Hello, and welcome to another segment of Bug Juice!
For those not in the know, the new Fantastic Four reboot (or as the marketing is selling the film: Fant4stic) trailer has hit the web. I've had serious doubts about this film right from the get go, and while the new trailer does look interesting I still am not overly excited about this newest installment. For starters, I still feel that the characters are way too young. In Marvel comic lore, they are adults ranging from their 30's-50's but in the reboot they are considerably younger ranging in the mid-20's. However, that's not what disappoints me most about this reboot.
One of the defining aspects of the Fantastic Four is their nemesis, Dr. Victor Von Doom. Doom was an old colleague and friend of Dr. Reed Richards (aka Mr. Fantastic), who was horribly disfigured during the accident that gave the four their superpowers. Unlike Richards and his friends, Doom was not gifted with powers but was cursed with a mangled frame. Filled with rage, Doom used his superior intellect to become the supreme ruler of a small country called Latveria, as well as plotting various schemes to destroy Richards and crew. Defined by his flowing green cape and iron mask (which he uses to hide his disfigured face), Doom is my favorite Marvel villain....and the new reboot screws it up (Say what you will about the previous Fantastic Four films, but at least they got Doom right)!
From what I understand, in the reboot Doom is experienced in the web-o-sphere (and his name isn't even Doom, it's Victor Domashev). He is an expert programmer, and it sounds like he may be a blogger as well. How freaking lame! It would appear that he is not going to end up ruling a small country with an iron fist in the reboot (though I really hope they throw that aspect in somewhere in the film). The new trailer doesn't even feature any shots of Doom from what I can tell (though there is one shot of a mangled form crawling away from some wreckage that could easily be Doom).
I'm hoping they find some way to make Doom the bad-ass he always was and always will be, but for right now the words programmer and blogger suck all hope out of my being. The real Doom would be most displeased. I'll still probably see the film whenever it is released, and judge for myself. For those curious, you can find the trailer HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_flR9_6msik (Once again, I think it looks interesting although it still doesn't fill me with optimism).
Till next time, You've just been BUGGED!
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Saturday, January 10, 2015
TOP 20 OF 2014
Yes, it is finally time for me to bid 2014 a fond farewell by taking a look back at what I consider to be THE BEST FILMS OF 2014. It took me quite some time to compile this list. I watched many movies, and tried to catch up on films I hadn't seen yet. Naturally, not all of your favorite films will be on this list (I bet a few are though). If you do not agree with my list, feel free to comment below and let me know your own list of best films. Before we get to the good stuff, let's explore some HONORABLE MENTIONS
Proxy- A fantastic, dark, disturbing film. It's almost Hitchcockian with the way it handles it's plot and proceedings. It's part mystery, and part intense psychological drama. The film enjoys slowly peeling back it's layers and playing with the audience, and what we know or think we know. All the actors and actresses do a pretty bang up job. Definitely one of the better made independent films, and one I would highly recommend given you can stomach this film's disturbing subject matter.
Big Bad Wolves- A surprisingly great film from Israel. It's sadistic, dark, and surprisingly jokey at times. It doesn't always go the way you think it would, and the film does play a few mind games with the audience and I guess it's a bit fun in that aspect (you are always guessing). While the ending isn't entirely satisfying, I still liked it. The film is subtitled, but this is still one I would recommend. It is an expertly crafted film. Job well done Israel.
Cold In July- A film that continually morphs and changes right in front of your eyes. Michael C. Hall, Sam Shepard, and Don Johnson are superb in this southern fried Noir. I'm not going to tell you anything about the plot, because the less you know going in the better. The film is expertly directed by Jim Mickle, who seems to know how to craft perfectly structured scenes of suspense and tension. This is definitely one you would do well to check out if you are a fan of Noir, grit, and films that will take you on a journey.
Purge: Anarchy- Certainly not one of the best of the year, but damn was this film crazy and fun. Truly retarded in the best way possible.
A Walk Among The Tombstones- Liam Neeson's best film in a while. It's more of a film noir and a drama than anything else (not much violence here). Liam Neeson actually gets to act, and he portrays a fascinating character. I was surprised by how great this film was, and look forward to watching it again.
The Sacrament- AJ Bowen and Joe Swanberg are great as always as our two main protagonists, and Gene Jones is scary as our antagonist. It is a bit silly in some parts, but it's got one of the best endings to a handheld film I've seen (It's also easily the best ending to a Ti West film I've seen as well). I'm not a big fan of Ti West, but I guess this is probably the best film of his I've seen. The tension and suspense is always thick, plus our main characters are likable and it's easy to get invested in them and root for them.
Transformers: Age of Extinction- I can understand why most didn't like this film, but I personally really enjoyed it. I'm just glad someone made an almost 3 hour film of nothing but action, explosions, and robots fighting. It can get tiring, but I love that this is one of the ultimate action films. A real epic.
