SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: SMALLS' GOES BACK TO CAMP AT CRYSTAL LAKE

 It's been seventeen long years, but Camp Crystal Lake is FINALLY back open!! In Crystal Lake, Pamela Vorhees (Linda Cardellini) attempts to recover from the trauma of losing her beloved son, Jason (11-year-old Jason is played by Callum Vinson), in a tragic drowning incident nine months earlier. When Camp Crystal Lake is revealed to be re-opening for the summer season, Pamela begins to spiral. Meanwhile, Sheriff Levon Brooks (William Catlett) and Officer Dorfman (Cameron Scoggins) attempt to solve the mystery of two dead bodies they find in the woods. Their investigation leads them to the truth behind the origins of Pamela and Jason. 

Crystal Lake is a comfortably familiar yet bold new take on the Friday the 13th franchise. It's spearheaded by Brad Caleb Kane, who also helped write four episodes. The other writers include Evan Endicott (two episodes), Josh Stoddard (two episodes), Karl Taro Greenfeld (one episode), Laura Marks (one episode), and Jen Silverman (one episode). As for the directors, they include Logan George (co-directed three episodes), Celine Held (co-directed three episodes), Michael Lennox (two episodes), and Quyen Tran (two episodes). 

Crystal Lake is set in 1971 to 1972, a good eight or nine years before the first Friday the 13th film (Yes, this does directly contradict the canon year of Jason’s drowning, 1957, but I’m ok with the change). From the costumes by Cristina Spiridakis to the general attitudes and sensibilities of the characters to the multiple 70s cultural references, the show looks and feels authentic to the time period. The show was filmed in Jersey City, West Milford, Clifton, and Blairstown. Some parts were even filmed at Camp No-Be-Bo-Sco, the original location of Camp Crystal Lake in the first Friday the 13th movie. The town of Crystal Lake looks exactly like the town in the first two to three Friday the 13th films. Everything looks accurate to how it was in the beloved film franchise.

Familiar characters make a return including Trudy (Bernadette Quigley), Claudette (Danielle Kotch), Barry (Phoenix Parnevik), Officer Dorfman/Dorf (Cameron Scoggins), Steve Christy (Dan Thompson), John Christy (Brian J. Carter), Kay Christy (Nancy Nagrant), and Crazy Ralph (Nick Cordileone). Zachary Branch plays a very cool surprise character.  Nick Cordileone is absolutely perfect as Ralph. He looks and acts the part, and every time he is on screen is an absolute joy. Long live the GOAT!! Dorf is a mostly ineffectual and dumb deputy who has an interesting friendship with the sheriff. He shines most during the last episode. 

Linda Cardellini is fantastic and gripping as Pamela Vorhees. She doesn't get quite as many murderous or unhinged scenes as you might expect, but she sparkles every second she is on screen. Surprisingly, the stand-out of the cast might be William Catlett as Sheriff Levon Brooks. Brooks gets a good backstory and has numerous funny one-liners. His character arc is very engaging and interesting and he’s an all-around lovable character.

Gwendolyn Sundstrom plays Grace, Jason’s best friend. She gets a good deal of meat to chew on and an interesting and unexpected character arc. Drew Scheid (aka Oscar from Halloween 2018) plays a minor role as Shutterbug, a camera-loving member of a hippie group. He plays his role very well and is not annoying like he was in Halloween 2018. Hamish Linklater plays Elias Wittering, a threatening and mysterious man from Pamela's past. As per usual, he does a fantastic job and his character is multi-layered. 

Crystal Lake is trying to act as a prequel to the first Friday the 13th film and an origin story for the characters of Pamela and Jason Vorhees. The origin aspect likely has some fans worried, and for good reason. Normally, it's best to leave things unexplained instead of trying to shoe-horn in an explanation. Luckily, the exploration of Jason's origins actually work. I agree that the origin and explanation are unneeded, but the answers they cook up actually make sense and fit with what we know about Jason and have witnessed him do. I'd actually accept the explanation here as canon (Not saying I consider the answers to be canon, but if I were asked to accept them as such, I would). 

