SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: LATE REVIEW FOR EVIL DEAD BURN

 Evil runs in the family.

Alice (Souheila Yacoub) and Will (George Pullar) are unhappily married. Will has a cruel rage that is often directed at her. When Will dies by Deadite, Alice is invited to a family get together in his memory by Will's kind but cowardly brother, Joe (Hunter Doohan), who aspires to be a writer. While at the family home, Alice has to reluctantly rub elbows with matriarch Susan (Tandi Wright), Joe's girlfriend Thya (Lucianne Buchanan), rage-a-holic patriarch Edgar (Erroll Shand ), and Alzheimer's ridden grandma Polly (Maude Davey). 

Unfortunately for Alice, everyone gathered there hates her (except for Joe and Thya) and she knows it. When Joe's research for his first book unearths his family's connection to the Deadites, he uncovers a dagger that can stop them. Sensing their Kryptonite has been discovered, the Deadites lay siege to the house, possessing and mutilating anyone who stands in their way. Their mission: destroy the dagger at any cost.

Sébestien Vanicek directs this latest outing in the Evil Dead franchise and mostly does not disappoint. He co-pens the screenplay with Florent Bernard. The aim this time is to up the violence/brutality and to find a way to connect all the previous Evil Dead films together. He excels at both of these. The cinematography by Philip Lozano and editing by Maxime Caro are superb, creative, and playful as well. It’s also appreciated that fire plays a large role in the film, giving this movie the reason for its title. 

The violence this go-round is the best/worst and the most disturbing in the entire franchise. Sébestian is French, and the mutilations and deaths border on being on the same level as those found in the films of the New French Extremity. This isn’t torture porn, but the violence found here is grueling, mean, and sadistic (there is a really bad and distracting CGI effect near the end, though). Dog lovers would be wise to sit this one out. While it wasn’t exactly my cup of tea, I have to commend Vanicek for going all the way and not holding back (except for the dog murder. You wrong for that, dude). 

Another problematic aspect is the way Polly is handled. Her Alzheimer’s is often used as a punchline. While one instance of this was easily the funniest joke of the whole movie, the Alzheimer’s jokes didn’t sit well with me overall. Alzheimer’s is a serious, terrible disease. It’s no laughing matter, I would know since it runs in my family. 

The stand-outs acting wise were Souheila Yacoub as Alice, Hunter Doohan as Joe, Lucianne Buchanan as Thya, and Erroll Shand as Edgar. Shand as Edgar is particularly scary, even before he becomes a Deadite. His underlying rage is always bubbling under the surface, threatening to boil over. Lucian’s Buchanan most impresses as her Deadite form, where she is essentially Burn’s version of Mia from Evil Dead 2013. The way she is prepared for her Deadite possession is particularly mean and extensive as well.  

Hunter Doohan is very likable as Joe, whom is the closest we’ve gotten to Ash from the first Evil Dead in the modern day. I do love me a good coward, and Doohan plays the role exceptionally well (I would have liked more development for his role though).  Souheila Yacoub is an empathetic presence as Alice, who finds herself torn between self-preservation and feeling obligated to assist this rotten, borderline cursed family. She gets the sharp end of the knife  quite a bit here and the abuse she takes is sure to make you wince. 

There is a good deal to recommend here, but unfortunately Burn winds up feeling a bit empty by the end. Characters aren’t fully fleshed out and the plot is pretty thin. You won’t really care about most of the characters when they are in danger. Luckily all the backstory, lore, and family connections are incredibly strong and cool.

Evil Dead Burn fits nicely into the Evil Dead franchise even if it is pretty different from previous Evil Dead movies tonally. It does share some similarities with the previous entry, Evil Dead Rise. Both films deal heavily with themes of family, and in both movies you get to watch the complete and total disintegration of a family unit. This one’s purely for the fans, so if you are unfamiliar with the Evil Dead films this would not be a good place to start. 

