SMALLS GOES FOR A TREK IN THE BLACK HILLS FOREST WITH BLAIR WITCH

Blair Witch is a continuation of The Blair With Project. In 1994, Heather Donahue and her friends Joshua Leonard and Michael Williams trekked deep into the Black Hills Forest in Maryland for a documentary Heather was doing on Ellie Kedward aka The Blair Witch. They were never heard from again, but the footage they shot was recovered. Around 20 Years after Heather and crew vanished, a mysterious new video is discovered in The Black Hills Forest and uploaded to the internet. It shows a young woman frantically running through a house. James Donahue (Heather's younger brother, played by James Allen McCune)) has been keeping his eyes and ears open for any sign of his sister, and when he sees the new footage he becomes convinced that the house is the same house from the end of his sister's footage, and that the girl MUST be his sister. James' girlfriend Lisa (Callie Hernandez) is doing a documentary on him and his search for Heather. Together with their friends Peter (Brandon Scott) and Ashley (Corbin Reid), and with Burkittsville natives Lane (Wes Robinson) and Talia (Valorie Curry) leading the way, they decide to investigate The Black Hills Forest in search of that house and hopefully, Heather. Naturally, things don't go exactly as planned as the group find themselves traveling in Heather and friends' footsteps.

Blair Witch is directed by Adam Wingard and written by Simon Barrett (The duo behind such hits as You're Next and The Guest). They clearly have a great love for The Blair Witch Project, and are very knowledgable about The Blair Witch's rich backstory and mythology. The set-up is very cool, and when the characters go over the storied history of Ellie Kedward and her victims, the film doesn't get a single thing wrong. Blair Witch doesn't negate anything the original classic did, and actually adds a little bit to the mythology. As for the actors this time around, they all do a fine job (with my favorite character being James). Of course, I have to talk about The Blair Witch herself as well. She's more aggressive here and seems downright pissed. 

With the new technology we have today comes new forms of video recording equipment, which Blair Witch isn't afraid to use. We get over-the-ear-cameras (referred to as POV cams), webcams, drones, and hand-held video recorders. There is still a good deal of shaky cam here, but it's nice to get different angles and views instead of just relying on one source of video.

While The Blair Witch Project resembled an actual amateur documentary/student project, Blair Witch resembles more of a theatrical film. We see a bit more here than we did in the original, but a decent amount is still left in the shadows. Most of the film is pretty creepy, tense and weird but I honestly wasn't scared until the last act or so. For myself, I'd say I felt the first and last acts were the strongest parts of this film. While Blair Witch isn't as great as The Blair Witch Project was (and certainly won't have the impact the original did at the time it was released), this is still a faithful, fun, very cool, and worthwhile continuation of The Blair Witch Project. Blair Witch gets a solid recommendation from me, I'm sure fans of the original (like myself) will eat it up. 

3.5 STARS

IT'S TIME TO ROOT FOR THE BAD GUYS WITH SUICIDE SQUAD

In Suicide Squad, ruthless special agent Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) comes up with a novel idea: put together a squad composed entirely of bad guys (all expendable) that will be dispatched to deal with special threats . The members of the squad consist of Deadshot (Will Smith), Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney), Diablo (Jay Hernendez), Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), and June Moon/The Enchantress (Cara Delevingne). When one of the squad goes rogue with the intent of causing some serious global chaos, the rest are sent in to rescue Amanda Waller (who is in the city under siege) and contain the situation. Captain Rick Flagg (Joel Kinnaman) is assigned to keep a collar on the squad. Meanwhile, The Joker (Jared Leto) is hot on their trail, dead set on reuniting with his love.

I was genuinely looking forward to Suicide Squad. This was one of the rare films where I knew next to nothing about the plot or characters going in, and this excited me. What kind of ride would this film take me on? Would it be worth the price of admission?

Let's start with the bad: This film is poorly edited, plotted, scripted, and paced. The editing is very choppy at points, at others downright confusing. It's hard to get a sense of when exactly in the timeline this film takes place (Is it before or after Justice League Part One?). The stakes are never properly established, some of the squad have poor characterization, and some of the more brutal moments are blurry or shot in such a way to make them hard to make out. There are also times that characters act in ways that don't make complete sense in order to further the plot or action.

