WAR HORSE IS A SWEEPING EPIC

FINALLY!!!!!! It's been a while since John Williams and Sir Steven have tag teamed on a film ( It's been 3 years since their last collaboration). These two visionaries used to create magic together on the silver screen (with classic films like E.T., Jaws, and Jurassic Park). While their last effort, the just plain bad Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, failed to ignite that old spark their newest project, War Horse, recreates the magic that millions have missed so much.

War Horse is the story of a young horse that is ripped away from his mother and sold to a poor family, where the adolescent son, Albert (Jeremy Irvine, who does a really good job here), falls for the horse and volunteers to be the one to break him in/train him. Together the two form a strong bond. Unfortunately times are hard for the family, and to alleviate some of the stress, the father sells the horse, named Joey, to the British Army ( and to a British soldier played by Tom Hiddleston, who is great here as usual) which is preparing for WW1. It is this event that will set the horse on a collision course with several individuals who he will make an impact on and help, meanwhile Albert embarks on a journey to find joey and bring him home.

The first half of War Horse is where the film struggles to find its footing. There was little to no emotional connection made for me, the film didn't flow very well, was choppy, and characters were introduced only to be abruptly dropped ten minutes later. It is here where one of the main problems with the film takes shape, does it want to be a sweeping war epic or a tender heartfelt sentimental journey, does it want to focus mainly on Joey or does it want to focus mainly on the human's stories? the film can't make up its mind and it's only well into the end of the first act/beginning of the second act that it finally is able to find somewhat of a balance.

While the first act tested my patience (if i wasn't with my family, I may have given up and walked out of the film) , the second half of War horse is where the film swallowed me whole. It is here where the film begins to finally pick up steam, where the music melds into the film so I didn't even notice it, where the emotional connection was finally made that the film so badly needed. In short, the second half is where War Horse finally gets good.

War Horse is one of Steven Spielberg's most mature, sad, and tragic films. It deals with several very adult aspects of war, and treats both the British and German sides as equal. Not one is good or bad, both are viewed as victims of sorts. The film also deals realistically with the treatment of horses during war. There is a scene where a battlefield is strewn with the dead corpses of both humans and horses, and the setting for most of the second half, an area referred to as No Man's Land (a war torn field), is beautifully realized, actually taking my breath away in the ugly beauty of it all. Steven Spielberg has always had an eye for environments and settings, and he shows this skill off to a stunning degree in War Horse (with the help of Cinematographer Janusz Kaminski).

War Horse is a film that was made to explicitly tug at your heartstrings, and it does this with an alarming precision and skill. If you don't like films that try their hardest to make you shed a tear, then War Horse is not the film for you. I like films that are sentimental, and while I didn't cry (I don't cry easily) I definitely got choked up at the last scene. War horse is by no means a perfect film, and while it does lose it's way in the first half it successfully finds a firm footing during the second and manages to deliver the goods we all were expecting. It's just fantastic to see both Spielberg and Williams back together again, weaving their own special brand of magic that only they can weave. In the end, War Horse overcomes its many struggles and emerges triumphant. It's quite an achievement.

3.5/5

MERRY CHRISTMAS MR. GRINCH- BEETLE REVIEWS HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS

It's officially Christmas Day!!!!

I know before I was griping about how I've never successfully celebrated the spirit of the season on my blog, well all that changes today with my first ever Christmas review. I start a new trend today with my review of Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Today. I'm reviewing the Jim Carrey/Ron Howard version of the timeless tale. I know that this version has gotten a good deal of hate, but it's become a tradition in the Beetle house and is one of my personal favorite Christmas films. Is it a perfect film? No (It's not even a perfect adaptation), not by any means of the word but I still love this new classic all the more. The film never fails to fill me with joy and a warmth that can only be found on Christmas Day.

In this version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas, the story is the same but Ron Howard has added some back story to the characters and made Cindy Lou Who a bigger role than she previously was. Howard also adds in some new characters including the Mayor of Whoville (Mayor Augustus Maywho), Cindy's parents, and the lovely Martha May Whovier. Is all the added back story, characters, and details necessary or even needed? Heck No! Here, the new characters do make for a nice touch, but the backstory of The Grinch is really used more for padding than anything else. Nothing revolutionary is revealed, and honestly I didn't really need or want to know The Grinch's reason for hating Christmas. I do miss the simplicity of the original story, with all the added stuff here things can get a bit messy and muddied at times.

That said, the acting found in this new version is pretty good. Most of the cast does a perfectly acceptable job with the roles they are given. Taylor Momsen does a surprisingly good job as the young Cindy Lou Who, but the standout star of the film is the great Jim Carrey himself as The Grinch. Carrey throws himself into the role of The Grinch with a wild abandon that is crazily infectious. It's clear he's having fun with the classic character, he is the classic Grinch we all know and love with a few sprinkles of Jim Carrey's own personal flavoring for good measure. Not only is he a goofy, funny, lovable character but he is also a sad, and sometimes even slightly menacing and scary one as well. The Grinch is easily one of Carrey's best roles to date.

The sets and environments found in The Grinch are wonderfully Seussian, and remain faithful to the book. The small town of Whoville (found inside a snowflake, what a perfect little added detail) is perfectly realized, as is The Grinch's lair on Mt. Crumpit. Here is a town that I wouldn't mind visiting and exploring for a while, not to mention I also wouldn't mind staying at The Grinch's lair for some time....it's so vast and cool, even to a 21 year old such as myself. Every time the film ends, I find myself wanting to spend more time in this fantastic world Dr. Seuss and Ron Howard created.

Luckily, with all the lots of modern humor (I take it this is what most complain about, I actually like this aspect of the new film though) the new Grinch doesn't forget that it was the heart that made the original story so beloved. This new Grinch definitely has a big, beating heart at its core. This time around, Whoville is a town that has become obsessed with all the commercial and material aspects of Christmas (an angry Grinch even points this out during a heated monologue in the center of town), forgetting what Christmas is really all about (another aspect I'm sure upset fans of the original). While at first glance this would appear to be a bad choice for the film, it actually strengthens the message at the end of the film. And what exactly is that message? That Christmas is really all about being together with your family and being grateful for what you have, of course!

So, as I've already said The Grinch is by no means a perfect film,but it is permeated by the spirit and warmth of the holiday season and that makes it enjoyable nonetheless. With a delightfully infectious performance from the great Jim Carrey, The Ron Howard version of How The Grinch Stole Christmas is a great treat for the whole family...especially when the holiday season rolls around.

So, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all you Grinch's out there (and you non-Grinch's too). Stay warm, stay safe, and enjoy Christmas Day....remember, it only comes but once a year so make it last!

4/5 STARS

CHRISTMAS EVE

Hello all. I just wanted to explain my lack of any reviews lately. I had a very stressful semester at College, and I got home a few weeks ago. I don't feel like I can muster the energy to write up a full review, so instead I have posted several small ones to Rotten tomatoes...you can find them HERE: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/user/id/906180249/

I also have never fully celebrated Christmas here on the site, but I have made several big to-do's about Halloween....and that was wrong of me, I am sorry. I have spent my few weeks at home mainly resting and making up the hours of sleep I lost up at College, and as I've already stated couldn't muster up the energy to write full reviews (Christmas related or otherwise).

Anyways, i just wanted to take the time here to wish all my readers a very merry Christmas/holiday season and a very happy New Year. May you receive all you asked for and maore, and may the net year bring much happiness to you and your friends.

Till next time, this is Beetlejuice wishing all of you a very merry Christmas and a happy ho-ho-holiday season.

God Bless

CHOMP CHOMP: CAPTAIN JAKE'S AMITY BOAT TOURS (AKA: THE JAWS RIDE) TO CLOSE FOREVER ON JANUARY 2, 2012

I am honestly at a loss for words.

Universal Studios Orlando announced today at 11:00 AM that one of the last remnants from the park's glory days and a strong staple of the park to this day, The Jaws Ride, will be closing FOREVER on January 2 2012. The announcement was met with shock, depression, and rage from park fans (such as myself).

The Jaws Ride has been a very big part of my life for quite some time now. I have the whole ride spiel memorized, I even planned on auditioning to be a Jaws Skipper sometime next year. Jaws has been my favorite ride at USF (not to be confused with IOA) for a very long time, and with it and the surrounding area gone I'm not sure I have much incentive to revisit that park anytime soon.

Why is this such a tragedy, you ask? Well, it was one of the few rides that had been a part of the park since 2 years after USF opened it's gate to the public. All the other rides that were open at this time are now reduced to mere fragments of memory. Such classics like Kongfrontation, Ghostbusters, Back To The Future....with Jaws gone the only classic ride left is E.T and that ride itself needs some serious TLC SOON.

Not only was Jaws a reminder of Universal's glory days, it was also the only remaining attraction that still had a Team member operating the ride vehicle, interacting with guests, and delivering a speil throughout the course of the ride. The only other ride to do this was Kongfrontation, and that was demolished to make way for the Revenge of The Mummy, a High tech Rollercoaster that was fun but couldn't hold a candle to Kong. Jaws' skippers helped to make the ride that much more memorable and fun, some of their ad-libs making my day (ex: WE DIDN'T DIE!!!).

With Kong gone, Jaws (and the surrounding Amity area, which is to be demolished along with the ride) were the most well-themed area and ride of the park. The numerous pay to play games made sense in the area, since they were similar to what you would find on a seaside boardwalk and the entire theming of the Amity area (from food, to building design) helped to cement the illusion that you really were in the seaside town of Amity. The center of the small town was a captured shark, which was displayed prominently in front of Captain Jake's Amity Boat Tours Queue line. The whole Amity area was a marvel of imagination and design, and it's really depressing to think that, come the start of next year, it will all be gone.

