Hello, and welcome to another installment of my Fright Fest. HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH Y'ALL!!! You didn't really think I would forget the "holiday" would you? If you are a Jason fan, then this post is for you! Today, we take a machete to the Friday the 13th films!
Friday the 13th- Not a great film, but great fun nonetheless. A good deal of the film is just the councilors goofing off at the camp (I had fun watching them have fun), but the last 20 minutes are where it kicks into high gear. I'd say Betsy Palmer as Mrs. Voorhees is one of the great psychos of film, and Adrienne King as Alice is easily one of the more memorable final girls. Yeah, Friday the 13th isn't the most well made film, the acting isn't the best and the script isn't the greatest (Though I do like how we only get snippets of the backstory until the big reveal at the end). The fights near the end are pretty well choreographed and fun as well. I ended up liking Friday the 13th way more than I thought I would, it's a ton of fun and easily earns it's classic status. 3 STARS
Friday the 13th Part 2- This sequel continues the mythos of the first film, The setting is a cool one (another summer camp located right next door to the now abandoned Camp Crystal Lake), more of the characters are likable and memorable (lookin at you Mark!), it's the first appearance of Jason (Totally digging his bag-head look here), and we also get to see Jason's shack! The big finale with great final girl Ginny (Amy Steel) is actually much better than the previous climax from the first film. Complete with a recap of the first film via a nifty campfire ghost story, this is one sequel that is just as good if not better than the first. 3 STARS
Friday the 13th Part 3- Jason (Here played by Richard Brooker) gets his mask. The iconic version of Jason gets his very first kill here, and a good amount of the deaths are pretty good. I also thought Dana Kimmell was mighty pretty as final girl Chris. Unfortunately, this version tries to do a few too many "clever" twists on things found in the first film, we have an annoying subplot involving a mean motorcycle gang, and it's all in 3D (Meaning many cheap 3-D effects). This is certainly one of the weaker installments of the franchise, but it's not without its hokey charms plus it's worth a watch just to see the birth of a horror icon. 2.5 STARS
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter- Ok, this is definitely the best Friday The 13th film. Crispin Glover (In one of his more normal roles) as Jimmy and Corey Feldman as Tommy Jarvis (A classic horror character) are memorable, and our characters are pretty likable (except for Teddy). This installment also has the best and most brutal kills, Jason (Ted White) is a bad-ass, and the big finale doesn't disappoint at all. It's still a silly and fun film for the most part, but when it kicks ass it kicks ass! 3.5 STARS
Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning- Bad. Really bad. Tommy is reduced to a crazy person, the kills are fairly weak, this film has the group of characters I cared the least about, and the ending is just plain terrible. This is easily a contender for worst Friday the 13th film. I want my 91 minutes back! 1 STAR
Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives- There are a lot of things that work in this film: The atmosphere, Thom Mathews as adult Tommy Jarvis (Now more determined than crazy), going back to Camp Crystal Lake (Now renamed Camp Forest Green in an attempt to rid the area of its bloody history), undead Jason (C.J. Graham) looks pretty rad, and the decision to have an actual camp (with kids) going on when the blood starts to pour. Unfortunately, this still isn't that good of a film. It chooses to be a horror-comedy, and the choice doesn't work super-well. It's silly, goofy, cheesy, and campy but I had a lot of fun with it. 2.5 STARS
Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood- Jason vs. a telepathic teen. It's about as good as you would expect it to be, which is to say not very. The characters are uninteresting, and the deaths/kills are unimpressive (except for one that involves a saw). This was Kane Hodder's first appearance as Jason, but that's not reason enough to sit through this cliche'd, dull, bland, boring mess. I will say the final battle is actually good, though. Still, I say stay away. 1 STAR
Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan- The big downfall of this outing is that precious little time takes place in Manhattan. Most of the film follows Jason as he does his stabby-slashy thing on a yacht/pleasure cruise. The characters aren't all that great, the film kind of drags, and when we finally do get to Manhattan we don't get many settings except a brief scene in Times Square, a quick (but satisfying) fight on a rooftop, and the big finale in the sewers where Jason is drowned in toxic waste. It's not terrible, but not terribly good either, leaving Jason Takes Manhattan in the disappointing "just ok" area. A definite guilty pleasure of mine. 2 STARS
Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday- Oh man, what a piece of shit. The bloodiest, most brutal, goriest, and grossest Jason film is also the weirdest, strangest, and most insulting. When a whole crew (and then some) of FBI guys gun down and blow up Jason, he takes the form of a worm-like creature so he can start possessing people while he searches for his last living relative and her child (because the child is the only one who can kill him). This is the worst version of Jason I've seen, his design (when he's on screen, which is rare) is ugly, and he makes dumb noises and grunts a lot (including when he's being gunned down). For most of the film, Jason is just a bunch of random people, none of whom are intimidating or frightening (freaky, maybe...but scary, no.). I also didn't care for Steven Williams as bounty hunter Creighton Duke, who isn't in the film much, serves next to no purpose, and is an antagonistic asshole for most of the scenes he appears in. I like John D. LeMay as Steven (our hero), and I appreciate just how far the film goes with the violence, but it makes many weird, half-assed choices that don't make much sense. Jason Goes To Hell is certainly more watchable and entertaining (in a groan-inducing way) than A New Beginning and The New Blood, but I'd say this is still likely the worst installment in the Friday the 13th franchise. Be on the look-out for references to The Evil Dead, A Nightmare On Elm Street, and The Thing (This outing also has the single best line in all of the Friday The 13th films: "Planning on smoking a little dope, having a little premarital sex, and getting slaughtered?"). 1 STAR
Jason X- Jason goes to space, a sure-fire way for a franchise to announce it's run out of ideas and is dying a slow, painful death. This outing takes place in the far future where Jason is dethawed and awakens (thanks to two teens/young adults doing the nasty nearby....yes, really). The kills aren't half-bad, and the film is fun in a so-bad-it's-good way. Surprisingly, this outing doesn't take itself too seriously and is actually pretty darned funny at times. Unfortunately, nothing can excuse the eye-gougingly bad design of Chrome Jason (he looks like a bad Power Rangers villain reject). Yet another guilty pleasure. 1 STAR
Friday The 13th (2009)- "Let's all be one big, happy cliche." The film is right at home living within genre conventions, and it finds a way to have lots of fun within these confines. It's not ever scary, but the characters are entertaining, and Jason (played here pretty perfectly by Derek Mears) is smarter than usual and brutal. All in all, this is definitely one of the better remakes (Also gotta love Chewie as played by Aaron Yoo, and Julinna Guill's breasts are perfect.). 3 STARS
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