RE-VISITING SCREAM

 For the final Halloween review of the night, we take a second look at Scream and decide if it lives up to its status as a horror classic. HEAVY SPOILERS FOLLOW!

A horror movie for people who love horror movies. It's never all that scary (suspenseful and tense, sure thing!), but it certainly is a blast from start to finish. It helps that there are some deeper themes involving trauma that permeate the film, and this elevates the proceedings just a tiny bit.

Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox) and Dewey (David Arquette) are more-so minor characters here. They get more character development and upped roles in the sequels. In this first outing Gale spends most of the run-time being a scummy news reporter (it's not until well into the third act that she becomes important to the proceedings and turns into a bit of a heroine), and Dewey kind of just wanders around as an inept cop.  

Neve Campbell as Sidney, our lead, is great. She is believable as your normal, everyday, hometown, girl-next-door (though I don't really buy her as a teen). I love that a large part of her character arc is having to deal with barely suppressed trauma. This makes her character all the more rich,  interesting, engaging.  Sidney makes for an easily iconic horror heroine.

Jamie Kennedy is fantastic as video-store rental clerk and movie aficionado Randy. His role here is minor, but he sets the foundation to become the beating heart of the Scream franchise (even if he does die in the sequel). His best scene is when he is screaming at "Jamie" in Halloween to look behind her as Ghostface creeps up behind him (the gag is that he is actually screaming at himself to look behind him...brilliant, mind-melting meta gag!). Randy plays upon the nerdy bf trope, and brings something new to the table. He is another iconic character in horror.

Rose McGowan plays Tatum, Sidney's best friend. She is a very likable, fun character who isn't given much to do (despite appearing in the film quite a bit). McGowan is very attractive, and she plays the sassy and cool best friend role very well. Tatum's contribution to the franchise is huge and can not be ignored (She is the one who first names the killer "Ghostface". Before her classic line, the killer's costume is officially known as "Father Death", as can be seen in a very brief insert shot). 

Skeet Ulrich is perfection as  boyfriend Billy (boyfriend to Sidney). Ulrich's performance heavily reminded me of Johnny Depp in A Nightmare On Elm Street (though the characters are more different than they are similar). Billy is a mysterious but likable high schooler who isn't the easiest to trust. Ulrich manages to play sexy boyfriend, nice guy, and scenery chewing madman all incredibly well. He has some very entertaining moments throughout the film (in the third act especially). Ulrich's Billy is an iconic character in horror history, and for good reason (I also find his motivation for why he does what he does believable).

The legendary Matthew Lillard plays Stu, boyfriend to Tatum and best friend to Billy. Stu fills in the role of "the funny guy". Lillard hams it up and puts on one of his most memorable performances to date as the wacky and unhinged Stu. He chews every piece of scenery he can find, and Scream is all the better for it. Billy and Stu work really well as The Ghostface Killer in the film, and it can be difficult to tell who is behind the costume in any one scene (I assume the Ghostface that pratfalls a lot tends to be Stu and the Ghostface that is more efficient is Billy, but I could be wrong). They both work as iconic villains.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention  Roger L. Jackson as the voice of the Ghostface killer. His voice is iconic and unforgettable. He can go from sounding like just another confused caller, to a flirtatious mystery man, to a frightening killer in a matter of seconds-minutes. When you think of Scream, you're likely to think of his voice first and foremost (on an unrelated note: I really do love Ghostface in this film. His mannerisms are entertaining, and his costume is iconic and cool). 

Scream is written by Kevin Williamson, and directed by Wes Craven. Together, the two work some serious magic. The film is filled to the brim with many, many horror movie references and horror films themselves act as a major element of the plot. Scream re-defined the horror film, and makes it look easy. The flick runs at almost to hours, but breezes by and feels significantly shorter than that (The third act arrives surprisingly fast). 

Scream feels like a fairly simple horror film, but don't let that fool you. There is definitely a good deal going on underneath the good, not-so-clean fun of the film. With superb direction and writing, some memorable performances and iconic characters, and one bad-ass, super cool killer, Scream earns it's rightful place as one of the great horror films of all time. Just...don't expect to scream.

4.5 STARS

The pumpkins slowly flicker out, the sounds of children's laughter fades away, the ghosties and ghoulies return to their endless slumber for another year. This quarantine edition of Fright Fest goes back into hibernation, but rest assured, next year Fright Fest will re-awaken with a whole new bag of tricks and treats for you to enjoy. Until then, stay safe and enjoy the rest of your night. Happy Halloween!

THE NEW FLESH LIVES WITH VIDEODROME

 "The television screen is the retina of the mind's eye."

"Television is reality, and reality is less than television."

"It has something...that you don't have, Max. It has a philosophy, and that is what makes it dangerous."

"Long live the new flesh."

Happy Halloween my ghosties and ghoulies. With The Virus still raging, I imagine most of you will be glued to your tv screens tonight. So, why not start out my Halloween night reviews with a horror film about television? Let's get lost in the screen with David Cronenberg's Videodrome.

In Videodrome, Max Renn (James Woods), a producer for a sleazy low-budget tv station is looking for the next big thing. In his search, he stumbles across a hidden, secret snuff tv show called Videodrome. It doesn't take long before he becomes obsessed with it, and as he watches more and more he starts to have vivid hallucinations. Intrigued, Max embarks on a quest to discover the truth and the reality behind Videodrome, eventually becoming embroiled in an ever-deepening conspiracy. When his hallucinations become impossible to distinguish from reality, things take a turn for the worst.

Videodrome is directed and penned by horror master David Cronenberg, and this is one of his masterpieces (alongside The Fly). The script is sublime, and his direction is pitch-perfect. Videodrome takes place in a world that has become over-saturated and obsessed with television. The tv dominates every day life, or is about to. The world crafted here is very similar to our own, and is all the more terrifying for it.  

In this world, we follow Max Renn. It is his job to be obsessed with and about television. He is a man of few ethics and scruples. He doesn't believe in anything but television, making him a perfect target for the gospel of Videodrome. James Woods plays Max, and does a phenomenal performance. He manages to take a somewhat sleazy character and make him likable and cool. Woods looks consistently cool, almost like a character out of a noir. This might be appropriate as Videodrome is, at its heart, a fascinating and scary mystery that doubles as a vicious commentary on our world.

