FRIGHT FEST: LISA FRANKENSTEIN

Set in 1989, Lisa Frankenstein follows traumatized teen Lisa Swallows. Alienated and outcast, she spends most of her time in a dilapidated graveyard where she befriends a handsome headstone. When an intense bolt of lightning sends the corpse buried under said headstone stumbling to Lisa’s front door, together they embark on a murderous mission to make the corpse whole again.

Lisa Frankenstein is Diablo Cody’s return to horror-comedies after a fifteen year absence. Her previous effort was the wildly popular Jennifer’s Body (directed by Karyn Kusama). While that film tried to do both horror and comedy equally, Lisa Frankenstein leans fully into the comedy with better results. 

Kathryn Newton plays the titular Lisa, and does a pretty good job (Certainly better than her efforts in Quantumania). She makes Lisa a very likable character, even as she grows into an arguably worse person as the flick rolls on. Carla Gugino (QUEEN!), plays Janet, the reluctant and hateful adoptive mother of Lisa. While her role/performance can’t match the insane heights of her role in The Fall of the House of Usher, Gugino is still very funny and memorable with limited screen time (and yes, thankfully there is a RHPS joke involving her). 

Liza Soberano is very good as Taffy, Lisa’s adopted sister. Taffy is one of the cool, popular girls at school. She’s shown to be fairly dumb and vain, but is one of the few characters who treats Lisa with any kind of kindness and empathy. She’s surprisingly likable and memorable. 

Cole Sprouse (of Zack and Cody and Riverdale fame) plays the re-animated corpse that Lisa falls for. He is mute for 99% of the movie, but his reactions to events are highly entertaining. He does a lot with just his body language, the way he moves, and his facial expressions. It also doesn’t hurt that Cody grew up to be pretty damn cute (and all of his outfits look great on him)! He just about steals every scene he’s in. I can’t wait to see him in more movies.

Zelda Williams (daughter of Robin Williams) directs Lisa Frankenstein. She has directed some very independent films before, but she seems to have mostly directed music videos. Under her direction, Lisa leans heavily into the goofy and the silly. It can be a bit jarring, but at least it’s consistent with its humorous tone. 

Mark Worthington is in charge of production design and Paula Huidobro does cinematography (and is it just me, or is Huidobro too much fun to say?). Lisa Frankenstein is highly stylized, so-much-so it practically bleeds style. The film looks and feels like it’s set in the late 80s, to the point where audiences should be able to tell the time period it’s set in just by the way the flick looks (we don’t get confirmation of the year until well into the 2nd act). Lisa features two delightful animated sequences as well as a fun dream sequence. These, as well as the overall tone and style, help to set Lisa Frankenstein apart from other films of its ilk.

Those expecting any kind of horror from Lisa Frankenstein are bound to be disappointed. It would seem Diablo Cody learned lessons from Jennifer’s Body and has decided to stick to what she does best: Comedy. Lisa is practically wall-to-wall jokes, and most work incredibly well. There’s also a good deal of heart and sweetness hidden under the cotton-candy bubblegum aesthetics. Lisa does feel like it wraps up a little too quickly, but when that’s the biggest problem with your film, there is little need to worry. 

Lisa Frankenstein is certainly flawed in some respects, but damn if it isn’t a bunch of laugh-filled fun. Diablo Cody’s return to horror-comedies is mostly a success. Luckily for us, this flick is far from a shambling, stumbling corpse. It’s confident, assured, and fairly memorable. Teens and adults should find much to enjoy with this macabre, funny flick.

3 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: IMMACULATE

In Immaculate, Cecilia (Sydney Sweeney) moves from the U.S. to Italy to take her vows and become a nun. While boarding at the local convent, she awakens to find that she has become miraculously pregnant. Those at the convent begin to worship Cecilia, seeing this as the work of God, but Cecilia isn't so sure. Things might not be as they appear. 

Immaculate is way more of a bonkers, silly B-movie than you would expect (I’m honestly not sure the film knew it was silly/ a B-movie). It reminded me of A Cure For Wellness in a weird way. Sydney Sweeney easily earns her status as a scream queen. Álvaro Morte as Father Sal Tedeschi is great as well. Bernadetta Percarolli as Sister Gwen is memorable in a supporting role with minimal screen time. 

There isn’t much development for our characters (Sister Gwen, Sydney Sweeney’s Sister Cicelia, and Father Sal Tedeschi get the most, and even then it’s pretty thread bare), and the film feels fairly simple and straight-forward. There’s also a good deal of jump-scares, none of which are all that effective or scary. 

It’s not until the start of the third act that Immaculate reveals it’s secretly been a B-movie all along. The last 20 minutes goes-for-broke, and the final 3 or 4 minutes are quite memorable (though I wish they had shown more). Immaculate is entertaining/ “fun”, very fucked up, and very sacrilegious. Not today, Satan!

3 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: THE FIRST OMEN

 The First Omen follows Margaret (Nell Tiger Free), a young nun who travels from Massachusetts to Rome to “take the veil”. Once situated in a convent/orphanage, she befriends a troubled teen named Carlita (Nicole Sorace) and stumbles upon a dark conspiracy involving the Catholic Church that threatens not only both of their lives, but potentially the entire world.

The First Omen is directed by Arkasha Stevenson. This is her feature film debut. Previously she had mostly directed episodes of tv shows like Legion (one episode), Brand New Cherry Flavor (one episode), and Channel Zero (six episodes). For her first theatrical effort, she hits an absolute home-run. Her direction is superb and precise. The First Omen is written by Arkasha Stevenson, Tim Smith, and Keith Thomas (The Vigil). The screenplay is pretty great and effective.

The First Omen is set in 1971 (five years prior to the events of The Omen). The film not only looks and feels accurate to the time period (props to the costume design by Paco Delgado and the production design by Eve Stewart), it also feels like it was made in that era as well. It’s an atmospheric, tense slow-burn that plays like a mixture of The Omen and Rosemary’s Baby. The aforementioned direction by Arkasha Stevenson and the exquisite, haunting cinematography by Aaron Morton help to cement the illusion (there’s even film grain!!!). The score crafted by Mark Korven is sure to send chills down your spine, and adds to the atmosphere and tension.

Bill Nighy, Charles Harris, and Eugenia Delbue are memorable in small roles (Delbue in particular is incredibly disturbing as an unfortunate pregnant woman). Ralph Inneson is perfection as Father Brennan, an ex-communicated priest determined to stop the Catholic Church’s plans. He feels like he belongs in the 70s and milks the most out of his supporting role (The character also plays a supporting role in the og Omen). Inneson’s rough, gravelly voice should be enough to keep most audience members pinned to their seat whenever he is on screen.

Nicole Sorace is great as Carlita. She does creepy well. Nell Tiger Free is phenomenal as Margaret, our heroine. Margaret has a troubled past (hence why she bonds with Carlita), and is plagued by horrific, disturbing visions. As she delves deeper into the Catholic church’s dark secret/s, the more her grasp on her own sanity begins to waver. Nell Tiger Free puts on a powerhouse, tour-de-force performance that is gripping, and even scary in some moments. Through it all she remains very likable. The First Omen acts as an incredible calling card for the young actress. You definitely won’t forget about her after the end credits roll.

While The First Omen teases who the Catholic Church is after, the truth is pretty easy to guess. There aren’t many surprises here, but the ride this film takes you on is top-notch and often incredibly disturbing and graphic (the imagery is consistently striking, horrifying, and memorable). The First Omen came very close to receiving an NC-17 rating, and it’s not hard to see why. This flick will F you up!

While certainly no one was asking for a prequel to The Omen, and the trailers didn’t do much to inspire excitement or hope, The First Omen succeeds at just about everything it set out to do. It’s a faithful prequel to The Omen, it’s the best religious horror film we’ve gotten in a long time, and it’s a refreshing return to the old-school/70s style of horror movie-making. The First Omen also has some scarily pertinent commentary on the Catholic Church. This film is, against all odds, a masterpiece and an absolute classic in the making. See it on the biggest screen you can, and buckle up. Things are about to get REAL!

5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER ONE COPY-AND-PASTES IT'S WAY TO FAILURE

 If you’ve seen the OG Strangers, there is absolutely no reason to see this. Despite being marketed as a prequel, this is not that. First of all, it’s set in modern day (so that prequel promise goes right out the window). The filmmakers, for whatever stupid, misguided reason, seem dead-set on remaking the first film.

Boyfriend leaves temporarily so Strangers can terrorize girlfriend? CHECK! Old-timey songs are played on a record? CHECK! Fake scare where it appears a Stranger is about to find the girlfriend, but it’s actually the bf? CHECK! Cell phone is destroyed? CHECK! Gf tries reaching police but has difficulty with audibility? CHECK! BF accidentally shoots an innocent? CHECK! Bf and gf end up tied up together, where they profess their love? CHECK! Bf and gf are about to have sex when a Stranger knocks on the door and asks for Tamara? CHECK! Stranger unscrews porch light to make it darker when she knocks? CHECK!

The film makes sure to check off just about every single beat from the OG. The very little that is new does not amount to much. The bf has asthma, there’s a scene where our heroes escape through a crawl space, the police are dispatched to help (but don’t arrive until after the Strangers are finished), the bf gets the one-up on one of the Strangers (via a shotgun) but waits too long to take his shot, our couple’s attempt at escape is thwarted when one of the Strangers pins their vehicle against a tree, the town and it’s inhabitants are more of a character (and will presumably be more important in future films), and the gf ends up surviving.

There are so many opportunities to take the story down a different path or even subvert audience expectations, but our filmmakers stubbornly refuse every single damned time. The direction by Renny Harlin is fine. Attempts at tension/suspense are made (I suppose some might find them effective… I didn’t). The cinematography by José David Montero is decent (There are some pretty atmospheric shots in the third act). The score by Justin Caine Burnett is good/servicable. Madelaine Petsch and Froy Gutierrez are easy on the eyes. The film is mercifully short. That’s literally it for the good.

The screenplay by Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland is very, very, very bad. Previously the two wrote fifteen episodes of King of the Hill and co-penned the screenplay for Due Date. Their work here flat out sucks. Our couple continually make dumb decisions (they might as well be carrying around signs that read KILL ME) and much of the dialogue is laughably bad and feels forced and unnatural. There’s also a good deal of expository dialogue as well.  

This is one of the tamest R rated horror films I’ve seen in a long time. There is little violence, blood, or gore. When it starts with a cut-away kill, you know you’re in trouble. The Strangers attempt to kill our characters at the end involve stabbing each of them once and only once (Seriously, how was the gf the only one who survived? Because she was stabbed a few minutes later after the bf? Because the bf had asthma? BULLSHIT!)