Boyhood: It's a cool film. It kind of just coasts along on it's fascinating concept. There's no real plot, or twists or turns (it's not even really a movie, maybe the word would be experimental film). We just sit and watch this one boy grow up all while he tries to figure out who he is. It's an interesting film, but it's incredibly long (exactly as long as Transformers 4) and it definitely drags a good deal. It's worth at least one watch if you're curious, and it's crazy to look at this kid at the end of the film and think that it's been the same actor since second one (we literally watch him grow up, pretty crazy). Boyhood is a unique film, I'm glad I got to watch it and it's certainly one of the better films of 2014 (although there are some films I can think of that are definitely better than this). I definitely liked it, I just didn't love it.
Inherent Vice- A film that I am still thinking about and pondering on. It's story is mesmerizing, it's characters endlessly watchable, and while the end isn't all that great it's the journey that counts here. This film touched me on a personal level, and I felt like I was in college again while I watched it. It's ultimately about one of the last of a dying breed as he wanders around a changing cultural landscape, lamenting the death of everything that was so great about America. A sad, but fun film. I've never had so much fun completely giving myself over to a film. A deeply rewarding experience. I look forward to multiple repeat viewings
Oculus- One of the better horror films to come out of 2014. I loved how entangled you get into the plot, and how the film deftly mixes past and present together so that by the end you can't tell what is going on. With a perfectly crushing climax, and a fantastic story (plus Karen Gillan is great and hot as our main lead) I'd say Oculus is one to remember.
Ok, with honorable mentions out of the way, let's go on to THE TOP 20 FILMS OF 2014!
20. Starry Eyes- At it's heart, this film is a harsh commentary (and a condemnation) of an industry and a town that preys on young hopefuls with stars in their eyes (hence the title). Alexandra Essoe is beautiful, talented, and chilling here. She makes quite an impression, and her transformation scenes are handled quite well (They are really more of a metaphor than anything else, though what we are watching really is happening to her). Noah Segan puts on a superb supporting performance too. It's a bit disappointing that the end has to shoe horn in some slasher elements which I feel detracts from the film overall and just doesn't feel right. These parts don't gel with the film we were watching before, and I feel that this movie didn't need them. Ignoring those parts though, Starry Eyes is a smart, disturbing and engrossing watch that at times can feel like a product of the Hollywood of old. A great film. I also can't believe this was a kickstarter film, I never would have guessed that.
19. The Gambler- Mark Whalberg's Jim Bennett is not a gambler, but a person who is unhappy with his life (he is also a literary professor at a college). He hates that he comes from wealth, that his mother is always looking out for him, and that most things were kind of just given to him. He wants to earn his life, and so chooses gambling as a way to lose all his money or commit suicide (whichever comes first). He borrows thousands from loan sharks, and does everything in his power to piss them off. It's not until he realizes that he's not just messing up his life, but the lives of people that he genuinely cares about that he is finally able to put on his big boy pants and set out to straighten things up. This is a real existential film about the pain of having everything you want, but not having to have worked to achieve it. We are not supposed to sympathize with Mark Whalberg here. That said, his quest to utterly destroy himself is an interesting one. Whalberg does one of his better acting jobs here, and while his character isn't really all that likable he does look super cool in just about every scene he's in (even when he's getting the snot kicked out of him). John Goodman is easily the best part of this film as a loan shark who doubles as a father figure for Bennett that offers sage pieces of wisdom every now and then. Goodman owns every single scene he is in, and his monologues are pretty strong stuff. The Gambler has a strong script from William Monahan, great directing from Rupert Wyatt, and a fantastic soundtrack. This film is pretty great and one of the rare intelligent films that doesn't want audiences to really get emotionally invested in the lead. I loved it.
18. Stretch- One of the most enjoyable, batshit insane and crazy films I've seen. It's also really funny. Patrick Wilson, Chris Pine, and Ed Helms are perfect. It's the tale of a down on his luck limo driver nick named Stretch (Patrick Wilson) and the craziest night of his life, sparked by a crazed client (played to perfection by Chris Pine) who offers to give Stretch a tip in the amount that he needs to pay off the loan shark he is in debt to. There's a catchy, in order to earn the tip Stretch must do everything the client asks of him. Joe Carnahan directs this wild romp that was sadly dumped straight to dvd. This film deserved a better release, and I can only hope that it gets a good shelf life thanks to positive word of mouth. A real gem.
17. The Guest- I LOVE THIS FILM!!! Dan Stevens is amazing and absolutely perfect here as a psychopath who sets out to help a family in his own special way. He is so damned likable and charming here (and a bit creepy at times too) that even though you know he is a psychopath you can't help but hope that you're wrong. This is really Steven's film, and I was surprised to find that I was completely on his side for the whole thing. His "David" is easily my personal favorite psychopath, and Dan Steven's performance is the main reason this film works as well as it does (also surprising that our "heroine" isn't nearly as likable as "David" is). I also like that the ending takes place at a Halloween themed event. While it's never fully explained what exactly is really going on here, the film is so much fun that you can't help but get whisked away in the thrill of it all (and the last act is indeed quite thrilling and exciting). The film also has a fantastic score/soundtrack and the cinematography is superb and very pretty. See it for Dan Stevens, the fantastic and seemingly simplistic plot (there is more going on under the surface here than there would appear to be though), and the thrilling and exciting action scenes. A top notch film, and a definite improvement over You're Next.
