In Hardcore Henry, Henry awakens after being brutally murdered. His life jumpstarted by a beautiful woman named Estelle (Haley Bennett), who proceeds to upgrade him with cybernetic parts. She claims to be his wife, but Henry can't recall due to memory loss from his death. It doesn't take long before a wicked looking albino named Akan (Danila Kozlovsky) storms Estelle's lab, kidnapping her and having his goons taser poor Henry right off a bridge. With the help of a mysterious man named Jimmy (Sharlto Copley), Henry is going to go after Akan, rescue his wife, and reclaim his life.
Hardcore Henry lived up to my worst fears and greatest expectations. It is a live-action videogame movie, filled with testosterone and it follows a typical Mario Bros.-esque plot (Save the princess, or in this case, your wife). It's loud, dumb, violent, bloody, brutal, surreal, insane and tons of fun. Danila Kozlovsky makes for a cool villain, and Sharlto Copley nails his many roles perfectly (His Jimmy keeps coming back to life in a different form every time he dies, I won't explain why or how. Jimmy also has a very fun and goofy musical dance number set to I've Got You Under My Skin). Indeed, his budding bro-mance with Henry is one of the stronger aspects of this film. I'd say this is my 2nd favorite role of Copley's.
The first person perspective is an inventive, original way to tell this story while putting us directly in Henry's shoes. The result is thrilling and dizzying (I don't normally get queasy in these types of film, but I did here a few times. Wasn't anything I couldn't shake off though). The action is almost non-stop, with very little breathing room in-between set pieces (very impressive stunt work). The only downside to the first person perspective is that it can feel like you are watching someone else play a video game at times (Please, just give me the damned controller). I was surprised at how well the you-are-Henry effect worked at times.
So, what are this film's issues? As I said before, the plot is fairly threadbare, dumb, and typical territory for a video game (but still cool). The script is bad in an action, B-Movie, 80's-esque, guy flick type of way. The villain lacks motivation (and his nifty telekinetic powers are never explained). The film also ends way too abruptly. In other words, it's bad in exactly the ways you'd expect it to be.
If you are an action movie junkie or a fan of video games, there's a chance you may enjoy Hardcore Henry. However, if you want your action film to have a plot, a decent script, character development, and a satisfying conclusion, maybe you'd do best to look somewhere else. For myself, I had an absolute, surreal blast with Hardcore Henry. It may not be a great film, but it's an awesome, unique experience (Kind of like Project X).
3.5 STARS
EDIT: I can only imagine how much crazier, immersive, and nauseating this film would be if viewed on the Oculus Rift.
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Friday, March 25, 2016
BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: YAWN OF JUSTICE
I'm going to make this a list of complaints, much like my review of Transformers 2 (So yes, there will be HEAVY spoilers). Before I start complaining, let's quickly talk about what I liked:
THE GOOD:
- I feel really bad for all the actors here. I don't blame them at all. They are stuck in a bad film, and there is nothing they can do to save it.
- Doomsday doesn't look good
- Jimmy Olsen is executed early on in the film.
THE GOOD:
-Zach Snyder is only good at directing action scenes.
- I feel really bad for all the actors here. I don't blame them at all. They are stuck in a bad film, and there is nothing they can do to save it.
- The sequence where we get to re-live the end of Man of Steel, except this time from ground level. I thought this was pretty cool, and it reinforced just how irresponsible Superman is/was.
- Ben Affleck was fine as Batman. I liked getting to watch him get pushed over the edge of sanity by Luthor.
- The last act was the best part of the film. Very entertaining; in a mindless, dumb, blockbuster kind of way. Doomsday battle was great, and Batman's takedown of around a dozen or more baddies in a building was great.
- The action scenes all looked good, though there were moments where what was going on was hard to make out. Lots of good explosions though. .
- The 3D was passable...decent.
- I enjoyed Jesse Eisenberg's performance as Luthor. He plays him like an insane, mildly mentally disabled (think Aspergers) yuppie billionaire. I never thought of him as Luthor, but I'd be lying if I said he didn't have me chuckling a few times.
- I liked the new Batsuit and Batmobile, also liked how they explained how Bruce Wayne disguises his voice as Batman.
- Gal Gadot was good as Wonder Woman (When she was in her costume).
- All the action takes place in mostly unpopulated areas. Near cities, yes....but the film doesn't seem to carry anywhere near the amount of deaths Man of Steel had. Still has A LOT of destruction though.
- I like that most of the film is about the powers that be trying to hold Supes accountable for the destruction he has caused previously.
- Holly Hunter may be the best actor here, though she is given little screen time.
Now, onto THE BAD:
- The film is trying to tell five different stories at the same time (It wants to be a Batman film, it wants to be a Superman film, it wants to be the catalyst for a Justice League Movie, It wants to have the battle from The Dark Knight Returns, and it wants to tell the story of The Death of Superman). By trying to tell all five simultaneously, it in turn fails to tell any single one of these stories properly.
- The film lacks focus. This is both a Superman movie, and a Batman movie. It feels like two seperate movies forced into one single film, and they never coalesce or gel together all that well (It all feels very disjointed). It doesn't help that the film constantly jumps between our three leads (Lex Luthor, Batman, and Superman), never really letting any one character shine (Though I will say it feels like Superman gets the blunt end of the stick here compared to the other two). Between trying to tell 5 different stories in one film, and jumping between characters like it does, the film feels like it forgot to take it's ADHD pills. It all feels like one big mess.
- The film doesn't feel interested in what we came here to see. It's so obsessed with setting up a Justice League film, that the film it advertised itself to be (Bats vs. Supes) takes backstage to setting up a Justice League film.
- The film has zero plot. The first two acts are literally poor build-up (and kind of boring) to the big Bats vs. Supes fight WHICH ONLY LASTS 10 MINUTES TOPS, PROBABLY LESS THAN THAT (and what's worse, the fight really isn't all that great. Some cool parts in it, but it's too short and not as impressive and cool as you would have hoped The Doomsday battle is far, far superior....as is Batman's solo fight against Lex's goons).
- Superman dies at the end. He's only been Superman for a good two years in this movie's universe, that's not long enough for him to earn being killed off. It all feels very cheap and desperate, plus you know that they're just going to bring him back to life in Justice League Part One.
- Luthor loses his hair when it's shaved off in prison at the end of the film....soooooo, why does he decide to keep it shaved? It's just going to grow back in a little while. There is no reason for him to decide to keep it shaved. It makes NO SENSE.
- Henry Cavil lacks the screen prescence or charisma to pull off the role of Superman. 'Nuff said.
- Doomsday doesn't look good
- Jimmy Olsen is executed early on in the film.
- Zack Snyder: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU TALENTLESS HACK!!!! Whoo, that felt good. This film proves just how useless he is as a director. Batman Vs. Superman lacks direction (as can be evidenced by my many points above). He was unable to say no to the Studio's various demands. He acts here as more of a Yes Man than as an actual director, being nothing more than a lifeless puppet for the studio to do with as they please. He also lacked a vision for the film, it's the equivalent of a boy wanting to smash two toys together again and again and again, but he doesn't know how he wants them to clash and is told he has to create his own story for why they are clashing (his reasoning behind the clash? Batman is afraid of Supes and thinks he has too much power. He thinks Supes poses an immediate threat to planet Earth. Supes thinks Batman is out of control, but is more so interested in defaming him through The Daily Planet than by fighting him).
- The film opens with the death of Bruce Wayne's parents and his falling into a cave filled with bats. We've seen Batman's origins how many times on film now? Did you really think that audiences didn't know his backstory, Snyder? This was just a lack of self-control on Snyder's part in my opinion. He did this because he wanted to (Yet another reason he's a bad director, lack of self control).
- So many nonsensical nightmares from Bruce Wayne. We know how he feels about Supes, we understand his fears. Did you really need to hammer us over the head with what are clearly nightmares from Batman, Snyder? It felt like Sucker Punch all over again, except the nightmares aren't even fun or imaginative (flying winged monster-soldiers? REALLY?!).
- Lois Lane exists as nothing else than to be an object to move the plot along.
- Lois Lane exists as nothing else than to be an object to move the plot along.
- The film is completely nihilistic, cynical and dark. It doesn't seem too fond of our heroes, painting Supes as a man who wants to do good but is deeply irresponsible and ineffective (Why are people worshipping this guy again? He causes so much damage in both Man of Steel and BvS, you'd think most would have denounced him by now) and Batman as a completely deranged madman who is hellbent on destroying Supes, even if it means resorting to murder and burglary in order to do so. Most of the movie is very dark and gloomy, and not much action takes place until the final 40 minutes or so. It's a VERY dark film that deals with adult themes (I would have liked this, if the film had been tighter, more focused, and just overall better). What I'm saying is it's not for kids or teens.
- DC and WB have not earned their own DC Cinematic Universe. They want what Marvel has, but aren't willing to put in the time and effort necessary to create their own cinematic universe. It took Marvel eight years to build their universe, DC and WB try to do all that work in ONE SINGLE FILM. The result is about as good as you'd expect it to be, which is to say it's not....at all. They haven't earned this.
