HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS FAVORITES

 Since it's *checks calendar* May, and I'm already in the Halloween spirit (Yeah, I know. Sue me.) I figured why not post some lists of my favorite Halloween Horror Nights years, houses, and scarezones. These lists are not ranked or numbered. *** = The best of the best! Let's start with zones!

SCAREZONES

***Streets of Blood (HHN 18)

***The Skoolhouse (HHN 18)

***Fractured Tales (HHN 18)

***Asylum in Wonderland (HHN 18)

***Horrorwood Die-In (HHN 19)

***Containment (HHN 19)

***Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (HHN 19)

The Coven (HHN 20)

***Saws N Steam (HHN 20)

Acid Assault (HHN 21)

Grown Evil (HHN 21)

Canyon of Dark Souls (HHN 21)

Nightmaze (HHN 21)

*** The Purge: Anarchy (HHN 24)

***Icons: HHN (HHN 25)

Invasion! (HHN 27)

Rob Zombie's Hillbilly Deluxe (HHN 29)

Vikings: Undead (HHN 29)

Gorewood Forest (HHN 30)

***Jungle of Doom: Expedition Horror (HHN 32)

Shipyard 32: Horrors Unhinged (HHN 32)

HOUSES

***The Hallow (HHN 18)

Creatures (HHN 18)

***Body Collectors: Collections of the Past (HHN 18)

Dead Exposure (HHN 18)

***Silver Screams (HHN 19)

***Leave it to Cleaver (HHN 19)

Frankenstein: Creation of the Damned (HHN 19)

Dracula: Legacy in Blood (HHN 19)

Hades: The Gates of Ruin (HHN 20)

Psychoscareapy: Echoes of Shadybrook (HHN 20)

***Zombigeddon (HHN 20)

Catacombs: Black Death Rising (HHN 20)

Legendary Truth: The Wyandot Estate (HHN 20)

***Havoc: Dogs of War (HHN 20)

Horror Nights: The Hallowed Past (HHN 20)

The Thing (HHN 21)

***The Forsaken (HHN 21)

***The In-Between (HHN 21)

***Winter's Night: The Haunting of Hawthorne Cemetery (HHN 21)

***Nightingales: Blood Prey (HHN 21)

Nevermore: The Madness of Poe (HHN 21)

***Saws N Steam: Into the Machine (HHN 21)

H.R. Bloodengutz Presents: Holidays of Horror (HHN 21)

***Dead End (HHN 22)

Gothic (HHN 22)

***An American Werewolf in London (HHN 23)

AVP (HHN 24)

Roanoke: Cannibal Colony (HHN 24)

***Halloween (HHN 24)

***Insidious (HHN 25)

***Freddy vs. Jason (HHN 25)

***Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem (HHN 25)

***Body Collectors: Recollections (HHN 25)

AHS: Vol 2 (HHN 27)

***Scarecrow: The Reaping (HHN 27)

The Shining (HHN 27)

Dead Waters (HHN 27)

The Fallen (HHN 27)

Hive (HHN 27)

***Graveyard Games (HHN 29)

***Universal Monsters (HHN 29)

House of 1000 Corpses (HHN 29)

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (HHN 29)

Welcome to SCarey: Horror in the Heartland (HHN 30)

***HHN Icons: Captured (HHN 30)

***Case Files: Legendary Truth (HHN 30)

***Texas Chainsaw Massacre (HHN 30)

***Wicked Growth: Realm of the Pumpkin (HHN 30)

***Puppet Theater: Captive Audience (HHN 30)

Revenge of the Tooth Fairy (HHN 30)

***Dr. Oddfellow's Twisted Origins (HHN 32)

***Dueling Dragons: Choose Thy Fate (HHN 32)

***Blood Moon: Dark Offerings (HHN 32)

***The Darkest Deal (HHN 32)

Now, let's see which House area has had the best lineup of houses over the years!

