SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: TEENAGE SEX AND DEATH AT CAMP MIASMA

 “This is your place.”

“Now if it gets too real, you can always turn it off.”

“Let’s do it. Let’s make a movie.”

Miasma- an oppressive or unpleasant atmosphere which surrounds or emanates from something.

In Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma , we follow Kris Williams (Hannah Einbinder), a young gender-fluid filmmaker who has been tasked with crafting a remake/lega-sequel/reboot of the undead 80s slasher franchise, Camp Miasma (a horror film hybrid of Sleepaway Camp and Friday the 13th with a killer named Little Death, a clear reference to climaxing). A mega fan of the franchise, Kris struggles to find her own unique take on the project.  She travels to the location used for the titular camp in the movies, Camp Tivoli, now owned by the original film’s starring actress Billy Presley.

Billy has turned into a Norma Desmond-esque recluse who is obsessed with the first film and spends her free time painting and drawing. Kris aims to talk to Billy, whom she wants to appear in her film, and hopefully find some creative inspiration. As the two form an intense relationship, Kris finds herself delving deep into her own psyche, unlocking trauma, desire, and repression along the way. 

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is queer wunderkind Jane Schoenbrun’s latest filmic fantasy. They use a filmic language to convey emotions and themes throughout. Schoenbrun is a long-time fan of the horror genre, something they fearlessly make known by lovingly sprinkling their film with references and deep cuts to horror films of the past. Some could argue Teenage Sex and Death relies a little too heavily on the references, but luckily Jane has more on their mind here. They explore the interconnectedness of sex and violence in horror films, the modern horror movie landscape, the relationship between queerness and horror movies, the prevalence of meta-textual commentary in the horror pictures of today, the melding of real life and movies that occurs for many super-fans of film, horror audiences’ subconscious wants and desires, and so much more.

As per usual, Schoenbrun writes and directs with passion and enthusiasm. They continue to display a very unique and personal voice you don’t see very often. They remain a true generational talent. The multiple needle drops featured here help to establish a sense of tone and place that, much like in ‘I Saw the TV Glow’, draws the viewer in and places them under Schoenbrun’s spell. Eric Yue is cinematographer and consistently wows with his visuals. The film often looks like our leads have stepped foot into a painting. Matt Hyland and Brandon Tonner share production designer duties and craft backgrounds, landscapes, and sets that look gorgeously fake and perfectly filmic. The editing by Graham Mason is stellar as well.

Hannah Einbinder makes for a very cute and likable lead as Kris, whom most horror fans will likely be able to relate to. It’s easy to get invested in Kris’ journey as she struggles to create her own unique film while dodging studio interference and the demands of her agent, fellow creatives, and actors. Gillian Anderson (affecting a classic, filmic, transatlantic accent), however, is the real star here as Billy. She makes her character kooky and unpredictable, keeping audiences on their toes as to what she will do next, the secrets she may or may not be hiding, and her motivations. Anderson easily commands the screen, and when she’s on it’s hard to tear your eyes away from her.

Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is another hypnotic and transportive movie from Jane Schoenbrun. Don’t expect your typical horror film as this is more about Kris’ psyche than following a slasher-killer. It’s very talkative and cerebral, and is painfully unique, original, and fearless. It’s quite unlike any movie I’ve seen this year so far and will likely remain that way. Schoenbrun makes exactly the movie they want to make. There are quite a few unexpected and out-there scenes throughout (such as an extended portion where we get to watch a good deal of the original Camp Miasma with our leads). Did I mention this film is also fun and cool as hell? The bigger a fan of horror you are, the more likely it is you will enjoy this wild, weird, and meaningful little flick (same goes double if you’re queer).

4.5 STARS

SMALLS TAKES A TRIP TO FORGOTTEN ISLAND

In Forgotten Island, best friends Jo and Raissa are graduating high school in the Philippines. Their friendship threatens to unravel when Raissa decides to go to CALTECH for college. During their last night out a mysterious portal opens, transporting them both to Nakali, the Forgotten Island. They'll have to find a way back to the mortal realm if Raissa is going to make it on time to her flight to California.