Videodrome is a film that takes a hard look at our (unhealthy?) obsession with television, and how it can warp and shape our minds and our experienced (and maybe even shared) reality. It understands that tv can be used for good or ill, and that it has the ability to control and influence our minds and thoughts.  The flick finds some very true, very disturbing things to say that should resonate with audiences long after the film has ended. 

If someone was to ever have the (unwise) idea to remake Videodrome for our modern day, I imagine that they could take the proceedings in a different direction and instead to choose to focus on society's current obsession with internet, smartphones, and technology. That said, Videodrome is a film that is still very much relevant today. It still holds up.

The effects in Videodrome are stunning, impressive, and disturbing (But not so disturbing that they are borderline unwatchable ala the effects in The Fly and Naked Lunch). Rick Baker was in charge of the effects, and it shows. They are  fascinating, quite icky, and hard to forget (especially the scene where Woods presses his face into a tv screen. It's beautiful, odd, surreal, and effective) . We get gun-hands, videocassettes and television sets that inhale and exhale, scar tissue that opens up into gaping wounds into which objects can be inserted or retrieved, and more. 

James Woods is not the only actor that impresses here. Debbie Harry (aka Blondie) plays the sexy and overstimulated Nikki Brand, who shares Max's obsession with Videodrome. She is beautiful, but odd.  Jack Creley plays Brian O'Blivion, the founder and creator of Videodrome. He has some strong beliefs about the future of television, and offers some words of warning to Max about his creation. Sonja Smits plays Bianca O'Blivion, the daughter of Brian who is the head of operations for Cathode Ray Mission, a homeless shelter where those being housed inside are encouraged to watch hours of television non-stop. Both Bianca and her father are mysterious figures. Are they good or bad, what are their true intentions? 

Leslie Carlson plays Barry Convex, the head of a glasses manufacturer called Spectacular Optical. He is another  mysterious figure that is also a disciple of television, and might have some big, bad plans for Videodrome. Peter Dvorsky plays Harlan, the operater of Max's station's unauthorized satellite dish (He is referred to as a pirate). Harlan is a good friend of Max's, whose allegiances will be tested before the end of the film.

Videodrome is a film that has a lot on its mind, and it isn't shy about sharing it's thoughts. It's a trippy, surreal, acid-trip of a film that only gets weirder and more unhinged the longer it goes on. The last 30 minutes or so really pull a mindfuck on the audience, as we, much like Max, are unable to tell where hallucinations end and reality begins (and vice versa). Videodrome is an unforgettable, challenging, intelligent masterpiece that will disturb, thrill, and amuse. Check it out, just don't be surprised if you find it hard to shake off long after the end credits have rolled.

5 STARS

RESOLUTION STARTED BENSON AND MOORHEAD OUT WITH A BANG!

 By far Benson and Moorhead's best film. In it, Michael (Peter Cilella) travels to an unfinished cabin where his friend, Chris (Vinny Curran) has been squatting and doing crystal meth. Michael's aim is to force Chris to detox, and so he chains him to a pipe in the cabin for several days. In between their arguing and catching up, Michael stumbles across different pieces of technology (film reels, pictures, laptop videos, journals, scrapbooks, etc) that begin to tell a bizarre and unsettling story that seems to directly involve them.

This is my first time watching Resolution since 2013, and I'm glad I gave it a second watch, as after the first viewing I was left confused and disappointed. Luckily, after this most recent viewing, I now more-or-less understand what is going on. The duo are being watched by an ancient being (possibly an Elemental since the cabin is on an Indian reservation), who has been "recording" them and attempting to make a movie out of what it is witnessing. It lured Michael to the cabin in the hopes that his presence would help create a satisfactory resolution to it's film. In the end, while the duo come up with a happy ending for their tale, the being does not approve and so dooms them to repeating their story until they find an ending that it likes (an impossible task as seen later in The Endless).

Peter Cilella and Vinny Curan are fantastic in their respective roles and are both very likable and believable as BFFs. Bill Oberst Jr. also has a memorable small role as a French researcher who might have the answers that Michael is looking for regarding what is going on with the technology he keeps finding.

Resolution is part buddy comedy, relationship drama, surreal sci-fi, and tense mystery-thriller. It's a film about two best friends learning to better understand each other, and an angry, vengeful being who only wants to watch them suffer. It's bizarre, surreal, oddly heartwarming, and ultimately kind of sad.

4.5 STARS

IT'S TIME TO EXPLORE A CURSED HAUNTD HOTEL WITH THE HELL HOUSE LLC FILMS

 HELL HOUSE LLC

A young group of friends who craft haunted houses for Halloween think they've hit the jackpot when they stumble across the abandoned Abbadon Hotel, which has a dark backstory. When they set up shop inside, bad things start to occur and they all realize that the hotel may have been abandoned for a good reason.  This film is one of THE WORST examples of SWPS (Stupid White People Syndrome) I've seen in a horror film. Crazy, bad, freaky shit is going down, our leads see this and acknowledge it (even freaking out over it themselves), and yet instead of getting the hell out of dodge they decide to stay or even travel deeper into dangerous territory. It's frustrating. Our leads are likable enough and the actors do pretty good performances. (Ryan Jennifer as Sara, Gore Abrams as Paul, and Jared Hacker as Tony are the most likable. Danny Bellini as Alex is very handsome and looks cool, but is an asshole). The first two acts are great and intriguing, but the third act shits the bed. The scariest thing this film has to offer is a clown mannequin that comes to life and continually stalks our crew. As for the last act where the shit finally hits the fan....it's really hard to make out what is going on on screen due to intense shaky cam and very grainy footage. This wouldn't be quite as annoying, except the whole film is predicated on figuring out what really happened at The Abaddon Hotel, and by the time the film ends the audience isn't any closer to figuring out the truth (It's clear it was likely something paranormal or demonic, but that's all we really know by the end). The big twist/surprise at the very end is also pretty predictable if you are paying attention early on (or have half a brain). If you're looking for a fun haunted house film I'd happily recommend Haunt or The Houses October Built over this flick. Hopefully the sequels are better.

