purge meets Spring Breakers. The cinematography (by Marcell Rev) is gorgeous and flashy, the script by Sam Levinson (who also directs) is strong and humorous, and the editing by Ron Patane is great. The film opens with a humorous but serious trigger warning. Assassination Nation deals with themes of homophobia, privacy (or the lack thereof) in today's age, hypocrisy, and toxic masculinity among other things. It's ultimately a social commentary that feels very real and very current.
Out of our leads, the standouts are Odessa Young as Lilly and Hari Nef as Bex. Lilly is definitely not without her flaws (she is indeed quite sexual and promiscuous, which winds up bringing her a lot of pain throughout the film), but she is also incredibly smart and aware of the age/times she is living in. Odessa Young plays her with confidence and vulnerability, allowing the shy, awkward, nervous 18 year old to shine through. Her monologues throughout the film are strong and gripping (especially the last one). Hari Nef is fantastic as her sympathetic and cool transgender BF Bex, who is going through some stuff as well. Bex is pining over one of the football studs who has a clear interest in her, but is not comfortable with his own sexuality. Hari Nef manages to put on a strong, naturalistic performance and is quite likable in the role. Bill Skarsgard has a small supporting role as Lilly's nasty boyfriend (He is pretty scary), and Joel McHale puts on maybe his best performance yet as Lilly's next door neighbor-turned-psycho that Lilly has been crushing on.
Assassination Nation is a film that many may find hard to watch. It's incredibly dark and graphic. When the Purge-esque portion comes into play near the end (which commences with a scene of home-made waterboarding, immediately followed by the best sequence in a film in 2018: The break-in and attack on Abra's house) we aren't encouraged to revel in the anarchy. Instead it's all very disturbing and frightening. It's a relief when the film ends with an enthusiastic marching band marching through the destroyed streets of Salem, set to the tune of Miley Cyrus' 'We Can't Stop' (It's sure to send you out smiling and dancing). Despite all the anarchy, chaos and depravity to be sampled in Assassination Nation, the film itself is still very entertaining and darkly humorous, and has some strong messages that are worth hearing (It even advocates for tearing the whole system down and starting over again, a scary but liberating idea). Assassination Nation is a film that acts as a mirror, reflecting the darkest parts of our society and ourselves. Some parts do come across as a bit exaggerated, but that can be expected in social satires and commentaries. The film will undoubtedly challenge you and disturb you, but is still an absolute must-see.
5 STARS
Saturday, November 2, 2019
CHERNOBYL IS THE ICARUS FABLE BROUGHT TO HORRIFYING LIFE
The HBO miniseries Chernobyl is about the events immediately following the horrific Chernobyl explosion that occurred April 1986, and the efforts to contain and stop the catastrophic fallout and consequences of human hubris. We follow professor Valery Legasov (Jared Harris), Council of minister's deputy chairman Boris Shcherbina (Stellan Skarsgard), and nuclear physicist Ulana Khomyuk (Emily Watson, her character is fictional, and meant to represent all the scientists who worked effortlessly during the aftermath of the Chernobyl disaster) who are tasked with getting the situation under control and uncovering the reason for the explosion. Needless to say, both are herculean, almost impossible tasks.
Chernobyl is about the explosion, and why things went so horrifically, unimaginably wrong. It's also very much so about the thousands of men and women who put their lives on the line in an effort to ensure things didn't get any worse. It's a harrowing, horrifying nightmare and is incredibly grim, bleak and graphic. The show doesn't hold back when it comes to depicting the full horrors of the Icarus fable, and what happens when man is foolish enough to think he has complete control over anything and everything. Bodies melt, babies die, sacrifices are made, and people suffer unimaginably.
Jared Harris, Stellan Skarsgard, and Emily Watson (who's character also represents the viewpoint of history) are all phenomenal and put on fantastic performances as people that are struggling not only against enormous odds, but also against a system/government that is dedicated to disinformation and lies. The show does a great job at memorializing not just Legasov and Shcherbina and their heroic efforts, but also the efforts and tireless work of everyone who worked around the clock to neutralize the aftermath and effects of Chernobyl.
Chernobyl makes for a tough, but informative and rewarding watch. It is a dramatization/fictionalization so don't assume it gets everything right (It doesn't. It does seem to get the sequence of events that lead to the explosion correct, the same goes for the basics of the clean-up effort). The show succeeds in showing just how small man is when compared to the power of the Gods (It really does make you feel like an ant. A bunch of ants trying to extinguish an inextinguishable fire), and it certainly will make you want to chuck your cell phone and any device that emits radiation into the nearest garbage can (the effects of radiation sickness are truly sickening and horrifying). In the end, if you are looking for a great piece of horror based on a real-life nightmare...Chernobyl is the way to go. It's only 5 episodes, but is still challenging, effective, and is easily the most horrifying piece of "entertainment" to come out of 2019.
5 STARS
Some articles about what Chernobyl got right and wrong
https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/what-hbos-chernobyl-got-right-and-what-it-got-terribly-wrong
https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamesconca/2019/06/27/how-hbo-got-it-wrong-on-chernobyl/
https://www.businessinsider.com/chernobyl-hbo-whats-true-myths-2019-5
https://www.businessinsider.com/chernobyl-director-hbo-series-villain-hero-2019-7
Chernobyl is about the explosion, and why things went so horrifically, unimaginably wrong. It's also very much so about the thousands of men and women who put their lives on the line in an effort to ensure things didn't get any worse. It's a harrowing, horrifying nightmare and is incredibly grim, bleak and graphic. The show doesn't hold back when it comes to depicting the full horrors of the Icarus fable, and what happens when man is foolish enough to think he has complete control over anything and everything. Bodies melt, babies die, sacrifices are made, and people suffer unimaginably.
Jared Harris, Stellan Skarsgard, and Emily Watson (who's character also represents the viewpoint of history) are all phenomenal and put on fantastic performances as people that are struggling not only against enormous odds, but also against a system/government that is dedicated to disinformation and lies. The show does a great job at memorializing not just Legasov and Shcherbina and their heroic efforts, but also the efforts and tireless work of everyone who worked around the clock to neutralize the aftermath and effects of Chernobyl.
Chernobyl makes for a tough, but informative and rewarding watch. It is a dramatization/fictionalization so don't assume it gets everything right (It doesn't. It does seem to get the sequence of events that lead to the explosion correct, the same goes for the basics of the clean-up effort). The show succeeds in showing just how small man is when compared to the power of the Gods (It really does make you feel like an ant. A bunch of ants trying to extinguish an inextinguishable fire), and it certainly will make you want to chuck your cell phone and any device that emits radiation into the nearest garbage can (the effects of radiation sickness are truly sickening and horrifying). In the end, if you are looking for a great piece of horror based on a real-life nightmare...Chernobyl is the way to go. It's only 5 episodes, but is still challenging, effective, and is easily the most horrifying piece of "entertainment" to come out of 2019.
5 STARS
Some articles about what Chernobyl got right and wrong
https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/what-hbos-chernobyl-got-right-and-what-it-got-terribly-wrong
https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamesconca/2019/06/27/how-hbo-got-it-wrong-on-chernobyl/
https://www.businessinsider.com/chernobyl-hbo-whats-true-myths-2019-5
https://www.businessinsider.com/chernobyl-director-hbo-series-villain-hero-2019-7
TERMINATOR: DARK FATE ATTEMPTS TO REBOOT THE FRANCHISE (AGAIN)
Be warned, there be spoilers ahead!
In Terminator: Dark Fate, Dani Ramos (Natalia Reyes) finds herself targeted by a new kind of terminator dubbed the REV9 (Gabriel Luna), who hails from a new post-apocalyptic future that was created after Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) and her son John destroyed Skynet. Now, it's up to augmented super soldier from the future Grace (Mackenzie Davis), Sarah Connor, and an aging T-800 named Carl (Arnold Schwarzenegger) to protect Dani and find a way to destroy the REV9.
After the failure of Terminator: Genisys, it would appear that Hollywood refused to give up so easily, and (taking heavy notes from the reboot of Halloween), they decided to try again with Terminator: Dark Fate. Indeed, Dark Fate definitely feels like Genisys 2.0 (it recycles a lot from the previous film: John Connor dies, it's another attempt at "rebooting" the franchise, and it's yet another Terminator film that feels like more of an excuse to create thrilling action set pieces instead of a cohesive and captivating plot). It's certainly better than Genisys, and it's one of the better Terminator sequels....but it still ain't great.
Let's start with the good. The film is well-cast, with Hamilton, Davis, and Schwarzenegger easily carrying the weight of the film. Hamilton steps back into the role of bad-ass, sexy grandma Sarah Connor with ease. After losing John to another T-800 in 1998, she has been adrift and filled with an all-encompassing grief. She failed her mission, and she doesn't know what to do now (She even states at one point that she has started to forget how John looked, and regrets not taking any pictures of him. This decision stemming from a paranoia that if the terminators didn't know how he looked, they wouldn't be able to find him). She has gone globe-trotting, destroying any rogue terminator she finds. It's surprising to realize how much she has been missed during the last 28 years. Just having her in the film elevates the proceedings considerably, and her arc is quite satisfying and sad. It's hard not to grieve along with her.
Mackenzie Davis is fantastic as Grace. She hails from the new post-apocalyptic future, Legion (a new cyber warfare tech that rises up against humanity, turning off all technology. It's essentially a less cool, not as well fleshed out version of Skynet) has created machines to eradicate mankind. After suffering grievous injuries, she volunteers to become an augmented super soldier. Her mission is to travel to the past and protect new resistance leader Dani Ramos. Davis is believable as an action hero, and her scenes of butt-kicking are surprisingly cool and impressive. It helps that she has an interesting backstory that is reminiscent of Kyle Reese's. Davis is easily the stand-out of the new cast.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is back as aging T-800 Carl, who was responsible for terminating John Connor. After his mission was complete, he slowly grew something resembling a conscience and saved a mother and her young son. He became her husband, and the son's step-father of sorts. Raising the son made him realize what he took away from Sarah, and he now spends his days protecting his new family and trying to make amends to Sarah for his mistake. His catch-phrase isn't "I'll be back", but is now "For John". This is easily Arnold's best reprisal of his beloved character in any of the sequels post-T2. He is very funny, charming, believable and sympathetic as Carl the T-800. It's a performance that is reminiscent of the one her gave in Terminator 2, and he makes it clear this is his final performance as the character ( "I won't be back"). It's a fitting, beautiful swan song. What a way to go.
