THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WITH HARDWARE

"No flesh shall be spared"- Mark 13


Richard Stanley writes and directs Hardware, and it was his first ever film. What a way to start your career...with a literal blast!

In Hardware, we follow a marine named Moe (Dylan McDermott) who is currently on leave. He meets up with his spaced out best friend Shades (John Lynch), and while wandering the wasteland he winds up purchasing a bunch of scrap from a scavenger (Nomad, played by Carl McCoy, who looks remarkably like Richard Stanley himself) as a gift for his girlfriend, Jill (Stacey Travis). She is an aspiring artist and he figures she can use the scrap in one of her upcoming sculptures/art pieces. What Moe has no way of knowing is that the seemingly harmless scrap is actually the damaged (but not dead) parts of a dangerous military android named the M.A.R.K 13. When Moe drops the scrap off at Jill's place, the M.A.R.K 13 awakens and pieces itself back together, going on a crazed, murderous rampage through her apartment. Moe, Jill, and Shades will have to team up if they want to survive the night.

Hardware takes place in a bleak, dark, post-apocalyptic world that seems to have been ravaged by nuclear war, among other things. There is a bill being passed around that, if approved, would force some of the population to be sterilized. The populace are so depressed that joints have been legalized (named Major Good Vibes) and are readily available via nifty cigarette-esque packages (Jill can be seen perpetually puffing on the legalized joints throughout the film). As if all this wasn't bad enough, there's a DJ named Angry Bob (voiced to perfection by a crazed, screaming Iggy Pop) who reports on the news of the day while reminding citizens just how much their lives suck (In one memorable instance, he screams "And for the good news-There is no fucking good news!" and in another he screams "kill, kill, kill!"). Yes, life for those stuck living in this nightmare is depressing, dreary, and hopeless and Hardware spends around the first 18 minutes of the film exploring this world before effectively trapping us in Jill's apartment.

Our heroes are all pretty likable. Dylan McDermott is a bad-ass as Moe, the religious, anti-drug marine with a heart-of-gold. He has a history of being fairly flaky when it comes to Jill, but he does genuinely care about her. His experiences during the film lead him to re-think his attitude, and maybe even finally decide to commit to Jill more. John Lynch as Shades is a pure joy as the faithful and loyal best friend to both Jill and Moe. He tries to be of use when stuff hits the fan, but his zonked-out mental state (he is a pretty big fan of LSD, or this world's equivalent of it) prevents him of being any real help except for in one memorable instance. Stacey Travis is sweet and strong as Jill, a woman who is well aware of the harsh realities of the world she is trapped in. She is never helpless or weak, has some string values, and can kick some major ass when she needs to. She's definitely a survivor at heart. Together, Moe, Jill, and Shades make for a compelling trio that are fun to follow around and are easy to root for.

As for the supporting characters, character actor William Hootkins (who had small roles in Star Wars: A New Hope, Flash Gordon, Raiders of The Lost Ark. Batman, Dust Devil, and The Island of Dr. Moreau) excels at playing Lincoln, the creepy, gross, pervert next door.Lincoln enjoys spending his spare time peeping on Jill, taking unsolicited pics of her from his apartment window, and sending her lecherous and disturbing messages. In his most memorable moment, he performs a short song for Jill when he stops by to assist. Mark Northover (likely most well known for his role as Burglekutt in Willow) also gets a small but memorable role as a dwarf mechanic, who is a friend to Moe and is the first to realize the danger the M.A.R.K 13 poses.

Hardware was shot for $1.5 million dollars. This is likely why the majority of the film takes place in one location (Jill's apartment), and also why we never really get a full look at The M.A.R.K 13. The M.A.R.K 13 functions much the same way as Jaws or The Terminator does. Like The Terminator, it's an unstoppable killing machine that is capable of taking many nasty hits but keeps on going. It has one purpose, and one purpose only: Spare no flesh. Kill any and every living thing that it comes across. It will not stop until it has succeeded in its goal.

Like Jaws, we only see portions of The M.A.R.K 13 at a time (once again, likely due to the low budget). This works to the films advantage as our imaginations are left to create the full image of this android for ourselves (and often, the audiences imaginations create something far more horrific than anything filmmakers could ever put on screen). The M.A.R.K 13 is indeed incredibly terrifying and brutal, and the numerous ways it can kill a person are impressive and scary: It has chainsaws, a rape-y phallic-esque drill, and syringes that resemble spider-fangs that inject it's victims with a powerful hallucinogen, so that they are tripping balls and enjoy the act of being torn to pieces. Truly horrific, nightmarish stuff.

As previously stated, Richard Stanley writes and directs Hardware. Him and cinematographer Steven Chivers bring a gorgeous, hallucinogenic vibe to the proceedings. There are multiple sequences that resemble a drug trip...some are beautiful and acid-like, and others are enjoyably nightmarish. In short, this film gives you good trips and bad trips...both enjoyable. Stanley and Chivers also make effective use of Jill's apartment. In their hands, it feels cramped, claustrophobic, and inescapable, which only adds to the horror of the film. While we spend the last two acts in Jill's apartment, the setting never feels stale. We also have a firm grasp on the way the post-apocalyptic world outside Jill's apartment functions despite spending little time there.

The soundtrack is quite killer as well (no pun intended), featuring songs from Iggy Pop, Ministry, and Motorhead (Lemmy even makes a brief cameo). By far, the most memorable tune is Hardware's theme song: Order of Death by Public Image Ltd. . I can guarantee that it will stay lodged in your noggin for months, if not years, afterwards.

Richard Stanley disappeared from the film world after being sabotaged by Val Kilmer and New Line Cinema during his work as director on The Island of Dr. Moreau (There's a whole documentary about the debacle entitled Lost Souls: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's The Island of Dr. Moreau. I suggest you check it out, as the specifics are almost too crazy to believe). This was a shame as Stanley showed real potential. Luckily, he's since returned to film with The Color Out of Space, a Lovecraft adaptation . The film making world is lucky to have an auteur such as Richard Stanley back working in it. Let's hope his long gestating Hardware sequel is next!

Most novice filmmakers could only dream of having a first effort as impressive, visually dazzling, and uncompromising as Hardware is. It's a treat for the eyes, the ears, and the mind (What's more terrifying? The horror inside the apartment, or the horrors that wait outside?). In the end, Hardware is an incredibly memorable, fun, intense, and insane ride that is absolutely worth a view (or several). Say it with me! This is what you want, this is what you get!

5 STARS