2.5 STARS

HELL HOUSE LLC 2: THE ABADDON HOTEL

In Hell House 2, an investigative journalist ropes the sole survivor from the previous film into giving her a tour of The Abaddon Hotel in an attempt to discover the truth behind the place. If you've seen the first Hell House LLC, then this sequel is required viewing. It fully explains the back story of the Abaddon Hotel, as well as the truth of the events witnessed in the first film (in a way, it makes the first film retroactively better). Unfortunately, the way Hell House LLC 2 is structured and designed is very weak, and almost all the actors are terrible. The only actor that doesn't suck is Vasile Flutur as Mitchell, the only surviving character from the first film. He is very likable and intelligent, and he makes for a great leading man/hero (He's also easily my favorite character out of any in the three films). He does suffer from a bit of SWPS (Stupid White Person Sydrome), but his decision to explore The Abaddon Hotel makes some sense and doesn't come across as complete stupidity.  The story this time around is interesting, and there are still some freaky moments found within. Hell House LLC 2 is considerably weaker than the first Hell House, but it is still not without it's odd charms.

2 STARS

HELL HOUSE LLC 3: LAKE OF FIRE

In Hell House LLC 3, a traveling interactive theater troupe sets up shop inside the (still abandoned) Abaddon Hotel, only to discover the horrors lurking inside for themselves. The worst out of the three Hell House LLC films. The acting here is overall better than that found in Hell House 2, but most of the characters are overly obnoxious live theater performers. This final outing does bring the trilogy to an acceptable ending, but I was not a fan of how it insisted on giving the complete story a too-happy ending (they even retroactively redeem characters found in the first film). With the added insult of a Christ-like savior figure that the film centers around, Hell House LLC 3 is an insult to fans of the Hell House films and is incredibly disappointing. Skip it.

1 STAR

EXCISION LOOKS AT YOUNG FEMALE ANGST THROUGH THE LENS OF HORROR

An ultra-dark, wickedly funny, and very bloody tale of high school angst. Pauline (AnnaLynne McCord) is a troubled, unwell high school rebel with dreams of becoming a surgeon. Her sister Grace (Ariel Winter) has Cystic Fibrosis and when things start to look dire for her, Pauline decides to take matters into her own hands.

AnnaLynne McCord is phenomenal and surprisingly sexy as Pauline, a trainwreck who is dealing with a dying sister, a hyper-dysfunctional family, and high school troubles. She is the star of the show here, and easily carries the film on her back. She is witty, hilarious, hot, and disturbing. There are quite a few dream sequences in which AnnaLynne McCord looks completely unrecognizable, to the point where I thought it was a different actress in those parts.

There isn't a whole lot of plot to Excision, most of the runtime is just following Pauline around as we watch the ups-and-downs of her life. While you're never really sure where the film is headed, or what the point of it all is, rest assured you will definitely be entertained throughout. Excision isn't necessarily a horror film, though it is plenty bloody and disturbing. I'd qualify it more as a super fucked up high school coming-of-age drama. Excision is akin to what you would get if you mixed Jennifer's Body, American Mary, and Ginger Snaps together. It certainly won't be for everyone, but for what it's worth, I highly enjoyed my time with it.

4 STARS

MEET BELIAL WITH BASKET CASE

 Basket Case follows Duane Bradley (Kevin Van Hentenryck), a seemingly ordinary guy in his early 20s who hides a dark secret in a large wicker basket he carries with him. Inside is Belial, his formerly conjoined, deformed brother who was forcibly removed from Duane. Both are furious about this, and so head to NYC to punish those responsible. In between murders, Duane starts up a cute romance with Sharon (Terri Susan Smith), a sweet receptionist at a doctors office.

Basket Case is the directorial debut of schlock master Frank Henenlotter. The film was made for $35,000 and was shot on 16 mm. Most of the kills aren't great, except for the final one. The real draw here is Belial, who is an impressive, freaky creation. He actually has a personality, and it's hard not to feel sympathy/empathy for the little guy and his plight (He has a definite Quasimodo or Phantom type vibe). Belial also has some homosexual tendencies as can be seen by his feelings for his brother, and the jealousy he displays when Duane starts to get closer to Sharon.

Kevin Van Hentenryck is handsome, young, and mostly likable despite being complicit in Belial's murders. He cares deeply about his brother, and the two share a telepathic connection. Memorable supporting roles include Robert Vogel as the manager of the transient hotel Duane and Belial stay at (He has some entertaining reactions to the situations he finds himself in during the film, and is quite likable), and Beverly Bonner as Casey, the kind prostitute next door.

Basket Case isn't all that well paced (as can be evidenced by an extended flashback near the start of the third act), and the plotting is minimal. That said, it's very entertaining and cheesy. The film is also an equal opportunist when it comes to nudity.

In the end, Basket Case is far from being a bad film, despite having it's fair share of flaws. It's surprisingly memorable and lots of fun, it's definitely worth a watch for Belial alone. With memorable, likable, sympathetic leads and some nice performances, Basket Case makes the most out of its meager budget and emerges as a schlock classic.

3.5 STARS

IT'S TIME TO RAISE THE CURTAIN ON STAGEFRIGHT

 Michele Soavi's promising directorial debut. In Stage Fright, a musical about a mass murderer is in rehearsal. When a mental patient (an actor-turned madman) escapes from a nearby psychiatric hospital, he sneaks into the theater and starts to off the cast one-by-one. With the keys to the outside misplaced, the actors find themselves trapped inside with the killer.

Soavi is one of the masters of Italian horror, having worked in the genre behind the scenes, in front of the camera, and as a respected director. With the assistance of cinematographer Renato Tafuri, Soavi peppers Stage Fright with surreal, nightmarish visuals. The shot composition, framing, camera movements, and sets are masterful and gorgeous. The madman's owl head costume is quite odd, but creepy and memorable (fun fact: In some cultures, Owls are closely associated with death).

The actors all do a great job, from the provocateur director (Peter, played by David Brandon), to the gay jokester (Brent, played by Giovanni Lombardo Radice), to our heroine (Alicia, played by Barbara Cupisti). Stage Fright is a playful, meta, and freaky film with quite a few memorable kills and blood/gore effects (There's definitely a sense that Soavi is enjoying himself here). There's also some noticeable dubbing, though I wouldn't necessarily say it's bad. In the end when all is said and done, Stage Fright makes for quite a memorable, fun, surreal nightmare of a film.

