IT'S TIME TO DIM THE LIGHTS: SAYING GOOD-BYE TO MUPPET*VISION 3-D

Muppet*Vision 3-D was the very last project Jim Henson worked on before his death at the too-young age of fifty-four. In it, Kermit and crew have set up shop at Disney's Hollywood Studios, where they have formed Muppet Labs and Muppet Studios. The Muppets invite us to take a tour of their studios and preview Dr. Bunson Honeydew and Beaker's latest invention- Waldo: The Spirit of 3-D. As this is the Muppets, it doesn't take long for things to spiral wildly out-of-control as our tour and demonstration threaten to destroy the very theater we're seated in.

The queue rooms are decent enough, replicating the look of a studio building or office. The pre-show is a certified classic, so much so that crowds will line up early just so they can catch the whole thing. The theater we sit in is a faithful recreation of the classic Muppet theater from the Muppet Show (Easily one of the coolest things about this attraction).

Muppet*Vision 3-D has more on it's mind that good old-fashioned chaotic mayhem for the whole family. No, no, Muppet*Vision 3-D is actually a very clever commentary on the 3-D format. It uses Waldo: The Spirit of 3-D as a way to critique 3-D. Waldo is annoying and distracting. He is not needed, useful, nor does he add anything important to the proceedings. In fact, his presence actually detracts from the show, and he actively works to disrupt our tour/demonstration throughout. Can you see how these critiques can be applied to 3-D as well? Waldo was voiced by Steve Whitmire (who also voices Rizzo the Rat and Bean Bunny in the show). This is noteworthy as Steve would go on to voice Kermit from 1992-2017, before the Walt Disney Company ultimately dismissed him from their employ.

Muppet*Vision 3-D was directed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz (who also voices Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, and Sam the Eagle in the attraction). Bill Prady (‘Honey, I Shrunk the Audience’, ‘Here Come the Munsters’, 55 episodes of ‘Dharma and Greg’, 17 episodes of ‘The Muppets’ reboot, 280 episodes of ‘The Big Bang Theory’) wrote the screenplay for the attraction. Peter Anderson (T2 3D: Battle Across Time, Magic Journeys, Captain EO, Star Trek: The Experience - Borg invasion 4D, Newseum 4D Experience) was in charge of cinematography. The cinematography looks mostly grounded and life-like and the writing is classic Muppets all the way.

Disney has been slowly erasing their classic 3-D attractions. Honey, I Shrunk the Audience, The Captain EO re-release, and It's Tough To Be A Bug are all gone (well, Bug is on the way out shortly. Might have to review that one too. Such vivid memories). The Muppets have been given an eviction notice to vacate the premises as Muppet*Vision 3-D and the entire Muppets Courtyard (including fan-favorite pizza restaurant Pizzerizzo) is set to be demolished for a new Monsters Inc. themed land with a hanging door coaster, a new show, and possibly a smaller ride. The Muppets have been given the ok to take over for Aerosmith at Rock N Roller Coaster.

I'm obviously looking forward to the new Monsters Inc. land, but the big issue is that the land could have easily replaced Animation Courtyard instead. It would appear that corporate chose Muppets Courtyard as the location mostly because there is office space located behind Animation Courtyard that they plan on using for staff and higher-ups. Just goes to show where their real priorities lie (Want more proof? They are turning the Galactic Star Cruiser Hotel into office space for Imagineers when the hotel sits on a LARGE piece of land that really should be used for future expansion of Disney's Hollywood Studios).

So, I guess that's it for Muppet*Vision 3-D. Disney has promised they're looking into ways to preserve the movie and other aspects of the attraction, though I'm betting they just drop the queue video and main show on Disney + and call it a day. Muppet*Vision 3-D was the last remnant of the original, classic Muppets before Disney took over and diluted the brand and its signature tone and style. It's a shame to lose such a culturally important attraction, but Disney never really cared much about the Muppets to begin with. Just look at how they've treated Henson's lifework after his untimely passing.

5 STARS

A LOOK BACK: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE AUDIENCE

 Honey, I Shrunk the Audience (or HISTA for short) opened in EPCOT at Walt Disney World on November 21, 1994. It was one of the greatest 3-D attractions ever built. 

Randal Kleiser (‘Honey, I Blew Up The Kid’, ‘Grease’, ‘The Boy in the Plastic Bubble’, ‘The Blue Lagoon’, ‘Flight of the Navigator’, ‘Big Top Pee-Wee’) and Bruce Broughton (‘Honey, I Blew Up The Kid’, the ‘Spaceship Earth’ attraction, ‘Harry and the Hendersons’, ‘The Monster Squad’, ’Moonwalker’, ‘The Rescuers Down Under’, the ‘The Timekeeper’ attraction, ‘Stay Tuned’, ‘Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey’, ‘So I Married an Axe Murderer’, ‘Tombstone’, ‘Baby’s Day Out’, the ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ remake, ‘Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco’, the ‘Ellen’s Energy Adventure’ attraction, ‘A Simple Wish’, ‘Lost in Space’, the ‘It’s Tough To Be A Bug’ attraction, the ‘Soarin’ Around the World’ attraction, and ‘The Making of Me’ attraction ) return to direct and score the attraction, respectively.  