I've got to address the issue of Jared Leto's Joker. He isn't in the film much, and I could never really get a pulse on his character. He doesn't really do a lot in the present day, though I did dig his flashback scenes. We spend so little time with him that he barely gets to make an impression. Apparently most of his scenes were cut, so maybe he'll fare better in the unrated version.

While Suicide Squad is certainly not all that well made of a film, I still found it to be very fun. The film is stylish as hell, and it's soundtrack kicks all kinds of ass. I genuinely liked the squad members and the dynamics amongst them (Though the beef between Deadshot and Rick Flagg started to grate on my nerves after a while). Each member gets their own little backstory and some flashback scenes (which is appreciated, though some characters could have been fleshed out a little more, like Enchantress). I also liked that this is a film where we focus on the bad guys, and are encouraged to root for them.

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn was fantastic, and is the clear standout in the film. It's clear she's having a ton of fun with her role. The film handles the character of Harley pretty faithfully, and I felt her backstory was well done. Suicide Squad might as well be a Harley Quinn film. She dominates the screen whenever she's on, and is one hell of a memorable character (we even get a brief shot of her in the classic Harley outfit). I'd love to see more of Robbie's Harley in future films (Hell, maybe a stand alone film focusing just on her and Joker).

It was nice to see Jai Courtney not phoning it in for a change. I thought he was actually fun, and I really enjoyed his performance.Will Smith was good as Deadshot, while this isn't one of his best roles I will say he's more enjoyable here than in other recent films. He brings his old charisma and humor back for the character, but they don't completely fit at times. Viola Davis as Amanda Waller was great, she is threatening and morally questionable (A good thing that keeps true to the character we know, though to see my favorite versions of Deadshot and Amanda Waller watch season two of Arrow). I was also pretty impressed by Karen Fukuhara who plays Katana. It's a small role, but Fukuhara manages to make it bad-ass and memorable. 

I saw Suicide Squad in 2D, and as far as I could tell the film would likely be a complete mess in 3D. It's a dark film (as in brightness level), and the action scenes are shot in such a way that I could see 3D only making them that much harder to make out. I'd say just stick with 2D and save some cash.

Admittedly, Suicide Squad isn't a huge success. It definitely has its fair share of faults and shortcomings, but I found myself thoroughly enjoying the chaos and mayhem of the film and walked out pretty happy with what I got (I'd say the first half was stronger than the second half).  Suicide Squad is a film that is trying to do something different, and while it's not a complete success I would still say it's definitely worth checking out. I know I would gladly welcome a sequel.

3 STARS

MY INCREDIBLE THOUGHTS ON POPSTAR: NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING

In Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, we follow the Bieber-esque Connor Friel (AKA Conner4Real...get it? He's played by Andy Samberg) . In his youth, he was a member of a music group his friends and him created called The Style Boyz. Connor's ego got the best of him and he broke apart from the group to pursue a solo career. The other members went seperate paths with Owen (Jorma Taccone) staying with Connor as his DJ and Lawrence (Akiva Schaffer) moving out to the country to become a farmer. Conner's star seems to be rising until his 2nd album bombs hard, and he scrambles to find a way to stop his sudden fall from grace.

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is the first film from musical sensation The Lonely Island, and I can't tell you how much joy it brought me to see the words 'A Lonely Island film' appear on screen in the first few minutes of Popstar. Yes, I've been a fan of the group for quite some time and they bring the same comic sensibilities sampled in their various songs to the big screen. In other words, if you aren't a fan of the group's comedic style, there's a chance you won't like the film. If it wasn't already obvious, I loved the hell out of this film. It's done in mockumentary style (Think This Is Spinal Tap meets Katy Perry: Part of Me meets Justin Bieber: Never Say Never), and so finds a way to spoof the music documentary sub-genre, the entertainment/music industry, popstars, TMZ, big budget concerts, and even Snapchat.

Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer are all great on screen. They are long time friends in real life, and bring that same chemistry to the screen. Samberg plays the well-meaning, lovable buffoon perfectly (It's like the role he was born to play). Taccone is perfect as well as Conner's doofy best friend who only wants to reunite the old group. Schaffer is given significantly less screen time than the other members of Lonely Island, but is still great in his role as the angry, jaded Lawrence who was wronged by Conner in the past and has never gotten over it.

