FRIGHT FEST: SMALLS TRAVELS TO JERUZALEM

Sarah (Danielle Jadelyn) and her BFF Rachel (Yael Grobglas) decide to take a vacation to Tel Aviv. On the flight there they meet anthropologist wannabe Kevin (Yon Tumarkin), who convinces the girls to go with him to Jerusalem. Things take a turn for the worse when the third gate to hell opens in the city. The three find themselves in a fight for survival as they try to escape while the end of days commences.

First, the positives: Our three main leads are likable enough and actually resemble real human beings. They aren't douchbags or sluts (with the most likable one being Kevin) . It's also an interesting choice to film the whole thing with Google Glass, although the result is the film can feel like an advert for the product at times. I also like that the horror here is steeped in Jewish mythology, which is a different road I commend the film for taking (although not much is really done with this novel idea). Having been to a few destinations outside the U.S, I can say that JeruZalem captures how it feels to be exploring a foreign land. It's also appreciated that Danielle Jadelyn shows us her goods in one brief scene (wasn't expecting that).

Unfortunately, all the good will I had built up for this film just about evaporates during the last 30 minutes where things get stupid fast. Our heroes find themselves battling demon zombies via some bad CGI (and yes, this plague is contagious. *FACEPALM*). While it starts out promising enough, JeruZalem winds up descending into your typical dumb found footage horror film (with a complete lack of scares, tension or suspense and an abundance of shaky cam footage during the last act). If you're curious, I suppose it may be worth a watch but don't expect to remember it after the credits have rolled.

2 STARS

SMALLS' FRIGHT FEST BEGINS WITH X-RAY

In X-Ray, Susan (Barbi Benton) goes to a hospital for a routine check-up. Unfortunately, a psycho killer has targeted her as his main prey. Messing with her X-Rays so it looks like she has a life-threatening disease, Susan finds herself locked up in the hospital. As the bodies start to drop, she must find a way out or die.

All you need to know about this film is that it was made by Golan and Globus, who were the kings of bad films from 1979-1985. Indeed, X-Ray/Hospital Massacre/ Be My Valentine, Or Else/Ward 13 (Holy shit, this film has 4 different titles) is an awful, poorly made film, but in all the best ways. It's completely ridiculous and silly (For crying out loud, the filmmakers decided to dress a guy in a wig and try to pass him off as an elderly woman. Did they not have enough money to hire an elderly lady? Was the guy on set and they figured he could do just as good a job for less money? Seriously, WTF?). Barbi Benton is just about the only actor/actress here that does a decent job. She's amazingly beautiful, and isn't afraid to show us her goods. Honestly, I kind of want to see more of her films now. As for the movie itself, what it lacks  in suspense, tension and scares (I knew who the killer was going to be the first time he appeared on screen), it more than makes up for in pure, dumb, silly fun. I'd easily classify this as a great party film. Sit down with a group of your friends, switch it on, and have a ton of fun laughing at it and making fun of it.

1 STAR


FUN FACT: Barbi Benton was more well known for her involvement with Playboy than for her film and TV roles.

SMALLS GOES FOR A TREK IN THE BLACK HILLS FOREST WITH BLAIR WITCH

Blair Witch is a continuation of The Blair With Project. In 1994, Heather Donahue and her friends Joshua Leonard and Michael Williams trekked deep into the Black Hills Forest in Maryland for a documentary Heather was doing on Ellie Kedward aka The Blair Witch. They were never heard from again, but the footage they shot was recovered. Around 20 Years after Heather and crew vanished, a mysterious new video is discovered in The Black Hills Forest and uploaded to the internet. It shows a young woman frantically running through a house. James Donahue (Heather's younger brother, played by James Allen McCune)) has been keeping his eyes and ears open for any sign of his sister, and when he sees the new footage he becomes convinced that the house is the same house from the end of his sister's footage, and that the girl MUST be his sister. James' girlfriend Lisa (Callie Hernandez) is doing a documentary on him and his search for Heather. Together with their friends Peter (Brandon Scott) and Ashley (Corbin Reid), and with Burkittsville natives Lane (Wes Robinson) and Talia (Valorie Curry) leading the way, they decide to investigate The Black Hills Forest in search of that house and hopefully, Heather. Naturally, things don't go exactly as planned as the group find themselves traveling in Heather and friends' footsteps.