Bill Prada  (‘Muppet*Vision 3-D’, ‘Here Come the Munsters’, 55 episodes of ‘Dharma and Greg’, 17 episodes of ‘The Muppets’ reboot, 280 episodes of ‘The Big Bang Theory’) and Steve Spiegel (26 episodes of ‘The Arsenio Hall Show’, the pre-shows and ride portion for the ‘Dinosaur’ attraction, the pre-show and ride portion for the ‘Star Tours: The Adventures Continue’ attraction, the pre-show and ride portion for the ‘Web Slingers: A Spider-Man Adventure’ attraction, and the pre-shows and ride portion for the ‘Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind’ attraction) penned the screenplay. 

Dean Cundey ( ‘Where the Red Fern Grows’, ‘Halloween’, ‘Rock n Roll High School’, ‘The Fog’, ‘Escape From New York’, ‘Halloween II’, ‘Halloween III: Season of the Witch’, ‘The Thing’, ‘Psycho II’, ‘Romancing the Stone’, ‘Back to the Future’, ‘Big Trouble in Little China’, ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’, ‘Back to the Future Part II’, ‘Back to the Future Part III’, ‘Road House’, ‘Nothing But Trouble’, ‘Death Becomes Her’, ‘Jurassic Park’, ‘Hook’, ‘The Flintstones’, ‘Casper’, ‘Apollo 13’, ‘Flubber’, ‘The Parent Trap’ remake, ‘What Women Want’, ‘Looney Tunes: Back in Action’, ‘Garfield: The Movie’, ‘Camp Rock’, and ‘Jack and Jill’) was in charge of cinematography. No wonder the film looked so good and realistic! 

The plot is as follows: We are guests attending an open house for The Imagination Institute, where Wayne Szalinski will be accepting the Inventor of the Year award for his new Shrinking and Enlarging Machine. After several set-backs, the planned demonstration of the machine goes horribly awry, shrinking the entire audience as well as Wayne’s son Nick. The entire film was presented as if it were a live, in-theater awards show and the antics and chaos that occurred within the theater lasted for approximately fifteen minutes.

In-theater effects included strobes, wind, air, water, and smoke. There was also an air effect located on the floor or under the seats that would replicate escaping mice. The auditorium was mounted on a gimble (essentially a moving base) that could be raised or lowered four inches. The theater would rock and shake at certain moments as well, replicating foot-steps, and the sensation of being shrunk and blown up.

Most of the original actors reprise their roles including Rick Moranis as Wayne Szalinski, Robert Oliveri as Nick Szalinski, Marcia Strassman as Diane Szalinski, and Daniel and Joshua Shalikar as Adam. For whatever reason, Amy isn’t present. They are all as memorable as they were in the films. Eric Idle as Imagination Institute Chairman Nigel Channing is a welcome, funny addition to the cast. He fits in well.

The setting of The Imagination Institute is cool, inspired, and memorable. The Imagination Institute is an organization dedicated to technological innovation and the research and study of imagination. It seems to be a little on the wacky side. Scientists employed there besides Wayne Szalinski include Dream Finder, Prof. Phillip Brainard from Flubber, and Eugene Higgins (from The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes), among others. These additional scientists do not make appearances in the show proper, but are referenced in the nearby attraction ‘Journey Into Imagination With Figment’, which is also set within The Imagination Institute. 

The whole experience definitely made audiences feel like they had stepped foot into the world of the films. I remember I would often attend multiple times in one day, and it always left me smiling. HISTA (Honey, I Shrunk The Audience) was definitely a million times better than Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves and Captain EO (the 3-D show that predated HISTA and ended up replacing it as well). HISTA permanently closed its doors on May 9, 2010.  I know I still miss HISTA a good deal, and the memories made during the attraction will continue to stick with me for the rest of my life.

CRITIC'S CHOICE AWARDS SPECULATION

With the Critic's Choice Awards just days away, I figured now is as good a time as any to take a look at the nominees and share my thoughts.