Popstar is filled with cameos from both celebrities and music stars, and to the film's credit the cameos never feel forced or shoe-horned in. They all feel very natural and organic, most are handled like talking heads who appear to comment on Conner's career trajectory and current antics and some are handled like supporting characters. The best ones for my money were Tim Meadows as Harry, Conner's manager, Chris Redd as the Kanye/Tyler The Creator-esque Hunter The Hungry, and Justin Timberlake as Conner's chef (who's character's name I could not find online).

Naturally, this being a Lonely Island film, Popstar is filled with numerous songs. Every single one is laugh out loud funny. The constant jokes also hit more often than they miss (THANK GOD!). Popstar is frequently hilarious, using The Lonely Island's brand of dumb, smart humor to comment on the entertainment industry and pop stardom. It's the rare film that uses dumb humor to say something pretty smart. In fact, I'd dare say the film is actually brilliant. Popstar runs at a swift 86 minutes. I left the theater wanting more (Hopefully they release an extended cut on Blu-Ray).

So, what are the negatives? Well, to be honest.....there aren't a lot. The film does slow down a bit at times and not every joke hits as hard as others although each one is funny enough in it's own right. Popstar is not a perfect film, but it is pretty damned great a large percentage of the time. I can't say if I'll remember most of the jokes from the film a few years down the line, but I am positive that I will remember the film as a whole (It's memorable).

Popstar is a film that certainly won't be to everyone's tastes. Either you like the SNL sketches of late and The Lonely Island's unique brand of humor, or you don't. For myself, I found the film to be extremely funny and quite smart. It's a film that is immensely entertaining and fun while you're watching it, and you can bet I'll be buying the album to hear the full version of the songs in the film (and to listen to the numerous other songs that didn't make the cut). Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping marks a promising debut for The Lonely Island, perfectly showcasing both their smarts and their humor. We need people like Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone and Andy Samberg in the world, people with a unique vision and voice. Let's hope that they decide to continue to make both songs and movies for a long time.

4.5 STARS

SMALLS ACCEPTS THE INVITATION

Will (Logan Marshall-Green) has suffered a great loss in his past and has never really moved on. He's got a new girlfriend (Kira, played by Emayatzy Corinealdi), but when both are invited to a dinner party by Will's ex-wife Eden (Tammy Blanchard) and her new husband (David, played by Michiel Huisman) , Will's growing paranoia about possible sinister motives for the get-together threaten to ruin the good times....unless he's right.

It's best to go into this film knowing little to nothing about it. That's how I walked into it and it greatly enhanced my viewing experience. So, I'll keep this short. Logan Marshall-Green and Tammy Blanchard are both fantastic in the film. One of the great things about this flick is that there is a very real possibility the threat of danger could just be in Will's head, as his inability to effectively cope with his loss is tampering with his judgement. We are never really sure if Will is the hero or a possible threat himself until the third act.

What are my complaints? Well, none really. The latter part of the third act can't really keep up with the momentum the film had built before, but there are still enough thrilling and tension/suspense filled moments to keep you thoroughly sucked in.

The Invitation is an intricately crafted puzzle box of sorts that is always twisting and turning. The film is filled with suspense and tension that both slowly build until a boiling point. This flick enjoys playing with viewer's heads, and it's sure to keep you guessing right until the end (and that final shot is downright haunting). I really enjoyed The Invitation and the twisty roller-coaster ride it took me on. I would highly recommend it, just don't walk in expecting a horror film as this is more of a psychological thriller/intense drama/mystery.

4.5 STARS

Karyn Kusama;who directed this film; also directed the terrible Jennifer's Body.

HARDCORE HENRY ADMINISTERS A SHOT OF ADRENALINE STRAIGHT TO THE JUGULAR

In Hardcore Henry, Henry awakens after being brutally murdered. His life jumpstarted by a beautiful woman named Estelle (Haley Bennett), who proceeds to upgrade him with cybernetic parts. She claims to be his wife, but Henry can't recall due to memory loss from his death. It doesn't take long before a wicked looking albino named Akan (Danila Kozlovsky) storms Estelle's lab, kidnapping her and having his goons taser poor Henry right off a bridge. With the help of a mysterious man named Jimmy (Sharlto Copley), Henry is going to go after Akan, rescue his wife, and reclaim his life.

