RETRO REVIEW: THE ELEPHANT MAN

 “YOU’RE THE MONSTER! YOU’RE THE FREAK!!!”

“You’re not an elephant man. You’re Romeo.”

“I AM NOT AN ELEPHANT!!!! I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!! I AM A HUMAN BEING!!!”

Based on a true story: 21 year old John Merrick has lived a life of cruelty and hardship as a traveling sideshow freak due to an unfortunate and incurable deformity. Dr. Frederick Treves, a surgeon, stumbles upon him and chooses to befriend the poor soul. Treves rescues him, giving Merrick a home at his hospital and showing him the first bits of human kindness and empathy John has ever known. This institutes an inner transformation for Merrick, who begins to see himself as a man for the first time ever. However, as more of high society line up to meet him, uncomfortable questions arise: Has John traded one circus for another?  Is Treves just a kinder version of John’s initial, abusive owner?

A beautiful, magnificent, deeply moving and deeply affecting film of pure empathy. John Hurt and Anthony Hopkins deliver stellar, heartfelt, and human performances as our leads. Freddie Jones as Bytes and Michael Elphick as Jim Rashad are monstrous and easy to hate as our antagonists. Anne Bancroft as Madge Kendal, a notorious stage actress, and Hannah Gordon as Ann Treves, wife of Frederick are kind, soft, and tender as women that grow to care about John.

The screenplay by Christopher De Vore, Eric Bergen, and David Lynch fill the proceedings with a great deal of humanity, tragedy, and warmth. The Elephant Man might be the most straight-forward film David Lynch has made. For my money, it’s also his best. Lynch gets it. Bring plenty of tissues.

5 STARS

PSYCHO KILLER SLASHES IT'S WAY TO FAILURE

 In Psycho Killer, Kansas Highway Patrol agent Jane Archer (Georgina Campbell) hunts down a satanic serial killer (James Preston Rogers) after she witnesses him murder her husband, a fellow Highway Patrol agent. Desperate to prevent more senseless deaths, Jane tracks the killer and in the process realizes that he has much bigger plans than random acts of violence. As each murder brings him closer to his ultimate goal, Jane finds herself continually one step behind the talented psycho. Will Jane be able to stop him before he can enact his grand finale?

So much wasted potential. The threadbare screenplay feels more like an outline and desperately needed a few more passes or re-writes to beef up the characters and lore. Seven scribe Andrew Kevin Walker penned the screenplay. He also penned Sleepy Hollow, 8MM, and The Killer and co-wrote Windfall and The Wolfman. The first draft of the screenplay was finished in 2007 and his second draft was completed in 2008.

It’s admittedly a different take to make a “detective procedural” from the pov of the killer. Unfirtunately, our psycho killer (dubbed the Satanic Slasher, played by James Preston Rogers) is a deeply silly character. He wears silly sunglasses, has a silly little mask, and speaks with a silly ultra-deep voice that sounds like he’s speaking through a voice changer. I’d bet all of his lines are dubbed. He gets no motivation, and the explanation of who he is is barely explained.

We never get a good look into the Satanic Slasher’s  psyche or what makes him tick besides the movie explicitly stating that he is an insane Satanist. There are tiny breadcrumbs in the film that hint at who the Satanic Slasher is and how he got here, but the audience has to put the pieces together for themselves after the film has ended. The quick news report in the 13th hour that briefly exposes his identity plays like serious whiplash. Georgina Campbell is great and compelling, despite being given essentially nothing to work with. The cinematography by Magnus Nordenhof Jønck is pretty, even if the locations and sets are bare bones.

This is director Gavin Polone’s first feature film (He was attached to direct since 2010), and it shows. His work as director here feels absolutely absent. He’s got no presence. Psycho Killer wants to be taken seriously. It wants to be dark and cool, but is woefully unaware of just how silly it really is. If the screenplay had been worked on a significant amount more, this could have been interesting. There was definite potential here. Unfortunately, as is, Psycho Killer is an under-developed nothing-burger.

2 STARS

HOKUM BRINGS THE SPOOKY

 In Hokum, we follow Ohm Bowman (Adam Scott), a depressed, alcoholic writer with an attitude issue. He travels from America to Ireland to spread his parent’s ashes, staying at their honeymoon spot while there. Ohm eventually becomes personally invested in a local mystery, deciding to investigate on his own. He winds up trapped in the hotel’s honeymoon suite where he will have to survive a litany of terrors if he’s going to make it out alive. 

Adam Scott is compelling and interesting as our leading man, Ohm. Scott deftly mixes humor and pathos to an effective degree. Ohm makes for an engaging lead despite his overall sour personality, and it’s fun to follow him on his personal quest. Ohm isn’t just an audience stand-in as he is a fully developed character with layers.

The stand-outs of the supporting cast are David Wilmot as Jerry, Will O’Connell as Alby the bellhop and Jack the Jackass, and Florence Ordesh as Fiona. Fiona is a kind, friendly bartender whom Ohm warms up to and befriends. She ends up coming in for the clutch a few times when Ohm needs help. Jerry is a strange hermit who enjoys ‘Shrooms and winds up investigating the mystery alongside Ohm. Jerry is low-key the GOAT. Alby is a dejected bellhop who seeks approval from Ohm, and Jack the Jackass is the scary host of a kids tv show. The cast cobbled together for Hokum is strong and likable, each character adding something different to the proceedings. 