Those walking in to Crystal Lake expecting bloodshed and murder won't get much of what they are looking for. There are some deaths and mutilations, but these are few and far between. When they occur, they are of quality and are satisfying, but that's not what Crystal Lake is most interested in. This is a drama and a mystery first and foremost (Shouldn't be surprising since this is an A24 production). Those hoping for some Jason action...well, I'm not going to spoil anything. All I'll say is you'll have to tune in to find out.

Crystal Lake likely isn't what most are expecting or want. After close to two decades of absence, people want Jason. This series is focused squarely on Pamela Vorhees, which might perturb some. There is some satisfying, impressive, and well-done bloodshed sprinkled sparingly throughout, but the majority of this series is following Pamela's dark spiral, exploring her character, and uncovering her past. In case you forgot, most of the first Friday the 13th was just camp shenanigans, so the minimal deaths really didn't bother me. 

The drama, mystery, and story for Crystal Lake are all very well done. This series won't be to everyone's tastes, but what it does, it does incredibly well. While it's not a perfect series, it's still mostly great.  It all adds up to an immensely entertaining, fun, engrossing, and occasionally bloody good time at camp.  Hopefully if this series does well we can get more of Jason doing his thing in the future. 

4 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: DON'T TAKE CARRIE 2026 TO THE PROM

SPOILERS!!!!

What starts out as a 4 star show for the first 3 to 4 episodes, ends as a 2 star show by the last. The entire cast gives strong performances (except Thalia Dudek as Emmaline, fuck that c**t…Emmaline, not Thalia), and the editing is exceptional at times. As far as adaptations go, this series gets some things right (really appreciate that they destroy the entire town at the end like the novel does), but a whole lot wrong (like never allowing Carrie to be a monster, even during her climactic murder spree they give her an easy out as she’s allowing Emmaline to “take the wheel”).

So much is added in order to make this into a series that by the end it barely feels like Carrie any more. From a coven that the show insists is a force for good even though the results say otherwise, to a vicious instagram account run by Chris Hargensen, to Margaret White starting a SJW crusade (yes, really), and more. This series wants to bring Carrie into the modern day, making the whole thing about how impossible it is to be a teen these days. Unfortunately, the effort is wasted. Flanagan usually is the best when it comes to adapting Stephen King, but he strikes out big time here. Carrie 2026 is easily the worst adaptation of the source material so far.

2 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA

 “This is your place.”

“Now if it gets too real, you can always turn it off.”

“Let’s do it. Let’s make a movie.”

Miasma- an oppressive or unpleasant atmosphere which surrounds or emanates from something.

In Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma , we follow Kris Williams (Hannah Einbinder), a young gender-fluid filmmaker who has been tasked with crafting a remake/lega-sequel/reboot of the undead 80s slasher franchise, Camp Miasma (a horror film hybrid of Sleepaway Camp and Friday the 13th with a killer named Little Death, a clear reference to climaxing). A mega fan of the franchise, Kris struggles to find her own unique take on the project.  She travels to the location used for the titular camp in the movies, Camp Tivoli, now owned by the original film’s starring actress Billy Presley.

Billy has turned into a Norma Desmond-esque recluse who is obsessed with the first film and spends her free time painting and drawing. Kris aims to talk to Billy, whom she wants to appear in her film, and hopefully find some creative inspiration. As the two form an intense relationship, Kris finds herself delving deep into her own psyche, unlocking trauma, desire, and repression along the way. 

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is queer wunderkind Jane Schoenbrun’s latest filmic fantasy. They use a filmic language to convey emotions and themes throughout. Schoenbrun is a long-time fan of the horror genre, something they fearlessly make known by lovingly sprinkling their film with references and deep cuts to horror films of the past. Some could argue Teenage Sex and Death relies a little too heavily on the references, but luckily Jane has more on their mind here. They explore the interconnectedness of sex and violence in horror films, the modern horror movie landscape, the relationship between queerness and horror movies, the prevalence of meta-textual commentary in the horror pictures of today, the melding of real life and movies that occurs for many super-fans of film, horror audiences’ subconscious wants and desires, and so much more.