Tim Miller previously directed the stellar Deadpool, and is in the director's seat for Dark Fate. It's clear him and the other people responsible for creating the film are huge fans of the franchise as there are many, many nods to Terminator and Terminator 2 ('Guitars, Cadillacs' even plays in the back ground of one scene). None of the references bothered me, but I could see how they could rub some the wrong way (Some might say "too much fan service"). As director, Miller isn't exactly great, excelling at directing the numerous action scenes (which are thrilling, exciting and cool....when you can make out what's going on. The CGI is also inconsistent. Some of it is very obvious and bad, but some of it is stunningly gorgeous) but not doing so well the rest of the time. The screenplay by David Goyer, Justin Rhodes, and Billy Ray ain't great. The characters are fleshed out enough, but the plot just isn't cool, interesting, or engaging.
It is interesting that most of the first act, and some of the second, is set in Mexico City. This new location makes the characters feel more vulnerable, and more in danger than in previous sequels (The authority figures/police just don't seem as present, or as good at their jobs). Things get even more unsettling when our protagonists have to make a run for the border, and ultimately wind up in a confrontation with Border Patrol. There isn't much commentary to be sampled in Dark Fate, but it's appreciated that the film places us in the shoes of undocumented immigrants and somewhat attempts to show us some of their plights.
Gabriel Luna as the REV9 is one of the more impressive terminators from the sequel films. He is a metal endo-skeleton covered in a liquid metal alloy (think a cooler, more bad-ass version of the TX from Terminator 3). The liquid metal can separate from the metal endo-skeleton to create a 2nd terminator. It's very unsettling to watch the two merge back together after any battle. Unfortunately, his performance just isn't great and he never feels like a real presence in the film. You don't buy him as the next, great, unstoppable killing machine (One thing that is distracting: He can form guns with his hands...something that previous Terminators are explicitly stated can never do. The film gets away with this via the excuse that he comes from Legion, which is different from Skynet, so the old rules don't apply. What exactly the new rules are, aren't made clear.)
Natalia Reyes as Dani Ramos barely makes an impression. The film tries to make her into a new, bad-ass female icon and fails. Her character just isn't interesting, and we don't know enough about her to root for her or buy her as the new John Connor. It doesn't help that all our other protagonists are given so much more material to work with than her. In the end, she is more-so delegated to sit on the sidelines and try to look tough. Not sure if the fault lies with how she was written, how Reyes performed her role, or both. Either way, she is one of the least memorable things in Dark Fate.
Another thing that many will undoubtedly be pissed off by is John Connor's death (two shotgun blasts to the chest). The de-aging used in the scene is seamless and impressive, Sarah and John look exactly the way we remember them...which drives the knife even further into our guts when the termination happens. It doesn't help that John didn't really need to die. John could have easily lived and went into hiding or went on to live a regular life. His death didn't result in Dani Ramos becoming the new leader, Skynet's death did...so his fate feels unearned, meaningless and even more tragic. It would have been better if he wasn't included at all. Such a waste of Edward Furlong (John only appears in around a minute or less of screen time. And no, there isn't an end credits scene where John appears and his death is undone....so don't bother sitting through the credits). The only positive result is that it makes Sarah's story and arc that much more rich and engaging.
Terminator: Dark Fate is an undeniably flawed, but entertaining film. It's certainly one of the better Termintor sequels you can see....but that doesn't mean it earns a recommendation. Despite Sarah Connor, Grace, and Carl being fairly strong, engaging, well-written characters and the action being some of the best and most thrilling you can sample in any of the Terminator sequels post T2, the plot is exceptionally weak and uninteresting and it just feels like the film is trying much too hard with very little payoff. It's so incredibly disappointing that we have had four freakin' Terminator sequels after T2, and not one has been worth its weight in salt. Terminator: Dark Fate tries to be the Halloween 2018 of the Terminator franchise (featuring female characters who struggle with their own versions of grief, ultimately having to work together to defeat a big, bad male) and ultimately fails. In the end, it's just another flawed, failed attempt at rebooting a franchise that should have terminated with T2. Check it out when it is available to rent (worth a view to see the end of Sarah Connor's story, and for Arnold's final swan song as the T-800), but don't bother running to theaters to see it.
3 STARS
In Terminator: Dark Fate, Dani Ramos (Natalia Reyes) finds herself targeted by a new kind of terminator dubbed the REV9 (Gabriel Luna), who hails from a new post-apocalyptic future that was created after Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) and her son John destroyed Skynet. Now, it's up to augmented super soldier from the future Grace (Mackenzie Davis), Sarah Connor, and an aging T-800 named Carl (Arnold Schwarzenegger) to protect Dani and find a way to destroy the REV9.
After the failure of Terminator: Genisys, it would appear that Hollywood refused to give up so easily, and (taking heavy notes from the reboot of Halloween), they decided to try again with Terminator: Dark Fate. Indeed, Dark Fate definitely feels like Genisys 2.0 (it recycles a lot from the previous film: John Connor dies, it's another attempt at "rebooting" the franchise, and it's yet another Terminator film that feels like more of an excuse to create thrilling action set pieces instead of a cohesive and captivating plot). It's certainly better than Genisys, and it's one of the better Terminator sequels....but it still ain't great.
Let's start with the good. The film is well-cast, with Hamilton, Davis, and Schwarzenegger easily carrying the weight of the film. Hamilton steps back into the role of bad-ass, sexy grandma Sarah Connor with ease. After losing John to another T-800 in 1998, she has been adrift and filled with an all-encompassing grief. She failed her mission, and she doesn't know what to do now (She even states at one point that she has started to forget how John looked, and regrets not taking any pictures of him. This decision stemming from a paranoia that if the terminators didn't know how he looked, they wouldn't be able to find him). She has gone globe-trotting, destroying any rogue terminator she finds. It's surprising to realize how much she has been missed during the last 28 years. Just having her in the film elevates the proceedings considerably, and her arc is quite satisfying and sad. It's hard not to grieve along with her.
Mackenzie Davis is fantastic as Grace. She hails from the new post-apocalyptic future, Legion (a new cyber warfare tech that rises up against humanity, turning off all technology. It's essentially a less cool, not as well fleshed out version of Skynet) has created machines to eradicate mankind. After suffering grievous injuries, she volunteers to become an augmented super soldier. Her mission is to travel to the past and protect new resistance leader Dani Ramos. Davis is believable as an action hero, and her scenes of butt-kicking are surprisingly cool and impressive. It helps that she has an interesting backstory that is reminiscent of Kyle Reese's. Davis is easily the stand-out of the new cast.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is back as aging T-800 Carl, who was responsible for terminating John Connor. After his mission was complete, he slowly grew something resembling a conscience and saved a mother and her young son. He became her husband, and the son's step-father of sorts. Raising the son made him realize what he took away from Sarah, and he now spends his days protecting his new family and trying to make amends to Sarah for his mistake. His catch-phrase isn't "I'll be back", but is now "For John". This is easily Arnold's best reprisal of his beloved character in any of the sequels post-T2. He is very funny, charming, believable and sympathetic as Carl the T-800. It's a performance that is reminiscent of the one her gave in Terminator 2, and he makes it clear this is his final performance as the character ( "I won't be back"). It's a fitting, beautiful swan song. What a way to go.
Tim Miller previously directed the stellar Deadpool, and is in the director's seat for Dark Fate. It's clear him and the other people responsible for creating the film are huge fans of the franchise as there are many, many nods to Terminator and Terminator 2 ('Guitars, Cadillacs' even plays in the back ground of one scene). None of the references bothered me, but I could see how they could rub some the wrong way (Some might say "too much fan service"). As director, Miller isn't exactly great, excelling at directing the numerous action scenes (which are thrilling, exciting and cool....when you can make out what's going on. The CGI is also inconsistent. Some of it is very obvious and bad, but some of it is stunningly gorgeous) but not doing so well the rest of the time. The screenplay by David Goyer, Justin Rhodes, and Billy Ray ain't great. The characters are fleshed out enough, but the plot just isn't cool, interesting, or engaging.
It is interesting that most of the first act, and some of the second, is set in Mexico City. This new location makes the characters feel more vulnerable, and more in danger than in previous sequels (The authority figures/police just don't seem as present, or as good at their jobs). Things get even more unsettling when our protagonists have to make a run for the border, and ultimately wind up in a confrontation with Border Patrol. There isn't much commentary to be sampled in Dark Fate, but it's appreciated that the film places us in the shoes of undocumented immigrants and somewhat attempts to show us some of their plights.
Gabriel Luna as the REV9 is one of the more impressive terminators from the sequel films. He is a metal endo-skeleton covered in a liquid metal alloy (think a cooler, more bad-ass version of the TX from Terminator 3). The liquid metal can separate from the metal endo-skeleton to create a 2nd terminator. It's very unsettling to watch the two merge back together after any battle. Unfortunately, his performance just isn't great and he never feels like a real presence in the film. You don't buy him as the next, great, unstoppable killing machine (One thing that is distracting: He can form guns with his hands...something that previous Terminators are explicitly stated can never do. The film gets away with this via the excuse that he comes from Legion, which is different from Skynet, so the old rules don't apply. What exactly the new rules are, aren't made clear.)
Natalia Reyes as Dani Ramos barely makes an impression. The film tries to make her into a new, bad-ass female icon and fails. Her character just isn't interesting, and we don't know enough about her to root for her or buy her as the new John Connor. It doesn't help that all our other protagonists are given so much more material to work with than her. In the end, she is more-so delegated to sit on the sidelines and try to look tough. Not sure if the fault lies with how she was written, how Reyes performed her role, or both. Either way, she is one of the least memorable things in Dark Fate.
Another thing that many will undoubtedly be pissed off by is John Connor's death (two shotgun blasts to the chest). The de-aging used in the scene is seamless and impressive, Sarah and John look exactly the way we remember them...which drives the knife even further into our guts when the termination happens. It doesn't help that John didn't really need to die. John could have easily lived and went into hiding or went on to live a regular life. His death didn't result in Dani Ramos becoming the new leader, Skynet's death did...so his fate feels unearned, meaningless and even more tragic. It would have been better if he wasn't included at all. Such a waste of Edward Furlong (John only appears in around a minute or less of screen time. And no, there isn't an end credits scene where John appears and his death is undone....so don't bother sitting through the credits). The only positive result is that it makes Sarah's story and arc that much more rich and engaging.
Terminator: Dark Fate is an undeniably flawed, but entertaining film. It's certainly one of the better Termintor sequels you can see....but that doesn't mean it earns a recommendation. Despite Sarah Connor, Grace, and Carl being fairly strong, engaging, well-written characters and the action being some of the best and most thrilling you can sample in any of the Terminator sequels post T2, the plot is exceptionally weak and uninteresting and it just feels like the film is trying much too hard with very little payoff. It's so incredibly disappointing that we have had four freakin' Terminator sequels after T2, and not one has been worth its weight in salt. Terminator: Dark Fate tries to be the Halloween 2018 of the Terminator franchise (featuring female characters who struggle with their own versions of grief, ultimately having to work together to defeat a big, bad male) and ultimately fails. In the end, it's just another flawed, failed attempt at rebooting a franchise that should have terminated with T2. Check it out when it is available to rent (worth a view to see the end of Sarah Connor's story, and for Arnold's final swan song as the T-800), but don't bother running to theaters to see it.