So, what exactly was the story of the Jaws Ride? well, you, the guest, are asked to believe that the events of Jaws were based on actual events that occurred in the town of Amity (actually a fictional town). Shortly after the film was released, the small town's summer population dropped sharply and since Amity is a summer town that relies heavily on summer dollars...the town itself began to die. Luckily, salty Sea Dwarg, Captain Jake Grunty, had the brilliant idea to open his very own sightseeing tour of Amity Harbor which would take guests on a tour of where all the shark attacks actually occurred. The tour attracted tourists from all over the world, and just like that Amity was back on top again. However, 36 years later during Amity's 4th of July celebration and on the very weekend when the shark attacks first occurred so long ago Captain Jake's Amity Boat Tours will have to fight the great white terror known as Jaws once more.

That's the story, and as I'm sure you can see...It's also very well crafted and themed. I can honestly say, they just don't make em like they used to. So sad, that we have to lose a truly great, original ride that so many loved.

Many fans were angered that, while the closure of Jimmy Neutron was announced half a year before it was done away with, Jaws' closure was only announced a short 30 days (a month) before its final tour was to set sail. I agree with the fans here, that's not fair at all. Why should a mediocre ride like Jimmy Neutron get so much coverage and hoopla about it's closing, while a true classic like Jaws gets the absolute bare-minimum. It just doesn't taste right.

You know what else, doesn't taste right? There are rumors floating around that Harry Potter Phase 2.0 will be replacing Amity and Jaws. While I do love Harry Potter and it's land over at IOA, I just feel that HP doesn't belong in the Studios and wouldn't fit smoothly into the park. If Universal does announce that Harry Potter will be replacing Jaws, that will be the final straw for me... no more trips to USF for me (I'll still travel to IOA, but USF will be off limits).

According to Uni's announcement, they have some things planned to make sure we never forget the Jaws Ride. I don't know what this means, but I'm hoping for at least a memorial statue or to have the Shark photo-op moved to another area in the park.

Anyways I guess It's fitting that I end this post with my own eulogy to one of my favorite rides of all time: R.I.P Old Friend. You were the best (and only) scenic cruise on the island, and I shall miss you VERY much. CHOMP CHOMP

For those of you curious, here's Universal's official announcement on Jaws' imminent closure:

"Hey fans, we want you to be the first to know… JAWS! and the Amity area will officially close on January 2 to make room for an exciting, NEW, experience we’re planning for you.

We know you love JAWS! and we do too. It has been an amazing attraction and after terrorizing the waters of Amity here at Universal Orlando for 20 years, it’s a VERY important part of our history. So, we’ve got a couple things planned to ensure we always remember and honor it. We know it’s hard to say goodbye, but we can’t express how EXCITED we are about the new, innovative & amazing experience we’re going to be bringing you." -source: Orlando United

IT'S TIME TO MEET THE MUPPETS: BEETLE'S REVIEW OF THE MUPPETS

Let me start out by saying that yes, I have been a huge fan of The Muppets since I was young. I wasn't around for the original Muppet television show (god, do I was I was) but I had a vhs of some of its highlights and I remember watching Fraggle Rock and Sesame Street at a very young age. I have always been drawn to Kermit and gang though, I don't know what it is about them but they have always really appealed to me. Kermit seems to be the eternal optimist even in the face of great adversity, Fozzie can't tell a good joke to save his life but he keeps doing what he loves despite what others opinions, Gonzo is weird and wacky (very much like myself) but despite what others say he remains true to who he is, Miss Piggy is the diva of the group that loves to hog the spotlight (hee hee) but also has a sweeter side that Kermit brings out in her, Animal is the unadulterated tornado of joy and excitement (WOMAN! WOMAN!!), and there's so many more!!!. After a good deal of time spent out of the public's eye The Muppets FINALLY make their return to the big screen with The Muppets, a film that seems to be about the joys of friendship and what the gift of laughter can bring to an otherwise jaded, cynical, adult world.

In The Muppets, we follow brothers Gary (Jason Segal), Walter (the newest Muppet), and Gary's girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams). On a trip to Los Angeles, the group takes a tour of the decrepit Muppet Studios (As I said before, the Muppet gang has been out of the spotlight for several years) and Walter gets separated from the group and overhears evil oil tycoon Tex Richman's (Chris Cooper, maniacal laugh ) plans to rip down the Muppet theater in order to get to the oil that lies underneath it. There's only one gang that can stop Richman's scheme, but in order to do that Gary and Walter have to get The Muppets back together (a feat that isn't quite as easy as it seems) for one more show so that they can earn ten million dollars and buy back their old theater.

Like The other Muppet movies (with the exception of Muppets From Space), The Muppets is a musical and the songs (including some of the classics like Rainbow Connection) found within are some of the best parts of the film. Each one is catchy and memorable in it's own right (including Tex Richman's rap, a barbershop quartet version of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit, and the film's theme song called Life's A Happy Song which perfectly captures the spirit of The Muppets). The soundtrack is most definitely worth a purchase, I can guarantee that there are songs you're going to want to give a re-listen.

The Muppets, like every Muppet film, has a strong cast of cameos including Whoopi Goldberg, NPH, John Krasinski, Mickey Rourney, Selena Gomez, Zach Galifianakis, Ken Jeong, Rico Rodriguez, and Sarah Silverman. The best cameos belong to Jack Black (who might as well be billed as supporting cast, he's in the film more than any other cameo actor) as the unwilling host of the Muppet Telethon (He is great here, it's fun to see him tortured during the telethon by The Muppets and his best line comes when The Muppets do a peppy barbershop quartet version of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit "You're ruining one of the greatest songs ever made!!". Black is back at his best here, and that's a good thing in my opinion), and Jim Parsons (Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory) who stars in one of the musical numbers (That's all I can say about his appearance here lest I ruin a great moment, he left me in stitches).

Chris Cooper is also super great as the evil oil tycoon, Tex Richman, that is threatening the Muppet theater. You can just tell that he is having a blast with his role here, and nowhere is that more obvious than in a sing-along rap number (yes, the words do appear on the big screen and light up as he sings them...you can imagine my surprise and delight) in which he raps about how cool he is and how much he hates the Muppets. He's having so much fun going all out in this part that, villain or not, it's hard to resist rapping along with him.

All this said, The Muppets is not a perfect film. It feels almost messy at points, and tends to get bogged down in it's minor subplots. There are so many Muppets in the cast, but we only get to focus on a few, some notable favorites (Swedish Chef, Fozzy, Gonzo, Sweetums and many others) are left on the sidelines. Even though we do get to spend some time with these friends, it doesn't feel like it's enough. We focus mainly on Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Walter for the majority of the film, and that doesn't feel right.

The human character's don't seem very important, and it feels like they aren't in the film a whole lot (even though they are in it quite a bit). Maybe this is because there are so many different plots (5 in total) to follow that it's kind of hard not to get a bit overwhelmed every now and then. In the end, I guess it's ok that the humans end up taking a seat in the back , after all this movie is about THE MUPPETS.

The first half + of the film is fun, but failed to truly impress me. Don't get me wrong, the whole film is very funny and clever, I definitely was laughing HARD in my seat for most of it (another meta film)...but there was never anything that really made me stand up and cheer. The film starts to really pick up when the telethon starts. This is when the film turns into a film version of the original Muppet Show, and boy is it a joy to watch. The skits are hilarious, Jack Black as the host is awesome (Yes, I know I already stated this), and from here on out the film has that madcap, zany Muppet spirit that I have missed for so long. Probably the best thing that can come out of this film is if Disney decided to do a new Muppet Show that is an updated version of the original classic. I really do miss having The Muppets on TV (which is the medium that I feel has always fit them best) and I hope that if this film is a big enough success (and trust me, it will be) that they may be able to make it back on television one day soon.

The Muppets is a kids film that does not talk down to kids and also manages to keep most adults thoroughly entertained due to its unique sense of humor. The Muppets is also a commentary on how everything these days has been either dumbed down or made more violent (this is shown through a clever bit about a new show called Punch Teacher) and it subtly rebels against this with purity, simpleness and laughter. The Muppets are what we need more than ever right now, and while I may not have been as impressed as I hoped (It's not THE best Muppet film, but it's ONE of the best ones, ranks in as my second favorite Muppet film), the film still is a return to form for characters that have been reduced to shadows of their former selves recently (The Muppets Wizard of Oz and Muppets From Space come to mind). It's great to see the gang back, doing what we're used to seeing them do and what made us love them so much in the first place. The Muppets film has heart, and several very important messages that the gang has been teaching since the day they first entered our lives: Don't be afraid to be yourself, friends are important, don't ever let anyone discourage you, and always believe in yourself. In the end, The Muppets is not just for kids, it's for everyone whose inner child still lives and breathes inside them. Do your inner child a favor, and see the film.

4/5 STARS

AND THE OSCAR FOR BIGGEST FUCK UP GOES TO.....THE ACADEMY

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away there was an award show that set out to celebrate the best movies and cinematic achievements of the year. That show: was The Oscars. People would tune in anxiously to see if their favorite film would walk away with an award. If a film won best picture, it damn well deserved it. The hosts were usually pretty good, and the show itself was usually entertaining. Unfortunately, The Oscars have started to lose their appeal.