Blair Witch is directed by Adam Wingard and written by Simon Barrett (The duo behind such hits as You're Next and The Guest). They clearly have a great love for The Blair Witch Project, and are very knowledgable about The Blair Witch's rich backstory and mythology. The set-up is very cool, and when the characters go over the storied history of Ellie Kedward and her victims, the film doesn't get a single thing wrong. Blair Witch doesn't negate anything the original classic did, and actually adds a little bit to the mythology. As for the actors this time around, they all do a fine job (with my favorite character being James). Of course, I have to talk about The Blair Witch herself as well. She's more aggressive here and seems downright pissed. 

With the new technology we have today comes new forms of video recording equipment, which Blair Witch isn't afraid to use. We get over-the-ear-cameras (referred to as POV cams), webcams, drones, and hand-held video recorders. There is still a good deal of shaky cam here, but it's nice to get different angles and views instead of just relying on one source of video.

While The Blair Witch Project resembled an actual amateur documentary/student project, Blair Witch resembles more of a theatrical film. We see a bit more here than we did in the original, but a decent amount is still left in the shadows. Most of the film is pretty creepy, tense and weird but I honestly wasn't scared until the last act or so. For myself, I'd say I felt the first and last acts were the strongest parts of this film. While Blair Witch isn't as great as The Blair Witch Project was (and certainly won't have the impact the original did at the time it was released), this is still a faithful, fun, very cool, and worthwhile continuation of The Blair Witch Project. Blair Witch gets a solid recommendation from me, I'm sure fans of the original (like myself) will eat it up. 

3.5 STARS

IT'S TIME TO ROOT FOR THE BAD GUYS WITH SUICIDE SQUAD

In Suicide Squad, ruthless special agent Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) comes up with a novel idea: put together a squad composed entirely of bad guys (all expendable) that will be dispatched to deal with special threats . The members of the squad consist of Deadshot (Will Smith), Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney), Diablo (Jay Hernendez), Killer Croc (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), and June Moon/The Enchantress (Cara Delevingne). When one of the squad goes rogue with the intent of causing some serious global chaos, the rest are sent in to rescue Amanda Waller (who is in the city under siege) and contain the situation. Captain Rick Flagg (Joel Kinnaman) is assigned to keep a collar on the squad. Meanwhile, The Joker (Jared Leto) is hot on their trail, dead set on reuniting with his love.

I was genuinely looking forward to Suicide Squad. This was one of the rare films where I knew next to nothing about the plot or characters going in, and this excited me. What kind of ride would this film take me on? Would it be worth the price of admission?

Let's start with the bad: This film is poorly edited, plotted, scripted, and paced. The editing is very choppy at points, at others downright confusing. It's hard to get a sense of when exactly in the timeline this film takes place (Is it before or after Justice League Part One?). The stakes are never properly established, some of the squad have poor characterization, and some of the more brutal moments are blurry or shot in such a way to make them hard to make out. There are also times that characters act in ways that don't make complete sense in order to further the plot or action.

I've got to address the issue of Jared Leto's Joker. He isn't in the film much, and I could never really get a pulse on his character. He doesn't really do a lot in the present day, though I did dig his flashback scenes. We spend so little time with him that he barely gets to make an impression. Apparently most of his scenes were cut, so maybe he'll fare better in the unrated version.

While Suicide Squad is certainly not all that well made of a film, I still found it to be very fun. The film is stylish as hell, and it's soundtrack kicks all kinds of ass. I genuinely liked the squad members and the dynamics amongst them (Though the beef between Deadshot and Rick Flagg started to grate on my nerves after a while). Each member gets their own little backstory and some flashback scenes (which is appreciated, though some characters could have been fleshed out a little more, like Enchantress). I also liked that this is a film where we focus on the bad guys, and are encouraged to root for them.

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn was fantastic, and is the clear standout in the film. It's clear she's having a ton of fun with her role. The film handles the character of Harley pretty faithfully, and I felt her backstory was well done. Suicide Squad might as well be a Harley Quinn film. She dominates the screen whenever she's on, and is one hell of a memorable character (we even get a brief shot of her in the classic Harley outfit). I'd love to see more of Robbie's Harley in future films (Hell, maybe a stand alone film focusing just on her and Joker).

It was nice to see Jai Courtney not phoning it in for a change. I thought he was actually fun, and I really enjoyed his performance.Will Smith was good as Deadshot, while this isn't one of his best roles I will say he's more enjoyable here than in other recent films. He brings his old charisma and humor back for the character, but they don't completely fit at times. Viola Davis as Amanda Waller was great, she is threatening and morally questionable (A good thing that keeps true to the character we know, though to see my favorite versions of Deadshot and Amanda Waller watch season two of Arrow). I was also pretty impressed by Karen Fukuhara who plays Katana. It's a small role, but Fukuhara manages to make it bad-ass and memorable. 