16. Edge of Tomorrow- It was so much fun getting to see Tom Cruise play against type for the first part of this film. I also loved getting to see him die again and again and again. This is a strong sci-fi film that plays like Groundhog Day meets Call of Duty, and it is probably the best video game film we're going to get for a while.
15. The Grand Budapest Hotel- I've never been a big Wes Anderson fan, but I sure did love this film. The film manages to be sad, smart, and hilarious in exactly the right doses as well as expertly telling it's many different stories. The sets are gorgeous, the acting from the leads and numerous bit roles are great, and the characters are all pretty memorable (especially Ralph Fiennes' Gustav M., who easily steals the show here). This is definitely one film worth checking out (though I would say if you are new to the films of Wes Anderson, this may not be the best place to start, familiarize yourself with this directors style first and then come back and watch this).
14. The Imitation Game- A dry, but super informative film. It is very depressing near the end, but this is still an important story that is worth telling. Cumberbatch does not disappoint in the lead role. I can't wait to see what this guy does next.
13. Dawn of The Planet of The Apes- The film is filled with smarts, intelligence, action, and art. The vfx are also completely stunning. Andy Serkis as Ceaser is amazing as always, and the mo-cap and animation for the apes is just unreal....you really forget you are looking at animation. The action and scenes of war are also completely superb and thrilling. As far as the humans go, Jason Clarke was superb (easily going toe to toe with Andy Serkis in some scenes), Keri Russell is fantastic and smoking hot, and Gary Oldman is great as usual (He's not in the film much, and his role is not at all what you expect it to be). While this isn't exactly the war we were promised, it's still more than enough for now (can't wait for the third film which I expect to be called War of The Planet of The Apes). It's the blockbuster we need, and the one we deserve.
12. The LEGO Movie- One of the biggest surprises of 2014. This film was filled with imagination and wit. I walked in expecting a kids film and got so much more. From it's impressive visuals, to its smart and hilarious top notch script. It also has a sweet message at its core, and manages to shake up the usual hero's journey story a good deal. When have Lord and Miller ever disappointed, these guys seem like they just can't lose. Everything is indeed awesome.
11. Under The Skin- A spectacular feat of filmmaking. Challenging, poetic, hypnotic, haunting, beautiful, artistic, and maybe even unforgettable. The score immediately establishes itself as one of the best modern film scores, and the cinematography is otherworldly. Scarlett Johansson is sexy, beautiful, and scary as our main character: an alien sent to Earth to lure Earth males with promises of sex to their doom. Slowly, she finds herself growing more connected to humanity. If anything, Johannson's character is a lost, wandering cosmic child. Under The Skin is a tale about what it means to be human, and the human experience. It looks at humanity from an alien pov, and what it finds is fascinating, scary, and beautiful. Oh yes, and Johannson has several tasteful and arty nude scenes. The way the film is done is sure to turn a few people off (it's got an art house vibe to it, and it's very indie), but Under The Skin is still one of the most unique, different, and satisfying film experiences you are likely to have in the modern day.
10. Birdman- A movie about broken people fighting against themselves and their flaws as they attempt to be better (or maybe a better word would be transcend), grappling with their own humanity and weaknesses along the way. Keaton, Stone, and Norton put on riveting, raw, real, honest performances as our leads. The camerawork and cinematography is pretty, unique, and at times surreal. It's a very different kind of film, and ultimately emerges as its own bizarre masterpiece.
9. Whiplash- The most tense film of 2014. J.K. Simmons puts on the performance of the year and is terrifying, brutal, and funny as Terrence Fletcher: The demon spawn of Chef Ramsey and Gny. Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket. Miles Teller puts on his best performance yet as the gifted Andrew Neyman, who completely destroys his life in his quest to be the best, encouraged and pushed over the edge by Fletcher. The film has some nice twists and turns, and a fantastic soundtrack. Whenever Teller or Simmons are on screen you can't tear your eyes away from them. Make no doubt about it, this is indeed one of the best films of 2014, and for vey good reason.
8. Captain America: The Winter Soldier- This was the film where Captain America finally became a bad-ass and one of my all time favorite Marvel heroes. The story is a smart spin on a 70's-esque government conspiracy plot mixed with a Marvel comic, and the way it ends changes the landscape of the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe. This film had some big balls. It's also clever, smart, thrilling, and even a bit funny. One of the best Marvel films, hands down.
7. Guardians of The Galaxy- The happiest a film has made me all year. I've said plenty about this film by now, and I'm not sure what else I can really add. Come and get your love, if you haven't already.
6. The Babadook- The Best horror film of 2014. A terrifying, powerful, visceral horror film about people suffering with severe mental illness. It's horror where the monster is the illness. Both Essie Davis and Noah Wiseman put on terrific, terrifying, and real performances as mother and son, both of whom are linked by the same mental illness. This is one of the best modern horror films, even though the ending fell a bit flat (Loved how it went completely off the rails though). This is a strong, memorable film and one that is most definitely worth your time and money.