Let's face it: The hosts chosen the last few years have been less than memorable, and the movies awarded didn't always deserve the award they were given. Take The kings Speech last year for example. It walked away with Best Picture, but I didn't find that fair at all. Kings Speech was a film that was designed to win Best Picture, it wasn't made with any passion or consideration of the audience. The people involved only cared about making a film that would win the Oscar, and so followed the step-by-step process that would wind up winning them the gold. Don't get me wrong: The King's Speech was indeed a good film. The acting within was great (but what do you expect from Helena Bonham Carter, Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush?) and the cinematography was stunning...the only real problem was that the story was actually pretty uninteresting and bland, and the whole film felt fake....like it had been put into the Oscar machine and that the result was this. Enough about this though.

For years the Oscar's audience has been dwindling, not as many people tune in to the show than the amount that used to...and can you blame them? The script for the awards show feels forced and tends to have presenters and the host/hosts makes unfunny joke after unfunny joke. The Oscars just aren't as entertaining as they used to be and with the Academy continually dropping the ball as far as the awards goes it's not hard to see why people have stopped tuning in. Nobody really takes into account who wins best picture anymore, The Oscars are seen more of as a sham these days....like a rigged awards show.

In an effort to reach a wider demographic and draw in would be viewers, The last few years The Academy has nabbed hosts that would seem to appeal to the younger demographic. This year though, The Academy has apparently said screw it and, after Eddie Murphy dropped off as Host, hired Billy Crystal instead. REALLY? BILLY.FUCKING.CRYSTAL.

I can't think of anyone on Earth who would get excited over this news, in fact, I think that the choice to pick Crystal as host would result in even less of an audience than previous years. Crystal hasn't been in a movie in a while, and he has lost his comedic touch. This is a shame, because there are some legit good contenders for the categories this year. Anyone...ANYONE would be a better choice than Crystal. Yet again, The Academy drops the ball. I'm even questioning if I should tune in this year, and I'm a long time watcher of The Oscars. If even a long time viewer is questioning if he should tune in...that's a VERY bad sign. This is very disappointing Academy, I don't understand why they would sabotage themselves like this...I really don't. Either way, I can safely say that we can expect numbers to drop in attendance at home this year, and this time The Academy really has no one else to blame but themselves. You made your grave, NOW LIE IN IT!

CRAZY STUPID LOVE

Crazy Stupid Love easily is one of my top 3 favorite romantic films. What are the other two you may ask? Blue Valentine and (500) Days of Summer.

Let me just get one thing straight off the bat, although I find it easiest to label this film as a romantic comedy, it's really not this at all. It's really more of a romantic drama with good bits of comedy thrown in, but to make things easier on everyone I'm just going to refer to it as a romantic comedy because at the end of the day it is pretty damned funny.

Crazy Stupid Love is essentially a bunch of tangled love stories that are tied together for better or for worse. Cal is a man whose marriage has just come crumbling down around him, in a deep state of depression he frequents a fancy bar where he meets up with Jacob, the ultimate womanizer, who decides to help Cal take back control of his life.

Despite my simplified plot synopsis, the plot of Crazy Stupid Love is anything but simple. Even though the two main characters are Jacob and Cal there are many supporting players that really help to add a complexity to the film.

Let's start with Robby, Cal's son. He is portrayed by Jonah Bobo. He is a middle schooler that is under the belief that if you fight hard enough for your soul mate eventually you will win her over, a belief that through the course of the film he comes to realize may be foolish. He is madly in love with his babysitter, Jessica, who is 4 years older than he is and seems to have no interest in him. This minor set back does not deter Robby though, as he goes about continually humiliating himself in the name of love. Jonah is a real stand out star in this film and seems to be the most wise one out of the cast. The way he sits back and silently and with a sad amusement watches the rest of the characters go about their lives is pretty interesting. He spits out words of wisdom to the main characters, and one of his best scenes is when he goes toe to toe with bad guy Kevin Bacon and comes out on top. He's a great character and a great young actor that I feel we should keep an eye on.

There's Jessica, the high schooler that babysits for Cal's family and harbors a secret crush for Cal. She is portrayed by the beautiful Analeigh Tipton. She's not in the film a whole lot, but lights up the screen whenever she is on. Not necessarily an important character in the film, Tipton manages to make her scenes count.

There's Hannah, the independent college student. She is portrayed by the always lovely Emma Stone. Hannah is yet another character that is pretty much reduced to sitting in the sidelines, not really coming into the picture until the films third act. She's not given much character development to work with, but she is crucial to the plot o the film for reasons I won't divulge here. She is pretty much there to be Ryan Gosling's seemingly unattainable prize. Emma Stone is funny and clever here, like always, and it's sad that she isn't really given much to work with. That said her and Gosling's on-screen chemistry is pretty top-notch here. (In fact just about every character's chemistry here is top-notch. Julianne Moore and Steve Carrell, Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling, etc.)

There's Emily, Cal's wife that decides she's sick and tired of her sad sack husband and calls it quits after 22 years of marriage. She is portrayed here by the talented Julianne Moore. With a lesser script, or a lesser director she easily could have come across as a bitch, but here it is easy to understand why she broke off the marriage and the film actually makes her seem somewhat justified in doing this (despite the fact that she cheated on Cal with another man). It is clear she still has deep feelings for Cal and regrets having to divorce him and this makes her a more complex and better character overall. Throughput the film she questions her decision and tries to give Cal a few second chances that he either screws up or doesn't take full advantage of....it's actually quite sad.

Kevin Bacon is David Lindhagan, the film's main antagonist of sorts. He is dead set on winning over Emily, and really makes for an uninteresting character. It's quite likely that by the time you walk out the film, that you may have forgotten he was even in it. I've got to be honest here, I've really grown tired of Kevin Bacon ALWAYS playing the bad guy in films these days. Are you aware of how many films I've seen him in as the villain? It's getting old, FAST. Please Kevin Bacon, I'm BEGGING YOU....stop playing the bad guy, try branching out a bit next year.

The secondary lead in this film is the fantastic Ryan Gosling as Jacob. He is a rich playboy womanizer that frequents the same bar that Cal continually visits after his divorce. One day, Jacob decides that he's heard Cal bitch about his divorce one too many times and calls him over with a proposition: If Cal allows Jacob to make him over he promises that Emily will rue the day she ever broke off the marriage. And so begins one of the more fun sections of the film as we are treated to numerous entertaining interactions between Cal and Jacob. Carrel and Gosling make for a great screen duo. They play off of each other perfectly, and help to raise each others performances up. This film just wouldn't be the same without these two cast in it. Gosling is perfect as the ultimate bachelor, and manages to bring some depth to the character. He's not just some rich asshole who uses women, he also is actually a nice guy that ends up caring about Carrell's character by the end of the film, and he also makes an important realization that makes for a neat twist and drives his character to change his ways. I must say, 2011 is the year of the Gosling. He was in three fantastic films and he did superb acting performances in each. He is easily one of my favorite actors out there today, and he does a fantastic job here.

The main lead of the film is Cal, played by Steve Carrell. For most of the beginning of the film we are forced to watch the painful process of this guy's life being completely and utterly destroyed, one memorable scene is when his best friend ens their friendship at the bar. All I could think was poor Cal for most of the beginning of the film. This guy's life sucks and Carrell succeeds at making us feel his pain and anguish, it's very palpable in the film. It's great to watch as Carrell's character matures and grows over the course of the film, and he really is a different man by the time the end rolls around. Carrell is back in one of his best performances in a while, he's still very funny in this film but also brings a certain gravitas and maturity to his performance that, honestly, is quite surprising. I really do like Steve Carrell and let's hope he continues to get roles like this for they really help to show off his acting ability.

Crazy Stupid Love takes a realistic attitude towards love, but it's a very unrealistic film....if that makes sense. As the title implies, it's about how love is crazy and stupid and it doesn't make sense but after a while you just learn to go with it. There are monologues where messages about love can be found, but the way these monologues are done are pretty unrealistic (example: one monolgue is done by Robby as his graduation speech, why would he do that? Pretty inappropriate topic for a grad speech, dontcha think Robby?) and alot of the situations are unrealistic as well. It doesn't help that the film wants to insist that it's not a movie, as can be sampled by the many times when characters say: If this were a movie..., or in a movie this part would go like this. The film also makes jokes about it's PG-13 rating and characters joke about their life being R rated and not PG-13. Oh , SHUT UP! You're life is obviously PG-13 because THIS IS A PG-13 film!! If ever there were a film that didn't need to try to be meta, it was this one. The whole meta thing just doesn't work within the confines of this film.

Another thing that really bugged me was the big climax in which all the stories come clashing together. First off: this part didn't feel natural at all...forced is more of the word I would use. Secindly: The part wasn't handled very well, and even ends with a jokey part with all the guys stranging each other in a group. Nice going movie, you took what was supossed to be a serious scene and made it comical....NOT COOL. Luckily there is still around twenty plus minutes left after this embarrassing drop of the ball, ample enough time for the film to bring itself back up.

All this said, I do appreciate that the film takes a realistic approach towards the topics of love and relationships. For most of the film these topics are explored at length through these character's emotions, their beliefs, and their development as human beings. That's right, these characters end up resembling real human beings by the end of this film, and that's a great accomplishment. While it does bother me that the film tries to end with a positive attitude towards love and divorce, I'm glad the film still does not deny that love can be painful at times...possibly one of the truest messages found in this film.

So, despite some complaints, Crazy Stupid Love still succeeds where it really counts. With a stellar cast, some great messages (although I disagree with some of them), a strong script, competent directing, and plenty of heart Crazy Stupid Love manages to emerge as the most well made comedy of the year.