4 STARS

STREET TRASH ENJOYS PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES OF TASTE

In Street Trash, we follow the lives of a bunch of disgusting but interesting homeless people. Meanwhile, cheap, 60 year old hooch (called Viper) is being sold to the homeless population, the seller and buyers unaware that one sip causes instantaneous melting.

Street Trash is a film that could never get made today. It's so the opposite of PC that it hurts. There are casual (even humorous) depictions of necrophilia, rape, forced gang bangs, racism, and more...it's pretty abhorrent. Memorable characters include Doorman (James Lorinz), Fred (Mike Lackey, our protagonist), Pat (Frank Schnizer), and Bronson (Vic Noto). Most of the characters are unlikable (except for Kevin and Wendy, portrayed by Mark Sferrazza and Jane Arakawa, respectively.) The best character is Bill (Bill Chepil), a mean but bad-ass cop.

Luckily, the production value on display is surprisingly superb for what was clearly a low-budget production. The effects work is impressive and memorable, especially the numerous melting scenes where the homeless melt into vibrant, multi-colored, acidic goo (a real treat for the eyes). Some of the set design and lighting is damned great as well, and the costumes for the numerous homeless people that pepper the film are eclectic and memorable too.

For a film that's main selling point is Viper and it's effects, there is sadly very few melting scenes until the final 30 minutes or so (There are only a grand total of two meltings within the first two acts or so of the film). That leaves us with a good 50 minutes of following disgusting and fairly despicable characters around as they do their thing. It's entertaining, but also not.

If you are sick and tired of the current PC culture today, then Street Trash just might be your cup of tea. If offensive material isn't your kind of thing, it's still worth a watch for the special effects and production value on display. That said, I can't exactly recommend this film to everyone. It's made for a very specific, niche crowd and if you aren't part of said crowd then Street Trash very likely won't be for you. In the end, Street Trash works best as a special effects showcase and as tasteless, in-your-face schlock.

2.5 STARS

SETTLE IN FOR A CLASSIC GHOST STORY WITH THE CHANGELING

When Professor John Russell (George C. Scott) loses his wife and daughter in a tragic accident, he moves out of his NYC apartment and into an old mansion in an attempt to cope with the tragedy. Unfortunately, the house is haunted by the specter of a young child that torments and communicates with John. Soon, John finds himself entangled in an ever-deepening mystery.

Wow, this wasn't what I was expecting at all. The Changeling is expertly directed by Peter Medak and in his hands the film is tense and suspenseful, continually building and building (and twisting and turning) until it's memorable climax. The cinematography by John Coquillon is superb. The camera movements and angles are striking and stick with the viewer. The set decoration (by Keith Pepper) and production design (by Trevor Williams) are superb as well. The best example of this is in the gorgeous, haunting, and memorable mansion that John moves into.

The mansion is almost a character unto itself. The exterior is creepy and enticing, while retaining an odd aura of foreboding. The interior is lush, elaborate, and inviting. It clashes in an odd way with the mansion's exterior. It's almost like the interior was well-kept while the exterior was left to rot away. It's an unusual choice that only helps to cement the mansion deep in viewer's memories long after the film has ended.

The story here was expertly crafted by Russell Hunter (the script by William Gray and Diana Maddox is serviceable). Hunter's story enjoys toying with viewers. It's always shifting and changing, and is never quite what you thought it was...to the point where when the film does finally settle down with an explanation you can't help but remain tense as you expect yet another reveal or shoe-drop to occur.

The only real complaint I could think of is the Claire character (Trish Van Devere). She is the member of a historical society that sells John the mansion, and assists him with investigating the mystery. She's not necessarily a bad character, but she does fall victim to a lot of female tropes and clichés: She's constantly screaming, crying, or hysterical. This does not help endear her to audiences and just makes her come across as weak and emotional (not a good look).

In the end, The Changling is one of the best haunted house/ghost story/mystery films you can see. It's an enjoyable and super memorable puzzle box of a movie that is fun to tinker and play with. It's a certified classic!

5 STARS

WE REACH THE END OF THE PHANTASM SEQUELS WITH PHANTASM: RAVAGER

In the conclusion to the Phantasm franchise, Reggie finds himself unstuck in time (or  is the past, present, future, and all realities converging? Or is he just suffering from dementia?) as he tries to track down The Tall Man in an attempt to end his madness once and for all, and bring back Jody and Mike. 

This final chapter hearkens back to the first Phantasm, and it is closest in tone to the first than any of the other sequels. There are some nice callbacks to previous films (Reggie gets to play his guitar again, SWEET!), but the story is sure to make your head spin, doesn't feel fully thought out, and is even a little slap-dash at times. The effects are also the worst in any of the Phantasm films (They are quite painful on the eyes).

Don Coscarelli returns to co-write and produce Ravager, with newcomer David Hartman co-writing and taking over the director reigns. The flick does tend to feel more than a little like a fan film at times, and the production value is quite poor. The score isn't terrible, but still can't hold a candle to the first Phantasm's.

Angus Scrimm returns for a final time as The Tall Man  and is just as great as ever. He brings it home one final time, and was in the film more than I expected him to be (his first scene had me on the verge of tears as he literally looks like he is on death's door. Luckily, this is the only time in Ravager that he looks like this). A. Michael Baldwin returns as Mike, and while he is sprinkled throughout the film, this is his best performance as Mike since the first Phantasm. Bill Thornbury also makes a small cameo near the end as Jody. He isn't given much to do, and fails to make an impression. 

Reggie Bannister as Reggie is the focus of this outing, and Ravager cements Reggie as the heart and soul of the entire franchise. He is still great, cool, funny, and lovable. Reggie puts on one last memorable performance to close out the story.

While Phantasm: Ravager's ending isn't the most satisfying, this film is still decent (despite most of the minor characters dong bad acting jobs). You can't help but wish we got a more conclusive ending to the franchise, but in the end I'd say that Ravager is still worth a peek for long time Phantasm fans.

2.5 STARS

LET'S VISIT A GRAVEYARD WITH CEMETERY MAN

 Welcome to a world where life, love and death mean nothing.

Francesco Dellamorte (Rupert Everett) lives a solitary life as a watchman for a cemetery where some of the dead come back to life. It is his job to maintain the grounds and kill any of the "returners". Despite a tough job, he is mostly ignored or ridiculed by others, has a tough time fitting into social situations/society, and dreams of finding true love. After a doomed love affair with a beautiful widow (Anna Falchi), he ruminates on his lot in life as his loss begins to affect his mental health.