3 STARS
Thursday, October 31, 2019
FRIGHT FEST: DOCTOR SLEEP TAKES US BACK TO THE OVERLOOK
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! This year, let's travel back to The Overlook with Doctor Sleep!
In Doctor Sleep, we follow the continuing "adventures" of Danny Torrence (Ewan Mcregor). Years after his unhappy childhood at The Overlook, Danny still suffers from hidden trauma and struggles to cope with his powerful Shining ability. He turns to drink in an effort to numb everything away, and quickly becomes an alcoholic. It's not until he escapes to a tiny town in New England called Frazier that he finally summons up the courage to throw away the bottle once and for all. It's just in time too, for a young girl called Abra (Kyleigh Curran) has the shine too, and a ravenous gang of Shining vampires (called The True Knot) led by an alluring woman named Rose The Hat (Rebecca Ferguson), is hot on her trail, intent on turning her into their next meal. It's up to Danny to mentor Abra and protect her from those who would do them both harm.
Doctor Sleep has a difficult task in front of it. It has to both be faithful to its source material, while remaining a sequel to the horror classic. The Shining (the novel) is quite different from The Shining (the film). For starters, The Overlook burns down/explodes at the end of the novel...so there's that. Not to mention in the novel, the character of Jack Torrence isn't downright evil, but instead a good but deeply flawed man who battles with his demons, only to be swallowed up by them in the end. Happily, the film is able to make peace with both versions of The Shining. As far as an adaptation of the novel Doctor Sleep, it does a fine job. The first two acts are fairly faithful, and the third act is where it becomes something wholly unique and original. It's an above-average adaptation of a mediocre novel (though there are some issues with things it chooses to leave out. For example: We don't spend as much intimate time with The True Knot.).
Doctor Sleep schools us on how to properly use characters that appeared in a prior beloved classic. The film doesn't use de-aging technology, but instead casts actors that look similar to those seen in The Shining (Carl Lumbly portrays Dick Hallorann, Roger Dale Floyd portrays young Danny, and Alex Essoe of Starry Eyes fame portrays Wendy Torrance). All the actors cast look close enough to the original actors, and are believable in their roles while still putting their own slight spin on the characters. Alex Essoe and Carl Lumbly in particular impress. Alex Essoe is a more beautiful version of Wendy/ Shelly Duvall, and Lumbly looks and acts almost exactly like Scatman Crothers/Dick Hallorann. Henry Thomas (aka Elliot in E.T.) also shows up for a surprise role, and is in what might be the best scene in the entire film. He was downright unrecognizable, and was incredibly impressive. Not only did he look like the actor/character he was portraying, he also gave a similar but slightly different performance as well. In the end, not having distracting CGI definitely aids in the believability of these characters and the actors' performances.
Ewan McGregor is well cast as adult Danny Torrence. It's not hard to see young Danny growing up into him. He has a slight pathos to him, and is very easy to root for. Kyleigh Curran as Abra is quite good as well. She adds a surprising menace to her character in certain scenes that really works, but is mostly a jovial but increasingly worried (due to her Shining and The True Knot) middle school prodigy. Rebecca Ferguson is perfect as Rose The Hat, an incredibly sexy but increasingly dangerous and deadly woman who is the head of the True Knot. It's hard to take your eyes off her when she is on, and she manages to be sympathetic, frightening, and appropriately threatening.
As for the supporting cast, they all do fine jobs. Zahn McClarnon is great as Crow Daddy, Rose's second in command. He's pretty likable, despite being bad at his core and is one of the stand-outs of the supporting cast. Cliff Curtis does a fine job as Billy, a close friend to Danny and a conductor of a toy train. His character is a slightly different version of the Billy character from the novel (for starters, the Billy in the novel is much older), but is still someone you would want on your side during a tough time. Carel Struckyn (aka Lurch in the 1990s Addams Family movies and The Moonlight Man in Gerald's Game) is fine in his small role as Grandpa Flick. Jacob Tremblay is fantastic in his minor role as Bradley Trevor, a young kid who falls victim to The True Knot. It's incredibly hard to watch his murder, and his cries of pain and terror are super affecting. It's surprising to see him here, and in such a small role....but he absolutely nails it (Interestingly enough, in the novel Doctor Sleep, his character has the Measels which he passes on to The True Knot when they feast on him. The True Knot slowly begin to die off from the disease, which puts their backs against the wall and is ultimately why they decide to go after Abra with such gusto. This aspect is completely absent from the film though, and is sorely missed as it would have added a little bit to the proceedings.).
Don't walk into Doctor Sleep expecting a thrill-a-minute, terrifying horror film. Like the novel, there isn't a whole lot of forward momentum, and it's a fairly quiet, introspective movie. It's not boring, it's just pretty slow for the first two acts. It's really in it's third act where Doctor Sleep starts to shine (no pun intended), as character's fates are altered and we are re-introduced to The Overlook Hotel, which has been condemned and long-abandoned after the incidents of The Shining. This is when the film puts the pedal to the medal, and Doctor Sleep becomes something pretty thrilling as we are treated to what is essentially a fun and nostalgic haunted house maze inside the crumbling Overlook. The direction by Mike Flannagan, the production design by Maher Ahmad, the art direction by Richie Bearden, Austin Gorg, and Justin O'Neal Miller, and the set decoration by Gene Serdena are all superb. Doctor Sleep's Overlook looks exactly like the classic Overlook in The Shining (there's even a cool scene early on that replicates the office of Mr. Ullman, for no clear reason other than to give the audience some serious willies). It's just nice to re-visit a classic location, it's almost like coming home in a weird way. There's a lot of fun to be had inside The Overlook in Doctor Sleep, although there are some parts that border on feeling like a re-make. That said, it's nice to have the ol' girl appear for a final curtain bow and to get to explore her halls once again (the score by The Newton Brothers even resembles that of The Shining in odd moments, which is nice. The end credits even roll to the tune of Midnight, The Stars and You which is the same song that The Shining ends with).
Doctor Sleep ends on a satisfying, bitter-sweet note and closes out The Shining films in appropriate fashion. Doctor Sleep certainly won't win over everyone who sees it. Hardcore fans of Doctor Sleep (the novel) may be disappointed or frustrated with some of the changes made. Mega fans of The Shining (the film), may be unhappy with how few scares and chills this film has. So, your mileage may vary. All that being said, Doctor Sleep is still a mostly entertaining, fun, freaky film that is elevated to something somewhat greater due to its thrilling final act and it's superb performances from its large cast. It makes for an easy recommendation.
Doctor Sleep gets released Nov. 8 2019
3.5 STARS
And so ends another Fright Fest. Till next year, pleasant frightmares, ghosties and ghoulies!
In Doctor Sleep, we follow the continuing "adventures" of Danny Torrence (Ewan Mcregor). Years after his unhappy childhood at The Overlook, Danny still suffers from hidden trauma and struggles to cope with his powerful Shining ability. He turns to drink in an effort to numb everything away, and quickly becomes an alcoholic. It's not until he escapes to a tiny town in New England called Frazier that he finally summons up the courage to throw away the bottle once and for all. It's just in time too, for a young girl called Abra (Kyleigh Curran) has the shine too, and a ravenous gang of Shining vampires (called The True Knot) led by an alluring woman named Rose The Hat (Rebecca Ferguson), is hot on her trail, intent on turning her into their next meal. It's up to Danny to mentor Abra and protect her from those who would do them both harm.
Doctor Sleep has a difficult task in front of it. It has to both be faithful to its source material, while remaining a sequel to the horror classic. The Shining (the novel) is quite different from The Shining (the film). For starters, The Overlook burns down/explodes at the end of the novel...so there's that. Not to mention in the novel, the character of Jack Torrence isn't downright evil, but instead a good but deeply flawed man who battles with his demons, only to be swallowed up by them in the end. Happily, the film is able to make peace with both versions of The Shining. As far as an adaptation of the novel Doctor Sleep, it does a fine job. The first two acts are fairly faithful, and the third act is where it becomes something wholly unique and original. It's an above-average adaptation of a mediocre novel (though there are some issues with things it chooses to leave out. For example: We don't spend as much intimate time with The True Knot.).
Doctor Sleep schools us on how to properly use characters that appeared in a prior beloved classic. The film doesn't use de-aging technology, but instead casts actors that look similar to those seen in The Shining (Carl Lumbly portrays Dick Hallorann, Roger Dale Floyd portrays young Danny, and Alex Essoe of Starry Eyes fame portrays Wendy Torrance). All the actors cast look close enough to the original actors, and are believable in their roles while still putting their own slight spin on the characters. Alex Essoe and Carl Lumbly in particular impress. Alex Essoe is a more beautiful version of Wendy/ Shelly Duvall, and Lumbly looks and acts almost exactly like Scatman Crothers/Dick Hallorann. Henry Thomas (aka Elliot in E.T.) also shows up for a surprise role, and is in what might be the best scene in the entire film. He was downright unrecognizable, and was incredibly impressive. Not only did he look like the actor/character he was portraying, he also gave a similar but slightly different performance as well. In the end, not having distracting CGI definitely aids in the believability of these characters and the actors' performances.
Ewan McGregor is well cast as adult Danny Torrence. It's not hard to see young Danny growing up into him. He has a slight pathos to him, and is very easy to root for. Kyleigh Curran as Abra is quite good as well. She adds a surprising menace to her character in certain scenes that really works, but is mostly a jovial but increasingly worried (due to her Shining and The True Knot) middle school prodigy. Rebecca Ferguson is perfect as Rose The Hat, an incredibly sexy but increasingly dangerous and deadly woman who is the head of the True Knot. It's hard to take your eyes off her when she is on, and she manages to be sympathetic, frightening, and appropriately threatening.
As for the supporting cast, they all do fine jobs. Zahn McClarnon is great as Crow Daddy, Rose's second in command. He's pretty likable, despite being bad at his core and is one of the stand-outs of the supporting cast. Cliff Curtis does a fine job as Billy, a close friend to Danny and a conductor of a toy train. His character is a slightly different version of the Billy character from the novel (for starters, the Billy in the novel is much older), but is still someone you would want on your side during a tough time. Carel Struckyn (aka Lurch in the 1990s Addams Family movies and The Moonlight Man in Gerald's Game) is fine in his small role as Grandpa Flick. Jacob Tremblay is fantastic in his minor role as Bradley Trevor, a young kid who falls victim to The True Knot. It's incredibly hard to watch his murder, and his cries of pain and terror are super affecting. It's surprising to see him here, and in such a small role....but he absolutely nails it (Interestingly enough, in the novel Doctor Sleep, his character has the Measels which he passes on to The True Knot when they feast on him. The True Knot slowly begin to die off from the disease, which puts their backs against the wall and is ultimately why they decide to go after Abra with such gusto. This aspect is completely absent from the film though, and is sorely missed as it would have added a little bit to the proceedings.).
