SMALLS JOINS WYLD STALLYNS IN BILL AND TED FACE THE MUSIC

 "Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes!"

In Bill and Ted Face The Music, our most triumphant duo have fallen on some totally bogus times. After the devastating realization that the song they performed at the end of Bogus Journey was not the song that would unite the world, Bill S. Preston Esq. (Alex Winter) and Ted Theodore Logan (Keanu Reeves) have spent the last two decades desperately trying to write and perform the one song that will fix everything.

Now, in 2020, Wyld Stallyns have lost all musical credibility, The Grim Reaper (William Sadler) has been booted from the band due to copyright infringement, Bill and Ted have garnered a reputation for trying way to hard with very little payoff, and the bodacious princesses (Joanna as portrayed by Jayma Mays and Elizabeth as portrayed by Errinn Hayes) are close to divorcing the duo. What's worse, the very fabric of space and time has started to unravel. Bill and Ted are given a deadline in which they must write and perform the one song that will unite the world, or else reality as we know it will cease to be.

At a loss, our excellent duo decide to use the classic phone booth to travel into the future and steal the song from a version of their future selves that have already performed it. Their super cute daughters (Billie as portrayed by Brigette Lundy-Paine and Thea as portrayed by Samara Weaving ) go on their own time traveling adventure through the past in an attempt to create the best band possible for their dads.

Bill and Ted are back, baby! Without a doubt, the main draw of this latest outing is not only to see Reeves and Winter reprise their roles, but also to see how Bill and Ted are as adults. Alex Winter steps seamlessly back into the role, and Keanu Reeves is entertaining, although it feels like he is struggling to get back to the essence of Ted. That said, the Ted we know and love definitely can be felt in some moments. William Sadler also effortlessly returns as The Grim Reaper, and is a joy every second he is on screen. In this outing, The Grim Reaper has been demoted in Hell due to his friendship with Bill and Ted, and he has had a falling out with the duo over a lawsuit and his love of bass. Amy Stoch as Missy (who in this film is recently married to Ted's little bro Deacon, as portrayed by Beck Bennett) and Hal Landon Jr. as Ted's long-suffering dad, make appearances and aren't given much to do, though it is still nice to have them back regardless.

Bridgette Lundy-Paine and Samara Weaving are perfection as the daughters of Bill and Ted. They are a duo in their own right, and both are massively entertaining (especially Lundy-Paine, who definitely feels like a female version of Ted). Kristen Schaal definitely has some funny moments as Kelly, daughter of Rufus. Dazmann Still as Jimmi Hendrix, Jeremiah Craft as Louis Armstrong, and Daniel Dorr as Mozart are the stand-out as far as historical figures go. Kid Cudi also appears as himself and is the subject of a one-note joke that works incredibly well and doesn't get old (He is a highlight of the film).

Bill and Ted Face The Music is, ultimately, highly entertaining but uneven. I would say most of the jokes land, but some still fall flat. Some of the bits involving Bill and Ted meeting their future selves are hilarious, but most don't fully work, and after a while Bill and Ted's various voyages into the future become repetitive and one-note. Surprisingly, it's Billie and Thea's adventures through the past that are the most memorable parts of this film.

Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson, the creators of Bill and Ted, return to script this latest outing and they prove they've still got it. As stated above, most of the humor works and the essence of the Bill and Ted characters still shines through throughout (There are definitely quite a few bits that feel like classic Bill and Ted), but I'd be lying if I said this last outing didn't feel like it was trying too hard at times. Dean Parisot takes over the directing reigns this go-round, and does a more than serviceable job.

In the end, Bill and Ted Face The Music is not as bogus as it could been, but it's also not as excellent as it should have been. The film likely won't appeal to anyone who isn't already a fan of Wyld Stallyns (though I imagine Thea and Billie might be able to bring in a new generation of fans, and could garner their own following as well. Honestly, I'd be ok with some spin-off films featuring these two alone.), but for long-time fans, this will likely do the trick. Bill and Ted Face The Music is uneven (with a very abrupt and sudden end), but highly entertaining and consistently funny. It makes for a good pick-me-up during these troubled times. It may not be excellent, but will likely leave you feeling most excellent regardless. STATION!

3 STARS

SMALLS TRIES NEW COKE

This review was originally written way back on Aug 14, 2019.

So, I finally got to try New Coke, the infamous discontinued soft drink from the 80s. It's really not bad...at all. I'd say Classic Coke is better, though. That said, New Coke is still pretty good. It's got a lighter flavor to it, but still tastes sweet. Best way I can describe the flavor is imagine something between Diet Coke (minus Aspartame) and Pepsi, and that still doesn't perfectly capture it. It's certainly different and odd, just not in a bad way.

