THE INTERVIEW IS HILARIOUS FUN

Wow, what a bumpy road it has been. For a while there, it seemed like none of us would be able to view The Interview quite possibly ever. Luckily, Sony manned up, stuck their middle fingers to North Korea, and are inviting us to join them in solidarity. The Interview has been released to select theaters and on Youtube. Like it or not, this whole debacle has turned The Interview into a film that is bigger than what it is, it's become a symbol now. Would it ever have become as popular and big as it is now if it weren't for North Korea's overblown reaction to the film? Quite possibly not, but the only question that really matters now is this : is The Interview any good? Was it worth the hype, turmoil, and danger?

In The Interview; moronic, self-obsessed celebrity interviewer and host of his own talk show (and a huge fan of Lord of The Rings) Dave Skylark (James Franco) is invited to North Korea to interview self-proclaimed fan Kim Jong-un (Randall Park). His best friend and producer, Aaron Rapaport (Seth Rogen) tags along for the ride. Before they can take off for that most dangerous of countries, they are visited by the US Government. Seeing how almost no one is ever given one on one time alone with Kim Jong Un, The US Gov has a very big request for these two: Assassinate Kim Jong-un and win one for freedom and democracy. The task becomes even more difficult when Skylark begins to form a bro-mantic relationship with Kim Jong-un. Is Kim Jong-un not the villain that the news would make him out to be, or is Skylark just the latest victim of Kim Jong-un's manipulative ways?

Randall Parks is perfect (and hilarious and scary) as Kim Jong-un, and Diana Bang is pretty good as Sook; the head of propaganda for North Korea. Lizzy Caplan has little screen time as agent Lacey, who works for the CIA and is the one who seduces both Skylark and Rapaport to the job. Caplan is super hot, and quite funny, making her few scenes stand out. All that said, this is really the Franco/Rogen show. They make for quite the dynamic duo here, most of their scenes are pretty hilarious (especially when they share the screen), and the film reminded me of why they are two of the funniest men in America. Franco plays the bumbling, ego-crazed moron exceptionally well and Rogen does fine work as the straight man of the group.

So, is The Interview funny? Yes, it is hilarious for most of the run time but that is only one of the reasons why it is great. The other reason would be that The Interview comes with some pretty interesting subtext. For the first act of the film, when we are safe inside the USA, the film takes a fairly harsh (but comedic) look at entertainment news. Rogen's Aaron Rapaport feels like he isn't making a difference in America, and would like Skylark to try his hand at more serious stuff (which naturally comes when Skylark is offered the interviewing chance of a lifetime).

During the second half, when Franco and Rogen are entrenched deep inside North Korea, the film satirizes Kim Jong-un. The Interview takes every chance to mercilessly mock Kim, painting him to be a power hungry mad man who lives the life of a spoiled rich kid while actually being an insecure daddy's boy who only wanted his father's approval. It's not hard to see why Kim Jong-un would so harshly oppose this film. The Interview does not paint a rose colored portrait of the dictator, and quite likely The Interview is pretty accurate with it's portrayal of him.  I commend Rogen, Franco, Evan Goldberg (The film's director), and Dan Sterling (the films screenwriter) for taking on such a ballsy project and not backing down or blushing when push came to shove. The Interview is a film that hates Kim Jong-un, dictators, and totalitarian states with a passion and it does not back down from it's attack and satirization of these things (and person).

It's refreshing to see a film that can effectively tackle some pretty serious issues while still being a wacky, crazy, silly comedy. The Interview does exactly this. It's not just a funny film, it is also surprisingly smart.  I'd say it  is certainly worth a watch.

4 STARS

SONY CANCELS 'THE INTERVIEW'S' THEATRICAL RELEASE

Originally due for release this Christmas, The Interview was the latest film from the people who gave us This Is The End. The Interview was to star James Franco as a wacky talk show host who is hired by the US Government to travel to North Korea to interview and assassinate that country's feared dictator Kim Jong-un. He is accompanied by Seth Rogen who plays his producer/friend. The film looked like silly fun, but North Korea and Un were not pleased, releasing a statement that if Sony did not pull the film from their release state that they would consider it an act of war and would retaliate with whatever force they deemed necessary.

Naturally, everyone in the U.S. laughed at North Korea's reaction at first. A few months later, the laughing stopped when Sony experienced a crippling cyber attack that wiped out their computer system, leaked private company info, and even leaked four upcoming Sony films including Fury and Annie. As U.S. officials scrambled to investigate who was responsible, it wasn't much longer until the hacker group issued a terrorist threat. It read: "Remember the 11th of September 2001. We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time (If your house is nearby, you'd better leave)." That's right, the hacker group threatened a series of terrorist attacks on the theaters showing The Interview. While the Department of Homeland Security announced that there was no credible intelligence suggesting that there was an active plot against movie theaters, that didn't stop AMC, Regal, Carmike, and BowTie Cinemas from pulling the film from their theaters nationwide. It didn't take long until Sony made a disturbing announcement: "In light of the decision by the majority of our exhibitors not to show the film The Interview, we have decided not to move forward with the planned December 25th theatrical release." 

There were rumors that Sony was considering a premium VOD release on Christmas Day instead, but that rumor was quickly axed by a studio spokesperson who said: "Sony Pictures has no further release plans for the film." This would not only include VOD, but also DVD/Blu-Ray. Now, this doesn't mean we won't ever see The Interview, just that it may be quite some time until we finally do. A few short hours after Sony made the announcement, US officials found North Korea to blame for the Sony hacks and terrorist threats. So the whole debacle comes full circle.

This is a very sad day for American cinema. Censorship and terrorism wins, free expression and Hollywood loses. I thought I lived in a country that wouldn't negotiate or comply with terrorist/terrorist demands. It was quite likely that the threats made were idle ones and that if the film was released as planned nothing major would have happened. In all likelihood, this was just stupid North Korea throwing a hissy fit. I don't blame Sony for pulling the film from theaters, and respect that they placed the safety of American moviegoers above everything else. However, by caving in it sends a dangerous message to terrorists and opposing countries: The US can indeed be threatened and swayed by acts or threats of terrorism. To me, that's the scariest thing of all. It it quite likely that we may see more of these types of threats in the future due to Sony's reaction. Also, I can't help but feel terrible for Seth Rogen, James Franco, and everyone else who worked on this film who worked long and hard and not only won't make any money back for their hard work, but also won't even be able to sit in a theater and watched the finished product. How sad.

It's not certain how the US will react to North Korea's threats, but I feel they MUST be addressed. We MUST take a stand and make it known that this type of nonsense WILL NOT BE TOLERATED EVER. We have got to retaliate in some way, and while it will be hard to effectively punish North Korea (we already have put that country under some pretty heavy economic sanctions), I feel that we must confront that country head on in SOME way even if it's just a threat from US officials. Maybe a proper punishment would be to completely wipe out that country's computer grid, though that would be a pretty tough task and would no doubt take a while to accomplish.

I, as an American citizen and a firm lover of Hollywood and film, am very saddened by this day's events. The Interview looked like a silly, fun film but because North Korea couldn't take a fucking joke (the film wasn't suggesting an assassination of Kim Jong-un, in fact a good portion of the film would have seemed to concentrate on a budding bro-mance between Un and Franco) we have lost out on what could have been the funniest film of 2014. I know I was looking forward to it. Sony's reaction is upsetting but understandable, and once again I don't blame them for reacting the way they did (though, as I said before this is setting a dangerous precedent and sends an even more dangerous message to would be terrorists and opposing countries). I do, however, place full blame on North Korea for being such stupid fucking bastards. Seriously, FUCK YOU GUYS!

I'll leave you all with how some notable names have reacted to Sony's decision:

Aaron Sorkin: "Today The U.S. succumbed to an unprecedented attack on our most cherished, bedrock principle of free speech by a group of North Korean terrorists who threatened to kill moviegoers in order to stop the release of a movie. The wishes of the terrorists were fulfilled in part by easily distracted members of the American press who chose gossip and schadenfruede-fueled reporting over a story with immeasurable consequences for the public-a story that was developing right in front of their eyes.  My deepest sympathies go out to Sony pictures, Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and everyone who worked on The Interview."

Steve Carrell: Sad day for creative expression. #feareatsthesoul

Rob Lowe: Saw @Sethrogen today at JFK. Both of us have never seen or heard of anything like this. Hollywood has done Neville Chamberlain proud today.

Patton Oswalt: All joking aside, we just gave a comfy foothold to censorship & it doesn't get any better from this point on. #TheInterview

Vision Implementer: All of a sudden the comedy is far from a laughing matter #SonyHack

Bill Maher: #TheInterview Is that it takes- an anonymous threat and the numbers 911- to throw free expression under the bus? #PussyNation

Judd Apatow: I think it is disgraceful that these theaters are not showing The Interview. Will they pull any movie that gets anonymous threats now?

Jimmy Kimmell: @JuddApatow I agree wholeheartedly. An un-American act of cowardice that validates terrorist actions and sets a terrifying precedent.


Here are links to articles:

The Interview pulled: http://www.slashfilm.com/the-interview-pulled/

U.S. links North Korea to Sony Hacking: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/world/asia/us-links-north-korea-to-sony-hacking.html?_r=0

North Korea Wins?: http://www.eonline.com/news/607557/north-korea-wins-steve-carell-aaron-sorkin-jimmy-kimmel-and-more-slam-sony-for-pulling-the-interview-from-theaters?cmpid=sn-111021-facebook-na-eonline

MOVIES I LOVE: INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM

SPOILERS!!!!

Welcome back to Movies I Love, Today I take a fond loom back at one of my personal childhood favorites: Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom. So, how does it hold up? Honestly....surprisngly well.

