LET'S TALK ABOUT THE OSCARS

 Let's chat about some of the Oscar wins/losses.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Thrilled to see Amy Madigan win this. An incredibly deserved win and a fantastic start to the night. What an acceptance speech as well!

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: Mr. Nobody Against Putin won this one, and it's definitely a doc I would like to see. The acceptance speech was an all-timer.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: KPop Demon Hunters won. Total slop won. So disappointing. This is the only other animated film this year I was unable to finish. I get what it's going for, but so many other films have tackled the same exact themes and messages in such a profound, better, and more meaningful way. Just a very basic film and a disappointing choice. Let's be real, the only reason this won was for Korean representation. Also really funny when one of the winners said something about how this is for everyone who never thought they'd see people that look like them on screen. Like, A. This is an ANIMATED film. B. Have you seriously never heard of Crazy Rich Asians, Crazy Rich Asians 2, Parasite, etc? Seriously, shut the fuck up.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG: Golden won this, undeservedly so. You can't look me in the eye and tell me this basic-ass song from a basic-ass film was better than 'I Lied to You'. Once again, the ONLY reason this won is because of KPop representation (as in the music genre, not the film). 

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Sean Penn nabbed the win, but I'm not upset about it. He played the best villain of last year. Just wish he was a better sport about the whole thing. Penn didn't even have the decency to make an appearance at any of the awards shows, including the Oscars. What an asshole.

BEST DIRECTOR: Paul Thomas Anderson is finally recognized for the talent that he is. He wasn't my personal pick, but that doesn't change the fact that this was a long time coming. A very well-deserved win.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: ^ ^ ^ ^  See above  ^ ^ ^ ^

BEST INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM: Sentimental Value finally gets its flowers. Certainly not the most important, pertinent, or timely film in the category but absolutely the best. Consider me happy.

BEST ACTOR: And now we arrive at the biggest controversy of the night - Michael B. Jordan winning Best Actor. Oh boy, where do I start. Michael, I'm going to let you finish, but my boy Timothee Chalamet was the best leading male performance last year. Let's count the reasons why MBJ won... 1. Timothee kept saying stupid, controversial ish during the press rounds. 2. MBJ played two roles in one film (unconvincingly, if you ask me. I had trouble telling the two apart most of the time). 3. MBJ is black. Yeah, I said it. His skin color was absolutely one of the deciding factors that went into him winning the award. I don't mean to sound racist, but the truth is the truth. Decades (if not shorter than that) later, we're all going to look back at this win and be pissed. The most undeserved and unearned win of the night. I'm so sorry, Chalamet. The Oscars did you dirty. What a bunch of stupid fucking assholes.

BEST PICTURE: One Battle After Another wins. At least The Academy got this award correct. Lots of people pissed that Sinners lost (seems to be mostly black people. Gosh, I wonder why?), but OBAA really is the superior movie. Sinners was a phenomenal, fantastic movie but OBAA was the better of the two. Plus, it was more timely and pertinent to what's going on in our world right now. 

I have to mention Javier Bardem going on to announce Best International Feature Film and refusing to mince words. Right out the gate, wasting zero time, he says: "No more wars. Free Palestine." So fucking cool. A+

Kumail Nanjiani wins for best presenter speech. He presented the award for Best Live Action Short Film and had one of the rare hilarious bits. His whole schtick was about how films are too long, and he came up with ideas for titles for shorter films, for example: One Battle After Another would be One Battle. "You just get one." Hilarious stuff. Even funnier when the award was a tie, leading Nanjiani to quip that it's ironic that Live Action Short Film is going to be twice as long. Maybe he should be the host for next year?

The Bridesmaid reunion was a bit much, but Melissa McCarthy managed to mostly salvage it with some superior comedic timing and genuinely funny bits. 

Conan was a great host as usual. His opening and closing skits were absolute all-timers. Seeing him become Aunt Gladys and then be disposed of Sean Penn style after the show was over was freaking hilarious.