MARKIPLER'S IRON LUNG IS A RARITY

Iron Lung is set in the far future where a catastrophic event known as “The Quiet Rapture” has caused all the known stars and habitable planets to mysteriously disappear, leaving only those who were on space stations or starships. With supplies dwindling and infrastructure crumbling, survivors search for any trace of natural resources they can use. Convict Simon (Markiplier) is sent on a suicide mission to explore an ocean of blood on a desolate moon in the hopes that he might find something, anything that could save the last remnants of humanity.  Alone on a rickety sub, he is told that if he survives he will earn his freedom. When his mission takes a turn for the worst, Simon will not only have to fight off his crumbling sanity but also the horrors that lurk underneath the bloody waves. 

The day has finally arrived. Beloved YouTuber Mark “Markiplier” Fishbach (listed only as Markiplier in the credits) releases his first ever theatrical movie. Mark not only stars in Iron Lung, he also directs, penns the screenplay by himself, is in charge of editing duties, and even self-financed the project (That means no production logos play before the film). Yes, this is a wildly ambitious film. Iron Lung is a rarity in that it is a genuine low-budget independent movie.

Mark as an actor is pretty good, considering he is working off of voices for the majority of the film. His acting isn’t unlike how he acts during his Let’s Plays, but he still does a convincing and emotional job. He competently carries the entirety of the  film on his back. No easy task, believe you me. Mark throws himself through the wringer, allowing himself to be tossed around like a rag doll, drowned in torrential rivers of blood, and even gets to play with some very gross practical prosthetics/effects (the CGI seldomly utilized is quite good as well). His effort and dedication do not go unnoticed.

Iron Lung is a wild and experimental sci-fi psychological survival horror movie. It’s not made for general audiences. Running at around two hours, the film is slowly paced and, while there’s a lot of lore and story included, there isn’t always much going on on-screen to keep audiences awake and engaged. The audio in my theater was pretty muted, so I had to strain to make sure I could hear what was being said (I’m assuming this was an issue with my theater and not the film, but I could be wrong). The strongest portions are the first and third act. The final minutes in particular are really gripping.

Iron Lung is effectively claustrophobic and tense for most of its run-time. You will feel like you were trapped aboard the “Iron Lung” with poor Simon by the time the end credits roll. Questions involving faith, science, the trustworthiness of those who orchestrated the mission, and Simon’s sanity are raised throughout. Most is explained by the end, but Iron Lung does a pretty good job at keeping audiences guessing right up till the end.

The score is done by Andrew Hulshult, who scored the new Doom games. It sounds very good and assists in upping the tension or adrenaline at certain moments.The cinematography by Philip Roy is crisp, clear, and more than competent. The sole set used is very cool, but the budgetary restraints can be evidenced in some parts (mainly the control panel and camera screen). The costume for Simon is very cool as well.

Iron Lung was a clear labor of love for all involved. While the final product likely won’t win any awards, long-time gamers and fans of Markiplier should find something to enjoy here. Iron Lung impresses and surprises more than it doesn’t. It’s also the rare good (very good, actually) video game movie. Good job, Mark. I’ll see you in the next review. BUH-BYE!!!!

4 STARS

SAM RAIMI SENDS HELP

 Linda Liddell (Rachel McAdams) is an unappreciated over-achiever and Suvivor (as in the tv show) enthusiast who works in strategy and planning. Promised a VP position by her former boss, she is heart-broken when his nepo baby dickhead son, Bradley (Dylan O’Brien), takes over and passes the job to one of his college buddies (a mini Patrick Bateman named Donovan, played by Xavier Samuel). When their private jet headed for a corporate meeting crashes into the ocean during a fierce storm, Linda and Bradley wash up on the same deserted island. They carry their ugly corporate politics from their previous lives onto the island, and a desperate fight for dominance ensues.

Sam Raimi returns to original films after mixed reactions to 2022’s Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Raimi continues his signature taste for oddball dark humor, this time leaning fully into the comedy aspect of survival films. Send Help is a comedically cartoonish take on Cast Away or Survivor. A good portion of the movie feels like an extended take on the SpongeBob episode where SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward find themselves stranded on an island.