In this prequel to the smash hit Raiders of The Lost Ark, Indy (Harrison Ford) finds himself stranded in India with sidekick Short Round (Johnathan Ke Quan) and nightclub singer Willie Scott (Kate Capshaw) after narrowly escaping one of his foes. He stumbles upon an impoverished village that has seen better days. The people of the village attribute their misfortune to a theft of a sacred stone that was once held there, a stone that is also believed to be one of the Sankara Stones (of which there are 5, it is believed that when all 5 are brought together the owner of them shall be given great power or some such nonsense). With the children of the village spirited away, Indy is tasked with a holy mission to travel to nearby Pankot Palace (an area believed to hold great evil within) to retrieve the stone and free the children. What Indy never could have foreseen is that his new adventure will put him through the ultimate crucible as he is tested like never before.

Harrison Ford is comfortably at home playing the roguish charmer Indiana Jones (He also is a great screamer). He is a bit rougher than usual as he threatens women, kills dozens of people, beats children (though in his defense he wasn't quite himself during that part), and seems to only be doing this mission for the "fortune and glory". It seemed to me that a good portion of this film is actually about how Jones becomes a better person. I personally like this rougher version of Indy, though I'm sure there will be a good amount of people that won't. Johnathan Ke Quan is actually pretty awesome as Short Round, Indy's kid side kick. I didn't find him nearly as annoying as I had remembered, in fact I think he adds a good deal to the film and was surprised that he could actually hold his own quite well. He's humorous, but also pretty cool and gets his fair share of action scenes (and even is counted on to save Indy and Willie at a few points). I also liked the relationship him and Indy share throughout the film, they are partners but also so much more than that.

Now, onto what I consider to be the weakest part of this film: Willie Scott. Indy, we need to have a serious talk about your taste in girlfriends. Kate Capshaw portrays Willie Scott, a performer/singer at a Shanghai nightclub. She is certainly very pretty, and is a very good screamer. I don't so much blame Capshaw as I do the writers (though it does seem she hasn't been in much else of note). Willie Scott is one of THE WORST female leads in film history. She never contributes anything to this film (ok, she does save Indy and Short Round at one point....still doesn't redeem the character though). All she does moan, whine, cry, scream, run, and wait for Indy to save her (interesting enough one of the only times she does not scream is when she is being lowered to her doom into a fiery lava pit....what up with that?). I had had enough of her by the time the end credits rolled. This film would have been a ton better without Willie in it.  How in the world did this beloved franchise go from making strong female leads in the first film to THIS just one film later (True, this film had a different team of writers which could explain this and the vastly different tone found here)?! I'd say unacceptable.

The tone found in Temple of Doom is quite different than what was found in Raiders. Temple of Doom is a dark, intense, brutal film that is offset by odd moments of silliness that don't really gel with the rest of the film. We have Indy becoming temporally hypnotized into being a bad guy, Indy and Short Round are whipped (that's right a child is whipped here, actually several children are whipped in this film), a man has his heart ripped out of his chest and then is lowered into a fiery lava pit where he is set ablaze and burns to death, a man is crushed by machinery (kind of like Judge Doom in Roger Rabbit), people are machine gunned to death, Indy is poisoned, Indy and Short Round are nearly impaled by spikes, a man is speared by a flaming shis kabob, and on and on and on. I'm well aware that this is one of the issues that a good deal of people have with this film. They think that an Indiana Jones film should not be so dark (and I do feel quite bad for the kids that watched this in theaters, no way they could have expected this). That said, I personally LOVE this more adult tone here. I like seeing our heroes in great peril, and watching them have to fight to survive. To me it seems real because of course Indy would find himself in these kinds of situations a good deal. This is one of the big films that helped to create the PG-13 rating, and it's not hard at all to see why.

Now, Temple of Doom is a prequel and this both adds and detracts from the overall film. On the plus side we know that Willies really is nothing more than a short fling (Raiders proves this fact since she is seen nowhere in the film and is not even referred to), naturally this makes me quite happy. On the negatives though, we never get an explanation as to what happened to Short Round. The bond Indy and him share is a fairly strong one, and I really liked the character. By making this a prequel, we lose this fun character. Oh well, at least he got this film. Another negative is that by the end of this film Indy seems to have a newfound belief in religion...a belief that disappears completely in the first film. So.....what happened? Did Indy look back on this adventure later and decide that it was all just hocus locus and that he had been momentarily fooled as well? Either way, it's disappointing that we lose this cool bit of character development. It's also interesting that Indy has a very small speech at the end where he kind of disses museums. This is interesting because his whole thing in Raiders is "IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM" (It can be argued that the reason he feels this way in Raiders is because a museum is one of the only places where the ark could be reasonable safe).   I'm well aware that Raiders was intended to be its own thing, the filmmakers didn't make it with a sequel or prequel in mind. While I'm able to overlook my small quips with it being a prequel, it can not be denied that the film does indeed lose a small bit by going this route (or maybe by not planning Temple out so that the developments we have at the end of this one would make sense with what we see at the beginning of Raiders).

Truly Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom is a film where anything goes (the film even tells us this in it's opening MUSICAL DANCE NUMBER IN CHINESE, that itself breaks reality by dancing onto a large stage that in no way could exist in the nightclub). I'm well aware of why some people really do not care for this film (in fact, there are those that insist that Temple of Doom is a worse film than Crystal Skull....Crazy, I know) and their complaints are valid ones. However, despite my own issues with the film I still love it like crazy and count it as my personal favorite Indiana Jones film. It's refreshing to see an Indiana Jones film that is so ballsy and different. Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom is a highly entertaining 80's roller-coaster ride, faults and all.

5 STARS- BETTER THAN SEX

INTERSTELLAR IS A LONG, TALKATIVE EXPLORATION OF DEEP SPACE

Interstellar is the newest film from Christopher Nolan, and it's one of the most highly talked about and anticipated movies of 2014. So, how did it fare?

In Interstellar, The Earth has slowly degraded into an arid, barren dustbowl where the only remaining crop is corn (and even that is starting to die off). The Nitrogen levels are also starting to rise, so the people that don't starve will be the first to suffocate. Desperate to save mankind, NASA sends a group of scientists and good ole boy Matthew McConaughey through a wormhole and into another galaxy in search of a planet that could hold life. "Mankind was born on Earth, it was never intended to die here".

The cast here is surprisingly strong. Interstellar is essentially a one man show , but there are other recognizable names in smaller roles as well. Mackenzie Foy is a real treat as Murph, the intelligent and loving daughter of McConaughey's Cooper. The scenes she shares with McConaughey feel real and are pretty heartfelt and emotional. It's really cool to see these two play off of each other, and support each other through their performances.  I really bought them as father/daughter, and their relationship is one of the defining points of this film. I'd say Foy is easily one of the best parts of this movie.

McConaughey puts on another powerhouse performance (The McConaissence continues). He is the main focus for most of this film, and we spend pretty much all of the film with his character. If McConaughey did not deliver, this film would have flopped. Luckily, he brings the goods here. I'd say this is one of his best performances, and his more emotional scenes are quite affecting.

Anne Hathaway is pretty good as Amelia, one of Cooper's flight mates. Hathaway performs her role quite well, but isn't as memorable as others. Michael Caine is also pretty good as Professor Brand, the NASA scientist who recruits Cooper. He's your typical Michael Caine character, and I really liked him. He is at his Michael Caine-iest here, and he actually is pretty memorable (plus, some of the more memorable dialogue belongs to him). Jessica Chastain portrays one of the more important characters and is pretty great. In an attempt to avoid spoilers (no matter how minor) I'm not going to say who she plays but I will say that I really enjoyed seeing her in the film, and that she performs nicely in her role. Bill Irwin is pretty perfect as the voice of TARS, a unique, blocky robot that is programmed with the personality of a U.S Marine. TARS is actually given a good deal to do here (he's a fairly big, important role), and not only is surprisingly likable...he also makes quite the impression and is another memorable character in the film. There are tons of surprise appearances here from well known names, and part of the fun of this film is seeing who pops up. It's almost like a really good game of Guess Who.


The visuals in Interstellar are gorgeous. This is a film that takes place in the vastness of space and we get to explore a wormhole, a blackhole, and several new planets. Even the parts on Earth are pretty despite the general bleakness of it all (Dust everywhere). While watching the film, it really does feel like you are in a different galaxy and that you are exploring new planets. I for one would like to know what areas they shot at for the new planets because the places they used are haunting and gorgeous in their solitude and vastness. Interstellar has one of the largest scopes I've seen in a film, it expands far beyond our galaxy and into unknown areas. It's actually quite thrilling to travel with the filmmakers to these new and unexplored locations.


If you walked in to Interstellar expecting action of any kind, you walked into the wrong film. There are barely any action scenes here at all.  This is a thinking man's science fiction film and so most of the run time is spent exploring, and watching characters discuss new philosophies, sciences, and theories. There are some big ideas here, and this seems like a film that wants to expand your mind a bit. Most of the science seems sound, except for what the film thinks is the answer to Earth's problems (It's a big idea, but one that kind of seems silly when you stop and really think about what they are saying), and while one of the key scenes near the ending is a bit confusing, I still got the gist of what was going on (You'll know what I'm talking about when you see it).


Interstellar is a slow, deliberately paced film that takes it's time-sweet-time getting to its final destination. It runs at around 2 hours and 49 minutes long, but it feels like 4 hours. When you walk in to see this film, you are making a commitment. I will say that the first two acts had me completely enthralled, but I felt that Interstellar started to run out of steam near the end. I could see how quite a few people would perceive this film as being boring. Once again, not much action really occurs (lots of exploring and talking), and the film definitely drags a good deal but that's kind of the deal with these types of artsy, intelligent, hard sci-fi films. Either you like this kind of thing, or you don't.

Intestellar is a film that deserves to be seen in a theater (preferably one with IMAX, if I do see it again it will be in IMAX. Felt like I missed out seeing it on a regular screen). Interstellar is definitely not without its flaws, but I still would say that this is my personal favorite Nolan film I've seen. It's one of the most ambitious films I've seen and it's scope is downright epic (spanning galaxies). I know that by the time I left the theater, I felt like I had made the journey with Cooper and crew. The cast is a strong one, McConaughey anchors the proceedings (he carries this film on his back), it's ideas and science is interesting, and its visuals are stunning.It's a film that wants you to think about the ideas it's discussing.  Interstellar did struggle to keep my attention at points, but I'm glad I stuck with it because the end product may be slow and intellectual but is still definitely rewarding. Nolan is clearly a fan of 2001: A Space Odyssey, and his Interstellar is easily the 2001: A Space Odyssey for a new generation.