Froy Gutierrez’s Ryan is written very poorly (as are all of our characters). He falls prey to his masculinity a good deal of the time, acts like an dumb asshole a decent amount , and is all-around very stupid. Madelaine Petsch’s Maya fares ever so slightly better, but she is still far from a compelling heroine. Richard Brake is completely wasted as the Sheriff. He has no dialogue and only appears for less than a minute in the first act (You have to assume he will play a bigger role in the upcoming sequels). The titular Strangers aren’t particularly intimidating or scary, either. 

In the end The Strangers: Chapter One is bad, but harmless. Average horror fans might have some fun (same goes for fans of bad movies). It definitely doesn’t give much hope for the future sequels since they are also penned by Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland. In other words, I wouldn’t expect any originality, creativity, or good characters from the upcoming films (Chapter Two looks set to be a rote revenge thriller).

The Strangers: Chapter One is a paint-by-numbers job done by a child with little skill and no craftsmanship. It might work for those that haven’t seen the OG. Everyone else need not apply.

1.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: UNIVERSAL FINALLY GETS ITS DARK UNIVERSE MOVIE WITH ABIGAIL

 Ain’t no party like a vampire party!

In Abigail, a group of un-professional criminals kidnap the daughter of a wealthy businessman. They hide out with the daughter in a mansion, waiting for him to pay up the fee. When their co-horts start to drop like flies, the remaining members of the group find  that all exits have been barricaded. Much to their horror, they realize that the daughter has been hiding a deadly secret: she is a vampire, and they are her prey. Let the fun commence!

Abigail stars Melissa Barrera as Joey, Dan Stevens as Frank, Kathryn Newton as Sammy, Kevin Durand as Peter, and Alisha Weir as Abigail. Most of the cast shine in their roles and are very memorable. It’s great to see Dan Stevens back in a horror film, and it’s clear he’s enjoying himself here. Melissa Barrera is better than she was in the Scream films. Kathryn Newton gets some memorable lines and a killer dance scene. Kevin Durand is much fun as the burly dum-dum.

Naturally, this is Abigail’s film and Alisha Weir (who previously played Matilda in Netflix’s Matilda the Musical) puts on a career-making performance. She’s having a lot of fun playing the pint-sized menace who enjoys playing with her food. She’s also fantastic at ballet and dancing. It’s easy to buy her as a centuries old monster masquerading as a child, and Alisha puts plenty of gleeful menace and snark into her role. There’s no doubt about it, Abigail easily emerges as a new horror icon!

Radio Silence (the maestros behind Scream V, Scream VI, and Ready or Not) are responsible for Abigail. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet direct. Stephen Shields and Guy Busick Penn the screenplay. Both the direction and writing are superb. Abigail takes itself seriously enough, but isn’t afraid to crack some great jokes on occasion (don’t be surprised if you get some hearty laughs at times).

Produced by Universal, Abigail sets out to be a modern re-invention of the vampire mythos/lore. It’s too much fun watching Radio Silence put their own creative spin on vampires, their weaknesses, and their strengths. The production design by Susie Cullen is aces as well. The mansion Abigail is set in is rich, elaborate, and gorgeous. Much like its titular antagonist, the mansion also comes with a few secrets.

Imagine if you mixed together Return of the Living Dead, The Ransom of Red Chief, Dracula’s Daughter, and the atmosphere of a Hammer horror film. The intoxicating mixture would result in Abigail. It takes 40-45 minutes to get to the meat of the movie, the third act has some twists which don’t land perfectly, and there is a good deal of CGI blood (there are practical effects featured as well), but these minor nitpicks aren’t enough to stake an otherwise gory good time at the theater. Horror freaks and vampire fans should  find much to enjoy here. With The Invisible Man, Abigail, and the upcoming The Wolf Man, I’d say Universal’s modern re-invention of their classic monsters is finally hitting all the right notes.

4.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: MAXXXINE

“I will not accept a life I do not deserve.”

In MaXXXine, Maxine has moved to Hollywood and become a big name in the adult film industry, but she’s ready for the next step: movie star. When she’s cast in a horror movie sequel, she finds reality mimicking fiction as a serial killer begins to hunt her, killing off anyone she is close to along the way. While dealing with her possible impending doom, Maxine also grapples with her guilt over the death of her friends back in X and the trauma that continues to linger after the events of that film.

MaXXXine is a sexy, stylish, and very cool slasher that leans heavily into its character study elements (it also often feels like a Brian De Palma film… maybe like Body Double). Every character is immensely entertaining and well-performed from Giancarlo Esposito’s Hollywood agent, to Elizabeth Debicki’s director, to Kevin Bacon’s corrupt/dirty PI (what a dick), to Bobby Canavale and Michelle Monaghan’s detectives, to Moses Sumney’s video store clerk. Of course, Mia Goth outshines them all as Maxine Minx (the one who gets closest to her level is Kevin Bacon). It’s nice to delve into her psyche and get a better sense of who she is as a person. 

MaXXXine makes the most out of its Hollywood setting. The streets of LA feel dirty and grimy, and the backlots feel shiny and clean. There’s even a chase that takes us through the Courthouse/Courtyard from BTTF to the interior of the Psycho House from Psycho. The Bates Motel and Psycho House are featured prominently in two scenes, and it is so cool to see these horror icons back on the big screen. The score and soundtrack are great too (MaXXXine opens with ‘Give Me All Your Lovin’ and ends with ‘Bette Davis Eyes’).

MaXXXine attempts to mix together elements of Pearl and X. This film has a message about the Satanic Panic of the 80s, and is also partially a character study about Maxine. It features quite a few references, winks, and nods to those films as well. Unfortunately, the message found here is undone by the silly final 20-25 minutes or so (It makes it hard to take the message seriously). The who-dun-it elements are fairly fun, even though the person behind the killer’s giallo-inspired costume is fairly obvious. There is some blood and gore, but not as much as you might hope. There’s also very little nudity.

MaXXXine is the weakest of the X trilogy, but it is by no means a weak film. It’s actually fairly great, and a lot of fun. It’s easily the coolest horror film of 2024 thus far.

4 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: HOUSE OF WAX

 In House of Wax (2005), a group of rowdy college students take a road trip to a college football game. After camping out for a night, they awaken the next morning to find one of their cars has had their fan belt severed. Making a quick detour into the small town of Ambrose for a replacement, they find their trip delayed indefinitely as they will find only terror, torture, and death in the small town and it's waxy tourist traps.

House of Wax was a film that seriously fucked me up when I first saw it back in 2005/2006, and it still holds up surprisingly well today. Elisha Cuthbert (Carly) and Chad Michael Murray (Nick) make for great heroes who are easy to root for. Their friends…not so much, though Jared Padalecki has a very disturbing extended scene. Also, Paris Hilton isn't as terrible as you might expect.

Our two leads do share a believable amount of chemistry (some might say too much chemistry. Not this reviewer, though), and it's easy to buy them as siblings/twins. Brian Van Holt (Bo) and Sam Harkess (Vincent) are effective monsters with decent backstories, although the partially CGI face reveal of Vincent in the 3rd act does leave much to be desired.

The screenplay isn’t the strongest as there is A LOT of expository dialogue early on (though I do really dig the themes involving twins/siblings). Everything after the 21 minute mark kicks ass, though, and all the horror hits its mark. The  House of Wax and Town of Wax are possibly the real stars here, as they are creepy, scary, disturbing creations. The film itself does share similarities to 1979's Tourist Trap (Both are set in tourist traps that feature life-like, creepy figures), though it would be unfair to call House of Wax a remake of that movie.

With a cool, fiery finale, House of Wax remains an effective, brutal and scary horror flick. It’s one of the best horror films of the early-mid aughts (Bonus points for choosing My Chemical Romance's Helena for the end credits song. Easily the band's best song.). Between Orphan and this, director Jaume Collet-Sera easily earns his horror degree.

4 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: IN A VIOLENT NATURE

 In A Violent Nature is your typical "cabin in the woods" scenario. A bunch of stupid horned-up college kids pocket an old totem left behind from a tragedy many years ago. Removing the totem re-awakens Johnny; a hulking, mentally-deficient monster to whom the totem belongs. Thrown into a violent, murderous rage, Johnny sets out to retrieve what is his. The thing that sets In A violent Nature apart from other "cabin in the woods"-esque scenarios is that the story is told solely and completely from Johnny POV.

In a Violent Nature is an inventive and clever riff on Friday the 13th. It could also be considered a secret Cabin in the Woods (2012) film. I like that as we follow around Johnny/the killer, we can tell that there is a regular slasher film actively happening around him. There is some very good sound design and cinematography here.

This flick moves very slowly (at least 80% is just watching Johnny walk) and is very quiet, but everything from the yoga scene to the final kill is top tier. I also really didn’t mind the first act either. My only real complaint is the last 20 minutes or so suck and could have easily been cut. They seem to exist so director/writer Chris Nash could sneak in a memorable line (sorry, dude… wasn’t worth it).

In the end, there is more good than bad here. Some gnarly and memorable kills, a cool supernatural killer, and some top-tier technical elements make In A Violent Nature an original horror film any patient horror fan should check out.

3.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: SMILE 2 SURPRISES

 “I love wearing your skin.”

In Smile 2, Pop star Skye Riley (Naomi Scott)  is making a successful comeback after a notorious drug addiction spiral. Said spiral ended when the car her boyfriend (Paul, played by Ray Nicholson) was driving with her in it crashed, killing him and nearly taking her life as well. Right when things start to look better, a stop by a high school friend-turned drug dealer’s place goes bad. He kills himself in front of Skye, passing the Smile monster on to her. Cursed and slowly going insane, Skye has to find a way to finally beat the Smile monster or die.

The first Smile was a popular but underwhelming film. With Smile 2, director/writer Parker Finn exceeds expectations. Here, he is let loose. The filmmaking on display is often aggressive and feels immediate. The cinematography by Charlie Sarroff and editing by Elliot Greenberg is stellar and trippy, effectively bringing us into the world of the Smile Monster. The score by Cristobal Tapia de Veer can veer into delicious Synth-y territory at the best of times and is certainly worth a listen on it’s own.

Kyle Gallner returns for a killer opening sequence, after which it’s the Naomi Scott show. We could discuss some supporting players, but there’s not much point since most get minor screen time. Miles Gutierrez-Riley deserves a call-out as Joshua, a friend of Skye’s. He manages to make the most out of his minimal screen time. Dylan Gelula is great and shows potential as Gemma, ex-best friend to Skye. Unfortunately, she’s literally only in three scenes. Luckily, Scott is so compelling as Skye that these small flaws are forgivable. 

Naomi Scott previously played Jasmine in the Aladdin remake. She was one of the best parts of that film. Is it any surprise she's upped her game since then? Naomi Scott deserves every bit of praise for her work here. Her performance isn't just fearless, but also surprisingly physical. There are multiple dance sequences throughout where she rehearses for shows. Scott slays her choreography in these scenes. She also proves she’s got the pipes to be a Scream Queen. Scott’s Skye Riley is given a good backstory, and she is more likable than the protagonist in the first Smile was. Naomi Scott is Queen as Skye Riley, and she puts on one of the best performances of 2024.