This film refuses to take itself seriously, despite there being a good deal of darkness and messed-up stuff going on, especially in the last 35 minutes. The cinematography is handled by Bill Pope. It’s competently done, but shines most during the first 20 minutes on the mainland. The score is composed by Danny Elfman and he does an impressive job as usual. There is a lot of CGI used throughout and all of it is ugly, bad, obvious, and overly cartoony. Rachel McAdams and Dylan O’Brien are entertaining in their respective roles. It’s appreciated neither are particularly likable by the end.

Those looking for horror are bound to be disappointed as this one is basically a straight-up dark comedy. Easter Eggs to look out for include the necklace from Evil Dead being worn by Linda during the first act and a sequence that hearkens back to Raimi’s beloved Deadites. Send Help isn’t quite the return to form or return to horror fans have been screaming for as Raimi’s main interest these days seems to be making goofy, darkly comedic, feature-length live-action cartoons. Despite my complaints, Send Help is still a wildly entertaining time at the theater.

3.5 STARS

THE MONKEY GOES APE

 IT’S NOT A TOY!

In The Monkey, a seemingly harmless wind-up monkey brings horrific death to those around him when he is played with. Twin brothers Hal and Bill (Theo James) are unexpectedly re-united with their old foe when they near middle age. Now, they must find a way to stop the monkey before everyone they know dies. 

The Monkey is a dark absurdist horror-comedy. It’s ultra-dark and ultra-silly. It’s like a different flavor of the Final Destination franchise. Most of the deaths are unrealistic (one person explodes into a red mist when hit with the single blast of a shotgun, ditto for another who gets electrocuted) and played for laughs. Tatiana Maslany leaves an impression as Lois, the woefully unequipped single mother of our protagonists. Colin O’Brien plays Peter, the son of Hal. He reminds of a young Kyle Gallner (I suppose one could also compare him to Douglas Smith, but that would just be mean). 

Theo James leads the film with ease, playing two VERY different characters with distinct personalities. There aren’t many camera tricks utilized, but you still believe him as both Bill and Hal (though Hal gets much more screen time, is the star of the movie, and might be the more likable of the twins). 

Christian Convery also impresses as Young Hal and Young Bill. It’s easy to buy Convery and James as the same characters at different ages, and each are very memorable and do excellent work. Convery is a lot of fun (I personally found his portrayal of Bill to be more entertaining), Theo James plays neurotic and freaked out incredibly well as Hal (James’ portrayal of Bill is more unhinged and wild than Convery’s, but it makes sense for the character), and James’ deep dulcet tones he affects for the role are very pleasing. 

Rohan Campbell (Corey Cunningham in Halloween Ends) is in a decent amount of the film as Thrasher, a drooling metal head adorned with a hilariously ugly and fake rocker mullet that perpetually covers his eyes (think 80s hair bands). Campbell is clearly having a blast turning his brain off, and he plays the role very well. That said, he isn’t given much to do and the role doesn’t ask a lot from him. Still great to see him on the big screen though. Campbell isn’t the only notable surprise appearance from a known actor. I won’t spoil any, but two in particular are a delight.

Despite The Monkey being a horror-comedy with a heavy emphasis on comedy, it’s not afraid to take time out to sprinkle in a little pathos and explore the relationship between Bill and Hal, or the relationship between Hal and Peter. It’s not much, but it’s enough. The extra effort to ground the increasingly ridiculous proceedings is appreciated.

Some are certain to experience the law of diminishing returns with The Monkey. I could see how exaggerated deaths might get less and less funny each time, and a good deal of the deaths utilize not-great CGI. There’s some dead air in-between the deaths and scenes featuring the titular monkey. There’s also a bit of a shoe-drop somewhere in the second act that changes the trajectory/course of the film. That said, if you’re on this weird, gory little flick’s wavelength, a great, bloody time is just about guaranteed. I know I had an absolute blast with The Monkey. You want my advice? Wind it up and see what happens.

4 STARS

COMPANION FLIPS THE BREAK-UP FILM GENRE ON ITS EAR

 Josh brings his new gf Iris to a “little rustic cabin in the woods” (see: A luxurious and modern house) to party with his friends for the weekend. Their plans spiral violently out of control when, in an act of self-defense, Iris murders the host. This leads to a whole slew of revelations and a new goal: capture the escaped Iris before things get any worse. 

Not as much of a comedy as the trailers made it out to be. Companion is more of an ultra-dark and brutal breakup film about love, survival, and betrayal. There are multiple twists and turns, with each new revelation bringing our protagonists down darker paths.Sophie Thatcher leads the film well-enough as Iris, a likable and naive “emotional support robot…that also fucks”. 