As per usual, Schoenbrun writes and directs with passion and enthusiasm. They continue to display a very unique and personal voice you don’t see very often. They remain a true generational talent. The multiple needle drops featured here help to establish a sense of tone and place that, much like in ‘I Saw the TV Glow’, draws the viewer in and places them under Schoenbrun’s spell. Eric Yue is cinematographer and consistently wows with his visuals. The film often looks like our leads have stepped foot into a painting. Matt Hyland and Brandon Tonner share production designer duties and craft backgrounds, landscapes, and sets that look gorgeously fake and perfectly filmic. The editing by Graham Mason is stellar as well.

Hannah Einbinder makes for a very cute and likable lead as Kris, whom most horror fans will likely be able to relate to. It’s easy to get invested in Kris’ journey as she struggles to create her own unique film while dodging studio interference and the demands of her agent, fellow creatives, and actors. Gillian Anderson (affecting a classic, filmic, transatlantic accent), however, is the real star here as Billy. She makes her character kooky and unpredictable, keeping audiences on their toes as to what she will do next, the secrets she may or may not be hiding, and her motivations. Anderson easily commands the screen, and when she’s on it’s hard to tear your eyes away from her.

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is another hypnotic and transportive movie from Jane Schoenbrun. Don’t expect your typical horror film as this is more about Kris’ psyche than following a slasher-killer. It’s very talkative and cerebral, and is painfully unique, original, and fearless. It’s quite unlike any movie I’ve seen this year so far and will likely remain that way. Schoenbrun makes exactly the movie they want to make. There are quite a few unexpected and out-there scenes throughout (such as an extended portion where we get to watch a good deal of the original Camp Miasma with our leads). Did I mention this film is also fun and cool as hell? The bigger a fan of horror you are, the more likely it is you will enjoy this wild, weird, and meaningful little flick (same goes double if you’re queer).

4.5 STARS

SMALLS TAKES A TRIP TO FORGOTTEN ISLAND

In Forgotten Island, best friends Jo and Raissa are graduating high school in the Philippines. Their friendship threatens to unravel when Raissa decides to go to CALTECH for college. During their last night out a mysterious portal opens, transporting them both to Nakali, the Forgotten Island. They'll have to find a way back to the mortal realm if Raissa is going to make it on time to her flight to California.

Forgotten Island is over-flowing with stunning, unique, wildly creative, and highly stylistic visuals. Literally one of the most gorgeous films you’ll see this year. This is one film that was tailor made for 3-D and when viewed in this format, the results do not disappoint. Our leads are a lot of fun to spend time with. H.E.R voices  Jo and Liza Soberano voices Raissa, our BFFs and protagonists. They have fantastic chemistry and are believable as life-long buddies. 

Dave Franco voices Raww, a were-aspin (or were-dog) whom is hated pretty much all across the titular island due to his antics. Manny Jacinto voices Bungi, a Tiyanak (a mythical big baby demon) who befriends our leads. Kevin McCann voices Prince Mermahn, a hot Kataw (a Merman) whom has some issues with telling the truth. There’s also Jenny Slate as Batiba, a Batibat (another demon) who offers to help our friends but for a steep price. As for villains, Lea Salonga voices Manang, a terrifying Manananggal (a winged demon) who is on the hunt for Jo and Raissa after they stole her wings. 

There isn’t a whole lot of plot as the majority of the film follows our leads as they traverse the island in search of a magical sand dollar that will transport them back home. The first act sets up the story concerning two friends who might be growing apart, the second act detours into an action-adventure-fantasy, and the third act returns to the story and brings it all home. The last act low-key turns into Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (a welcome and delightful surprise). Forgotten Island introduces mass audiences to the rich and colorful folklore and culture of the Philippines. There are also strong messages involving the power and importance of memories and friendship. 

Joel Crawford and Januel P. Mercado, the directors of the phenomenal Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, are in the director’s seats for Forgotten Island. On full display is their charming ADHD brand of humor, innovative and eclectic style, and strong beating  heart at the core of it all. They’ve crafted another winner. Forgotten Island is absolutely another one of the best films of 2026.

4.5 STARS

PRIMETIME INVITES YOU TO HAVE A SEAT

 “Hello, I’m Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. I’m calling because your machine stole something from me.”

Watch the rise and fall of Chris Hansen (Robert Pattinson) and To Catch A Predator. This film is unsettling, uncomfortable, unexpectedly funny, and deeply disturbing. It acts as a deep, probing examination of To Catch A Predator and Chris Hansen. Jonathan Lipnicki, Alex Winters, Anna Farris, and Tony Revolori are all great in surprise roles. 