5. Snowpiercer- In 2014, Humanity's last ditch attempt to stop global warming tragically backfires, freezing Earth and most of humanity. Now, the remains of the human race live inside a train (named Snowpiercer) that traverses the globe with the poor confined to a life of poverty and hardship in the back, and the rich living the high life in the front. When Chris Evans' Curtis plans a coup, things are shaken up for better and for worse. Snowpiercer is a high concept sci-fi actioner. The action scenes are good, but the real draw here is getting to explore Snowpiercer and the story itself. This is easily one of the best sci-fi films in recent years. It manages to be completely captivating, thrilling, and tense, not to mention it's sure to spark your imagination.
4. The Raid 2- The best action film this year. The actors did their own stunts and it's all impressively filmed. The Raid 2 is like taking a jumper cable to the heart, it's that thrilling.
3. Selma- A superb, emotionally exhausting film that effectively portrays the black civil rights movement by focusing on the events that occurred within Selma, Alabama. David Oyelowo is Martin Luther King Jr. and is complete perfection. In the film, MLK is not a super-being but is portrayed as a man with some flaws who struggles to balance his family life with his role as a leader. Despite his human weaknesses he is still able to overcome them and emerge as a hero. The film has plenty of hard-hitting moments, and it really puts you through the wringer. The film also has great supporting performances by Tim Roth as Gov. George Wallace, Carmen Ejogo as Coretta Scott King (what a strong, inspiring character. Crazy to think she was last seen in The Purge Anarchy as the mother), Oprah Winfrey as Annie Lee Cooper, Tom Wilkonson as President Lyndon B. Johnson (who is not portrayed here as a bad guy but as a coward who chooses to remain neutral in the conflict and in doing so causes more harm), Giovanni Ribisi as Lee White, Dylan Baker as J. Edgar Hoover, Cuba Gooding Jr. as Fred Gray, and Martin Sheen as Frank Minis Johnson. This is a heartbreaking, and angering film. It's hard to believe we ever lived in a time where these kinds of terrible things happened and were allowed and even encouraged. It's a stark reminder of some of the USA's dark history, and that even though we have come so far the battle is still not over. An absolute must-see!
2.Gone Girl- A film that is not only a witty commentary on the media culture we live in, but also a harsh and cynical look at relationships, love and marriage. It's got fantastic performances by Carrie Coons, Ben Affleck, Tyler Perry, and Rosamund Pike. Gone Girl is a vastly entertaining dreamy suburban nightmare that will make you think and will continue to haunt you long after the end credits have rolled. This is Fincher at his best.
1. Nightcrawler- Jake Gyllenhaal's oily Louis Bloom is the character of the year. He represents not just capitalism, but pure and unstoppable potential. The film itself is a seething condemnation of the media culture we currently live in. A culture that encourages psychopaths like Louis Bloom to keep doing their sick thing, and whats worse even rewards them for their behavior. It;s set in a terrifying world that is scary because it is all too real. A fascinating film that is worth multiple viewings.
So there you have it, my TOP 20 FILMS OF 2014. I had a great year, and I sure hope you did too. It is my sincere hope that you had just as much fun reading this list as I did compiling it. Till next time, here's to a great 2015!
Proxy- A fantastic, dark, disturbing film. It's almost Hitchcockian with the way it handles it's plot and proceedings. It's part mystery, and part intense psychological drama. The film enjoys slowly peeling back it's layers and playing with the audience, and what we know or think we know. All the actors and actresses do a pretty bang up job. Definitely one of the better made independent films, and one I would highly recommend given you can stomach this film's disturbing subject matter.
Big Bad Wolves- A surprisingly great film from Israel. It's sadistic, dark, and surprisingly jokey at times. It doesn't always go the way you think it would, and the film does play a few mind games with the audience and I guess it's a bit fun in that aspect (you are always guessing). While the ending isn't entirely satisfying, I still liked it. The film is subtitled, but this is still one I would recommend. It is an expertly crafted film. Job well done Israel.
Cold In July- A film that continually morphs and changes right in front of your eyes. Michael C. Hall, Sam Shepard, and Don Johnson are superb in this southern fried Noir. I'm not going to tell you anything about the plot, because the less you know going in the better. The film is expertly directed by Jim Mickle, who seems to know how to craft perfectly structured scenes of suspense and tension. This is definitely one you would do well to check out if you are a fan of Noir, grit, and films that will take you on a journey.
Purge: Anarchy- Certainly not one of the best of the year, but damn was this film crazy and fun. Truly retarded in the best way possible.
A Walk Among The Tombstones- Liam Neeson's best film in a while. It's more of a film noir and a drama than anything else (not much violence here). Liam Neeson actually gets to act, and he portrays a fascinating character. I was surprised by how great this film was, and look forward to watching it again.
The Sacrament- AJ Bowen and Joe Swanberg are great as always as our two main protagonists, and Gene Jones is scary as our antagonist. It is a bit silly in some parts, but it's got one of the best endings to a handheld film I've seen (It's also easily the best ending to a Ti West film I've seen as well). I'm not a big fan of Ti West, but I guess this is probably the best film of his I've seen. The tension and suspense is always thick, plus our main characters are likable and it's easy to get invested in them and root for them.
Transformers: Age of Extinction- I can understand why most didn't like this film, but I personally really enjoyed it. I'm just glad someone made an almost 3 hour film of nothing but action, explosions, and robots fighting. It can get tiring, but I love that this is one of the ultimate action films. A real epic.
