ALADDIN 2019 IS THE BEST OF THE LIVE ACTION DISNEY REMAKES (SO FAR)

Disney's Aladdin came out during the golden period of hand drawn animation known as the new Disney Renaissance. It combined impressive animation, memorable characters, instantly classic songs, and a magnetic and lively performance from Robin Williams as The Genie (Plus one of the great Disney villains in Jafar). I have no problem admitting that it is my favorite Disney animated film. Now, in 2019, Disney's latest and most distressing trend (re-making their animated classics in live-action form) continues with 2019's Aladdin. Is it any good?

Let's start with the cast. Mena Massoud and Naomi Scott are perfect as Aladdin and Jasmine, succeeding at nailing the essence of their characters and making them feel like they really are the flesh-and-blood versions of their animated counterparts. They can sing, dance and act and do what is required of them and more. Massoud does a little parkour here and there, and it didn't bother me though it was a little jarring. It also helps that he sounds similar to the classic Aladdin from the animated film. Naomi Scott (previously seen as The Pink Ranger in the new Power Rangers movie, look for her next as one of the Charlie's Angels in the reboot of that franchise) is gorgeous as Jasmine. In this remake/update her Jasmine is a strong-willed princess who doesn't need a man to support her, doesn't really long for marriage, and dreams of the day when a lady can be Sultan. The film's new number, Speechless, is Jasmine's big solo. It's certainly not needed or necessary, but it shows off Scott's stellar vocals, so I'm cool with it. All-in-all, Massoud and Scott have pretty good chemistry and make for a nice couple and great representations of the classic characters.

Will Smith can't fill the enormous shoes Robin Williams left behind (an impossible and herculean task if there ever was one), but taken as its own thing he works very well in the film. He rap-sings his way through his musical numbers, which is certainly jarring and odd at first, but I quickly grew to like it (I've been longing for Smith to return to his rapping roots, and seeing as this is likely the closest I'll ever get to that, I'll gladly take it). It's one way this remake can differentiate itself from the original classic. His friendship with Aladdin works and is believable here, and I'm not ashamed to say I got feels on occasion with some their shared scenes. Overall, his Genie works surprisingly well and makes for a very enjoyable aspect and character in the movie (He's also shown to have a wife in his first scene as the storyteller, which is a nice touch...until they make her a supporting recurring character and decide to focus on how they met and fell in love. Unneeded and unnecessary, though I can see where the filmmakers were coming from) . Sultan is relegated to the background and given minimal character, Iago barely leaves any kind of impression as he is played more as your typical parrot that repeats certain lines of dialogue (The phenomenal Alan Tudyk voices the bird here, but he's given very little to work with. I miss Gilbert Gottfried's dulcet tones.).

As far as Jafar, this remake essentially spends the entire run time bending him over a table. Jonathan Freeman's iconic take in the original  made Jafar grand, imposing, and threatening...plus, that maniacal cackle still reverberates inside my mind to this day. Freeman made Jafar a character to fear and love. Unfortunately, Marwan Kenzari just can't compete. Kenzari struggles to emote most of the time and is never imposing, threatening, scary or snake-like. I'll give the film props for giving him a nice backstory (explained briefly in a throw-away line that actually comes back into play near the end). Kenzari's Jafar is hell-bent on waging war with a neighboring kingdom (where Jasmine's deceased mom hailed from)  for reasons that are never explained, and his big climax is just embarrassing and bad. I'm not sure if Kenzari's lackluster performance shows his lack of acting ability or poor direction on Guy Ritchie's part, either way Aladdin 2019 takes a magnificent villain and reduces him to a poor, laughable shade of his former self.

Aladdin 2019 starts out essentially on fast-forward (we are introduced to Jasmine after her escape from the palace, as she is giving the apple to the kids in the street. This scene essentially acts as our intro to Aladdin as well). The remake is definitely a film that relies fairly heavily on its audience already being familiar with/already having seen the original classic. It doesn't waste time (Even the fantastic opening Cave of Wonders sequence in the original is reduced to around 5 seconds of screen time). The first two acts are easily the best and most fun parts of the film. Unfortunately, the third act doesn't even come close to sticking the landing as it's incredibly messy and bad, succeeding at shitting the bed and jumping the shark. The big climax is reduced to a magic carpet chase through the city while Jafar stands in one place with his staff, summoning magic. Yes, it's incredibly disappointing.