4 STARS

FIGHT FEST REVIEW: THE UNIVERSAL MONSTERS

This is a review I have been wanting to do for several years now. The Universal monsters mean a lot to me and to film in general. They helped to shape the horror genre and to make Universal the classic studio it is today. As you will see, these films all have things in common: strong performances, timeless characters, rich atmospheres, and memorable scripts. Tonight, I won't just review these films, I will rank them. So, let's get this rotting corpse a rollin.


Creature From The Black Lagoon: The weakest of the Universal Monster films, but it's still an entertaining outing. It's very campy, silly, and filled with "science" (yeah, it's not science). I thought the best part of this film was the Gill-Man, who's got an interesting costume and personality. The human actors aren't too memorable, but Julie Adams is mighty pretty. In all, it's memorable because it's a fun time. That said, Maybe not the best choice to watch around October, some of the film is shot at Silver Springs (which I've actually visited WOOT!) and while it is a beautiful location I just didn't get the Halloween vibe from it.

Rating: 3.5 STARS

Rank: #6


Bride of Frankenstein: Not the best Universal Monster film. Karloff returns and still impresses as The Monster. In this sequel, he is softened a bit. The Monster is more likable, and he talks here uttering a few classic lines like "We belong dead". Colin Clive also returns as Henry Frankenstein, and gets a significantly reduced amount of screen time. This sequel makes obvious some of the themes in Frankenstein, and I'd count that as a bit of a weak point. Other weak points include a distinct attempt at comedy, but these parts come on way too strong, are over the top, and when are present almost drown out every other aspect of the film (the worst sinner when it comes to this is Una O'Connor who is just over-the-top and grating). One of the more curious aspects of this film is that, for some strange reason, Lovecraft's Dr. Pretorius is the main villain here. It doesn't make much sense why (or how) he is even here, but I do appreciate it as sort of a loving nod to another classic literary author and character. While there are a few classic scenes and lines, overall Bride of Frankenstein is still a fairly uneven but enjoyable outing. I wouldn't say it's iconic, or even great but it is good and fun.

Rating: 3.5 STARS

Rank: #5


The Mummy: The film is notable for it's fantastic atmosphere and sets (I LOVE that the majority of the film takes place inside an Egyptian museum complete with coffins and such, so cool). Karloff makes Imhotep an imposing but majestic figure, and Zita Johann as Helen is a beauty with her large eyes. David Manners is kind of bland as the "hero" of the film, and Edward Van Sloan is a likeable Van Helsing-esque expert (and indeed, Sloan portrayed Van Helsing in Dracula) who has made it his mission to stop Imhotep at all costs. The story of Ancient Egyptian Gods, eternal love, resurrection, betrayal, and madness is also pretty fascinating at points. The film starts out really great, but gets sillier as it progresses onwards. It's worth a view for Karloff, Johann and the fantastic sets and atmosphere...it really does feel like you are in Ancient Egypt in some points. The Mummy is still one of the best Universal Horror films out there. I would highly recommend it.

Rating: 4 STARS

Rank: #4


The Wolf Man: The definitive werewolf film. There are several really strong performances here. Evelyn Ankers makes for a fine romantic interest as Gwen. She is mighty pretty, and her character is a strong and interesting one. Claude Rains is great as Sir John Talbot. He is a firm skeptic, and while he may seem a bit cold he still cares very much about his son Lawrence. I really liked his character. Naturally, we can't talk about The Wolf Man without talking about Lon Chaney Jr, son of "The Man Of A Million Faces" Lon Chaney. Here, he plays Lawrence Talbot who is the unfortunate protagonist of our tale. He puts on a multi-layered performance as a very good man who, try as he might, cannot prevent himself from doing very bad things when the wolfsbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright (that's right, originally wolfsbane, a plant, played a large role in the myth of the werewolf). Lon Chaney Jr's Lawrence Talbot is very likable and sympathetic, and when he turns it's almost like a different actor is playing him. He disappears into the role of both Lawrence and The Wolf Man, it's kind of incredible. The atmosphere here is also rich and moody. Fog often overwhelms the camera (in a good way), and the woods is a haunting, memorable location. The Wolf Man is one of the great screen tragedies, and the material here is actually fairly powerful stuff. I couldn't help but be a bit moved by the iconic finale. The Wolf Man would go on to define the werewolf genre, influencing many other films that would come after (like An American Werewolf In London, that pays homage to this classic and even name checks it a few times). There's no doubt about it, The Wolf Man earns its status as an iconic horror film.

Rating: 5 STARS

Rank: #3



Dracula: This is it guys, the one that started it all: The first ever Universal Monster film. Universal took the source material and managed to craft a film that is completely their own. Bella Lugosi is the stuff of legends as the titular Dracula. He puts on a natural, powerful, and fascinating performance as the titular count. It's no wonder his portrayal has become as iconic and widely revered as it is. Edward Von Sloan is the perfect foil to the evil count as the pure force of good Van Helsing, whose sole mission is to put a stop to Dracula and his madness once and for all. Sloan puts on yet another iconic performance in the film. Dwight Frye is unforgettable and chilling as Renfield, the insane, (somewhat) loyal servant to Dracula. His portrayal is easily iconic (there's that word again), and he created what is essentially the "Igor" character. Helen Chandler is also pretty memorable as Mina, who is very pretty and has some nice eyes on her (that she knows how to use). The sets and atmosphere are rich, elaborate and superb. We get a foggy London, and a creepy Carfax Abbey, but by far the standout here is that of Castle Dracula, which is gorgeous, haunting, and foreboding. The script is also pretty strong, and filled with many memorable, classic lines. I was surprised by just how strong of a film Dracula remains today, even when it gets a little bit silly at times, you still completely buy into this world and it's hard not to get immersed into it. Dracula is a fun, very creepy, and all around great gothic horror/romance. I'd say it kind of crawls under your skin. It goes without saying that Dracula is an important film in horror history, and it still remains one of the all time best Universal monster films.

Rating: 5 STARS

Rank: #2



Frankenstein: THE Iconic Universal Monster film. Colin Clive is chilling as Dr. Henry Frankenstein, an unhinged scientist who is obsessed with finding the secret to life. He succeeds, but the results of his mad experiment leave him guilt ridden and restless. Clive is perfect in the role, and his portrayal is one of the iconic mad scientists of film. He makes the character fascinating, creepy, but sympathetic, sad and tragic. Dwight Frye is also perfect as Fritz, the original "Igor" role. He literally originated the Igor role as he portrayed both Renfield and Fritz, characters that embody many of the tropes that we have come to associate with the Igor character. Easily the best part about this film is Boris Karloff as The Monster. Here, he is the stuff legends are made of and he puts on a performance that will continue to be talked about forever. Karloff pours every inch of his soul into the tortured monster, who does not understand what he is, and is unable to control himself. Karloff can go from a state of childlike wonder and innocence and in the very next second fly into a fit of homicidal rage, his range here is truly impressive. He is the ultimate misunderstood monster of the silver screen, and his portrayal will live on for ages. He is what makes Frankenstein the memorable horror-tragedy it is today, and his Monster is endlessly watchable. The sets are fairly elaborate (especially Frankenstein's lab), and the workings of the plot may seem simple, but are actually pretty complex. There is a lot going on here, and the film is filled with many different themes that are fun to chew on and think about. Filled with rich, complex characters, elaborate sets, a strong and memorable script, and superb acting, Frankenstein earns its iconic, timeless status and it remains a film that can be watched countless times thanks to its performances, characters, and themes. I'd say it's the best (and my personal favorite) Universal monster film.

Rating: 5 STARS

Rank: #1


And just like that, the book closes on yet another Fright Fest. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but take comfort in the knowledge that the children of the night are always there, just out of sight, waiting in the darkness. I hope you all enjoyed my Fright Fest, and till next time: HAPPY HAUNTING!

NIGHTCRAWLER

In Nightcrawler, we follow low life Louis Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal). He is a restless figure who wants to step it up a bit, and so sets his sights on becoming the best nightcrawler there is( For those not in the know, a nightcrawler is a person who roams the streets at night, scanning police radios so they can arrive at crime scenes before anyone else and thusly catch some hopefully great footage that they can then sell to news stations). Along the way he has has to deal with rivals (Bill Paxton), a poorly motivated employee (Riz Ahmed), and a head of a news station (Rene Russo).

Jake Gyllenhaal shines as the greasy, oily, slick, and smart Louis. This is unlike any other role we have seen him tackle so far, and he does so with an energy and enthusiasm that is thrilling. It is uncomfortable to watch him here, I felt like I didn't want to even touch the guy but I couldn't keep my eyes off him. Gyllenhaal's Louis is a POS who will do anything to get ahead of the game, and he seems to be an expert liar and manipulator. There seems to be something off about him as well, like he may have some form of Aspergers....or maybe he "just doesn't like people", as he quips in a scene. Either way, it is a thrill to follow this character down into some extremely dark depths and get to watch just how deep and far he will go to get on top (and the deeper he goes, the higher up the rungs of the ladder he climbs). I'd say this is easily Gyllenhaal's best role to date, he plays against type and clearly relishes the chance to do so. I'm hoping he gets a nomination for his performance here, he deserves it. I'm going to say that this is my favorite performance of the year thus far.

The supporting cast is pretty strong as well. Riz Ahmed is entertaining and likable as Rick, an impoverished man who Louis hires as his assistant. Riz gets to play not only a sane voice, but almost acts as an audience stand in at times. Rene Russo is pretty great as Nina, the head of a news outlet that Louis is working with. Like Louis, she doesn't have many morals and encourages him throughout the film. Bill Paxton also makes an appearance as Joe Loder, a seedy rival of Louis'. Like always, Paxton makes something out of what is essentially nothing, crafting a character that is fun to spend a few minutes with here or there (plus, I found it entertaining to hear Paxton use the term 'brah"repeatedly).