Boyhood: It's a cool film. It kind of just coasts along on it's fascinating concept. There's no real plot, or twists or turns (it's not even really a movie, maybe the word would be experimental film). We just sit and watch this one boy grow up all while he tries to figure out who he is. It's an interesting film, but it's incredibly long (exactly as long as Transformers 4) and it definitely drags a good deal. It's worth at least one watch if you're curious, and it's crazy to look at this kid at the end of the film and think that it's been the same actor since second one (we literally watch him grow up, pretty crazy). Boyhood is a unique film, I'm glad I got to watch it and it's certainly one of the better films of 2014 (although there are some films I can think of that are definitely better than this). I definitely liked it, I just didn't love it.
Inherent Vice- A film that I am still thinking about and pondering on. It's story is mesmerizing, it's characters endlessly watchable, and while the end isn't all that great it's the journey that counts here. This film touched me on a personal level, and I felt like I was in college again while I watched it. It's ultimately about one of the last of a dying breed as he wanders around a changing cultural landscape, lamenting the death of everything that was so great about America. A sad, but fun film. I've never had so much fun completely giving myself over to a film. A deeply rewarding experience. I look forward to multiple repeat viewings
Oculus- One of the better horror films to come out of 2014. I loved how entangled you get into the plot, and how the film deftly mixes past and present together so that by the end you can't tell what is going on. With a perfectly crushing climax, and a fantastic story (plus Karen Gillan is great and hot as our main lead) I'd say Oculus is one to remember.
Ok, with honorable mentions out of the way, let's go on to THE TOP 20 FILMS OF 2014!
20. Starry Eyes- At it's heart, this film is a harsh commentary (and a condemnation) of an industry and a town that preys on young hopefuls with stars in their eyes (hence the title). Alexandra Essoe is beautiful, talented, and chilling here. She makes quite an impression, and her transformation scenes are handled quite well (They are really more of a metaphor than anything else, though what we are watching really is happening to her). Noah Segan puts on a superb supporting performance too. It's a bit disappointing that the end has to shoe horn in some slasher elements which I feel detracts from the film overall and just doesn't feel right. These parts don't gel with the film we were watching before, and I feel that this movie didn't need them. Ignoring those parts though, Starry Eyes is a smart, disturbing and engrossing watch that at times can feel like a product of the Hollywood of old. A great film. I also can't believe this was a kickstarter film, I never would have guessed that.
19. The Gambler- Mark Whalberg's Jim Bennett is not a gambler, but a person who is unhappy with his life (he is also a literary professor at a college). He hates that he comes from wealth, that his mother is always looking out for him, and that most things were kind of just given to him. He wants to earn his life, and so chooses gambling as a way to lose all his money or commit suicide (whichever comes first). He borrows thousands from loan sharks, and does everything in his power to piss them off. It's not until he realizes that he's not just messing up his life, but the lives of people that he genuinely cares about that he is finally able to put on his big boy pants and set out to straighten things up. This is a real existential film about the pain of having everything you want, but not having to have worked to achieve it. We are not supposed to sympathize with Mark Whalberg here. That said, his quest to utterly destroy himself is an interesting one. Whalberg does one of his better acting jobs here, and while his character isn't really all that likable he does look super cool in just about every scene he's in (even when he's getting the snot kicked out of him). John Goodman is easily the best part of this film as a loan shark who doubles as a father figure for Bennett that offers sage pieces of wisdom every now and then. Goodman owns every single scene he is in, and his monologues are pretty strong stuff. The Gambler has a strong script from William Monahan, great directing from Rupert Wyatt, and a fantastic soundtrack. This film is pretty great and one of the rare intelligent films that doesn't want audiences to really get emotionally invested in the lead. I loved it.
18. Stretch- One of the most enjoyable, batshit insane and crazy films I've seen. It's also really funny. Patrick Wilson, Chris Pine, and Ed Helms are perfect. It's the tale of a down on his luck limo driver nick named Stretch (Patrick Wilson) and the craziest night of his life, sparked by a crazed client (played to perfection by Chris Pine) who offers to give Stretch a tip in the amount that he needs to pay off the loan shark he is in debt to. There's a catchy, in order to earn the tip Stretch must do everything the client asks of him. Joe Carnahan directs this wild romp that was sadly dumped straight to dvd. This film deserved a better release, and I can only hope that it gets a good shelf life thanks to positive word of mouth. A real gem.
17. The Guest- I LOVE THIS FILM!!! Dan Stevens is amazing and absolutely perfect here as a psychopath who sets out to help a family in his own special way. He is so damned likable and charming here (and a bit creepy at times too) that even though you know he is a psychopath you can't help but hope that you're wrong. This is really Steven's film, and I was surprised to find that I was completely on his side for the whole thing. His "David" is easily my personal favorite psychopath, and Dan Steven's performance is the main reason this film works as well as it does (also surprising that our "heroine" isn't nearly as likable as "David" is). I also like that the ending takes place at a Halloween themed event. While it's never fully explained what exactly is really going on here, the film is so much fun that you can't help but get whisked away in the thrill of it all (and the last act is indeed quite thrilling and exciting). The film also has a fantastic score/soundtrack and the cinematography is superb and very pretty. See it for Dan Stevens, the fantastic and seemingly simplistic plot (there is more going on under the surface here than there would appear to be though), and the thrilling and exciting action scenes. A top notch film, and a definite improvement over You're Next.