4/5 Stars

CARS 2 ISN'T AS BAD AS THEY SAY IT IS

It's clear Pixar definitely put a lot of effort into this, and most of it (surprisngly) doesn't go to waste. The visuals are stunning, the jokes are clever, and the story is inspired. Unfortunately,The spy elements don't fit as well into the Cars universe as they could. That said, I can't really bash the spy elements all that much because I found them quite entertaining. It was cool to see all the spy cars and the kind of weapons and gadgets they had at their disposal.


Cars 2 also plays host to the most violence I believe I've seen in a Pixar film so far . Cars are completely destroyed and one is tortured till it explodes. This places Cars 2 in the surprising "not for young ones" category.


The message in Cars 2 isn't necessarily a strong one, so Cars 2 comes across as a film that's all surface fun, nothing's really going on underneath the hood. That's not necessarily a bad thing though, sometimes it's nice to see a film that doesn't take itself too seriously and is perfectly happy driving around at cruise control (About that message: I don't agree with the whole "You shouldn't change, the people around you need to" part, but I understand what they were trying to say. You need to just be yourself).Cars 2 has a very fun, relaxed atmosphere that is easy to slip into for a while.


While it's not as strong as some of Pixar's other outings, Cars 2 is still pretty damn charming and fun at it's best, and there is a certain fun to be had watching a world that has been overrun with sentient cars.


Overall Cars 2 is a sleek, fun film.


3/5 Stars

PREPARE TO GET SUCKER PUNCH'D.

This is going to hurt.....a lot.

Zach Snyder has made very few enjoyable films, his best effort I believe was Watchmen (at least, from the films of his I have seen). Unfortunately, it is time for the final nail in his coffin. He made a film called Sucker Punch that I can not and will not forgive. This film is bad on so many levels, and I'm about to give Sucker Punch and Zach Snyder a tase of their own medicine. So Sucker Punch and Zach Snyder...prepare to get Sucker Punch'd.

Sucker Punch is the story of Babydoll who, after a series of unfortunate incidents, is sent to a mental institution where she is set to be lobotomized. During the procedure she escapes into a fantasy world that exists only inside her mind. While my description of the plot makes sense, the way they go about telling the story in the film only confuses the viewer and turns the film into a nonsensical nightmare.

Unlike the film, I will attempt to order my complaints in a way that make sense. My first complaint: The message.

The film has heavy feminist views, but the puppet-master (Zach Snyder) is not a feminist and so the message is ultimately perverted. The film is all about female empowerment, but according to the film the female leads get their strength and power form their sexuality and their bodies. This, I'm sure, would send any true feminist into a rage. The ladies represent female empowerment, but they wear sexually suggestive clothes, and do sexually suggestive dances that turn any sane headed male intro a drooling mess.

This brings me to my second complaint with the film: It's portrayal of males. In Sucker Punch, every male seen in the film is disgusting, perverted and inherently evil (all except the wise man who appears ONLY in the dream sequences). The males in this film are easily distracted by girls dancing seductively, and while this is probably true of just about any teen male I think adults wouldn't be so easily rused. This deeply offends me. I am a man, and while I do enjoy girls in bikini's and girls dancing I'm not some perverted, dumb animal that only thinks about girls in a sexual way or is only out to hurt and abuse girls, I wouldn't lose all sense of reason or consciousness if a girl were to dance in font of me for a few minutes. I think I would notice if a girl were to steal something out of my pocket if another one was dancing in front of me. Zach Snyder's portrayal of men comes across like he watched a week's worth of Lifetime and then put those ideals into his film. It's clear he is trying to appeal to females, but he's doing it all wrong.

My third complaint with the film is it's insistence to try and make it's proceedings as nonsensical as possible, because Inception was such a popular film...right? The film starts out in the real world, then receeds into Babydoll's fantasy world, and then (during Babydoll's dance sequences) receeds even deeper into her mind only to return to her previous fantasy world when the dance ends. NOTHING MAKES ANY GODDAMNED SENSE!!!! At least in Inception the film tried to apply some form of sense and intelligence to it's proceedings, in Sucker Punch Zach Snyder throws a wrench into the gears of his film and thinks he's suceeded when audiences walk out confused. Even at the end of the film when we FINALLY return to the real world Snyder still attempts to keep things nonsensical when we are told the whole story was actually about another inmate who we aren't even given a backstory for or a reason to care about. Why would Babydoll do all this for someone she doesn't even know very well? Snyder also puts the head of the Sanitarium in an inmate uniform even though there is no reason for him to be in one except it makes the film that much more confusing. I see what you're trying to do here Snyder, but PLEASE STOP, you don't understand the art that we call film well enough to succeed in your efforts.

My fourth complaint are the fantasy-action sequences. In a way, Sucker Punch almost feels like Zach Snyder wanted to do some mini-tales he never had the chance to do, and these manifest in the numerous "dream-within-a-dream" sequences in the film. These parts don't make any sense either, as the girls are pit against dragons, steampunk Nazi's, futuristic robots, and robotic samurai soldiers. Why??? Because Zach Snyder always wanted to create these awesome scenes, he doesn't care if the audience gives a fuck-all about them... he's clearly doing this for himself and no one else. In fact, it feels like the whole film was done purely for his own entertainment, audience sensibilities were not taken into concern in any part of the film. If Zach Snyder thought it was cool, it made it into the finished product. These sequences fail to capture audiences imaginations or even their attention, because there is never any tension or reason to root for anybody inside these parts. It is made clear these parts are not actually occurring and so nobody is actually in any real danger. I wonder why Snyder didn't realize this when he was crafting these parts...maybe he just didn't care?

My fifth complaint is the violence found in the film. Now don't get me wrong, I love me some mindless violence but for some reason the violence found in Sucker Punch really rubbed me the wrong way. The violence sampled here is surprisingly brutal and intense, and not to mention there's a lot of it. The Nazi sequence is host to quite possibly the most brutal, intense volence found in the film and the Dragon sequence actually had me rooting for the Dragon to gobble all them heartless bitches up. These girls kill an innocent dragon baby just because they are told to, and when it's mother emerges in a fit of rightful vengeance we are supposed to root for her demise, when in reality she is completely justified. These girls truly deserve to die in this sequence (but they don't). I strongly believe that Sucker Punch deserved an R rating for it's depictions of violnce in the film, but somehow Snyder suckered the MPAA into letting him slip by with a PG-13, an incorrect rating for a film that can be surprisingly heartless, brutal and intense at times.

Now, let me point out the only few good things in this otherwise terrible film. Oscar Isaac is fantastic as the sleazy whorehouse owner/sanitarium head. He appears to be the only one having fun with his role and easily steals every scene he's in. Despite his status as lead villain, he's still a fun character (He also appears in Driver). Another highlight is Jon Hamm as the lobotomist, not much to be said here. He's a great actor, and while he's only in the end of the film he still plays his role pretty well. That's all the good stuff folks, sadly.

Snyder is a purely selfish filmmaker that creates films purely for his own twisted amusement, and this has never been clearer than in Sucker Punch, a film which feels like it was made purely to be played over and over in Snyder's own private viewing room. The female empowerment message is twisted and warped so that it fits Snyder's own image of females, the film never attempts to make any goddamned sense (Possibly the most frustrating aspect of Sucker Punch), it's fantasy sequences are full of dull CGI and non-exciting pieces of action ( and, of-course, TONS of super slo-mo shots), and the handling of the male characters is just as offensive and angering as the film's handling of its female characters.

So all in all, if you think you'd enjoy a good 2 hours of Zach Snyder ejaculating all over the screen...then maybe Sucker Punch is right up your alley. Myself though, I think I can find better films with which to waste my time and money on. Put simply, Sucker Punch sucks!

0.5/5 FUCK YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIME TRAVEL

Yes, it was on THIS VERY DAY that time travel was invented. On Nov. 5, 1955 Doc Brown took a nasty fall off of his toilet and hit his head, resulting in a miraculous vision...a vision that would lead to the later creation of the FLUX CAPACITOR, the very thing that makes time travel possible.

Without the Flux Capacitor, The Delorean would just be another car. So Happy Birthday Flux Capacitor and Happy Birthday Time Travel.

FAST 5 HATES THE POLICE

This is my first time ever watching a Fast and The Furious film. I went in not expecting much and I gotta say...I was pleasantly surprised.

In Fast 5, after a botched car heist Dom (Vin Diesel) brings the whole gang back together to take down evil investor Hernan Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida). Meanwhile, Brian O'Connor (Paul Walker) is busy preparing for girlfriend (and Dom's sister) Mia's (Jordana Brewster) baby. As the newest heist slowly takes shape, Dom and crew must stay one step ahead of Luke Hobbs (The Rock) and his special forces team who have been dispatched to apprehend Dom and friends before they can strike again.

Fast 5 comes across as a Robin Hood story for the new generation. The heist this time around focuses on a vault owned by Hernan Reyes in which he stores all of his ill-gotten gains. As the film progresses we learn that this is not your normal heist job since the vault is located in a military police station and it would appear that Reyes has the whole of the police force in his back pocket. If course, this leads to quite the final showdown as numerous cop cars are completely destroyed during the final thrilling car chase.

Most, I imagine, go to a Fast and Furious film for action and this film delivers that in droves. Right from the opening scene Fast 5 throws down the gauntlet and lets us all know that we are in store for a lot of mindless, drool worthy action set pieces. Unfortunately, most of these parts occur in the beginning and end of the film, Fast 5's middle section is quite boring as we are treated to lots of exposition, character build up, and exploration into this group's family dynamic. When this film is good it's really good, but when it's boring....well, bring a pillow.