The cinematography in Nightcrawler is absolutely gorgeous (props to Robert Elswit, who was in charge of cinematography for the film). The film opens with various shots of a gorgeous Los Angeles at night, and while most of the film takes place in really dirty, seedy, "bad" areas Nightcrawler always looks shiny, polished and clean (I would compare the cinematography to Drive's). The script is also surprisingly superb and well written. Nightcrawler is directed by first timer Dan Gilroy (who also wrote the script for the film), but you honestly wouldn't be able to tell. The film is pretty well paced, and while it's running time is just three minutes shy of two hours, I was so caught up in the film that the time really flew by. There were no parts that dragged, except for maybe the last 5 minutes or so. Right when you start to feel how long this film is, it wraps everything up.

I honestly can't think of a single problem I had with Nightcrawler. It manages to be a behind the scenes portrait of how news rooms work, a fascinating character study of Gyllenhaal's Louis, and an enthralling trip down a dark rabbit hole.  It is an incredibly dark film, and I left the theater feeling dirty (like I needed a shower) but I still loved the hell out of it. Nightcrawler's dark subject matter and POS protagonist may be a turn off for some, but it did the trick for me! When all is said and done, Nightcrawler is a gorgeous, brilliant film that easily emerges as one of the top films of 2014. I'd say it's definitely a must see.

5 STARS

RIGHT FEST REVIEW: CANDYMAN

In Candyman, young Grad student Helen (Virginia Madsen) is doing a thesis on urban legends and in her research comes across the legend of the Candyman (Tony Todd), a murderous man with a hook for a hand who can be summoned by saying his name 5 times into a mirror. Intrigued, Helen decides to dig deeper and in doing so unwittingly summons the Candyman who immediately sets about wrecking her and her friend's lives.

Virginia Madsen (Yes, she is Michael Madsen's sister) makes for a strong female lead as Helen Lyle(that we also get some boobage from, giggitty). As far as top 90's horror heroine's go,  I'd place her several notches above Scream's Sidney.  She is a willful, intelligent,  independent woman that also makes quite a few mistakes and spends a good portion of the film being tempted by evil. I really dug her character, and found it super easy to root for her.  Tony Todd is a frightening yet fascinating villain (Who has a rich backstory to boot) who seems to have a penchant for fur coats. He isn't in it a whole lot, not making his grand appearance until the second half or so of the film. Todd and Mansen share a pretty super chemistry, and when both are in a scene together fun times are sure to be had.

Before viewing this, I thought Candyman looked like a typical 90's slasher. Now that I have seen it, I realize I couldn't have been more wrong. This is a film that always found some new way to surprise me, and it's not at all what I had thought it would be. For a horror film, we don't get too many deaths (the ones we do get are freaking brutal though). In fact, most of the run time is spent with Helen as she investigates, it's not until the latter half that things really start to go BOOM!

Candyman has a Clive Barker-esque feel to it, which is  only appropriate considering it's based on one of his novels (and while he doesn't direct, I still think this is one of my favorite Clive Barker films). It's a film that asks a chilling question: What if each urban legend had some basis in fact? Candyman is pretty freaky, it has a dark tone and manages to be one of the more mature, adult horror films I've seen. I'd say imagine if Scream, Nightmare On Elm Street, and Hellraiser were to mix: The end product would be Candyman, one hell of a different horror-ific treat.

5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST REVIEW: JOHN CARPENTER'S IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS

I am a big fan of master director John Carpenter, and although he has lost his shine in more recent years (What ever you do, do not watch The Ward. Just trust me on this one) I still consider him one of  the all time best directors, and one of my personal favorites. I've reviewed The Thing, The Fog, and Halloween (what I call The Holy Trinity), and today I review another great horror film from John Carpenter. Today's special: In The Mouth of Madness.

In The Mouth of Madness follows insurance fraud investigator John Trent (Sam Neill), as he is hired  to find a popular and profitable Lovecraft-ian/Stephen king-esque horror author named Sutter Cane (Jurgen Prochnow) who has gone missing. As riots start to break out all over in advance of his newest novel (whose final draft has gone missing along with Cane. Also, apparently some avid Cane fans are starting to lose their minds), Trent goes searching for the mythical town of Hobbs End, which is featured heavily in Cane's novels and is believed to be completely fictional; however Trent believes he may have found a map to the area hidden in the paperback covers to Cane's novels. What Trent could never have predicted is that his search for Cane, Hobbs End, and the final draft will take him to the very edge of sanity and right into the mouth of madness itself.

Sam Neill has always been one of my favorite actors. I grew up watching him as Dr. Allen Grant in Jurassic Park, and in In The Mouth of Madness he puts on another one of his all time best performances as a man who is a staunch believer in reality and what happens when this belief is ultimately put to the test. I really liked that they made him a reasonable, sane (at first), and intelligent person. Most of his reactions and decisions  throughout the film make sense and seem like ones I would make if ever put in the same situation. His John Trent is likable and pretty easy to root for, and a large part of the fun of the film is watching the hell he is put through and the various effects his trials have on him. I'd put this performance right next to Dr. Allen Grant, maybe even a notch above that....it's honestly hard to say (I really do have a strong fondness for Grant).

Jurgen Prochnow is also pretty memorable as mysterious and creepy author Sutter Cane. I really dig the way they have him look in the film, and while he's not in much of it he definitely leaves a mark. Julie Carmen is pretty good as Linda Styles, a worker at the publishing house for Cane's novels and a Cane fan herself. Charlton Heston makes a brief appearance as Jackson Harglow, the head of the publishing company. Naturally, he makes his small role count and is actually kind of memorable here. Lastly, I've got to mention that Wilhelm Von Homburg (aka Vigo The Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2) shows up in a bit role here as well.

The town of Hobbs End is itself a fantastic creation. It looks absolutely perfect here, perfectly resembling a quaint, idyllic, small New England town (although Ontario Canada was used as the filming location. How ironic!). Of course, Hobbs End may not be as nice as it looks. Every small town has its fair share of demons, and Hobbs End may have more than expected.

In The Mouth of Madness was written by Michael De Luca, and while it's not the best script you can sample the film is filled with fascinating idea about authors, God, reality, and sanity/insanity. The horror here comes from these ideas. In The Mouth of Madness is almost an existential horror film, and when looked at as such I'd say this film could easily be called a success (I know people who also say it's the best Lovecraft film ever made. Although it isn't based on any Lovecraft stories, In The Mouth of Madness was clearly inspired a good deal by Lovecraft).

While In The Mouth of Madness doesn't really feel like a Carpenter film, this is still one of his best (in my opinion). The cast here is a solid one, the ideas and themes explored are pretty rich, the filming locations are beautiful, and the horror elements work surprisingly well. In The Mouth of Madness is considered by some to be the watermark for John Carpenter (apparently after this film is where he started to lose the touch, or so I've heard). I was pleasantly surprised how insane this film actually is (it continually ups the craziness until we reach that awesome final scene). It took me two viewings to finally come to my own conclusions as to what is going on here. In The Mouth of Madness is a great film, due in large part to the casting of Sam Neill and the hard work of John Carpenter. I found it to be an extremely enjoyable and fun ride. If this really is/was Carpenter's last great film, then I say he went out on a pretty sweet note.

4 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: V/H/S VIRAL

I used to count myself as a fan of the V/H/S franchise. I could understand why some didn't like the first and second films, but personally....I loved the hell out of them. When I heard that a third V/H/S film was being released I was pretty stoked. The first two films were great , so how hard would it be for the filmmakers to craft another worthwhile outing? Well....maybe lightning can strike the same place twice, but never three times in a row. Let's delve into the shorts and see what the latest installment of V/H/S has in store for us.

 The first segment we'll explore is entitled Vicious Circles, which acts as our overarching story.  In Vicious Circles a young man is dating a young woman. He seems to have an obsession with filming everything, much to the woman's chagrin. One night, he hears that a police chase of an ice cream van is going to be passing right by his house, so he rushes out to catch the whole thing on camera. Unfortunately, once the ice cream van passes his girlfriend vanishes, leaving him to give chase through the city after the ice cream van in an attempt to get some answers. Along the way he stumbles across gory videos which we get to watch. The main female in this short (Emilia Zoryan) is super pretty and attractive, we do get some nice shots of her ass in nice shorts or her cleavage in a tank top or bra....but, although she does tease at taking her top off, we never get to see the goods. Oh well.  This segment cuts to random phone vids just about constantly, switching to random people thru the city for a few minutes at a time. These are not the V/H/S segments, they are just random clips of other people's recordings which are forcibly shoved into this segment for no apparent reason. I suppose this was done in an attempt to give this short a larger sense of scale, but it never works and only confuses the viewer. There is no real plot here, and no real connectivity at all (the segment barely tries to connect our V/H/S shorts together). Vicious Circles is confusing, frustrating, the big reveal makes no real sense and the repercussions of the ending are not fleshed out at all. This is a weak, useless segment and it angers me. Most of my problems with V/H/S Viral are problems that I also have with Vicious Circles (but more on those later). It goes without saying that this is the weakest short in all three V/H/S films.  Rating: 1 Star

The first tape we watch is entitled Dante The Great. In it, a wanna-be magician named Dante finds a cloak used by Harry Houdini and discovers that it can actually produce real magic tricks. It isn't long before Dante is a star, hosting sold-out shows in large cities like Vegas. Unfortunately, the cloak comes with a cost. Most of this short is filmed faux-documentary style. This makes for sloppy, confusing, poorly edited storytelling. This short would have ranked a lot lower if it weren't for a big magic fight at the end. This part is super entertaining, very fun, and is easily where the heart of this short lies.  While the ending leaves most questions unanswered, the big magic fight makes this one worth sitting through.  Rating: 2.5 Stars