DISASTER QUEUE

***Leave it to Cleaver (HHN 19)

***Zombiegeddon (HHN 20)

H.R. Bloodengutz Presents: Holidays of Horror (HHN 21)

JAWS QUEUE

*** Saws N Steam: Into the Machine (HHN 21)

MIB TENT

House of 1000 Corpses (HHN 29)

Welcome to SCarey: Horror in the Heartland (HHN 30)

PARADE WAREHOUSE

***Silver Screams (HHN 19)

Horror Nights: The Hallowed Past (HHN 20)

***The Forsaken (HHN 21)

Roanoke: Cannibal Colony (HHN 24)

***Graveyard Games (HHN 29)

SECOND PARADE WAREHOUSE

***Universal Monsters (HHN 29)

SOUNDSTAGE 20

***Body Collectors: Collections of the Past (HHN 18)

***Dead End (HHN 22)

Gothic (HHN 22)

SOUNDSTAGE 21 

***Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem (HHN 25)

AHS: Vol 2 (HHN 27)

SOUNDSTAGE 22

Creatures! (HHN 18)

Legendary Truth: The Wyandot Estate (HHN 20)

***Winter's Night: The Haunting of Hawthorne Cemetery (HHN 21)

***An American Werewolf in London (HHN 23)

The Shining (HHN 27)

SOUNDSTAGE 23

Frankenstein: Creation of the Damned (HHN 19)

Dracula: Legacy in Blood (HHN 19)

Hades: The Gates of Ruin (HHN 20)

Psychoscareapy: Echoes of Shadybrook (HHN 20)

The Thing (HHN 21)

***Nightingales: Blood Prey (HHN 21)

***The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (HHN 30)

***Blood Moon: Dark Offerings (HHN 32)

SOUNDSTAGE 24

AvP (HHN 24)

***Freddy vs Jason (HHN 25)

***Body Collectors: Recollections (HHN 25)

The Fallen (HHN 27)

Dead Waters (HHN 27)

Revenge of the Tooth Fairy (HHN 30)

***HHN Icons: Captured (HHN 30)

***Dueling Dragons: Choose Thy Fate (HHN 32)

SHREK 4D THEATER

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (HHN 29)

***Case Files Unearthed: Legendary Truth (HHN 30)

SPRUNG TENT 1

***The Hallow (HHN 18)

***The In-Between (HHN 21)

Catacombs: Black Death Rising (HHN 20)

***Scarecrow: The Reaping (HHN 27)

***Puppet Theater: Captive Audience (HHN 30)

***The Darkest Deal (HHN 32)

SPRUNG TENT 2

***Dead Exposure (HHN 18)

***Havoc: Dogs of War (HHN 20)

Nevermore: The Madness of Poe (HHN 21)

***Halloween (HHN 24)

***Insidious (HHN 25)

Hive (HHN 27)

*** Wicked Growth: Realm of the Pumpkin (HHN 30)

***Dr. Oddfellow's Twisted Origins (HHN 32)

So, going by the above list, the locations that tend to have the best houses are Sprung Tent 1 (5 Best of, 6 houses total), Sprung Tent 2 (5 Best of, 8 houses total), Soundstage 23 (3 Best of, 8 houses total), Soundstage 24 (4 Best of, 8 houses total), and Parade Warehouse (3 Best of, 5 houses total)

Now, onto Scarezone locations!

NEW YORK CITY STREETS

***Streets of Blood (HHN 18)

***Saws N Steam (HHN 20)

Acid Assault (HHN 21)

The Purge: Anarchy (HHN 24)

CENTRAL PARK

Grown Evil (HHN 21)

***Trick r' Treat (HHN 27)

Vikings: Undead (HHN 29)

Gorewood Forest (HHN 30)

***Jungle of Doom: Expedition Horror (HHN 32)

HOLLYWOOD

***Asylum in Wonderland (HHN 18)

***Icons: HHN (HHN 25)

SAN FRANCISCO

***Horrorwood Die-In (HHN 19)

Invasion! (HHN 27)

***Rob Zombie's Hillbilly Deluxe (HHN 29)

Shipyard 32: Horrors Unhinged (HHN 32)

TRANSFORMERS ALLEY

The Coven (HHN 20)