Forgotten Island is over-flowing with stunning, unique, wildly creative, and highly stylistic visuals. Literally one of the most gorgeous films you’ll see this year. This is one film that was tailor made for 3-D and when viewed in this format, the results do not disappoint. Our leads are a lot of fun to spend time with. H.E.R voices  Jo and Liza Soberano voices Raissa, our BFFs and protagonists. They have fantastic chemistry and are believable as life-long buddies. 

Dave Franco voices Raww, a were-aspin (or were-dog) whom is hated pretty much all across the titular island due to his antics. Manny Jacinto voices Bungi, a Tiyanak (a mythical big baby demon) who befriends our leads. Kevin McCann voices Prince Mermahn, a hot Kataw (a Merman) whom has some issues with telling the truth. There’s also Jenny Slate as Batiba, a Batibat (another demon) who offers to help our friends but for a steep price. As for villains, Lea Salonga voices Manang, a terrifying Manananggal (a winged demon) who is on the hunt for Jo and Raissa after they stole her wings. 

There isn’t a whole lot of plot as the majority of the film follows our leads as they traverse the island in search of a magical sand dollar that will transport them back home. The first act sets up the story concerning two friends who might be growing apart, the second act detours into an action-adventure-fantasy, and the third act returns to the story and brings it all home. The last act low-key turns into Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (a welcome and delightful surprise). Forgotten Island introduces mass audiences to the rich and colorful folklore and culture of the Philippines. There are also strong messages involving the power and importance of memories and friendship. 

Joel Crawford and Januel P. Mercado, the directors of the phenomenal Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, are in the director’s seats for Forgotten Island. On full display is their charming ADHD brand of humor, innovative and eclectic style, and strong beating  heart at the core of it all. They’ve crafted another winner. Forgotten Island is absolutely another one of the best films of 2026.

4.5 STARS

PRIMETIME INVITES YOU TO HAVE A SEAT

 “Hello, I’m Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. I’m calling because your machine stole something from me.”

Watch the rise and fall of Chris Hansen (Robert Pattinson) and To Catch A Predator. This film is unsettling, uncomfortable, unexpectedly funny, and deeply disturbing. It acts as a deep, probing examination of To Catch A Predator and Chris Hansen. Jonathan Lipnicki, Alex Winters, Anna Farris, and Tony Revolori are all great in surprise roles. 

Skyler Gisondo is magnificent as Dan Plumb, the newest decoy for To Catch A Predator. He starts out naive and excited, accepting the role only as a way to hopefully secure an SAG card. As his time with the show continues, we watch him grow jaded and cynical as he begins to question the ethics of the production. Merritt Wever is also great and compelling as Andie Bender, a producer for To Catch A Predator who winds up questioning the ethics and methods of the show as well. 

Robert Pattinson is absolutely superb as Chris Hansen. Hansen is not portrayed so much as a villain (an antagonist, sure!) but more as an insecure, narcissistic, egotistical, self-deluded, and deeply flawed man who sees himself as an avenging angel of sorts. He seems to believe he is doing good and yearns to be a legitimate, respected journalist. Despite his protestations to the opposite, he’s really only in this for fame, fortune, and self-publicity/self-promotion. 

Pattinson completely nails Hansen’s vocal inflections, manner of speaking, unique accent, and way he carries himself. Much like the real Hansen, Pattinson is darkly charismatic. He dominates the screen whenever he’s on and is impossible to take your eyes off of. Expect him to land an Oscar nomination this year. 

Documentarian Lance Oppenheim writes and directs, doing both with ease, confidence, and finesse. David Bolan handles cinematography and Daniel Garber handles editing duties. Due to their hard work, Primetime can look downright transcendent and hypnotic at the best of times, but often has a tactile VHS grain.

Primetime aims to be the modern day Network. It might just succeed in its goal (I’m still undecided as far as how successful Primetime is at this). Primetime invites audiences to self-reflect on the unethical craze of To Catch A Predator and the roles we all played in choosing to eagerly and excitedly devour what it was feeding us.  The end product will likely leave most deeply shaken.