Hardcore Henry lived up to my worst fears and greatest expectations. It is a live-action videogame movie, filled with testosterone and it follows a typical Mario Bros.-esque plot (Save the princess, or in this case, your wife). It's loud, dumb, violent, bloody, brutal, surreal, insane and tons of fun. Danila Kozlovsky makes for a cool villain, and Sharlto Copley nails his many roles perfectly (His Jimmy keeps coming back to life in a different form every time he dies, I won't explain why or how. Jimmy also has a very fun and goofy musical dance number set to I've Got You Under My Skin).  Indeed, his budding bro-mance with Henry is one of the stronger aspects of this film. I'd say this is my 2nd favorite role of Copley's.

The first person perspective is an inventive, original way to tell this story while putting us directly in Henry's shoes. The result is thrilling and dizzying (I don't normally get queasy in these types of film, but I did here a few times. Wasn't anything I couldn't shake off though). The action is almost non-stop, with very little breathing room in-between set pieces (very impressive stunt work). The only downside to the first person perspective is that it can feel like you are watching someone else play a video game at times (Please, just give me the damned controller). I was surprised at how well the you-are-Henry effect worked at times.

So, what are this film's issues? As I said before, the plot is fairly threadbare, dumb, and typical territory for a video game (but still cool). The script is bad in an action, B-Movie, 80's-esque, guy flick type of way. The villain lacks motivation (and his nifty telekinetic powers are never explained). The film also ends way too abruptly. In other words, it's bad in exactly the ways you'd expect it to be.

If you are an action movie junkie or a fan of video games, there's a chance you may enjoy Hardcore Henry. However, if you want your action film to have a plot, a decent script, character development, and a satisfying conclusion, maybe you'd do best to look somewhere else. For myself, I had an absolute, surreal blast with Hardcore Henry. It may not be a great film, but it's an awesome, unique experience (Kind of like Project X).

3.5 STARS

EDIT: I can only imagine how much crazier, immersive, and nauseating this film would be if viewed on the Oculus Rift.

BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: YAWN OF JUSTICE

I'm going to make this a list of complaints, much like my review of Transformers 2 (So yes, there will be HEAVY spoilers). Before I start complaining, let's quickly talk about what I liked:

THE GOOD:

-Zach Snyder is only good at directing action scenes.

- I feel really bad for all the actors here. I don't blame them at all. They are stuck in a bad film, and there is nothing they can do to save it.

- The sequence where we get to re-live the end of Man of Steel, except this time from ground level. I thought this was pretty cool, and it reinforced just how irresponsible Superman is/was.

- Ben Affleck was fine as Batman. I liked getting to watch him get pushed over the edge of sanity by Luthor.

- The last act was the best part of the film. Very entertaining; in a mindless, dumb, blockbuster kind of way. Doomsday battle was great, and Batman's takedown of around a dozen or more baddies in a building was great.  

- The action scenes all looked good, though there were moments where what was going on was hard to make out. Lots of good explosions though. .

- The 3D was passable...decent.

- I enjoyed Jesse Eisenberg's performance as Luthor. He plays him like an insane, mildly mentally disabled  (think Aspergers) yuppie billionaire. I never thought of him as Luthor, but I'd be lying if I said he didn't have me chuckling a few times.

- I liked the new Batsuit and Batmobile, also liked how they explained how Bruce Wayne disguises his voice as Batman.

- Gal Gadot was good as Wonder Woman (When she was in her costume).

- All the action takes place in mostly unpopulated areas. Near cities, yes....but the film doesn't seem to carry anywhere near the amount of deaths Man of Steel had. Still has A LOT of destruction though.

- I like that most of the film is about the powers that be trying to hold Supes accountable for the destruction he has caused previously.

- Holly Hunter may be the best actor here, though she is given little screen time.

Now, onto THE BAD:

- The film is trying to tell five different stories at the same time (It wants to be a Batman film, it wants to be a Superman film, it wants to be the catalyst for a Justice League Movie, It wants to have the battle from The Dark Knight Returns, and it wants to tell the story of The Death of Superman). By trying to tell all five simultaneously, it in turn fails to tell any single one of these stories properly. 