EVERYTHING ISN'T QUITE SATISFACTUAL WITH SONG OF THE SOUTH

 Song of The South is the most controversial Disney movie ever made. Disney has spent literal decades doing their best to bury the film and act like it never existed (Most of their efforts undone thanks to what is undoubtedly one of the best attractions in any of their parks: Splash Mountain, a log flume ride based loosely/partially on the film.). I am a rare lucky one, having managed to watch the film three times over the years. With the current social situation we find ourselves in (protests, riots, police reform, BLM, etc), I figure now is as good a time as any to attempt to analyze this problematic little film, and see exactly how racist it really is. So, if you're ready, dive into the Briar Patch with me as we explore Walt Disney's Song of The South.

In Song of The South we follow Johnny (Bobby Driscoll), a young boy from a rich family who finds himself transplanted to a southern plantation during Reconstruction times. It would appear that Johnny's mom (Sally, played by Ruth Warrick) and dad (John, played by Eric Rolf) are close to having a falling out, so Sally has moved Johnny and herself to the old plantation Johnny's grandma (Lucile Watson) owns while Jack stays back in Atlanta to continue work as a muckraking journalist. Johnny, distraught over the potential end of his family, attempts to run away only to cross paths with Uncle Remus (James Baskett), a sharecropper who is known for his tales of Brer Rabbit and friends. It doesn't take long before Johnny has become firmly attached to Remus and his tales, finding a comforting form of escape within them. Along for the adventure is Ginny (Luana Patten), the daughter of a poor family, who befriends Johnny.

Let's start with the good. Walt is clearly attempting to weave a message about friendship breaking the bonds of color and class. The story and message could be very sweet and poignant, but it's held back by some obvious reasons we'll get to later. The animated segments (which total 25 minutes) and songs found within them are easily the best, most memorable parts of the film. The animation is gorgeous (such a shame we'll never get a proper blu-ray transfer/clean-up for them), and the characters of Brer Rabbit (Johnny Lee), Brer Fox (James Baskett), and Brer Bear (Nick Stewart) are classic and unforgettable. The biggest shining star of the film is James Baskett as Uncle Remus (Though even he isn't exempt from some of the film's issues). Baskett is downright magnetic, incredibly likable, and very memorable in a classic role. He really is the hero of the story, and honestly feels like a bad-ass a good deal of the time.

 Song of The South is set in a heavily fantasized and unrealistic version of the old south, and that, unfortunately, is where it's problems begin. In this fairy tale, African Americans happily choose to stay on as sharecroppers at the plantation where they were formerly slaves...seemingly because they see it as the only home they know. This in and of itself is incredibly sad. Sharecropping is when the owner of said land allows a tenant (in this case freed slaves) to use the land in return for a share of the crops (usually 1/3 or 1/2) that the tenant produces or farms. Sharecroppers often fell victim to manipulated prices from the landowner. Most of the time freed slaves found themselves penniless, and without any real way to support their families. Sharecropping often was the only option they had. So, no, most sharecroppers didn't happily choose to stay on at the plantations. To say otherwise would be false.

Song of The South chooses to portray all of the sharecroppers in the film as happy and content in their current lives. Obviously, this likely wasn't the case. It's hard to believe all of the sharecroppers would stand outside a window and mourn the potential loss of white life, as the film shows later on in the third act. This reinforces the idea that African Americans were pleased as punch to be at the mercy of their white former slave owners, and really did love them. It's possible that they were grateful to have their own land, but likely not as grateful as Song would have you believe. After all, at the end of the day they were still being taken advantage of and manipulated by the white folks that still owned the land.

Remember how earlier I said that the character of Uncle Remus wasn't exempt from the film's numerous issues? In the film, you can't help but get the feeling that Remus' sole purpose is to entertain our young white protagonist. Walt tries to depict a growing friendship between the two, but it comes across as one-sided. The only real reason Johnny is friends with Remus is because Remus entertains him and is the only one giving him the care and attention Johnny so desperately craves (His self-absorbed parents barely spend any time looking after him and are too caught up in their own issues to really even notice him). Remus, as much as I love him, does fall squarely into the trap of the magical negro stereotype. He is in the story to "fix" the numerous issues Johnny (and even his parents) are experiencing as well as dishing out some life-lessons along the way. He has a generally happy demeanor that I imagine many African Americans would likely find offensive (The happy slave/ former slave who is more than happy to serve his masters/former masters trope).