Evil Dead Burn is a flawed film, but what it does well, it does really well. This is one of the less fun entries in the franchise (the mutilations and deaths are not fun to watch), but it’s still a mostly solid entry regardless. The focus here is on the brutality and finding connective tissue between the films, which means the plot and character development often come up lacking. That said, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love this movie. Evil Dead Burn is worth a watch if you think you have the stomach for it. This one might traumatize you.

4 STARS

SMALLS SEES EVERYTHING WITH YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING

Documentary of the decade? You Can See Everything is an intoxicating mixture of The Rehearsal and an actual documentary. The results are likely to make your head hurt (in a good way). Nathan Fielder and Lance Oppenheim are given unprecedented, full, unrestricted access to the life of Elizabeth Holmes and her boyfriend Billy Evans one month before she is to turn herself in for her 11-year federal prison sentence. 

A thoroughly engrossing and totally engaging character study of two real life villains and their relationship. There are several shocking surprises in the second half that turn this documentary into an unexpected thriller as Nathan Fielder attempts to peel back the layers of both Holmes and Evans, trying to discover the truth of it all. You Can See Everything is close to three hours long, but it’s never boring. I’m not sure what I would cut to make it shorter as not a minute is wasted. 

Lance Oppenheim and Nathan Fielder are the power duo of the year. By the end this isn’t just a portrait of an odd relationship, it’s also a documentary about documentaries. Check it out and see if you can uncover the truth for yourself!

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: SMALLS' GOES BACK TO CAMP AT CRYSTAL LAKE

 It's been seventeen long years, but Camp Crystal Lake is FINALLY back open!! In Crystal Lake, Pamela Vorhees (Linda Cardellini) attempts to recover from the trauma of losing her beloved son, Jason (11-year-old Jason is played by Callum Vinson), in a tragic drowning incident nine months earlier. When Camp Crystal Lake is revealed to be re-opening for the summer season, Pamela begins to spiral. Meanwhile, Sheriff Levon Brooks (William Catlett) and Officer Dorfman (Cameron Scoggins) attempt to solve the mystery of two dead bodies they find in the woods. Their investigation leads them to the truth behind the origins of Pamela and Jason. 

Crystal Lake is a comfortably familiar yet bold new take on the Friday the 13th franchise. It's spearheaded by Brad Caleb Kane, who also helped write four episodes. The other writers include Evan Endicott (two episodes), Josh Stoddard (two episodes), Karl Taro Greenfeld (one episode), Laura Marks (one episode), and Jen Silverman (one episode). As for the directors, they include Logan George (co-directed three episodes), Celine Held (co-directed three episodes), Michael Lennox (two episodes), and Quyen Tran (two episodes). 

Crystal Lake is set in 1971 to 1972, a good eight or nine years before the first Friday the 13th film (Yes, this does directly contradict the canon year of Jason’s drowning, 1957, but I’m ok with the change). From the costumes by Cristina Spiridakis to the general attitudes and sensibilities of the characters to the multiple 70s cultural references, the show looks and feels authentic to the time period. The show was filmed in Jersey City, West Milford, Clifton, and Blairstown. Some parts were even filmed at Camp No-Be-Bo-Sco, the original location of Camp Crystal Lake in the first Friday the 13th movie. The town of Crystal Lake looks exactly like the town in the first two to three Friday the 13th films. Everything looks accurate to how it was in the beloved film franchise.

Familiar characters make a return including Trudy (Bernadette Quigley), Claudette (Danielle Kotch), Barry (Phoenix Parnevik), Officer Dorfman/Dorf (Cameron Scoggins), Steve Christy (Dan Thompson), John Christy (Brian J. Carter), Kay Christy (Nancy Nagrant), and Crazy Ralph (Nick Cordileone). Zachary Branch plays a very cool surprise character.  Nick Cordileone is absolutely perfect as Ralph. He looks and acts the part, and every time he is on screen is an absolute joy. Long live the GOAT!! Dorf is a mostly ineffectual and dumb deputy who has an interesting friendship with the sheriff. He shines most during the last episode. 