Rupert Everett is great as our lead, and looks pretty darn cool most of the time. Francois Hadji-Lazaro is great as well as Francesco's simpleton assistant. The film itself borders on an Army of Darkness-esque tone and style most of the time, while trying to juggle some serious themes about love, life, death, and nihilism. Michele Soavi directs, and does a fantastic job (as always. He manages to fit in some striking and gorgeous visuals here.). The film looks like it's made-for-tv, and some of the effects are cheap, but the setting of the cemetery and some of the areas within it are superb (There's also an awesome Death puppet that actually made me do a spit take). The script by Gianni Romali is great and filled with memorable lines ("I would give my life to be dead.").

Cemetery Man is certainly an acquired taste due to it's goofy tone mixed with some serious, contemplative themes. It's elements don't always mix well, but it is undeniably a highly entertaining but downbeat film. The best way I could describe it is as a nihilistic comic book.

4 STARS

LET'S RAISE A TOAST AS I RE-EVALUATE ROB ZOMBIE'S HALLOWEEN 2

   In Halloween 2, two years have passed since the events of the previous film and Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton) has been adopted by Sherriff Bracket (Brad Dourif) and his daughter Annie (Danielle Harris, who starred in Halloween 4 and 5) and is slowly losing her mind thanks to what appears to be a psychic connection with her older brother, mental trauma from the events of the previous film, survivor's guilt, and possibly genetics (The film does seem to imply Laurie may have inherited the same madness her brother is inflicted with). Meanwhile, Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) has become  a selfish, money-hungry, uncaring asshole who has written a highly hyped memoir that directly profits off of the misery of the victims from Michael's (Tyler Mane) attack. All this while Michael plods slowly back to Haddonfield to enact a vengeful plan that he hopes will bring his family back together forever.

Michael in this film has become someone best resembling a shambling, bearded, old man hobo. He wanders around aimlessly, committing random murders here and there, and is plagued by constant visions of his dead mother with a white horse (oh, and he communicates with her via a version of his 10 year old self). He seems to be downright pissed throughout most of the film, as his murders are much more brutal this time around. Sometimes he grunts when he stabs people, and he actually speaks a word near the end (Believe it or not, I'm ok with this version of Michael...not so much with him speaking though). Michael's story is fairly tragic, as he only wants to re-unite his family but goes about doing so in increasingly violent, harmful and counterproductive ways. Michael is in this film a good deal, but Halloween 2 is more-so interested in Laurie's story, which is a nice switch-up. 

 Out of all the Halloween films, Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 might be the most consistently pretty to look at (Thanks in large part to cinematography by Brandon Trost), as well as the most surreal. There are quite a few shots that are gorgeous and the atmosphere is that of a rich Halloween nightmare (Personally, the Halloween party near the end of the film is the one scene I always think of when I think of the atmosphere I've come to associate with the Halloween holiday). As far as acting goes, Brad Dourif as Sherriff Bracket (He might be the most likable character in the film, as he is sympathetic, kind, and is genuinely doing his best to try to help Laurie and Annie), Danielle Harris as Annie Bracket (Who acts as a sister and "Mother" to Laurie. Notice that we never see her leave the house.), and Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie are all superb. Brea Grant as Mya and Angela Trimbur as Harley  manage to leave a mark as Laurie's new friends and co-workers at a coffee shop. Chase Wright Vanek also fares significantly better than Daeg Faerch did as Young Michael. 

A lot of the film takes place in Laurie and Michael's head space, and that makes this outing  very personal and painfully intimate. Although Laurie's behavior can be quite off putting (She screams A LOT, consistently has mental breakdowns, and is just all around rude to folks most of the time), it's hard not to sympathize and empathize with her. Her character here is suffering from severe trauma doled out two years ago, and she is still struggling to return to normal. The question is, after Laurie's experiences in Zombie's first film, is that even possible? More likely than not, Laurie will remain forever altered (as likely would we all). She is surrounded by people who mean well and are attempting to help her, but each inevitably fail in their mission due to incompetence, a lack of understanding,  an inability to empathize with her, or Laurie's outright rejection of their efforts.

Halloween 2 is not a perfect film. The parts with Deborah Meyers ( Sheri Moon Zombie) and the white horse are silly, but visually striking. There are also some scenes near the end where Deborah and Young Michael stand motionless in the background, and in these parts they just look ridiculous. There is a whole lot of cursing (not the end of the world, but I could see how this would bother some), as well as a scene where two paramedic drivers joke about screwing a corpse (yuck). There's also an extended scene of Michael eating a dog, which is sure to turn some stomachs (Same with most of the brutality and murders found here, really). The take on Loomis in this outing is so different that it might give you whiplash, and he is completely unlikable (Not hard to hate on him). It's difficult to figure out why Zombie chose to go this route with Loomis. The final ending and Laurie's arc might piss people off, but I personally love it.  

Halloween 2 is the rare horror sequel that chooses to directly grapple with the after-effects, trauma, and consequences of a vicious attack. This is Rob Zombie's full, unfiltered take on a Halloween film, and it's painfully original, refreshingly different, and incredibly unique. It's dark, mean, brutal, and savage, but also surprisingly deep, touching, tragic, and sad. It's messy, and it might take more than one viewing to fully comprehend some of the scenes within (the opening and closing scenes come to mind), but Halloween 2 is still one of Zombie's best films (as well as one of the most under-appreciated Halloween movies) and it re-iterates just how creative, visually inventive, bold, and daring an artist Zombie can be.

 I first saw Halloween 2 waaaaay back in 2019. When I first saw it, I absolutely hated it, however I've continued to go back and re-watch the director's cut, and over the years it has cast a strange spell over me. The more I re-watched it, the more I've come to appreciate the flick for what it is. It's been 11 years since my first viewing, and my opinion on it has changed quite a bit. I'm tired of being ashamed of loving something, and so now, at 30, I'm unafraid to stand up and say that I love Rob Zombie's Halloween 2, flaws and all

4 STARS

PHANTASM: OBLIVION MARKS A SWEET FAREWELL FOR CREATOR DON COSCARELLI

 In Don Coscarelli's farewell to his beloved franchise (this was the last Phantasm film he directed and was the sole writer of), we pick up immediately after the end of part 3, with Mike fleeing and eventually being driven to the desert by The Tall Man. Reggie is left to reluctantly give chase.

