Canadian accents and ripped out hearts await you in My Bloody Valentine.
The small town of Valentine Bluffs suffers a tragedy when one of their mines collapses with a bunch of mines inside. Rescuers dig for 6 days, but are only able to find a lone survivor: A miner named Harry Warden who has gone mad and resorted to eating his fellow miners to stay alive. Needless to say, he is shipped off to a psychiatric hospital. A year later, he returns and murders the two supervisors responsible for the collapse before disappearing back into the ether, but not before leaving an ultimatum: The town must never celebrate Valentine's Day again, lest they suffer Harry Warden's wrath. Now, 20 years later the town throws caution to the wind and decides to throw a Valentine's dance. It isn't long before bodies start to pile up. Is it Harry Warden, or a copycat?
The plot of My Bloody Valentine isn't bad, and the backstory for Harry Warden is cool (though he seems like one of your more reasonable crazed killers). Unfortunately, the characters aren't all that well fleshed out and are hard to get invested in (They are still likable though).
Paul Kellman looks and acts cool as TJ, a miner who returns to Valentine Bluffs after an absence of several years (It's briefly alluded to early on that he had attempted to make a life on the West Coast). His old girlfriend Sarah (Lori Hallier) is now dating Axel (Neil Affleck), who used to be a good friend of TJ's. Naturally, this creates a love triangle between the three. The triangle is one of the focal points of the film, and it's actually not weak or all that romantic, but is instead pretty tense and filled with toxic masculinity (a nice twist on the usual shmaltzy love triangle subplot). TJ and Axel both act like immature kids, but are still somewhat likable.
Alf Humphries as Howard (the goofball) and Cynthia Dale as Patty are by far the worst characters in the film. The flick really plays up Howard's goofiness to the point where you just want to sock him one. Patty is fine for most of the film, but in the third act she becomes a whimpering girl literally immobilized by fear. You wish that our leads would just leave her to die.
Keith Knight is very good as the friendly Hollis, who has one hell of a memorable mustache. Don Francks plays the Sherriff, who has a questionable morality as he is more than willing to cover up the truth about the recent murders so the dance can continue, until things get out of hand, that is.
The kills in the film are ok. I like the idea of ripping out someone's heart and placing it in a valentine's box...but unfortunately we don't get any kill shots. By far, the best kill in the entire film is the coat room/shower room kill. The mine is also a good setting, and they manage to include a fun mine train ride that takes our characters deep into the mine in the third act.
The ending of My Bloody Valentine doesn't exactly sink the film, but it doesn't help things either. The big reveal isn't necessarily bad, but the explanation leaves much to be desired and feels poorly thought out and lazy. The final scene is kind of cool, but still leaves a bit of a sour taste in the mouth.
In the end, My Bloody Valentine isn't a great movie but it ain't exactly bad either. The most memorable things about it are the character of Harry Warden, his backstory, the toxic love triangle, and the mine. It's worth a watch for horror completionists.
3 STARS
EDIT: The unrated cut makes for a significantly more enjoyable and fun watch as we get a lot more blood, gore, and kill shots. It's not enough to raise the rating, but it is enough to make My Bloody Valentine a much more memorable watch.
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