One of the best scenes in Fast 5 involve the stunningly exotic Gisele Harabo (Gal Gadot), who owns just about every scene she is in due to her fantastic body. Apparently she isn't above strutting her stuff for us, as she appears in one scene with nothing but a tight fitting bikini on and we are treated to lengthy trailing hots of her ass as the camera follows closely behind her. She really owns that bikini in this scene, and she isn't afraid to show off her goods. Even for a PG-13 film, it's still quite a show (the ass gods done good work on this one).

By far the best part of this film (and possibly the most enjoyable character in it as well) is The Rock as Bad-ass macho man Luke Hobbs. This film marks a return to form for The Rock, he easily breaks away from his watered down image that Disney created for him and steps back into a classic role that he is an expert at playing. His character is reminiscent of his characters in The Scorpion King, The Mummy 2, and Doom. It's great to see he still can play the hardened bad-ass, and makes for a refreshing breath of air. For an actor that has grown stale in the past couple of years, he really shines here and is easily unforgettable. A lot of the film's charm lies in his character (and his portrayal of said character here) and the film just wouldn't have the same oomph without The Rock in it.

So, in the end the good outweighs the bad in Fast 5. If you like high octane car chases and fiery fast paced action scenes then I'm sure you will get a kick out of Fast 5. Fast 5 reminded me of the films I grew up with and would watch when I was younger, so it holds an almost nostalgic quality for me. Either way, Fast 5 easily emerges as the best action film I have seen in 2011 thus far.

4/5 Stars

BEETLE'S TRAILER REVIEW: PROJECT X

This has officially become one of my most anticipated films of 2012. No need to say any more, roll the trailer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecLYhvu_WQY&list=PL8922AE7C9FEBB977&index=165&feature=plpp_video

The trailer doesn't give much away about the film, and I hope the marketing campaign keeps this strategy going. It's great to see a trailer that doesn't ruin the whole damn film for audiences.

From what I can make out in the trailer, Project X is about a high school kid named Thomas that decides to throw a party while his parents are away in an attempt to become cool and to nail some of the girls he's had his eye on. Naturally, the party grows and grows as word spreads and eventually it seems to grow out of control and cops are called in to contain it. Not the most realistic of scenarios, but it does have a certain appeal to it.

Included in the trailer is some POV cam shots (if the film will be filmed entirely like this is still left to be seen), some hot girls dancing and being provocative, Thomas jumping from a roof into a bounce house, a car being driven into a pool, a killer re-mix of Kid Cudi's Pursuit of Happiness, and the words "You're Invited" in large print near the end.

All in all, I'm digging the plot so far and I hope it's as simplistic as it sounds. The trailer has officially sparked my interest and seems to promise mucho fun. So all in all Project X looks like it's shaping up to be one helluva party, where do I RSVP?

CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY: A VERY HAROLD AND KUMAR CHRISTMAS

Hey there Beetleheads! Now that Halloween has finally ended, I think it's about time for me to start to get in the yuletide spirit and what better way to celebrate the holidays than with some of the green stuff.

In A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas we meet back up with our favorite duo six years after Guantanamo Bay. Harold and Kumar have parted ways and now Harold is married to the very hot Maria and is in a panic trying to impress her hardcore dad during the holidays (played by Danny "Machete" Trejo) and Kumar is stuck at a dead end with his life as he only has the energy to stay home and get high. Fate would appear to have greater plans for our duo though. When a mysterious package arrives at Kumar's door addressed to Harold, Kumar goes to deliver it to him and both men accidentally burn down Machete's prized Christmas tree. Suddenly the race is on to find a replacement tree before the night ends, and of course things don't go exactly as planned creating one helluva crazy christmas night.

Harold and Kumar's 4th theatrical outing is the most ambitious and wild of them all, taking stabs at religion, the holidays, and even 3D (there are quite a few jokes about 3D in the film)! The film is surprisingly clever and can be quite subtle with how it takes on all the new material here. From Kal Penn's new real life job at The White House, to NPH's sexuality, to classic holiday claymation cartoons, to minorities, to even JESUS,  nothing is safe in A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas and that I love that. You never know what they're going to take a stab at next.

Not to mention the 3D is some of the best I've seen. Most films these days focus on the depth aspect of 3D, not Harold and Kumar. This film says "SCREW DEPTH, people want things flying out at them!" and they deliver this in droves. From pot smoke, to christmas trees, to snow, to ping pong balls, to eggs, many things will fly out of the screen and seem to be right in front of your nose. Not many films can achieve this, but Harold and Kumar does it with ease.

As always, NPH steals every scene he's in from an impressive Christmas 3D spectacle to a hilarious lengthy scene in his dressing room in which we learn the truth about NPH's sexuality. He comes across as a bigger asshole than in the other films here, but is still all the more loveable, I just wish there were more of him here. I guess it just goes to show that you can't keep this guy down.

Despite all the hilarity and drug consuming to be found here, A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas manages to feel like a real Christmas film. There are strong themes about family and friendship to be found here, and there's quite a bit of heart that lie under the crazed proceedings, perhaps that's why this Harold and Kumar film manages to stand tall above the others. Don't be surprised if you walk out of the theater humming a Christmas tune.

A very Harold and Kumar Christmas is easily the best film in the series so far (It's also one of the most meta films you will ever find). It's exceedingly clever, subtle (at times), hilarious, smart, and naughty. It knows who it's target audience is and goes about coming up with ways to keep them thoroughly entertained. If you don't like stoner comedy or marijuana being heavily consumed in a holiday film then this film is definitely not for you. However, if you get a kick out of a toddler ingesting three different illegal substances in one night and tripping her little head off or the awesomeness of an ass-kicking waffle-bot that falls in love with kumar then I can safely say that this is very much your film. Harold and kumar may take a bite out of some of our beloved holiday traditions, but the proceedings are done in a light-hearted, fun way and manage to never come across as mean spirited ( A miracle!). It's one of the best holiday films to come out in recent years, and that's saying a lot. All in all, A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas is a fun way to start out the holiday season.

4.5/5 Stars

BEETLE REVIEWS THE ORIGINAL HALLOWEEN 2

Halloween 2 is the film in which I first fell in love with Michel Meyers.

Halloween was a horror classic. It created a horror icon in the guise of Michael Meyers and Halloween 2 serves to cement this undeniable fact.

Halloween 2 picks up literally just moments after the first one ended with Loomis running outside to find Michael has vanished and Laurie being carried into an ambulance to be taken to a hospital for her wounds received in the first film. Loomis quickly rallies together the local police force to track Michael down and put a reign to his terror. While they search the streets, the hospital Laurie is being housed at becomes host to a whole new slew of murders as it becomes increasingly obvious that Michael will not rest until he has killed Laurie.

Halloween 2 may not be as widely loved as it's classic predecessor is but don't let that fool you, this is still very much a great film nontheless, succeeding at adding new elements into it that the original Halloween did not have.

For me, quite possible the most interesting thing Halloween 2 does is give us a somewhat intimate look at how Michael's killing spree has affected the small town of Haddonfield, Illinois. The citizens are in a panic and riot at the Meyer's home, throwing rocks at its windows in a frightened rage. This scene was particularly effective. The town's overall reaction to this violent event is wholly believable and quite sad, it is obvious that it will take a while for the town of Haddonfield to get over these gruesome events.

Another thing that this film adds is a new level of violence that was, I imagine, quite brutal for it's time. Just about all the kills are inventive. Unlike it's predecessor, the camera does not shy away from these kills, lingering on them and even switching to close up shots as the victims are murdered. The violence here is similar to the violence that can be sampled in just about any horror film today, and I guess in this way Halloween 2 may have been ahead of it's time. My personal favorite kill is the hot tub, This is where the film first reveals that this time around it will be reveling in the vast amount of gore and kills that are sure to follow in this film. Deliciously sick, twisted and brutal, the hot tub kill is, in my opinion, the most memorable kill in the whole film.

There are also some really cool shots in this film, like one where Michael walks right through a glass door. We all already know that Michael is a unstoppable force of great evil, and Halloween 2 only further drives that point home. Here, he has a brute strength that is breathtaking and terrifying in all the right ways (like one scene where he stabs a girl in the back and then proceeds to lift her off the floor with his small knife/scapel). In Halloween 2 Michael is still treated like a mysterious, supernatural (and pretty smart) force, much like he was in the first Halloween film. This is very much the same Michael Meyers we saw in the first film, thank God for that.

I mentioned in my review of the original Halloween that there was no nudity to be found in that film. Well, there ain't much to be sampled in Halloween 2 either, but there is thankfully, one scene of boobage that whet my appetite. It's not much, but it will have to do.

Where the themes in Halloween were deliciously subtle, the themes in Halloween 2 are paraded around for all to see. This isn't a bad thing, as it may help to spark discussions amongst those who view the film. One theme that is brought up for one short scene implies that maybe Michael represents the unconcious mind, a theme that Rob Zombie would later fully explore (not to great effect if I must be honest) in his re-boot and sequel.

It is likely that the most important thing that Halloween 2 contributed to the Halloween franchise is the story point that Laurie is actually Michael's sister. This helps to give Michael some more motivation. Most Halloween fans have accepted this plot point to be true, and while it may strip away a tiny bit of the mystery of Michael Meyers it still leaves just enough so that Michael remains as terrifying as ever.

While Halloween 2 may be more of a common slasher film, it's still super fun to watch all these years later. I know I'll definitely be re-watching this one for years to come. It may not be as scary or important as the first Halloween was, but this sequel still rocks in all the ways that count. I DARE you not to love it!