16. Edge of Tomorrow- It was so much fun getting to see Tom Cruise play against type for the first part of this film. I also loved getting to see him die again and again and again. This is a strong sci-fi film that plays like Groundhog Day meets Call of Duty, and it is probably the best video game film we're going to get for a while.
15. The Grand Budapest Hotel- I've never been a big Wes Anderson fan, but I sure did love this film. The film manages to be sad, smart, and hilarious in exactly the right doses as well as expertly telling it's many different stories. The sets are gorgeous, the acting from the leads and numerous bit roles are great, and the characters are all pretty memorable (especially Ralph Fiennes' Gustav M., who easily steals the show here). This is definitely one film worth checking out (though I would say if you are new to the films of Wes Anderson, this may not be the best place to start, familiarize yourself with this directors style first and then come back and watch this).
14. The Imitation Game- A dry, but super informative film. It is very depressing near the end, but this is still an important story that is worth telling. Cumberbatch does not disappoint in the lead role. I can't wait to see what this guy does next.
13. Dawn of The Planet of The Apes- The film is filled with smarts, intelligence, action, and art. The vfx are also completely stunning. Andy Serkis as Ceaser is amazing as always, and the mo-cap and animation for the apes is just unreal....you really forget you are looking at animation. The action and scenes of war are also completely superb and thrilling. As far as the humans go, Jason Clarke was superb (easily going toe to toe with Andy Serkis in some scenes), Keri Russell is fantastic and smoking hot, and Gary Oldman is great as usual (He's not in the film much, and his role is not at all what you expect it to be). While this isn't exactly the war we were promised, it's still more than enough for now (can't wait for the third film which I expect to be called War of The Planet of The Apes). It's the blockbuster we need, and the one we deserve.
12. The LEGO Movie- One of the biggest surprises of 2014. This film was filled with imagination and wit. I walked in expecting a kids film and got so much more. From it's impressive visuals, to its smart and hilarious top notch script. It also has a sweet message at its core, and manages to shake up the usual hero's journey story a good deal. When have Lord and Miller ever disappointed, these guys seem like they just can't lose. Everything is indeed awesome.
11. Under The Skin- A spectacular feat of filmmaking. Challenging, poetic, hypnotic, haunting, beautiful, artistic, and maybe even unforgettable. The score immediately establishes itself as one of the best modern film scores, and the cinematography is otherworldly. Scarlett Johansson is sexy, beautiful, and scary as our main character: an alien sent to Earth to lure Earth males with promises of sex to their doom. Slowly, she finds herself growing more connected to humanity. If anything, Johannson's character is a lost, wandering cosmic child. Under The Skin is a tale about what it means to be human, and the human experience. It looks at humanity from an alien pov, and what it finds is fascinating, scary, and beautiful. Oh yes, and Johannson has several tasteful and arty nude scenes. The way the film is done is sure to turn a few people off (it's got an art house vibe to it, and it's very indie), but Under The Skin is still one of the most unique, different, and satisfying film experiences you are likely to have in the modern day.
10. Birdman- A movie about broken people fighting against themselves and their flaws as they attempt to be better (or maybe a better word would be transcend), grappling with their own humanity and weaknesses along the way. Keaton, Stone, and Norton put on riveting, raw, real, honest performances as our leads. The camerawork and cinematography is pretty, unique, and at times surreal. It's a very different kind of film, and ultimately emerges as its own bizarre masterpiece.
9. Whiplash- The most tense film of 2014. J.K. Simmons puts on the performance of the year and is terrifying, brutal, and funny as Terrence Fletcher: The demon spawn of Chef Ramsey and Gny. Sgt. Hartman from Full Metal Jacket. Miles Teller puts on his best performance yet as the gifted Andrew Neyman, who completely destroys his life in his quest to be the best, encouraged and pushed over the edge by Fletcher. The film has some nice twists and turns, and a fantastic soundtrack. Whenever Teller or Simmons are on screen you can't tear your eyes away from them. Make no doubt about it, this is indeed one of the best films of 2014, and for vey good reason.
8. Captain America: The Winter Soldier- This was the film where Captain America finally became a bad-ass and one of my all time favorite Marvel heroes. The story is a smart spin on a 70's-esque government conspiracy plot mixed with a Marvel comic, and the way it ends changes the landscape of the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe. This film had some big balls. It's also clever, smart, thrilling, and even a bit funny. One of the best Marvel films, hands down.
7. Guardians of The Galaxy- The happiest a film has made me all year. I've said plenty about this film by now, and I'm not sure what else I can really add. Come and get your love, if you haven't already.
6. The Babadook- The Best horror film of 2014. A terrifying, powerful, visceral horror film about people suffering with severe mental illness. It's horror where the monster is the illness. Both Essie Davis and Noah Wiseman put on terrific, terrifying, and real performances as mother and son, both of whom are linked by the same mental illness. This is one of the best modern horror films, even though the ending fell a bit flat (Loved how it went completely off the rails though). This is a strong, memorable film and one that is most definitely worth your time and money.