I saw Suicide Squad in 2D, and as far as I could tell the film would likely be a complete mess in 3D. It's a dark film (as in brightness level), and the action scenes are shot in such a way that I could see 3D only making them that much harder to make out. I'd say just stick with 2D and save some cash.

Admittedly, Suicide Squad isn't a huge success. It definitely has its fair share of faults and shortcomings, but I found myself thoroughly enjoying the chaos and mayhem of the film and walked out pretty happy with what I got (I'd say the first half was stronger than the second half).  Suicide Squad is a film that is trying to do something different, and while it's not a complete success I would still say it's definitely worth checking out. I know I would gladly welcome a sequel.

3 STARS

MY INCREDIBLE THOUGHTS ON POPSTAR: NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING

In Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, we follow the Bieber-esque Connor Friel (AKA Conner4Real...get it? He's played by Andy Samberg) . In his youth, he was a member of a music group his friends and him created called The Style Boyz. Connor's ego got the best of him and he broke apart from the group to pursue a solo career. The other members went seperate paths with Owen (Jorma Taccone) staying with Connor as his DJ and Lawrence (Akiva Schaffer) moving out to the country to become a farmer. Conner's star seems to be rising until his 2nd album bombs hard, and he scrambles to find a way to stop his sudden fall from grace.

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is the first film from musical sensation The Lonely Island, and I can't tell you how much joy it brought me to see the words 'A Lonely Island film' appear on screen in the first few minutes of Popstar. Yes, I've been a fan of the group for quite some time and they bring the same comic sensibilities sampled in their various songs to the big screen. In other words, if you aren't a fan of the group's comedic style, there's a chance you won't like the film. If it wasn't already obvious, I loved the hell out of this film. It's done in mockumentary style (Think This Is Spinal Tap meets Katy Perry: Part of Me meets Justin Bieber: Never Say Never), and so finds a way to spoof the music documentary sub-genre, the entertainment/music industry, popstars, TMZ, big budget concerts, and even Snapchat.

Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone, and Akiva Schaffer are all great on screen. They are long time friends in real life, and bring that same chemistry to the screen. Samberg plays the well-meaning, lovable buffoon perfectly (It's like the role he was born to play). Taccone is perfect as well as Conner's doofy best friend who only wants to reunite the old group. Schaffer is given significantly less screen time than the other members of Lonely Island, but is still great in his role as the angry, jaded Lawrence who was wronged by Conner in the past and has never gotten over it.

Popstar is filled with cameos from both celebrities and music stars, and to the film's credit the cameos never feel forced or shoe-horned in. They all feel very natural and organic, most are handled like talking heads who appear to comment on Conner's career trajectory and current antics and some are handled like supporting characters. The best ones for my money were Tim Meadows as Harry, Conner's manager, Chris Redd as the Kanye/Tyler The Creator-esque Hunter The Hungry, and Justin Timberlake as Conner's chef (who's character's name I could not find online).

Naturally, this being a Lonely Island film, Popstar is filled with numerous songs. Every single one is laugh out loud funny. The constant jokes also hit more often than they miss (THANK GOD!). Popstar is frequently hilarious, using The Lonely Island's brand of dumb, smart humor to comment on the entertainment industry and pop stardom. It's the rare film that uses dumb humor to say something pretty smart. In fact, I'd dare say the film is actually brilliant. Popstar runs at a swift 86 minutes. I left the theater wanting more (Hopefully they release an extended cut on Blu-Ray).

So, what are the negatives? Well, to be honest.....there aren't a lot. The film does slow down a bit at times and not every joke hits as hard as others although each one is funny enough in it's own right. Popstar is not a perfect film, but it is pretty damned great a large percentage of the time. I can't say if I'll remember most of the jokes from the film a few years down the line, but I am positive that I will remember the film as a whole (It's memorable).

Popstar is a film that certainly won't be to everyone's tastes. Either you like the SNL sketches of late and The Lonely Island's unique brand of humor, or you don't. For myself, I found the film to be extremely funny and quite smart. It's a film that is immensely entertaining and fun while you're watching it, and you can bet I'll be buying the album to hear the full version of the songs in the film (and to listen to the numerous other songs that didn't make the cut). Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping marks a promising debut for The Lonely Island, perfectly showcasing both their smarts and their humor. We need people like Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone and Andy Samberg in the world, people with a unique vision and voice. Let's hope that they decide to continue to make both songs and movies for a long time.