4 STARS

SMALLS FRIGHT FEST: IT ENDS

In It Ends, best friends James (Phineas Yoon), Day (Akira Jackson), Fisher (Noah Toth),  and Tyler (Mitchell Cole) are youths in their 20s living their lives and having fun while doing so. While on a trip, they find themselves trapped on an endless road in the middle of a forest with no means of escape. They can’t turn back, they can’t stop, all they can do is keep driving forward. As the days tick slowly on, they each try to make sense of their lives, figure out what the road is, why they are there, and contemplate if they will ever find a way out of the forest and off the road. 

It Ends is the directorial debut of Alexander Ullom, who also edits and pens the screenplays for the film. He does a very impressive job inall of his roles. It Ends is more freaky and surreal than scary, but this isn’t the focus of the movie. Instead, what It Ends is really about is life in your 20s, the struggles you encounter during this time (including emotional ennui), the questions you grapple with, and the realizations you come to about life and the world at large. This is existential horror at some of its best and most meaningful.

The cinematography is handled by Evan Draper and Jazleana Jones. This is both of their first times working as cinematographer on a full-length feature, and they do a superb job. The road and forest our characters are trapped on and in is gorgeous and the numerous car POVs are impressive and creative. The multiple shots of the road and trees zooming by become surreal and hypnotic. Early on, while the trees speed past it looks like they are spinning in circles despite moving in one direction. The shots of the road whizzing by are so surprisingly colorful and close-up that it can almost look like strands of time flying past instead of a gravel road. 

Our core four protagonists excel in their roles. They each put on strong, solid, emotionally impactful performances. Not one stands out more than the others (Though Noah Toth is mighty cute). They work well together, share great chemistry with each other, and are genuinely believable as friends. The entire film takes place within the claustrophobic confines of their car so the film has to really rely on our leads to carry the proceedings. It’s a task they are more than up to. While certain events do occur, most of the movie is conversations between our leads and these are fairly thought-provoking and interesting. 

It Ends is heavy, depressing, and downbeat.  The proceedings can often feel hopeless for our leads. Luckily, there is a small shred of light at the end of the tunnel.  The ultimate message is surprisingly meaningful, happy, and confirms there is some hope despite the doom and gloom.

It Ends is one hell of an impressive debut for first-timer Alexander Ullom. It could make for a nice calling card for the director. The proceedings should be relatable for anyone in their 20s or 30s. There is a lot the film has to say, all of it meaningful and poignant. With plenty of heart, strong characters, and cerebral themes, It Ends easily emerges as one of the best films of 2026.

5 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: RESIDENT EVIL

 In Resident Evil, we follow lowly medical courier Bryan (Austin Abrams) as he’s given the seemingly simple task of transporting a valuable medical item to Raccoon City General Hospital. Unfortunately for poor Bryan, his task will take him through literal hell. Raccoon City is dealing with a deadly viral outbreak that turns the infected into terrible monstrosities. Bryan is challenged in unforeseeable ways as he will have to find a way to defend himself and protect his precious cargo during his increasingly dangerous journey.

Zach Cregger had one aim in making his take on the Resident Evil franchise: Recreate the experience of playing one of the games. He excels in his task. Watching Resident Evil is like watching a newcomer to the Resident Evil games or survival horror do a play-through. For anyone who has ever played a Resident Evil game, Cregger’s take is very entertaining, funny, and relatable. There isn’t much meat on this film. It’s pretty straight-forward as Bryan is, for all extents and purposes, the sole character in the movie. The plot is basic and simple.

Austin Abrams is superb as Bryan. Bryan is a lovable idiot and a loser. The little meat there is to this adaptation comes from his backstory. Bryan’s girlfriend, Michelle, has just found out she is pregnant. Unfortunately for her, Bryan is afraid of change. His trek through Raccoon City brings him face-to-face with rapidly changing infected. In short: Bryan’s journey is metaphorically forcing him to confront and contend with his fear of change.

It is highly entertaining to watch Bryan’s reactions to each new threat and impossible situation. It’s unfortunate, then, that he never really gets better at playing this game. He continually makes terrible decisions and costly mistakes throughout. While playing any of the Resident Evil games, you inevitably adapt and get better at defending yourself, making choices, and surviving. Not so for Bryan. He’s an idiot at the start of the film and is still an idiot by the time the end credits roll. That’s not to say he doesn’t experience some character growth and transformation, but it’s still a little frustrating to never see him fully get a handle on the art of how to survive this fresh new hell.