 BEST PICTURE

9. A Complete Unknown

4. Anora

2. The Brutalist

3. Conclave

1. Dune Part Two

10. Emelia Perez

8. Nickel Boys

7. Sing Sing

6. The Substance

5. Wicked

BEST ACTOR

2. Adrian Brody - The Brutalist

3. Timothee Chalamet - A Complete Unknown

1. Daniel Craig - Queer

4. Colman Domingo - Sing Sing

6. Ralph Fiennes - Conclave

5. Hugh Grant - Heretic

BEST ACTRESS

4. Cynthia Erivo - Wicked

6. Karla Sofia Gascon - Emelia Perez

5. Marianne Jean-Baptiste - Hard Truths (Need to see)

3. Angelina Jolie - Maria

1. Mikey Madison - Anora 

2. Demi Moore - The Substance

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

2. Yura Borisov - Anora

Kieran Culkin - A Real Pain (Need to see)

3. Clarence Maclin - Sing Sing

4. Edward Norton - A Complete Unknown

1. Guy Pearce - The Brutalist

Denzel Washington - Gladiator 2 (Need to see)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

 Danielle Deadwyler - The Piano Lesson (Need to see)

1. Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor - Nickel Boys

3. Ariana Grande - Wicked

2. Margaret Qualley - The Substance

4. Isabella Rossellini - Conclave

5. Zoe Saldana - Emelia Perez

BEST YOUNG ACTOR/ACTRESS

1. Alyla Brown - Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Elliott Heffernan - Blitz (Need to see)

Maisy Stella - My Old Ass (Need to see)

Izaac Wang - Didi (Need to see)

2. Alisha Weir - Abigail

3. Zoe Ziegler - Janet Planet

BEST ACTING ENSEMBLE

3. Anora

5.Conclave

6. Emelia Perez

1. Saturday Night

2. Sing Sing

4. Wicked

BEST DIRECTOR

8. Jacques Audiard - Emelia Perez

5. Sean Baker - Anora

4. Edward Berger - Conclave

1. Brady Corbet - The Brutalist

6. Jon M. Chu - Wicked

3. Coralie Fargeat - The Substance

7. RaMell Ross - Nickel Boys

2. Denis Villeneuve - Dune: Part Two

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

4. Sean Baker - Anora

 Moritz Binder, Tim Fehlbaum, Alex David - September 5 (Need to see)

3. Brady Corbet, Mona Fastvold - The Brutalist

Jesse Eisenberg - A Real Pain (Need To See)

2. Coralie Fargeat - The Substance

1. Justin Kuritzkes - Challengers

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

6. Jacques Audiard - Emelia Perez

4. Winnie Holzman, Dana Fox - Wicked

3. Greg Kwedar, Clint Bentley - Sing Sing

5. RaMell Ross & Joslyn Barnes - Nickel Boys

2. Peter Straughan - Conclave

1. Denis Villeneueve, Jon Spaihts - Dune: Part Two

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

1. Jarin Blaschke - Nosferatu

5. Alice Brooks - Wicked

2. Lol Crawley - The Brutalist

6. Stephane Fontaine - Conclave

3. Greig Fraser - Dune: Part Two

4. Jomo Fray - Nickel Boys

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

2. Judy Becker, Patricia Cuccia - The Brutalist

4. Nathan Crowley, Lee Sandales - Wicked

5. Suzie Davies, Cynthia Sleiter - Conclave

1. Craig Lathrop, Beatrice Brentnerova - Nosferatu

Arthur Max, Jille Azis, Elli Griff - Gladiator 2 (Need to see)

3. Patrice Vermette, Shane Vieau - Dune: Part Two

BEST EDITING

4. Sean Baker - Anora

1. Marco Costa - Challengers

5. Nick Emerson - Conclave

2. David Jansco - The Brutalist

3. Joe Walker - Dune: Part Two

Hansjorg Weifbrich - September 5 (Need to see)

BEST COSTUME DESIGN

4. Lisy Christl – Conclave  

1. Linda Muir – Nosferatu  

5. Massimo Cantini Parrini – Maria  

2. Paul Tazewell – Wicked  

3. Jacqueline West – Dune: Part Two  

Janty Yates, Dave Crossman – Gladiator II  (Need to see)

BEST HAIR AND MAKEUP

4. Christine Blundell, Lesa Warrener, Neal Scanlan – Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

5. Hair and Makeup Team – Dune: Part Two

2. Stéphanie Guillon, Frédérique Arguello, Pierre-Olivier Persin – The Substance  

3. Frances Hannon, Sarah Nuth, Laura Blount – Wicked  

1. Traci Loader, Suzanne Stokes-Munton, David White – Nosferatu  

Mike Marino, Sarah Graalman, Aaron Saucier – A Different Man  (Need to see)

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Mark Bakowski, Pietro Ponti, Nikki Penny, Neil Corbould – Gladiator II (Need to see) 

5. Pablo Helman, Jonathan Fawkner, Paul Corbould, David Shirk – Wicked  

3. Paul Lambert, Stephen James, Rhys Salcombe, Gerd Nefzer – Dune: Part Two 

4. Luke Millar, David Clayton, Keith Herft, Peter Stubbs – Better Man  

1. Bryan Jones, Chervin Shafaghi, Pierre Olivier-Persin, Jean Miel – The Substance  

2. Erik Winquist, Stephen Unterfranz, Paul Story, Rodney Burke – Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

BEST ANIMATED FILM

2. Flow

1. Inside Out 2

Memoir of a Snail (Need to See)

3. Wallace and Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl

The Wild Robot (Need to see)