The 2nd tape we watch is entitled Parallel Monsters. In this spanish (Yupp, it's subtitled. It honestly didn't bother me.) short, a man creates a machine that opens a portal to an alternate universe. It just so happens that the alternate universe version of himself has created the same machine at the same exact time. Both versions of the man agree to swap places for 15 minutes so they can quickly explore the alternate universes. Needless to say, both universes are different from each other in vast ways. It doesn't take long for this short to bumble it's interesting premise with IN-YOUR-FACE, gimmicky horror. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and it wasn't fun or scary. This one was freaky and disturbing, but not in any real memorable ways. I'm gonna say this is forgettable stuff. Rating: 2 Stars


The third tape we watch is entitled Bonestorm. This short has a simple premise: Skaters Vs. The Dead. In this one, a small group of skaters are trying to make a video of them doing some sick tricks, but they keep getting kicked out of areas they are filming in. Fed up with it all, the group decides to head to a small ditch....IN FREAKING TIJUANA (Most random decision ever. Was this group in Mexico to start with? I'm not really sure, but I suppose it's possible.)! Once there, they find the ditch adorned with ritualistic markings, and it isn't long before the group attracts the attention of freaky cultists.  There's not much plot here, and it's not scary at all but the kids are likable, they seem real, and the action is good. I actually had fun and enjoyed myself here. I don't understand the ending, but this short was the only one in V/H/S Viral to come closest to giving me what I was looking for: a good time. It also helped that this short reminded me of the shorts found in the first V/H/S.
Rating: 2.5 STARS


V/H/S and V/H/S 2 didn't seem bothered by nudity at all, whereas V/H/S Viral is perfectly fine teasing audiences but freezes in terror at the thought of showing one single breast (Oh wait, I forgot, V/H/S Viral happily shows us a full frontal of a granny. Doesn't that make you feel a bit better? Yeah, me neither). While this isn't a major problem, it does show how the attitude of the V/H/S films have changed. The first two V/H/S films prided themselves on their edgy, dark, intense, grungy style of filmmaking. V/H/S and V/H/S 2 wanted to try to push the envelope, and they both succeeded pretty well. V/H/S Viral however, seems to want to play it safe. It almost feels like the filmmakers have no new ideas, are out of inspiration and are unsure what to do this time around. V/H/S Viral is completely disappointing. It has a pathetically low number of shorts (four in total if you count the overarching story), and none of them are scary, thrilling, or all that exciting (plus the effects that are CGI are weak). I honestly think that the filmmakers should have waited until they had more material to work with, or some real inspiration or ideas. As it is, V/H/S Viral is dull, tepid and uninteresting. It lacks the thrill, excitement, and scares of the first two films. V/H/S Viral leaves me with some serious questions as to the quality of any further V/H/S films and the future of the V/H/S franchise. This was a fun and exciting experiment while it lasted, but maybe it's time to put the video camera away and give it a rest?

1.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS 24

Welcome back friends. This is Smalls,  your roving reporter coming to you from scare central: Halloween Horror Nights. I am so blessed to have been able to attend this year's event. Much hype has been made about this year's HHN. Some are going so far as to say it's the best year thus far....but is it? Let's not waste any time and delve right in starting with the scare zones.

SCARE ZONES

That's right, scare zones ARE BACK!! FINALLY! We only get four this year, but each are pretty cool. Let's see how they rank.

Face Off: In The Flesh

Wasn't all that impressed here. The coolest scare actor was a pirate that appears to be covered in barnacles and is rotting away. The theming is minimal, and while the main scare actors look impressive they are confined to a small stage. In other words: they don't do much scaring. Their "minions" are poorly themed, and aren't all that scary or impressive. It's not a must see.

Rating: 2/5

Rank: #4

Bayou of Blood

I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time in this zone, but I liked what I saw. The scare actors looked impressive and the theming was top notch. Here, we are transported to the swamps of New Orleans where a voodoo witch has her followers sacrificing guests so she can grow more powerful. It's a lengthy zone, and was home to a mini show where victims were sacrificed (the show was axed after guests complained it was too extreme). 

Rating: 3.5/5

Rank: #3

Maskerade Unstitched

There's a party going on, but there's something not quite right here. The zone had a large make-shift (and impressive chandelier hanging over it. The costumes were mucho impressive, and the scare actors seemed to be on their A game. The few times I traveled into this zone I walked out with a smile. They did a lot with only a little. Good job guys.

Rating: 3.5/5

Rank: #2

The Purge: Anarchy

This was the zone I was anticipating the most, and BOY did it not disappoint. Here, we enter the world of The Purge where one night a year all crime is made legal including murder. Guests become targets as the happy-go-lucky and intense purgers roam the streets in search of blood. The theming was fantastic, the zone was large, the costumes were on point (and super impressive), and the zone had A LOT going on including a few mini-shows (like an auction where guests are given a chance to bid on several "victim" scare actors they can unleash the beast on. My bid was accepted. Note: guests are not able to purge, this is all for show. It's still cool though), a truck that would drive around and pick up victim scare actors, a large blinking Purge sign, several Purge props (like crashed cars, etc) and apparently motorcycles (though these were absent on the night I attended). I spent most of the night in this zone getting chased numerous times by scare actors with chainsaws, taking pictures, interacting with scare actors, and just generally soaking in that rich Purge atmosphere. This is easily my personal favorite scare zone I have ever visited. 

Rating: 5/5

Rank: #1

HOUSES

Dracula Untold- Reign of Blood

The theming in this house was pretty nice, however it wasn't all that scary. I saw the film and wasn't crazy about it, so naturally I wasn't super psyched for the house. I didn't feel like I was sucked into the world of the film, and just want all that impressed in general. If you have to skip one house, make it this one. You won't be missing much.

Rating: 2/5

Rank: #8

Walking Dead: End of The Line

The largest house HHN has ever made. I've seen every Walking Dead house, and so I've kind of grown tired of it all. The facade was impressive (themed to the crumbling prison) and the detail inside was pretty great. There was a good deal of scares inside, and it did feel like I was traveling through the world of the fourth season.  In the house you get to explore the prison, the supermarket (can't remember the name), the collapsed tunnel, and finally Terminus. I was looking forward to getting to walk into Terminus and explore that setting but not much was done with it (amounting to maybe 2-4 scenes total). I wasn't as impressed as I  had hoped I'd be, but this is still a very nice house. 

Rating: 3.5/5

Rank: #6

Giggles and Gore

For such a short house, it was fairly impressive. I'm not scared much by clowns, but I still jumped a few times and the theming was fairly nice. The theme here is that we are traveling through the warehouse where evil clowns are made. It's a cool story idea, however I'm just not all that scared by clowns. The costumes inside were ok. It's a short house, but the jaunt through was enjoyable.

Rating: 3/5

Rank: #7

From Dusk Til Dawn

Based on the tv series, we get to explore The Titty Twister as the sexy stripper inside vamp out and go on a search for fresh blood. There were some good scares inside, and most of the costumes were pretty good. The facade is the exterior of The Titty Twister complete with a barker yelling about tits and sex, I really dug it. The final scene is also pretty great with the Gecko brothers killing vampires and the lead stripper vampire dancing on a stage, also pretty intense, cool and impressive. The middle of the house is where we get to explore the bowels of The Titty Twister with both stripper vampires and feral vampires attacking us and unlucky consumers. This house was pretty great, and I'd say it's well worth your time.

Rating: 4/5

Rank: #5

Dollhouse of The Damned

Here we get to enter a cursed house where those unfortunate enough to not escape are transformed into cursed dolls. There are a few laughs, but as we travel deeper inside things get more dark, intense and scary. There were a LOT of really great top notch scares here. Let's face it, dolls are creepy and while I wasn't expecting much out of this house I walked out super impressed with what they did with the fairly simple premise.  The costumes were top notch and each tended to  vary quite a bit from each other from  baby dolls in cribs, to a high chair doll that sucked its thumb when it wasn't lashing out at guests, to many many more. The final scene had two dolls attacking me from both side, naturally I freaked out. I'm not super scared by dolls, but I was scared quite a bit in this house and I really enjoyed the surprisingly great theming and the fact that the scare actors were on their A game. I'd actually say you should not miss this house.

Rating: 4/5

Rank: #4

Roanaoke Cannibal Colony

Based on one of history's really cool unsolved mysteries. Themed to the infamous colony that was left to fend for itself without food and goods for winter, we enter to find that the inhabitants have lost their minds and, desperate to survive, have resorted to cannibalism. The theming was very cool here, and it felt like I was traveling through the actual colony. The whole place smelled like fire, smoke, and roasting human meat. The actors inside are either tearing others apart or are lashing out at us, and as we travel deeper inside the pounding drums get louder and faster and the house gets more and more intense and crazed until puritans arrive to burn the whole unholy place to the ground. The costumes are simple but effective, but I really liked the backstory here. The house was fairly lengthy, and was easily one of my personal favorites of the night. I had a lot of fun inside, and would say DO NOT MISS IT.

Rating: 4.5/5

Rank: #3

Halloween

The theme here is we are traveling through scenes from the classic horror/suspense film. The facade is a beautiful recreation of the Meyers house, and we enter through the side. Once inside we find ourselves at the famous staircase where we then proceed to travel through the film from beginning to end. We get to see each death, and there are quite a few top notch scares including a room filled with numerous Michael Meyers some of which are props and some of which are real (you can bet I was cowering and screaming fuck this!) and a hallway where there appears to be a person dressed as Michael wearing a ghost costume but SURPRISE it's just a prop that Michael himself comes charging out of (I freaked out and ran for my life). This house wasn't quite American Werewolf in London from last year, but it was still a crap ton of super scary, intense fun and the detail inside was great (sone trick or treaters in the middle of the house are wearing Silver Shamrock masks from Halloween 3, such a cool touch). Michale came home, and we got the chance to travel there with him. I was a happy, happy camper.