As previously stated, despite his flaws, Bryan is a very likable, relatable, and empathetic character. It's immense fun to watch how he deals with each escalating situation. The film is mostly accurate to the Resident Evil games. The lore presented is a tad bit spotty, but the monsters and environments feel like ones you might encounter during a play-through.

There are some Easter eggs not-so-hidden within this movie that eagle eyed long-time fans should immediately recognize. There are two notable monsters that feel like ones found in Left 4 Dead, which might upset some but I found to be thoroughly enjoyable. There’s also a scene in the first act that will likely remind most of John Carpenter’s The Thing.There are some recognizable actors in surprise roles and certain elements from the Resident Evil games make an appearance as well. Most of the effects are CGI, though practical effects are occasionally used during the third act.

The cinematography by Dariusz Wolsky is cool and fun. Resident Evil utilizes POV shots at times to mimic the first-person perspective of some of the games. Each instance of this is used to great effect and works exceptionally well. The score by Hays Holladay, Ryan Holladay, and Hays Ryan Holladay is minimalist, synth-y, and effective. It often matches the beats of the film, to the point where it can often feel like the film itself or the characters within it are moving to the rhythm of the score. The Holladay triplets previously worked with Cregger on Weapons, and I’d say the score for RE is the superior one. It’s easily worth a purchase or download.

Resident Evil doesn’t suffer from many issues. As I said earlier it is a fairly sparse tale with little meat on the bone. The film essentially throws audiences directly into the action. Here’s your main character, here’s his mission, aaaaaannnddd...GO! My biggest issue with the movie is the way it ends, which I absolutely hated. Without going into spoilers, I can understand why Cregger and co-writer Shay Hatten chose to go the unconventional route, but it doesn’t make the end result any less frustrating and disappointing.

Resident Evil garnered much backlash from “fans” after the first trailer was released. I can confidentially say these “fans” were wrong. While Cregger’s Resident Evil is far from a perfect adaptation of the beloved property, what it does well it does extremely well. It’s also often incredibly tense and scary (and surprisingly funny). Despite my opinions on the ending, this is easily the best Resident Evil movie we’ve received, and real fans should be grateful for Cregger’s gift.

4 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: BATES MOTEL

 The Bates Motel is under new management. Does this mean the screams will finally stop?

When Norman Bates passes away in the sanitarium, he bequeaths his house and the Bates Motel to Alex West (Bud Cort), his best friend at the sanatorium who he took under his wing when Alex was just a young boy. Released from the sanitarium, Alex makes his way to the infamous hotel with plans for renovations. New friends assist while old ghosts stand in his way.

Lori Petty co-stars as Willie, a down-on-her luck woman who was squatting in the old Bates house. Petty is pretty bad. She’s grating and unlikable. Moses Gunn plays Henry Watson, the only other friend to Alex and another character struggling with personal problems. Moses is likely the best actor here.

Gregg Henry appears as Tim Fuller, a bank manager with his own plans for the motel. Henry is fine, doing exactly what is required of him. This is not one of his more memorable roles, though. Jason Bateman cameos as Tony (a clear reference to Anthony Perkins), a lovelorn teen who rents a room for the night. There’s not much to say about him as he has little screen time.

Bud Cort as Alex is certainly trying his best, but is stuck in one mode: awkward. He’s clearly trying to do something similar to Anthony Perkins’ Norman but completely fails to sell the role. He plays the whole thing with a wide-eyed shock and overall timidness/meekness that gets old fast. He even manages to read some of his lines wrong, in so much as some are meant to be questions but he doesn’t read them as such. 

Bates Motel was released in 1987, after Psycho 2 and 3. It makes the unwise decision to erase those films and pick up where the original classic left off before fast-forwarding to present day 1987. It’s an odd and baffling choice that, in better hands, could possibly work but definitely doesn’t here. As far as I could tell, this film doesn’t utilize the original classic sets, instead choosing to re-create them. The attempt isn’t terrible, but the look of the renovated Bates Motel is just bad. 