BEST COMEDY

A Real Pain (Need to see)

3. Deadpool and Wolverine 

1. Hit Man

My Old Ass (Need to see)

2. Saturday Night

Thelma (Need to see)

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

All We Imagine as Light (Need to see)

2. Emilia Pérez 

1. Flow 

I’m Still Here (Need to see)

Kneecap (Need to see)

The Seed of the Sacred Fig (Need to see)

BEST SONG

“Beautiful That Way” – The Last Showgirl – Andrew Wyatt, Miley Cyrus and Lykke Li (Haven't heard)

1. “Compress / Repress” – Challengers – Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Luca Guadagnino

3. “El Mal” – Emilia Pérez – Zoe Saldaña, Karla Sofía Gascón, Camille

“Harper and Will Go West” – Will & Harper – Kristen Wiig (Haven't heard)

“Kiss the Sky” – The Wild Robot – Maren Morris (Haven't heard)

2. “Mi Camino” – Emilia Pérez – Selena Gomez

BEST SCORE

4. Volker Bertelmann – Conclave

2. Daniel Blumberg – The Brutalist 

5. Kris Bowers – The Wild Robot 

6. Clément Ducol & Camille – Emilia Pérez 

1. Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross – Challengers

3. Hans Zimmer – Dune: Part Two 

BACK TO THE STUDIOS: A TRIP TO DISNEY'S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS

Over the weekend, I got to travel to Disney's Hollywood Studios (Which I call MGM or The Studios). The last time I visited the park was in 2015, close to a decade ago. During the interval we lost The Great Movie Ride to Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway. The entirety of the Streets of America (including Lights! Motors! Action!: Extreme Stunt Show, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids Movie Set Adventure, and The Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights) was demolished for Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge and Toy Story Land. Just recently, it was announced we would be losing Muppet*Vision 3-D and Muppet's Courtyard to a new Monster's Inc. land, Monster's Inc. hanging door coaster, and a Monster's Inc. themed show. Forcibly evicted out of their theater, The Muppets will settle down on Sunset Blvd where they will replace Aerosmith on Rock 'n' Roller Coaster. Yes, a lot has changed at the park. It still feels the same in many ways, but it also feels different too. 

Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge / Batuu - Walking around the park, it's hard to deny the absence of the Streets of America is felt. It feels like something is missing. Putting that aside, the new land is phenomenal! It doesn't scream Star Wars, but if you allow yourself enough time in the area it becomes easy to believe you're on another planet. There is some nice foliage and greenery near the front of the land, but overall Galaxy's Edge/Batuu resembles more of a bustling or busy town / marketplace. It felt Middle-Eastern or Arabic (not a complaint, just an observation). At first, I was afraid that this would be another Pandora / Avatar Land. The queue for the star attraction and anchor of the land (Rise of the Resistance) wanders through a decent amount of Batuu much like the queue for Flight of Passage. Pandora and Batuu are both structured similarly, in that they have one main headlining attraction and another smaller, less thrilling attraction. Both are based on "popular" franchises, and are set in areas heretofore unseen in their respective films. Whereas Pandora feels small, tight, and cramped; Galaxy's Edge feels larger and more sprawling. I'd say I personally prefer Galaxy's Edge / Batuu over Pandora / Avatar Land.

Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance - This was a big one. This ride had been highly hyped before opening as having some of the most advanced ride tech ever seen. Scott Trowbridge, mastermind behind The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man over at Islands of Adventure and Revenge of the Mummy at Universal Studios Florida, was the creative lead for the ride. Much like Flight of Passage, the queue for Rise of the Resistance is part of the story, experience, and ride. It all feels like one enormous story, more-so than other rides of its ilk. The plot is that we have stumbled upon the secret Resistance base on Batuu, which is currently in the middle of a panicked evacuation effort. The First Order has tapped into the Resistance's communication frequencies and pinpointed the location of the base. We are to evacuate in a specialty craft, but before we can punch it to lightspeed, we find ourselves caught in a Star Destroyer's tractor beam. We're Hauled on board and held prisoner. When all hope seems lost, The Resistance shows up to our rescue with a daring rescue / escape plan.    There are some incredible effects in both the queue and during the ride itself. The Rey Hologram in the first pre-show room, the entire second pre-show / light motion simulator room, The enormous AT-ATs, Kylo Ren's lightsaber stabbing down through your elevator, the 2nd Kylo Ren AA (which has a notoriously terrible track record, actually worked for me!), and the last motion-simulator room are all impressive and will likely continue to wow many years later (so long as they are kept in proper working condition, of course. For example: The Star Destroyer canons have been non-functional for a long, long time now.).  Rise absolutely raises the bar on a what a theme park ride is capable of : The queue has it's own mini-motion simulator ride that comes with a nifty magic trick, the ride itself is massive (in as much as it feels like the ride building or ride path take up a very large area), and it pulls a reverse Skull Island: Reign of Kong (Kong essentially starts outdoors and ends indoors, Rise starts indoors and ends outside). Rise of the Resistance wasn't disappointing. It impressed in all the ways it needed too...Unfortunately, it didn't click with me on a personal or emotional level. Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance is very fun and boasts some truly incredible tech and tricks, but I wouldn't say it's the top attraction in Orlando or even just at Walt Disney World. 