Don't walk into Doctor Sleep expecting a thrill-a-minute, terrifying horror film. Like the novel, there isn't a whole lot of forward momentum, and it's a fairly quiet, introspective movie. It's not boring, it's just pretty slow for the first two acts. It's really in it's third act where Doctor Sleep starts to shine (no pun intended), as character's fates are altered and we are re-introduced to The Overlook Hotel, which has been condemned and long-abandoned after the incidents of The Shining. This is when the film puts the pedal to the medal, and Doctor Sleep becomes something pretty thrilling as we are treated to what is essentially a fun and nostalgic haunted house maze inside the crumbling Overlook. The direction by Mike Flannagan, the production design by Maher Ahmad, the art direction by Richie Bearden, Austin Gorg, and Justin O'Neal Miller, and the set decoration by Gene Serdena are all superb. Doctor Sleep's Overlook looks exactly like the classic Overlook in The Shining (there's even a cool scene early on that replicates the office of Mr. Ullman, for no clear reason other than to give the audience some serious willies). It's just nice to re-visit a classic location, it's almost like coming home in a weird way. There's a lot of fun to be had inside The Overlook in Doctor Sleep, although there are some parts that border on feeling like a re-make. That said, it's nice to have the ol' girl appear for a final curtain bow and to get to explore her halls once again (the score by The Newton Brothers even resembles that of The Shining in odd moments, which is nice. The end credits even roll to the tune of Midnight, The Stars and You which is the same song that The Shining ends with).
Doctor Sleep ends on a satisfying, bitter-sweet note and closes out The Shining films in appropriate fashion. Doctor Sleep certainly won't win over everyone who sees it. Hardcore fans of Doctor Sleep (the novel) may be disappointed or frustrated with some of the changes made. Mega fans of The Shining (the film), may be unhappy with how few scares and chills this film has. So, your mileage may vary. All that being said, Doctor Sleep is still a mostly entertaining, fun, freaky film that is elevated to something somewhat greater due to its thrilling final act and it's superb performances from its large cast. It makes for an easy recommendation.
Doctor Sleep gets released Nov. 8 2019
3.5 STARS
And so ends another Fright Fest. Till next year, pleasant frightmares, ghosties and ghoulies!
Sunday, October 27, 2019
FRIGHT FEST: DAYBREAK WILL GIVE YOU WHIPLASH
In Daybreak, we follow Josh Wheeler (Colin Ford) and his adventures after the apocalypse. After a biological nuke drops in Glendale, CA most of the adults are eviscerated and the ones that survive are turned into mindless zombie-esque cannibals. For some odd reason though, everyone under the age of 18 is unaffected and survives, inevitably splitting off into various different cliques/groups/tribes who all continually fight for control. Before the bomb, Josh was a kind-hearted loner who was madly in love with (and dating) high-school queen Sam Dean (Sophie Simnett). After the apocalypse, Josh is thriving in the new world, living it up in his swanky apartment that's stocked with everything he could ever want or need. There's only one problem: Sam is missing, and Josh has been desperately searching for her so he can make amends and maybe win her back over. He winds up at a deserted shopping mall where he teams up with jock-turned-pacifist samurai Wesley Fists (Austin Crute) and adorable but unhinged pre-teen psycho Angelica Green (Aylvia Alyn Lind). Together, they form their own clique/group/tribe, and set out to save Sam and rid post-apocalyptic Glendale from a dangerous cannibalistic madman named Baron Triumph who has some very big, bad plans for the new world.
All of our leads do superb jobs (though Angelica does become a little grating as the season rolls on). The stand-outs by far are Colin Ford as Josh and Sophie Simnett as Sam. They make a super-cute (and super ship-able) couple. Colin carries most of the weight of the show as our "hero", and does so exceedingly well. He is easy to root for, and hides some nuances that are appreciated and make him more than just an audience cypher. Sophie Simnett as Sam is super easy to fall for as she is both pretty and kind, but as the show continually teases throughout its 10 episode first season, she hides layers we aren't even aware of. Aylvia Alyn Lind as Angelica is the rare pre-teen psycho who is legitimately scary at times and always unpredictable. As I said previously though, her story just isn't as interesting as the other characters' stories are. Austin Crates as Wesley Fists is great as a riff on the samurai with a strict code. He plays a tormented ex-jock who is trying to atone for past sins by assisting those in need of help and by swearing off violence. He's also gay, which plays a huge role in his story. It's nice to see a show that has a LGBTQ character as one of the heroes, and Wesley's story is one of the more interesting ones in Daybreak.
Daybreak also has a fantastic supporting cast. There's kind high school teacher turned crazy cannibal witch Ms. Crumble (Krytsa Rodriguez), super-woke principal Burr (Matthew Broderick) who genuinely cares for and would do anything to help his students, loser jerk Eli (Gregory Kasyan) who has claimed an abandoned shopping mall as his own, and Mad Max-esque villain Turbo (Cody Kearsley) who rules over the super violent Jocks and whom Wesley has some beef with. Each has their own stories to share, and each are equally interesting. Matthew Broderick in particular is a joy as Burr, and his story has some real twists and turns. Broderick is asked to juggle a lot here, and he mostly succeeds. Krysta Rodriguez as Ms. Crumble is surprisingly sympathetic and sad, her story has some nice reveals and surprises hidden inside it that make her character one of the more interesting and well-fleshed out ones you can find on Daybreak. Gregory Kasyan as Eli makes for a nice antagonist that is fun and funny, while hiding a touch of pathos behind his loser douche-bro facade. Cody Kearsley is also surprisingly likable, cool, and funny as a mostly-mute would-be villain. It's interesting that in Daybreak, even our villains are sympathetic and likable.
Daybreak hits the ground running like a kid jacked up on sugar, caffeine, and cocaine. It has a speedy, breathless momentum that it isn't quite able to maintain throughout its ten episode first season. The show is hyper-stylized, hyper-ADHD, and easily distracted (It's also consistently very funny). Most of the ten episodes aren't focused on the main plot of saving Sam and stopping Baron Triumph, but are instead dedicated to exploring all of our main and supporting character's back stories. This can get frustrating. It's appreciated to find a show that is so dedicated to its characters and their development (and to the art of expertly crafted and timed surprises, twists, and reveals), but it gets to the point where you may find yourself wishing they would just get back to the plot. There are A LOT of flashbacks, and each character has their own distinctive voice (for example: Josh is Ferris Bueller-esque. he constantly breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer and has a mostly laid-back attitude, while Wesley has The RZA narrate his back story like it's a ninja/samurai origin story). It can all feel like a little too much at times, but I'll always take a show that tries too hard and attempts to tackle a lot, over a show that doesn't try to do anything new and is more than content to sit back and rest on its laurels.
Daybreak ends up being more of a mixed bag than anything else, with it's positive elements easily outweighing its negative and more frustrating ones. Season one ends on one helluva mic drop/surprise twist that may leave some feeling a little sad/disappointed and uncomfortable (It definitely doesn't end at all in the way you would hope or expect it to, introducing us to a potential new villain for season two. You gotta say this much for Daybreak, it's always challenging our notions/perceptions of who these characters really are). Daybreak is a show that is fiercely dedicated to its characters, their development, and having a ton of fun. It certainly won't be for everyone, but you have to appreciate a show that is so fearless, ballsy and surprisingly nuanced. Daybreak is like the love-child of Mad Max, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Zombieland, and Detention (a little known indie-horror-comedy film). If you do decide to make the trek into Daybreak's vivid, insane post-apocalyptic world, throw away your Adderall, buckle your seat belts, and hang the fuck on...it's going to be a wild, bumpy, fun ride.
4 STARS
If there is a Season 2 (PLEASE GOD let there be a season 2), I'm thinking it might be better than Season One since there would (hopefully) be less flashbacks because we know all of our characters' stories, and so maybe they could focus more on plot next time around.
It's also weird that the show references on occasion that High School is supposed to be the time where you figure out who you are. Maybe I'm alone here, but for me that time was College.
Daybreak compares itself to Arthurian legend at one point, a comparison that would be apt if it spent more time focused on plot instead of fleshing out every character (and their back story) that is on screen.
All of our leads do superb jobs (though Angelica does become a little grating as the season rolls on). The stand-outs by far are Colin Ford as Josh and Sophie Simnett as Sam. They make a super-cute (and super ship-able) couple. Colin carries most of the weight of the show as our "hero", and does so exceedingly well. He is easy to root for, and hides some nuances that are appreciated and make him more than just an audience cypher. Sophie Simnett as Sam is super easy to fall for as she is both pretty and kind, but as the show continually teases throughout its 10 episode first season, she hides layers we aren't even aware of. Aylvia Alyn Lind as Angelica is the rare pre-teen psycho who is legitimately scary at times and always unpredictable. As I said previously though, her story just isn't as interesting as the other characters' stories are. Austin Crates as Wesley Fists is great as a riff on the samurai with a strict code. He plays a tormented ex-jock who is trying to atone for past sins by assisting those in need of help and by swearing off violence. He's also gay, which plays a huge role in his story. It's nice to see a show that has a LGBTQ character as one of the heroes, and Wesley's story is one of the more interesting ones in Daybreak.
Daybreak also has a fantastic supporting cast. There's kind high school teacher turned crazy cannibal witch Ms. Crumble (Krytsa Rodriguez), super-woke principal Burr (Matthew Broderick) who genuinely cares for and would do anything to help his students, loser jerk Eli (Gregory Kasyan) who has claimed an abandoned shopping mall as his own, and Mad Max-esque villain Turbo (Cody Kearsley) who rules over the super violent Jocks and whom Wesley has some beef with. Each has their own stories to share, and each are equally interesting. Matthew Broderick in particular is a joy as Burr, and his story has some real twists and turns. Broderick is asked to juggle a lot here, and he mostly succeeds. Krysta Rodriguez as Ms. Crumble is surprisingly sympathetic and sad, her story has some nice reveals and surprises hidden inside it that make her character one of the more interesting and well-fleshed out ones you can find on Daybreak. Gregory Kasyan as Eli makes for a nice antagonist that is fun and funny, while hiding a touch of pathos behind his loser douche-bro facade. Cody Kearsley is also surprisingly likable, cool, and funny as a mostly-mute would-be villain. It's interesting that in Daybreak, even our villains are sympathetic and likable.