SUMMARY:
I had feared that BvS: DoJ would end up being another Spider-Man 3. A film that tried to do way too much and suffered for it. I was right, except that this film's heart is in completely the wrong place. It exists not to tell a story, but to act only as a stepping stone into a Justice League Movie and the start of the DC Cinematic Universe, which has not been earned at all. BvS:DoJ is a film that wants to have it's cake and eat it too. I say, don't let it. This film is going to make a crap load of money, and it doesn't deserve a single cent of it. Also, Zach Snyder: Stop making movies you worthless hack.
1.5 STARS
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
HALLOWEEN IN MARCH: MY SUPER LATE REVIEW OF HHN 25
Hey there ghosties and ghoulies! Things were complicated regarding last year's Fright Fest (Computer was broken and I was busy in a new area). So, with that out of the way I bring you my review for HHN 25.
2015 was a big year for HHN as the event turned 25. To celebrate, the forces that be decided to dust off a fan favorite Icon; Jack The Clown; and have him return to host this year's event. I'm honestly just glad we finally have an icon again. HHN 25 was in great shape, and I managed to go so many times I honestly lost count. Among the other activities I got to do was Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit at night (one of my favorite times to ride the coaster), Mummy, Gringotts, and Diagon Ally and London at night (for the first time , absolutely gorgeous). With that out of the way, let's talk about Shows first.
The Carnage Returns: Jack's Back, and he's bringing the carnage with him in a stage show where audience members get to watch, cheer, and laugh as victims are slaughtered on stage. The whole show was an absolute blast to watch, and the new acrobatics impressed. The music they chose to play for the pre-show (which had timed blasts of flame shooting off to the music) was great as well. Jack was a fantastic ring leader, and it was cool to finally see what I had been missing out on. If Jack does make a return next year, give him another show. 9/10
Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure: Bill and Ted return with Doc Brown (in a cameo), to find that Kanye and Kim have stolen their phone booth and altered the future so that Kanye is a pop culture GOD who is disposing of famous pop culture icons left and right. Will our heroes come out most triumphant or will things end bogusly? This was one of the pair's middling shows to be honest. I felt that Kanye made the PERFECT villain, the opening sequence was great, and there were several really funny parts but there were still quite a few bits that missed the mark.
I did get to see the Final show, and my thoughts follow- Crowds for show extended back to London. They played Final Countdown shortly before opening gates. Opening number had a lot more improv, including husband and wife gyrating on stage while saying Hard....Rock (Etc etc etc). When husband says BnT is a musical he added: "Like Rocky Horror". Doc Brown got a standing ovation and gave Bill and Ted a hug. Both Bill and ted ran around the front of the theater high giving the whole front row. Whole audience shouted Shia Labeouf's Just Do It speech and Bill commented that it looks like Shia had created a cult. One of the times BnT did their signature hand move the music didn't play, and they both looked around and frowned. Avatar Land man did sex tail joke to Bill instead of Ted. Extended gag about who else has ruined pop culture instead of BnT, they both pull out a list of paper and start spouting off famous duos including Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton. Scarlett Widow full on made out with Bruce Banner at end of Dance Fight. Ted made a jab at Scarlett Widow. calling her Charlotte's Web. Bill told Jon Snow of course he knows Jon Snow is dead, he's a time traveler and is on Season 12. Lady from jurassic World came out in crocks instead of high heels. Ted said he's not Keanu Reeves after Jem and The Hologram's insult, he's really John Wick. Whole audience shouted along with Kanye: "I got no strings, Bill and Ted! I got no strings!". Great joke about Black Widow stepping on Ant-Man. When cap protests Black Widow compares the size of his package to the size of Ant-Man. Princess Leia appeared in her slave outfit instead of her regular get-up. Show ended with a heartfelt thanks from ted to all the fans, calling us Wyld Stallions. Show closed with Power of Love as the exit music. Needless to say, the final show blew all the regular shows out of the water.
Final Show: 10/10
Regular Show: 6/10
ZONES
ICONS: HHN- In this zone The Caretaker, The Director, The Usher, and The Storyteller all get their own stages and mini-shows where they kill off one victim. It's an entertaining zone that leads up to the stage for The Carnage Returns. I saw every mini-show, and I've got to say my favorite was The Director's. 7/10
All Nite Die-In: Double Feature- This zone controlled the area in front of Disaster. It has an interesting concept for a zone: a double feature. One set is black-and-white classic monsters like Frankenstein's Monster, Frankenstein, Igor, The Wolfman, A Gypsy, The Invisible Man, etc. The other set consists of colorized contemporary monsters like Chucky, Freddy, Jason, Bride of Chucky, Carrie, etc. It's not the most well-themed zone but getting to meet some of your favorite movie monsters is always a treat. 7/10
Roaming Clowns: A bunch of crazed chainsaw wielding clowns haunt the area by The Simpsons. Every time I traveled through, they managed to always freak me out. The scare actors were all very dedicated to their roles and were pretty relentless in their efforts to scare you. First roaming horde that I've ever found effective. 8/10
Roaming Prisoners: A gang of escaped inmates wielding chainsaws stalk the area around Transformers. This was more so your typical roaming horde. Not very scary. 4/10
Scary Tales: Scream Punk- This zone took over the area by Despicable Me and Shrek 4D. There wasn't much theming except for a giant prop that would emit copious amounts of fog. The characters (Steampunk versions of fairy tale characters) were terrifically designed and managed to get a few scares. 6/10
Psychoscareapy: Unleashed- This zone took over the New York area. A Shadybrook Asylum bus has crashed, unleashing all the crazy inhabitants into the town which they quickly take control of, murdering citizens, torturing visitors and just generally running completely amok. The zone was very well themed and the scare actors were all invested in their roles. It was fun to walk through this zone and just watch the scare actors do their thing. One of them (a girl) came up to me and, without breaking character, told me that she knew me from high school. It was a very cool moment for me. 8/10
Evil's Roots- This zone took over the Central Park area, and did the same thing most zones in this area do: Pump up the fog, add some pretty set decorations, and utilize creepy lighting. I LOVED this zone (although it really reminded me of Grown Evil at times). The characters consist of various different street characters from past years, and the zone itself is themed to an overgrown garden/forest. On the right nights, the fog would be so thick that you couldn't see a few feet in front of you, setting up some great scares and creating a fantastic sense of unease and tension as you never knew what or who lay ahead of you. 8/10
HOUSES
RUN: Blood Sweat and Fears- A sequel house to 2001's RUN. In this house, we are the unwilling participants of a game show where contestants are literally forced to run for their lives as crazed killers give chase. I loved the queue music (all 80's classics),the queue video, the theme, the story, and the facade for this house. However, once you step foot inside it all kind of falls apart. The theming inside is scattered and it's hard to follow exactly what is going on unless you travel through several times. I still say it's a fun house, but it's not scary. 6/10
The Walking Dead: The Living and The Dead- This is what, the 4th year we've had a Walking Dead house?! Enough is enough already! The house completely fails to breathe life into its tired concept. I will say the sets were very nice inside, and I definitely felt like I had entered the world of the show....but I just wasn't scared inside it. Oh well. 6/10
American Werewolf in London: A repeat of the same house from 2013, but with a less dedicated cast and lessened SFX and jump scares. I'm not alone in thinking that the original house was better. Apparently on the last night I thought the house had come a long way and was very intense for a change. 5/10
Asylum in Wonderland- Alice has lost her mind and is now locked in an asylum. Travel through her warped world, and see things as she does, with the assist of some 3D glasses. I really liked this house. It's nowhere near as amazing as The In-Between from 2011, but it did manage to remind me of that house at times (definitely a positive). There were definitely some scenes that freaked me out, and I dug the simple but cool story of the house. 7/10
The Purge- This house started out pretty weak but just got stronger as the event rolled on. Originally slated to be a house themed to Scream (the tv show), Purge allows us to explore a night during The Purge. I had a lot of fun with this house, and walking through it always left me pretty happy (I'm a big Purge fan, what can I say?). This is the only house where I jumped into a wall twice. The first time was into a corner of a wall, banged my shoulder real good. I also got to assist with one of the kills: I got a plant in front of me (someone sent into the line who is part of the house but looks like a regular park goer). I pointed at her to the scare actor who was going to grab her. He looked at me and nodded, as if he wanted me to confirm. I nodded back at him, then he grabbed her. It was a great little play-acting moment. It is cleat in some rooms that the house was supposed to be Scream at first but was changed to Purge late in the game as the beginning is clearly the house from Scream (with character mannequins), and there are some rooms that are covered in strobes (most strobes I've seen in a house in a while). That said, the cast brings a high-energy intensity and insanity to the house that really helped things, and I'll say that ignoring the first few Scream rooms, I really did feel like I was traveling through The Purge. 8/10
Freddy Vs. Jason- In this house, we get to walk through our own, personal version of Freddy vs. Jason. We enter through Camp Crystal Lake and get to explore that setting for a few rooms before switching over to the Elm Street house via a fully realized facade we get to walk into around half-way through the house (so very cool). We explore that setting for a few rooms before we get to jump between the lake at Camp Crystal Lake (even going underwater at one point) and the boiler room in Nightmare on Elm Street. In the end, the character who wins is different depending on when you travel through (I'll say I got Jason a lot more on my numerous run-throughs of the house than I did Freddy) . The Jasons in the house really are pretty tall and definitely sell the illusion that you are running into that character, the Freddys are only ok. FvJ is another one of my favorite houses in HHN history. 8.5/10
Body Collectors: Recollections- The house is a mixture of The Body Collectors and Shadybrook Asylum. During a fierce winter storm, the Body Collectors lay siege to Shadybrook Asylum, torturing the staff, the inmates and us. The house had a few very well executed scares (like the headless man), but the reason I kept returning was for the beautiful environment they had built inside. Shadybrook's hallways are beautiful, and we enter in through the entrance (a gorgeous facade) during a fierce blizzard (Lots of snow sprinkles, and a lowered temperature/cool breeze). This was easily my personal favorite house of the event. I'd rate it about on the same level as Winter's Night. 9/10
Insidious- Travel into The Further and contend with The Black Bride, Darth Maul demon, The Man Who Can't Breathe, and Mother Death as various scenes from all three Insidious films are recreated. This house is one of the scariest houses I can remember ever walking through. The scares come fast and constant, and the house itself feels long. I'm unashamed to say that this house got me good (every encounter with Darth Maul demon freaked me out, plus there was a scene where hands reached through walls to touch you. I also LOVED how filmed with fog both the outside and inside of the house was). Insidious definitely ranks in as one of the best houses in HHN history. 10/10
Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem- In this house, Jack takes us on a trip down memory lane as he recreates scenes from past houses like Winter's Night, Gothic, The Forsaken, The Hallow, Scary Tales, ScreamHouse, Legendary Truth:Wyandot Estate, Nightingales, and many more. For most newcomers, I'm sure the house must have felt disjointed or just didn't make sense, but for those who are loyal fans, Monster and Mayhem is just about a perfect house. It's not as scary as Insidious, but it is the most fun house of the night. It was always a joy to re-visit some of my favorite houses from the past. 10/10
HHN 26 was also host to quite a lot of sexual harassment from park visitors, who would grope and tease various scare actors. Many people got in trouble, and many scare actors just couldn't handle it anymore and quit. Let's hope they find some way to decrease the amount of these attacks in oncoming years. That nasty bit of business aside, was HHN 26 the best event in recent memory? Well, quite possibly. I still ascertain that HHN 21 was the best event in terms of house quality, But HHN 26 could easily be viewed as the best one overall in quite some time. I know I had an absolute blast, and eagerly await to see what demons and monsters they can scare up next year. Till next Haunting Season, this is you Ghost Host with the most most signing off.