Millennium Falcon: Smuggler's Run - Who hasn't dreamed of getting to fly in the Millennium Falcon and getting to scream PUNCH IT!!! as you jump to lightspeed. Well, now you have that chance. I didn't get the "full" experience as Bro and I chose Single Riders (It was late, Stand-By was 25 minutes, and we had Fantasmic to catch), so we missed out on the first part of the queue and that top-tier AA. The bare basic plot (what little of it I could suss out) is that we have been "employed" to pilot the Millennium Falcon on a smuggling run.  I felt like the Millennium Falcon portion of the queue didn't feel authentic. The Falcon is not a large craft, but the Falcon portions of the queue felt too big. The ride proper is incredibly chaotic. It's a bit like Mission: Space in that your "cockpit" rotates or swings out of the loading station, but it doesn't spin and is not a centrifuge. Each cockpit hold six crew members: two pilots, two gunners, and two engineers. The Pilots will be primarily focused on the screen, while the gunners and engineers will have to continually shift their attention from the screen to flashing buttons in the interior on the cockpit. Unlike Mission: Space, every button you push, your reaction time, and every yank on the wheel affects the ride, what occurs on screen, and your overall score. For example: If the pilots do a terrible job and keep crashing the poor Falcon, the Engineers will have a much more active role as each bump and dent incurs a button prompt for the Engineers to press. It's a very involved ride that requires you to have whip-fast reflexes and to be on high alert. The whole thing reminded me of a better version of something you'd find at DisneyQuest. It's basically Video Game: The Ride. The best thing about Smuggler's Run is that it requires genuine teamwork in order to fly a successful mission. You'll have to work together as a team with people you only just met seconds to minutes ago. If you ask me, that's pretty cool. 

Blue Milk - Disney's answer to Butterbeer is a non-contender...but I did like it. The consistency is odd...it's like a mixture of slushie and milkshake. The flavor itself is very sweet and fruity, tastes similar to Fruit Loops. It's somewhat refreshing, but works better if you're looking for something sweet and not something that will help re-hydrate or refresh. 

Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway - Let's get one thing straight right off the bat: This does not even come close to the insane heights of The Great Movie Ride. That's a pretty Herculean task, though. Let's try to be a little more fair, shall we? On it's own, as it's own weird (and I DO mean weird) thing I think Mickey and Minnie's is low-key the perfect ride to represent Mickey and his personality. The story is that we are visiting the Mann's Chinese Theater for the premiere of the newest Mickey Mouse short: Perfect Picnic. As we are watching, something goes wrong and we find ourselves beckoned into Mickey's cartoon world. Once seated in Goofy's locomotive, it isn't long before Mickey and Minnie accidentally cause our train to derail. Now, Mickey and Minnie must race against time to save us. The exterior of The Mann's Chinese Theater remains the same, but has been lightly plussed with the addition of a showy premiere marquee that boasts the title of the ride. It's eye-catching, and looks like The Mann's is hosting a real premiere.  Much of the queue remains the same. The posters for different films have been replaced with posters for Micky Mouse shorts. The glass display cases have been removed and a permanent partition or semi-wall has been erected. The movie theater / "pre-show" room has been ruthlessly redesigned. The room has essentially been cut into thirds. The back wall area is a wrap-around queue, the middle and front area to your right has been turned into two very tiny rooms/theaters complete with automatic doors for each, a hidden loading area, and the queue for it. The middle and front area to your left is a waiting area for the two new theaters. Once you enter the load room, it truly feels like you have stepped foot into a living, breathing cartoon. Much like Rise of the Resistance, this runaway train utilizes trackless technology to full, turbulent, dizzying effect. The ride is never uncomfortable or nauseating, but it can get rough and a bit wild. The 2.5-D effects are very cool but don't really call attention to themselves except during the mind-blowing grand finale. I'd say the highlights are the pre-show cartoon, the loading room, the first room and tunnel, The city street scene, the dance studio, and the grand finale. Mickey and Minnie's Runaway Railway most reminded me of Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin (especially during it's later half). While Mickey and Minnie's can't even come close to matching the bar set by The Great Movie Ride, it's still a ton of wild, goofy mayhem while you're on board.