Harvey Guillen makes his minor supporting role of Eli count (same goes double for Lukas Gage as his partner, Patrick). Megan Suri plays Kay, a ex-flame of Jack Quaid’s Josh, who is busy dating a shady rich Russian. It’s clear that Josh and her still kind-of have a thing for each other. Despite Kat’s tendency to bristle whenever Iris is around, she seems nice enough but even she is hiding darker layers. 

Jack Quaid starts out likable enough, but as things continue to spiral horrifically out of control his mask slips, revealing the monster underneath. Yeah, Jack Quaid knows how to play a damn good villain. Years before his starring role in 5cream he played Marvel in The Hunger Games, who would infamously murder Rue. So yeah, he’s been working at the villain thing for a while now, and this might be his most effective turn yet. 

The last 30 minutes are where Companion is at its peak. Don’t expect to feel uplifted or happy when this relatively short film ends: There is A LOT of murder, and those who survive might walk away with a newfound sense of purpose, but will likely always carry some amount of emotional scarring regardless. Companion is a smart, savvy, great film. It starts out as a ton of fun, but expect your smile to fade as events grow progressively more gruesome and fucked-up. Definitely a unique breakup film, as it has much more on its mind than a simple breakup.

4 STARS

BORDERLINE

 Ray Nicholson in this is my crazy bisexual king. While the way Borderline opens with VO narration by Nicholson’s Duerson sets us up to think this will be his story, and the trailers made it look like Samara Weaving would be the protagonist, arguably the main character is actually Eric Dane’s Bell, a bodyguard for Samara Weaving’s Sofia.

Weaving shines like always, but it’s Ray Nicholson (son to Jack Nicholson, and boy does he look and act alarmingly similar to dear old dad) who easily steals the entire show. He has crazy down to a T (don’t believe me? Check him out in Novacaine and Smile 2). It’s impossible not to have a blast watching him act his heart out. It’s far from being a serious role, but he entertains like no other. Nicholson is in this a lot, yet by the end it still feels like we needed more of him.

A good deal of the film is sidetracked by the “secondary” plot involving Eric Dane’s Bell and his family, and these parts are never all that entertaining or engaging. Naturally, the two separate plots blend together eventually, but the extended focus on Dane’s Bell comes across like the filmmakers felt like the “A” plot didn’t have enough material to get the end product over the finish line. Troubling and disappointing, indeed. Luckily, all of the scenes involving Nicholson and Weaving are delightfully demented and sick, and Nicholson manages to carry all of the proceedings on his back.

Supporting roles from Alba Baptista, Jimmy Fails, and Patrick Cox don’t leave much of a lasting impression, although Weaving and Baptista share one memorable scene and Fails has a significant role to play in the third act (to humorous effect). Not everything comes together in a clean or satisfying way by the end, but there is still a ton of fun to be had on the way to the end credits.

3.5 STARS

THE DAY THE EARTH BLEW UP: A LOONEY TUNES MOVIE

 Daffy Duck’s and Porky Pig’s quest to save their beloved home has them reluctantly landing a job at the Local Bubble gum factory. Their first day on the job, they find themselves entangled in an intergalactic plot for world domination via bubble gum.

A looney, loving send-up of classic sci-fi films like The Blob, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and The Thing (Armageddon and Night of the Living Dead even make it in there, oddly enough). The animation is 2D/hand-drawn (with the exception of the spaceship), but tends to have a digital look to it. That said, there are plenty of inspired moments of animation that impress and delight.

The score is gorgeous, featuring plenty of riffs on “The Merry Go Round Broke Down” (aka the classic Looney Tunes theme song). It sounds similar to the types of music we’d get in a classic Looney Tunes short.  The voice-acting is perfection. Our leads and even the background characters nail the classic Looney Tunes spirit. 

Eric Bauza plays both Porky Pig and Daffy Duck. You won’t be able to tell it’s the same voice actor doing both characters, and Bauza excels at each. Peter MacNicol (aka Dr. Janosz Poha/Vigo’s henchman in Ghostbusters 2) voices The Invader and is highly entertaining and perfect as well. Apparently even Wayne Knight lent his voice, though I can’t seem to find exactly who he played. There are plenty of classic Looney Tunes gags that make it into the film as well (much to my delight). 