Zone ranking
1. Evil's Roots (8/10)
2. Roaming Clowns (8/10)
3.Psychoscareapy: Unleashed (8/10)
3. All Nite Die-In: Double Feature (7/10)
4. Icons: HHN (7/10)
5. Scary Tales: Screampunk (6/10)
6. Roaming Prisoners (4/10)
House Ranking
1. Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem (10/10)
2. Insidious (10/10)
3. Body Collectors: Recollections (9/10)
4. Freddy Vs. Jason (8.5/10)
5. The Purge (8/10)
6. Asylum in Wonderland (7/10)
7. Run: Blood, Sweat and Fears (6/10)
8. Walking Dead: The Living and The Dead (6/10)
9. American Werewolf in London (5/10)
Overal Event Rating: 9/10
2015 was a big year for HHN as the event turned 25. To celebrate, the forces that be decided to dust off a fan favorite Icon; Jack The Clown; and have him return to host this year's event. I'm honestly just glad we finally have an icon again. HHN 25 was in great shape, and I managed to go so many times I honestly lost count. Among the other activities I got to do was Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit at night (one of my favorite times to ride the coaster), Mummy, Gringotts, and Diagon Ally and London at night (for the first time , absolutely gorgeous). With that out of the way, let's talk about Shows first.
The Carnage Returns: Jack's Back, and he's bringing the carnage with him in a stage show where audience members get to watch, cheer, and laugh as victims are slaughtered on stage. The whole show was an absolute blast to watch, and the new acrobatics impressed. The music they chose to play for the pre-show (which had timed blasts of flame shooting off to the music) was great as well. Jack was a fantastic ring leader, and it was cool to finally see what I had been missing out on. If Jack does make a return next year, give him another show. 9/10
Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure: Bill and Ted return with Doc Brown (in a cameo), to find that Kanye and Kim have stolen their phone booth and altered the future so that Kanye is a pop culture GOD who is disposing of famous pop culture icons left and right. Will our heroes come out most triumphant or will things end bogusly? This was one of the pair's middling shows to be honest. I felt that Kanye made the PERFECT villain, the opening sequence was great, and there were several really funny parts but there were still quite a few bits that missed the mark.
I did get to see the Final show, and my thoughts follow- Crowds for show extended back to London. They played Final Countdown shortly before opening gates. Opening number had a lot more improv, including husband and wife gyrating on stage while saying Hard....Rock (Etc etc etc). When husband says BnT is a musical he added: "Like Rocky Horror". Doc Brown got a standing ovation and gave Bill and Ted a hug. Both Bill and ted ran around the front of the theater high giving the whole front row. Whole audience shouted Shia Labeouf's Just Do It speech and Bill commented that it looks like Shia had created a cult. One of the times BnT did their signature hand move the music didn't play, and they both looked around and frowned. Avatar Land man did sex tail joke to Bill instead of Ted. Extended gag about who else has ruined pop culture instead of BnT, they both pull out a list of paper and start spouting off famous duos including Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton. Scarlett Widow full on made out with Bruce Banner at end of Dance Fight. Ted made a jab at Scarlett Widow. calling her Charlotte's Web. Bill told Jon Snow of course he knows Jon Snow is dead, he's a time traveler and is on Season 12. Lady from jurassic World came out in crocks instead of high heels. Ted said he's not Keanu Reeves after Jem and The Hologram's insult, he's really John Wick. Whole audience shouted along with Kanye: "I got no strings, Bill and Ted! I got no strings!". Great joke about Black Widow stepping on Ant-Man. When cap protests Black Widow compares the size of his package to the size of Ant-Man. Princess Leia appeared in her slave outfit instead of her regular get-up. Show ended with a heartfelt thanks from ted to all the fans, calling us Wyld Stallions. Show closed with Power of Love as the exit music. Needless to say, the final show blew all the regular shows out of the water.
Final Show: 10/10
Regular Show: 6/10
ZONES
ICONS: HHN- In this zone The Caretaker, The Director, The Usher, and The Storyteller all get their own stages and mini-shows where they kill off one victim. It's an entertaining zone that leads up to the stage for The Carnage Returns. I saw every mini-show, and I've got to say my favorite was The Director's. 7/10
All Nite Die-In: Double Feature- This zone controlled the area in front of Disaster. It has an interesting concept for a zone: a double feature. One set is black-and-white classic monsters like Frankenstein's Monster, Frankenstein, Igor, The Wolfman, A Gypsy, The Invisible Man, etc. The other set consists of colorized contemporary monsters like Chucky, Freddy, Jason, Bride of Chucky, Carrie, etc. It's not the most well-themed zone but getting to meet some of your favorite movie monsters is always a treat. 7/10
Roaming Clowns: A bunch of crazed chainsaw wielding clowns haunt the area by The Simpsons. Every time I traveled through, they managed to always freak me out. The scare actors were all very dedicated to their roles and were pretty relentless in their efforts to scare you. First roaming horde that I've ever found effective. 8/10
Roaming Prisoners: A gang of escaped inmates wielding chainsaws stalk the area around Transformers. This was more so your typical roaming horde. Not very scary. 4/10
Scary Tales: Scream Punk- This zone took over the area by Despicable Me and Shrek 4D. There wasn't much theming except for a giant prop that would emit copious amounts of fog. The characters (Steampunk versions of fairy tale characters) were terrifically designed and managed to get a few scares. 6/10
Psychoscareapy: Unleashed- This zone took over the New York area. A Shadybrook Asylum bus has crashed, unleashing all the crazy inhabitants into the town which they quickly take control of, murdering citizens, torturing visitors and just generally running completely amok. The zone was very well themed and the scare actors were all invested in their roles. It was fun to walk through this zone and just watch the scare actors do their thing. One of them (a girl) came up to me and, without breaking character, told me that she knew me from high school. It was a very cool moment for me. 8/10
Evil's Roots- This zone took over the Central Park area, and did the same thing most zones in this area do: Pump up the fog, add some pretty set decorations, and utilize creepy lighting. I LOVED this zone (although it really reminded me of Grown Evil at times). The characters consist of various different street characters from past years, and the zone itself is themed to an overgrown garden/forest. On the right nights, the fog would be so thick that you couldn't see a few feet in front of you, setting up some great scares and creating a fantastic sense of unease and tension as you never knew what or who lay ahead of you. 8/10
HOUSES
RUN: Blood Sweat and Fears- A sequel house to 2001's RUN. In this house, we are the unwilling participants of a game show where contestants are literally forced to run for their lives as crazed killers give chase. I loved the queue music (all 80's classics),the queue video, the theme, the story, and the facade for this house. However, once you step foot inside it all kind of falls apart. The theming inside is scattered and it's hard to follow exactly what is going on unless you travel through several times. I still say it's a fun house, but it's not scary. 6/10
The Walking Dead: The Living and The Dead- This is what, the 4th year we've had a Walking Dead house?! Enough is enough already! The house completely fails to breathe life into its tired concept. I will say the sets were very nice inside, and I definitely felt like I had entered the world of the show....but I just wasn't scared inside it. Oh well. 6/10
American Werewolf in London: A repeat of the same house from 2013, but with a less dedicated cast and lessened SFX and jump scares. I'm not alone in thinking that the original house was better. Apparently on the last night I thought the house had come a long way and was very intense for a change. 5/10
Asylum in Wonderland- Alice has lost her mind and is now locked in an asylum. Travel through her warped world, and see things as she does, with the assist of some 3D glasses. I really liked this house. It's nowhere near as amazing as The In-Between from 2011, but it did manage to remind me of that house at times (definitely a positive). There were definitely some scenes that freaked me out, and I dug the simple but cool story of the house. 7/10