Onto the animated segments. While, as previously stated, they are easily the standouts of the film, even they are not without their issues (least of which being the dialects that Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox, and Brer Bear speak in). There is some racist imagery featured (including noose's and the obvious Tar Baby), and the tales of Brer Rabbit and company can easily be viewed as a prime example of cultural appropriation (The first message of choosing to stay in the Briar Patch can be viewed as problematic as well. Sure, the Briar Patch is thorny, tough to navigate, and can cause pain to those living within it, but better the evils you know than those you don't. See a relation to African Americans living on plantations? I personally don't interpret it that way, but I know some who do so it's worth pointing out). The original tales of Uncle Remus were written by Joel Chandler Harris, a poor Irish immigrant. When he was denied admittance to the Confederate army due to his age, he wound up on a plantation where he found he related to the slaves there due to their poor background. He overheard them sharing tales of Brer Rabbit and was intrigued. Later, while writing at a newspaper, he created the character of Uncle Remus as a way to share their stories. He never credited any of the slaves, and wound up profiting off black culture. In a way, Disney did the same exact thing by making Song of The South.

The film's theme song (as well as the theme song for Splash Mountain and the unofficial Disney theme parks tune) is Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah. Sounds innocent enough, right? Unfortunately, while it is an iconic Disney anthem...the song's origins aren't pretty. The main chorus of "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-Ay, My-Oh-My, What a wonderful day. Plenty of Sunshine, Heading my way. Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-Ay" is a variant of the main chorus of Zip Coon. Zip Coon is a song that mocks both educated African Americans as well as newly emancipated slaves. It's chorus goes: O Zip a duden duden duden zip a duden day, O Zip a duden duden duden duden duden day, O Zip a duden duden duden zip a duden day, Zip a duden duden duden zip a duden day." Zip Coon also went on to inspire the creation of the Zip Coon character that was used in Minstrel shows (Minstrel shows were performances where white actors would wear black face and sing African American songs. ). Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah doesn't have the same meaning as Zip Coon, but it's ugly roots still remain.

The animated segments of the film were penned by Bill Peet, George Stallings, and Ralph Wright. The live action portions were directed by Harve Foster, and the animated parts by Wilfred Jackson.
Song of The South was released in 1946 (Gone With The Wind was released in 1939 and suffers from many of the same issues as Song). Walt claimed he fondly remembered the Uncle Remus tales from his youth, and had always wanted to make a movie out of them. He  originally had wanted Song of The South to be a fully animated film focusing solely on the adventures of Brer Rabbit and Co.. Later on he decided to make it a mixture of live-action and animation (possibly because he saw how well Gone With The Wind had done financially and with awards.). He hired first time screen-writer Dalton Reymond to penn the live-action portions, Reymond was later joined by Callum Webb and Maurice Rapf. Apparently Reymond was quite a racist and it showed in his drafts of the script. Rapf was concerned about the content of the drafts, and intended to do his best to solve the racism issue (He was also against Walt making the film, which is why Walt hired him. Walt thought if anyone could make Song more sensitive, it was Rapf). Unfortunately, Rapf was taken off the project after 7 weeks due to a personal dispute with Reymond. Afterwards Morton Grant was brought on to further help with the script.

Some might say Walt was naive when it came to making Song of The South, others would say that Walt was a known racist and anti-Semite and those views are reflected in the final product, and still others say he knew the material would have glaring issues and just didn't care. Either way, it's clear Walt did want to share a message about tolerance and friendship (Johnny befriends both a sharecropper and a girl from a poorer family than his despite strong objections from his mother), he just got it across in a very problematic way.

Putting all the issues aside, is Song of The South even any good? Is it worth checking out? Unfortunately, as a whole, Song of The South is far from being one of Disney's best films. The main plot and live-action portions are pretty mediocre and dull by Disney standards. Most of the acting (with the exception of James Baskett of course) is sub-par as well. As stated numerous times, the animated segments and the songs found within are the saving grace of this film, but even  they are not without their issues. I think The Walt Disney Company would have done better by confronting the multiple issues with the film head-on instead of trying to bury it and act like it never existed. By doing so, they have inadvertently given Song of The South more of a "status" than it otherwise would have had (It doesn't help that one of their greatest attractions of all time is based on the film, though Splash Mountain has far less issues than the film does). This has led to consumers seeking it out through various means online (I imagine most are disappointed with what they find).