Rating: 4.5/5

Rank: #2

AVP: Alien Vs. Predator

The backstory here is that we are worked for Weyland-Yutani sent to investigate a situation at one of their bases where research on those nasty Xenomorphs was being done. Naturally, things went south real quickly as Facehuggers latched onto faces, Aliens were born and Predators attacked the base to hunt the Aliens. Once inside we find ourselves trapped in the chaotic battle. Aliens are mainly out to attack us, but are also fending off Predators, Predators are there mainly to attack Aliens but aren't above killing off any human they run into, and the surviving humans are fending off Aliens while screaming things like MOVE MOVE MOVE, EAT IT, and GET SOME!!!! The house plays like an Alien house that just happens to have a few Predators inside, and it really feels like we have stepped into the world of Aliens. The detail inside is immersive and impressive, the Alien puppets were nice, and the Predator costumes were super impressive and richly detailed (Really loved them). I finally got to live the dream. The end scene wasn't great, but left quite an impression as we had to crouch down and boom it through a tunnel. I absolutely loved this house, an Alien house has been a passion project of the makers of HHN for quite some time now and this is the closest we are going to get. It's clear both the designers and scare actors were passionate about this house and the product is richly detailed, super scary, very intense, tons of fun, completely immersive, and just about perfect. I LOVED IT. DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT MISS THIS HOUSE!

Rating: 5/5

Rank: #1

Shows

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

These two most excellent dudes return to party once more at Universal's Halloween Horror Nights. The theme this year is that they have to go undercover as students pledging Zac Efron's frat where students are dying by the dozens. It's up to Bill and Ted to find out who is behind the deaths and stop them. This was easily the best of their shows I have ever seen. The opening number was absolutely fantastic, and easily the sexiest one I have seen (set to Paradise City by Guns N Roses, complete with girls dressed as cheerleaders and such that then stripped down to underwear and danced. The opening also included a mini-wet t-shirt contest. I was in absolute heaven). The show itself was pretty damned funny, taking constant jabs at Disney including Magic Bands ("seems like a waste of money to me" says Bill), Frozen, and Avatarland ("Opening in 2075, when no one gives a fuck"). They also make fun of the owner of the Clippers ("I'm just an old man"), Shia LeBouf, the main somali pirate from Captain Phillips, Justin Beiber, King Joeffrey, 22 jump Street, Neighbors, Orange Is The New Black, TMNT, April O'Neal (where Megan Fox plays with her breasts), and many many more. The closing dance sequence was pretty great as well. The whole show was high energy and tons of fun. Everything we would want from a Bill and Ted show, and maybe a bit more too. DEFINITELY DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW!

Rating: 5/5

So, there you have it, my review of Halloween Horror Nights 24. This event was definitely one of the better years I have attended. While I think the houses were more intense back in 2011, I think overall this could be considered the best year I've attended. It heralded the return of scare zones, copious amounts of fog both in houses and in the streets (you can bet I returned home smelling like fog and sweat, how I missed that smell), and the houses varied from meh to HOLY SHIT! I was quite impressed by this year, and if I could I would attend one more time. Let's hope I'm given the chance to travel to next year's event. Till next time, This is your roving reporter signing off from scare central. SCARE YA LATER!!!

Overal rating: 5/5

FRIGHT FEST REVIEW: SMALLS TAKES THE REMAKE OF CARRIE TO THE PROM

Carrie is the remake of the classic 1976 horror film. This time, our tale is set in the present day and updated a little bit. We follow young teen Carrie White (Chloe Grace Moretz), a painfully shy and socially awkward outsider who discovers she has telekinesis the day she has her first period. When you mix puberty, supernatural power, a drop of hope, and a whole lot of teen angst the result can't be good, as the whole school will find out when Carrie is asked to prom.

I've never counted myself as a fan of the original Carrie, so how exactly does this remake fare in my eyes?

The film is helmed by Kimberly Pierce (I believe I read that she's a feminist somewhere, not sure where), and she changes things up a bit. In this adaptation, the underlying subtext seems to be about not being ashamed of your body, and empowering yourself. I'd say this film definitely has some feminist messages in here, but they are handled pretty well and actually help to strengthen the material just a little bit.

Chloe Grace Moretz is pretty good as Carrie. In this adaptation, Carrie takes charge for a change (a pretty big shift from the original film). Carrie researches her new found power, and actively works at fine tuning it. Moretz has a natural beauty to her, which the film succeeds at covering up behind a facade of normalcy and awkward-ness. Moretz is (obviously) pretty good as Carrie, and her freak out at the prom is actually pretty well done (she seems in control of the carnage she wrecks, but at the same time it seems like something else has taken over momentarily....the darkest part of herself). I liked Moretz's Carrie, and while she is a sympathetic monster in the book, in this remake she is more-so portrayed as a normal teen female with a few issues. 

Julianne Moore is pretty good as Carrie's mom. Instead of being a complete nut, she is portrayed here as a person with a few psychological issues that prevent her from being a good mom. I will say that while Moore can be effectively disturbing here, the original's Piper Laurie did a better (and more memorable job) with the role.

Chris Hargensen and Billy Nolan's characters are portrayed by Portia Doubleday and Alex Russell respectively. They aren't in the film much, but their characters are given a new dynamic. Whereas in the original, Chris clearly wore the pants in the relationship in the remake both share about equal footing. I liked this since it made their relationship a bit more interesting. Luckily, Chris is still the under-handed conniving bitch we all love to hate but she is given some moments of weakness here that strengthen her character a bit. Billy is no longer a complete doof, he's actually pretty sinister and scary and is the one who orchestrates the prank at the prom (yes, it was Chris' idea but Billy is the one who decides to go through with it.)

Surprisingly, I felt that the strongest part of this film was Sue Snell and Tommy Ross, both of whom have significantly more beefed up characters and screen time. Sue (as portrayed by Gabriella Wilde), is one of the popular girls who picks on Carrie. However, after the shower incident something inside her snaps and she decides that she doesn't want to be this person anymore. Feeling guilty, she talks her totally awesome boyfriend Tommy (as portrayed by Ansel Elgort) into taking Carrie to the prom. A good deal of screen time is dedicated to exploring both Sue's and Tommy's characters, and I really dug this. For Sue, this is an attempt at a redemptive journey as she tries to make things right (willingly sacrificing her own chance at a magical night in order to do so, what a great gal). Another thing I really dug was that Tommy seemed way more sincere here. In the original, he seemed to be going along with the plan just for Sue, but in the remake he seems to be doing this because he genuinely likes Carrie. What's most interesting is that my previous experiences with these actors wasn't all that pleasant. Gabrielle Wilde was a blank, dumb slate in the just-plain-bad Endless Love, and Ansel Elgort was reduced to teen/tween dream boy material in the just-ok Fault In Our Stars. However, Gabriella Wilde seems to actually be acting here and whereas Elgort's chiming schtick felt false in Stars, it feels pretty real and genuine here. I guess it's time I give both these actors a second chance.

Judy Greer does an ok job as Ms. Desjardin,a gym teacher that is struggling with her conflicting emotions over Carrie and eventually becomes somewhat of a mentor to the poor girl. Barry Shabaka Henley was enjoyable as Principal Morton, the principal of the school who seems uncomfortable talking about Carrie's puberty issues and is enjoyable awkward when dealing with them. I honestly felt that Henley made more of an impression than Greer. I always enjoyed his scenes, and I found his character funny and likable. 

Now onto probably the film's only real weak point: the CGI. Almost every effects sequence involves heavy use of CGI, even when the effects could have been done practically instead. It doesn't help that the CGI is pretty bad here (it really pulled me out of the film). I also didn't like the scenes where Carrie was discovering her powers, I understand that it's all part of the message of the film, but the scenes felt kind of silly. Luckily, the prom scene is pretty well done (even if it does fall prey to that awful CGI). Moretz and Elgort completely anchor the scene, and I actually found myself FEELING in the parts before the prank is pulled. The carnage that ensues is pretty brutal, and I found the whole scene to be stronger than the one from the original (plus, Carrie does wreck some stuff outside of the school which is a clear nod to the carnage that ensues after prom in the novel).

I can't say that Carrie 2013 is a stronger film than the original. It does some things better than the original, but also slips and slides a bit too. I'll say that this and the original are of equal value (although I found that I enjoyed this version a bit more than the original). Carrie 2013 doesn't change much up from the original film, for the most part it stays the course (in fact, the modern day setting doesn't add all that much to the proceedings except a few cell phones, computers and hip modern songs). If you enjoyed the original, there's a good chance you'll enjoy this remake too. 

3 STARS

LET'S SOLVE A MYSTERY WITH GONE GIRL

In Gone Girl, Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) finds his life turned completely upside down when his wife Amy (Rosamund Pike) disappears, leaving behind signs of a struggle and evidence that seems to point towards murder . Naturally, the news and media almost immediately peg Nick as the culprit, poisoning his neighbors and even the world's view of him. Could a marriage on the rocks and harsh financial times drive a husband to murder, or is everything not as it seems?

Gone Girl is directed by David Fincher, and this is the kind of story and material that is right up his alley. Naturally, he doesn't disappoint. The whole film feels like a Fincher creation.  Aided by a pretty strong screenplay by Gillian Flynn (who also wrote the novel), it's no surprise that Fincher was able to craft another top notch film.

The cast here is just about perfect. Ben Affleck is a natural as Nick Dunne, he completely nails the smarmy charming guy everyone loves to hate. This is easily his best role in years. The chemistry he shares with Carrie Coon (who portrays his sister Margot "Go" Dunne) feels real. It's easy to buy the both of them as siblings, and Coon puts on a pretty top notch performance as well. I also really like the chemistry and dynamic between Affleck and Pike's characters. Tyler Perry is perfect as Tanner Bolt, the oily but charming lawyer brought in to defend Nick. This is without a doubt Perry's best role to date, and his work here proves that with the right director this guy can actually act.  Rosamund Pike is pretty great as Amy (some of her scenes were pretty impressive), doing pretty much everything she needed to in order to bring her character to proper life. Missi Pyle also makes a mark as Ellen Abbot, our Nancy Grace stand-in that is leading the charge against Nick. NPH is kind of wasted here, and Kim Dickens and Patrick Fugit as the detectives don't leave much of an impression (though it is clear that Kim Dickens is trying here, God bless her).