The Purge- This house started out pretty weak but just got stronger as the event rolled on. Originally slated to be a house themed to Scream (the tv show), Purge allows us to explore a night during The Purge. I had a lot of fun with this house, and walking through it always left me pretty happy (I'm a big Purge fan, what can I say?). This is the only house where I jumped into a wall twice. The first time was into a corner of a wall, banged my shoulder real good. I also got to assist with one of the kills: I got a plant in front of me (someone sent into the line who is part of the house but looks like a regular park goer). I pointed at her to the scare actor who was going to grab her. He looked at me and nodded, as if he wanted me to confirm. I nodded back at him, then he grabbed her. It was a great little play-acting moment. It is cleat in some rooms that the house was supposed to be Scream at first but was changed to Purge late in the game as the beginning is clearly the house from Scream (with character mannequins), and there are some rooms that are covered in strobes (most strobes I've seen in a house in a while). That said, the cast brings a high-energy intensity and insanity to the house that really helped things, and I'll say that ignoring the first few Scream rooms, I really did feel like I was traveling through The Purge. 8/10
Freddy Vs. Jason- In this house, we get to walk through our own, personal version of Freddy vs. Jason. We enter through Camp Crystal Lake and get to explore that setting for a few rooms before switching over to the Elm Street house via a fully realized facade we get to walk into around half-way through the house (so very cool). We explore that setting for a few rooms before we get to jump between the lake at Camp Crystal Lake (even going underwater at one point) and the boiler room in Nightmare on Elm Street. In the end, the character who wins is different depending on when you travel through (I'll say I got Jason a lot more on my numerous run-throughs of the house than I did Freddy) . The Jasons in the house really are pretty tall and definitely sell the illusion that you are running into that character, the Freddys are only ok. FvJ is another one of my favorite houses in HHN history. 8.5/10
Body Collectors: Recollections- The house is a mixture of The Body Collectors and Shadybrook Asylum. During a fierce winter storm, the Body Collectors lay siege to Shadybrook Asylum, torturing the staff, the inmates and us. The house had a few very well executed scares (like the headless man), but the reason I kept returning was for the beautiful environment they had built inside. Shadybrook's hallways are beautiful, and we enter in through the entrance (a gorgeous facade) during a fierce blizzard (Lots of snow sprinkles, and a lowered temperature/cool breeze). This was easily my personal favorite house of the event. I'd rate it about on the same level as Winter's Night. 9/10
Insidious- Travel into The Further and contend with The Black Bride, Darth Maul demon, The Man Who Can't Breathe, and Mother Death as various scenes from all three Insidious films are recreated. This house is one of the scariest houses I can remember ever walking through. The scares come fast and constant, and the house itself feels long. I'm unashamed to say that this house got me good (every encounter with Darth Maul demon freaked me out, plus there was a scene where hands reached through walls to touch you. I also LOVED how filmed with fog both the outside and inside of the house was). Insidious definitely ranks in as one of the best houses in HHN history. 10/10
Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem- In this house, Jack takes us on a trip down memory lane as he recreates scenes from past houses like Winter's Night, Gothic, The Forsaken, The Hallow, Scary Tales, ScreamHouse, Legendary Truth:Wyandot Estate, Nightingales, and many more. For most newcomers, I'm sure the house must have felt disjointed or just didn't make sense, but for those who are loyal fans, Monster and Mayhem is just about a perfect house. It's not as scary as Insidious, but it is the most fun house of the night. It was always a joy to re-visit some of my favorite houses from the past. 10/10
HHN 26 was also host to quite a lot of sexual harassment from park visitors, who would grope and tease various scare actors. Many people got in trouble, and many scare actors just couldn't handle it anymore and quit. Let's hope they find some way to decrease the amount of these attacks in oncoming years. That nasty bit of business aside, was HHN 26 the best event in recent memory? Well, quite possibly. I still ascertain that HHN 21 was the best event in terms of house quality, But HHN 26 could easily be viewed as the best one overall in quite some time. I know I had an absolute blast, and eagerly await to see what demons and monsters they can scare up next year. Till next Haunting Season, this is you Ghost Host with the most most signing off.
Zone ranking
1. Evil's Roots (8/10)
2. Roaming Clowns (8/10)
3.Psychoscareapy: Unleashed (8/10)
3. All Nite Die-In: Double Feature (7/10)
4. Icons: HHN (7/10)
5. Scary Tales: Screampunk (6/10)
6. Roaming Prisoners (4/10)
House Ranking
1. Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem (10/10)
2. Insidious (10/10)
3. Body Collectors: Recollections (9/10)
4. Freddy Vs. Jason (8.5/10)
5. The Purge (8/10)
6. Asylum in Wonderland (7/10)
7. Run: Blood, Sweat and Fears (6/10)
8. Walking Dead: The Living and The Dead (6/10)
9. American Werewolf in London (5/10)
Overal Event Rating: 9/10
Monday, February 29, 2016
THE OSCARS....WTF?!
The Oscars were last night and, as usual, I watched the show from the beginning to the end. Here are my thoughts.
- Chris Rock was not a good host. The Oscars So White commentary and jokes did not go well at all. It was constant, and very, very offensive. There was a brief video segment where Rock interviewed black moviegoers and they revealed they hadn't seen or heard of any of the Best Picture nominees, but they had seen and loved Straight Outta Compton (Thus making everyone he interviewed look terrible. Talk about racism, Sheez!). He also stopped the show to peddle Girl Scout cookies for his girls. It could have been cute, but it came across (to me at least) as more self-serving. I will say he had a fantastic opening monologue, bur that was about it. This was an opportunity to bring people together and apologize for the whitewashing at The Oscars this year (which really was blown completely out of proportion in my opinion), but instead The Oscars chose to divide. The whole show felt like fuck you whitey, and it honestly turned me off.
-Louis C.K. had the best presenter speech of the night for Documentary Short. I would love to see him host one year.
- The president of The Academy came out to apologize about Oscars So White. This was really all they needed to do about the whitewashing. Her speech was short, to the point, and very well done.
- Gaga's performance of Til It Happens To You was a real show stopper. The fact that The Academy gave the award for best song to Sam Smith's The Writing on The Wall instead was bogus ( Not a good song, and easily one of the worst Bond themes). I will say it was bizarre to see Smith come out as gay during his acceptance speech.
- -Alicia Vikander walked away with an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. I really love this gal. Last year was her first year on the scene, and that she got an Oscar so soon is very impressive. Keep your eyes on her, I'm expecting great things.
-Ennio Morricone won for Best Score. He deserved it! Loved his acceptance speech.
- For a while there I really thought that Mad Max could walk away with Best Picture and Best Director (Spoilers, it didn't). Max swept a good portion of The Oscars, winning awards for Best Makeup, Best Sound Editing, Best Production Design, Best Film Editing, Best Sound Mixing, and Best Costume Design. What A Lovely Day, I guess.
- Ex Machina won the award for Best Visual Effects, and I think it was well deserved. Nice to see that film get some recognition.
-Really happy that Big Short won Best Adapted Screenplay, that film definitely deserved it. For Best Original Screenplay I was hoping Ex Machina would win, but they gave it to Spotlight instead.
- Best Cinematography went to The Revenant....ok. It was a beautiful film, but I still feel that Mad Max or Hateful Eight should have won.
- Really pissed about Inarritu winning Best Director. I'm finally going to come out and say it: I hate this guy. He mistakes being overly artsy as having real quality in a film. The Revenant was a film that was bloated and over-long (absolutely NO REASON that it needed to be three hours. NO REASON!!!!). I get that he wanted the film to be a transcendent experience for the audience and the characters, but by the time the end finally rolled around I found that I had stopped caring and just wanted to leave. It was a film filled with needlessly surreal, dream-like moments (It also really bothered me That Leo spoke mostly in a foreign language, but I'm not sure I fault Inarritu with that decision). Inarritu WAS NOT Best Director, he in no way deserved that award. He also took the time during his acceptance speech (completely ignoring the "hurry up and finish" music. Come on guys, CUT HIS MIC!) to comment on the Oscars So White thing, trying to make himself look relevant. Maybe you should JUST STOP Inarritu. UGH!
- Mark Rylance surprised everyone and usurped the award for Best Supporting Actor. He was great in his film, but I'm shocked that the award didn't go to Mark Ruffalo.
- Leo FINALLY won his Oscar. I still feel that Fassbender was the best out of the nominees, but Leo easily deserved this one for all the times he lost but should have won in the past. This was a moment six years in the making, and it felt so good to just sit there and watch him bask in it. His acceptance speech should be an example of the right way to do one. Enjoy your Oscar Leo, You deserve it.