In the end, Song of The South is a challenging, controversial film. It paints over it's numerous issues with catchy songs, gorgeous animation, and lovable animated characters. Some might say this is insidious. I  have conflicting emotions about Song of The South. I love Brer Rabbit, Brer Fox, Brer Bear and their adventures. I adore the animation and songs (though the score for the live action portions is just plain bad). That said,  I can clearly see the numerous problems the film poses and I acknowledge that it all makes for a fairly uncomfortable watch . Ultimately, the best thing that could come out of Song of The South is if it can spark meaningful discussions about race, prejudice, racism, etc...unfortunately, that can only happen if it is seen and analyzed (This is in no way an endorsement of the film). Song of The South remains a fascinating, frustrating, and important piece of Disney history.

1.5 STARS

DOLITTLE DOES LITTLE

Dolittle is a complete, slap-dash, convoluted mess. It's hard to comprehend why RDJ would choose this as his next film after his successful long-term stint as Iron Man/Tony Stark (maybe he just wanted a film where he wouldn't have to try as hard, which is understandable). The film itself feels like it suffered from production troubles. There is an abundance of ADR (never a good sign), tons of modern humor that is painful and unfunny (at one point an octopus says: Snitches get stitches, bro!), and RDJ as Dolittle acts as if he is relapsing (It doesn't help that he consistently looks like a mess). RDJ also speaks in a bad Welsh accent, and mumbles his way through the role (Naturally, this makes it hard to understand what he's saying at times).

There's an interesting undercurrent of grief that could work in a better film, but completely fails to connect here (Dolittle is still grieving over his wife's death and has retreated from society. The few scenes where he is asked to portray the good doc's grief are some of the only times where it feels like RDJ is actually trying) .

RDJ and his wife produced this big-budget flop, but you could never tell from his acting: RDJ feels disconnected from everything and everyone here, and like he couldn't be less interested in the film he is making. His Dolittle is fairly unlikable (He only agrees to save a dying Queen after he finds out that if she dies he loses his posh estate, he seems to be fairly incompetent at adventuring, and gives up easily when the cards are stacked against him). He isn't someone you particularly want to follow.

Rami Malek (as Chichi the Gorilla), Tom Holland (as Jip the Dog), John Cena (as Yoshi the Polar Bear), Octavia Spencer (as Dab-Dab the Duck), Emma Thompson (as Polly the Parrot, she might give the best performance in the film), Craig Robinson (as Kevin the Squirrel), Kumail Nanjiani (as Plimpton the Ostrich), Ralph Fiennes (as Barry the Tiger), Selena Gomez (as Betsy the Giraffe), Marion Cotilliard (as Tutu the fox), Jason Mantzoukas (as James the Dragonfly), Will Arnett (as a jailed rabbit), and Frances De La Tour (as Ginko-Who-Soars the dragon) lend their voices and are all wasted. Antonio Banderas (as Rassouli, king of an island and father to Lilly Dolittle, The Doc's deceased wife), Jim Broadbent (as Lord Thomas Badgley), and Martin Sheen (as Dr. Blair Mudfly, a rival doctor) all pop up as the human antagonists and are wasted as well. Kasia Smutniak appears briefly as Lilly Dolittle, she is pretty and kind but barely leaves an impression.

The directing by Stephen Gaghan is unfocused and sloppy, and the script penned by Dan Gregor, Doug Mand, and Stephen Gaghan is just awful and unfunny. RDJ has built up enough good will over the past ten years or so that the decision to produce and star in this film shouldn't completely tank him (luckily). While I certainly do not like this film, I still very much love RDJ and hope he makes better decisions in the future.

In the end, Dolittle is a film that means well and will certainly entertain the very young, but will likely leave everyone else longing for a better movie (Easily the best part is the pretty animated intro). Tony Stark died for our sins, he deserves better than Dolittle.

1 STAR

JUMANJI: THE NEXT LEVEL

The first sequel, Welcome To The Jungle, got lucky and was actually a surprisingly great, fun time. Unfortunately, the decision to go back for more is a risky move that doesn't pay off. The Next Level is entertaining, but the plot of the film, and the why and how our leads from the first film get back into the game is contrived as hell.

This three-quel desperately wants to be more than its predecessor while still reminding audiences why they might have enjoyed Welcome To The jungle (via some painful and bad call backs) .The villain this time around feels like an after-thought, and has less screen time and less to do than Van Pelt in Jungle. The humor here feels more forced and doesn't work as often as the humor in Welcome To The Jungle did, and this film makes an attempt at some serious themes that it can't pull off. To put it simple: It bites off more than it can chew.