A. Michael Baldwin, Reggie Bannister, and Bill Thornbury all return as Mike, Reggie, and Jody.  Mike gets a lot more screen time this around. A. Michael Baldwin is fine as Mike. He's not that great of an actor, but his character is still pretty good ,though he spends most of the film wandering around the desert. He isn't given much to do, though his story does hold potential. In this outing, it seems The Tall Man might be grooming Mike to become the next Tall Man, and Mike discovers he has some new telekinetic powers. Unfortunately, Mike's plot is pretty boring.

Reggie is a lovable bad-ass again (He even gets quite a few cool lines), and his plot is the more engaging of the two. He is driving across the country, searching for Mike, kicking some serious ass along the way (Gotta love the cop battle he gets into in one scene. His tuning fork also makes an appearance). Near the end, he dons his iconic outfit from the first Phantasm film and wields his bad-ass 4 barrel shotgun (You're damn right I cheered!).  

Heidi Marnhout makes a brief appearance as Jennifer, an unlucky woman that Reggie bumps into. The film builds up her character a bit, but she is more-or-less quickly thrown away. A shame, since she and Reggie actually have some nice chemistry. Bill Thornbury as Jody is appropriately mysterious. He is still trapped in one of The Tall Man's balls, and the question is raised as to where his allegiances really lie. It's nice to actually get answers about Jody here.

Angus Scrimm returns once again as The Tall Man, and he is still imposing and freaky. This time, he actually is given two scenes where he gets to act as a "good" version of The Tall Man. It's nice to see the guy get to stretch his acting chops a bit.  Phantasm 4 provides some satisfying answers as to The Tall Man's origins, which was a nice surprise (and is actually tied into the first film in a way that makes sense).

Besides the film's slow, meandering pace, the worst thing about this fourth outing is the abundance of flashbacks to the first Phantasm (A good deal  of which are apparently outtakes/deleted scenes, so that's nice). They are constant during the film's first two acts, and their only purpose really is to pad out this flick's runtime (Though something cool is done with the final flashback). Without the flashbacks, Phantasm 4's runtime would likely only be a little over an hour (far from the required 80 minutes for a film). 

The ending this go around is actually more satisfying than the endings to Phantasm 2 and 3. It's by no means a perfect ending, but it didn't feel slap-dash and lazy (like Phantasm 3),and didn't leave me questioning previous events (like Phantasm 2 did). This ending actually gave me some chills, which was appreciated.  At times, we also get the return of a slower Phantasm theme (which I've seriously missed). 

In the end, Phantasm 4 is not a great film...but it is perfectly fine for what it is. If it wasn't for the abundance of flashbacks, I likely would have given this outing 3 stars. It makes for a fine goodbye for creator and runner Don Coscarelli.

2.5 STARS

TENEBRAE IS EASILY MY PERSONAL FAVORITE ARGENTO FILM

 Argento's most well-crafted mystery. In Tenebrae (Ten-Eh-Bray), famed mystery-horror novelist Peter Neal (Anthony Franciosa) stops in Rome during a press tour for his newest novel, named Tenebrae. Unfortunately, a crazed killer obsessed with Neal and his book commences a killing spree while he's there, targeting beautiful, young women. Naturally, Neal is brought on by the police to help investigate and soon both him and the police are trapped in an ever-spiraling web of murder, obsession, and madness.

Tenebrae's score (by Claudio Simonetti, Fabio Pignatelli, and Massimo Morante) is just about perfection. It's very synth-y, and very rock-and-roll. The directing and script by Dario Argento are masterful. The story is very twisty, and the end reveal is just about impossible to predict. The cinematography by Luciano Tovoli is perfect as well (Some gorgeous tracking shots, and impressive camera movements and angles).

Tenebrae might be Argento's bloodiest film (the amount of blood on display here was honestly, shocking.), and it's definitely the one that most enjoys playing mind games with its viewers. There's some creative, cool kills, and a decent amount of beautiful, naked women (mostly in the first act). The film also features a nice twist where it's not so much our protagonist who becomes obsessed with solving the case, but the killer who is obsessed with our protagonist. It's also refreshing that Tenebrae isn't afraid to delve into the psyche's of both our "hero" and the killer.

Tenebrae is a film that is purposefully confusing and dizzying (It also has some fun silliness at times, Argento was definitely enjoying himself here). It's filled with ambiguity, and even when the film ends viewers might still be left with some questions. Tenebrae is easily one of Argento's finest, most memorable, and most impressive films (It's also one of his most complex). It doesn't hurt that it's an absolute blast as well!

5 STARS

DEEP RED/PROFONDO ROSSO IS ARGENTO'S INFLUENTIAL MASTERPIECE

 In Deep Red (or Profondo Rosso), talented pianist Marcus Daly (David Hemmings) witnesses a horrific murder and soon becomes obsessed with solving the crime on his own. His investigation leads him to an abandoned "haunted" mansion with a mysterious past that seems connected to a murder involving a young child.

Deep Red is easily one of Dario Argento's best. The suspense is rich and constant. The score (by The Goblins and Giorgio Gaslini) is perfection: It's jazzy, reminiscent of rock-and-roll, creepy, synthy and weird at times as well. It's easily one of The Goblins' best work and is extremely memorable.

The cinematography by Luigi Kuveiller is superb as well (lots of sweeping, zooming tracking shots. The abandoned "haunted" mansion set is gorgeous too). The directing by Argento is masterful. There is not as much goofiness as there is in other Italian horror films, and Deep Red takes itself fairly seriously while still finding time to show its audience a good time. There are some gorgeous visuals, good blood/gore effects and nice kills, but the focus here is more-so on suspense and story.

This film does suffer from a bit of sexism (Though it is an important attribute of our protagonist, and the film doesn't seem to side with him on his views) and an abrupt ending, but overall it's still a fantastic, fun, engrossing watch. Deep Red likely influenced Halloween and Dressed To Kill (In turn, Deep Red was likely influenced by the works of Alfred Hitchcock. It has a Columbo-esque vibe a good deal of the time, and it also features one of the creepiest doll scenes in film). It's an important, entertaining, and super-memorable film that should be a part of every horror fans must-see list.