Smile 2 has an incredibly strong first act, but it loses its footing just a tiny bit during acts 2 and 3. It starts out so strong and fast, that it’s hard to maintain that momentum for a full two hours. This isn't enough to knock Smile 2 any points, but it is noticeable. The third act also makes a questionable choice that will likely frustrate or even anger some fans.

The kills and gore on display in Smile 2 easily out-do anything found in the first Smile. The high school friend’s death (Lewis, played by Lukas Gage) is easily an unforgettable highlight. There is a lot of blood and a lot of gore throughout . There are also plenty of creepy smiling people stalking the corners of the film as well. If you came to Smile 2 looking for fun, old-fashioned, bloody, squirm-inducing horror… you’ve come to the right place.

Smile opened the doors wide for Parker Finn to really show us what he can do, and with Smile 2, he doesn’t disappoint. With this second outing, Finn puts the pedal to the metal and delivers a thrilling, thoughtful, freaky, wild, and fun film that continues the first Smile’s exploration of trauma hidden behind fake smiles. Everything here is better: the story, the score, the cinematography, the editing… It all adds up to a sequel that is infinitely better than the first film. You better believe Smile 2 is one of the best horror films of 2024. It will put a smile on your face.

4.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: TERRIFIER 3 DECKS THE HALLS WITH ARTERIEL SPURTS OF RED

 In Terrifier 3, It's five years after the events of Terrifier 2 and Christmas-time is here. Sienna (Lauren LaVera) is living in a home for the mentally unwell, haunted by hallucinations of her slaughtered love ones. Jonathan (Elliott Fullam) is busy in college and doesn't have time for talk about Art. Sienna is invited to shack up with her uncle Greg (Bryce Johnson), aunt Jessica (Margaret Anne Florence), and young cousin Gabbie (Antonella Rose) for Christmas, but Art (David Howard Thornton) re-awakens with a crazed and evil Vicky (Samantha Scaffidi) in tow. While Art and Vicky have themselves a very merry Christmas, Sienna tries to hold it together as she can't be sure the glimpses of the carnage she catches is real or just a symptom of her fragile mental state.

Terrifier 3 has had a lot of buzz surrounding it for a while. From the rumors that a young child would be graphically murdered in the opening scene to the reports of multiple people leaving the theater within the first eleven minutes of the film. Can Terrifier 3 possibly live up to such hype and expectations? You bet your ass it can! On a sidenote: I personally found the bits that followed the opening scene to be far more graphic and disturbing than the opening scene itself was. As for the rumors about a young child being axed...This is a Terrifier film, what do you expect?

Terrifier 3 is directed by Damien Leone, the same man who directed, edited, and wrote the previous two Terrifier films. Many lauded much praise upon Terrifier 2, but I has my issues with the film. Luckily, Terrifier 3 is a large step up from the previous installment. This go-round, we actually have a plot, the screenplay is pretty solid, and every character is well-written and likable.

For example, Jonathan has a room mate, Cole (Mason Mecartea). Cole has a smoking hot girlfriend, Mia (Alexa Blair Robertson). In most films, Mia would just exist to be a slutty, untrustworthy, and unimportant side character. Here, she has some development. She has her own true crime podcast and is obsessed with Art the Clown. She totally loses her cool whenever she runs into Jonathan or Sienna, as she is both a major fan and would also kill to have them on her show. While some might call her a leech, Mia comes across as bubbly and cute. She never seems to have ill intent.

As for Cole, it feel like he should be your typical douchey jock-bro. However, he is never shown to be cruel or arrogant. In fact, he seems like a mostly nice dude. He encourages Jonathan to get out and be social. Cole can even be seen cringing in the background whenever Mia nerds out over Jonathan or Sienna. Greg and Jessica also get some development too. Greg has reservations about hosting Sienna concerning her mental state, but he never ostracizes her and is generally pretty nice and accommodating. All of our cast feel real and human this time.

What about the gore, I hear you ask? You know how the colors of Christmas are red and green? Well, Terrifier 3 says "Screw green, it's all about the red, baby"! Every single kill scene plays like the filmmakers asked themselves how they could one-up the bedroom slaughter from Terrifier 2. Oh yes, Terrifier 3 aggressively pushes the boundaries of good taste. This is easily the meanest, most brutal, bloodiest, and goriest Christmas horror film I've seen in a long time. There's also a decent amount of sacrilegious imagery. For me, every single kill after the opening scene floored me in both good and bad ways. I'm tempted to call Terrifier 3 transgressive, that's how intense this flick gets.

Lauren LaVera remains one of the great final girls of modern horror. She nailed her role in Terrifier 2, and she does so again here. In fact, she's actually better in this one. LaVera has a lot to play with here, and she impresses. Antonella Rose as Gabby is totally winsome and adorable. Gabby and Sienna make for a great team, so look forward to that in future films, I guess.

David Howard Thornton has always been iconic as Art, but this is easily his best turn as the character yet. It just feels right to have Samantha Scaffidi from the first film return for round 3, and the film gives Vicky a lot to do this time. Terrifier 3 likely could have easily put anyone under the prosthetics and we likely would have been none the wiser, so it means a lot they brought the original actress back.

Unfortunately, not all is shiny and bright with Terrifier 3. Yes, this flick does A LOT right...but it's still not without its flaws. Let's talk about Jonathan. I love Jonathan, he was one of the brightest spots of Terrifier 2. Elliott Fullam has a career as a musician/singer as well, so that might explain why Jonathan is treated the way he is here. Jonathan is actively running from the memories of Terrifier 2. He would prefer to live a normal, ordinary life. He's even disowned punk music. In other words: Jonathan has changed. We watch him struggle with himself and his choices. Where his character ends up plays like waving a gigantic middle finger in the face of the audience/Terrifier fans. It also makes everything surrounding him and his college seem meaningless/pointless, including the characters of Mia and Cole. If future Terrifier films commit to what Terrifier 3 set up in regards to Jonathan, I'll give them this: They have gigantic, swinging balls.

Terrifier 3 sets up that Sienna is dealing with severe trauma from the events of Terrifier 2. This trauma heavily affects Sienna throughout Terrifier 3. While it is tempting to roll your eyes at the mention of the word trauma (Trauma is the hot word in horror right now, after all), these parts are handled very well. In fact, there should have been more hallucinations. As is, we get less than a handful. Something is better than nothing, I guess.

Those walking in hoping for answers to questions raised during Terrifier 2 are going to be disappointed. The Clown Cafe plays no role here except for two brief callbacks. There is no explanation as to how Art and Sienna's dad is connected (Terrifier 3 seems to say that Sienna's dad was obsessed with Art and his killings...so that might be the answer. If so...LAME!!!!). There's also no explanation as to how The Terrifier is important in all of this. A tiny bit of lore is added, but it's not much. Terrifier 3 seems to be more focused on the film at hand than on setting up future pieces, which is a good thing (duh). 

Likely my biggest complaint with Terrifier 3 is its ending. This flick feels bombastic and excessive with how many kills occur and with the manner in which each victim is killed. So it's a bit disappointing when it all leads to an ellipsis or a cliffhanger. I can also understand the kind of thinking that led Damien Leone and crew to leave the character of Sienna where they choose to leave her, but it still feels a bit edgelord. Dark and mean just for the sake of being dark and mean. The finale is appropriately brutal and savage, but surprisingly small scale. It’s effective and tense, but can’t quite match the setting of the Terrifier in Terrifier 2. 

Horror films aren't supposed to appeal to mass audiences. They're supposed to shock you, scare you, piss you off. They're supposed to challenge you and make you uncomfortable, maybe even make you sick. Horror films push boundaries. Terrifier 3 understands this. There's a lot here that's going to anger or offend many, and that's a good thing. Terrifier 3 is easily the best of the Terrifier trilogy. It's also one of the greatest/best horror films of 2024. This one leaves a mark.

4.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: IT'S WHAT'S INSIDE

 In It's What's Inside, a pre-wedding party descends into chaos when an estranged friend shows up with a mysterious game.

First off: David Thompson is unbelievably perfect as Forbes. That demented smile he wears during his first scene says it all: “I’m going to fuck all of you motherfuckers up, and I’m going to have a blast doing it.” The blank eyed smile he gives Cyrus while Cyrus is going off on a monologue to him… too perfect. Forbes perfectly embodies the trickster archetype. He’s come here to party at literally EVERYONE’S expense, and I’m here for it.

The cinematography (by Kevin Fletcher), production design (by Terry Watson), art direction (by Karl Lefèvre), and score (by Andrew Hewitt) are all superb. The design of the mansion is eclectic and cool. There are several rooms that feel like they shouldn’t exist in this mansion, and the place itself feels enormous.

The use of color here is impressive and cool. The lighting and colors are beautifully trippy and surreal. The color red is particularly important. The score is very wacky and eclectic as well. It stands out, in a good way, and fits the film it accompanies perfectly.

It's What's Inside is Greg Jardin's first feature film as director and screenwriter. He mostly worked on promos and music videos prior to this, which honestly isn't surprising as much of It's What's Inside has a trippy/psychedelic music video aesthetic to it. Jardin does an unbelievably good job for his first time. It's What's Inside is like a hard sci-fi twist on Bodies Bodies Bodies. It's got plenty of killer twists and turns throughout. It's always fun watching a bunch of horrible people get what's coming to them.

4 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS 33 TRIP REPORT

 On Friday, Sept. 20 I made the trek up to Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights. This would be a different trip, though. The reason I was attending the event this year was because a childhood friend and fellow horror hound would be going to HHN for his first time. I never miss an event if I can help it, but this being my buddy's first time made this year an absolute do-not-miss. So, how did this year fare?

ICONS

While technically, this year doesn't have any OFFICIAL Icons, Horror Nights was nice enough to roll out two brand new unofficial Icons in the form of SINIST3R and SURR3AL. These two insidious ladies are in the business of collecting our screams and haunting our nightmares. SINIST3R is in charge of the houses Monstruos: The Monsters of Latin America, Triplets of Terror, Major Sweets Candy Factory, Goblin's Feast, and Universal Monsters: Eternal Bloodlines. SURR3AL is in charge of the houses A Quiet Place, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, Insidious: The Further, Slaughter Sinema 2, and The Museum: Deadly Exhibit. Like Dr. Richard Oddfellow before them, SINIST3R and SURR3AL are given free reign to roam several scare zones including Duality of Fear, Torture Faire, and Demon Ladies. They are both visually striking and memorable, and are easily highlights of this year's event.