The actors here are all more than game for the material they are handed, and all do fine jobs in their respective roles (Indeed, seeing the gang back together is the main reason to see this film). The Next Level certainly isn't terrible, but it also ain't great and is nowhere near as good as Jungle was. It also doesn't help that The Next Level appears to hint at what could be a far better sequel in the thirteenth hour.

This latest outing for what appears to be shaping up to be a Jumanji franchise is an unnecessary and unneeded sequel (especially when Jungle seemed designed to be a self-contained film considering how that one ended) that isn't all that memorable, but still manages to entertain for the most part.

3 STARS

SCOOB! SHOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER

Scooby Doo, where are you? No seriously, where are you?

Let's start with the positives. Frank Welker as Scooby, Zac Efron as Fred, Amanda Seyfried as Daphne, Ken Jeong as Dyno-mutt, Billy West as Muttley (who doesn't appear until the third act, and ain't in the film much), and Jason Isaacs as Dick Dastardly are all pretty good. The first 15 minutes sets up a nice tone (that the film then completely abandons). There are lots of references to the original Scooby Doo show (including a great recreation of the classic intro). There's also a nice attempt at keeping the theme of the film about friendship (it doesn't really work though, we'll get to why in a few).

As for the ok: Will Forte and Gina Rodriguez are fine as Shaggy and Velma, but their voices don't really match the characters. There is a clear attempt to nab an all-star cast for the film, but a veteran voice cast likely would have served the film better.

Now, onto the bad. Let's start with the plot. Scooby is revealed to be the last descendant of Alexander The Great's dog. Dick Dastardly plans on using him to open the gates of the underwold (Scoob is essentially the chosen one here) so he can steal the treasure within, unaware that the three-headed dog Cerberus is inside too. Brian, the Blue Falcon's son who has inherited the title but is conceited and bad at his job, tags along for the ride. So...yeah, far from a Sooby Doo plot. There is a lot of shoot-shoot bang-bang in the film (far too much for my tastes, and far too much for a Scooby film).

Scoob is also clearly committed to creating a Hannah-Barbara cinematic universe. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but all the chaos, violence, and bombast make this outing feel like far less of a Scooby film than it should. It also doesn't help that a good potion of the film deals with Shaggy and Scooby butting heads and potentially growing apart, as well as their desire to prove themselves (Themes that were covered in the two live-action Scooby movies). These plotlines annoyed fans then, what made WB think they wouldn't now?

The Mystery Inc. gang, along with Dyno-Mutt, Dastardly, and Muttley are all fairly true to their characters, but the movie they've been crammed into isn't all that good. This is a film that is trying way too hard. If it's not the "epic" story, then it's the piles and piles of pop culture references (some work, most don't. I'm looking at you distracting and unneeded Simon Cowell cameo).

In the end, Scoob is not a bad film. The animation is well done, and the voice cast is mostly fine...it just would have been better if the people behind the scenes were more focused on staying true to the tone and spirit of the original cartoons. Scoob is sure to please young ones, but for older fans of the beloved talking dog and his stoner friend...there's not much here. Scoob is a cute film, and not much else.

2.5 STARS

SMALLS ENJOYS A COLD ONE WITH STRANGE BREW

In Strange Brew, lovable Canadian goofball brothers and beer enthusiasts Doug and Bob Mackenzie (Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis, respectively) get a cozy new gig working at their favorite brewing company. Unbenownst to them, the company (run by a villainous Mx Von Sydow) is planning on injecting a mind-control substance into its beer supply so they can control the populace. Along with the help of an ex-hockey player (Angus McInnus) and the daughter of the recently deceased ex-head of the brewing company (Lynne Griffin), Bob and Doug will have to find a way to thwart the company's evil plan.

Strange Brew is written and directed by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas. They work exceptionally well as the lead duo in the film. As far as directing and writing, they prove to be surprisingly competent as well. The plot is also surprisingly more complex than you would expect it to be (it also involves a next door psychiatric hospital that is involved with the brewing company).

The beating heart of the flick is Bob and Doug and the deep friendship they share. They are well-meaning, kind, and dimwitted. It feels like you are watching a couple of friends during the film, and the proceedings have a laid back, fun feel to them. They both have expert comedic timing and work off of each other very well. You buy them as friends and brothers. This was Rick Mornais' first film role, and he proves he has serious comedic chops (as does Dave Thomas).

Strange Brew is a simple, fun, and exceedingly wacky/silly (and very funny) movie. There's nothing really deep going on here. Don't expect any messages here. The aim is to show audiences a good time, and the film succeeds in its simple goal. Strange Brew may just be one of my personal favorite comedies. Put simply: It's a great, memorable film, eh?

 4 STARS