Muppet*Vision 3-D - The very last project Jim Henson worked on before his untimely passing at the too-young age of fifty-four. It's a culturally important attraction. How is it looking today? You can tell the cast and fans are all feeling the pain. The entrance room of the queue has little Muppet plushies positioned about and the lines for the show were lengthy throughout the day. The new projection effects for the Waldo explosion are fine. I can't remember if there was a water effect when Fozzie squirts the audience, but it's definitely gone now. The curtain in front of the movie screen seems to be permanently parted. That's about it as far as missing / broken effects. The show is still just as funny and contagiously chaotic as it was the day it opened. It really has aged very little (not counting the MGM Studios street and the VERY 90s clothing the street extras wear in the last scene). Disney has promised they're looking into ways to preserve the movie and other aspects of the attraction, though I'm betting they just drop the queue video and main show on Disney + and call it a day. 

Pizzerizzo - I've heard A LOT about this little quick-serve pizzeria (mainly from a certain Orlando parks scooper). The theming is light, subtle, clever, and funny. The quality of the pizza was not bad. I ate in the banquet room, and absolutely LOVED IT!!!! I can see why some chose to attach themselves to this little eatery, as it had a surprising amount of personality and made for a fairly chill place to escape the streets and enjoy a bite.

50's Prime Time Cafe - I hadn't eaten here in MORE than a decade. It's MUCH better than I remember it being. Every room is set up like a room in a 50's style home, and most tables are facing or near an old-fashioned static-y black-and-white tv set. The tv loop mostly consists of clips from 50's tv shows involving food or eating. The waitresses are all dressed like 50's cafe waitresses, and most prefer to be called Mom. They are still very dry and sarcastic,  the classic house rules still apply (no elbows on tables, make sure you eat every last bite), and the staff aren't afraid to chastise, tease, and mess with patrons. It's a very fun environment, but the interiors started to feel a little too dark by the time we left (We got in around 5:30 pm , and left at 7:30 pm). I had the Blue Plate Special, which was a seared pork chop with Colcannon mashed potatoes (with pieces of potato skin mixed in) and onion gravy. It took longer to prepare the dish, but the wait was actually worth it. The meal was freaking delicious! I don't think I'd make a visit to 50's Prime Time Cafe a must every time I'm at the Studios, but every once-in-a-blue-moon, it would hit the spot.

Fantasmic! - Illuminations USED to be the best fireworks show at WDW, and IT STILL WOULD BE...if it hadn't been demolished. So, I guess we'll just have to settle for Fantasmic!. There has been more additions over my ten year absence than I had at first realized. There is a new Moana portion, a Frozen portion, and an Aladdin portion. The Pocahontas scene (created to promote the release of Pocahantas at the time) has been truncated and shortened, meaning the entire battle scene is gone. The "pre-show" (Disney pop stars singing updated versions of Disney songs. It's basically just listening to Radio Disney, but I dig it. It's always been chill.) , prologue / first scene, and later half of the show is where Fantasmic! is at it's best. Unfortunately, the first half of the show relies very heavily on water screens to the detriment of the show overall (at least, in my opinion). The Moana scene was the best addition, as the performer playing Moana gets to wade into ankle high water and splash around. Adding Elsa and Frozen was a no-brainer, seeing as it's the closest to a new classic that Disney has come to crafting in the modern day. What's baffling is to feature Show Yourself, an unpopular song from Frozen 2 ( itself a film most feel mid about), as Elsa's big solo moment. The lights and package that go with the song is very cool...but the song still sucks. The choice would be excusable if this had been added in an effort to promote Frozen 2, but that film came out 2019 and the new scenes were added Nov. 2022. Why not just choose Let It Go, a song that has been replayed ad infinitum but is attached to the better of the two films and itself is a better representation of the Elsa character than Show Yourself is. It's just a very odd, baffling, frustrating decision.  The biggest downfall of the show, though, was that the Maleficent dragon was down for the night, meaning we got saddled with the B mode from Disneyland: Maleficent rises up high on a raised platform, while swinging her staff around and firing off firework pot shots at Mickey. IT'S FREAKING LAME and just about cripples the entire show. So, yeah...I didn't love my experience with Fantasmic!. Even as a kid, I always wanted to love the show more than I actually did. As of right now, Fantasmic! is the premiere fireworks show at WDW by default.There really isn't any other fireworks show at WDW that is on the level of Fantasmic, in as much as it involves so many different formats: Water screens, fire works, live performers, stunts, and a "story". It's always been very ambitious, and back in the 90s, it definitely had that wow factor. Now, twenty-seven years later, some wows remain but many have lost their potency long ago. I suppose Fantasmic! as is will have to do for now, but with other theme parks eagerly upping their game, Fantasmic! all but demands a major technological upgrade sooner rather than later (the story is fine, but some of the effects need to be updated).

The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror - While some attractions need updates, upgrades and re-imaginings,  others continue to stand the test of time. The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror is still one of the very few PERFECT attractions out there (and I'm talking about not just in Disney, not just in Orlando, but in the entire world). With the direction the current heads of Disney are taking things, it's very likely only a matter of time until Tower gets a complete re-theme or overhaul. It's a tragedy, seeing as the ride still holds up exceptionally well. The theming throughout the queue, from the entrance to the gardens to the lobby to the libraries to the boiler room, is still immaculate. The tension, unease, suspense, and dread still builds as you make your way through the queue and then through the ride/hotel. I didn't notice any new additions or anything missing during my stay at the Hollywood Tower. She still holds the same power to terrify, thrill, and surprise two plus decades later. Let's just hope we don't lose her in the near future.

Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith - This ride has always had long lines, and it remains that way the year it is to be re-themed. Rock 'n' Roller Coaster was the last coaster I rode in my journey to conquer my fear of coasters. By the time I had finally built up the courage to ride it (back in 2010/early 2011) I had already conquered The Incredible Hulk Coaster, Dragon's Challenge / Dueling Dragons, and Hollywood Rip Ride Rock It! Needless to say, Rock 'n' Roller Coaster pales in comparison to the previously mentioned coasters. I've always enjoyed my rides on Rock'n', but I've never been in love with the coaster. It's always been more fun than thrilling (with the exception of that launch), and the theming inside the track is vibrant black light psychedelia. The interior queue is still a fun walk-through, the pre-show remains as entertaining as ever, and that loading room is still all kinds of cool. Rock 'n' Roller Coaster was never really aiming to be one of the greats, it's intent was always to be a stepping stone between coasters like Space Mountain and more intense thrills like The Incredible Hulk Coaster. I'd say it continues to fulfill that purpose quite well.  With The Electric Mayhem and The Muppets moving in, a new younger set of thrill seekers might be about to discover the exciting world of "Big Boy coasters" for themselves. I'm not exactly optimistic about the change, but I'm also not upset about it. As long as the loading area theming remains intact, I'll be ok.  

FRIGHT FEST: LISA FRANKENSTEIN

Set in 1989, Lisa Frankenstein follows traumatized teen Lisa Swallows. Alienated and outcast, she spends most of her time in a dilapidated graveyard where she befriends a handsome headstone. When an intense bolt of lightning sends the corpse buried under said headstone stumbling to Lisa’s front door, together they embark on a murderous mission to make the corpse whole again.

Lisa Frankenstein is Diablo Cody’s return to horror-comedies after a fifteen year absence. Her previous effort was the wildly popular Jennifer’s Body (directed by Karyn Kusama). While that film tried to do both horror and comedy equally, Lisa Frankenstein leans fully into the comedy with better results. 

Kathryn Newton plays the titular Lisa, and does a pretty good job (Certainly better than her efforts in Quantumania). She makes Lisa a very likable character, even as she grows into an arguably worse person as the flick rolls on. Carla Gugino (QUEEN!), plays Janet, the reluctant and hateful adoptive mother of Lisa. While her role/performance can’t match the insane heights of her role in The Fall of the House of Usher, Gugino is still very funny and memorable with limited screen time (and yes, thankfully there is a RHPS joke involving her). 

Liza Soberano is very good as Taffy, Lisa’s adopted sister. Taffy is one of the cool, popular girls at school. She’s shown to be fairly dumb and vain, but is one of the few characters who treats Lisa with any kind of kindness and empathy. She’s surprisingly likable and memorable. 

Cole Sprouse (of Zack and Cody and Riverdale fame) plays the re-animated corpse that Lisa falls for. He is mute for 99% of the movie, but his reactions to events are highly entertaining. He does a lot with just his body language, the way he moves, and his facial expressions. It also doesn’t hurt that Cody grew up to be pretty damn cute (and all of his outfits look great on him)! He just about steals every scene he’s in. I can’t wait to see him in more movies.

Zelda Williams (daughter of Robin Williams) directs Lisa Frankenstein. She has directed some very independent films before, but she seems to have mostly directed music videos. Under her direction, Lisa leans heavily into the goofy and the silly. It can be a bit jarring, but at least it’s consistent with its humorous tone. 

Mark Worthington is in charge of production design and Paula Huidobro does cinematography (and is it just me, or is Huidobro too much fun to say?). Lisa Frankenstein is highly stylized, so-much-so it practically bleeds style. The film looks and feels like it’s set in the late 80s, to the point where audiences should be able to tell the time period it’s set in just by the way the flick looks (we don’t get confirmation of the year until well into the 2nd act). Lisa features two delightful animated sequences as well as a fun dream sequence. These, as well as the overall tone and style, help to set Lisa Frankenstein apart from other films of its ilk.

Those expecting any kind of horror from Lisa Frankenstein are bound to be disappointed. It would seem Diablo Cody learned lessons from Jennifer’s Body and has decided to stick to what she does best: Comedy. Lisa is practically wall-to-wall jokes, and most work incredibly well. There’s also a good deal of heart and sweetness hidden under the cotton-candy bubblegum aesthetics. Lisa does feel like it wraps up a little too quickly, but when that’s the biggest problem with your film, there is little need to worry. 