-Spotlight won Best Picture. No shock. I had said in my Top 15 of '15 that I felt it was the highest quality film of last year, and I guess the Academy agreed. Cool!
So, there you have it, my full list of thoughts on The Oscars this year. Let's hope they learn their lessons and make a better show next year (with considerably less Chris Rock and Inarritu). Till Next time, Stay Classy!
- Chris Rock was not a good host. The Oscars So White commentary and jokes did not go well at all. It was constant, and very, very offensive. There was a brief video segment where Rock interviewed black moviegoers and they revealed they hadn't seen or heard of any of the Best Picture nominees, but they had seen and loved Straight Outta Compton (Thus making everyone he interviewed look terrible. Talk about racism, Sheez!). He also stopped the show to peddle Girl Scout cookies for his girls. It could have been cute, but it came across (to me at least) as more self-serving. I will say he had a fantastic opening monologue, bur that was about it. This was an opportunity to bring people together and apologize for the whitewashing at The Oscars this year (which really was blown completely out of proportion in my opinion), but instead The Oscars chose to divide. The whole show felt like fuck you whitey, and it honestly turned me off.
-Louis C.K. had the best presenter speech of the night for Documentary Short. I would love to see him host one year.
- The president of The Academy came out to apologize about Oscars So White. This was really all they needed to do about the whitewashing. Her speech was short, to the point, and very well done.
- Gaga's performance of Til It Happens To You was a real show stopper. The fact that The Academy gave the award for best song to Sam Smith's The Writing on The Wall instead was bogus ( Not a good song, and easily one of the worst Bond themes). I will say it was bizarre to see Smith come out as gay during his acceptance speech.
- -Alicia Vikander walked away with an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. I really love this gal. Last year was her first year on the scene, and that she got an Oscar so soon is very impressive. Keep your eyes on her, I'm expecting great things.
-Ennio Morricone won for Best Score. He deserved it! Loved his acceptance speech.
- For a while there I really thought that Mad Max could walk away with Best Picture and Best Director (Spoilers, it didn't). Max swept a good portion of The Oscars, winning awards for Best Makeup, Best Sound Editing, Best Production Design, Best Film Editing, Best Sound Mixing, and Best Costume Design. What A Lovely Day, I guess.
- Ex Machina won the award for Best Visual Effects, and I think it was well deserved. Nice to see that film get some recognition.
-Really happy that Big Short won Best Adapted Screenplay, that film definitely deserved it. For Best Original Screenplay I was hoping Ex Machina would win, but they gave it to Spotlight instead.
- Best Cinematography went to The Revenant....ok. It was a beautiful film, but I still feel that Mad Max or Hateful Eight should have won.
- Really pissed about Inarritu winning Best Director. I'm finally going to come out and say it: I hate this guy. He mistakes being overly artsy as having real quality in a film. The Revenant was a film that was bloated and over-long (absolutely NO REASON that it needed to be three hours. NO REASON!!!!). I get that he wanted the film to be a transcendent experience for the audience and the characters, but by the time the end finally rolled around I found that I had stopped caring and just wanted to leave. It was a film filled with needlessly surreal, dream-like moments (It also really bothered me That Leo spoke mostly in a foreign language, but I'm not sure I fault Inarritu with that decision). Inarritu WAS NOT Best Director, he in no way deserved that award. He also took the time during his acceptance speech (completely ignoring the "hurry up and finish" music. Come on guys, CUT HIS MIC!) to comment on the Oscars So White thing, trying to make himself look relevant. Maybe you should JUST STOP Inarritu. UGH!
- Mark Rylance surprised everyone and usurped the award for Best Supporting Actor. He was great in his film, but I'm shocked that the award didn't go to Mark Ruffalo.
- Leo FINALLY won his Oscar. I still feel that Fassbender was the best out of the nominees, but Leo easily deserved this one for all the times he lost but should have won in the past. This was a moment six years in the making, and it felt so good to just sit there and watch him bask in it. His acceptance speech should be an example of the right way to do one. Enjoy your Oscar Leo, You deserve it.
-Spotlight won Best Picture. No shock. I had said in my Top 15 of '15 that I felt it was the highest quality film of last year, and I guess the Academy agreed. Cool!
So, there you have it, my full list of thoughts on The Oscars this year. Let's hope they learn their lessons and make a better show next year (with considerably less Chris Rock and Inarritu). Till Next time, Stay Classy!
Thursday, February 11, 2016
THE MERC WITH A MOUTH GIVES SMALLS A HAPPY ENDING ;)
I've been waiting at least a good six years (maybe more) for this film. For a while there, I never thought that I'd ever get to see Deadpool on the big screen (Because, who would ever be crazy enough to make a Deadpool movie? Well, apparently the same studio that was crazy enough to sew his fucking mouth shut the first time around. It's ok Fox, all is forgiven). Well, happy birthday to me! Not only do we FINALLY have a Deadpool movie, it also doesn't suck (In fact, it's exactly the opposite of suck)!
Ex-special ops mercenary for hire Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) has a pretty good life with the perfect girl (named Vanessa, played by Morena Baccarin), until he learns he has a lethal form of cancer. When a shady man dressed all in black offers him a deal that would cure him of his cancer as well as gifting him with incredible powers, Wade agrees. Unfortunately, he learns the hard way that the people he has now signed his life away to plan on turning him into a mindless weapon. Long story short: Wade is tortured and his body and mind are scarred (although during the process he is gifted with incredible healing powers that easily outmatch Wolverine's). He manages to escapes, but finds he cannot face Vanessa looking the way he does, and so sets out to find the man who did this to him (a real douchebag named Francis who prefers to be called Ajax, played by Ed Skrein), pummel him to a pulp, and then force him to fix his face. Colossus (voiced by Stefan Kapicic) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) tag along in an attempt to keep a collar on Wade and maybe convince him to join the X-Men. Fun ensues.
All the actors do great jobs with the roles they have been given. Morena Baccarin takes what could be a thankless role and makes it truly memorable. She IS every nerd's dream girl, and manages to make her part feel like a real person (Man, I loved her). Ed Skrein plays the typical evil mad scientist villain, but he is also quite memorable. He has such a punch-able face, and I really did grow to hate this guy's guts by the end (in a good way *thumbs up*). Stefan Kapicic really surprised me as Colossus. I wasn't expecting much from the character but (here we go again), he really is quite memorable and has some really funny scenes (Colossus is a completely CGI creation, but it really did feel like Kapicic did more than just voice him). Brianna Hildebrand wasn't given a whole lot to do as Negasonic Teenage Warhead (she did have some cool powers though, and I did quite like her), and Gina Carano is essentially a non-prescence as Angel Dust (Francis' muscle). T.J. Miller also shows up as Wade's best friend Weasel, and is quite funny (Though, like Hildebrand and Carano, he isn't given much to do. I did really like him though).
Naturally, the real discovery here (Funny I say discovery, since Reynold's has had many years of acting on the big screen under his belt. That said, I really do feel like I saw a completely different side of him here) is Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool/Wade Wilson. Let's get one thing straight, Reynolds isn't playing Deadpool....He IS Deadpool. It's clear he is a gigantic fan of this character, and did a lot of research because he is able to perfectly embody Deadpool. This isn't a big screen interpretation of the character, this is the Deadpool we all know and love from the comics. He's been ripped out of the page and bitch-slapped onto the big screen (along with his trademark humor and fourth wall breaking, both of which are constant here).
Deadpool is exactly like reading a really good Deadpool comic. The film manages to perfectly capture the essence of the comics, and isn't afraid to poke fun at itself (There are numerous riffs on X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Green Lantern, Wolverine/Hugh Jackman, 20th Century Fox, Ryan Reynolds, and various other pop culture stuff). The CGI is actually pretty good, I wouldn't necessarily say impressive but it definitely holds up better than I thought it would. There was a decent amount of action scenes (Not as many as we normally get in a Marvel film, but I'd say there was enough) and for a low-budget film they were very impressive and definitely stayed true to the heart of Deadpool (There's a PERFECT fight between Deadpool and Colossus that had me and the entire rest of my theater, which was sold out, laughing).
Possibly, the most surprising thing about Deadpool is that it's got a fantastic, gooey heart at it's core. That's right, this film is actually a romance (for men). I loved that there is so much more to this film than just juvenile humor (which I did highly enjoy. Some may see it as a one-note joke....and it kind of is, but for me it never got old. This is what Deadpool has always been about anyways soooo...). In reality, this is a tale of a man looking for redemption, revenge, and acceptance. It's not just gut-wrenchingly hilarious (I laughed so hard and so frequently that not only did it hurt, I found it hard to catch my breath), it's also kind of beautiful.
Deadpool is everything Deadpool fans have been waiting for (AND SO MUCH MORE). I'd equate it to two hours of non-stop, incredible sex. If you are not a fan of Deadpool, you will likely not like (or maybe even hate) this film. If you aren't already acquainted with the character, I'd say this is a coin toss (50% chance you'll love it, 50% chance you won't). Obviously, I fall on the side of HOLY SHIT GUYS, THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER! Deadpool emerges as one of the most different, and unique Marvel films you can see (Ok, technically it's not really Marvel since Fox made it....I still say it counts though). I've got to say it guys: Deadpool is THE BEST Marvel film I have seen so far (It's certainly the most fun I've had with a Marvel film in a theater). There are some parts that are a bit slower (or not as interesting) as others, but that doesn't change the fact that this is EXACTLY what a Deadpool movie should be. SEE IT!