4/5 Stars

BEETLE'S 2ND ANNUAL FRIGHT FEST: JOHN CARPENTER'S HALLOWEEN

Tonight, I bring my Fright Fest to a close with a film that helped to breathe life back into a sub-genre and helped to create a horror icon. Here's my review for Halloween.

This is the shining example of what an atmospheric horror film should be. John Carpenter has always been the master at creating a good, rich atmosphere and it really shows here. The film takes place on Halloween night in 1978 and the darkness of the night overshadows the film, creeping into every corner so that the main antagonist can really be just about anywhere, he could jump out from any darkened corner or room and anyone is fair game.

If you don't know by now, the main antagonist is Michael Meyers (not to be confused with Mike Meyers the comedian). Halloween is truly his film above anyone else's and it is within these confines that he ultimately emerges as an unforgettable horror icon. He will not stop, he will not rest, until he finishes off the target of his killing spree: Laurie Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis). In Halloween, Michael is portrayed as an unstoppable force of evil and also as an engine of fate. Here, he is almost a supernatural force, as he pops up and disappears in short bursts (this effect is a bit overdone but it sure does drive the point home). I like that Michale isn;t really given a backstory here and is just an unhinged being that is driven to kill others for reasons we may never fully understand, and I LOVE that about him (if only all killers in films were handled this way). Another interesting to note about Michael is that, while he's not above killing off males, his primary targets seem to be teenage females. This raises an interesting question: Is Michael turned on by these girls and is killing them his way of attempting to rid himself of his sexual desires (was he turned on by his older sister when he killed her as a child, maybe Michale himself is at the mercy of his sexual desire, a driving force that he himself may not understand. Could Michael himself be a twisted victim of sorts as well?)

One of the film's main themes (as it is subtly pointed out in an earlier scene) is fate and how it cannot be avoided. No matter what you do, your fate will always catch up with you and so it goes for Laurie.

There isn't much story to Halloween. A crazed psychotic madman escapes from an insane asylum 15 years after he murdered his sister as a child and heads for home with the determined psychologist, Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance), hot on his trail. Unfortunately, nothing can stand in Michael's way as he slowly and methodically kills off each of Laurie's friends before finally making his way to Laurie herself.

Halloween has almost become a sort of modern day fable....a classic story that can be told around a campfire late at night. Due to it's numerous sequels and the reboot films made by Rob Zombie Halloween has become deply rooted in just about everyone's psyche...as it well should.

On display here are just about every trope we have come to know and loe in moder day horror films. Dark, creepy houses; a crazed knife happy killer (even though Michael likes to use his hands too); sexually loosed teen females, and the virginal pure girl that is destined to be the only one left to fight the monster in the end. The only trope this film misses is nudity, which I find curious. There are several scenes of implied nudity and there are some pretty hot sexually suggestive shots of the females in here, but in reality the film doesn't need nudity to make it good. It does raise one question though: What film helped to create the trend of naked girls in film?

Halloween may not be outright terrifying but I DARE you to try and have a peaceful night's rest after seeing this film. It's pretty much the definition of a psychological horror film. Set in a small town pretty much like yours or mine, the horror that inevitably occurs here feels like it could also occur where you are at the current moment and because of Michael's tendency to hide in dark shadows it's just about a guarantee that a night light will be required to get a full nights rest. This film will crawl under your skin and lodge itself deep inside the recesses of your subconscious...it's unforgettable.

Halloween is not only an important horror film since it helped to revitalize the slasher genre, it's also one of the more effective ones that can be sampled today. It makes for strongly recommended Halloween night viewing. Feel free to give the re-boot and it's sequel a viewing just as long as you see the original one FIRST.

5 STARS

So just like that, my fright Fest has come to an end. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Here's wishing all you ghosties and ghoulies out there a very happy Halloween. Until next time, stay safe

BEETLE'S 2ND ANNUAL FRIGHT FEST: TRICK 'R TREAT

Hey there beetleheads, It's officially Halloween. Tonight I will be reviewing two films in honor of the occasion. We start off with Trick 'r Treat.

Trick 'r Treat is one of the better horror anthologies out there today, but hasn't gained the wide release it so badly deserved. Instead, it was released straight to DVD after a long battle to find a theatrical distributor (That's right, this film was SUPPOSED to hit theaters).

Trick 'r Treat is the story of one small town on Halloween and focuses on 5 unique tales that all occur on this special night and are interwoven and intertwined with each other.

There's a tale about a married couple, a crotchety old timer, three tricky kids and an idiot savant, three sexy females and their virgin friend who is looking for someone to be her first time, and their's a seemingly friendly school principal.

One of the neat things about Trick 'r Treat is that one of it's main themes has to do with adherence to the age old rules of Halloween (dressing up, trick or treating, never blowing out the jack o' lantern, and checking candy). It's also neat that all stories occur on the same night.

All in all, Trick 'r Treat may not be much scary and it may feel like it's trying too hard at times, but it is creepy enough to warrant a Halloween night viewing.

4/5 Stars

BEETLE'S TRAILER REVIEW: THE LORAX

I, like many, was raised on the books of the classic author Dr. Suess. I had been in theaters to see every film that was based on one of his books. I was there for the great film version of Dr. Suess' How The Grinch Stole Christmas, the super crappy Cat In The Hat, and the highly enjoyable Horton Hears A Who. Now, another film version of one of his classic tales is set to hit theaters Spring 2012: The Lorax. The trailer has just debuted and honestly, it looks pretty promising.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=M_T6SsDvO7Q

It looks like this film's got everything I remember being in the book. Truffula Trees (The trees, the Truffula Trees!), Bar-ba-Loots (with their Bar-ba-Loot suits), Swome Swans, Humming Fish, and even what appears to be an environmental message of sorts. To me, it looks pretty incredible.

Despite the oddball song playing in the background, it looks like this film gets it. As far as I can tell the film sticks fairly close to the story of the book: Kid visits Once-ler and is told a tale that involves the Oncer-ler's past and mistakes he made that he now regrets. Of course there is some backstory given to the kid (pretty much he has a crush on a girl and he wants to bring her back a real life truffula Tree, and it is his quest for one that brings him to the Oncer-ler's doorstep which sets the events of the book into motion...it all feels very natural, which is a plus). Of course, trailers can be misleading but you can call me hopeful (I always expect great things from the studio that brought us Despicable Me). Chalk me up as one of the people who will definitely be seeing this film when it is released next year.

BEETLE'S 2ND ANNUAL FRIGHT FEST: HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS 21

Hey there Beetle-heads! Today I bring you my trip report from scare central: Halloween Horror Nights 21. This year, I'm doing my usual trip report in a different format. You see, I had the great fortune of being able to buy a frequent fear pass for HHN 21, this little ticket allows you to visit HHN 21 multiple times for the price of one admission. Pretty much what I'm saying here is that I got to visit HHN 21 a total of four times, and got to go with different people each time so, instead of recounting one night's trip I will be instead going over each house and scarezone individually, assigning a score to each and rating them from 1 to 8 (for the houses) and from 1 to 6 (for the scarezones). Ready or not, here's my trip report from HHN 21.

For each area/house, the description I give will be the official description from the HHN website. The review will be my own though.

SCAREZONES

Let's start off with scarezones. The scarezones this year are one of the weaker parts of the overall event. Usually the scarezones are pretty well developed and designed, not so much this year. Apparently, all the money went into another facet of the event that I will get to later. So for now, let's delve into the scarezones to be found at HHN 21

ACID ASSAULT: For decades now the city has been degrading from the effects of Acid Rain that still falls today. Those that have lived and survived the blistering decay are all alone in the city. Survivors have stripped the city of all life to sustain their own...Dare to enter the Acide Assault!

So, pretty much self-explanatory here. We are entering a city that has been under a constant acid rain that has warped the citizens into homicidal freaks that are out to get us. Sounds like an average theme for a scarezone, but Universal stepped it up here. Acid Assault is located in the New York section of the park, and HHN takes full advantage of the setting here. Acid Assault is easily the best looking scarezone to walk through. Universal has a specual projection system set up to give off the illusion that the buildings in this area are crumbling down as we walk through, it's pretty damn neat. The scarectors are pretty cool here. I didn't get many scares but the makeup and costume design are superb. That said, I do have one major complaint: when the event first began there was a neat acid rain effect they had going on, but as the event continued this effect vanished. True, it was only soap suds they had falling down (I think that's what it was), but the effect really helped to cement the theming in this zone and with it gone it detracted a tad bit from the overall experience.

Rating: 8/10

Rank: # 4

CANYON OF DARK SOULS: Upon entering into the Canyon of Dark Souls, you will feel like a small spec of humanity as the overwhelming sense of death surrounds you. Creatures that dwell within the Canyon are not welcoming so walk slowly as to not disturb them.

This zone was pretty fun. There's not much design here, just two black walls that are on opposite sides of each other but close together creating the feel of a long, dark canyon. Despite the lack of theming here, the scareactors here are the hardest working ones I've seen at the event. Their costumes look bad ass (like hulking skeletons with black hoods) and there are ground walkers and stilt walkers creating a good sense of variety here. The whole canyon is filled with thick, all encompassing fog that easily disorients the visitor. Walking through this zone freaked me out because I didn't want to stumble into one of the scareactors. The scareactors would occasionally roam further outside their zone and thus extend the zone by a little bit (so cool to see this). Overall, this was one of my personal favorite zones of the event and it was always a joy to walk through it.

Rating: 8.5/10

Rank: #3

GROWN EVIL: Enter, if you dare, into our garden where Evil grows. Nature has taken this once well manicured sanctuary back from the humans who once kept it. Now the creatures that inhabit the garden are making any human that enters their prey!!!