***Nightmaze (HHN 21)

MEL'S DRIVE-IN AREA

*** The Skoolhouse (HHN 18)

KIDZONE

***Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (HHN 19)

INTERNATIONAL FOOD BAZAAR

Canyon of Dark Souls (HHN 21)

PRODUCTION CENTRAL

***Containment (HHN 19)

For Scarezones, it looks like the locations with the strongest Scarezones are Central Park (2 Best of, 5 zones total), San Francisco (2 Best of, 4 zones total), New York City Streets (2 Best of, 4 zones total), and Hollywood (2 Best of, 2 zones total)

Last but not least, let's go through each year, listing the houses and scarezones that have been named above, in order to see which years have been the strongest overall!!

HHN 18

***Streets of Blood (HHN 18)

***The Skoolhouse (HHN 18)

***Fractured Tales (HHN 18)

***Asylum in Wonderland (HHN 18)

BECOME OBSESSED WITH OBSESSION.

 In Obsession, Bear (Michael Johnston) has a crush on one of his close friends, Nikki (Inde Navarratte). While at an occult store, he picks up a One Wish Willlow, a novelty toy from the 80s that supposedly grants the user one wish. Later, without thinking, Bear uses the Willlow to make a wish: For Nikki to love him more than anyone in the entire world. So the Monkey’s Paw curls. Bear gets exactly what he wished for, but in horrifying ways he never could have predicted. Be careful what you wish for.

Obsession is the first feature length film from YouTube wunderkind Curry Barker, who was just recently handed the reigns to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. After seeing this, it’s easy to see why. He’s clearly the right guy for the job. Barker directed, edited, and penned the screenplay for Obsession. He excels at each role, bringing his own intoxicating blend of horror and dark humor to the proceedings. Obsession is never slow or boring, moving at a good pace throughout (I honestly could have watched another full hour of this film). 

Rock Burwell crafts the score and hits a home run. It sounds like a decaying music box a good deal of the time, and definitely adds to the fear and tension throughout. Taylor Clemens handles the cinematography and does a great job as well. He knows how to work with dark spaces on the periphery, how to utilize characters in the background of scenes, and enjoys playing with shadows. Clemens’ work adds to the terror lurking within this flick.

Michael Johnston plays Bear and nails the role. Bear is an awkward, insecure, sensitive, and somewhat selfish young man who works at a music store with his friends. When he makes the wish, he does so without any seriousness, unaware just how real a One Wish Willow’s effects are. When things get real and Bear sees how the Willow is affecting Nikki, Bear is left with a choice: Find a way to undo his wish or continue to live in his dream-turned-nightmare.

You’d think the choice would be an easy one, but not so for Bear. So what if Nikki has been turned into an unhinged, unstable psychopath… he’s still finally got her “love”. Yeah, Bear is kind of a weak person when all is said and done (for example: You see him sobbing uncontrollably early on at the thought of Nikki not loving him). Johnston takes a character that could easily become unlikable and finds ways to keep him relatable, empathetic, and human throughout. He’s also an ace when it comes to portraying genuine terror. Most people are going to fawn over Inde Navarrette’s performance, but Michael Johnston deserves much praise too. 

Inde Navarrette is a genuine, rare find as Nikki. Curry Barker is so lucky to have found her, and hopefully her performance here will open many more doors for the young actress. She’s got real talent, and easily commands the screen whenever she is on. Navarrette excels at playing “Normal Nikki” and “Freaky Nikki”. We only get to see Normal Nikki for the first twenty to twenty-five minutes of the movie. Once Bear breaks the One Wish Willow, Normal Nikki only appears sporadically and for just literal seconds at a time.

That said, Normal Nikki is an endearing and sweet character. Despite spending little time with her, you like her. Navarrette’s performance as “Freaky Nikki”, however, is what’s going to garner acclaim and maybe even win awards. She goes for broke and swings for the fences. It’s a bold strategy as it could easily come across as mugging for the camera (think Jim Carrey), but in Inde’s hands this is never the case. 