Gone Girl has a pretty dark, cynical heart and I love that about it. This is a film that openly laughs at the idea of marriage, and even questions the concept of it. I mean, how well can you really ever know your significant other (one of the key questions of this film)?  In a weird way, Gone Girl is an angry film: it's angry at the media and the media culture we live in (which it constantly comments on and critiques) and it's got some beef with marriage as well. While this is a dark film, it manages to have fun with it's twisty proceedings and is also quite funny a good deal of the time (lots of dark humor here).  It's inevitable that we're going to form our own opinions of who Nick and Amy are and what is going on, and part of the fun of this film is watching as the layers are ripped away until we are left with the truth (This is a film that will challenge your preconceived notions and make you feel like a fool for even assuming you know who these people are). The film is beautiful in a technical sense. Every shot is polished and clean, and the whole film has a  dreamy type vibe to it. The score by Trent Raznor and Atticus Ross is also exquisite and almost ever present, itself helping add to the dream-like feel of the film.

 I think it goes without saying that the novel is far better than the film. There's more detail in the novel, and I feel the twists and reveals hit harder there....that said, this is still a pretty damned great film version (that hews very closely to the novel). My only real complaint would be that they cut a lot of the first act of the novel out of the film, choosing to focus more on the second and third acts instead. They cut a good deal of the meat here, but the parts that remain are still more than satisfying enough.

Gone Girl is an expertly crafted film that boasts a strong cast (with the respective leads fitting their roles exceptionally well), a great director at the top of his game, a screenwriter who manages to adapt her source material pretty well, and a great editor and cinematographer (Kirk Baxter and Jeff Cronenweth respectively).  It's expertly paced, pretty dark, angry, and cynical, but also manages to have fun with it's proceedings while mixing a good deal of dark humor, wit, and commentary into the film (Yes, this film will make you think). The end product feels like a dreamy suburban nightmare, and it's completely refreshing and exciting.

5 STARS

THE CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT....THEY HUNGER

Do you feel that cold chill? Did you notice that the air has that special feeling now? Yes, your senses are correct: IT'S OCTOBER!!!! And you know what that means!!!!! Back by popular demand, I'm bringing back my FRIGHT FEST for yet another year! Now, I'm out of college and I have a job but that's not going to stop me from tearing into more beloved Halloween favorites. That's right, my thirst for only the best horror films has not decreased since I left college. LET THE FRIGHT FEST BEGIN!!!

A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES MARKS A RETURN TO FORM FOR LIAM NEESON

 A Walk Among The Tombstones takes place in 1999, back during the Y2K craze (which gives way to the films tagline: People are afraid of all the wrong things). In it, we follow Matt Scudder (Liam Neeson), a retired detective who now works as an independent PI. When he is contacted by a drug trafficker (Dan Stevens) and his brother Peter(Boyd Holbrook) to assist in finding the men who kidnapped, tortured, and killed his wife Scudder finds himself reluctantly entangled in a dark mystery. The men responsible are still out there, they've done this before and it's quite likely they plan on doing it again. With an inept police force patrolling the streets, it looks like it may be up to Scudder to bring the men to justice.

Contrary to popular belief, Tombstones is not an action film. Liam Neeson does not go around beating in baddies skulls, in fact, there is very little action to be found here at all. Believe it or not, I think the lack of action is actually one of the film's stronger points. This easily could have devolved into a violent shoot-em-up ala Taken but Tombstones stays its course. Instead, A Walk Among The Tombstones is classic detective noir all the way. It's quiet, dark, deliberate, and thrilling.

While Liam Neeson is by no means an action star here, he is still super bad-ass and is treated to some really superb scenes including a few where he gets to threaten unseen baddies over the phone (probably the only resemblance to Taken this film really has). This is without a doubt Liam Neeson's best role in recent memory. He's very nuanced and layered here, a real complex character that is fun to spend some quality time with (and we do spend lots of quality time with him, we really get to know what makes this guy tick).

There are also some great supporting performances here including Boyd Holbrook as junkie Peter, Dan Stevens as drug trafficker and grieving husband Kenny (Stevens is fantastic here, look for him next in The Guest), and Brian "Astro" Bradley as hoodlum TJ who forces himself onto Scudder as his partner (Astro manages to emerge as one of the standouts here. He's got a natural charisma to him and his character is super likable). One of the cool things about Tombstones is that almost every character is some kind of low life, and the film actually sympathizes with the drug dealers (a nice little twist). What also helps elevate the tension and suspense that the baddies here are genuinely evil, sinister people that are quite scary. The only characters in this film who are more-or-less clean are Scudder and TJ, and even then both have skeletons in their closets.

Tombstones takes it's time getting to it's climax, and there is a significant period where the film kind of drags a bit. Luckily, it's climax is pretty great and thrilling, and the way the film builds to it is expertly done. A Walk Among The Tombstones is easily one of the best films I've seen this year.  It shows off Liam Neeson at what is arguably the best we've seen him at in a while, it's got a fantastic, rich,  dark story, and it's slow and deliberate (almost thoughtful) pace helps up the tension and suspense. Simply put: A Walk Among The Tombstones is one great film.


4/5 STARS

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY: THE INCREDIBLE HULK COASTER

How often can you say a ride changed your life? Well, when I was younger I used to be terrified of roller coasters, and it wasn't until I was 20 that I finally overcame my fear of the things thanks to the roller coaster I will be talking about today.

There is little to no real plot to The Incredible Hulk Coaster, not like a roller coaster really needs a plot. For those who insist, the story of this ride runs something like this: Bruce Banner has recruited us to partake in a science experiment that, if all goes according to plan, could help him finally learn how to suppress the Hulk inside of him. The queue is sparsely themed to Bruce's lab, with tv monitors throughout that relay the story of Bruce Banner and The Hulk to those who (somehow) do not already know it. Let's face it: the plot doesn't seem all that well thought out. During the pre-show video Bruce doesn't seem to know how we gained access to his labs, mentions that he assumes we plan to attempt to recreate his experiment, and begs us to reconsider. Once we board our coaster car, it appears we are now part of a new experiment. It's all very scatter-shot, and ultimately the failings of the attempted plot really don't matter because the coaster itself is an absolute blast!

During the coaster riders are subjected to a zero G roll, a cobra roll, two vertical loops, a subterranean mist tunnel, and two corkscrews (that makes a total of seven inversions in case you weren't counting).  The ride lasts around 2 minutes 15 seconds. The initial lift hill is different than most you have experienced in that mid-lift the coaster suddenly launches your car from 9 to 40 mph in a span of around 2 seconds (the force of the thing will push you back into your seat), after which you are immediately thrown into a zero g roll and down a 105 foot drop.  You start the ride inside, and the lift hill launches you from indoors to outdoors. I would say some of the views are beautiful, but let's face it,  you'll be too busy screaming to pay attention to your surroundings. This ride is indeed one of the big boys. It's intense, it's loud (the coaster is built by B&M and has those coasters' signature roar, which is fitting since this is inspired by the Hulk). After I rode it for the first time, I realized that if I could handle this (and come off loving it) then I could handle most of the big coasters.

Like most rides that take place outdoors, I'm going to say this one is best ridden at night (it's dark, the wind in your face is cooler, and the whole track is illuminated green at night...it's very pretty). This is likely the best coaster on Universal property, it's probably the most intense as well thanks to that thrilling initial launch (where riders experience around 1 g. The total G Force of the ride is 4). The first 30 seconds of the ride or so are the best (or as I like to say, the front portion or first half), with the rest of the ride ( aka the back portion or second half) managing to be thrilling but a bit slower. Expect long lines most of the time, so if you are ok with splitting up, the single rider line may be worth checking out. If you haven't ridden it yet, I'd say this one is a must-do. Due to it's intensity (and yes, as i said before several times THIS RIDE IS INTENSE. It easily earns its status as one of the big boys), I'm going to say exercise caution when deciding if your little ones should ride it (Gonna lean towards no on that one, unless they love coasters). The Incredible Hulk Coaster not only gives riders a small taste of what it must feel like to be The Hulk, the experience itself is thankfully quite intense, thrilling, fun and incredible as well. 

8/ 10 STARS

FUN FACT: The amount of power needed to fuel that first launch would brown out the city of Orlando's power grid every time a coaster left the station, hence why a separate facility had to be built specifically for the ride.

TAKE A TOUR OF CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS WITH TERMINATOR 2: 3-D

Earlier this month, I promised reviews of popular Universal attractions to celebrate my upcoming Universal trip. Today, I deliver the first review: Terminator 2: 3-D.

Terminator 2: 3-D had it's grand opening on April 27, 1996 and has been entertaining Universal Studios guests ever since. If you had been keeping up with the films, last we left off The T-800, John Connor, and Sarah Connor had defeated the T-1000 and left Cyberdyne in ruins.  Several years later, Cyberdyne has risen from the rubble of that day to become a mega-corporation with heavy ties to the The U.S. military among other things.  We are V.I.Ps that have been invited to attend a special presentation of Cyberdyne's latest technological creations. Something they have lovingly named: The Terminators (the model is the T-70). Nothing could possibly go wrong, right?

The experience starts as soon as we step foot into Cyberdyne's lobby: a large, sprawling space the color of steel and chrome adorned with Cyberdyne posters, that includes an area where we can pick up our safety visors for the presentation (Really, their just 3D glasses). On the overhead TV monitors is a news broadcast produced by Cyberdyne itself, titled C.I.N (Cyberdyne Interactive Network), which keeps us updated on all things Cyberdyne including their latest products, achievements and etc. During breaks, we are treated to C.D.Y.N radio which plays clips from songs featured in Terminator 2. Once they are ready for us next door we are ushered into The Miles Bennett Dyson Memorial Auditorium (a spacious, futuristic looking pre-show room).  It is here where we meet the Cyberdyne Systems Director of  Community Relations and Media Control; Kimberly Duncan; who will be our hostess for the presentation. She is a very nasty, icy, controlling person....but she covers all this with a creepy facade of smiles and bubbly-ness. During the pre-show we are treated to a (dated, but still entertaining) commercial for Cyberdyne which is interrupted briefly by John and Sarah Connor who reveal their plans to crash the presentation in the hopes of stopping Cyberdyne once and for all. Undeterred, Ms. Duncan ushers us into a large theater where the action begins.