THEME

Theme isn't necessarily vital to HHN, but when the event does decide to utilize theme it can make or break the year. This year, the theme was very scatter-shot. The first ads teased lore involving some kind of gigantic creature slumbering under Universal Studios. Next, marketing teased the iconic Universal entrance arch re-designed/re-imagined as a gigantic Lovecraftian monstrosity lovingly named Otis.  Then the first merch items utilized 90's/00's skater culture/punk aesthetic in much of it's designs. Finally, they unveiled SINIST3R and SURR3AL as the unofficial Icons. It isn't hard to see that the overall theme for HHN 33 was confusion/chaos. Nothing added up or gelled together, and all the individual pieces seemed at war with each other. Coherent, HHN 33 was not. The severe mishandling of theme wasn't enough to completely sink this year's event, but it was bad enough to remain in most's memories and shade how many would perceive this year. It also doesn't help that budget cuts played a role in HHN 33 and Hollywood definitely seemed to be in charge this go-round.

SCAREZONES

DUALITY OF FEAR

As soon as you enter the gates of Halloween Horror Nights, you must choose a path: follow SINIST3R, the manifestation of visceral horror. Or follow SURR3AL,the incarnation of unearthly terror.

This zone is located at the front of the park, and utilizes the famous iconic HHN arch. SINIST3R and SURR3AL can often be found atop the arch, berating and yelling at their victims down below. The theming of the duo's minions isn't great and there are no props or sets used. Projections are beamed down from the arch to the ground below, which is really as much theming as you get here. So yeah, this scarezone is...close to being non-existent. SINIST3R and SURR3AL carry this entire zone on their backs, and even then it's not enough to save it. This is where the Chainsaw Drill Team loiter about. 

4/10

DEMON QUEENS

Get caught in an otherworldly hellscape ripped from the darkest corners of your mind. Four merciless queens loyal to SURR3AL rule, surrounded by hordes of fanatical followers

Another "meh" scarezone. This one is in the Hollywood area, and features more minions of SURR3AL. There is a bit more theming here, and more scares...but I couldn't sparse the story (Something about SURR3AL wearing down our defenses until she's able to enter our minds and torment us). We didn't spend much time here, and it didn't leave much of an impression.

4/10

ENTER THE BLUMHOUSE

Escape a terrifying gauntlet of Blumhouse characters. From sinister sadists from The Purge and Black Phone to M3GAN dancing into your nightmares, you’ve never known horror like this.

This zone was located in the San Fran area, and was also light on theming. it consisted of several small stages where Blumhouse characters from M3GAN, The Purge. The Black Phone, and other films strut and pose. There are some scares here (None from the characters on stage, mind you), but the theming is (once again) just about non-existent. 

4/10

TORTURE FAIRE

Come one, come all, to SINIST3R’s renaissance faire with the devious theme of medieval torture. Brave the gloriously gory homemade torture devices ‘til you’re put out of your misery.

A zone I wasn't looking forward to, but it ended up impressing me. Set in the NYC area, Torture Faire had plenty of theming, lots of props, and multiple stages. A Blood Eagle is even featured (for whatever reason). All the scareactors seemed to get the assignment, and there were plenty of screams to be had here. A bonus was getting to watch SINIST3R roam and survey her domain on occasion. 

8.5/10

SWAMP OF THE UNDEAD

In backwaters Louisiana, you unwittingly wander onto private property, where you’re swamped by zombies borne from the bodies of other trespassers who were killed and dumped in a nearby bog.

Set in the Central Park area, this scarezone continues the tradition of Central Park having the most beautiful scarezones at HHN. Swamp of the Undead perfectly captures the atmosphere and ambiance of the Louisana Bayou. The zombies look pretty cool, but didn't provide much scares. luckily,  the theming and details were gorgeous. Definitely a zone I would have loved to have been able to linger in.

8.5/10  

HOUSES

MONSTRUOS: THE MONSTERS OF LATIN AMERICA

¡Ten cuidado! With La Muerte as your guide, try to survive the night with three terrifying legends: Tlahuelpuchi, La Lechuza and El Silbón.

This was the first house we hit (Meaning it's also my friend's first official HHN house). It felt very much related to 2013's Urban Legends: La Llorona. The theming is gorgeous throughout as most of the house consists of small Latin-American villages and alleyways with monsters just waiting to pop out from dark corners, doorways, and windows. There was one or two animatronics that looked ripped out of Spirit Halloween (WTF?!) and I had no idea who the monsters featured in the house are or what their lore/backstories are, but overall this was a mostly solid little sleeper house.

7/10

A QUIET PLACE

Silence your screams if you want to survive the terrifying, post-apocalyptic world. Like the Abbott family, you must keep quiet as you travel from the farmhouse to the woods, to the foundry. As soon as you make a sound, monstrous creatures who can hear the slightest noise, will hunt you down and silence you for good.

This is not a sound-based house like the marketing would have you believe...that said, it's one of the best of the night. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that. The house is very accurate to the films in the Quiet Place franchise (I don't think Day One was featured, though). The facade is the toy store from the beginning of the first Quiet Place, complete with the beeping space shuttle. Next, you enter a pitch-black tunnel using binaural audio (think the tunnel from 2019's Graveyard Games) that has a Death Angel lying in wait. From there, you are hit with a wide-open room with the title card for the house. Every Death Angel in the house is either a puppet, an animatronic, or an arm slashing wildly though a door. The movements of the Death Angels were spot-on and precise, and there were many featured throughout. The environments and sets were elaborate, realistic, and felt lived-in. This was absolutely a house I had no anticipation or excitement for, and it only continues to prove that Universal is THE BEST at crafting quality haunted houses from IPs many like myself might not be as enthused with (Just look at what they did with AVP, The Thing 2011, Dracula Untold, The Exorcist: Believer, and The Wolfman 2010).

8.5/10

GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE

A bone-chilling new specter has escaped from an ancient artifact, and he’ll stop you cold. The Ghostbusters must team up to save you and the rest of the world from a second Ice Age.

So yeah, the film this house is based on wasn't great. That said, Universal has a way of making treasure out of the mediocre. How did they do here? Not bad. There's some cold rooms and rooms with snow, one of the Garrakas got all up in my business, and there's even a room paying tribute to Vigo and the Ghostbusters 2 slime. Not a bad house, but after we had a ghostbusters house in 2019, it felt a little too soon for another one.

7/10

TRIPLETS OF TERROR

You’re invited to the Barmy triplets’ birthday celebration. But their kind of party involves recreating the murders of their entire family.

This house feels like classic HHN. There weren't many scares, but it told a full story. The story here follows the Barmy triplets, who savagely slaughter their family, then go on to recreate the murder ten years later. We start out visiting the original slaughter, walk through a dark room narrated by a child hosting a podcast about the Barmy triplets, and then we walk through their next killing spree ten years later. The locations/environments are pretty cool, including the Barmy house, back alleys, fronts of houses, and more. Triplets of Terror was not the best house of the night, but it was still very memorable and impressive. 

8/10

INSIDIOUS: THE FURTHER

 Don’t get trapped in The Further as terrifying demons try to ensnare you. The Red-Faced Demon will lure you into his lair behind The Red Door, so he can possess your living body. And KeyFace will unlock your fears with his key-tipped fingers to keep your soul trapped in The Further forever.

This was the most buzzed-about house of the event. It was being highly hyped by many event-goers as the scariest house in HHN history. I....can't agree, unfortunately. The red door façade optical illusion (where the door grows larger the closer you to get to it), the red curtain/Darth Maul Demon rooms (Where the Darth maul Demons were perfectly synced), and the two mannequin rooms (where the room is filled with mannequins, hiding amongst which are several live scare actors. These rooms are classic HHN, and I always LOVE when a house decides to utilize them) were highlights. This house was definitely the scariest of the night, but I feel the first Insidious house from 2014 was better themed and scarier. Maybe I've just grown desensitized to HHN?

8/10

MAJOR SWEETS CANDY FACTORY

 You’ve been invited to chaperone a field trip to a candy factory. But this sweet tour is about to turn sour when free samples transform the kids into candy-coated killers wielding sharpened candies.

I was expecting a lot out of this house, and it didn't exactly deliver. I LOVE the idea of a candy maker who's products turn children into sugar-crazed monsters. There is some creativity on display throughout the house, and it was certainly fun getting to explore Major Sweets' warehouse. It felt like this house should have been a mix between Giggles and Gore Inc. and Leave It To Cleaver. Good news: this house is definitely better than Giggles and Gore. Bad news: It's nowhere near as classic as Cleaver. There is some humor here, and once again, it is a fun house to walk through...but it doesn't rank near the top of the night. 

7/10

UNIVERSAL MONSTERS: ETERNAL BLOODLINES

Join Saskia Van Helsing and the Bride of Frankenstein as they face off against Dracula's Daughter and her monstrous alliance.

The story here is pretty great and engaging. Saskia Van Helsing is the last of her lineage, the rest having all been killed by Dracula and other monsters. Heartbroken and enraged, Saskia sets out for vengeance, targeting Dracula's daughter. The story is easy enough to follow, and the opening scene was pretty cool (It's raining in a graveyard, Saskia is crying in front of a grave, we enter into a crypt/mausoleum). There are some cool moments in here, and I appreciate the dark ending Saskia's story gets. This house has been getting a lot of hate, but I'd place it about on the same level of Braide of Frankenstein...maybe higher. 

7/10

GOBLIN'S FEAST

 Visit a goblin village, where hordes of bloodthirsty goblins, orcs, hobgoblins and witches would love to have you for dinner.

Another attempt at a classic HHN house. I wasn't exactly looking forward to this house, but I had hopes. Sure enough, the detail work inside is very well-done, but the interiors don't feel as large or lived-in as they could. There was nothing in here that truly wowed or scared. It feels adjacent to Dueling Dragons: Choose Thy Fate or Wicked Growth, but never gets close to those insane heights.

7/10

SLAUGHTER SINEMA 2

 If you’re dying for a B-movie horror marathon, head to the Carey Drive-in. Scream through scenes from creature features, grindhouse gore, spaghetti westerns and more.

I have heard so much high praise for the first Slaughter Sinema over the years, so I was more than eager to see what I was missing out on. Turns out...not much. This house wasn't necessarily bad, it just felt like a lesser version of H.R. Bloodengutz from 2011. It's always great to have a house set in Carey, Ohio...but this house just didn't do it for me. I've heard from event-goers that the first Slaughter Sinema was better. I'm not surprised. Not a bad house, just...I've seen better versions of this kind of house.

7/10

THE MUSEUM: DEADLY EXHIBIT

You decide to visit the new folklore museum exhibit, The Rotting Stone, when an evil escapes from within, destroying everything in its path.