“Freaky Nikki” is easily the scariest character we’ve gotten in a horror film in some time. She’s legitimately terrifying and unsettling. Barker uses some editing tricks to even make the way Nikki moves scary. Navarrette is phenomenal when it comes to her facial acting, and much of the fear comes from the ways she uses her face. She’s also excellent at rapidly switching between intensity levels. The girl can go from zero to a hundred at the drop of a dime, and this gives the audience the effect of walking on eggshells. You’re never ever fully comfortable or at ease when Inde is on screen (and even at times when she’s off-screen).

As for the supporting cast, Cooper Tomlinson (from Barker’s YouTube short film, Milk and Serial) is likable as Ian, the “frat bro” best friend to Bear. He shows genuine concern when Nikki goes freaky, and brings up some valid points to Bear. Megan Lawless plays Sarah, a friend of Bear’s who has a crush on him. She doesn’t get as much of a chance to shine as others, but is still likable and does well in her role. 

Obsession is an honest-to-God diamond-in-the-rough. It’s terrifying but heartfelt. It almost feels like a super dark version of that episode of The Fairly Oddparents where Timmy wishes for Trixie to be his girlfriend. You will scream, and you will laugh. It’s rare when you find yourself laughing not out of humor, but out of unease and horror. With Obssession, Curry Barker has crafted one hell of a calling card. It’s genuinely one of the best and scariest horror films of this decade. Obsession is a masterpiece. I'm obsessed.

5 STARS

RETRO REVIEW: THE ELEPHANT MAN

 “YOU’RE THE MONSTER! YOU’RE THE FREAK!!!”

“You’re not an elephant man. You’re Romeo.”

“I AM NOT AN ELEPHANT!!!! I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!”

Based on a true story: 21 year old John Merrick has lived a life of cruelty and hardship as a traveling sideshow freak due to an unfortunate and incurable deformity. Dr. Frederick Treves, a surgeon, stumbles upon him and chooses to befriend the poor soul. Treves rescues him, giving Merrick a home at his hospital and showing him the first bits of human kindness and empathy John has ever known. This institutes an inner transformation for Merrick, who begins to see himself as a man for the first time ever. However, as more of high society line up to meet him, uncomfortable questions arise: Has John traded one circus for another?  Is Treves just a kinder version of John’s initial, abusive owner?

A beautiful, magnificent, deeply moving and deeply affecting film of pure empathy. John Hurt and Anthony Hopkins deliver stellar, heartfelt, and human performances as our leads. Freddie Jones as Bytes and Michael Elphick as Jim Rashad are monstrous and easy to hate as our antagonists. Anne Bancroft as Madge Kendal, a notorious stage actress, and Hannah Gordon as Ann Treves, wife of Frederick are kind, soft, and tender as women that grow to care about John.

The screenplay by Christopher De Vore, Eric Bergen, and David Lynch fill the proceedings with a great deal of humanity, tragedy, and warmth. The Elephant Man might be the most straight-forward film David Lynch has made. For my money, it’s also his best. Lynch gets it. Bring plenty of tissues.

5 STARS

PSYCHO KILLER SLASHES IT'S WAY TO FAILURE

 In Psycho Killer, Kansas Highway Patrol agent Jane Archer (Georgina Campbell) hunts down a satanic serial killer (James Preston Rogers) after she witnesses him murder her husband, a fellow Highway Patrol agent. Desperate to prevent more senseless deaths, Jane tracks the killer and in the process realizes that he has much bigger plans than random acts of violence. As each murder brings him closer to his ultimate goal, Jane finds herself continually one step behind the talented psycho. Will Jane be able to stop him before he can enact his grand finale?

So much wasted potential. The threadbare screenplay feels more like an outline and desperately needed a few more passes or re-writes to beef up the characters and lore. Seven scribe Andrew Kevin Walker penned the screenplay. He also penned Sleepy Hollow, 8MM, and The Killer and co-wrote Windfall and The Wolfman. The first draft of the screenplay was finished in 2007 and his second draft was completed in 2008.