I have always loved the central park area during HHN. Usually this part is filled with fog, darkness and glowing pumpkins. This year, Universal went the extra mile and decided to turn it into its very own scarezone. The Central Park area is beautifully themed to an overgrown park that has been invaded by evil winged creatures (alot of whom are played by females, HAWT females.). While the park is wonderfully realized, there wasn't a whole lot of scare potential to be had here. Sure, it was definitely creepy, but I only got maybe a few scares here and there, even less as the event rolled on. That said, it was always fun to walk through and marvel at the ladies in this zone and the costume design. Truly beautiful. I hope they continue to work on this area and perfect it with each proceeding event.

Rating: 8/10

Rank: #5

7: As daylight shines upon our temptresses, their appearance, though evil, allows you the spectacle of beauty. As night falls, these 7 temptresses will show their true colors and take on their true fatal evil forms!! Beware of your own temptations!

Now THIS...was a neat scarezone. Truly original and innovative. I love the theme of the seven deadly sins taking on human form and slowly degrading on throughout the night. I only got to visit this like, once, but it definitely made a lasting impression. While it would appear the sins would be the stars here (each portrayed by a beautiful female), in reality it's the numerous minions that steal the show. The sins themselves are confined to a small stage and have to strike poses throughout the night. they aren't much scary, but they are fun to watch. The minions however, are given free reign to roam around the zone. Each sin has her own special batch of demons (themed to the sin they serve), and each are pretty scary looking. I got a LOT of scares in here, and I loved it. This is also one of the only scarezones that had chainsaws inside it.

Rating: 9/10

Rank: #2

NIGHTMAZE: Journey through the ever changing maze of darkness! This all black maze will change and morph as you walk through it!!! You will not be scared the same way twice!

This area has pretty much NO theming to it. Inside it is pitch dark and there are a bunch of black moveable walls and scareactors clad all i black that easily blend into the darkness and the walls. WHAT A GREAT SET UP! True, I never had many scares in here, but the atmosphere created inside is super tense. Every corner you turn there could be a scareactor waiting to meet you or a wall that slams shut in front of you or moves to take you on a different path. The scarezone changes and re-arranges itself (with help from the scareactors) as you walk through it, which is pretty neat. It's very different from what your typical scarezone is at HHN. Most I talked to really didn't care for this one, BUT I LOVED IT!!!! I like how different and ambitious it is and is definitely my favorite scarezone of this year ( and one of my al time favs in the history of HHN).

Rating: 9/10

Rank: #1

YOUR LUCK JUST RUN OUT: Enter if you dare into the lair of the Lucky. Your choices will determine if you make it out alive! Witness Lucks deadly wrath. Will she choose you to be her next victim?

More like this SCAREZONE'S luck just ran out. This has got to be one of the worst scarezones I have ever seen in HHN. Sting Alley is a great, small, claustrophobic area that is full of great scare potential but HHN squandered that potential by putting in scattered theming, never putting any great scare opportunities in here. This is the Icon zone, and the Icon his year was Lady Luck (by far the worst Icon I think we've had thus far, but I'll get into that later). In here there are 3 characters you WILL run into: Sexy Luck, Monster Luck, and Luck's Minion's. The Sexy Lucks are mainly up on the catwalks and can't really do much from there except beckon to us and look pretty damn sexy. They wear a long green dress, and that's pretty much it. The Monster Lucks wear a badly designed mask that is neither frightening nor scary. They have scare cues (a loud pre-recorded roar/scream) that they jump out on, but that;s about it. The scariest and best part of the zone are the Minions: they are dressed in black suit-like outfits and carry axes and chainsaws, I really liked them and they got me quite a few times in here. I was seriously disappointed in this scarezone, It's always sad when such a rich area like Sting Alley isn't used to it's full terrifying potential (like it was last year in Saws n Steam). I don't blame the scareactors here, I know they tried to do the best could with what they were given to work with.

Rating: 4/10

Rank: #6

HOUSES

I said before that most of the money in HHN 21 seemed to be diverted into a specific area of the event...this area was the houses. HHN 21 played host to some of the best, most well-designed and well themed houses I have seen in HHN history. Without any further ado I present: the houses of HHN 21

NIGHTINGALES: BLOOD PREY- Within every war, the Nightingales have appeared. Able to transform themselves to fit any setting, these savage banshees feed on the weak and helpless. Patrolling WWI era trenches, you discover that you are more than just at war...You are being hunted.

This house was amazing on every damned level. As soon as you step inside you are face to face with a WW1 trench, a battle tank perched on top, the sounds of machine gun fire, and strobes. When i first saw all this I took a step back so I could better take it in. Right from second one, it feel like you have just stepped into the middle of battle. It would appear that you would find safety in the trenches as the war rages on above and around you...no such luck because the trenches are wear the fatal creatures of the house's title lurk. By day they look like normal hospital nurses, by night they transform into hidious beings that slowly suck the life force out of the weak and injured. The theming is superb, and the backstory is haunting and exceptionally well-done (I will be repeating this in just about every house review). The Nightingales are terrifying and tend to jump out when the machine gun fire climaxes in an explosion of light and sound (an effect that always sent me running). Definitely one of the scariest houses I have seen at HHN. I love how, as we travel on through the house, the Nightingales grow more monstrous and violent. It's a superb house that I'm sure will never leave my memory.

Rating: 9/10

Rank: #4

H.R. BLOODENGUTZ PRESENTS HOLIDAYS OF HORROR:Join creature feature host H.R. Bloodengutz in his final televised broadcast as he presents a scare-athon of holiday-based horror that is guaranteed to cleave you screaming for more.

In this house, a washed up actor has found work playing a late night B horror film host. When the manager of the television station he works at fires him right before one of his shows, The actor snaps and kidnaps the manager and slowly tortures him (eventually murdering him) during what will be the actor's last broadcast. Probably the best part of this house is the queue video in which we get to watch the actor's (his tv show name is H.R. Bloodengutz) last show as he tortures the manager. In the house, we get to walk through the horror films he is hosting, which are all holiday themed. It's pretty well-themed but ti's never laugh out loud funny or run away screaming scary. It's an enjoyable house nontheless and is worth a wait just to watch the superbly well-done queu vud and to get to meet HR in person (in the opening room of the house).

Rating: 7/10

Rank: #8

SAWS N' STEAM: INTO THE MACHINE- Spinning blades and massive, crushing pistons await you around every corner as you are forced deeper into the bowels of a mechanical nightmare. Give yourself to "The Machine".

If you visited HHN 20 last year then you should remember the scarezone that took full advantage of Sting Alley, Saws N Steam. In this scarezone, the small seaside town of New Yorkshire fell victim to steam vents that opened up around the town and drained the area of all water. It didn't take long for citizens to panic and begin to mutilate each other and visitors, extracting the water from bodies so they could survive. The house Into The Machine is a continuation of that story. In New Yorkshire a new cultish company named Horizions Extraction Company (I'll give you one guess what they are extracting, tee hee) has opened up promising citizens of New Yorkshire a better life if they join the company. We are playing citizens of the town that have decided to join the company, and of course the Horizon's promise of a better life is all bull. As we travel further into the bowels of the company it is revealed that the Horizon is killing citizens who join and sucking the water out of their bodies. This house was soooooo cool. It's got a very steampunk vibe with neat machines and saw buzzing and whirring and crazed Horizon workers chasing after us all the way through. yes, this house does have a fair amount of chainsaws, so that was a plus. I got many, many scares in here and even got to travel through all by myself during one visit (a true highlight for me, since all scareactor's full attention was on me, I LOVED IT). If ever there was a house to break the curse of the Jaws Queue, this one is it. The house feels fairly lengthy and manages (amazingly) to tell one complete story. It's also got a lot of great water effects (probably the wettest house I've been through, definitely refreshing on a hot night). Of course we do see people getting tortured here, but for most of the house the scareactor's attention is fully on us. Most of the scareactors here are on their A game, and there are some pretty cool SFX to be sampled here as well (like the room where the walls are turning saws that close in on us, the room where water seems to shoot up from the floor, the scuba scareactor that jumps out from a curtain of water scaring us and getting us wet...the whole house is truly superb in every single flippin way). All in All, this is one of the top houses of the night. If you missed Into The Machine then you missed much (It's also one of my favorite houses in HHN history).

Rating: 10/10

Rank: #2

THE THING: Paranoia spreads like an epidemic among a group of researchers in an isolated Antarctic outpost as they are infected, one by one, by a horrifying creature from another planet. In a place where there is nothing, they found something.

While the 2011 film was bad, this house was fantastic. Much like the HHN 19's The Wolfman, this house succeeds at making visitors feel like they have stepped into the 2011 film and the Thing universe. There are little details here and there that won't mean much unless you have seen the film. The atmosphere is great, and getting to see the "pure" form of the Thing was a thrill. Wonderfully themed, and thoroughly freaky The Thing makes for a fun house that is fun to re-visit.

Rating: 8/10

Rank: #6

WINTER'S NIGHT: THE HAUNTING OF HAWTHORN CEMETERY- As snow falls on this normally serene gothic cemetery, the deceased souls that occupy its confines have their sights set upon you. Insuring that the chill you feel up your spine is more than just the cold of night.