Richard Rothstein directs and penns the screenplay. He created and wrote the tv show The Hitchhiker, penned the screenplay for Universal Soldier, and directed two episodes of The Hitchiker. The direction is poor and the screenplay is atrocious. The writing and story might be the worst parts of this movie.

Bates Motel opts for a lighter tone that veers into comedy at times, but more often aims for supernatural mystery. A large part of this film deals with the possibility that the ghost of Mrs. Bates still haunts the grounds. Insulting and stupid. It doesn’t help matters that Bates Motel even contradicts the original classic at times (Mrs. Bates is accidentally dug up in a coffin during construction and it’s implied she might have murdered her lover, Jake).

As if all of this wasn’t bad enough, there’s even a 13th hour sub-plot involving the  ghosts of 50’s teens who died by suicide. You heard that right, actual real ghosts are included in the proceedings. It’s also very disappointing that this film doesn’t include a single death/murder. Not a one! 

Bates Motel was a made-for-tv movie that aimed to spawn a future tv series picking up after the events of the film. Luckily, this would not come to pass. The Bates Motel series that aired in 2013 is not affiliated with this failed feature-length pilot and was much better than whatever this was. If Alex West offers you a room at his renovated Bates Motel, I’d suggest you drive on by.

1 STAR

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: GUS VAN SANT'S PSYCHO

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SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: MONKEY'S MAGIC MERRY GO ROUND

 In this very special episode of Monkey’s Magic Merry Go Round, someone has stolen James’ memories!! Help him solve the case along with his pals Marty the Mailbox, King Roary the Lion, Foxy, Beaver, Octopus, Bird, and Weasel.

Michael Gilio plays children’s tv show host James, who at first glance appears like a typical, normal Mr. Roger’s stand-in. Unfortunately, he suffers from severe memory loss. As James attempts to remember, the children’s show he hosts slowly devolves into a surreal nightmare. Who is responsible for James’ lost memories? Will he ever be able to remember?

Michael Gilio is perfect as our lead. He nails both the children’s tv show host and the more unhinged parts of his personality very well. He’s equal parts hospitable and friendly, and freaky and unnerving. Franky Cesario as Monkey, on the other hand, is uncomfortable from the get go, made even more so with his unnatural human-like hands and high-pitched, wild voice. Is it James or Monkey who is the antagonist? You’ll have to watch to find out.

For the first act, this film excels at mimicking a children’s tv show. However, the longer it goes on the more it descends into something else entirely. James consistently breaks the 4th wall throughout, even well after the show has morphed into a dark, bloody acid-trip. There isn’t much story here, you could argue the children’s show aesthetics don’t last as long as they maybe should, and the film definitely loses its footing at times, but this is still a highly entertaining pitch-dark horror-comedy that should please anyone who grew up watching Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, Blues Clues, Sesame Street, or other shows like those.

4  STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: SCARY MOVIE (2026)

 This time, no one is safe.

The Wayans Bros return to the Scary Movie franchise after 25 years. They don’t direct (that responsibility falls to Michael Tiddes), but they do pen the screenplay. Having missed 25 years of horror, you can feel their eagerness to play catch-up. They mostly spoof newer horror films and mainstream movies, but also include films they missed in-between (like Final Destination 3, for example).

The cast from the OG Scary Movie return, some in lead roles, some as supporting characters, and some as cameos. A new, younger cast of characters appear as well. Hell, even big names like Teyana Taylor make brief appearances. Everyone understands the film they are in, and seem to enjoy getting to relax, unwind, and not take things too seriously. The stand-outs are Anna Farris, Regina Hall, Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Dave Sheridan, Cameron Scott Roberts, and Teyana Taylor.

This sixth outing brings the franchise back to its R rated roots. It’s very stupid, very meta, and very hilarious. It definitely feels more in line with Scary Movie 1 and 2. Scary Movie 6 takes the usual throw everything at the wall and see what sticks approach. A good deal of the jokes fall flat, but a lot hit their mark. Admittedly, it does drag at points but there is always a good joke or several waiting just around the corner.

No one comes to a Scary Movie for character development or plot. They come to laugh and enjoy themselves. Scary Movie looks to entertain, and easily accomplishes its simple goal. If all you want is to laugh your behind off, Scary Movie 6 is a guaranteed good time.