Full disclosure: I am an unabashed Looney Tunes fan for life. I grew up with those nutty characters, and I’ve waited my whole life to see a proper adaptation on the big screen. However, every attempt seemed destined for failure from Space Jam, to Looney Tunes: Back in Action,  all the way to *gulp* Space Jam 2: A New Legacy (Nooooooo!!!!).  It felt like we were never going to get a true faithful adaptation of those Looney Toons on the big screen. Well, now we do. There are no live-action actors, it’s almost all hand-drawn 2D animation, and they chose two of the regular supporting cast to star: Daffy Duck and Porky Pig (and I know for a fact that Daffy has always yearned to headline a movie. This is literally his dream).

If you are looking for other classic Looney Tunes characters, you’ve come to the wrong place. They don’t even make cameos or background appearances. The only other Looney Tunes character that’s featured is Petunia Pig. Luckily, all that’s small potatoes when the entire film does such a perfect job of capturing the tone, style, spirit, and insanity of our beloved childhood friends.

So yes, I am INCREDIBLY biased, and I’m sure most likely won’t be as over-the-moon about this film as I am, but I’m not going to apologize for my enthusiasm. This flick is a low-key miracle. If you are a fan of the Looney Tunes,  a film nerd (especially so if you’re a sci-fi film nerd), or a lover of classic 2D hand-drawn animation, then The Day the Earth Blew Up is a gift meant for you. Buy a ticket, and enjoy the chaos.

5 STARS

THE WOLFMAN

 Even though it has become a bit more common to see a film thats parts are better than its whole, it is still a fairly rare circumstance. Unfortunately, Wolfman falls into this category.

The Wolfman borrows its title from the successful 1941 film of the same name. Even though the 2010 version tries to bill itself as a remake/update, don't be fooled. The characters may be the same and the story may be similar, but the film itself is quite different. It would help to go into the film with the idea of it being a re-imagining of the classic pic, instead of a remake.

The Wolfman follows Lawrence Talbot, a succesful American actor, as he returns to his England home to help solve the brutal murder of his brother. Inevitably, Lawrence digs too deeply into the mystery and is assaulted by a monster. He survives but finds that he too, is cursed with the burden of the monster.

The Wolfman's action scenes are freaking epic on all levels. You'll see quick shots of his claws slashing, people screaming, and heads and limbs flying apart. The Wolfman himself is one of the best incarnations I've seen in a while. Fast, Furious, and insane...he is everything a werewolf/wolfman should be. It helps that the creature design by the fantastic Rick Baker (From An American Werewolf in London fame) only helps to give the creature a more realistic look.

My favorite aspect of the film is it's creepy, tense victorian gothic setting complete with a huge dark wood, long foggy streets, and small Pub. The atmosphere set-up really helps to bring the audience into the film and adds some elements of suspense into it. I personally love how the film feels, more than any other thing about it. Imagine the Legend of Sleepy Hollow, but instead of the Headless Horseman...a Wolfman.

Unfortunately, the film itself is not as blessed as these parts. Incredibly fast-paced to the point where, even though it ups the "cool" factor, it ends up hurting the film, and the fact that the characters and their relationships are never satisfyingly fully developed only serves to bring it down more. You barely see Emily Blunt, The love story becomes background fodder, and the main crucial relationship of Lawrence and his Dad is barely given any thought at all, making the films epic climax and reveal somewhat blah.

Just about the only good characters are Sir John (Lawrence's dad) and Inspector Abberline. Anthony Hopkins acts out his role with a sinister glee that adds some charm to the film, and Hugo Weaving adds some bad-ass-ed-ness to his detective role. It's a shame that Abberline isn't seen as much as he should have been since his scenes were a joy to watch. Somehow he made his character likeable and his intentions clear, despite his lack of appearances in the film.

Overall, The Wolfman is a fairly uneven film that can't quite live up to it's highly hyped release. With a somewhat poor script, lack of character development, and underdeveloped relationships that hinder the film, it almost seemed destined for a bad rating, luckily the filmmakers managed to do something right. Even though they threw away most of what a superior film needs, they gave the audience what it essentially wanted: Fast and furious action scenes and a tense, creepy atmosphere. It makes for a fairly enjoyable film. In the end, if you're looking for a good werewolf film, I suppose you could do worse than The Wolfman.

2.5 STARS