Now THIS was more up my alley! A local museum decides to showcase a mysterious artifact dubbed 'The Rotting Stone', which starts to slowly infect and warp the museum once it arrives on site. This house was weird, freaky, gross, and surreal. It's really interesting and cool to see how The Rotting Stone transforms the museum around it: masks and walls come to life, security guards melt and morph, and more! This was the last house we queued up for, and it was a great way to end the night!

8.5/10 

SUMMARY

There were warning signs for HHN 33 from the very start. As far as I'm concerned, HHN 33 is another HHN 22...a weak, disappointing year. I might say it's worse than HHN 22. HHN 22 had all-timer houses like Gothic and Dead End. While there aren't any bad houses this year, there are no all-timers either. I'm always happy to support my friends, and I'm glad he had an absolute blast his first year. I'll never pass up an opportunity to attend HHN, but let's hope next year is a significant improvement. 

7/10

RANKING

SCARE ZONES

1. Swamp of the Undead

2. Torture Faire

3. Demon Queens

4. Duality of Evil

5. Blumhouse

HOUSES

1. The Museum: Deadly Exhibit

2. A Quiet Place

3. Triplets of Terror

4. Insidious: The Further

5. Monstruos: The Monsters of Latin America

6. Goblin's Feast

7. Monsters: Eternal Bloodlines

8. Major Sweets Candy Factory

9. Slaughter Sinema 2

10. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

 

FRIGHT FEST: FOR A GOOD TIME, INJECT THE SUBSTANCE

 With the release of The Substance, that means we now have three Barbarians in one year. What a time to be alive!

In The Substance, aging starlet Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore) is fired from her cushy gig running a television exercise/ work-out show on her 50th birthday. Crushed, Elisabeth happens across a black market drug called The Substance that promises the user a younger, perfect, more beautiful version of their current selves...but at a cost. Naturally, Elisabeth can't resist and soon finds herself spiraling down a dark rabbit hole as her double Sue (Margaret Qualley) and her battle for control over their life. 

A horror-comic satire about age, youth, and beauty. Imagine if you mixed David Cronenberg’s The Fly, Sorry To Bother You, X,  AntiViral, Amazon Prime’s Them, and a Troma production. The Substance is self-indulgent and impulsive at the worst of times, luckily it approaches it’s tale of age vs youth with creativity, humor, and an off-kilter and odd sensibility. 

Dennis Quaid isn’t given much to do, but perfectly embodies his character. Margaret Qualley as Sue and Demi Moore as Elisabeth Sparkle are absolute dynamite. The cinematography by Benjamin Kracun and production design by Stanislas Reydellet consistently pop off the screen. Coralie Fargeat (A Paris native) writes and directs, having previously done the same for Reality+ and Revenge. 

The Substance is graphic, with full-frontal nudity and more blood and gore than you could fill several swimming pools with. That said, while the proceedings can get disturbing, gross, and stomach-churning, the vibes The Substance more often than not tries to go for are comedic. 

Some might feel tempted to say that this movie is an exercise in style over substance, but they’d be wrong. The Substance has A LOT to say about youth, beauty, age, how youth views age and beauty, and how age views youth and beauty. The final 20-40 minutes plays host to a barrage of endings, each proceeding one invariably more bombastic and insane than the last. Look, a decade ago a movie like this would have been direct to video on demand, so what a treat that The Substance is getting a wide release.

The Substance is flawed. It tries too hard at times, and can feel more than a little self-indulgent. The good news is that its premise is incredibly interesting and unique, our two leads steal all their scenes, and there is plenty of commentary for viewers to contemplate after the credits roll. The Substance ranks in as another one of the best of 2024.

4.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: ODDITY

 In Oddity, Dani spends her days and nights renovating an old house that she plans on moving into with her husband Tim, the head of a mental asylum. One night, she decides to sleep over, resulting in her brutal murder at the presumed hands of an escaped inmate. One year later, her blind psychic twin sister pays a visit to the house in an attempt to uncover who is truly responsible for the murder.

A creepy, atmospheric horror-mystery. While the resolution to the mystery is pretty easy to call before the end of the first act, this film is still to be commended for its constant sense of lurking dread. There’s no real lead character. We spend most of the run-time with Tim's new girlfriend. She leaves by the end of the second act and isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things, though. It feels like the surviving twin sister should be the lead, and while she’s definitely in this, she doesn’t get as much screen-time as others.

Despite these complaints, Oddity still manages to send a consistent chill up-and-down your spine for a full hour and thirty-five minutes. It also features one of the best “haunted houses” in modern cinema (Ain’t no way I’m stepping foot in there, let alone spending a night there or live there). The wooden dummy is plenty creepy and foreboding as well.

4 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: SMALLS GOES CUCKOO FOR CUCKOO

 Cuckoo is absolutely one of those films that works best if you walk in knowing as little about it as possible, and let it take you on its weird, bonkers roller-coaster ride. That being said, if you’re still here, let’s review this ish!

In Cuckoo, seventeen year old Gretchen (Hunter Schaffer) finds herself forcibly moved to the German Alps with her dick-head dad Luis (Martin Csokas), his wife Beth (Jessica Henwick), and her step-sister Alma (Mika Lieu). Shortly after arriving, Herr König (Dan Stevens), the mysterious and odd proprietor of a chintzy hotel and the man her father is working for/with, hires Gretchen to work front desk. It isn’t long until Gretchen finds herself stalked by a shady and horrifying woman (Kalin Morrow). With no one else to turn to, she reluctantly teams up with detective Henry (Jan Bluthardt) to uncover answers and stop the woman.

Cuckoo is written and directed by Tilman Singer. This is his sophomore effort (He previously directed and wrote 2018’s Luz). The storytelling is a little muddied/messy, and not everything is fully explained by the end (or maybe it’s the answers aren’t explained well. I can’t decide which it is). All that said, Tilman is an innovative director. The screenplay is pretty solid despite continual foreshadowing involving the meaning of the title. The foreshadowing hits so hard it hurts and quickly grows annoying.

Hunter Schaffer is fantastic as Gretchen, our lead. Gretchen starts out as a bit of a stock cliche: The disaffected, snarky, cynical, angsty teen. As the film moves onwards, she grows a bit of depth and is given some great pathos involving her backstory that only helps to endear us to her. Her weapon of choice (a switchblade not unlike the one Dan Stevens used as David in The Guest) is pretty memorable. You definitely want to see Gretchen come out on top by the end.

Dan Steven’s shines bright as Herr König. He puts on a convincing, stilted German accent. He is perfectly awkward and off-putting in the role, and always keeps us on our toes as to the true nature of his character. This is easily his best role and performance since The Guest. Dan Stevens is back, baby!!!

Kalin Morrow is disturbing, horrifying, and grotesque as “The Hooded Woman”. Her costume, make-up, and prosthetics are very memorable and scary (as are the sounds/cries she makes). She makes for a great, memorable antagonist. Jan Bluthardt is also pretty great and memorable as Henry. The film has some fun with his character as he could be a force for good or bad during the proceedings. Mika Lieu impresses as well as Alma, Gretchen’s mute step-sister. Cuckoo slowly builds up her character, but she proves to be a very sweet and kind girl. Her relationship with Gretchen is one of the strongest parts of the film.

Surprisingly, despite Cuckoo definitely being a very weird horror film, it has a strong, emotional core. It also deals heavily with themes of motherhood. Most of the film moves fairly slowly as it builds its mystery (but never so slowly that it could be considered a slow-burn. It’s not). The third act is where Cuckoo hits its stride as stuff hits the fan in a highly entertaining and tense/suspenseful way (the film practically explodes during the entirety of the third act).

Cuckoo is this year’s Barbarian (another film that dealt heavily with themes of motherhood. Cuckoo could also be compared to 2019’s Vivarium). While it is not without its flaws, Cuckoo is still easily the most original horror film we’ve gotten in quite some time. It’s disturbing. It’s touching. It’s sweet. It can be unpredictable. It’s also 125,000 percent wild, insane, and bat-shit bonkers. With a heavy emphasis on uniqueness and originality, Cuckoo is another of the best horror movies of 2024. It marches to the best of its own weird drum, and we are all the better for it.

4.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: LONGLEGS

 "...And you're going to be there, and you're going to be there, and you're going to be there!"

A modern masterpiece and Oz Perkin’s best work to date. Sometime in the 90s Lee Harken (Maika Monroe), a young and “highly intuitive” FBI agent, is given the task of investigating a decades-long serial killer case. That’s about all I can say plot-wise without going into spoilers.

Maika Monroe stars as Lee, and puts on something quite different from what we’ve seen from her before. Lee is quiet and emotionally distant, though she does grow to show more emotion as the film progresses. She resembles a mix of Clarice Starling from Silence of the Lambs and Will Graham from Red Dragon/Manhunter. It’s always good to see Monroe on the big screen, and it’s a joy to see her back in a horror film (where she belongs).

Blair Underwood shines as Carter, Lee’s friendly but no-nonsense FBI superior. His role is certainly a supporting one, but Carter is a likable and very memorable character. Alicia Witt is also pretty good as Lee’s extremely religious mother.

Nic Cage plays Longlegs, the unhinged and cocoa-for-cuckoo puffs serial killer at the center of the film. Wow. Just wow. We are so lucky to have Nic Cage. He is such a gift. As Longlegs, he puts on one of his all-time best performances and in the process emerges as a horror icon. On display are all of his usual Cage-isms, but here you will laugh out of nervousness and unease. To put it simply: Cage’s Longlegs is unsettling and terrifying. The stuff nightmares are made of. Although I couldn’t stop smiling every time he was on screen, I was still very much afraid of him. Long legs has limited screen time in the film named after and about him, but Cage easily runs away with the entire proceedings. 

Oz Perkins (son of the late, great Anthony Perkins. Yes, THAT Anthony Perkins) directs and writes, and does both masterfully. The script is expertly crafted and the direction is taut. Just about every scene is filled with an almost unbearable building dread and tension.

The cinematography by Andres Arochi fits this film perfectly. There is an expert use of negative space, changing aspect ratios, and wide shots throughout (all of which only add to the tension and unease for the viewer). The editing by Greg Ng and Graham Fortin is pretty great too. The score by Zilgi is exquisite and creepy, perfectly adding to the dread and suspense in each scene. The sound design by Eugenio Battaglia is superb as well, and is guaranteed to keep you on the edge of your seat.

Longlegs plays like an ultra-dark, very twisted take on Thomas Harris material (author of Silence of the Lambs, Red Dragon, and Hannibal) with a hard occult/satanic edge and some supernatural shadings. The film moves like a slow freight train gradually picking up speed. The events play out like unavoidable, unstoppable horrors. The ending doesn’t quite hit the mark, but it comes close enough to the bullseye and makes sense considering the subject matter and influences we’re dealing with. 