Aladdin 2019 is  the only Disney remake (thus far) to lean heavily into it's musical elements, which definitely helps the film overall. It's musical numbers are theatrically staged (complete with great choreography), and are produced better than the original songs (I still prefer the music in the original, but I will admit that the new versions definitely sound bigger and more theatrical). The accompanying score is also filled with familiar stings that sound like they are lifted from the original classic (The music is composed by Alan Menken, who did the score and music for the original as well, hence why everything likely sounds as great as it does. Benj Pasek and Justin Paul wrote the lyrics for Speechless and the updated version of Arabian Nights). 

It's no secret that I'm not a fan of Disney remaking their classic animated films. It all just feels lazy and cheap (even if they do spend a hefty amount of money making them), with Disney relying on nostalgia and recycling to bring in sure-fire big bucks instead of using originality, creativity, and their story telling skills to give us something special and unique. That said, Aladdin 2019 is (so far) the only Disney remake that even comes close to being worthy of remembrance and discussion. It does enough to differentiate itself from the original while still keeping close enough to the original source material so it doesn't feel like a completely new thing (a positive and a negative). Yeah, the third act will ultimately leave you with a bit of a sour aftertaste and some things feel unnecessary, but for the most part this remake works well enough. It's fun and entertaining, albeit never quite good enough to compete with the far superior original (though it does manage to improve upon the original in one scene: where Jafar tosses Aladdin into the ocean to drown. I won't say how the film improves upon it, just that it does so in a small way that doesn't detract from anything). In the end, this is one remake that will fit right at home in your blu-ray collection next to the original classic. 


3 STARS

READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!

Ready or Not follows young bride-to-be Grace  (Samara Weaving) and her fiance Alex Le Domas (Mark O'Brien). Grace is understandably nervous about marrying into Alex's family,  a bunch of  blue blood 1%-ers who rule over a vast board game empire. It doesn't help matters that his family is quite shady and treats Grace with subtle hostility. The night of Alex and Grace's nuptials, Alex's family introduces Grace to a strange tradition where they play a randomly picked game that will initiate her into the ranks of the Le Domas'. Unfortunately for Grace, she gets hide and seek, which is not your typical childhood game. In this twisted version, if any member of the family finds Grace, she will be offered up as the Le Domas' latest sacrifice to Satan, who is responsible for the family's vast wealth. Now, Grace will have to hide, run, and fight off her attackers if she is going to survive the worst wedding night imaginable.

Radio Silence (a trio of filmmakers consisting of Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett and Chad Villella) is the group responsible for directing Ready or Not. They got their start on Youtube in 2011 before moving on to direct shorts and feature length films in the horror genre. Their first effort was the final short in V/H/S, which could arguably be considered the best one in that film. They followed it up with the disappointing found-footage flick Devil's Due in 2014, and the decent wrap-around segment for 2015's Southbound. This is their first feature to not be shot in the found-footage format, and it's also easily their best film. Some shots are fast and hard to make out, but for the most part they seem to have grown and matured as directors.

Samara Weaving (of The Babysitter fame) is one of the shining stars here. In The Babysitter she had great fun playing an ultra-hot villain and found a way to make her character likable and fun. Here, she is at the opposite end of the spectrum as the heroine on the run. She masks her Australian accent fairly well, and is still gorgeous and kick-ass (though one of my only complaints is she doesn't do as much butt-kicking as I had hoped she would, spending the majority of the run time being chased both inside the Le Domas' fancy mansion and around the perimeter of their property). The film isn't afraid to throw Weaving's Grace through the wringer as she sustains multiple nasty injuries throughout. Luckily, she is smarter than most of the family and quick on her feet making her a surprising match for the Le Domas'. Weaving also makes Grace a spunky, adorable, fun and super-likable character that succeeds at almost immediately getting the audience fully on her side.  With The Babysitter, Mayhem, and now Ready or Not, Weaving is quickly establishing herself as a force to be reckoned with in the horror genre. Give me more!