3 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: EXIT 8

 In Exit 8, a meek and scared young man with asthma finds himself trapped in a liminal looping hallway that never ends. He’ll have to follow the rules and pay attention for any anomalies if he’s going to find a way out and back to his pregnant ex girlfriend. He’s not sure if he’s ready to be a father, but he’ll have plenty of time for contemplation while trapped in the hallway from Hell.

Thin on plot, but with plenty of good messages about people trapped in their own personal loops, sleepwalking through life, and the importance of waking up, deciding to take action, and finding ways to break yourself out of your own loop. Our lead gets a pretty decent arc and is competently portrayed by Kazunari Ninomiya. His little companion who pops up around half-way through the film, played by Naru Asanuma, is quite good as well. Both are likable and easy to root for.

The cinematography by Keisuke Imamura and editing by Sakura Seya don’t break any new grounds but are very competent, cool, and impressive. The production design by Kenta Tsutsumi is sparse but effective, perfectly replicating the look of the game. Genki Kawamura directs and co-writes the screenplay with Kentaro Hirase. The direction is confident and handled well.

The screenplay is fine, never really standing out or impressing. It gets the job done. Yamato Kochi as Walking Man and Kotone Hanase as High School Girl make for unsettling and effective supporting roles. The film isn’t really scary, but is consistently tense and freaky throughout. 

Exit 8 faithfully adapts not just the look, but also the experience of playing the video game it’s based on. It’s a simple but effective flick. Exit 8 doesn’t overstay its welcome and adds just enough filmic spice (character development, character arcs, messages) to make this one liminal space worth getting trapped in. It’s certainly one of the better and more impressive PG-13 horror films out there.

3.5 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST: FACES OF DEATH

 A film that wants to say something important about desensitization, the ethics of content moderation companies, and the “attention economy” of today. Unfortunately, it doesn’t find very much to say at all and the societal commentary aspect (which is just about the only thing this film has going for it) is mostly forgotten about by the third act. The killer, played by Dacre Montgomery, is very silly and has little motivation except that he wants to be famous. Montgomery is a great actor, but he is awful here as he mugs for the camera, does odd body movements, and screams into the camera for most of the run time.

Barbie Ferreria as our lead is definitely trying, but this flick doesn’t do her much favors. At least she’s better than Dacre. The editing by Taylor Levy and cinematography by Isaac Bauman are competent, shining most during a home invasion late into the film. Throughout the run time characters act in unrealistic ways and make really dumb decisions to further the plot. Much of it stretches believability, and the third act devolves into complete silliness.

Faces of Death isn’t terrible, but it also isn’t terribly good either. It’s entertaining enough for an average horror film, but isn’t as memorable, cool, effective, or timely as it should be. How disappointing.

2.5 STARS

SMALLS FRIGHT FEST: EYES OF LAURA MARS

"Death is a sacred thing."

Fashion photographer Laura Mars is famous for her faux tableaus of violence and murder. She aims to force people to confront violence of all kinds. When she unexpectedly develops the ability to voyeuristically watch murders through the eyes of a killer, it will be she who is forced to confront violence and death. 

Many view Eyes of Laura Mars as an American Giallo film, and they aren't wrong. This film has a surprisingly stacked cast including Raúl Juliá, Faye Dunaway, Tommy Lee Jones, Brad Dourif, and René Auberjonois (the film’s secret MVP). It’s also got one of the best uses of the POV shot in film. Between this and Halloween, 1978 was a damn good year for the POV shot. 

The Eyes of Laura Mars has more on its mind than just death. It’s a film about violence, voyeurism, and the spectator’s role in art. It isn’t afraid to interrogate its subject matter and it forces the audience to confront its part in viewing horror films. It’s definitely a different kind of horror flick. Think of it as horror by way of high art. 

The killer’s reveal is a bit last-minute, feels rushed, and doesn’t fully satisfy. That said, everything that comes before is of quality. The cinematography by Victor J. Kemper (Dog Day Afternoon, Xanadu, Slap Shot, The Jerk, Beethoven, National Lampoon’s Vacation, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, Clue, Cohen and Tate, Tommy Boy, Jingle All the Way) is impressive at moments. 