Lisa Frankenstein is certainly flawed in some respects, but damn if it isn’t a bunch of laugh-filled fun. Diablo Cody’s return to horror-comedies is mostly a success. Luckily for us, this flick is far from a shambling, stumbling corpse. It’s confident, assured, and fairly memorable. Teens and adults should find much to enjoy with this macabre, funny flick.

3 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: IMMACULATE

In Immaculate, Cecilia (Sydney Sweeney) moves from the U.S. to Italy to take her vows and become a nun. While boarding at the local convent, she awakens to find that she has become miraculously pregnant. Those at the convent begin to worship Cecilia, seeing this as the work of God, but Cecilia isn't so sure. Things might not be as they appear. 

Immaculate is way more of a bonkers, silly B-movie than you would expect (I’m honestly not sure the film knew it was silly/ a B-movie). It reminded me of A Cure For Wellness in a weird way. Sydney Sweeney easily earns her status as a scream queen. Álvaro Morte as Father Sal Tedeschi is great as well. Bernadetta Percarolli as Sister Gwen is memorable in a supporting role with minimal screen time. 

There isn’t much development for our characters (Sister Gwen, Sydney Sweeney’s Sister Cicelia, and Father Sal Tedeschi get the most, and even then it’s pretty thread bare), and the film feels fairly simple and straight-forward. There’s also a good deal of jump-scares, none of which are all that effective or scary. 

It’s not until the start of the third act that Immaculate reveals it’s secretly been a B-movie all along. The last 20 minutes goes-for-broke, and the final 3 or 4 minutes are quite memorable (though I wish they had shown more). Immaculate is entertaining/ “fun”, very fucked up, and very sacrilegious. Not today, Satan!

3 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: THE FIRST OMEN

 The First Omen follows Margaret (Nell Tiger Free), a young nun who travels from Massachusetts to Rome to “take the veil”. Once situated in a convent/orphanage, she befriends a troubled teen named Carlita (Nicole Sorace) and stumbles upon a dark conspiracy involving the Catholic Church that threatens not only both of their lives, but potentially the entire world.

The First Omen is directed by Arkasha Stevenson. This is her feature film debut. Previously she had mostly directed episodes of tv shows like Legion (one episode), Brand New Cherry Flavor (one episode), and Channel Zero (six episodes). For her first theatrical effort, she hits an absolute home-run. Her direction is superb and precise. The First Omen is written by Arkasha Stevenson, Tim Smith, and Keith Thomas (The Vigil). The screenplay is pretty great and effective.

The First Omen is set in 1971 (five years prior to the events of The Omen). The film not only looks and feels accurate to the time period (props to the costume design by Paco Delgado and the production design by Eve Stewart), it also feels like it was made in that era as well. It’s an atmospheric, tense slow-burn that plays like a mixture of The Omen and Rosemary’s Baby. The aforementioned direction by Arkasha Stevenson and the exquisite, haunting cinematography by Aaron Morton help to cement the illusion (there’s even film grain!!!). The score crafted by Mark Korven is sure to send chills down your spine, and adds to the atmosphere and tension.

Bill Nighy, Charles Harris, and Eugenia Delbue are memorable in small roles (Delbue in particular is incredibly disturbing as an unfortunate pregnant woman). Ralph Inneson is perfection as Father Brennan, an ex-communicated priest determined to stop the Catholic Church’s plans. He feels like he belongs in the 70s and milks the most out of his supporting role (The character also plays a supporting role in the og Omen). Inneson’s rough, gravelly voice should be enough to keep most audience members pinned to their seat whenever he is on screen.

Nicole Sorace is great as Carlita. She does creepy well. Nell Tiger Free is phenomenal as Margaret, our heroine. Margaret has a troubled past (hence why she bonds with Carlita), and is plagued by horrific, disturbing visions. As she delves deeper into the Catholic church’s dark secret/s, the more her grasp on her own sanity begins to waver. Nell Tiger Free puts on a powerhouse, tour-de-force performance that is gripping, and even scary in some moments. Through it all she remains very likable. The First Omen acts as an incredible calling card for the young actress. You definitely won’t forget about her after the end credits roll.

While The First Omen teases who the Catholic Church is after, the truth is pretty easy to guess. There aren’t many surprises here, but the ride this film takes you on is top-notch and often incredibly disturbing and graphic (the imagery is consistently striking, horrifying, and memorable). The First Omen came very close to receiving an NC-17 rating, and it’s not hard to see why. This flick will F you up!

While certainly no one was asking for a prequel to The Omen, and the trailers didn’t do much to inspire excitement or hope, The First Omen succeeds at just about everything it set out to do. It’s a faithful prequel to The Omen, it’s the best religious horror film we’ve gotten in a long time, and it’s a refreshing return to the old-school/70s style of horror movie-making. The First Omen also has some scarily pertinent commentary on the Catholic Church. This film is, against all odds, a masterpiece and an absolute classic in the making. See it on the biggest screen you can, and buckle up. Things are about to get REAL!

5 STARS