- The film lacks focus. This is both a Superman movie, and a Batman movie. It feels like two seperate movies forced into one single film, and they never coalesce or gel together all that well (It all feels very disjointed). It doesn't help that the film constantly jumps between our three leads (Lex Luthor, Batman, and Superman), never really letting any one character shine (Though I will say it feels like Superman gets the blunt end of the stick here compared to the other two). Between trying to tell 5 different stories in one film, and jumping between characters like it does, the film feels like it forgot to take it's ADHD pills. It all feels like one big mess.

- The film doesn't feel interested in what we came here to see. It's so obsessed with setting up a Justice League film, that the film it advertised itself to be (Bats vs. Supes) takes backstage to setting up a Justice League film.

- The film has zero plot. The first two acts are literally poor build-up (and kind of boring) to the big Bats vs. Supes fight WHICH ONLY LASTS 10 MINUTES TOPS, PROBABLY LESS THAN THAT (and what's worse, the fight really isn't all that great. Some cool parts in it, but it's too short and not as impressive and cool as you would have hoped The Doomsday battle is far, far superior....as is Batman's solo fight against Lex's goons).

- Superman dies at the end. He's only been Superman for a good two years in this movie's universe, that's not long enough for him to earn being killed off. It all feels very cheap and desperate, plus you know that they're just going to bring him back to life in Justice League Part One.

- Luthor loses his hair when it's shaved off in prison at the end of the film....soooooo, why does he decide to keep it shaved? It's just going to grow back in a little while. There is no reason for him to decide to keep it shaved. It makes NO SENSE. 

- Henry Cavil lacks the screen prescence or charisma to pull off the role of Superman. 'Nuff said.

- Doomsday doesn't look good

- Jimmy Olsen is executed early on in the film.

- Zack Snyder: GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU TALENTLESS HACK!!!! Whoo, that felt good. This film proves just how useless he is as a director. Batman Vs. Superman lacks direction (as can be evidenced by my many points above). He was unable to say no to the Studio's various demands. He acts here as more of a Yes Man than as an actual director, being nothing more than a lifeless puppet for the studio to do with as they please. He also lacked a vision for the film, it's the equivalent of a boy wanting to smash two toys together again and again and again, but he doesn't know how he wants them to clash and is told he has to create his own story for why they are clashing (his reasoning behind the clash? Batman is afraid of Supes and thinks he has too much power. He thinks Supes poses an immediate threat to planet Earth. Supes thinks Batman is out of control, but is more so interested in defaming him through The Daily Planet than by fighting him).

- The film opens with the death of Bruce Wayne's parents and his falling into a cave filled with bats. We've seen Batman's origins how many times on film now? Did you really think that audiences didn't know his backstory, Snyder? This was just a lack of self-control on Snyder's part in my opinion. He did this because he wanted to (Yet another reason he's a bad director, lack of self control). 

- So many nonsensical nightmares from Bruce Wayne. We know how he feels about Supes, we understand his fears. Did you really need to hammer us over the head with what are clearly nightmares from Batman, Snyder? It felt like Sucker Punch all over again, except the nightmares aren't even fun or imaginative (flying winged monster-soldiers? REALLY?!).

- Lois Lane exists as nothing else than to be an object to move the plot along.

- The film is completely nihilistic, cynical and dark.  It doesn't seem too fond of our heroes, painting Supes as a man who wants to do good but is deeply irresponsible and ineffective (Why are people worshipping this guy again? He causes so much damage in both Man of Steel and BvS, you'd think most would have denounced him by now) and Batman as a completely deranged madman who is hellbent on destroying Supes, even if it means resorting to murder and burglary in order to do so. Most of the movie is very dark and gloomy, and not much action takes place until the final 40 minutes or so. It's a VERY dark film that deals with adult themes (I would have liked this, if the film had been tighter, more focused, and just overall better). What I'm saying is it's not for kids or teens. 

- DC and WB have not earned their own DC Cinematic Universe. They want what Marvel has, but aren't willing to put in the time and effort necessary to create their own cinematic universe. It took Marvel eight years to build their universe, DC and WB try to do all that work in ONE SINGLE FILM. The result is about as good as you'd expect it to be, which is to say it's not....at all. They haven't earned this.