The editing is handled by Michael Kahn (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, 1941, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Poltergeist, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Goonies, The Color Purple, Fatal Attraction, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Arachnophobia, Hook, Jurassic Park, Schindler’s List, Casper, Twister, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Saving Private Ryan, A.I. Artificial Intelligence, The Terminal, The BFG, The Post, Bridge of Spies, Minority Report, Catch Me if You Can, War of the Worlds 2005, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Munich, Ready Player One, The Adventures of Tintin, War Horse, Lincoln, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, West Side Story 2021, The Fabelmans) and he does a great job. 

The screenplay by John Carpenter and David Zelag Goodman (Straw Dogs, Logan’s Run) is strong. The same goes for the directing by Empire Strikes Back’s Irvin Kershner (He also directed Robocop 2). The Eyes of Laura Mars is an under-appreciated horror movie that is absolutely worth a watch or several. Don’t look away.

SMALLS FRIGHT FEST: ONSLAUGHT

 In Onslaught, when a small super-soldier unit escapes from their secret military base, a divorced ex-military vet will have to protect her trailer park home and her young daughter from the unstoppable squad as they lay siege to the area. 

A step back in the right direction for Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett. There is indeed an onslaught in Onslaught, but the violence and action aren’t quite to the degree most are likely expecting. While the extended trailer park scene is quite good, the best action scene is the first one at the military base. 

Dan Stevens is entertaining and weird as Dr. Kammler, a Nazi scientist and head of the super soldier program. Michael Biehn is a welcome presence as one of the higher-ups at the company funding Kammler’s research. Unfortunately, both get minimal screen time. 

Adria Arjuna is likable as Celeste, our first lead. She is an army vet with some serious PTSD and the on-site manager of the trailer park. 

Eric Wareheim is entertaining as Kovacks, a pathetic loser cop and resident of the trailer park. Reginald VelJohnson (of Die Hard and Family Matters fame) is great as Josiah, a Vietnam vet who lives at the trailer park and is the only friend Celeste has. Drew Starkey plays Cyrus (my favorite character), an assassin sent to contain the situation. Cyrus has a lot of potential as he spends the majority of the film tripping on pure MDMA. Unfortunately, he is given very little to do. 

The screenplay by Simon Barrett isn’t the strongest. The story here is very simple, unfortunately to the film’s detriment. There are also sub-plots, reveals, and themes that go nowhere. While our cast is quirky and weird, you never feel fully invested in any of their fates. Celeste in particular hits upon the truth of the situation way too quickly. Her intuition is insanely good.

Our three man super-soldier unit is very cool, intimidating, and scary (I love how their eyes glow). They are memorable and are given brief, but interesting backstories. There aren’t many people living at the trailer park, so the “onslaught” isn’t quite as crazy as you hope it would be and the final fight between Celeste and the leader of the unit is over too quickly.

While Onslaught never quite settles into a comfortable rhythm (the film moves in starts and stops), the editing by Adam Avery and Josh Schaeffer and cinematography by Oren Soffer are very impressive and cool. The score by Matthew Pusti is deliciously synth-y and absolutely worth a purchase. 

Perhaps the most interesting thing about Onslaught is that it’s set in the world of The Guest. The super-soldier program is the next evolution of the same program that made David into the monster he is, KPG is never named in the film proper but has been heavily hinted at by director Adam Wingard to be the company at the heart of the film’s super-soldier program, and the town Onslaught is set in is Moriarty (the same town from The Guest). Moriarty doesn’t feel or look the same here, but that might be because there are minimal locations utilized and it seems the the trailer park is on the outskirts of the town. 

Onslaught is clearly heavily inspired by the films of John Carpenter, specifically his grindhouse fare like Assault on Precinct 13 and Escape from New York (I’d say this is more Escape from New York than Assault on Precinct 13, but maybe that’s just me). Onslaught is a weird grindhouse-action-horror-comedy-B Movie (with the emphasis on weird). There are a lot of plates it’s attempting to juggle, but it never does an impressive job at any of them. The plates do fall, but they don’t break. Onslaught has lofty aspirations it fails to reach. Luckily, even though it isn’t a super memorable movie, it’s still a ton of fun while it’s on.

3 STARS