This was my personal favorite house of the night (it's not the top house though). The house feels like you're classic haunted cemetery, but at the same time it's so much more than that. The facade is beautifully serene as snow falls around us and a biting chill nips at your neck. This house has got the most elaborate backstory I've seen to a house in HHN. Pretty much a rich newly wed couple (Elizabeth and Johnathan Hawthorn) are looking for an area of land on which to build their home/mansion. Given 2 choices, they make the wrong choice and soon Elizabeth falls ill. Johnathan calls upon a slew of doctors but none can fix her, so he eventually calls upon Trumbull, a shady alchemist to cure his wife. Even Trumbull's attempts fail and eventually Elizabeth dies, after her death Trumbull uses a strange concoction as a substitute to formaldehyde. Johnathan turns the land into a sprawling cemetery in memory of his late beloved wife, and it is discovered that Elizabeth's ghost (apparently unable to rest due to the strange concoction placed in her body) and all the other dead rise to walk the grounds once every year. We happen to visiting on that night. With Johnathan long dead, one of Trumbull's descendants is now in care of the cemetery and has created a liquid which he uses to light the area, which creates a blue light that keeps the spirits in the cemetery. The whole area is beautifully themed, the cold helping to cement the illusion that we are up north. It really does feel like we are traveling through an actual cemetery, and there are some pretty neat effects sampled within. All scareactors are on their A game here, and wear really cool looking costumes. This is definitely another one of my favorite houses in the history of HHN and I made sure to visit it every time I attended this year's event.

Rating: 9/10

Rank: #3

THE FORSAKEN: Four ships began Columbus' fateful voyage, only three became legend. Condemned to a watery grave, the mutinous and cursed crew of that 4th ship has returned with a vengeance. For within the walls of a spanish fort, A maelstrom has brought from the depths...death itself.

This house is loosely based on john Carpenter's The Fog. To get into this house, you have to walk through a screen of fog, and once you do you find yourself in the dungeons of the spanish fort. This house was really cool, but was never really scary. The reason i continually traveled through this house was to marvel at the theming inside and at the movie quality sets inside. Throughout the house we are walking in the middle of a hurricane and there are gusts of wind and water that really help to add to that illusion and were probably my favorite part of this house. We start out navigating through the Spanish fort, then travel outside into the courtyard and eventually wind up on the Forsaken's ship. The costume design for The Forsaken were some of my favorites with their glowing green eyes and watery sailor garb they were truly a sight to remember (It was also fun to get to interact with them, I had a staring contest with one). This was another memorable house and another one of my personal faves of recent years. We don't ever get to see the Forsaken and the fort's resident's fighting (we do hear sword fighting though), we mainly see the after effects that mainly include mutilated soldiers. Overall, this was a really neat house that I thoroughly enjoyed walking through.

Rating: 9/10

Rank: #5

NEVERMORE: THE MADNESS OF POE- The madness of Edgar Allen Poe's greatest works has come to life. Step into the mind of the iconic writer, where every turn of the page takes you closer to the brink of insanity.

I really dug this house. I have been a fan of Edgar for a while now and it was a true treat to be able to enter his stories. Probably the best part of the house though was whenever Poe showed up, whether it be in his home (first scene of Nevermore) or in one of his stories. There are several Poe's in here, and somehow they all felt like the same guy...a real treat. Yeah, Poe does try to be scary but I just couldn't be scare by him. Every time he showed up I wanted to hug him and on my last trip through the house I would call out to some of he Poe's, saying I loved them. In this house we get to travel though Several of Poe's famous stories, including but not limited to The Raven, Masque of The Red Death, The Tell-Tale Heart, Pit and The Pendulum, and The Black Cat. For me what was the best aspect of the house was when Poe would appear in his stories, acting almost as a twisted tour guide to us. the last room was also fantastic with a completely crazed Edgar dancing around. This yet ANOTHER of my favorites in HHN history, it was truly a dream/nightmare come to life and I loved every second of it. That's why this nabs the top house title of the event for me.

Rating: 10/10

Rank: #1

THE IN-BETWEEN: An ominous portal reveals a 3rd dimension where all is not what it seems: A realm where our world and another collide. Surrounded by fiendish creatures, your eyes will deceive you with every step through this phantasm of terror.

This house was my first ever 3D house, and DAMN was it cool. As soon as you walk inside you find yourself traveling down a college dorm hallway and right into a dorm room adorned with posters, in the middle of the room is a pulsing red Ouija like board that emits bursts of smoke occasionally. It's a great opening that immediately throws you right into this houses world. The story here is that a college student steals a professors cool looking game board, unaware that it is actually a portal into a terrifying dimension known as the In-Between. In this house we are sucked into the In-Between and get to explore this new and mesmerizing realm. The whole house plays like an acid trip gone very very bad. The highlights were the spinning tunnel (in 3D, i felt like I was about to fall over on myself and vomit. It was especially bad when the line was slow and it took forever to get through this part...I wanted to curl up in a ball and sob to myself), the spinning head room, the lazer room, a room FULL of multi-colored yarn, and a never-ending hallway effect that was particularly effective. The scareactors here were on their A game, taking every opportunity to scare guests when they were off guard or dizzy, their costumes were absolutely demonic. The 3D made them seem closer to you than they actually were (I think?) and their red eyes seemed to float out of their heads (a very neat creepy effect). Every time I got out of this house it would take me a while to catch my bearings and I loved that. This house thrilled me, chilled me and fulfilled me (like the unneeded Rocky Horror Reference here?).

Rating: 8/10

Rank: #7

Let me just say that every house this year was absolutely FANTASTIC and blew me away like other years never could have imagined. The only house i felt was lacking was Bloodengutz , and event that was entertaining. Pretty much every house that came in at 1- 7 ranking were tops and some of the best I have seen.

SHOWS

BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE: Party on as those two most excellent dudes return to skewer the biggest names in entertainment and pop culture.

I'm a huge fan of Bill and Ted, so I always make a point to attempt to see their show every year. That said, this was one of the weaker shows I've seen but it was still mounds better than last year's show. The plot this year is that a green alien (strongly resembling The Great Gazoo for whatever reason) lands on Earth with a mission to destroy it due to the terrible pop culture found here and he's going to start with Bill and Ted (because they celebrate mediocrity or something like that). It's up to Bill and Ted to get a group of pop culture and entertainment icons together from last year and prove this alien wrong.

PROS: Conan/Coco, an amazing finale (best one I've seen in my 3 yrs attending), Kickstart My Heart (It was awesome on so many levels to see the whole group ganged together jamming out with Bill and Ted in the lead with guitars), Mr. Chow from The Hangover/Hangover Part 2 (Delivered the best opening I have ever seen), Smurfette (this sequence made me feel like a pervert, but WOW was she hot. There was also a part where she was dancing and you could see her panties), Osama Bin Laden (Definitely came out of left field but every time he was on i laughed my as off), Bush and Obama/Seal Team 6 (Great surprise), Charlie Sheen (barely used but it's still good to see him in the show), Captain Mexico (I would seriously buy a Captain Mexico shirt, this guy was awesome and shows that the writers still got it), The set ( Straight out of the film, resembles a Circle K but is called a 69 for whatever reason, maybe legal issues?), and there's also a great joke about the audience being drunk and another audience pleaser about little kids at the event.

CONS: Many characters seemed out of place or completely random, many jokes didn't hit their mark like they should have, the way they wrap up the villain's storyline was really weird, and the villain for this year's show was lame (but fun, better than last year's villain).

So yeah, the show was one of the weaker ones I've seen but I do enjoy it for what it is. I think of this year's BnT show as good, campy fun which is why I was able to have a blast with it despite it's shortcomings.

Rating: 7/10

ICON: LADY LUCK

I had to take time out to talk about the weakest part of the event for myself. The Icon for this year: Lady Luck. It felt as if the designers had the event planned out and threw her in last second because the public loves Icons. Well HHN, may I be Frank? Please don't throw in an Icon if you can't find a use for her. They had her tie into each house in a way that felt forced and unecessary ( she doesn't appear in the houses though. In In-Between's backstory I guess she was the professor, in Bloodengutz's backstory she was the girl who offered HR the job at the TV studio, in Forsaken's backstory she was Queen Isabella, In Nevermore's backstory she was the girl who sold Edgar the ticket to Baltimore, in Winter's Night's backstory she was the one who offered The Hawthorn's the two plots of land, I don't even know who she was in Nightingales and Saws N Steam!). From now on if uni. can;t come up with a good Icon they should just stick to an overall theme. This year I felt she failed to tie together the event like she should have and only dragged it down. So, those are my thoughts on that.

OVERALL EVENT

Despite the scarezones and the lackluster Icon I feel that this is the best HHN since 2008's. This year's event plays host to some of the best, most well-themed, elaborate, and strongest houses I've seen in my 4 years of attending HHN. I'm almost depressed that this year's event has to end, because I'm having a hard time imaginging how they could possibly top these houses next year. I guess I just have to have faith in the designers and co-ordinators of HHN, I'm sure they'll find some way to surprise me. So, till next year, this has been your Ghost Host with the most most Beetlejuice, signing off from Scare Central! See ya next year, same time same place!

Final Rating: 5/5

OVERVIEW

SCAREZONES

1. NIGHTMAZE 9/10

2. 7 9/10

3. CANYON OF DARK SOULS 8.5/10

4. ACID ASSAULT 8/10

5. GROWN EVIL 8/10

6. YOUR LUCK JUST RAN OUT 4/10

HOUSES

1. NEVERMORE: THE MADNESS OF POE 10/10

2. SAW N STEAM: INTO THE MACHINE 10/10

3. WINTER'S NIGHT: THE HAUNTING OF HAWTHORN CEMETERY 9/10

4. NIGHTINGALES: BLOOD PREY 9/10

5. THE FORSAKEN 9/10

6. THE THING 8/10

7. THE IN-BETWEEN 8/10

8. H. R. BLOODENGUTZ PRESENTS HOLIDAYS OF HORROR 7/10