Daybreak hits the ground running like a kid jacked up on sugar, caffeine, and cocaine. It has a speedy, breathless momentum that it isn't quite able to maintain throughout its ten episode first season. The show is hyper-stylized, hyper-ADHD, and easily distracted (It's also consistently very funny). Most of the ten episodes aren't focused on the main plot of saving Sam and stopping Baron Triumph, but are instead dedicated to exploring all of our main and supporting character's back stories. This can get frustrating. It's appreciated to find a show that is so dedicated to its characters and their development (and to the art of expertly crafted and timed surprises, twists, and reveals), but it gets to the point where you may find yourself wishing they would just get back to the plot. There are A LOT of flashbacks, and each character has their own distinctive voice (for example: Josh is Ferris Bueller-esque. he constantly breaks the fourth wall to address the viewer and has a mostly laid-back attitude, while Wesley has The RZA narrate his back story like it's a ninja/samurai origin story). It can all feel like a little too much at times, but I'll always take a show that tries too hard and attempts to tackle a lot, over a show that doesn't try to do anything new and is more than content to sit back and rest on its laurels.
Daybreak ends up being more of a mixed bag than anything else, with it's positive elements easily outweighing its negative and more frustrating ones. Season one ends on one helluva mic drop/surprise twist that may leave some feeling a little sad/disappointed and uncomfortable (It definitely doesn't end at all in the way you would hope or expect it to, introducing us to a potential new villain for season two. You gotta say this much for Daybreak, it's always challenging our notions/perceptions of who these characters really are). Daybreak is a show that is fiercely dedicated to its characters, their development, and having a ton of fun. It certainly won't be for everyone, but you have to appreciate a show that is so fearless, ballsy and surprisingly nuanced. Daybreak is like the love-child of Mad Max, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Zombieland, and Detention (a little known indie-horror-comedy film). If you do decide to make the trek into Daybreak's vivid, insane post-apocalyptic world, throw away your Adderall, buckle your seat belts, and hang the fuck on...it's going to be a wild, bumpy, fun ride.
4 STARS
If there is a Season 2 (PLEASE GOD let there be a season 2), I'm thinking it might be better than Season One since there would (hopefully) be less flashbacks because we know all of our characters' stories, and so maybe they could focus more on plot next time around.
It's also weird that the show references on occasion that High School is supposed to be the time where you figure out who you are. Maybe I'm alone here, but for me that time was College.
Daybreak compares itself to Arthurian legend at one point, a comparison that would be apt if it spent more time focused on plot instead of fleshing out every character (and their back story) that is on screen.
Saturday, October 26, 2019
FRIGHT FEST: ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK IS A TRUE THROWBACK
In Nickelodeon's limited series reboot of the hit 90s horror-for-kids tv show, Are You Afraid of The Dark?, we follow Rachel (Lyliana Wray) as she moves to a new town where she feels isolated and alone. It isn't long before Midnight Society members Graham (Jeremy Ray Taylor), Gavin (Sam Ashe Arnold), Louise (Tamara Smart), and Akiko (Miya Cech) notice her and induct her into their ranks. Rachel's recurring nightmares of a freaky figure named Mr. Top Hat (Rafael Casal, who previously starred in Blindspotting)); who presides over a sinister carnival dubbed The Carnival of Doom; make the perfect fodder for her first scary story. Unfortunately, the next day the group awakens to find that The Carnival of Doom is actually real and has arrived in their town. As kids start to disappear, The Midnight Society realize it may be up to them to investigate and end Mr. Top Hat's evil reign.
The cast all do great jobs, with the stand outs being Sam Ashe Arnold as Gavin, Jeremy Ray Taylor as Graham, Lyliana Wray as Rachel, and Rafael Casal as Mr. Top Hat (Dean Israelite directs and does a stand up job. It's certainly better than his previous efforts: Battle L.A., Project Almanac and Power Rangers). Jeremy Ray Taylor shines as Graham, who's super power is his love of all things horror. He is quite funny, likable and relate able. He's not one of the cool or popular kids in school, but he doesn't seem all that bothered by this, secure in his own skin. Sam Ashe Arnold fits his role as the kind, inclusive, cool boy who Rachel harbors a crush on. They both have nice chemistry together, and it's easy to buy them as close friends and a couple. Lyliana Wray is well cast as the lead, managing to come across as strong despite her fears and insecurities (A good role model for young girls). Rafael Casal is a lot of fun as Mr. Top Hot, putting on a grand, impressive, cool, and at times twitchy performance. He is just about perfect in the villain role, to the point where you honestly don't want to see him defeated in the end. Casal is clearly relishing his role, and is guilty of mugging at times. That said, it's him and Jeremy Ray Taylor as Graham that easily emerge as the most memorable parts of this mini-series.
Are You Afraid of The Dark is sure to remind most of the made-for-tv-horror-for-kids movies they may have grown up with, films like The Scream Team, The Halloweentown films, Phantom of The Megaplex, Under Wraps, Don't Look Under The Bed, and Mom's Got A Date With A Vampire. This modern re-imagining easily joins the ranks of these cool little classics. It's nice to get a return to that style of film making, and Are You Afraid of The Dark resembles a throw back to those glory days.
In the end, it's hard not to be impressed by this modern update of Are You Afraid of The Dark. The setting of The Carnival of Doom is pretty darned cool, the villain Mr. Top Hot is imposing and fun, and the members of The Midnight Society are all likable and work well together. The mini-series is atmospheric, creepy and might scare young ones at times, but it's never quite enough to give them nightmares. Are You Afraid of The Dark is certainly one of the best made-for-tv-horror-for-kids films that's come out in a long, long time. It's definitely worth a watch for any horror fan, young or old.
4 STARS
The cast all do great jobs, with the stand outs being Sam Ashe Arnold as Gavin, Jeremy Ray Taylor as Graham, Lyliana Wray as Rachel, and Rafael Casal as Mr. Top Hat (Dean Israelite directs and does a stand up job. It's certainly better than his previous efforts: Battle L.A., Project Almanac and Power Rangers). Jeremy Ray Taylor shines as Graham, who's super power is his love of all things horror. He is quite funny, likable and relate able. He's not one of the cool or popular kids in school, but he doesn't seem all that bothered by this, secure in his own skin. Sam Ashe Arnold fits his role as the kind, inclusive, cool boy who Rachel harbors a crush on. They both have nice chemistry together, and it's easy to buy them as close friends and a couple. Lyliana Wray is well cast as the lead, managing to come across as strong despite her fears and insecurities (A good role model for young girls). Rafael Casal is a lot of fun as Mr. Top Hot, putting on a grand, impressive, cool, and at times twitchy performance. He is just about perfect in the villain role, to the point where you honestly don't want to see him defeated in the end. Casal is clearly relishing his role, and is guilty of mugging at times. That said, it's him and Jeremy Ray Taylor as Graham that easily emerge as the most memorable parts of this mini-series.
Are You Afraid of The Dark is sure to remind most of the made-for-tv-horror-for-kids movies they may have grown up with, films like The Scream Team, The Halloweentown films, Phantom of The Megaplex, Under Wraps, Don't Look Under The Bed, and Mom's Got A Date With A Vampire. This modern re-imagining easily joins the ranks of these cool little classics. It's nice to get a return to that style of film making, and Are You Afraid of The Dark resembles a throw back to those glory days.
In the end, it's hard not to be impressed by this modern update of Are You Afraid of The Dark. The setting of The Carnival of Doom is pretty darned cool, the villain Mr. Top Hot is imposing and fun, and the members of The Midnight Society are all likable and work well together. The mini-series is atmospheric, creepy and might scare young ones at times, but it's never quite enough to give them nightmares. Are You Afraid of The Dark is certainly one of the best made-for-tv-horror-for-kids films that's come out in a long, long time. It's definitely worth a watch for any horror fan, young or old.
4 STARS
Saturday, October 19, 2019
FRIGHT FEST: ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP IS A BLAST TO THE PAST
the first Zombieland is a certified horror classic. It's sequel definitely has decent sized shoes to fill...is it up to the task?
In Zombieland: Double Tap we return to the United States of Zombieland ten years after the first film. Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) and Wichita (Emma Stone) are somewhat happily in a relationship and Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) is enjoying being a bad-ass while doubling as a flawed father figure to Little Rock (Abigal Breslin), who is more than ready to leave the nest. Long story short: Little Rock ends up hooking up with Berkely (Avan Jogia), a pretentious wanna-be musician, and together they run away. Furious and concerned, our group gives chase across Zombieland.
The first thing that was pretty great about Double Tap, was the zombies. It's been ten years,and the zombies have evolved. Now we have dumb zombies named Homers, stealthy zombies named Ninjas, and smart zombies named Hawkings. These new zombie types are nothing compared to the newest threat, a super-enhanced and evolved zombie that is alarmingly difficult to kill (They can take several head shots, dodge bullets, and just keep on coming pretty much no matter what). These baddies are called T-800s. All the new zombie types give the film a bit of a Left 4 Dead feel, one of the better zombie video games out there. It's a vibe that is both cool and appreciated. The zombie action, kills, and gore are still top notch and super groovy as well.
The talent both behind and in front of the camera is back. Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese are back writing Double Tap(They also wrote Deadpool and Deadpool 2. You can tell they have gotten better at writing since the first Zombieland). Ruben Fleischer returns as well to the directing chair after his middling Venom film. The script still sizzles most of the time, and the directing continues to be pretty darn good. This sequel still definitely feels like Zombieland.
Of course, our four main leads are back in the saddle too, and their characters are pretty much exactly the same as we remember them. Tallahassee is still a hyper-aggressive male (and is obsessed with Elvis now instead of twinkies), Columbus is still faithfully following his rules and continues to be socially awkward (no worries, he is still a boss at kicking zombie ass), and Wichita is still deathly afraid of commitment. Watching this sequel and getting to spend more quality time with our group feels like coming home in a weird way.
Joining our leads is Zoey Deutch as Madison, a super hot, super dumb, and super sweet college girl who might prove to be trouble for Columbus' and Wichita's relationship. She easily steals some of the scenes in the film, and is consistently hilarious. It's kind of hard not to fall in love with her. Along for the chaos are Luke Wilson as Albuquerque and Thomas Middleditch as Flagstaff, odd mirrors of Tallahassee and Columbus, respectively. They are essentially glorified cameos, but damned if their screen time isn't super entertaining and funny (They also star is one of the most memorable sequences in the film. You'll know it when you see it). Rosario Dawson appears as a love interest for Tallahassee, although she really acts as more of a deus ex machina in the film.
Zombieland: Double Tap feels very much like the first film, in a good way. That said, it does repeat a few things from Zombieland. Tallahassee has an obsession, Little rock and Wichita run away with the group's car, Wichita leaves a poor excuse of a note, there is a celebrity cameo, and there's a few set pieces throughout plus a big one at the end (although Double Tap doesn't quite nail the ending. Zombieland's ending was so cool and perfect, that it would be almost impossible to beat, but you can't fault Double Tap for trying).
