BREAKING DAWN TRAILER IS RELEASED, TEEN GIRLS EVERYWHERE SCREAM WITH JOY

Yes, unfortunately it is getting closer to that time of year again. That foul time of the year where an ever ruthless Hollywood takes advantage of the teen female demographic by releasing yet another god-damned Twilight film. STOP IT ALREADY!!!!

For those not in the know, the first teaser trailer for Breaking Dawn has just been released at the MTV Movie Awards. Being a critic, I (unfortunately) had to watch the trailer for myself. Here are my thoughts.

The trailer hits all the right notes for Twilight fans. it makes them feel special by saying they are invited to Edward and Bella's wedding, pulls on their heart strings by reminding them that this is the first part of the end, and it tickles their under regions with sexed up clips of Edward, Bella, and a shirtless Jacob wolfing out.

That said, the trailer did nothing for me. Let's face it, I'm not a Twilight fan, most guys aren't. The only way any self-respecting guy would go to a Twilight film would be if their girl dragged them to it.

While I look forward to the new Twilight film with the right amount of dread, others rejoice (why, I'll never be able to figure out). It's just another product of a system that is eager to exploit a dumb demographic that is so easy to manipulate. So rest easy Hollywood, knowing that soon your piggy banks will be overflowing with dumb teenage girl money.

(For those of you wondering why there is no link to the trailer of Breaking Dawn it's because I didn't post one. If you want to watch the trailer you'll have to look that shit up for yourself.)