Linda Cardellini is fantastic and gripping as Pamela Vorhees. She doesn't get quite as many murderous or unhinged scenes as you might expect, but she sparkles every second she is on screen. Surprisingly, the stand-out of the cast might be William Catlett as Sheriff Levon Brooks. Brooks gets a good backstory and has numerous funny one-liners. His character arc is very engaging and interesting and he’s an all-around lovable character.

Gwendolyn Sundstrom plays Grace, Jason’s best friend. She gets a good deal of meat to chew on and an interesting and unexpected character arc. Drew Scheid (aka Oscar from Halloween 2018) plays a minor role as Shutterbug, a camera-loving member of a hippie group. He plays his role very well and is not annoying like he was in Halloween 2018. Hamish Linklater plays Elias Wittering, a threatening and mysterious man from Pamela's past. As per usual, he does a fantastic job and his character is multi-layered. 

Crystal Lake is trying to act as a prequel to the first Friday the 13th film and an origin story for the characters of Pamela and Jason Vorhees. The origin aspect likely has some fans worried, and for good reason. Normally, it's best to leave things unexplained instead of trying to shoe-horn in an explanation. Luckily, the exploration of Jason's origins actually work. I agree that the origin and explanation are unneeded, but the answers they cook up actually make sense and fit with what we know about Jason and have witnessed him do. I'd actually accept the explanation here as canon (Not saying I consider the answers to be canon, but if I were asked to accept them as such, I would). 

Those walking in to Crystal Lake expecting bloodshed and murder won't get much of what they are looking for. There are some deaths and mutilations, but these are few and far between. When they occur, they are of quality and are satisfying, but that's not what Crystal Lake is most interested in. This is a drama and a mystery first and foremost (Shouldn't be surprising since this is an A24 production). Those hoping for some Jason action...well, I'm not going to spoil anything. All I'll say is you'll have to tune in to find out.

Crystal Lake likely isn't what most are expecting or want. After close to two decades of absence, people want Jason. This series is focused squarely on Pamela Vorhees, which might perturb some. There is some satisfying, impressive, and well-done bloodshed sprinkled sparingly throughout, but the majority of this series is following Pamela's dark spiral, exploring her character, and uncovering her past. In case you forgot, most of the first Friday the 13th was just camp shenanigans, so the minimal deaths really didn't bother me. 

The drama, mystery, and story for Crystal Lake are all very well done. This series won't be to everyone's tastes, but what it does, it does incredibly well. While it's not a perfect series, it's still mostly great.  It all adds up to an immensely entertaining, fun, engrossing, and occasionally bloody good time at camp.  Hopefully if this series does well we can get more of Jason doing his thing in the future. 

4 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: DON'T TAKE CARRIE 2026 TO THE PROM

SPOILERS!!!!

What starts out as a 4 star show for the first 3 to 4 episodes, ends as a 2 star show by the last. The entire cast gives strong performances (except Thalia Dudek as Emmaline, fuck that c**t…Emmaline, not Thalia), and the editing is exceptional at times. As far as adaptations go, this series gets some things right (really appreciate that they destroy the entire town at the end like the novel does), but a whole lot wrong (like never allowing Carrie to be a monster, even during her climactic murder spree they give her an easy out as she’s allowing Emmaline to “take the wheel”).

So much is added in order to make this into a series that by the end it barely feels like Carrie any more. From a coven that the show insists is a force for good even though the results say otherwise, to a vicious instagram account run by Chris Hargensen, to Margaret White starting a SJW crusade (yes, really), and more. This series wants to bring Carrie into the modern day, making the whole thing about how impossible it is to be a teen these days. Unfortunately, the effort is wasted. Flanagan usually is the best when it comes to adapting Stephen King, but he strikes out big time here. Carrie 2026 is easily the worst adaptation of the source material so far.

2 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA

 “This is your place.”

“Now if it gets too real, you can always turn it off.”

“Let’s do it. Let’s make a movie.”