It’s admittedly a different take to make a “detective procedural” from the pov of the killer. Unfirtunately, our psycho killer (dubbed the Satanic Slasher, played by James Preston Rogers) is a deeply silly character. He wears silly sunglasses, has a silly little mask, and speaks with a silly ultra-deep voice that sounds like he’s speaking through a voice changer. I’d bet all of his lines are dubbed. He gets no motivation, and the explanation of who he is is barely explained.

We never get a good look into the Satanic Slasher’s  psyche or what makes him tick besides the movie explicitly stating that he is an insane Satanist. There are tiny breadcrumbs in the film that hint at who the Satanic Slasher is and how he got here, but the audience has to put the pieces together for themselves after the film has ended. The quick news report in the 13th hour that briefly exposes his identity plays like serious whiplash. Georgina Campbell is great and compelling, despite being given essentially nothing to work with. The cinematography by Magnus Nordenhof Jønck is pretty, even if the locations and sets are bare bones.

This is director Gavin Polone’s first feature film (He was attached to direct since 2010), and it shows. His work as director here feels absolutely absent. He’s got no presence. Psycho Killer wants to be taken seriously. It wants to be dark and cool, but is woefully unaware of just how silly it really is. If the screenplay had been worked on a significant amount more, this could have been interesting. There was definite potential here. Unfortunately, as is, Psycho Killer is an under-developed nothing-burger.

2 STARS

HOKUM BRINGS THE SPOOKY

 In Hokum, we follow Ohm Bowman (Adam Scott), a depressed, alcoholic writer with an attitude issue. He travels from America to Ireland to spread his parent’s ashes, staying at their honeymoon spot while there. Ohm eventually becomes personally invested in a local mystery, deciding to investigate on his own. He winds up trapped in the hotel’s honeymoon suite where he will have to survive a litany of terrors if he’s going to make it out alive. 

Adam Scott is compelling and interesting as our leading man, Ohm. Scott deftly mixes humor and pathos to an effective degree. Ohm makes for an engaging lead despite his overall sour personality, and it’s fun to follow him on his personal quest. Ohm isn’t just an audience stand-in as he is a fully developed character with layers.

The stand-outs of the supporting cast are David Wilmot as Jerry, Will O’Connell as Alby the bellhop and Jack the Jackass, and Florence Ordesh as Fiona. Fiona is a kind, friendly bartender whom Ohm warms up to and befriends. She ends up coming in for the clutch a few times when Ohm needs help. Jerry is a strange hermit who enjoys ‘Shrooms and winds up investigating the mystery alongside Ohm. Jerry is low-key the GOAT. Alby is a dejected bellhop who seeks approval from Ohm, and Jack the Jackass is the scary host of a kids tv show. The cast cobbled together for Hokum is strong and likable, each character adding something different to the proceedings. 

Damien McCarthy writes and directs. He previously wrote and directed Caveat and Oddity. While Oddity is more consistently creepy and scary than Hokum, the atmosphere crafted here is still rich, tense, and freaky. McCarthy took clear inspiration from 1408 and The Shining, sprinkling a little bit of Irish folklore on top and adding his own personal flavor to the mix. While there are a good deal of jump scares throughout (most of which fall flat), there is one genuinely terrifying sequence in the third act. 

The strongest aspects of Hokum aren’t the scares, but its rich and satisfying story, and the consistently tense and creepy atmosphere. This is another winner for McCarthy. Check in to the Bilberry Hotel, ask for the Honeymoon Suite. A scary, sad, and surprisingly heartwarming time awaits.

4 STARS

MICHAEL ATTEMPTS TO MOONWALK

Undeniably entertaining but you can definitely tell there is a better film screaming to claw its way out. The original cut likely was going to focus a lot more on MJ’s inability to grow up and how that affected the man he would become and the crimes against children he would go on to commit. Unfortunately, once the Jackson estate got involved all that went out the window. Instead, we have a film that “plays the hits” and doesn’t offer up any new insights or information about the God of pop (the film doesn’t even really delve into how MJ came up with the ideas for some of his songs). 