5 STARS

BOB TAKES A DIARRHEA DUMP ON THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY

 In The House By The Cemetery, after a colleague is murdered, Dr. Norman Boyle (Paolo Malco), moves him and his family (His wife, Lucy Boyle, portrayed by Katherine MacColl and his son, Bob, portrayed by Giovanni Frezza) into the house his colleague was studying so he can finish the research. It isn't long before spooky goings-ons occur and the family find their lives in immediate danger.

The House By The Cemetery is a cult film. It's considered part of The Gates of Hell trilogy, though it isn't about the gates of Hell in any way. The film is a mixture of the haunted house genre, the slasher genre, and has some elements of The Shining. The gore/blood effects are good, and the house at the center of the film is super-cool (Honestly, I wouldn't mind staying in the house for a week or so). The house is implied to have a mysterious backstory, but we never learn it or the history of the Freudsteins (the monsters stalking the house). The design for Dr. Freudstein is very cool, but looks kind of fake.

Catriona MacColl and Paolo Malco act as our adult leads, and they are fine. Their plots are interesting enough, and it's MacColl's presence that is the only connection to the previous films in the trilogy. Ania Pieroni is gorgeous as Ann, but is given nothing to do.

Unfortunately, the nail in the coffin for this film is the character of Bob (Giovanni Frezza). Fucking Bob! He's a telepathic kid that acts as the central character for the film. His dubbing is ear-bleedingly bad (It's like puberty hit the kid hard. He sounds like the child from Vivarium), his dialogue is awful, and he's altogether useless. Bob is easily one of the worst child characters I've seen in a film (You know it's bad when I'm actively rooting for the little shit to bite it in the goriest way possible). House also has a 2nd annoying telepathic kid character: Mae, as played by Silvia Collatina.

Is House By The Cemetery worth a stay? I'd say not really, it's certainly super disappointing when you compare it to The Beyond and The City of The Living Dead. House By The Cemetery isn't awful...it also isn't really good either. As is, it's only a little better than ok. Cut out the Bob character, and the film would have been exponentially better.

2.5 STARS

THE BLACK CAT IS AN UNDERRATED GEM FROM LUCIO FULCI

 A Black Cat is stalking around a small Italian village, causing numerous deaths. A weird psychic (Patrick Magee) might be involved in some way as well. An American journalist (Mimsy Farmer) visiting the village catches wind of the murders and decides to investigate along with a Scotland Yard detective (David Warbeck).

Lucio Fulci is an insane genius. Imagine if someone took heavy amounts of mind-altering substances and then decided to adapt Edgar Allen Poe's The Black Cat. This is essentially what you would get. The film is delightfully bonkers. Surprisingly, it gets most of the beats of Poe's story correct while stull finding enough space to add in some madness.

Patrick Magee is the best actor here. He is completely magnetic and creepy, just his mere presence is enough to captivate you. The gothic mansion he lives in and the cellar underneath are gorgeous and feel like they have been ripped right out of Poe's imagination. There's not as much visual style, or blood and gore. Instead, this film is completely committed to making you feel like someone slipped a drug into your cocktail. When the full details of the plot emerge, it's hard not to feel like you've gone a little crazy yourself (in a good way).

The Black Cat is easily one of Fulci's most insane, wacked-out films. It's also one of his best.

 4 STARS

DARIO ARGENTO FIRST TAKES FLIGHT WITH THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE

 Sam Dalmas (Tony Musante), a struggling American writer visiting Italy happens to witness an assault on a woman. She survives, but he's pulled into the investigation by the police, who confiscate his passport so he won't be able to flee. It isn't long before he's become obsessed with finding the killer, bringing his/her wrath on both him and his Italian girlfriend Julia (Suzy Kendall).

Dario Argento's directorial debut remains one of his best works. It establishes themes he would continue to explore with Deep Reed (or Profondo Rosso). Plumage is definitely expertly directed, and Argento plays with camerawork a good deal here (with assistance from cinematographer Vitorrio Storaro). This film plays host to some of Argebto's most memorable scenes including an elevator death (where the killer slashes out at the audience ala Psycho. Argento was most clearly influenced by Hitchcock in his early work), and one where someone falls to their death, among others. The score by master Ennio Morricone is sweet as well, managing to be pretty creepy and establishing the tone for the film throughout.

The mystery here is intriguing, and you can't help but feel yourself pulled deeper into the intrigue and mystique along with our protagonist. That said, the plot does stretch believability at times. I didn't buy Sam's obsession with the crime, and it's hard to believe that the police would encourage a layman to play detective. There is also a surprising lack of blood or gore, as the focus is purely on building suspense and mystery, and messing a little bit with audience's minds. This film takes itself pretty seriously, despite some unintended silliness here and there. Plumage also looks consistently pretty, and it's hard not to find yourself falling under it's spell.

In the end, while I can't say that The Bird With The Crystal Plumage is the best giallo or even Argento's best work, it is still a very memorable, fun, and freaky film.

4.5 STARS

PHANTASM 3: LORD OF THE DEAD IS DOA

Mike and Reggie's quest to vanquish the Tall Man hits a snag when Mike is kidnapped by The Tall Man and Reggie is left to give chase. Along the way, he encounters some of the most annoying and insufferable supporting characters to ever assault your eyeballs.

This film sucks. Reggie (Reggie Bannister) and Mike (A. Michael Baldwin) aren't bad-asses anymore, and more often than not are caught with their pants down. the nun-chuck wielding Rocky (Gloria Lynne Henry, who can't act her way out of a paper bag) and sharpshooter Tim (Kevin Connors, who is an annoying kid that the film basically tries to turn into the new Mike) are pretty bad as new members of Mike and Reggie's team. There's also a gang of thieves that are insufferable and act as secondary antagonists for our group. The film does Reggie a disservice by making him incompetent and constantly in the mood for love (He's always trying to bang Rocky, and it's pretty embarrassing for him).

It's nice to have A. Michael Baldwin and Bill Thornbury reprise their roles as Mike and Jody, respectively. Unfortunately, they aren't in the film much (for one, Jody spends pretty much the entirety of the film trapped inside one of The Tall Man's balls), and both are given little to do. Surprisingly, Bill Thornbury is the coolest one here.