The other actor who stands out is Adam Brody as the booze-guzzling, worn-out, and reluctant Daniel Le Domas, who's years of partaking in human sacrifices has left him disillusioned and disgusted with himself. He still joins the family on the hunt for Grace, off-set by his brother who is actively trying to assist his new bride in escaping from the madness. Brody is an absolute joy every second he is on screen, and it's hard not to love his character and his slowly growing conscience, which becomes harder and harder for him to ignore as the film rolls on. He brings a sad pathos to Daniel, and his performance will undoubtedly leave many asking why Brody hasn't been featured in more horror films. Rounding out the cast are Andi Macdowell and Henry Czerny as the matriarch and patriarch of the family, Nicky Guadagni as the creepy and intense aunt, and Melanie Scrofano as the delightful coke-snorting screw-up.

Ready or Not is violent, gruesome, messed up, super fun, and surprisingly hilarious. This film has one wicked humor streak that never distracts or takes away from the more grisly elements within. You will laugh, and you will cheer. With our society's ever growing contempt and disillusionment with the upper class, it almost feels like Ready or Not was tailor made for today's age. Indeed, it doubles as a brutal take-down of the 1% and their treatment of anyone they deem "lower" or "less than" than them. The film certainly doesn't have as much to say as Ari Aster's Midsommar, but the commentary that is here is still entertaining and appreciated. Ready or Not marks yet another notable, memorable, and great entry into horror in 2019. It's an easy recommendation for anyone looking for a good time and then some.

4 STARS

SUPER LATE POST ON JOURNEY TO ATLANTIS

You know the story of Atlantis, right? Many moons ago, there was a beautiful island called Atlantis. It was host to a technologically advanced, Utopian civilization. The island itself contained gold, silver, other precious metals and rare, exotic wildlife. Unfortunately, a series of catastrophic volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and other natural disasters destroyed the civilization, ripped the island to shreds and the once mighty Atlantis sank deep below the waves. Many people over the centuries have been captivated by this fascinating and intriguing tale. Then, in 1998 the mythical island resurfaced in...of all places, Seaworld Orlando. Brave travelers and tourists could board a small boat for an adventure through the lost city, a fun ride with beauty, intrigue, and scares. Unfortunately, this seabound voyage was fated to experience a similar, tragic fate to its mythological source material.

I don't know why I'm just finding out about this now. I am an enormous theme park nerd, so shame on me. Either way, In March of 2017, one of Seaworld Orlando's flagship attractions was stripped down to the bone and displayed in all it's naked shame. All of the effects, narration, and characters were removed from the ride leaving adventurers an awkward, boring, dull but scenic cruise through what was once a damned cool thrill ride. The original plot involved an evil siren named Allura, the mythical god Hermes, an old fisherman named Stavros, and a boatload of hapless adventurers who wish to explore the mythical city and instead sail right into the clutches of Allura. 

I've only been on the original Journey To Atlantis once, and I have vague, happy memories of the experience. It was clearly trying to be the next Splash Mountain, and while it never fully succeeded it was certainly a fun, thrilling, different adventure with one cool story we are sucked into. From what I understand, the numerous effects never were functional in the way they were meant to be, the plot of the ride wasn't super well-fleshed out (I remember the bare basics, for the full plot I had to look it up online), and apparently numerous parents complained that the ride was too scary for their kids. Either way, due to cost-cutting measures or complaints from parents, Journey To Atlantis has become a shade of its former self. It's absolutely unacceptable to remove the plot and story of Journey To Atlantis and think it's a good decision. While fans definitely complained, it's now been around 2 years and Atlantis remains stripped and naked, leaving the future of this once great ride uncertain.

I've been meaning to re-visit Seaworld so I could try out it's coasters, but after hearing this I'm seriously rethinking this. Why would I visit a  park that refuses to treat its classic attractions with a modicum of respect and dignity. Journey To Atlantis revitalized Seaworld Orlando, and I think it's safe to say that without that attraction, Seaworld never would have been able to build it's numerous other modern offerings. If you're going to do Atlantis dirty like that, why not just tear the whole thing down. Unfortunately, that would be a better fate than just letting it sit there with all its lights off (metaphorically speaking) .