Longlegs is easily in contention for best horror film of the year. It’s guaranteed to linger long after the end credits roll, and might even give some nightmares. It’s the real deal. If you love horror, Oz Perkins, Maika Monroe, Nic Cage, or Thomas Harris then you owe it to yourself to check out this sick, ugly (and I say ugly in the best way possible) little flick. Get ready to get fucked up!

5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: I SAW THE TV GLOW

 “This isn’t the midnight realm, Maddie. It’s just the suburbs.”

A24 continues to have an eye for unique talents with unique visions and voices. This is without a doubt the best, most realistic, and most true film about escapism and filmic obsession I’ve ever seen. It’s got its own hypnotic, unique visual language and color palette that lulls you into a trance. It’s ultimately about how we turn to films/tv to get away from our daily lives, how those films and tv shows then shape our view and expectations about our lives and the world, and how when reality fails to live up to those expectations we escape back into film and tv. It honestly hits a little too close to home and is fairly depressing, but it speaks truth.

Both Justice Smith and Brigette Lundy-Paine put on strong, affecting performances as Owen and Maddie, best friends who are slowly dying from their unfulfilling and disappointing lives in the suburbs. Justice Smith in particular really wows with a flat, robotic affect. He continuously breaks the 4th wall to narrate the events of the film directly to the audience (almost like he is entering into a relationship with the audience the same way we form relationships with characters in films and tv). Owen seems to lack emotion, but this is false as it’s all concealed or hidden by him (for whatever reason). You could say he suffers from Dysphoria: a profound state of unease or dissatisfaction. This is easily Smith’s best performance yet. 

Brigette Lundy-Paine shines as well. Maddie is an angsty lesbian who has no friends and a terrible home life. Because of this, she chooses to escape into her favorite show, ‘The Pink Opaque’. When Owen approaches her, she effortlessly gets him addicted to the show as well. It’s an addiction that will stick with them for the rest of their lives, and it might prove to be toxic. Paine is asked to become concerningly unhinged later on, and they sell this turn incredibly well.

I Saw the TV Glow is directed and written by Jane Schoenbrun (who previously directed and wrote ‘We’re All Going To the World’s Fair’). They do an excellent job at each, managing to capture the isolation and disappointment of living in the suburbs. The cinematography by Eric Yue is transcendent. In his hands, the suburbs has a consistent etherealness and other-worldly look to it (it almost feels Carpenter-esque). The little we see of ‘The Pink Opaque’ completely nails the 90s aesthetics of freaky/scary kids shows from that era as well (think ‘Goosebumps’ or ‘Are You Afraid of the Dark?’). 

The multiple songs featured throughout are simply superb (highlights include but aren’t limited to ‘Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl’ by Yeule, ‘Another Season’ by Frances Quinlan, ‘Starburned and Unkissed’ by Caroline Polachek, and ‘Claw Machine’ by Sloppy Jane and Phoebe Bridgers). Needless to say, the album for the film is worth a purchase.

I Saw the TV Glow is a powerful, hard-hitting, surreal film that has a lot to say about film/tv, obsession, escapism, identity, and even nostalgia. It’s guaranteed to speak to any one who has fallen under the hypnotic glow of the television/silver screen, or anyone who has made film/tv their life.

5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: TRAP

 In Trap, Cooper Adams (Josh Hartnett), buys his daughter Riley (Ariel Donoghue) tickets to a concert for her favorite artist, Lady Raven (Saleka Syhamalan). While there, Cooper notices an upped police presence and soon realizes that the whole thing is an elaborate trap set to snare a savage serial killer named The Butcher. Things are looking rough for Cooper, especially since he is actually the very serial killer the authorities are trying to catch. 

A simple, tight, mostly straightforward thriller (Don’t expect any twists). Josh Hartnett easily carries the proceedings and is the focus for about 90-95% of the film. His Connor/The Butcher is the most likable/charismatic sociopath since Dan Steven’s David in The Guest. Hartnett does a superb acting job, and makes Shyamalan’s occasionally silly dialogue sound authentic and natural. It doesn’t hurt that Hartnett has some serious DILF vibes throughout. He also has believable and sweet chemistry with Ariel Donoghue, who plays his daughter Riley (she’s adorable). Simply put: He’s phenomenal.

Shyamalan manages to perfectly capture the atmosphere of a live concert. Sayombhu Mukdeeprom is in charge of cinematography. He recently shot Challengers. He doesn’t do anything special or innovative here (the cinematography doesn’t really call attention to itself), but Trap is always visually appealing. The first 2/3rds of the third act has another character take center stage, and it’s here where Trap really starts to flounder. Luckily, the last 10-15 minutes manages to end the flick on a pretty satisfying note.

Allison Pill has a small role, but makes her screen-time count. Hayley Mills is memorable as Dr. Grant, the FBI profiler leading the manhunt. She’s great, but is fairly under-cooked. It feels like she should have been a bigger character. Jonathan Langdon is very likable in a supporting role as Jamie, a concert worker who befriends Cooper. Kid Cudi also has a cameo as The Thinker, another artist who performs with Lady Raven (Saleka Shyamalan) and has a big ego. He is a real jerk, but Cudi leaves an impression (and is almost unrecognizable).  As for Saleka Shyamalan as Lady Raven, well...she can certainly sing...her acting, though, leaves much to be desired. It doesn't help that Lady Raven is given no backstory or reason to be invested in the manhunt. We are also given no reason to care about her safety, either

Trap isn’t particularly great. It’s definitely a Shyamalan movie. That said, it’s still mostly solid and is a decent amount of fun. See it for Josh Hartnett, who is having a bit of a renaissance right now.

3 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: ALIEN: ROMULUS

 In Alien: Romulus, we follow a rag-tag group of penal colonists who dream of escaping to a better world and a better life. There’s our heroine Rain Carradine (Cailee Spaeney), her android best-friend/brother Andy (David Jonson), the leader of the group/Rain's ex-beau Tyler (Archie Renaux), Tyler's cousin Bjorn (Spike Fearn), Tyler's pregnant sister Kay (Isabela Merced), and Bjorn's girlfriend Navarro (Aileen Wu). 

When a derelict Weyland-Yutani research and development vessel blips onto their radar, the group decide the cryo sleep pods on board might be their ticket to paradise. Unfortunately, once they break in they inadvertently awaken the horrors lurking within the ship. The group’s new end goal: Survive.

Alien: Romulus is directed by Fede Alvarez (He also shares screenwriting credit with Rodo Sayagues, who previously helped write Evil Dead and Don’t Breathe). Romulus is Fede’s first horror film in eight years, and his first director credit in six years. It’s great to have him back in horror, even if Romulus isn’t his best horror film.

Romulus has a solid plot and decent enough character development. The screenplay is pretty good too, though there is a good deal of fan service. Some is subtle, some is hit you in the face with a mallet annoying. Luckily, when this film finds it’s groove, it can be really fun and really f’d up.

Benjamin Wallfisch scores Romulus, and does a phenomenal job. He borrows elements from Jerry Goldsmith’s score for Alien, but his work here never feels like a copy-and-paste job. It is it's own beautiful, freaky thing. Wallfisch continues to impress with his scores. Whenever I see his name pop up before a film, I get excited.

The production design (by Naaman Marshall), set design (Kinga Básci, Paul Chadeisson, Pablo Domínguez, Franciska Hutter, Lizzie Osborne, Helga Petro, Mary Pike, Col Price, Mauricio Ruiz, Kaitlyn Sandeman, Matthew Savage, Nick Stathe, Silvia Stroppa, Joshua Viers), creature design (Dane Hallett and Antony Nguyen), sound design (Lee Gilmore and Chris Terhune), and cinematography (Galo Olivares) are just about perfection. The cinematography in particular is consistently gorgeous and stunning. There is also one creature/Alien that is incredibly disturbing. He/She/It is pure nightmare fuel. Romulus doesn't rely on jump scares to frighten, instead leaning heavily on atmosphere, tone, and pure tension to get the job done. That said, the film does feature two top-tier jump scares.

Cailee Spaeney plays our lead, and consistently looks like a young Sigourney Weaver throughout. She’s given a decent amount of meat to chew on, but this isn’t her best or strongest role. That said, she still impresses. Archie Rénaux as Tyler is very likable and feels like a stabilizing force throughout. He is great in his role.

Spike Fearn as Bjorn plays a jerk very well. You aren’t necessarily supposed to like him, but I sure did. He has a real presence about him. He’s definitely a stand-out, memorable role. Isabela Merced might be the best she has ever been as Kay. She is a pretty strong woman who is easy to root for. She also has hands-down the most disturbing scene in the entire film.

David Jonsson might impress the most as Andy, a very human and very lovable obsolete android (Oh my God, I just got it. Andy…android.). He cares deeply about Rain and his primary objective starts out as doing whatever is best for her. Of course, he is an Android, so his loyalties are ultimately questionable. Jonsson does a great job at keeping us guessing as to if he is truly a good guy or not.

Jonsson is given a lot to work with as he has to play with some Autistic-esque qualities, he has to be icy/stony and cold, he has to play determined, and he also has to have a warmth or empathy to him too. Jonsson pulls it all off effortlessly. He really might be the best actor/role in the film, and his Andy reminds of a specific character from Fede’s Evil Dead (As far as his character progression/arc goes).

During the press tour for Romulus, Fede Alvarez boasted about his use of practical sets and practical effects, and indeed there is a lot of that here. Unfortunately, CGI is utilized (or looks like it’s utilized) a good deal too. There is CGI used for one character that is just PS4 cut-scene level bad, and some might be offended by the character in question (I imagine the words distasteful and disrespectful might be thrown around). That said, it's still good to see them included. Some of the sets seem to have a CGI gloss painted over them as well (not many, but I’d say at least two or three).

Fede is clearly a mega-fan of Alien. The pacing and structure for Romulus is heavily influenced by that film (It also is essentially a haunted house/ship, much like Alien was). That said, Romulus more often than not feels closer in tone to Aliens. There are plenty of tense, suspenseful, and scary scenes, but there is a clear emphasis on action a good deal (especially in the third act. I’d say the first two acts are Alien, the last act is Aliens). It’s also appreciated that Fede finds a way to make the events of Prometheus and Covenant important to what is happening in Romulus (I’d say more-so Prometheus than Covenant. Elements from Alien: Resurrection are lightly included as well).

Alien: Romulus does a lot right, it also slips up at times too, though. It tries to add emotional stakes so audiences can get invested in our leads and their plight, but your mileage may vary. Luckily, it is always cool and fun. The first 5 minutes and final ten minutes are incredible. Honestly, the last ten minutes might be the best part of the movie. 

Alien: Romulus tries/wants to be the perfect organism: a blending of Prometheus, Alien, and Aliens. Unfortunately, perfect this is not. Luckily, there are enough great scenes and moments that it earns a recommendation. It will definitely F you up. As is, it’s  the third best Alien movie.