5 STARS
All the credit goes to writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, director Tim Miller, and Deadpool himself Ryan Reynolds.
This film has a KICK-ASS soundtrack!
Also: Make sure you stay till after the credits for one helluva awesome stinger!
Oh yeah, and don't bring your kids to Deadpool. This is a HARD R!
Ex-special ops mercenary for hire Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) has a pretty good life with the perfect girl (named Vanessa, played by Morena Baccarin), until he learns he has a lethal form of cancer. When a shady man dressed all in black offers him a deal that would cure him of his cancer as well as gifting him with incredible powers, Wade agrees. Unfortunately, he learns the hard way that the people he has now signed his life away to plan on turning him into a mindless weapon. Long story short: Wade is tortured and his body and mind are scarred (although during the process he is gifted with incredible healing powers that easily outmatch Wolverine's). He manages to escapes, but finds he cannot face Vanessa looking the way he does, and so sets out to find the man who did this to him (a real douchebag named Francis who prefers to be called Ajax, played by Ed Skrein), pummel him to a pulp, and then force him to fix his face. Colossus (voiced by Stefan Kapicic) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Brianna Hildebrand) tag along in an attempt to keep a collar on Wade and maybe convince him to join the X-Men. Fun ensues.
All the actors do great jobs with the roles they have been given. Morena Baccarin takes what could be a thankless role and makes it truly memorable. She IS every nerd's dream girl, and manages to make her part feel like a real person (Man, I loved her). Ed Skrein plays the typical evil mad scientist villain, but he is also quite memorable. He has such a punch-able face, and I really did grow to hate this guy's guts by the end (in a good way *thumbs up*). Stefan Kapicic really surprised me as Colossus. I wasn't expecting much from the character but (here we go again), he really is quite memorable and has some really funny scenes (Colossus is a completely CGI creation, but it really did feel like Kapicic did more than just voice him). Brianna Hildebrand wasn't given a whole lot to do as Negasonic Teenage Warhead (she did have some cool powers though, and I did quite like her), and Gina Carano is essentially a non-prescence as Angel Dust (Francis' muscle). T.J. Miller also shows up as Wade's best friend Weasel, and is quite funny (Though, like Hildebrand and Carano, he isn't given much to do. I did really like him though).
Naturally, the real discovery here (Funny I say discovery, since Reynold's has had many years of acting on the big screen under his belt. That said, I really do feel like I saw a completely different side of him here) is Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool/Wade Wilson. Let's get one thing straight, Reynolds isn't playing Deadpool....He IS Deadpool. It's clear he is a gigantic fan of this character, and did a lot of research because he is able to perfectly embody Deadpool. This isn't a big screen interpretation of the character, this is the Deadpool we all know and love from the comics. He's been ripped out of the page and bitch-slapped onto the big screen (along with his trademark humor and fourth wall breaking, both of which are constant here).
Deadpool is exactly like reading a really good Deadpool comic. The film manages to perfectly capture the essence of the comics, and isn't afraid to poke fun at itself (There are numerous riffs on X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Green Lantern, Wolverine/Hugh Jackman, 20th Century Fox, Ryan Reynolds, and various other pop culture stuff). The CGI is actually pretty good, I wouldn't necessarily say impressive but it definitely holds up better than I thought it would. There was a decent amount of action scenes (Not as many as we normally get in a Marvel film, but I'd say there was enough) and for a low-budget film they were very impressive and definitely stayed true to the heart of Deadpool (There's a PERFECT fight between Deadpool and Colossus that had me and the entire rest of my theater, which was sold out, laughing).
Possibly, the most surprising thing about Deadpool is that it's got a fantastic, gooey heart at it's core. That's right, this film is actually a romance (for men). I loved that there is so much more to this film than just juvenile humor (which I did highly enjoy. Some may see it as a one-note joke....and it kind of is, but for me it never got old. This is what Deadpool has always been about anyways soooo...). In reality, this is a tale of a man looking for redemption, revenge, and acceptance. It's not just gut-wrenchingly hilarious (I laughed so hard and so frequently that not only did it hurt, I found it hard to catch my breath), it's also kind of beautiful.
Deadpool is everything Deadpool fans have been waiting for (AND SO MUCH MORE). I'd equate it to two hours of non-stop, incredible sex. If you are not a fan of Deadpool, you will likely not like (or maybe even hate) this film. If you aren't already acquainted with the character, I'd say this is a coin toss (50% chance you'll love it, 50% chance you won't). Obviously, I fall on the side of HOLY SHIT GUYS, THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER! Deadpool emerges as one of the most different, and unique Marvel films you can see (Ok, technically it's not really Marvel since Fox made it....I still say it counts though). I've got to say it guys: Deadpool is THE BEST Marvel film I have seen so far (It's certainly the most fun I've had with a Marvel film in a theater). There are some parts that are a bit slower (or not as interesting) as others, but that doesn't change the fact that this is EXACTLY what a Deadpool movie should be. SEE IT!
5 STARS
All the credit goes to writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, director Tim Miller, and Deadpool himself Ryan Reynolds.
This film has a KICK-ASS soundtrack!
Also: Make sure you stay till after the credits for one helluva awesome stinger!
Oh yeah, and don't bring your kids to Deadpool. This is a HARD R!
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
SMALLS' TOP 15 OF 2015
It's that time of year again folks! The time where I get to talk about what I consider to be THE BEST FILMS OF THE YEAR!!!! This is probably the toughest year I've had to do this. I've waged wars inside my head between films, and have re-edited and refined this list countless times till I felt satisfied with it. Before we count down the top 15, let's start with some honorable mentions.
Krampus- Michael Dougherty's follow-up to Trick r' Treat is very fun, but is hurt a good deal by it having a PG-13 rating forced on it. Luckily the ending is different and dark (VERY dark), and the practical effects and creature designs are superb and chilling. If you want a different kind of Christmas film (one with horror influences), Krampus is definitely the way to go.
Tomorrowland- The rare original film in a time where copy-and-paste is the norm. Not only that, but it also offers us a look at a utopian future that COULD BE.....if we have the strength to feed the right wolf (optimism for the win!). Yes, some elements could have fleshed out or explained better, and what we find once we finally get to Tomorrowland (The film is more of a different kind of road trip film for most of its run time) is kind of disappointing. That said, I love the film's hopeful message and the cast assembled all do a great job. Tomorrowland is a fun little diversion (I also finally got one of those pins).
Star Wars: The Force Awakens- Oh, I can already hear the angry BOOS. Yes, yes, shame on me for not putting this film on the best of the year list. Well, it's a real sign of a quality year when a film that's this good had to be reluctantly left on the side because there just wasn't enough room for it. Yes, this film is great. It's also very fun. I agree that a lot here does feel VERY familiar, but that doesn't change the fact that this is still a highly entertaining and nostalgic outing (that brings us a new kick-ass villain).
And now.....THE LIST
15. DOPE- FINALLY, a film that lives up to it's title. Dope is indeed very dope! Shameik Moore (as Malcolm, our lead) is a superstar, Blake Anderson (from Workaholics, he plays Will) is fantastic as well, and Chanel Iman (as Lily) has a very nice body. The film itself manages to take viewers on a hectic, fun, and cool ride. I like that its main character is a geek who's goals are to go to Harvard, avoid gangs, stay out of trouble and start his own band. The film also celebrates people's individuality and how those who don't fit in may have a foot above the others. Dope is sure to leave you feeling high.
14. THE GIFT- Not your ordinary thriller. This is a DARK film, that goes to some pretty dark and surprising places at times. It's also tense and suspenseful as hell. I would equate this to the experience I had reading Gone Girl. The Gift is a film that enjoys teasing, taunting, and playing with viewers. All the actors do fantastic jobs, and Joel Edgarton should be commended for pulling off what must have been a difficult balancing act writing, directing, and acting in this film. If you like thrillers, I'd say you'll likely love this film.
13. JURASSIC WORLD- I know there's a faction of people out there that REALLY did not enjoy this film. I am not one of them. It's not a perfect film, and there are definitely some flaws here....but they managed to create a Jurassic World that felt real and lived in. I honestly forget that these are sets I'm watching. I've waited for 22 LONG years for a good Jurassic Park sequel, and for my money Jurassic World more than fits the bill. It pays homage and respect to the original classic, staying true to the main themes of Jurassic Park while still managing to find ways to have tons of fun on it's own. I've seen Jurassic World numerous times, and it still feels like I'm going home whenever I watch it. I love this film, and have absolutely no qualms putting it on my best of list.
12. KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE- A highly enjoyable ride. The film has some of the best scenes of the year, and the best Sam Jackson performance of the year as well (That's right, I said it. I think he's better here than he was in Hateful Eight). Great performances, great fun, and useful tips about what it takes to be a gentleman. Kingsman is definitely a memorable time. If you haven't seen it yet, stop what you're doing and check it out. It's worth it.