Damien McCarthy writes and directs. He previously wrote and directed Caveat and Oddity. While Oddity is more consistently creepy and scary than Hokum, the atmosphere crafted here is still rich, tense, and freaky. McCarthy took clear inspiration from 1408 and The Shining, sprinkling a little bit of Irish folklore on top and adding his own personal flavor to the mix. While there are a good deal of jump scares throughout (most of which fall flat), there is one genuinely terrifying sequence in the third act. 

The strongest aspects of Hokum aren’t the scares, but its rich and satisfying story, and the consistently tense and creepy atmosphere. This is another winner for McCarthy. Check in to the Bilberry Hotel, ask for the Honeymoon Suite. A scary, sad, and surprisingly heartwarming time awaits.

4 STARS

MICHAEL ATTEMPTS TO MOONWALK

Undeniably entertaining but you can definitely tell there is a better film screaming to claw its way out. The original cut likely was going to focus a lot more on MJ’s inability to grow up and how that affected the man he would become and the crimes against children he would go on to commit. Unfortunately, once the Jackson estate got involved all that went out the window. Instead, we have a film that “plays the hits” and doesn’t offer up any new insights or information about the God of pop (the film doesn’t even really delve into how MJ came up with the ideas for some of his songs). 

If you are a long-time fan of MJ’s, you’ve seen all this before. This version zeroes in on MJ’s attempts to free himself from under the oppressive thumb of his controlling and abusive father and culminates/ends with Jackson releasing Bad. Joseph Jackson is played as a one-note sneering villain by the normally talented Colman Domingo. Joseph might as well come with his own “BOO!” sign.

Jaafar Jackson (Son of Jermaine Jackson. MJ was his paternal uncle) steps into the moonwalking shoes of Jackson with ease and finesse. Jaafar channels the spirit of his late uncle. He nails MJ’s voice and dance moves to perfection. He even looks like him once he loses the afro for a perm. After a bit, you forget you aren’t watching the real MJ.

Juliano Valdi shines as well as young MJ. Much like Jaafar, he nails young MJ’s look, voice, and dance moves. Miles Teller is a welcome and likable presence as John Branca, a record exec who assists MJ throughout. Mike Meyers makes a surprise appearance as Walter Yetnikoff, president of CBS records, and is entertaining in his one scene.

Antoine Fuqua directs and does a solid job. Dione Beebe is in charge of cinematography. Conrad Buff IV, Tom Cross, John Ottman, and Harry Yoon handle editing duties. Michael looks sleek, sharp, and shiny with some concert, music video/short film, and on-stage moments impressing mightily. This film looks good!

Michael works best as a concert film, which it eventually turns into during the second and third acts. It’s hard not to have fun watching Jaafar as MJ sing and strut his way across the screen (and it’s very cool to watch part of Thriller on the big screen. They even seem to have used the actual iconic filming location from the music video/short film). MJ was a multi-layered and complex person, so it’s disappointing that this film opts for a mostly surface level representation of the God of Pop. 

Scenes from the original cut manage to sneak their way in, but only serve to remind audiences of the much-better film we could have gotten. As is, the scenes with MJ fixating on childhood items and films exist as an afterthought. The next movie (if it’s released) might delve deeper than Michael chooses to, but with the Jackson Estate in control, it’s hard to have much hope. Michael is a highly entertaining reminder of the immense, once-in-a-lifetime talent MJ was. It certainly could have been great, but as it stands it’s your typical biopic of a musician. See it for the concert and music video/short film scenes (of which there are many).

3 STARS

2025 CATCH-UP : FLIGHT RISK

What a baffling movie. A fun concept and a good cast is grounded by a terrible screenplay (Jared Rosenberg) and atrocious direction (The once talented Mel Gibson). Michele Dockery and Mark Whalberg attempt to carry the proceedings, but fail. Dockery’s Madelyn Harris is given a tiny bit of backstory and pathos in an attempt to add gravitas to her character and stakes to her mission. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work as we are given very little reason to care about her (or any other) character. 

Mark Whalberg (with a very unfortunate balding hair line) tries to keep things fun, but also fails mostly due to him being a generally terrible and non-threatening hitman. He spends the majority of the runtime handcuffed or subdued by our leads. His abundance of terrible sexual threats/jokes grow stale and tiresome fast. 

Topher Grace struggles as Winston, a mafia accountant turned informant who acts as the unfunny and annoying comedic relief wet noodle. He is mostly useless except in one brief pivotal moment. There are attempts at humor that completely fall flat due to terrible comedic timing or misreadings of lines. 

There are also parts that are painfully cringe, like another pilot who is called to assist and almost immediately asks Madelyn out on a date, she happily accepts, then he playfully flirts with her for the rest of his scenes. I never would have guessed Mel Gibson was the man in the pilot’s seat. This could have been a fun B movie, but Mel Gibson steers course towards psychological thriller and winds up crashing his plane as a result. There’s hard to feel any tension when the big bad is handcuffed in the back for the majority of the film while our protagonists mostly ignore or disregard him and talk to each other/to FBI headquarters (there’s an uninteresting sub-plot involving a mole in the agency)/to the other pilot. They don’t appear to think of him as much of a threat, so why should we? 

Unfortunately, Flight Risk is a fairly dull and boring trip where very little of interest or import occurs during our time in the skies. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. This does not bode well for Passion of the Christ 2 or any future Mel Gibson helmed films. Gibson, you’ve been permanently grounded and your pilot’s license revoked.

1 STAR