Zombieland: Double Tap doesn't do much different from it's predecessor. Unlike it's zombie antagonists...it hasn't exactly evolved. It's a film that takes us all back to 2009, a simpler time. Honestly, it's not a negative in any way. Sometimes it's nice to see a film that knows what it is, knows what works, and knows what doesn't work. It's the rare film that is completely comfortable in its own skin. The talent in front of and behind the camera is still strong, the film is still knee-slappingly hilarious most of the time (Very few of the jokes fall flat), and it still has a good heart at its core. Zombieland: Double Tap is a film about family, and finding home in the family you choose. It's a sweet message that resonates surprisingly well. Zombieland: Double Tap is the rare sequel that is every bit as good as the original. Buy a ticket and buckle your seat belt, because it's time to nut up or shut up. This is Springs, signing off from Zombieland.
3.5 STARS
Make sure you stay for the mid-credits scene!!!!
In Zombieland: Double Tap we return to the United States of Zombieland ten years after the first film. Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) and Wichita (Emma Stone) are somewhat happily in a relationship and Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) is enjoying being a bad-ass while doubling as a flawed father figure to Little Rock (Abigal Breslin), who is more than ready to leave the nest. Long story short: Little Rock ends up hooking up with Berkely (Avan Jogia), a pretentious wanna-be musician, and together they run away. Furious and concerned, our group gives chase across Zombieland.
The first thing that was pretty great about Double Tap, was the zombies. It's been ten years,and the zombies have evolved. Now we have dumb zombies named Homers, stealthy zombies named Ninjas, and smart zombies named Hawkings. These new zombie types are nothing compared to the newest threat, a super-enhanced and evolved zombie that is alarmingly difficult to kill (They can take several head shots, dodge bullets, and just keep on coming pretty much no matter what). These baddies are called T-800s. All the new zombie types give the film a bit of a Left 4 Dead feel, one of the better zombie video games out there. It's a vibe that is both cool and appreciated. The zombie action, kills, and gore are still top notch and super groovy as well.
The talent both behind and in front of the camera is back. Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese are back writing Double Tap(They also wrote Deadpool and Deadpool 2. You can tell they have gotten better at writing since the first Zombieland). Ruben Fleischer returns as well to the directing chair after his middling Venom film. The script still sizzles most of the time, and the directing continues to be pretty darn good. This sequel still definitely feels like Zombieland.
Of course, our four main leads are back in the saddle too, and their characters are pretty much exactly the same as we remember them. Tallahassee is still a hyper-aggressive male (and is obsessed with Elvis now instead of twinkies), Columbus is still faithfully following his rules and continues to be socially awkward (no worries, he is still a boss at kicking zombie ass), and Wichita is still deathly afraid of commitment. Watching this sequel and getting to spend more quality time with our group feels like coming home in a weird way.
Joining our leads is Zoey Deutch as Madison, a super hot, super dumb, and super sweet college girl who might prove to be trouble for Columbus' and Wichita's relationship. She easily steals some of the scenes in the film, and is consistently hilarious. It's kind of hard not to fall in love with her. Along for the chaos are Luke Wilson as Albuquerque and Thomas Middleditch as Flagstaff, odd mirrors of Tallahassee and Columbus, respectively. They are essentially glorified cameos, but damned if their screen time isn't super entertaining and funny (They also star is one of the most memorable sequences in the film. You'll know it when you see it). Rosario Dawson appears as a love interest for Tallahassee, although she really acts as more of a deus ex machina in the film.
Zombieland: Double Tap feels very much like the first film, in a good way. That said, it does repeat a few things from Zombieland. Tallahassee has an obsession, Little rock and Wichita run away with the group's car, Wichita leaves a poor excuse of a note, there is a celebrity cameo, and there's a few set pieces throughout plus a big one at the end (although Double Tap doesn't quite nail the ending. Zombieland's ending was so cool and perfect, that it would be almost impossible to beat, but you can't fault Double Tap for trying).
Zombieland: Double Tap doesn't do much different from it's predecessor. Unlike it's zombie antagonists...it hasn't exactly evolved. It's a film that takes us all back to 2009, a simpler time. Honestly, it's not a negative in any way. Sometimes it's nice to see a film that knows what it is, knows what works, and knows what doesn't work. It's the rare film that is completely comfortable in its own skin. The talent in front of and behind the camera is still strong, the film is still knee-slappingly hilarious most of the time (Very few of the jokes fall flat), and it still has a good heart at its core. Zombieland: Double Tap is a film about family, and finding home in the family you choose. It's a sweet message that resonates surprisingly well. Zombieland: Double Tap is the rare sequel that is every bit as good as the original. Buy a ticket and buckle your seat belt, because it's time to nut up or shut up. This is Springs, signing off from Zombieland.
3.5 STARS
Make sure you stay for the mid-credits scene!!!!
Saturday, October 12, 2019
FRIGHT FEST: LET'S GET LOST IN THE TALL GRASS
Man, when Netflix hits it out of the park, they REALLY hit it out of the park.
In The Tall Grass is the latest Stephen King film, based on a novella he wrote with his son Joe Hill on Oct. 9 2009 in Esquire magazine (The film varies a great deal from the novella). In it, we follow close siblings Cal (Avery Whitted) and heavily pregnant Becky (Laysla De Oliveira). Becky has just left boyfriend Travis (Harrison Gilbertson, who looks remarkably like Emile Hirsche), and is on her way with Cal to give her baby to a family in need of a child. After a quick stop by a field of grass to throw up (morning sickness), Becky hears a child calling for help deep in the grass. Becky and Cal quickly venture into the grass to help, only to be immediately separated and lost themselves. Once in the grass, they meet a family consisting of Ross (the father, played by Patrick Wilson), Natalie (the wife, played by Rachel Willson), and Tobin (the son. played by Will Buie Jr.) who are also lost and separated from each other. Later, Travis shows up looking for Becky, claiming she has been missing and wants to make amends. Unfortunately, there is a large rock with strange powers in the grass, and Ross seems to have gone mad from its power and has started to worship it (even the grass seems oddly alive and ready to worship the rock). It's up to Travis to attempt to lead the remaining group out of harms way and back to safety.
In The Tall Grass is directed and written by Vincenzo Natali, who previously directed Cube, Splice and Haunter (He also wrote Cube and Splice) . This film seems right up his alley, and he thrives within the grass, managing to do some pretty mind-blowing and mind-warping things. Oh yes, this film definitely messes with your mind and keeps you on the edge of your couch for the entirety of its run time (It also feels more well-formed and complete than the novella it's based on). Every actor is well cast and impresses, although the best of the bunch are Harrison Gilbertson as Travis and Patrick Wilson as Ross. Gilbertson is immensely likable and easy to root for as our "hero", and Patrick Wilson is terrifying and creepy as our "villain". Travis is pretty intelligent and sympathetic. We root for him to overcome the enormous odds that are stacked against him, and indeed he might not make it out of this alive. Wilson plays against type here and absolutely nails his role as the father who has lost his mind and has taken to hunting down the remaining members of the group, with the intent to either murder them or force them to touch the rock so they too can feel its power (Oh yes, this film is definitely talking about religion, and maybe even faith healing in a weird way).
My only real complaint is that there is a good deal of CGI here, and some of it is painfully obvious, though it definitely adds to the surreal-ness of the whole film and helps to further establish the tone, atmosphere and feel of the movie. In The Tall Grass seems to be made on a smaller budget, but this doesn't hurt the film, instead adding to its odd charm. With a great script, a great cast/great acting, and a great director, In The Tall Grass is yet another horror film worth remembering this year. It's dark (as in tone), freaky, scary, atmospheric, smart, clever and memorable. It's an easy recommendation this Halloween season.
4 STARS
In The Tall Grass is the latest Stephen King film, based on a novella he wrote with his son Joe Hill on Oct. 9 2009 in Esquire magazine (The film varies a great deal from the novella). In it, we follow close siblings Cal (Avery Whitted) and heavily pregnant Becky (Laysla De Oliveira). Becky has just left boyfriend Travis (Harrison Gilbertson, who looks remarkably like Emile Hirsche), and is on her way with Cal to give her baby to a family in need of a child. After a quick stop by a field of grass to throw up (morning sickness), Becky hears a child calling for help deep in the grass. Becky and Cal quickly venture into the grass to help, only to be immediately separated and lost themselves. Once in the grass, they meet a family consisting of Ross (the father, played by Patrick Wilson), Natalie (the wife, played by Rachel Willson), and Tobin (the son. played by Will Buie Jr.) who are also lost and separated from each other. Later, Travis shows up looking for Becky, claiming she has been missing and wants to make amends. Unfortunately, there is a large rock with strange powers in the grass, and Ross seems to have gone mad from its power and has started to worship it (even the grass seems oddly alive and ready to worship the rock). It's up to Travis to attempt to lead the remaining group out of harms way and back to safety.
In The Tall Grass is directed and written by Vincenzo Natali, who previously directed Cube, Splice and Haunter (He also wrote Cube and Splice) . This film seems right up his alley, and he thrives within the grass, managing to do some pretty mind-blowing and mind-warping things. Oh yes, this film definitely messes with your mind and keeps you on the edge of your couch for the entirety of its run time (It also feels more well-formed and complete than the novella it's based on). Every actor is well cast and impresses, although the best of the bunch are Harrison Gilbertson as Travis and Patrick Wilson as Ross. Gilbertson is immensely likable and easy to root for as our "hero", and Patrick Wilson is terrifying and creepy as our "villain". Travis is pretty intelligent and sympathetic. We root for him to overcome the enormous odds that are stacked against him, and indeed he might not make it out of this alive. Wilson plays against type here and absolutely nails his role as the father who has lost his mind and has taken to hunting down the remaining members of the group, with the intent to either murder them or force them to touch the rock so they too can feel its power (Oh yes, this film is definitely talking about religion, and maybe even faith healing in a weird way).
My only real complaint is that there is a good deal of CGI here, and some of it is painfully obvious, though it definitely adds to the surreal-ness of the whole film and helps to further establish the tone, atmosphere and feel of the movie. In The Tall Grass seems to be made on a smaller budget, but this doesn't hurt the film, instead adding to its odd charm. With a great script, a great cast/great acting, and a great director, In The Tall Grass is yet another horror film worth remembering this year. It's dark (as in tone), freaky, scary, atmospheric, smart, clever and memorable. It's an easy recommendation this Halloween season.
4 STARS
FRIGHT FEST: HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS 29
Hello everyone, this is your ghost host with the most most, back again for my review of the ultimate Halloween event: Halloween Horror Nights 29. After missing last year's event, I made a point not to miss this year's. So, how was it compared to other year's? Is HHN still the scariest and most fun or is it starting to sag just a little? Let's delve right in and find out!
SCAREZONES
VANITY BALL
"Beauty is pain. Literally. In the streets of Hollywood, your flesh becomes the canvas as blade wielding artists slice up willing participants into horrific living works of art. Here, going under the knife takes on a whole other meaning."