11. THE NIGHT BEFORE- Who would have ever guessed that the best comedy of this year would be a christmas film. Not only did this film have a fantastic message about friendship, it was also more fun than you could shake several sticks at. I saw it twice in theaters, and both times were some of the most memorable theatrical experiences I've had. What else can I say except The Night Before is definitely one film you would do well to add to your stocking (Plus, who doesn't love JGL playing a regular schmoe or Seth Rogen doing his best performance in years?).
10. SICARIO- A bleak, pitch dark, hopeless, disturbing, and violent movie. It is filled with an unrelenting tension and suspense, and aided by top notch performances from its cast (Del Toro was most certainly robbed at The Oscars this year, he deserved at least a nomination. Blunt was pitch perfect as well.). The cinematography by Roger Deacons is also superb. Sicario is almost a dark horror film, and it's definitely a tough watch, but I applaud it for handling it's subject matter in a mature, adult way. This is without a doubt Denis Villeneuve's best film.
9. MAD MAX: FURY ROAD- George Miller is 70 years old, but he can still direct a film like it's nobodies business as can be sampled with his latest outing. Mad Max: Fury Road is a return to form not just for Miller, but for the action/post-apocalyptic genre as well. There isn't much plot here (Never before has a trailer so accurately depicted what a film is....A big, long, crazy chase scene), but the action and characters speak for themselves. The cinematography by John Heale is superb and breathtaking (he also worked on Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone, Dead Poets Society, and Rain Man just to name a few). The world that George Miller and crew created here is gorgeous and just about fully realized ( a real achievement). Overall, Mad Max: Fury Road is a beautiful, delightfully insane film that is definitely worth checking out.
8. THE MARTIAN- I'm so happy that there is finally a film that makes science, space, NASA, and Mars cool again. The script sizzles (Thank you Drew Goddard), the acting is great all around (with the standouts being Matt Damon and Chiwetel Ejiofor), and the soundtrack is tops. Despite some real serious subject material (We're dealing with a man's struggle to survive despite almost insurmountable odds), The Martian manages to be a very funny and fun film. It's thoroughly enjoyable. It's also a notable film because we get to watch Ridley Scott rise like a Phoenix from the ashes. Could this be a new start for the once great director? Only time will tell, I suppose. The Martian is a phenomenal, moving, and touching film that is one of the ultimate tales of man vs. nature (Yupp, I'm gonna say this one is WAY better than The Revenant). It's handled like it's telling a true story, and indeed it does feel real. Not only will you laugh, you'll also find yourself on the edge of your seat, and heck, you may even shed a few tears. SCIENCE!
Krampus- Michael Dougherty's follow-up to Trick r' Treat is very fun, but is hurt a good deal by it having a PG-13 rating forced on it. Luckily the ending is different and dark (VERY dark), and the practical effects and creature designs are superb and chilling. If you want a different kind of Christmas film (one with horror influences), Krampus is definitely the way to go.
Tomorrowland- The rare original film in a time where copy-and-paste is the norm. Not only that, but it also offers us a look at a utopian future that COULD BE.....if we have the strength to feed the right wolf (optimism for the win!). Yes, some elements could have fleshed out or explained better, and what we find once we finally get to Tomorrowland (The film is more of a different kind of road trip film for most of its run time) is kind of disappointing. That said, I love the film's hopeful message and the cast assembled all do a great job. Tomorrowland is a fun little diversion (I also finally got one of those pins).
Star Wars: The Force Awakens- Oh, I can already hear the angry BOOS. Yes, yes, shame on me for not putting this film on the best of the year list. Well, it's a real sign of a quality year when a film that's this good had to be reluctantly left on the side because there just wasn't enough room for it. Yes, this film is great. It's also very fun. I agree that a lot here does feel VERY familiar, but that doesn't change the fact that this is still a highly entertaining and nostalgic outing (that brings us a new kick-ass villain).
And now.....THE LIST
15. DOPE- FINALLY, a film that lives up to it's title. Dope is indeed very dope! Shameik Moore (as Malcolm, our lead) is a superstar, Blake Anderson (from Workaholics, he plays Will) is fantastic as well, and Chanel Iman (as Lily) has a very nice body. The film itself manages to take viewers on a hectic, fun, and cool ride. I like that its main character is a geek who's goals are to go to Harvard, avoid gangs, stay out of trouble and start his own band. The film also celebrates people's individuality and how those who don't fit in may have a foot above the others. Dope is sure to leave you feeling high.
14. THE GIFT- Not your ordinary thriller. This is a DARK film, that goes to some pretty dark and surprising places at times. It's also tense and suspenseful as hell. I would equate this to the experience I had reading Gone Girl. The Gift is a film that enjoys teasing, taunting, and playing with viewers. All the actors do fantastic jobs, and Joel Edgarton should be commended for pulling off what must have been a difficult balancing act writing, directing, and acting in this film. If you like thrillers, I'd say you'll likely love this film.
13. JURASSIC WORLD- I know there's a faction of people out there that REALLY did not enjoy this film. I am not one of them. It's not a perfect film, and there are definitely some flaws here....but they managed to create a Jurassic World that felt real and lived in. I honestly forget that these are sets I'm watching. I've waited for 22 LONG years for a good Jurassic Park sequel, and for my money Jurassic World more than fits the bill. It pays homage and respect to the original classic, staying true to the main themes of Jurassic Park while still managing to find ways to have tons of fun on it's own. I've seen Jurassic World numerous times, and it still feels like I'm going home whenever I watch it. I love this film, and have absolutely no qualms putting it on my best of list.
12. KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE- A highly enjoyable ride. The film has some of the best scenes of the year, and the best Sam Jackson performance of the year as well (That's right, I said it. I think he's better here than he was in Hateful Eight). Great performances, great fun, and useful tips about what it takes to be a gentleman. Kingsman is definitely a memorable time. If you haven't seen it yet, stop what you're doing and check it out. It's worth it.
11. THE NIGHT BEFORE- Who would have ever guessed that the best comedy of this year would be a christmas film. Not only did this film have a fantastic message about friendship, it was also more fun than you could shake several sticks at. I saw it twice in theaters, and both times were some of the most memorable theatrical experiences I've had. What else can I say except The Night Before is definitely one film you would do well to add to your stocking (Plus, who doesn't love JGL playing a regular schmoe or Seth Rogen doing his best performance in years?).
10. SICARIO- A bleak, pitch dark, hopeless, disturbing, and violent movie. It is filled with an unrelenting tension and suspense, and aided by top notch performances from its cast (Del Toro was most certainly robbed at The Oscars this year, he deserved at least a nomination. Blunt was pitch perfect as well.). The cinematography by Roger Deacons is also superb. Sicario is almost a dark horror film, and it's definitely a tough watch, but I applaud it for handling it's subject matter in a mature, adult way. This is without a doubt Denis Villeneuve's best film.
9. MAD MAX: FURY ROAD- George Miller is 70 years old, but he can still direct a film like it's nobodies business as can be sampled with his latest outing. Mad Max: Fury Road is a return to form not just for Miller, but for the action/post-apocalyptic genre as well. There isn't much plot here (Never before has a trailer so accurately depicted what a film is....A big, long, crazy chase scene), but the action and characters speak for themselves. The cinematography by John Heale is superb and breathtaking (he also worked on Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone, Dead Poets Society, and Rain Man just to name a few). The world that George Miller and crew created here is gorgeous and just about fully realized ( a real achievement). Overall, Mad Max: Fury Road is a beautiful, delightfully insane film that is definitely worth checking out.
8. THE MARTIAN- I'm so happy that there is finally a film that makes science, space, NASA, and Mars cool again. The script sizzles (Thank you Drew Goddard), the acting is great all around (with the standouts being Matt Damon and Chiwetel Ejiofor), and the soundtrack is tops. Despite some real serious subject material (We're dealing with a man's struggle to survive despite almost insurmountable odds), The Martian manages to be a very funny and fun film. It's thoroughly enjoyable. It's also a notable film because we get to watch Ridley Scott rise like a Phoenix from the ashes. Could this be a new start for the once great director? Only time will tell, I suppose. The Martian is a phenomenal, moving, and touching film that is one of the ultimate tales of man vs. nature (Yupp, I'm gonna say this one is WAY better than The Revenant). It's handled like it's telling a true story, and indeed it does feel real. Not only will you laugh, you'll also find yourself on the edge of your seat, and heck, you may even shed a few tears. SCIENCE!
7. STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON- Straight Outta Compton is a biopic about NWA, and therefore we get the life stories (more or less) of Eazy E, Ice Cube, and Dr. Dre (It's almost like 4 bio pics rolled into one.....how cool is that?). O'Shea Jackson Junior plays Ice Cube, Corey Hawkins is Dr. Dre, and Jason Mitchell is Eazy E. All three are phenomenal in their roles and are real discoveries. Paul Giamatti is stellar as NWA's good hearted but somewhat shady manager Jerry Heller. We also get cool supporting performances from Keith Stanfield as Snoop Dogg and Marc Rose as Tupac. I will say the film is 2 hours and 31 minutes, and it does feel pretty long but it's all in the service of one of the finest, most powerful, moving and informative films of 2015 (I know I definitely learned some stuff I never knew before, and I'm all the better for it. You want to know how the phrase 'Bye Felicia' came about? You'll learn that and a whole lot more in this film). Some of the best scenes in film in 2015 are in Straight Outta Compton, as well as some of the best performances of 2015 as well. It's a damn shame that the film was basically robbed at the Oscars (It was only nominated for Best Original Screenplay when it should have popped up in several categories IMO). Straight Outta Compton is sure to please any music lover, lover of bio pics, or lovers of great films in general. It's one of the ultimate underdog stories.