4 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: ALIEN COVENANT

“Why are you on a colonization mission, Walter? Because they are a dying species grasping for resurrection. They don’t deserve to start again, and I’m not going to let them.”

“When one note is off, it eventually destroys the whole symphony, David.”

In Alien: Covenant, the crew of the Covenant vessel are searching for a good place to settle down, mate, and re-populate the human race. When they stumble upon what they call Planet 4, they find the planet inhabited by various different Proto-Morphs and David (Michael Fassbender), the android from Prometheus. David offers them assistance and refuge, but are his intentions truly altruistic, or are they maybe something a bit more sinister?

Alien: Covenant is a more technically competent film than Prometheus. The screenplay is better too, and the ideas presented are more fully explored. Tennessee (Danny McBride), Daniels (Katherine Waterston), Walter (Michael Fassbender), and David (Michael Fassbender) are the stand-out characters. Unfortunately, there is very little plot or forward momentum as most of the film exists to explore the David character.  The decisions made regarding him, while very interesting, ultimately fuck the entire canon of the Alien franchise. Another detriment is that most of the Aliens appear to be completely CGI creations.

Covenant is not a film Scott wanted to make, but fans revolted, demanding the sequel to Prometheus be closer to what came before. This is the result, and you can feel Scott’s resentment, anger, and disappointment throughout. 

Covenant is not a bad film, but it is at war with itself. It feels like there were at least one or two films that should have come before this. I can’t say that Covenant is entertaining, but it is interesting and has a few ideas worth exploring. Unfortunately, the best thing about it (David’s story) is also its fatal flaw.

3 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: A LOOK BACK AT PROMETHEUS

Wow, my opinion on this film has changed. I still like it well enough, but that’s mostly for its fascinating ideas that are never fully explored or fleshed out. Noomi Rapace is great, as is Guy Pearce, but Michael Fassbender’s David effortlessly steals the entire thing. 

The film is seriously hindered by taking short-cuts throughout (especially in the third act). The way it’s written (screenplay by Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof) is bad, a lot of the dialogue is laughable or cringe, and most of the characters are really dumb and continually make stupid decisions. Much of the film is fairly cool, and the set designs are pretty good. The action and “horror” of the third act kind of feels unearned. 

Prometheus tries something new and fumbles, but it’s still an admirable attempt. Maybe with a better screenplay this could have been something. It honestly would have likely worked better as a 5-8 episode mini-series. Really give it time to flesh out its characters and more fully explore its multiple ideas.

3 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: ALIEN 3

 "This is rumor control. Here are the facts."

In Alien 3, The Sulaco (The vessel that Ripley, Newt, Hicks, and Bishop escaped on at the end of Aliens) crashes into the ocean of a planet when a rogue facehugger, that had managed to stow away on-board the vessel, wrecks havoc. Ripley, tragically, is the sole survivor of the crash. Rescued by Dr. Jonathan Clemens, Ripley discovers the planet is home to a Weyland-Yutani mining/prison facility occupied by religious zealot prisoners/workers.

Unfortunately for Ripley and the prisoners, the horrors she has fought so hard to escape or defeat have followed her. With little means to defend themselves or fight back against the looming threat, the battle is on to survive and hopefully finally end the intergalactic menace once and for all.

The Assembly Cut gets 3.5 stars. It's dark, morose, sad, tragic, and thrilling near the end. This third outing brings the Alien series back to its darker roots. The Alien franchise has always been bleak, cynical, and borderline nihilistic, so the tone found here feels fitting and appropriate for the conclusion of the franchise.

That said, This version is still not a perfect film. The biggest issues for me are the film runs at 1 hour 24 minutes and feels too long, most of the Alien VFX don't impress (same goes for most of the VFX), and there isn't much Xenomorph action. The film also tends to cut away from quite a few of the Xeno attacks (STOP IT!!!). Every time a suit is used, it's scary, effective and impressive. The puppet used for the Ox chest-burster is pretty cool too.

Alien 3: The Assembly Cut moves at a pretty slow pace. This edit re-inserts scenes fleshing out minor characters. Unfortunately, most every minor character still ends up feeling one-note and forgettable despite this version's efforts (except for Danny Webb's Robert Morse, who is really only memorable because he winds up being the sole survivor).

Charles Dance as Dr. Jonathan Clemens (a medical doctor who resides on the planet), Charles S. Dutton as Leonard Dillon (a former "murderer and rapist of women" who has found religion. He delivers some elegant speeches and almost resembles a preacher at times. Charles S. Dutton is honestly the MVP here), and Sigourney Weaver's Ellen Ripley are all fantastic and memorable. Ralph Brown as Francis Aaron (one of the lower-ranking heads of the facility) gets enough screen-time that he is one of the more memorable side-characters.

I understand why many fans don't like Alien 3. There are character decisions regarding Newt, Hicks, Bishop, and Ripley that angered many. The only part that bothered me was the desecrating of Newt's corpse (at Ripley's behest). The funeral for Hicks and Newt is honestly very touching and sad, and had me tearing up hard. It's such a strong scene, that it makes me wish it wasn't juxtaposed with the Ox chest-burster. I get why they chose to do this (Death/birth), but having it framed in this way takes away from much of the emotion of the funeral. The decision to have Ripley die off at the end was a demand made by Sigourney Weaver herself, who had grown upset after 20th Century Fox had cut scenes from Aliens that would have fleshed out Ripley's backstory. Having Ripley die was the only way she would sign on to the film.

Alien 3 was plagued by many BTS troubles. These include numerous scripts being written then tossed out. The film's original director (Vincent Ward, who essentially came up the story for the film) left the production after 20th Century Fox demanded changes be made to the story. David Fincher would end up replacing him. The film's original cinematographer (Jordan Cronenweth) shooting for two weeks before having to stop due to Parkinsons. He would be replaced with Alex Thomson. Despite all these troubles, the film (or at least the Assembly Cut) doesn’t feel all that troubled.

The Assembly Cut was born out of a desire to make a Director's Cut. When David Fincher (who had basically disowned the film) refused to assist, 20th Century Fox looked to Fincher's editing room notes to help create a final product that might resemble something closer to what Fincher had envisioned. This is how The Assembly Cut was born.

When all is said and done, despite fans decrying Alien 3 as the worst of the franchise, Alien 3: The Assembly Cut is far from a bad film. It is flawed in some ways, and it makes many bold and decisive choices… but that doesn’t make it a bad movie. While it doesn’t explore its existential ideas quite as fully as it could, Alien 3: The Assembly Cut still attempts to right some of the ills of the Theatrical Version and is mostly successful. 

Alien 3: The Assembly Cut ends the franchise on a dark, dour note. That’s appropriate considering the Alien films have never been particularly happy or hopeful. It’s been thirty-two years since Alien 3 was released, and twenty-one years since The Assembly Cut was released. I say it’s time Alien 3 have a proper re-examination. It’s aged pretty well. Alien 3 is a flawed but fitting ending for Ellen Ripley, Weyland-Yutani, and those nasty Xenomorphs.

FRIGHT FEST: ALIEN

 What a beautiful, engrossing nightmare! Not just a film about blue-collar space truckers trying to survive “the perfect organism” that can not be killed, but also a film about how large, multi-national corporations see the worker ants they employ as nothing less than “expendable”. The direction by Sir Ridley Scott is impeccable. The pacing throughout is deliberate, slow, and perfect. Alien takes great pains to flesh-out its world and does everything it can to fully immerse viewers in it. 

The production design by Michael Seymour and set decoration by Ian Whittaker are elaborate, gorgeous, and exquisite.  The sets and designs for both the Nostromo and the Derelict are cinematically perfect, beautiful, and unforgettable. The costume design by John Mollo is a quite great . The cinematography by Derek Vanlint aids in the rich, thick atmosphere produced. 

The editing by Terry Rawlings and Peter Weatherley aids the film overall (especially in pacing). The screenplay by Dan O’Bannon is simple, but hides a good deal of depth within. The special effects by Nick Allder and Brian Johnson are terrifying, effective, and unforgettable. The score by Jerry Goldsmith is downright haunting and only adds to the atmosphere and mood of the film. 

The cast is aces all around, from the secretly sinister Ash played by Ian Holm to the rugged bad-ass Parker played by Yaphet Kotto to the struggling Captain who manages to keep his cool Dallas played by Tom Skerritt to the determined take-no-shit survivor Ripley played by Sigourney Weaver. Even Helen Horton as the voice of MU-TH-UR 6000 (Mother for short) is perfect and unforgettable. 

Alien could be described as a slow-paced, atmospheric, science-fiction horror film. The Nostromo could be described as a haunted house/ship in space. Alien continues to thrill, captivate, terrify, engulf, and immerse. 25 years later, Alien remains “the perfect organism”.

5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: BLINK TWICE

In Blink Twice, event waitress Frida (Naomi Ackie) is invited to a private island by billionaire CEO Slater King (Channing Tatum). Slater has been trying to make amends for a boundaries violation he made a few years back. He seems to be a fairly nice guy, so Frida decides to take him up on the offer. While partying with slater's rich and douche-y friends, Naomi slowly realizes she has missing time and soon realizes that all on the island might not be quite the way it seems.

It's ironic that a film about forgetting ends up being forgettable. The cast is stacked with talented actors, but every single person is given nothing to do and essentially zero character. It’s nice to see Channing Tatum play against type for a change, and he’s likely the best one here, but it’s not enough to save the film. Blink Twice has some fun with colors. There’s a good deal of yellow and a lot of reds (Red= Bad, Yellow= Good… basically).

While this wants to be a horror comedy, it’s rarely funny and never scary. It is incredibly dark and mean, though. It doesn’t have much to say that hasn’t been said in better films or in more interesting/novel/unique ways. The one kind-of new thing it brings to the table is the theme of forgetting vs forgiving. I also like that it deals with the question of if change is ever really possible. 

I commend Zöe Kravitz for trying her hand at directing and writing (with E.T. Feigenbaum credited as co-writer), but she just does not have the sauce. Nice try, though. Unfortunately, Blink Twice is dull and uninteresting. There are very few surprises here, and the opening trigger warning basically gives away the whole game before the film even starts. Forgetting is a gift, just be grateful this film isn’t one you’ll be likely to remember in T-minus a year (or less). Save your money and re-watch Promising Young Woman instead.

1.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: STRANGE DARLING

“I’m just trying to have a good time.”

'Strange Darling' is one of those films that works best if you walk in knowing nothing about it. Don’t read any reviews (Heck, don't even read this review! I try to avoid spoilers, but there's always the chance something in here could inevitably tip you off to any number of this flick's numerous surprises or twists). Don’t watch any trailers. Go in blind and let the film work it’s magic.

In 'Strange Darling', a one-night stand between The Lady (Willa Fitzgerald) and The Demon (Kyle Gallant) spirals wildly out of control when one is revealed to be a serial killer. A psycho-sexual battle for dominance and power ensues. Yes, this is VERY loosely based on a real serial killer. 