I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time in this zone. It was my last zone of the night, and I walked through when it was fairly empty. The costumes and makeup I saw were pretty nice, and the whole zone felt fierce (in an LGBTQ way). I sensed that this was a pretty active, fun zone. There were mini-stages set up throughout wit doctors either operating on patients or preparing to operate, throughout the zone patients wondered, waiting to pounce. It also had a runway with an announcer, although it wasn't being used when I traversed the zone (likely due to it being so late). I honestly would have enjoyed walking through the zone when it was more alive, but I still had fun in it nonetheless.
4 STARS (8/10)
ANARCH-CADE
"An 80s-inspired arcade has taken over Avenue of the Stars. At first glance, you may think it's a party. However, you quickly learn that "Game Over" means a permanent end for you. A gang of neon slashers are out to play and this is one game you won't want to lose."
This may be one of the better zones to take place in Avenue of the Stars. It's not scary, but it sure was fun and cool, with some very striking costumes. There was bright neon (lights and costumes) everywhere, lasers (that beam above the zone like a wave), and arcade consoles. The most impressive characters were the female nanchuck wielding stilt-walkers. Always fun to walk through.
3.5 STARS (7/10)
ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP
"It’s time to brush up on those rules of survival. Based on the hit film and its upcoming sequel, this scare zone puts you in the middle of the United States of Zombieland. The infection has spread and bloodthirsty zombies are everywhere. The most important rule to remember: Always double tap."
This zone looked cool just from pictures alone, however walking through it was a different story. It's set in Waylon's Pacific Treasures, the amusement park from the first film (complete with a faux drop tower ride). Everything was too spaced out, and it all just felt dead/empty. (I got to walk through it numerous times). The props, sets, and characters were cool (there was even a zombie Bill Murray, complete with gold club). It seemed like the NYC area was too big for it, and the designers just didn't know how to properly utilize the space. Very disappointing and likely the weakest zone of the night.
2.5 STARS (4/10)
ROB ZOMBIE HILLBILLY DELUXE
"You know his music, now it’s time to live it. Step into the heavy metal horror of Rob Zombie’s music and imagery in this pulse-pounding scare zone. From otherworldly beings to brutal maniacs, you’ll come face-to-face with his twisted creations as the music cranks to a frenzy."
Now THIS was a scarezone. Plenty of good scares, top-notch theming, killer costumes, and impressive props/sets. The theme here is you are walking through various Rob Zombie music videos (like Dragula and Living Dead Girl, for example), with characters, sets and props from the music videos interspersed throughout. I got to walk through the zone 3 times, and always wanted to just sit and enjoy the atmosphere for a good long while (helped that there were scantly clad hot girls dancing on tall platforms. One slowly bent over, presenting her ass to guests). The scareactors all seemed to love the camera and love being in the zone (I would have to guess they were fans of Rob Zombie too). Complete with copious amounts of fog and Rob Zombie music blaring over the loudspeakers. Is there anything cooler than walking through a scarezone while Dragula or Super Beast (Just to name two) set the mood. This was easily my favorite zone of the night.
5 STARS (10/10)
VIKINGS UNDEAD
"We’re all familiar with the brutal Viking warriors. It’s terrifying enough thinking about facing them alive. Now picture facing them as the undead. They have risen and laid siege to Central Park with an onslaught of gore. Bloodlust never dies."
This was the best themed zone of the night. The Central Park area is overrun with spooky hanging lanterns and ghostly, ethereal lighting. The vikings were cool (plus what looked like tree creatures on stilts), but the sets/props were the real star (especially the blood eagle!!!!). Central Park rarely if ever disappoints. Another zone I likely could have spent all night in.
5 STARS (10/10)
HOUSES
GRAVEYARD GAMES
"In the Ascension Parish Cemetery, it’s normal to find teens playing amongst the tombstones. You’ll find yourself witnessing the repercussions of the disrespectful antics of two teens who have awakened the spirits of the dead. As you roam through the cemetery, you’ll wind through dark mausoleums and decaying piles of coffins."
"Ghosts of every shape and form will rise from the tombstones to exact their revenge as you try to escape the maze of crumbling tombstones and mausoleums. Skeletal beings, ghastly apparitions and vengeful spirits will try to drag you to the grave. And in the end, you’ll find out what happened to those who set out to deface the cemetery."
This house was essentially the spiritual successor to Winter's Night from 2011. There was a fantastic variety of effects and scares, some were absolutely effective, beautiful, impressive and jaw-dropping. The house was lengthy, but not super-scary (My only real complaint would be that it needed some chilly gusts of air and falling snow throughout). I'd say it was more-so atmospheric, creepy and gorgeous (The theming, MY GOD THE THEMING! Loved the pitch dark room, the hallway with the talking mini-statues, and the final room with the glowing statue, just to name a few). Wish I could have gone through it several more times, but rest assured this house raised the bar on what you could experience inside a haunted house. A definite DO NOT MISS!!!
5 STARS (10/10)
US
"Are you ready to enter the shocking reality of Academy Award-winning filmmaker Jordan Peele and Universal Pictures’ global horror hit Us?"
"In this new haunted house at Halloween Horror Nights, you will walk through the Wilson family beach house and Santa Cruz Pier, where you might spot a familiar character outside of the Fun House. You’ll also venture through the unnerving tunnels that stretch for miles deep below America and come face-to-face with “The Tethered” – a group of terrifying doppelgängers of every living man, woman and child in the country. You’ll quickly discover that you are your own worst enemy."
"Follow in the footsteps of Adelaide Wilson as she experiences a horrifying and traumatic encounter with her tethered double, Red. Watch her face off with her menacing mirror image in a deadly dance with a fatal ending."
"As you venture deeper through the haunted house, you will be transported to modern-day, and witness “The Tethered” rise-up from their underground labyrinth, ready to take on their privileged upperworld counterparts – determined to enact their plan of murder and revenge."
"Prepare to run for your life, as there is no escaping yourself."
This house was easily the best IP house of the night. Very creepy, and pretty scary. There aren't many people jumping out at you, instead you'd pass by a person who would stand perfectly still and then, on a music cue, would suddenly strike out at you. I loved how you started out walking down a path with dark curtains on both sides, bright multi-colored lights strung high-above, while "I Got 5 On It" played (And all this was before you reach the facade). It definitely felt like you were walking through the film. This was the only house to use one of my favorite effects: a room full of mannequins, with some real people hidden amongst them. A fantastic house, and another one you would do well not to miss if you saw and loved Us (ALso, we never encounter our own tethered, just the tethered from the film, mostly).
4 STARS (8/10)
KILLER KLOWNZ FROM OUTER SPACE
"Go beyond the mayhem and madness of last year’s wildly popular scare zone and step right up for an entire haunted house experience based on the cult classic film, Killer Klowns from Outer Space. This new experience will feature a gaggle of new characters including the baby Klowns, Boco, and Klownzilla, as well as new scenery like the Klowns’ circus-tent spaceship, and the cotton candy cocoon storage room where they keep their victims."
"Throughout the house your sense of fear will be triggered by your sense of smell as you encounter strong whiffs of familiar fairground fare like sweet cotton candy, stale buttery popcorn and ice cream. Don’t be fooled though, these otherwise pleasant aromas are a sign of the murderous gang of klowns that awaits you as you move from scene to scene."
"Try to evade them or you’re likely to end up captured in one of their cotton candy cocoons and doomed to a terrible fate. There will be no escaping the big teeth of the Big Top."
This house was more fun and silly than scary. You walk through recreations of scenes from the film along with brand new rooms that replicate the atmosphere of the movie. The Klownz look exactly like those seen in the movie, and are perfectly mischievous and playful. My favorite scene had to be the enormous Klownzilla puppet/animatronic (quite impresive). While I definitely enjoyed my time in the house, it was still the weakest houses at the event this year, though it certainly wasn't bad in any means.
3 STARS (6.5/10)
GHOSTBUSTERS
"In this haunted house, you’ll be transported to the streets of New York as the rift between worlds opens, releasing ghoulish spirits, hideous specters and ectoplasm-dripping phantasms in every shape and size. Come face-to-face with the voracious Slimer, the all-power Gozer the Gozerian, Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and more."
"Peter, Ray, Egon and Winston will have to save the day as these paranormal creatures materialize in unexpected places – but will their proton packs be enough?"
Another house that was more fun than it was scary (I mean, I even got to get Winston to hi-five me at the end!). Like the other film based IPs, you walk through recreations of scenes from the film. There were plenty of impressive ghost puppets throughout that perfectly replicate the types of ghosts you would see in the film (Yes, including Slimer). My favorite rooms would have to be the opening library hallway (where Venkman flings slime everywhere in the film), the Ghostbusters firehouse (complete with Janine on the phone), and the Gozer rooftop. It's just a joy to get to walk-through one of the greatest films of all time, and rub elbows with all your favorite characters (including Rick Moranis!). That said, it was still one of the weaker houses at the event this year.
3 STARS (6.5/10)
YETI: TERROR OF THE YUKON
"From the evil geniuses (they paid me to say that) who brought you Attack of the Swamp Yeti in last year’s grindhouse-themed Slaughter Sinema house comes a frightening new take on the fear-inducing folklore of the wild Yeti. But beware, because this experience will trade B-movie scares for bloodthirsty terror that will send you running in the opposite direction. The snows will be red with blood in the Yeti: Terror of the Yukon haunted house coming to Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights this year."
"Deep in the remote tundra of the Yukon, loggers and trappers seek refuge from the frigid grip of an arctic blizzard. But out in the darkness, a terror lurks far more dangerous than the deluge of snow and ice. These unfortunate souls have intruded into a territory that is haunted by their worst nightmares. Enter a logging camp that’s been torn apart, floors caked with snow, bones and gore. Right outside, screams are frozen on the faces of those who fled the towering monsters only to succumb to the elements. But there is no escape from beasts as brutal as the winter."
"Just when you thought the only thing to fear was the elements, an icy terror will descend over you. Cringe at the trail of blood leading to caves none have lived to see. As you enter the labyrinth of caves, you’ll hear the screaming echoes of those who couldn’t escape the inevitable. If you survive long enough to see the end, you’re likely to find the remains of those who came before you and meet their same demise. You’re in Yeti territory now. They’re stone cold vicious and will stop at nothing for a taste of blood. If the cold doesn’t get you, they will."
The only house this year to be consistently chilly throughout. Very well-themed with some cool scares, scenes, and Yeti's (along with some Canadian logger and trappers who are fighting back or fleeing). We travel through a camp, eventually making way into and through the Yeti's lair. The house was one of the ones that tries to scare you. I love the legend of the Yeti/Abominable Snowman, so this one was right up my alley. Not one of my favorite houses of the night, bit certainly one of the better ones (Gotta love the Yeti that rips his arm through a man's chest, and one that lurks high above and screams at you in it's icy caverns).