Skyler Gisondo is magnificent as Dan Plumb, the newest decoy for To Catch A Predator. He starts out naive and excited, accepting the role only as a way to hopefully secure an SAG card. As his time with the show continues, we watch him grow jaded and cynical as he begins to question the ethics of the production. Merritt Wever is also great and compelling as Andie Bender, a producer for To Catch A Predator who winds up questioning the ethics and methods of the show as well. 

Robert Pattinson is absolutely superb as Chris Hansen. Hansen is not portrayed so much as a villain (an antagonist, sure!) but more as an insecure, narcissistic, egotistical, self-deluded, and deeply flawed man who sees himself as an avenging angel of sorts. He seems to believe he is doing good and yearns to be a legitimate, respected journalist. Despite his protestations to the opposite, he’s really only in this for fame, fortune, and self-publicity/self-promotion. 

Pattinson completely nails Hansen’s vocal inflections, manner of speaking, unique accent, and way he carries himself. Much like the real Hansen, Pattinson is darkly charismatic. He dominates the screen whenever he’s on and is impossible to take your eyes off of. Expect him to land an Oscar nomination this year. 

Documentarian Lance Oppenheim writes and directs, doing both with ease, confidence, and finesse. David Bolan handles cinematography and Daniel Garber handles editing duties. Due to their hard work, Primetime can look downright transcendent and hypnotic at the best of times, but often has a tactile VHS grain.

Primetime aims to be the modern day Network. It might just succeed in its goal (I’m still undecided as far as how successful Primetime is at this). Primetime invites audiences to self-reflect on the unethical craze of To Catch A Predator and the roles we all played in choosing to eagerly and excitedly devour what it was feeding us.  The end product will likely leave most deeply shaken.

4 STARS

SMALLS FRIGHT FEST: IT ENDS

In It Ends, best friends James (Phineas Yoon), Day (Akira Jackson), Fisher (Noah Toth),  and Tyler (Mitchell Cole) are youths in their 20s living their lives and having fun while doing so. While on a trip, they find themselves trapped on an endless road in the middle of a forest with no means of escape. They can’t turn back, they can’t stop, all they can do is keep driving forward. As the days tick slowly on, they each try to make sense of their lives, figure out what the road is, why they are there, and contemplate if they will ever find a way out of the forest and off the road. 

It Ends is the directorial debut of Alexander Ullom, who also edits and pens the screenplays for the film. He does a very impressive job inall of his roles. It Ends is more freaky and surreal than scary, but this isn’t the focus of the movie. Instead, what It Ends is really about is life in your 20s, the struggles you encounter during this time (including emotional ennui), the questions you grapple with, and the realizations you come to about life and the world at large. This is existential horror at some of its best and most meaningful.

The cinematography is handled by Evan Draper and Jazleana Jones. This is both of their first times working as cinematographer on a full-length feature, and they do a superb job. The road and forest our characters are trapped on and in is gorgeous and the numerous car POVs are impressive and creative. The multiple shots of the road and trees zooming by become surreal and hypnotic. Early on, while the trees speed past it looks like they are spinning in circles despite moving in one direction. The shots of the road whizzing by are so surprisingly colorful and close-up that it can almost look like strands of time flying past instead of a gravel road. 

Our core four protagonists excel in their roles. They each put on strong, solid, emotionally impactful performances. Not one stands out more than the others (Though Noah Toth is mighty cute). They work well together, share great chemistry with each other, and are genuinely believable as friends. The entire film takes place within the claustrophobic confines of their car so the film has to really rely on our leads to carry the proceedings. It’s a task they are more than up to. While certain events do occur, most of the movie is conversations between our leads and these are fairly thought-provoking and interesting. 

It Ends is heavy, depressing, and downbeat.  The proceedings can often feel hopeless for our leads. Luckily, there is a small shred of light at the end of the tunnel.  The ultimate message is surprisingly meaningful, happy, and confirms there is some hope despite the doom and gloom.

It Ends is one hell of an impressive debut for first-timer Alexander Ullom. It could make for a nice calling card for the director. The proceedings should be relatable for anyone in their 20s or 30s. There is a lot the film has to say, all of it meaningful and poignant. With plenty of heart, strong characters, and cerebral themes, It Ends easily emerges as one of the best films of 2026.