5. Snowpiercer- In 2014, Humanity's last ditch attempt to stop global warming tragically backfires, freezing Earth and most of humanity. Now, the remains of the human race live inside a train (named Snowpiercer) that traverses the globe with the poor confined to a life of poverty and hardship in the back, and the rich living the high life in the front. When Chris Evans' Curtis plans a coup, things are shaken up for better and for worse. Snowpiercer is a high concept sci-fi actioner. The action scenes are good, but the real draw here is getting to explore Snowpiercer and the story itself. This is easily one of the best sci-fi films in recent years. It manages to be completely captivating, thrilling, and tense, not to mention it's sure to spark your imagination.
4. The Raid 2- The best action film this year. The actors did their own stunts and it's all impressively filmed. The Raid 2 is like taking a jumper cable to the heart, it's that thrilling.
3. Selma- A superb, emotionally exhausting film that effectively portrays the black civil rights movement by focusing on the events that occurred within Selma, Alabama. David Oyelowo is Martin Luther King Jr. and is complete perfection. In the film, MLK is not a super-being but is portrayed as a man with some flaws who struggles to balance his family life with his role as a leader. Despite his human weaknesses he is still able to overcome them and emerge as a hero. The film has plenty of hard-hitting moments, and it really puts you through the wringer. The film also has great supporting performances by Tim Roth as Gov. George Wallace, Carmen Ejogo as Coretta Scott King (what a strong, inspiring character. Crazy to think she was last seen in The Purge Anarchy as the mother), Oprah Winfrey as Annie Lee Cooper, Tom Wilkonson as President Lyndon B. Johnson (who is not portrayed here as a bad guy but as a coward who chooses to remain neutral in the conflict and in doing so causes more harm), Giovanni Ribisi as Lee White, Dylan Baker as J. Edgar Hoover, Cuba Gooding Jr. as Fred Gray, and Martin Sheen as Frank Minis Johnson. This is a heartbreaking, and angering film. It's hard to believe we ever lived in a time where these kinds of terrible things happened and were allowed and even encouraged. It's a stark reminder of some of the USA's dark history, and that even though we have come so far the battle is still not over. An absolute must-see!
2.Gone Girl- A film that is not only a witty commentary on the media culture we live in, but also a harsh and cynical look at relationships, love and marriage. It's got fantastic performances by Carrie Coons, Ben Affleck, Tyler Perry, and Rosamund Pike. Gone Girl is a vastly entertaining dreamy suburban nightmare that will make you think and will continue to haunt you long after the end credits have rolled. This is Fincher at his best.
1. Nightcrawler- Jake Gyllenhaal's oily Louis Bloom is the character of the year. He represents not just capitalism, but pure and unstoppable potential. The film itself is a seething condemnation of the media culture we currently live in. A culture that encourages psychopaths like Louis Bloom to keep doing their sick thing, and whats worse even rewards them for their behavior. It;s set in a terrifying world that is scary because it is all too real. A fascinating film that is worth multiple viewings.
So there you have it, my TOP 20 FILMS OF 2014. I had a great year, and I sure hope you did too. It is my sincere hope that you had just as much fun reading this list as I did compiling it. Till next time, here's to a great 2015!
SMALLS ENJOYS THE MARIJUANA INFUSED DAYDREAM THAT IS INHERENT VICE
In Inherent Vice we follow Larry "Doc" Sportello (Joaquin Phoenix), a stoner PI who's life is shaken up a good deal when his ex girlfriend Shasta Fay Hepworth (Katherine Waterston) shows up at his door, begging him to help stop a strange scheme. It doesn't take long before Doc finds himself entangled in several bizarre cases while at the same time drifting through a haze of weed in a changing cultural landscape: Los Angeles in 1970.
Paul Thomas Anderson adapts the Thomas Pynchon novel of the same name (Anderson both directs the film and wrote the screenplay, he does great with each), and going by the little I've read of the novel I'd say he does a pretty good job. The book is a fairly tough read, and it is hard to follow...much like the film. Anderson has assembled a top notch cast for his latest outing, most of whom excel in their roles both big and small. Katherine Waterston has a real world beauty to her as SHasta Fay, and she is pretty great in her role (quite memorable). Eric Roberts excels in his one scene, but walks away with one of my favorite lines in the whole film. Owen Wilson gets to actually act in a completely non-comedic performance and while this isn't his best role, it's nice to actually see him play a character with depth for a change. Benicio Del Toro is one of the really cool surprises here and is perfectly cast as Sauncho Smilax, a maritime lawyer who is a friend to Doc. It's cool to see him play a different version of what is essentially his character from Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas. Joanna Newsom is also perfectly cast as Sortilege, a dreamy character who acts as our narrator and an ever present friend to Doc. Is she real, is she a figment of Doc's imagination, or could she possibly be a bit of both? There's also Martin Short as Dr. Rudy Blatnoyd, a sack-a-doodle dentist who's main vice is cocaine. Short gets to go completely over the top, and is quite enjoyable in his scenes (which I would compare to Alfred Molina's scenes in Boogie Nights).