SUMMARY:

I had feared that BvS: DoJ would end up being another Spider-Man 3. A film that tried to do way too much and suffered for it. I was right, except that this film's heart is in completely the wrong place. It exists not to tell a story, but to act only as a stepping stone into a Justice League Movie and the start of the DC Cinematic Universe, which has not been earned at all. BvS:DoJ is a film that wants to have it's cake and eat it too. I say, don't let it.  This film is going to make a crap load of money, and it doesn't deserve a single cent of it. Also, Zach Snyder: Stop making movies you worthless hack.

1.5 STARS

HALLOWEEN IN MARCH: MY SUPER LATE REVIEW OF HHN 25

Hey there ghosties and ghoulies! Things were complicated regarding last year's Fright Fest (Computer was broken and I was busy in a new area). So, with that out of the way I bring you my review for HHN 25.

2015 was a big year for HHN as the event turned 25. To celebrate, the forces that be decided to dust off a fan favorite Icon; Jack The Clown; and have him return to host this year's event. I'm honestly just glad we finally have an icon again. HHN 25 was in great shape, and I managed to go so many times I honestly lost count. Among the other activities I got to do was Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit at night (one of my favorite times to ride the coaster), Mummy, Gringotts, and Diagon Ally and London at night (for the first time , absolutely gorgeous). With that out of the way, let's talk about Shows first.

The Carnage Returns: Jack's Back, and he's bringing the carnage with him in a stage show where audience members get to watch, cheer, and laugh as victims are slaughtered on stage. The whole show was an absolute blast to watch, and the new acrobatics impressed. The music they chose to play for the pre-show (which had timed blasts of flame shooting off to the music) was great as well. Jack was a fantastic ring leader, and it was cool to finally see what I had been missing out on. If Jack does make a return next year, give him another show.  9/10

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure: Bill and Ted return with Doc Brown (in a cameo), to find that Kanye and Kim have stolen their phone booth and altered the future so that Kanye is a pop culture GOD who is disposing of famous pop culture icons left and right. Will our heroes come out most triumphant or will things end bogusly? This was one of the pair's middling shows to be honest. I felt that Kanye made the PERFECT villain, the opening sequence was great, and there were several really funny parts but there were still quite a few bits that missed the mark.
  I did get to see the Final show, and my thoughts follow- Crowds for show extended back to London. They played Final Countdown shortly before opening gates. Opening number had a lot more improv, including husband and wife gyrating on stage while saying Hard....Rock (Etc etc etc). When husband says BnT is a musical he added: "Like Rocky Horror". Doc Brown got a standing ovation and gave Bill and Ted a hug. Both Bill and ted ran around the front of the theater high giving the whole front row. Whole audience shouted Shia Labeouf's Just Do It speech and Bill commented that it looks like Shia had created a cult. One of the times BnT did their signature hand move the music didn't play, and they both looked around and frowned. Avatar Land man did sex tail joke to Bill instead of Ted. Extended gag about who else has ruined pop culture instead of BnT, they both pull out a list of paper and start spouting off famous duos including Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton. Scarlett Widow full on made out with Bruce Banner at end of Dance Fight. Ted made a jab at Scarlett Widow. calling her Charlotte's Web. Bill told Jon Snow of course he knows Jon Snow is dead, he's a time traveler and is on Season 12. Lady from jurassic World came out in crocks instead of high heels. Ted said he's not Keanu Reeves after Jem and The Hologram's insult, he's really John Wick. Whole audience shouted along with Kanye: "I got no strings, Bill and Ted! I got no strings!". Great joke about Black Widow stepping on Ant-Man. When cap protests Black Widow compares the size of his package to the size of Ant-Man. Princess Leia appeared in her slave outfit instead of her regular get-up. Show ended with a heartfelt thanks from ted to all the fans, calling us Wyld Stallions. Show closed with Power of Love as the exit music. Needless to say, the final show blew all the regular shows out of the water.
Final Show: 10/10
Regular Show: 6/10

ZONES

ICONS: HHN- In this zone The Caretaker, The Director, The Usher, and The Storyteller all get their own stages and mini-shows where they kill off one victim. It's an entertaining zone that leads up to the stage for The Carnage Returns. I saw every mini-show, and I've got to say my favorite was The Director's. 7/10