4.5 STARS

SMALLS ACCEPTS THE INVITATION

Will (Logan Marshall-Green) has suffered a great loss in his past and has never really moved on. He's got a new girlfriend (Kira, played by Emayatzy Corinealdi), but when both are invited to a dinner party by Will's ex-wife Eden (Tammy Blanchard) and her new husband (David, played by Michiel Huisman) , Will's growing paranoia about possible sinister motives for the get-together threaten to ruin the good times....unless he's right.

It's best to go into this film knowing little to nothing about it. That's how I walked into it and it greatly enhanced my viewing experience. So, I'll keep this short. Logan Marshall-Green and Tammy Blanchard are both fantastic in the film. One of the great things about this flick is that there is a very real possibility the threat of danger could just be in Will's head, as his inability to effectively cope with his loss is tampering with his judgement. We are never really sure if Will is the hero or a possible threat himself until the third act.

What are my complaints? Well, none really. The latter part of the third act can't really keep up with the momentum the film had built before, but there are still enough thrilling and tension/suspense filled moments to keep you thoroughly sucked in.

The Invitation is an intricately crafted puzzle box of sorts that is always twisting and turning. The film is filled with suspense and tension that both slowly build until a boiling point. This flick enjoys playing with viewer's heads, and it's sure to keep you guessing right until the end (and that final shot is downright haunting). I really enjoyed The Invitation and the twisty roller-coaster ride it took me on. I would highly recommend it, just don't walk in expecting a horror film as this is more of a psychological thriller/intense drama/mystery.

4.5 STARS

Karyn Kusama;who directed this film; also directed the terrible Jennifer's Body.

HARDCORE HENRY ADMINISTERS A SHOT OF ADRENALINE STRAIGHT TO THE JUGULAR

In Hardcore Henry, Henry awakens after being brutally murdered. His life jumpstarted by a beautiful woman named Estelle (Haley Bennett), who proceeds to upgrade him with cybernetic parts. She claims to be his wife, but Henry can't recall due to memory loss from his death. It doesn't take long before a wicked looking albino named Akan (Danila Kozlovsky) storms Estelle's lab, kidnapping her and having his goons taser poor Henry right off a bridge. With the help of a mysterious man named Jimmy (Sharlto Copley), Henry is going to go after Akan, rescue his wife, and reclaim his life.

Hardcore Henry lived up to my worst fears and greatest expectations. It is a live-action videogame movie, filled with testosterone and it follows a typical Mario Bros.-esque plot (Save the princess, or in this case, your wife). It's loud, dumb, violent, bloody, brutal, surreal, insane and tons of fun. Danila Kozlovsky makes for a cool villain, and Sharlto Copley nails his many roles perfectly (His Jimmy keeps coming back to life in a different form every time he dies, I won't explain why or how. Jimmy also has a very fun and goofy musical dance number set to I've Got You Under My Skin).  Indeed, his budding bro-mance with Henry is one of the stronger aspects of this film. I'd say this is my 2nd favorite role of Copley's.

The first person perspective is an inventive, original way to tell this story while putting us directly in Henry's shoes. The result is thrilling and dizzying (I don't normally get queasy in these types of film, but I did here a few times. Wasn't anything I couldn't shake off though). The action is almost non-stop, with very little breathing room in-between set pieces (very impressive stunt work). The only downside to the first person perspective is that it can feel like you are watching someone else play a video game at times (Please, just give me the damned controller). I was surprised at how well the you-are-Henry effect worked at times.

So, what are this film's issues? As I said before, the plot is fairly threadbare, dumb, and typical territory for a video game (but still cool). The script is bad in an action, B-Movie, 80's-esque, guy flick type of way. The villain lacks motivation (and his nifty telekinetic powers are never explained). The film also ends way too abruptly. In other words, it's bad in exactly the ways you'd expect it to be.

If you are an action movie junkie or a fan of video games, there's a chance you may enjoy Hardcore Henry. However, if you want your action film to have a plot, a decent script, character development, and a satisfying conclusion, maybe you'd do best to look somewhere else. For myself, I had an absolute, surreal blast with Hardcore Henry. It may not be a great film, but it's an awesome, unique experience (Kind of like Project X).

3.5 STARS

EDIT: I can only imagine how much crazier, immersive, and nauseating this film would be if viewed on the Oculus Rift.