Angus Scrimm is back once again as The Tall Man, and he does a significantly better job than he did in Phantasm 2. He gets to say "BOY!" again, and is imposing and freaky. The film does go for a more odd, surreal tone (with plenty of nice, creepy, surreal visuals) that is closer to the original Phantasm.

Unfortunately, the ending feels very slapdash. Phantasm 3 doesn't really feel like it had an end destination in mind, and comes across as uninspired for the most part (despite an explanation for the dwarves, the balls, and The Tall Man that makes some sense).

In the end, Phantasm 3 is an enormous disappointment that wastes it's talented returning cast and the good will the series had built up till now. I'm going to have to say this one is a hard skip.

1.5 STARS

LET'S RE-VISIT JENNIFER'S BODY

Jennifer's Body follows Jennifer; a smokin hot cheer captain type; and her semi-nerdy BFF (or as they call themselves "Biffs") Needy (Amanda Seyfried). After a particularly crazy night at a bar, Jennifer is abducted by a hot boy band. A few hours later, she shows back up at Needy's house covered in blood. It isn't long after that that Jennifer begins her new diet consisting of unsuspecting teenaged boys.

Jennifer's Body is entertaining, but not all that good. Jennifer's Body is a film that sells itself as edgy, sexy, cool, stylistic, and funny. While it has each of those elements to different degrees, it doesn't fully succeed at any of them (Plus the final demon bite twist is pure and total insulting horse shit that comes across as lazy). 

It's definitely more funny than it is anything else, although some of the jokes fall flat (especially the tampon joke that sucks all the air out of an otherwise cool moment). The worst things about Jennifer's Body is that it's not as sexy and bloody/gory as it could be (which is very frustrating). We get plenty of Megan Fox in hot clothing, and there is some bloodshed, but it's just not enough for any die hard horror hound (easily the bloodiest/goriest scene is Jennifer reaching into one of her victim's corpses and pooling his blood into her mouth. We never really get to see her rip into a boy, the closest we get is an extended shadow shot/scene). 

Megan Fox fits the role of Jennifer well enough. Amanda Seyfried is great as Needy, our lead. Johnny Simmons is great as well and quite likable as Needy's boyfriend Chip. They make for a cute couple. The film focuses on the relationship between Needy and Jennifer, and their growing rivalry. It approaches it realistically, which is nice. Adam Brody steals the few scenes he's in as the leader of an evil indie boy band.

In the end, Jennifer's Body is a film that desperately wants to be a cool, edgy, sexy, stylistic, humorous horror film but it tries too hard in some areas  and doesn't try hard enough in others. It's a fun, entertaining flick that could have been/should have been great, but it doesn't leave much of a mark in the end. To steal a line from my earlier review: It's basically Juno in a Halloween costume (I will say it's definitely better than Juno though).

2 STARS

PHANTASM 2'S GOT BALLS

 Ok folks, time for an announcement. This year, I will be reviewing ALL of the Phantasm sequels, and deciding if any are worth your time. Seeing it's October first, I figured why not start the month off right with the first installment of my Phantasm sequel series.

In Phantasm 2, a 19 year old Mike (now played  by James LeGros, who is around 26 years old and looks it) is released from a psychiatric hospital, and not a moment too soon as The Tall Man (Angus Scrimm) has been ravaging small towns across the U.S. . Mike teams back up with his old pal Reggie (Reggie Bannister), and armed with some homemade weapons, they set out to hunt down The Tall Man and his minions. Along for the ride are Liz (Paula Irvine), whose hometown is the target of The Tall Man's next killing spree, and the sizzling hot Alchemy (Samantha Phillips), a hitchhiker whom Mike and Reggie pick up on their quest.

James LeGros takes a little getting used to as Mike (He doesn't look quite right for the role imo), but ultimately makes for an acceptable replacement. Reggie Bannister is as cool and charismatic as ever. Both of our leads have great chemistry and come across as total bad-asses.  Their weapons of choice are pretty nifty and include a hand-crafted flamethrower and a cobbled together 4 barrel shotgun (FUCK YEAH! It's nice to see our heroes take a more proactive approach this time around). 

This film was clearly made on a higher budget, and it shows. The effects are of a higher quality. Some of the practical/creature effects are impressive and gross, though they don't exactly feel like something you would find in a Phantasm film (Maybe more like what you would find in a Nightmare on Elm Street film). The score isn't quite as good as the first Phantasm's, but still works for this sequel. There is also some comedy in this outing, and there are a few nut shots thrown in.

There is more of a focus on action in this one. There are two explosions within the first 20 minutes of the flick, and most of the film centers around Mike and Reggie's efforts to track down the Tall Man. Don Coscarelli returns to write and direct, and does a bang-up job once again. There are some surreal images here, but for the most part the dream-like atmosphere the first film had is gone. This didn't bother me, but I could see how it might be a turnoff for some.

There are some new things added in the sequel. For starters, Mike now has new telepathic powers that both The Tall Man and Liz use to communicate with him. It's an odd choice that doesn't really feel like it belongs here. It honestly feels like something pulled out of Friday The 13th Part 7: The New Blood. 

The balls make a return here, and are given some nifty new tricks as well as a secondary purpose that feels a little odd. The Tall Man also receives some new henchmen. He gets some creepy new tall assistants (that kind of look like the butlers at The Haunted Mansion). There are also some "Gravers"  (who wear gasmasks, pretty cool design) who exist solely to dig the corpses out of their graves and deliver them to the mortuary. 

The Tall Man has more lines in this outing, but they aren't as memorable and he isn't as imposing or as intimidating. He's still a good villain though.  Liz is pretty cute, but it's Alchemy who steals some scenes with her cool name and smoking hot bod. She shares a romance with Reggie (Who is more than a little old for her, but whatever), and the sex scene they share together is pretty cool (Alchemy definitely needs to be tamed).The ending this time around is neat, but the final twist doesn't feel right and comes across as something Coscarelli threw in only because the first film had a final twist too. 

In the end, Phantasm 2 is the rare sequel that is just about as good/great as the original was...just in different ways. If you love 80s horror films or some bad-ass action (and some good comedy), you'll be sure to enjoy this 2nd outing. Phantasm 2 successfully continues the story of Mike, Reggie, and The Tall Man. It's certainly not perfect, but it is a ton of no-holds-barred fun!  Check it out!

4 STARS