Miasma- an oppressive or unpleasant atmosphere which surrounds or emanates from something.

In Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma , we follow Kris Williams (Hannah Einbinder), a young gender-fluid filmmaker who has been tasked with crafting a remake/lega-sequel/reboot of the undead 80s slasher franchise, Camp Miasma (a horror film hybrid of Sleepaway Camp and Friday the 13th with a killer named Little Death, a clear reference to climaxing). A mega fan of the franchise, Kris struggles to find her own unique take on the project.  She travels to the location used for the titular camp in the movies, Camp Tivoli, now owned by the original film’s starring actress Billy Presley.

Billy has turned into a Norma Desmond-esque recluse who is obsessed with the first film and spends her free time painting and drawing. Kris aims to talk to Billy, whom she wants to appear in her film, and hopefully find some creative inspiration. As the two form an intense relationship, Kris finds herself delving deep into her own psyche, unlocking trauma, desire, and repression along the way. 

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is queer wunderkind Jane Schoenbrun’s latest filmic fantasy. They use a filmic language to convey emotions and themes throughout. Schoenbrun is a long-time fan of the horror genre, something they fearlessly make known by lovingly sprinkling their film with references and deep cuts to horror films of the past. Some could argue Teenage Sex and Death relies a little too heavily on the references, but luckily Jane has more on their mind here. They explore the interconnectedness of sex and violence in horror films, the modern horror movie landscape, the relationship between queerness and horror movies, the prevalence of meta-textual commentary in the horror pictures of today, the melding of real life and movies that occurs for many super-fans of film, horror audiences’ subconscious wants and desires, and so much more.

As per usual, Schoenbrun writes and directs with passion and enthusiasm. They continue to display a very unique and personal voice you don’t see very often. They remain a true generational talent. The multiple needle drops featured here help to establish a sense of tone and place that, much like in ‘I Saw the TV Glow’, draws the viewer in and places them under Schoenbrun’s spell. Eric Yue is cinematographer and consistently wows with his visuals. The film often looks like our leads have stepped foot into a painting. Matt Hyland and Brandon Tonner share production designer duties and craft backgrounds, landscapes, and sets that look gorgeously fake and perfectly filmic. The editing by Graham Mason is stellar as well.

Hannah Einbinder makes for a very cute and likable lead as Kris, whom most horror fans will likely be able to relate to. It’s easy to get invested in Kris’ journey as she struggles to create her own unique film while dodging studio interference and the demands of her agent, fellow creatives, and actors. Gillian Anderson (affecting a classic, filmic, transatlantic accent), however, is the real star here as Billy. She makes her character kooky and unpredictable, keeping audiences on their toes as to what she will do next, the secrets she may or may not be hiding, and her motivations. Anderson easily commands the screen, and when she’s on it’s hard to tear your eyes away from her.

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is another hypnotic and transportive movie from Jane Schoenbrun. Don’t expect your typical horror film as this is more about Kris’ psyche than following a slasher-killer. It’s very talkative and cerebral, and is painfully unique, original, and fearless. It’s quite unlike any movie I’ve seen this year so far and will likely remain that way. Schoenbrun makes exactly the movie they want to make. There are quite a few unexpected and out-there scenes throughout (such as an extended portion where we get to watch a good deal of the original Camp Miasma with our leads). Did I mention this film is also fun and cool as hell? The bigger a fan of horror you are, the more likely it is you will enjoy this wild, weird, and meaningful little flick (same goes double if you’re queer).

4.5 STARS

SMALLS TAKES A TRIP TO FORGOTTEN ISLAND

In Forgotten Island, best friends Jo and Raissa are graduating high school in the Philippines. Their friendship threatens to unravel when Raissa decides to go to CALTECH for college. During their last night out a mysterious portal opens, transporting them both to Nakali, the Forgotten Island. They'll have to find a way back to the mortal realm if Raissa is going to make it on time to her flight to California.