6. THE HATEFUL EIGHT- Or, as I like to call it, H8ful. I am so glad I got to see this in 70 mm (complete with an overture, an intermission, and a take home program), and I would gladly see it again in this format. The Hateful Eight is a film about eight hateful people (in that they are fairly easy to dislike/hate) holed up in a general store together during a harsh winter. One or more are not who they say they are, and have murder and betrayal on their minds. That's all I'll say for the plot. The first act is a bit slow, and very dialogue heavy (I definitely noticed this more here than I have in other Tarantino films, characters also use the N word WAY TOO MUCH), but luckily the second act is superb, and shows Tarantino back in old form. All the characters are great, and some of the dialogue is strong. It's also shot and scored to perfection. The setting of Minnie's Haberdashery is a perfect one (possibly the best setting in a Tarantino film), what I wouldn't give for someone to re-create it so I could journey inside. The standouts for me acting wise were Walton Goggins (I consider him to be the best part of the film), Jennifer Jason Leigh, Tim Roth, Kurt Russell, Samuel L. Jackson, and Channing Tatum. I'd say that Hateful Eight was on the same level for me as Inglourious Basterds, maybe a bit better (H8ful was definitely tighter than Basterds was.). It's no surprise that this is a superb film, and marks the best we've seen Tarantino at in a while.
5. ROOM- There isn't much action in the film, and the first part (which all takes place in the room) is pretty hard to watch. However, once we enter the world, things get significantly better. In Room, Ma (Brie Larson) and her 5 year old son Jack (Jacob Tremblay) escape from a room where they had been held captive for a long time (Jack for his whole life and Ma for seven years). We follow them as Jack discovers, explores, and has to adapt to a world he didn't even know existed till now, and Ma struggles with her increasingly fragile mental state. Brie Larson does a great job, Joan Allen as her mother was fantastic, but Jacob Tremblay easily steals the entire show. I'd go so far as to say he was the best performance I've seen this year (It's a joy to watch him discover this new world for the first time). We also spend the most time with Jack as he is our eyes and ears into the movie, and he is the main character here. Room is a gentle, loving, sad, and life affirming film.
4. IT FOLLOWS- Without a doubt, this is the best American horror film I have seen in quite some time. It Follows crafts an simple, original, unique, and absolutely terrifying horror tale that comes with it's own unspoken mythology. Not only is it a sexual parable of sorts, it's also very much about the fear of growing older and death. It Follows is a film of slow, atmospheric terror that will crawl under your skin and stay there. This one will stick with you (I still always look behind me whenever I'm walking somewhere because of this film).
3. EX MACHINA- The best sci-fi film in years. Ex Machina stars three supremely talented indviduals (Alicia Vikander is super sexy, sympathetic, and mysterious; Domhnall Gleeson is fantastic, but it's Oscar Isaac's goofy but super cool performance that just about steals the show). The great Alex Garland writes and directs here, and he proves he is a force to be reckoned with. Ex Machina is a smart, scary, sexy thrill ride that will have you thinking and chewing on your fingernails from beginning to end.
2. SPOTLIGHT- A hard-hitting, factual, and emotional ride that doubles as a look into how the field of investigative journalism for print used to work. Some of the imagery is a bit haunting (plenty of shots of Catholic churches that loom over both our heroes and suburban houses), and there are a surprising amount of moments where the floor drops out from under you as the true scope and extent of the damage is revealed (A great example is the closing text crawl that left my jaw dropped in horror). Spotlight sheds light on one of the most important news stories of the past several decades, and it is to be commended for tackling it's subject material with passion while still remaining faithful to the truth of the story. Simply put: Spotlight is an incredible film. It's enough to make you mourn the death of print journalism. I'd say this is the highest quality film of 2015.
1. THE BIG SHORT- The Big Short was my favorite film of 2015, and what I consider to be the best. Not only does it tell an important story, it's also knows how to have some serious fun. Adam McKay proves he is a more than competent director here, he managed to craft a highly creative, intelligent and fun film (I'd say he deserves Best Director this year). All the actors do fantastic jobs, but it's Steve Carell and Ryan Gosling who just about steal the show as two very different people. Gosling is slimy but super cool, and Carell plays righteous indignation and outrage absolutely perfectly. I love that The Big Short made me feel involved in the proceedings, like I was a part of the film (helps that characters break the fourth wall a good deal). I had a blast with this and highly enjoyed it's unique visual style, but still walked away downright pissed about what occurred in '08 and how none of the guilty party was properly reprimanded. While it may be a bit messy and hectic, it's precisely because The Big Short so expertly manages to be both informative and entertaining that it ranks in at the top spot this year for me.
So, there you have it folks. 2015 was a damn good year for film, let's hope 2016 can match if not best it. Till next time, Stay classy and I'll see YOU at The Oscars!
Monday, February 1, 2016
THE BIG SHORT KNOWS HOW TO HAVE SOME SERIOUS FUN
The Big Short takes place from 2005-2008, and follows Jared Vennett (Ryan Gosling), Michael Burry (Christian Bale), Mark Baum (Steve Carell), Vinnie Daniel (Jeremy Strong), Charlie Geller (John Magaro), Jamie Shipley (Finn Wittrock), Danny Moses (Rafe Spall), Porter Collins (Hamish Linklater) and Ben Rickert (Brad Pitt) as each decides to bet against the housing market (All figured out that it was bound to fail), setting up separate funds in order to do so, hoping to make millions off of the ensuing inevitable collapse.
All of the actors do a fantastic job here. Jeremy Strong is great as the angry Vinnie Daniel. Brad Pitt is downright unrecognizable as Rickert, resembling more of a weird cross between Rainn Wilson and Nick Offerman. His character is an ex-banker who grew tired and disgusted with the system. His Rickert is arguably one of the better people, and has one of the best scenes in the film where he quickly puts two of our protagonists back in their place. Christian Bale does a quirky, memorable performance as Michael Burry. Burry was the first to predict that the housing market would fail. Bale plays him as almost an autistic savant of sorts.
For me, the clear standouts in the cast were Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling. Gosling's Jared Vennett is arguably the worst person out of the bunch. He is indeed one of the main players, but also acts as our narrator and guide, breaking the fourth wall a good deal to talk to us (Other characters do this as well). Gosling plays Jared with a slimy coolness, and I couldn't help but love his character despite the clear fact that he is not a nice guy. Carell's Mark Baum is more-or-less the "hero" of the film (and I use the term hero very, very loosely). Carell is electric here as the outraged Baum, who is disgusted with each sickening fact he discovers about the system he is betting against. He's the easiest character to get behind in the film, and we spend the most amount of time with him.
The film, in reality is devoid of any true good guys. All our protagonists happily shame the banks, corporations, and the system they created as fraudulent and corrupt....however, our protagonists in reality aren't much better than the people and system they are crusading against. They are betting against the American economy, are rejoicing in the fact that it's all about to fail, and are excited about the millions they stand to make in the fallout. Naturally, they start to change their tune when the collapse occurs and they see how much destruction and devastation ensues. I was surprised to find myself reluctantly taking our protagonists sides as the film went on. It's undeniably fun and fascinating to watch them uncover the facts of the situation.
Adam McKay directs, and does a downright phenomenal job. He's well aware that most regular schmoes like myself have zero knowledge about banks, the terms they use, or the way they work. Thus, he stops the film on occasion to present a cool aside which pairs a famous person, doing something cool in order to explain the term or practice to us. I won't even give any examples here, as to do so would ruin the cool little surprises this film has to offer. All I'll say is that each of these segments is bizarre but super fun.
McKay directs the film with an interesting stream of consciousness kind of editing. There are constant fast cuts, still shots, and inserts of music video clips, commercials, and news/interview clips. It's all done in an effort to keep the audience engaged, and for my money it works perfectly. I felt like I was honestly involved with the proceedings, like I was a part of the film. Needless to say, I feel he more than deserves to win Best Director this year.
The Big Short manages a seemingly hard task, but accomplishes it with relative ease: it makes banking fun. It's a lively, colorful film that easily engages audiences. It gets points from me for being unafraid to slow down every now and then to check on audiences and make sure they understand everything that is going on (It also drags a bit at points). The Big Short is a highly entertaining, fantastical, real life cautionary tale (Be prepared to leave more than a bit angry about what happened in '08, and at the banks and corporations that clearly only cared about themselves). It's an important, informative film that luckily, also knows how to have some serious fun. I have no problem with declaring it to be my favorite film of 2015, and also what I consider to be the absolute best of the best.
5 STARS
Some names were changed for the film
Mark Baum's real name is Steve Eisman
Jared Vannett's real name is Greg Lippman
Ben Rickert's real name is Ben Hockett
Jamie Shipley's real name is Jamie Mal
Charlie Geller's real name is Charles Ledley
Some names were changed for the film
Mark Baum's real name is Steve Eisman
Jared Vannett's real name is Greg Lippman
Ben Rickert's real name is Ben Hockett
Jamie Shipley's real name is Jamie Mal
Charlie Geller's real name is Charles Ledley
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