5 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: RESIDENT EVIL

 In Resident Evil, we follow lowly medical courier Bryan (Austin Abrams) as he’s given the seemingly simple task of transporting a valuable medical item to Raccoon City General Hospital. Unfortunately for poor Bryan, his task will take him through literal hell. Raccoon City is dealing with a deadly viral outbreak that turns the infected into terrible monstrosities. Bryan is challenged in unforeseeable ways as he will have to find a way to defend himself and protect his precious cargo during his increasingly dangerous journey.

Zach Cregger had one aim in making his take on the Resident Evil franchise: Recreate the experience of playing one of the games. He excels in his task. Watching Resident Evil is like watching a newcomer to the Resident Evil games or survival horror do a play-through. For anyone who has ever played a Resident Evil game, Cregger’s take is very entertaining, funny, and relatable. There isn’t much meat on this film. It’s pretty straight-forward as Bryan is, for all extents and purposes, the sole character in the movie. The plot is basic and simple.

Austin Abrams is superb as Bryan. Bryan is a lovable idiot and a loser. The little meat there is to this adaptation comes from his backstory. Bryan’s girlfriend, Michelle, has just found out she is pregnant. Unfortunately for her, Bryan is afraid of change. His trek through Raccoon City brings him face-to-face with rapidly changing infected. In short: Bryan’s journey is metaphorically forcing him to confront and contend with his fear of change.

It is highly entertaining to watch Bryan’s reactions to each new threat and impossible situation. It’s unfortunate, then, that he never really gets better at playing this game. He continually makes terrible decisions and costly mistakes throughout. While playing any of the Resident Evil games, you inevitably adapt and get better at defending yourself, making choices, and surviving. Not so for Bryan. He’s an idiot at the start of the film and is still an idiot by the time the end credits roll. That’s not to say he doesn’t experience some character growth and transformation, but it’s still a little frustrating to never see him fully get a handle on the art of how to survive this fresh new hell.

As previously stated, despite his flaws, Bryan is a very likable, relatable, and empathetic character. It's immense fun to watch how he deals with each escalating situation. The film is mostly accurate to the Resident Evil games. The lore presented is a tad bit spotty, but the monsters and environments feel like ones you might encounter during a play-through.

There are some Easter eggs not-so-hidden within this movie that eagle eyed long-time fans should immediately recognize. There are two notable monsters that feel like ones found in Left 4 Dead, which might upset some but I found to be thoroughly enjoyable. There’s also a scene in the first act that will likely remind most of John Carpenter’s The Thing.There are some recognizable actors in surprise roles and certain elements from the Resident Evil games make an appearance as well. Most of the effects are CGI, though practical effects are occasionally used during the third act.

The cinematography by Dariusz Wolsky is cool and fun. Resident Evil utilizes POV shots at times to mimic the first-person perspective of some of the games. Each instance of this is used to great effect and works exceptionally well. The score by Hays Holladay, Ryan Holladay, and Hays Ryan Holladay is minimalist, synth-y, and effective. It often matches the beats of the film, to the point where it can often feel like the film itself or the characters within it are moving to the rhythm of the score. The Holladay triplets previously worked with Cregger on Weapons, and I’d say the score for RE is the superior one. It’s easily worth a purchase or download.

Resident Evil doesn’t suffer from many issues. As I said earlier it is a fairly sparse tale with little meat on the bone. The film essentially throws audiences directly into the action. Here’s your main character, here’s his mission, aaaaaannnddd...GO! My biggest issue with the movie is the way it ends, which I absolutely hated. Without going into spoilers, I can understand why Cregger and co-writer Shay Hatten chose to go the unconventional route, but it doesn’t make the end result any less frustrating and disappointing.

Resident Evil garnered much backlash from “fans” after the first trailer was released. I can confidentially say these “fans” were wrong. While Cregger’s Resident Evil is far from a perfect adaptation of the beloved property, what it does well it does extremely well. It’s also often incredibly tense and scary (and surprisingly funny). Despite my opinions on the ending, this is easily the best Resident Evil movie we’ve received, and real fans should be grateful for Cregger’s gift.

4 STARS