Forgotten Island is over-flowing with stunning, unique, wildly creative, and highly stylistic visuals. Literally one of the most gorgeous films you’ll see this year. This is one film that was tailor made for 3-D and when viewed in this format, the results do not disappoint. Our leads are a lot of fun to spend time with. H.E.R voices  Jo and Liza Soberano voices Raissa, our BFFs and protagonists. They have fantastic chemistry and are believable as life-long buddies. 

Dave Franco voices Raww, a were-aspin (or were-dog) whom is hated pretty much all across the titular island due to his antics. Manny Jacinto voices Bungi, a Tiyanak (a mythical big baby demon) who befriends our leads. Kevin McCann voices Prince Mermahn, a hot Kataw (a Merman) whom has some issues with telling the truth. There’s also Jenny Slate as Batiba, a Batibat (another demon) who offers to help our friends but for a steep price. As for villains, Lea Salonga voices Manang, a terrifying Manananggal (a winged demon) who is on the hunt for Jo and Raissa after they stole her wings. 

There isn’t a whole lot of plot as the majority of the film follows our leads as they traverse the island in search of a magical sand dollar that will transport them back home. The first act sets up the story concerning two friends who might be growing apart, the second act detours into an action-adventure-fantasy, and the third act returns to the story and brings it all home. The last act low-key turns into Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (a welcome and delightful surprise). Forgotten Island introduces mass audiences to the rich and colorful folklore and culture of the Philippines. There are also strong messages involving the power and importance of memories and friendship. 

Joel Crawford and Januel P. Mercado, the directors of the phenomenal Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, are in the director’s seats for Forgotten Island. On full display is their charming ADHD brand of humor, innovative and eclectic style, and strong beating  heart at the core of it all. They’ve crafted another winner. Forgotten Island is absolutely another one of the best films of 2026.

4.5 STARS

PRIMETIME INVITES YOU TO HAVE A SEAT

 “Hello, I’m Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. I’m calling because your machine stole something from me.”

Watch the rise and fall of Chris Hansen (Robert Pattinson) and To Catch A Predator. This film is unsettling, uncomfortable, unexpectedly funny, and deeply disturbing. It acts as a deep, probing examination of To Catch A Predator and Chris Hansen. Jonathan Lipnicki, Alex Winters, Anna Farris, and Tony Revolori are all great in surprise roles. 

Skyler Gisondo is magnificent as Dan Plumb, the newest decoy for To Catch A Predator. He starts out naive and excited, accepting the role only as a way to hopefully secure an SAG card. As his time with the show continues, we watch him grow jaded and cynical as he begins to question the ethics of the production. Merritt Wever is also great and compelling as Andie Bender, a producer for To Catch A Predator who winds up questioning the ethics and methods of the show as well. 

Robert Pattinson is absolutely superb as Chris Hansen. Hansen is not portrayed so much as a villain (an antagonist, sure!) but more as an insecure, narcissistic, egotistical, self-deluded, and deeply flawed man who sees himself as an avenging angel of sorts. He seems to believe he is doing good and yearns to be a legitimate, respected journalist. Despite his protestations to the opposite, he’s really only in this for fame, fortune, and self-publicity/self-promotion. 

Pattinson completely nails Hansen’s vocal inflections, manner of speaking, unique accent, and way he carries himself. Much like the real Hansen, Pattinson is darkly charismatic. He dominates the screen whenever he’s on and is impossible to take your eyes off of. Expect him to land an Oscar nomination this year. 

Documentarian Lance Oppenheim writes and directs, doing both with ease, confidence, and finesse. David Bolan handles cinematography and Daniel Garber handles editing duties. Due to their hard work, Primetime can look downright transcendent and hypnotic at the best of times, but often has a tactile VHS grain.

Primetime aims to be the modern day Network. It might just succeed in its goal (I’m still undecided as far as how successful Primetime is at this). Primetime invites audiences to self-reflect on the unethical craze of To Catch A Predator and the roles we all played in choosing to eagerly and excitedly devour what it was feeding us.  The end product will likely leave most deeply shaken.

4 STARS