4 STARS (8/10)
DEPTHS OF FEAR
"If you have a fear of water and what lies beneath, your skin will crawl with this new haunted house at Halloween Horror Nights. Depths of Fear mixes all the elements of the unknown with underwater elements, monstrous creatures and a countdown to a disastrous fate."
"The workers of a deep-sea mining company have found themselves in a dire situation. They’ve delved too deep and encountered a parasitic race of creatures that turn out to be deadly. Panic ensues as you find yourself encountering infected miners and acidic creatures. The pressure builds as the self-destruct sequence counts down to the inevitable implosion of the facility."
"As you venture further into the depths, you’ll encounter the creatures known only as the “Mouthbrooders.” Picture being trapped in a claustrophobic mining installation underwater with a countless number of these slithering monsters. Your worst nightmares will come to life as these fiends spew flesh-eating acidic eggs at human hosts, and you witness miners being driven mad by the infection."
Another one of the houses that tries to be scary. The theme and sets are very neat, and I LOVED how the further in you go, the more and more chaotic things get (There's even a nift video in the first room that sets things up). It's clear that this facility is starting to break down all around you due to the "Mouthbrooders". The design of the creatures is quite cool, but we only get a few of them (fine by me, this tactic was pretty effective). Mostly we get assaulted by the unfortunate victims of the creatures. I was expecting to get wet in this house, but never did (though there are some neat water effects used throughout. This was a lengthy house, and it definitely worked more than it didn't, making it another one of the better houses of the night
4 STARS (8/10)
UNIVERSAL MONSTERS
"Terror is about to be unleashed with Universal Pictures’ iconic Universal Monsters coming to Universal Orlando’s Halloween Horror Nights."
"In this all-new haunted house the world’s most terrifying monsters unleash havoc – thirsty for anything and everything in their paths. As you try to escape to safety, you’ll step into each monster’s domain – but beware – they refuse to let anyone get out alive…"
"Come face-to-face with Dracula in his gothic castle, the Wolfman in a dark Bavarian forest, and the man-made monster within Dr. Frankenstein’s lab. And if you survive them, you still may encounter the vicious Creature of the Black Lagoon, the ancient evil of the Mummy and more."
FINALLY, the Universal Monsters get the proper treatment at HHN. This house is a re-imagining of the ones who started it all while still staying true to their fundamental roots. This house was another lengthy one, and felt like classic HHN all the way. Innovative scares (Gotta love the Hunchback/bell tower scare. It looks like there is a dummy swinging from a bell. All you can see is his feet....then it's revealed it's a real scareactor as he drops down to scare you), fantastic designs, an immersive environment (you get to travel through each Monster's world including Mummy's crypt, Frankenstein's lab, Phantom's secret lair, Gill Man's swamp, and Quasimodo's bell tower among others). The facade is a mausoleum with statues of each Monster outside as rain pelts you), and plenty of freaky rooms (There's even a short mirror maze in Phantom's room that is not unlike the mirror maze found in the classic 1925 Phantom of The Opera. The final room of the house has a very short ceiling so it feels like you almost have to duck/bend down as you walk through). The house was absolutely perfect in every way, I walked out grinning from ear to ear (It's also very scary).
5 STARS (10/10)
NIGHTINGALES: BLOOD PIT
"Ancient Rome is suffering its worst drought in centuries. The ruthless emperor has declared the gladiatorial games to continue nonstop until the rains return. The gruesome bloodshed of the games is horrifying enough, but then come the creatures."
"As the blood soaks into the earth, the nightingales feed on the dead and dying. The nightingales are a grisly race of creatures that have been here since the dawn of time. You may think you’re familiar with their past feeding frenzies, but you haven’t seen them like this. You’ll try to survive alongside the gladiators as the ravenous nightingales tear into their victims and notice that fresh blood has come into their midst…"
This is a sequel house to 2011's Nightingales Blood Prey. Throughout the house, we travel through the bowels underneath the Roman Colosseum as the Gladiators (some dead, some dying, some preparing for gladiatorial combat) have to fend off a new threat: The Nightingales, drawn there by the scent of the dead and dying. The whole house smells like rotting human flesh and blood (I'm not kidding the whole damn house smells just pungent in a bad but undeniably effective way. If you are sensitive to smells, maybe you should sit this one out). The new design of the Nightingales aren't bad, but still aren't as cool and impressive as the originals. The house also has one of the best facades of the night (It's the entrance to the Colosseum, complete with a body on stakes, and a nightingale feasting on a dying horse. It's outdoors). Definitely one of the most impressive, and one of the scarier houses of the night (loved how in the first room a gladiator and had a stare down, with him eventually nodding at me out of , what I assume was, respect). A fantastic house, and undeniably one of the better sequel houses I've seen at the event.
4.5 STARS (9/10)
STRANGER THINGS
"This year, you’ll experience an all-new haunted house where you will travel back to the small town of Hawkins, Indiana and walk-through some of the most terrifying scenes from Stranger Things 2 and 3."
"Not only will you come face-to-face with snarling Demodogs, but you will also make your way through iconic scenes and locations, from Chief Hopper’s cabin to the Starcourt Mall."
"And the best part? This new version of the Stranger Things haunted house is also coming to our sister park, Universal Studios Hollywood. The haunted houses on both coasts will parallel the hit show as it leaps forward to 1985."
Most of the house is scenes from Season 2, with some scenes from Season 3 sprinkled throughout near the end. The scenes in the upside down are undeniably effective (complete with falling ashes) and feels like you are really in the upside down. I also loved the arcade, the cabin from Season 3, and Starcourt Mall from Season 3 (complete with the most impressive puppet in HHN history: a gigantic mind-flayer, with a head that turns from side to side. Absolutely Boss!!! Apparently it takes 3 puppeteers to animate the darned thing). A very impressive house that effectively feels like you are in the world of both seasons. A definite must-do for fans of Stranger Things.
4 STARS (8.5/10)
HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES
"This fall, you’ll discover firsthand why this house is built on horror. Come face-to-face with the psychotic Firefly family and their collection of blood and gore. Watch “The Legend of Doctor Satan” come to life right before your eyes. Keep a lookout for the latest addition to Captain Spaulding’s Museum of Monsters and Madmen, Fish Boy! And if you’re lucky, you’ll escape the house as fast as a rabbit, minus the fluffy bunny costume and tragic ending."
This was my most anticipated houses of the year, and while it wasn't top house of the night...it certainly wasn't disappointing. Starting outside at the faithfully recreated facade of Captain Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen (Keep a look out for a cameo from Bill and Ted's phone booth), you can tell the designers of the house are HUGE fans of the film and went to great effort to get everything just right. From the gas station/museum interior, to the Firefly house, to the caverns of Dr. Satan's lab...everything is there (except for scenes from the Murder Ride. This is explained because the rest of the house after the first scene is supposed to be the Murder Ride. It's different, but oddly works). We get to rub elbows with Dr. Satan, Grampa, Mama Firefly, Otis, Tiny, Captain Spaulding, Dr. Satan's hulk of an assistant (very freaky), Dr. Satan's victims, and Rufus. I can imagine that people unfamiliar with the film would be lost and confused, but die-hard fans (like myself) will undoubtedly be tickled pink. A damn good, faithful, and fun house that perfectly captures the tone, feel, environment and sets of the film (You even exit through the famous Murder House exit). Another one of the better houses of the night.
3 STARS (6.5/10)
SHOWS
HALLOWEEN MARATHON OF MAYHEM
"Grab a bucket of popcorn and get ready as the lagoon lights up with iconic scenes from Netflix’s Stranger Things, Ghostbusters, Universal Monsters and Killer Klowns from Outer Space. This new show features a blend of fountain-based media, state-of-the-art technologies and special effects in a new way. This is one 80’s nightmare you won’t want to miss."
I was expecting to be blown away by this show, and I honestly wasn't. That said, it was certainly very cool , fun, and impressive. Scenes and music from Stranger Things, Us, Ghostbusters, Killer Klownz, and Universal Classic Monsters are featured along with some nifty water jets/fountains (that shoot up pretty high), water screens, lasers, and projection effects (used for some of the buildings in the park. The show lasts a total of ten minutes and is an easy recommendation. You should likely get there at least 15 minutes in advance so you don't miss the cool 5 minute pre-show.
3 STARS (6.5/10)
RIDES
FAST AND FURIOUS SUPERCHARGED
I had heard a lot about how terrible this attraction was, but still had to experience the suck-age for myself. First off: The positives. The warehouse queue is very cool, lengthy and realistic. I loved the Party Bus theme for our vehicles (So funny! A party bus with no drinks). The alley scene with the cars is pretty nice, the beginning tunnel scene is effective and cool (Couldn't tell if we were really moving or if it was just an effect ala Earthquake/Disaster) and I like how the 360 scene has a screen in front of our bus (it really helps to cement the illusion that we are traveling from Point A to Point B). All that said, the 360 scene is way too short, the graphics are bad, there is no climax/resolution, and we start at what appears to be night during the first few scenes before transitioning quickly to daytime during the 360 scene (plus apparently, the 360 scene takes place in LA while the queue is in San Francisco). So yeah, it's not a good ride but I wouldn't exactly say it's terrible. There are definitely aspects of it I appreciated so I wouldn't say it's a complete wash. I'd say I feel lukewarm to it overall. It's just ok (fun to laugh at, definitely). I would likely ride it again.
2 STARS
SUMMARY
So, overall HHN 29 is not as scary as previous years. The focus this year is definitely more so on fun and having a good time than it was on scaring you. While this was a little disappointing, I still loved the event. There wasn't a bad house in the bunch. I also got to Rip Ride Rockit twice in a row (once in the front seat), and I got to do Transformers (which is still my favorite ride in the park). I also got to catch up on F&F. Hopefully they pull out all the stop for next year's 30th anniversary and put together something scarier and freakier than this year's event....but I was still more than satisfied with my experience this time (Overall I'd give HHN 29 4 STARS). Till next time, this is your ghost host with the most most signing off from scare central. Pleasant nightmares!
SCAREZONE RANKINGS
1. Rob Zombie's Hillbilly Deluxe (5 STARS)
2. Vikings Undead (5 Stars)
3. Vanity Ball (4 Stars)
4. Anarch-Cade (3.5 Stars)
5. Zombieland: Double Tap (2.5 Stars)
HOUSE RANKINGS
1. Graveyard Games (5 Stars)
2. Universal Monsters (5 Stars)
3. Nightingales: Blood Pit (4.5 Stars)
4. Us (4 Stars)
5. House of 1000 Corpses (4 Stars)
6. Stranger Things (4 Stars)
7. Depths of Fear (4 Stars)
8. Yeti: Terror of The Yukon (4 Stars)
9. Ghostbusters (3 Stars)
10. Killer Klownz (3 Stars)
(I am honestly torn on which house is better: Graveyard Games or Universal Monsters. Both are phenomenal houses in different but similar ways. Very hard choice).
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