If you are a long-time fan of MJ’s, you’ve seen all this before. This version zeroes in on MJ’s attempts to free himself from under the oppressive thumb of his controlling and abusive father and culminates/ends with Jackson releasing Bad. Joseph Jackson is played as a one-note sneering villain by the normally talented Colman Domingo. Joseph might as well come with his own “BOO!” sign.

Jaafar Jackson (Son of Jermaine Jackson. MJ was his paternal uncle) steps into the moonwalking shoes of Jackson with ease and finesse. Jaafar channels the spirit of his late uncle. He nails MJ’s voice and dance moves to perfection. He even looks like him once he loses the afro for a perm. After a bit, you forget you aren’t watching the real MJ.

Juliano Valdi shines as well as young MJ. Much like Jaafar, he nails young MJ’s look, voice, and dance moves. Miles Teller is a welcome and likable presence as John Branca, a record exec who assists MJ throughout. Mike Meyers makes a surprise appearance as Walter Yetnikoff, president of CBS records, and is entertaining in his one scene.

Antoine Fuqua directs and does a solid job. Dione Beebe is in charge of cinematography. Conrad Buff IV, Tom Cross, John Ottman, and Harry Yoon handle editing duties. Michael looks sleek, sharp, and shiny with some concert, music video/short film, and on-stage moments impressing mightily. This film looks good!

Michael works best as a concert film, which it eventually turns into during the second and third acts. It’s hard not to have fun watching Jaafar as MJ sing and strut his way across the screen (and it’s very cool to watch part of Thriller on the big screen. They even seem to have used the actual iconic filming location from the music video/short film). MJ was a multi-layered and complex person, so it’s disappointing that this film opts for a mostly surface level representation of the God of Pop. 

Scenes from the original cut manage to sneak their way in, but only serve to remind audiences of the much-better film we could have gotten. As is, the scenes with MJ fixating on childhood items and films exist as an afterthought. The next movie (if it’s released) might delve deeper than Michael chooses to, but with the Jackson Estate in control, it’s hard to have much hope. Michael is a highly entertaining reminder of the immense, once-in-a-lifetime talent MJ was. It certainly could have been great, but as it stands it’s your typical biopic of a musician. See it for the concert and music video/short film scenes (of which there are many).

3 STARS

2025 CATCH-UP : FLIGHT RISK

What a baffling movie. A fun concept and a good cast is grounded by a terrible screenplay (Jared Rosenberg) and atrocious direction (The once talented Mel Gibson). Michele Dockery and Mark Whalberg attempt to carry the proceedings, but fail. Dockery’s Madelyn Harris is given a tiny bit of backstory and pathos in an attempt to add gravitas to her character and stakes to her mission. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work as we are given very little reason to care about her (or any other) character. 

Mark Whalberg (with a very unfortunate balding hair line) tries to keep things fun, but also fails mostly due to him being a generally terrible and non-threatening hitman. He spends the majority of the runtime handcuffed or subdued by our leads. His abundance of terrible sexual threats/jokes grow stale and tiresome fast. 

Topher Grace struggles as Winston, a mafia accountant turned informant who acts as the unfunny and annoying comedic relief wet noodle. He is mostly useless except in one brief pivotal moment. There are attempts at humor that completely fall flat due to terrible comedic timing or misreadings of lines. 

There are also parts that are painfully cringe, like another pilot who is called to assist and almost immediately asks Madelyn out on a date, she happily accepts, then he playfully flirts with her for the rest of his scenes. I never would have guessed Mel Gibson was the man in the pilot’s seat. This could have been a fun B movie, but Mel Gibson steers course towards psychological thriller and winds up crashing his plane as a result. There’s hard to feel any tension when the big bad is handcuffed in the back for the majority of the film while our protagonists mostly ignore or disregard him and talk to each other/to FBI headquarters (there’s an uninteresting sub-plot involving a mole in the agency)/to the other pilot. They don’t appear to think of him as much of a threat, so why should we? 

Unfortunately, Flight Risk is a fairly dull and boring trip where very little of interest or import occurs during our time in the skies. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. This does not bode well for Passion of the Christ 2 or any future Mel Gibson helmed films. Gibson, you’ve been permanently grounded and your pilot’s license revoked.

1 STAR