The theater is pretty large, able to seat 700 people. The seats are actually pretty comfortable for a theme park show. While the attraction's title says 3-D, the experience we are treated to here is so much more than that. We get several large animatronic robots (Terminators), in-theater effects (strobes, lasers, smells, fog, lights),  a 3-D movie, and live actors equipped with realistic looking and sounding guns (the actors often run into and out of the screen in one of the most impressive theme park effects I have ever seen. Even though I was able to figure out how this effect is created, it still manages to wow me every time I see it. The guns they use are pretty loud too). The total experience in the theater lasts around 12 minutes, but you will walk out feeling completely wowed and ready to go out and conquer the rest of your day.

Even though it's been 18 years since the attraction first opened, it honestly hasn't aged all that much (except for the pre-show vid, which features Shaq back when he was popular). Whenever anybody asks me what my favorite theme park 3D show is, without even having to think my answer is always Terminator 2: 3-D.  The theme is strong and consistent throughout the experience (It really does feel like you have entered Cyberdyne). The mix of live-action/actors, robots, 3-D, and in theater effects (the most impressive of which, in my opinion, is the final fog effect) all meld together to create a YOU-ARE-THERE experience that is pretty hard to shake off once the show ends. Naturally, I would highly recommend this to anyone visiting the parks (except maybe the wee ones, the entire experience is pretty intense). All in all, Terminator 2: 3D is a completely and wholly satisfying experience. As Kimberly Duncan would say: It's "Super"!

10/10

FUN FACT:  Helping with the authenticity of the overall experience was James Cameron (director and creator of Terminator 1 and 2), who directed the 3-D film we watch.

The entire experience cost USF 36 million dollars to make.

TERMINATOR 2 3-D: BATTLE ACROSS TIME AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS FLORIDA OFFICIALLY CLOSED ON OCT. 8 2017. RIP

BUG JUICE: NEW FROZEN RIDE TO REPLACE MAELSTROM

You may want to take a few steps back for this one folks, because I'm about to explode.

I am a Disney child, I was raised on Disney and would travel to the parks at least once a year during my childhood. I still count myself a fan of Disney, but that doesn't change the fact that I am most disappointed with their decisions as of late.

Disney used to be the big theme park in Florida, the ultimate family destination in the world. In the 90's they kept churning out hit attractions like Splash Mountain, Test Track, and The Extra-Terrorestrial Alien Encounter (an underrated classic that was ripped from this world way ahead of its time).  They even opened two brand new theme parks: Disney's MGM Studios (Now Disney's Hollywood Studios), and Disney's Animal Kingdom. Heck, the Disney Hotels like Disney All Star resorts and Port Orleans were top notch destinations as well. Yes, in the 90's life was good if you were a Disney kid. Now, let's fast forward to the present day where things have taken a surprising turn for the worse. With the sub-par re-do of Test Track (Let's get rid of that cool story, throw our guests into Tron, and while we're at it let's make everything BLUE.....cuz blue is a cool color, right?), the continuously malfunctioning Yeti on Expedition Everest (which was touted as the most advanced state of the art Audio-Animatronic at the time), The highly hyped New Fantasyland (which suffered from a slashed budget, and a new family roller-coaster that took around four years to build. In the lands defense, the area is indeed very visually pleasing). It seems that Disney's new motto is :The less we have to spend, the better.

As sad as it is to say, I can completely understand Disney's new brand of non-logic. Even with Universal continuing to pummel Disney into the ground with USO's new found quality, Disney hasn't even attempted to fight back. The reasoning would seem to be: "Why should we have to spend any money? We're Disney, people are always going to come back to us because we have the power of nostalgia on our sides." It saddens me that Disney seems more than content to sit on their laurels and laugh at us fans. It is true that currently Disney is working on creating an Avatarland (Avatar, a property that has already grown stale) in Animal Kingdom, and while the concept art looks amazing I can't help but feel that the land will suffer from the same slashed budget that New Fantasyland did (just look at Beast's castle's concept art compared to what we actually got...so disappointing. There is a reason that the restaurant inside went from taking place inside his castle, to instead just being inspired by the film).

Anyways, Disney seems very big to jump into big fads and milk them cows for all their worth. Disney's newest and fattest cow is a little film called Frozen. Originally, I had counted myself as one of the film's fans but now with how over-saturated it has become in our culture (the amount of times Let It Go has been played on the radio is just ridiculous), I have done a complete 180. I don't really care for the film anymore, just the mention of it makes me feel a bit queasy. Disney, naturally, has jumped on the Frozen bandwagon. They quickly introduced a Frozen character meet and greet (the wait times for Anna and Elsa would stay consistently at well over 300 minutes), then a Frozen Summer Fun at Hollywood Studios (consisting of an indoor Frozen play area, a sing-along show, and even a special fireworks show. The Frozen Summer Fun has now been extended through September 28), and now....Frozen: THE RIDE (formerly known as Maelstrom).

That's right, Disney has made the BOLD (and DUMB) decision to replace one of their classic attractions with a Frozen ride. Details about the ride are scarce, the press release states: "The new attraction, which replaces Maelstrom, will take guests to Arendelle and immerse them in many of their favorite moments and music from the film." From that brief description, many fans have speculated that the new Frozen ride will be nothing more than a quick (and permanent) overlay of Maelstrom, meaning that the ride's layout and track will be exactly the same, except the cool scenes inside will be replaced with lame scenes from Frozen. I'm not expecting much to be spent on the ride (especially since it's supposed to be open sometime early 2016). Along with this, Disney has also announced that it is adding Frozen characters into their Christmas festivities including Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party (where Elsa will ice over Cinderella's castle every night) and Mickey's Once Upon A Christmastime Parade.

EPCOT stands for Experimental Prototype Community Of Tomorrow. World Showcase was built to educate people about (and promote business for) other countries around the world including Mexico, Norway, Morocco, England, China, Germany, Italy, The US, Japan, France, and Canada. So, tell me: How exactly does a Frozen ride promote travel to Norway? The short and simple answer is: It doesn't. This is just Disney carelessly cashing in on the latest fad. Eventually Frozen's popularity will dim, and then we will be left with a lame ride where a cool ride used to stand. Maybe Disney will surprise everyone for a change and churn out a really cool, brand new experience for guests to enjoy.....but I can't help but be a bit skeptical. With the current state of things over at "The Happiest Place on Earth", can you really blame me?

Maelstrom's last day of operation will be October 5, 2014 so if you want to go say your goodbyes, the sooner the better.

Till then, consider yourself BUGGED!

SEPTEMBER IS THE MONTH OF ADVENTURE!

Now, what ever could that head line mean? Well, in a little over a month I will be making the trek back to Universal Studios Orlando and Islands of Adventure. By the time I arrive it will have been around ten months since I last stepped foot into the property. While that may not seem all that long, remember in college I would often travel there at least once a month, often much more than that. For me, it's been a while. To celebrate, Throughout the month of September I will be posting reviews of some of my favorite Universal and Islands of Adventure rides. So, buckle your seat belt and hang onto that lap bar, because my first review should be posted shortly. HUZZAH!

GOODBYE JURASSIC PARK: RICHARD ATTENBOROUGH PASSES AWAY

Sometimes you just can't get a break. Today, legendary actor and director Richard Attenborough passed away at the age of 90. He appeared in The Great Escape, Doctor Dolittle, Ten Little Indians, Miracle on 34th Street (as Santa Claus), and directed films such as Ghandi, A Bridge Too Far, A Chorus Line, and Chaplin. For myself though, he will always be John Hammond from Jurassic Park. He has always been one of my favorite parts of that film, and his performance was absolutely superb portraying a man that is obsessed with control but only has the best intentions at heart. His is a character that is filled with human faults but is still ultimately lovable (and pretty darned cool too). I can't say I've really seen any of his other films, but I'm aware of his rich history on the silver screen, both in front of the camera and behind it. It really sucks that we have to lose two Hollywood legends, one after the other. So, farewell Richard Attenborough and thanks for the memories.

R.I.P Richard Attenborough: August 29, 1923-August 24, 2014

BEST FILMS OF SUMMER 2014

Well, as sad as it is to say, Summer is once again officially over.  I had a good deal of fun, and to commemorate another summer ended here is my top films of summer 2014 list.

6. Transformers: Age of Extinction- Almost 3 hours of things going BOOM and giants robots fighting.  Can it get tiring? sure! However, this was still the event film of Summer 2014. This really was like Michael Bay dropping the mic and walking away. Michael Bay made his point, and now he can retire from the directors chair for the Transformers films (which he has). He's earned some down time.

5. 22 Jump Street- Every bit as funny, cool, and fun as the original.

4.  Purge: Anarchy- I walked in expecting this film to be crap. Imagine my surprise when it ended up being great, grind house fun.

3. Edge of Tomorrow- Tom Cruise's best film in quite a while. It is refreshing to see him play such a whimpering coward for the first act of the film, and it is always endless amounts of fun watching him die again and again and again. This is pretty meaty sci-fi with top notch action, not to mention the 3-D was surprisingly top notch.

2. Dawn of Apes- The film delivered everything I was expecting and more! Great action scenes, some of the best acting we've seen this year, a great story, and some great complex themes and messages, not to mention it actually made me think.

1. Guardians of The Galaxy- DUH! A film that understands sometimes all you need is some classic tunes, some good laughs, some amazing characters, and some cool action. This film had it all. Laughs, emotions, character development! I could go on for hours about my love  for this film, but I'll leave you with this: The film's main message is that dark, brooding evil will never ever win over good-hearted goofiness. The pure hearted weirdos of the world will always win in the end. That's a message I can get behind!