Kyle Gallner and Willa Fitzgerald go toe-to-toe in the acting department. Both are superb. Kyle Gallner is an experienced horror alum, having appeared in 'Red Eye', 'A Haunting in Connecticut', 'Jennifer's Body', 'A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)', 'Red State', 'The Cleanse', 'The Cleansing Hour', 'Alien Code', 'Mother, May I', '5cream', and 'The Passenger'. Gallner has quickly become a horror darling with a rapidly growing fan base. You know whenever he's involved in a project, no matter how small his role, he's going to bring the goods. 

Willa Fitzgerald is no stranger to acting, having appeared in multiple tv shows and films. She played the lead, Emma Duval, in the first two seasons of the 'Scream: The TV Series'. She also slayed as the insanely hot and insanely bad young Madeline Usher in Mike Flanagan's 'The Fall of the House of Usher' on Netflix. While watching that show, I took to calling her Queen Bitch for a reason. It was a title she easily earned.

Happily, Fitzgerald doesn't disappoint here and once again massively impresses. As for supporting players: Barbara Hershey and Ed Begley Jr. are sweet as an elderly couple, but it's Stephen Michael Quesada who is most memorable as an experienced cop. 

J.T. Mollner directs and writes. His direction is superb and the screenplay is strong. Giovanni Ribisi (best known for his acting roles in 'Ted' and 'Avatar') is in charge of cinematography. This is his first theatrical effort, and he nails it. There are plenty of lingering close-ups that allow audiences to get the full range of an actor’s emotions, as well as some great creative shots too. 

'Strange Darling' is a puzzle-box of a movie. There are some great twists and many, many, many turns. What might be most surprising is just how much fun this film is. It’s also got a great gallows sense of humor to it at times as well. Those expecting horror will likely be disappointed, as this is more of a psycho-sexual thriller than anything else. There is a good deal of blood, though. When this film wants you to see blood, it shows you blood.

'Strange Darling' is yet another welcome surprise in 2024. It’s actually some of the most fun you’ll have in a theater this year. It’s got two phenomenal lead performances, memorable cinematography, and more-than competent direction…in other words, there’s a lot to recommend and commend here. If you want to see one of the best films of 2024, then I say it’s time to get a little strange, darling.

5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS BEST HOUSES AND SCAREZONES

What better way to start off my Fright Fest this year than by sharing my favorite Halloween Horror Nights houses, scarezones, and shows. Below you can find a listing of all the Halloween Horror Nights events I have attended. Included are my favorite houses and scare zones, the best of which will be bolded (all-timers have *** next to them). I have attended twelve Halloween Horror Nights in total, so this should be a lengthy list. if you're ready, follow me into the fog....try not to get lost.

HHN 18

HOUSES

The Hallow

Creatures

***Body Collectors: Collections of the Past

***Dead Exposure (my first house ever)

TOTAL SEEN: 5/8

TOTAL FAVORITES: 4/5

TOTAL BEST: 3/5

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 2/5

SCARE ZONES

***Streets of Blood

***The Skool House

Asylum in Wonderland

***Fractured Tales

***American Gothic

TOTAL SEEN: 6/6

TOTAL FAVORITES: 5/6

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 4/6

SHOWS

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

HHN 19

HOUSES

***Silver Screams

***Leave It To Cleaver

Dracula: Legacy in Blood

Frankenstein: Creation of the Damned

TOTAL SEEN: 6/8

TOTAL FAVORITES: 4/6

TOTAL BEST: 3/6

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 2/6

SCARE ZONES

***Horrorwood Die-In

Cirque Du Freak

Apocalypse: City of Cannibals

War of the Living Dead

Lights Camera Hacktion: Chainsaw Drill Team Massacre

TOTAL SEEN: 6/8

TOTAL FAVORITES: 4/6

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/6

HHN 20

HOUSES

Catacombs: Black Death Rising

***Havoc: Dogs of War

Horror Nights: The Hallowed Past

Hades: The Gates of Ruin

***ZombieGeddon

TOTAL SEEN: 8/8

TOTAL FAVORITES: 5/8

TOTAL BEST: 3/8

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 2/8

SCARE ZONES

***Saws N Steam

HHN: 20 Years of Fear

Zombie Gras

The Coven

TOTAL SEEN: 6/6

TOTAL FAVORITES: 4/6

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/6

SHOWS

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

HHN 21

Houses

***The Forsaken

***Winter's Night: The Haunting of Hawthorne Cemetery

***Nightingales: Blood Prey

Nevermore: The Madness of Poe

***Saws N Steam: Into the Machine

***The In-Between

TOTAL SEEN: 8/8

TOTAL FAVORITES: 6/8

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 5/8

SCARE ZONES

Acid Assault

Canyon of Dark Souls

***Nightmaze

***Grown Evil

***7

TOTAL SEEN: 6/6

TOTAL FAVORITES: 5/6

TOTAL BEST: 5/6

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 3/6

SHOWS

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

HHN 22

HOUSES

Gothic

***Dead End

Alice Cooper's Welcome To My Nightmare

The Walking Dead: Dead Inside

TOTAL SEEN: 7/7

TOTAL FAVORITES: 4/7

TOTAL BEST: 2/7

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/7

SHOWS

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

HHN 23

HOUSES

Urban Legends: La Llorona

***An American Werewolf in London

The Walking Dead: No Safe Haven

The Cabin in the Woods

Havoc: Derailed

TOTAL SEEN: 5/8

TOTAL FAVORITES: 5/8

TOTAL BEST: 2 /5

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/5

SHOWS

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

HHN 24

HOUSES

***Halloween

***Roanoke Cannibal Colony

AvP

Dollhouse of the Damned

TOTAL SEEN: 8/8

TOTAL FAVORITES: 4/8

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 2/8

SCARE ZONES

***The Purge: Anarchy

TOTAL SEEN: 4/4

TOTAL FAVORITES: 1/4

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/4

SHOWS

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

HHN 25

HOUSES

***Body Collectors: Recollections

***Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem

***Freddy vs. Jason

*** Insidious

TOTAL SEEN: 9/9

TOTAL FAVORITES: 4/8

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 4/8 

SCARE ZONES

***HHN: Icons

All-Nite Die-In: Double Feature

Evil's Roots

TOTAL SEEN: 5/5

TOTAL FAVORITES: 3/5

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/5

SHOWS

***The Carnage Returns

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

HHN 27

HOUSES

American Horror Story: Vol. 2

***Scarecrow: The Reaping

Hive

Dead Waters

The Fallen

The Shining

TOTAL SEEN: 9/9

TOTAL FAVORITES: 6/9

TOTAL BEST: 4/9

TOTA ALL-TIMERS: 1/9

SCARE ZONES

***Trick r' Treat

Invasion!

The Purge

TOTAL SEEN: 5/5

TOTAL FAVORITES: 3/5

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/5

SHOWS

Bill and Ted's Farewell Tour

HHN 29

HOUSES

***Graveyard Games

***Universal Monsters

Stranger Things

House of 1000 Corpses

Nightingales: Blood Pitt

TOTAL SEEN: 10/10

TOTAL FAVORITES: 5/10

TOTAL BEST: 3/10

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 2/10

SCARE ZONES

***Rob Zombie's Hillbilly Deluxe

Vikings Undead

TOTAL SEEN: 5/5

TOTAL FAVORITES: 2/5

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/5

SHOWS

Halloween Marathon of Mayhem

HHN 30

HOUSES

***Case Files: Legendary Truth

***Wicked Growth: Realm of the Pumpkin

Welcome to SCarey: Horror in the Heartland

***The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

***HHN Icons: Captured

***Puppet Theater: Captive Audience

Revenge of the Tooth Fairy

TOTAL SEEN: 10/10

TOTAL FAVORITES: 7/10

TOTAL BEST: 7/10

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 5/10

SCARE ZONES 

***Gorewood Forest

TOTAL SEEN: 4/5

TOTAL FAVORITES: 1/5

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/5

HHN 32

HOUSES

***Dueling Dragons: Choose Thy Fate

***The Darkest Deal

***Blood Moon: Dark Offerings

***Dr. Oddfellow's Twisted Origins

TOTAL SEEN: 10/10

TOTAL FAVORITES: 4/10

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 4/10

SCARE ZONES

***Jungle of Doom: Expedition Horror

Shipyard 32: Horrors Unhinged

Dr. Oddfellow's Collection of Horror

TOTAL SEEN: 5/5

TOTAL FAVORITES: 3/5

TOTAL BEST: 2/5

TOTAL ALL-TIMERS: 1/5

BEST YEARS

HHN 18

HHN 19

***HHN 21 (Strongest house line-up)

HHN 25

***HHN 30

HHN 32

SCARIEST HOUSE

***DEAD EXPOSURE (HHN 18)

MOST INTENSE HOUSE

***Havoc: Dogs of War (HHN 21)

 PERSONAL FAVORITE HOUSES

!!! = TOP

!!! Silver Screams (HHN 19)

!!! Leave It To Cleaver (HHN 19)

!!! Havoc: Dogs of War (HHN 20)

!!! ZombieGeddon (HHN 20)

!!! Winter's Night: the Haunting of Hawthorne Cemetery (HHN 21)

Nevermore: The Madness of Poe (HHN 21)

!!! The In-Between (HHN 21)

Saws N Steam: Into the Machine (HHN 21)

!!! The Forsaken (HHN 21)

!!! Dead End (HHN 22)

House of 1000 Corpses (HHN 29)

!!! Graveyard Games (HHN 29)

!!! Universal Monsters (HHN 29)

!!! HHN Icons : Captured (HHN 30)

!!! Wicked Growth: Realm of the Pumpkin (HHN 30)

Case Files: Legendary Truth (HHN 30)

 

!!! Puppet Theater: Captive Audience (HHN 30)

!!! SCarey: Horror in the Heartland (HHN 30)

!!! The Darkest Deal (HHN 32)

!!! Dr. Oddfellow's Twisted Origins (HHN 32)

!!! Blood Moon: Dark Offerings (HHN 32)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (HHN 32)

!!! Dueling Dragons: Choose Thy Fate (HHN 32)

PERSONAL FAVORITE SCARE ZONES

The Skoolhouse (HHN18)

Streets of Blood (HHN 18)

American Gothic (HHN 18)

Fractured Tales (HHN 18)

Horrorwood Die-In (HHN 19)

Saws N Steam (HHN 20)

7 (HHN 21)

Grown Evil (HHN 21)

The Purge: Anarchy (HHN 24)

HHN: Icons (HHN 25)

Trick r' Treat (HHN 27)

Rob Zombie's Hillbilly Deluxe (HHN 29)

Gorewood Forest (HHN 30)

Jungle of Doom: Expedition Horror (HHN 32)