Either way, if I ever do visit Seaworld again and decide to journey through Atlantis, my boat will be sailing on an ocean of tears. Until Seaworld fixes this awful, inexcusable mess they've created, I say they don't deserve to  ever be mentioned in the same sentence as Universal and Disney. 

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT QUENTIN TARANTINO

Yes, unfortunately the time has come to discuss one of my favorite filmmakers: Quentin Tarantino. This is going to be tough. I've noticed a disturbing trend in Tarantino's latest films....most of them contain brutal violence against women.

In Inglourious Basterds, our two main female leads are graphically murdered by men. In The Hateful Eight, the wonderful Jennifer Jason Leigh turns in a foul performance as a truly despicable villain who spends the majority of the run time getting the shit beat out of her by Kurt Russell. Lastly, Tarantino's latest film, Once Upon A Time....In Hollywood climaxes in one of his most brutal scenes ever where several female characters are beaten to death by our two male leads. This is especially troubling since they are depicted as characters that aren't truly evil, but are instead brainwashed into doing the crime. The violence against women depicted in Tarantino's recent films rubs me the wrong way (and has ever since I first saw Inglouious Basterds).

I'm aware that some of Tarantino's earlier works contained violence against women as well (like Kill Bill and True Romance), but it seems like this aspect has become more recurrent as of late. Now, Tarantino has written strong female characters in the past (The Bride in Kill Bill and Shosanna in Inglourious Basterds just to name two), so I'm not saying he's by any means a misogynist.....but he's beginning to look more and more like one with each brutal beating his female characters endure.

I had issues with Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood. To me, it showed a filmmaker who has lost touch with his audience and even his craft to an extent....but that's not the issue here. The times are changing, as well as what is and isn't culturally acceptable anymore. Tarantino has always been one to buck the system, and he continually tries to shock and surprise. Maybe that's what this new trend really is, just his latest attempt to shock and surprise. It's a little late to say that it's time for Tarantino to evolve his tools, style and method for the modern age considering he is getting ready to hang up the director reins (and after Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood I'd say that might be for the best).

I will always enjoy True Romance, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Inglourious Basterds (though the two brutal murders in Basterds  will always rub me the wrong way) but his latest batch of films are really take-it-or-leave-it for me. Tarantino undoubtedly inspired millions of upcoming filmmakers and scriptwriters, and he had a lasting impact on the art of film. For that, we will always owe him a debt of gratitude...let's just hope the future filmmakers of today don't take inspiration from him in all the wrong places.

MIDSOMMAR LULLS SMALLS INTO A PSYCHEDELIC NIGHTMARE

Ari Aster's directorial debut, 2018's 'Hereditary', was an auspicious start for the then 31 year old auteur. I personally thought Hereditary was fantastic, but I found the ending left me a little sour. Now, only a year later, Aster is back with his follow-up, Midsommar. No matter your opinion on this divisive little film, I think everyone can agree that Aster doesn't have to worry about Midsommar being labeled a sophomore slump.

In Midsommar, we follow struggling couple Dani (Florence Pugh) and Christian (Jack Reynor). Both clearly aren't the right fit for the other as Christian is quite passive, inattentive and spends most of his time either getting high or with friends/fellow anthropology students Josh (William Jackson Harper), Pelle (Vilhelm Blomgren), and Mark (The always delightful Will Poulter) and Dani continually saddles Christian with all her emotional baggage. Neither character is innocent and each is playing a role in driving a wedge into the relationship. Before they can call it quits, Dani suffers an unimaginable and horrific family tragedy that sends her diving back into the arms of Christian. Several months later,  Dani is still suffering from the emotional fallout of the tragedy and Christian is preparing to head off to a small Swedish commune with his friends for a midsommar festival (that only occurs once every 90 years during a time when the sun rarely sets. Yes, this is a horror film set mostly in daylight) that they plan on studying for their anthropology class. Dani tags along after being invited (mostly out of guilt) by Jack and friends. It doesn't take long after they arrive that psychedelic drugs are consumed and the festival turns into a nightmarish but oddly serene and peaceful trip as the commune starts to exhibit odd, suspicious behavior that might point to an ulterior motive....or it could just be the drugs.