All Nite Die-In: Double Feature- This zone controlled the area in front of Disaster. It has an interesting concept for a zone: a double feature. One set is black-and-white classic monsters like Frankenstein's Monster, Frankenstein, Igor, The Wolfman, A Gypsy, The Invisible Man,  etc. The other set consists of colorized contemporary monsters like Chucky, Freddy, Jason, Bride of Chucky, Carrie, etc. It's not the most well-themed zone but getting to meet some of your favorite movie monsters is always a treat. 7/10

Roaming Clowns: A bunch of crazed chainsaw wielding clowns haunt the area by The Simpsons. Every time I traveled through, they managed to always freak me out. The scare actors were all very dedicated to their roles and were pretty relentless in their efforts to scare you. First roaming horde that I've ever found effective. 8/10

Roaming Prisoners: A gang of escaped inmates wielding chainsaws stalk the area around Transformers. This was more so your typical roaming horde. Not very scary.  4/10


Scary Tales: Scream Punk- This zone took over the area by Despicable Me and Shrek 4D. There wasn't much theming except for a giant prop that would emit copious amounts of fog.  The characters (Steampunk versions of fairy tale characters) were terrifically designed and managed to get a few scares.  6/10

Psychoscareapy: Unleashed- This zone took over the New York area. A Shadybrook Asylum bus has crashed, unleashing all the crazy inhabitants into the town which they quickly take control of,  murdering citizens, torturing visitors and just generally running completely amok. The zone was very well themed and the scare actors were all invested in their roles. It was fun to walk through this zone and just watch the scare actors do their thing. One of them (a girl) came up to me and, without breaking character, told me that she knew me from high school. It was a very cool moment for me.  8/10

Evil's Roots- This zone took over the Central Park area, and did the same thing most zones in this area do: Pump up the fog, add some pretty set decorations, and utilize creepy lighting. I LOVED this zone (although it really reminded me of Grown Evil at times). The characters consist of various different street characters from past years, and the zone itself is themed to an overgrown garden/forest. On the right nights, the fog would be so thick that you couldn't see a few feet in front of you, setting up some great scares and creating a fantastic sense of unease and tension as you never knew what or who lay ahead of you. 8/10



HOUSES

RUN: Blood Sweat and Fears- A sequel house to 2001's RUN. In this house, we are the unwilling participants of a game show where contestants are literally forced to run for their lives as crazed killers give chase. I loved the queue music (all 80's classics),the queue video, the theme, the story, and the facade for this house. However, once you step foot inside it all kind of falls apart. The theming inside is scattered and it's hard to follow exactly what is going on unless you travel through several times. I still say it's a fun house, but it's not scary. 6/10

The Walking Dead: The Living and The Dead- This is what, the 4th year we've had a Walking Dead house?! Enough is enough already! The house completely fails to breathe life into its tired concept. I will say the sets were very nice inside, and I definitely felt like I had entered the world of the show....but I just wasn't scared inside it. Oh well. 6/10

American Werewolf in London: A repeat of the same house from 2013, but with a less dedicated cast and lessened SFX and jump scares. I'm not alone in thinking that the original house was better.  Apparently on the last night I thought the house had come a long way and was very intense for a change. 5/10


Asylum in Wonderland- Alice has lost her mind and is now locked in an asylum. Travel through her warped world, and see things as she does, with the assist of some 3D glasses. I really liked this house. It's nowhere near as amazing as The In-Between from 2011, but it did manage to remind me of that house at times (definitely a positive). There were definitely some scenes that freaked me out, and I dug the simple but cool story of the house. 7/10

The Purge- This house started out pretty weak but just got stronger as the event rolled on. Originally slated to be a house themed to Scream (the tv show), Purge allows us to explore a night during The Purge. I had a lot of fun with this house, and walking through it always left me pretty happy (I'm a big Purge fan, what can I say?). This is the only house where I jumped into a wall twice. The first time was into a corner of a wall, banged my shoulder real good. I also got to assist with one of the kills: I got a plant in front of me (someone sent into the line who is part of the house but looks like a regular park goer). I pointed at her to the scare actor who was going to grab her. He looked at me and nodded, as if he wanted me to confirm. I nodded back at him, then he grabbed her. It was a great little play-acting moment. It is cleat in some rooms that the house was supposed to be Scream at first but was changed to Purge late in the game as the beginning is clearly the house from Scream (with character mannequins), and there are some rooms that are covered in strobes (most strobes I've seen in a house in a while). That said, the cast brings a high-energy intensity and insanity to the house that really helped things, and I'll say that ignoring the first few Scream rooms, I really did feel like I was traveling through The Purge.  8/10

Freddy Vs. Jason- In this house, we get to walk through our own, personal version of Freddy vs. Jason. We enter through Camp Crystal Lake and get to explore that setting for a few rooms before switching over to the Elm Street house via a fully realized facade we get to walk into  around half-way through the house (so very cool). We explore that setting for a few rooms before we get to jump between the lake at Camp Crystal Lake (even going underwater at one point) and the boiler room in Nightmare on Elm Street. In the end, the character who wins is different depending on when you travel through (I'll say I got Jason a lot more on my numerous run-throughs of the house than I did Freddy) . The Jasons in the house really are pretty tall and definitely sell the illusion that you are running into that character, the Freddys are only ok. FvJ is another one of my favorite houses in HHN history.  8.5/10

Body Collectors: Recollections- The house is a mixture of The Body Collectors and Shadybrook Asylum. During a fierce winter storm, the Body Collectors lay siege to Shadybrook Asylum, torturing the staff, the inmates and us. The house had a few very well executed scares (like the headless man), but the reason I kept returning was for the beautiful environment they had built inside. Shadybrook's hallways are beautiful, and we enter in through the entrance (a gorgeous facade) during a fierce blizzard (Lots of snow sprinkles, and a lowered temperature/cool breeze). This was easily my personal favorite house of the event. I'd rate it about on the same level as Winter's Night. 9/10

Insidious- Travel into The Further and contend with The Black Bride, Darth Maul demon, The Man Who Can't Breathe, and Mother Death as various scenes from all three Insidious films are recreated. This house is one of the scariest houses I can remember ever walking through. The scares come fast and constant, and the house itself feels long. I'm unashamed to say that this house got me good (every encounter with Darth Maul demon freaked me out, plus there was a scene where hands reached through walls to touch you. I also LOVED how filmed with fog both the outside and inside of the house was). Insidious definitely ranks in as one of the best houses in HHN history. 10/10

Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem- In this house, Jack takes us on a trip down memory lane as he recreates scenes from past houses like Winter's Night, Gothic, The Forsaken, The Hallow, Scary Tales, ScreamHouse, Legendary Truth:Wyandot Estate, Nightingales, and many more. For most newcomers, I'm sure the house must have felt disjointed or just didn't make sense, but for those who are loyal fans, Monster and Mayhem is just about a perfect house. It's not as scary as Insidious, but it is the most fun house of the night. It was always a joy to re-visit some of my favorite houses from the past. 10/10


HHN 26 was also host to quite a lot of sexual harassment from park visitors, who would grope and tease various scare actors. Many people got in trouble, and many scare actors just couldn't handle it anymore and quit. Let's hope they find some way to decrease the amount of these attacks in oncoming years. That nasty bit of business aside, was HHN 26 the best event in recent memory? Well, quite possibly. I still ascertain that HHN 21 was the best event in terms of house quality, But HHN 26 could easily be viewed as the best one overall in quite some time. I know I had an absolute blast, and eagerly await to see what demons and monsters they can scare up next year. Till next Haunting Season, this is you Ghost Host with the most most signing off.

Zone ranking

1. Evil's Roots (8/10)
2.  Roaming Clowns (8/10)
3.Psychoscareapy: Unleashed (8/10)
3. All Nite Die-In: Double Feature (7/10)
4. Icons: HHN (7/10)
5. Scary Tales: Screampunk (6/10)
6. Roaming Prisoners (4/10)


House Ranking

1. Jack Presents: 25 Years of Monsters and Mayhem (10/10)
2. Insidious (10/10)
3. Body Collectors: Recollections (9/10)
4. Freddy Vs. Jason (8.5/10)
5. The Purge (8/10)
6. Asylum in Wonderland (7/10)
7.  Run: Blood, Sweat and Fears (6/10)
8. Walking Dead: The Living and The Dead (6/10)
9. American Werewolf in London (5/10)

Overal Event Rating: 9/10