 Midsommar is one of those films that works best if you walk in knowing next-to-nothing about it (Even though the trailer doesn't really ruin anything, I would still say it's best not to watch it). So, with that said, I'm going to try my best to avoid any spoilers.

Midsommar is shot by Pavel Pogorzelski (who also did the cinematography for Hereditary), and in his hands the film is a  gorgeous, sunshiny, flowery portrait. Despite all the horrific goings-ons at the festival, the commune still seems like a nice place to stay for a while. The commune's members are all very friendly and accommodating (but not in a creepy way), and the little village is beautiful. The film is indeed a slow burn, but this never bothered me as it lulled me into a relaxed, almost trance-like state. Sure, I checked my watch a few times, but the only anxiety I got was anticipating what exactly was going to happen and when. There is a definite plot and sense of forward momentum even as the film stops to smell the psychotropic flowers a good deal of the time. It's also nice that Aster (who also penned the screenplay, as he did with Hereditary) spends a good deal of time fleshing out this commune's various beliefs and traditions while still keeping enough left in the shadows. Indeed, this commune feels like a real place by the time the film ends.

Those walking into Midsommar expecting a "scary" movie might be disappointed. The film is definitely horrific (The film delivers a devastating gut-punch within the first 20 minutes that stuck with me for the remainder of the run time), but maybe not in the way you would expect. This is a film about the horrors of a bad relationship and the immense toll grief can have on a person (In other words, this is human horror at it's finest) . Our group of friends and main leads aren't the most likable people as each is, to different degrees, a jerk. Dani (Florence Pugh) is easily the closest we get to a likable character, and even then she is far from innocent. On the other side of the rainbow is Christian (Jack Reynor), who at first appears like a reluctant boyfriend who is resignedly trying to do good, but as the film progresses and we learn more about his character we realize that he may not be such a nice guy after all (and the group starts to feel strained as everyone begins to grow further and further away from each other due to internal and external forces).  

Ari Aster has made a film that is quite different from Hereditary, but still surprisingly similar in subtle ways. Both films are about the disintegration of relationships: In Hereditary, the relationships are familial and in Midsommar they're romantic relationships and friendships. Aster  continues to throw lots of significant details and foreshadowing into the background and details of a scene (so keep your eyes peeled and pay close attention). Aster also falls back on a specific trope that didn't sit well with me in Hereditary and still rubs me the wrong way here (It's usually used near the end of his films).

The actors all do great jobs but the stand-outs are Florence Pugh as Dani, Jack Reynor as Christian, and Will Poulter as Mark. Aster asks a lot of Pugh here as Dani continually suffers from severe panic attacks and bouts of hysterical depression. Handled the wrong way, her character could have become very annoying very quickly, but Pugh manages to make Dani sympathetic and likable. Not to mention, she sells every single one of her freak-out scenes. Reynor, despite playing a character with some serious flaws, still manages to be likable (to a degree) and his reactions during the festivities (and especially the final scenes) are entertaining. It's fun to learn more about the truth of his character as the film progresses. Will Poulter as Mark is (as previously stated) delightful as the comic relief. He gets the lion's share of the jokes and funny moments, and provides some tension-relieving laughs throughout the film.

Midsommar definitely has a lot to say, so much so that it practically demands repeat viewings. It's the first film I can remember seeing this year that I walked out excited to see it a second time (I would say in theaters, but since I'm not sure how much longer it's going to be playing, probably more-so on Blu-Ray). Aster clearly has gotten better at endings, as the big finale here is equal parts horrific, visually stunning, and cathartic. I easily prefer Midsommar to Hereditary. This is definitely going to be a divisive film. It won't be for everyone, but personally, I loved the hell out of it. Midsommar just might be the best horror film of 2019 (though we still have It Chapter Two, Doctor Sleep, and Three From Hell coming up, so who knows?). This is the real deal folks, see it when you can! 

4.5 STARS

NOTE: Midsommar also has one of the most realistic depictions of the effects of 'Shrooms I've seen....not that I would know, or anything.