Josh Brolin is great as Lt. Det. Christian "Bigfoot" Bjornson, an out-of-luck and mean-spirited cop who hates hippies. His quasi-friendship with Doc is one of the strongest aspects of the film. They both hate each other, but also share a begrudging respect as well. Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Joaquin Phoenix, who is absolutely perfect here as the bumbling pot head who is much smarter than he ever lets on. While he does have his own interests, and gets involved with the main case for his own personal reasons (mainly that he just can't get over Shasta Fay, who is the one who got away), he is more-or-less a selfless person and is inherently good. He acts as the perfect foil for a lot of the other seedy and not-so-nice characters we run into over the course of the film.
Robert Elswit is in charge of cinematography for the film (he also was in charge of cinematography for Nightcrawler). In his hands, Los Angeles becomes a dreamy but realistic landscape. Even the barren, dry areas are absolutely beautiful. The whole film is gorgeous to look at, and I'd say between this and Nightcrawler it should be a safe bet he gets at least one nomination come Oscar time.
Inherent Vice runs at around 2 hours and 30 minutes. It is a LONG film (probably could have had a few minutes shaved off and it still would have been just as great), and while it certainly bears resemblances to The Big Lebowski and The Long Goodbye, the film it most reminded me of was The Big Sleep (one of my all time favorite films). Like The Big Sleep, Inherent Vice is a convoluted and hard to follow film but I'd say it's all the better for it. Mind you, I'm not saying it's impossible to follow, it just requires your complete attention. I loved it on my first go-round, and would imagine it only gets better with repeat viewings. I'm not going to say the plot isn't important, because it is. Inherent Vice is a film that is actually quite pertinent to today's modern world. It takes place in the beginning of a tumultuous decade when things were starting to change for the worse, and Doc is a left-over remnant of a dying breed. It's a film about the changing cultural landscape of America, and we see how hippies, the hippie culture, and weed were beginning to become demonized in said culture. While Inherent Vice seems light and fun, upon closer inspection I realized it was actually pretty sad as well.
Inherent Vice, like The Big Sleep before it, is a film where the point is to enjoy the journey. Don't fret over the plot, allow yourself to get caught up in the whirlwind of it all and just enjoy yourself. It really and truly is a fun film. It's also got some really great, deep messages and themes that I am still thinking about as I write this. I haven'd had a film in 2014 stay with me like this and had me thinking and pondering this hard. As if all this weren't enough, the character of Doc is a strong one and becomes one of the great modern cinematic heroes (I really do think the world would be a better place if everyone was a bit more like Doc). Even if you've never taken a toke in your life, Inherent Vice still manages to be one hell of a mesmerizing film that is fun to get lost in and easily emerges as one of the top films of 2014.
5 STARS
Paul Thomas Anderson adapts the Thomas Pynchon novel of the same name (Anderson both directs the film and wrote the screenplay, he does great with each), and going by the little I've read of the novel I'd say he does a pretty good job. The book is a fairly tough read, and it is hard to follow...much like the film. Anderson has assembled a top notch cast for his latest outing, most of whom excel in their roles both big and small. Katherine Waterston has a real world beauty to her as SHasta Fay, and she is pretty great in her role (quite memorable). Eric Roberts excels in his one scene, but walks away with one of my favorite lines in the whole film. Owen Wilson gets to actually act in a completely non-comedic performance and while this isn't his best role, it's nice to actually see him play a character with depth for a change. Benicio Del Toro is one of the really cool surprises here and is perfectly cast as Sauncho Smilax, a maritime lawyer who is a friend to Doc. It's cool to see him play a different version of what is essentially his character from Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas. Joanna Newsom is also perfectly cast as Sortilege, a dreamy character who acts as our narrator and an ever present friend to Doc. Is she real, is she a figment of Doc's imagination, or could she possibly be a bit of both? There's also Martin Short as Dr. Rudy Blatnoyd, a sack-a-doodle dentist who's main vice is cocaine. Short gets to go completely over the top, and is quite enjoyable in his scenes (which I would compare to Alfred Molina's scenes in Boogie Nights).
Josh Brolin is great as Lt. Det. Christian "Bigfoot" Bjornson, an out-of-luck and mean-spirited cop who hates hippies. His quasi-friendship with Doc is one of the strongest aspects of the film. They both hate each other, but also share a begrudging respect as well. Of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention Joaquin Phoenix, who is absolutely perfect here as the bumbling pot head who is much smarter than he ever lets on. While he does have his own interests, and gets involved with the main case for his own personal reasons (mainly that he just can't get over Shasta Fay, who is the one who got away), he is more-or-less a selfless person and is inherently good. He acts as the perfect foil for a lot of the other seedy and not-so-nice characters we run into over the course of the film.
Robert Elswit is in charge of cinematography for the film (he also was in charge of cinematography for Nightcrawler). In his hands, Los Angeles becomes a dreamy but realistic landscape. Even the barren, dry areas are absolutely beautiful. The whole film is gorgeous to look at, and I'd say between this and Nightcrawler it should be a safe bet he gets at least one nomination come Oscar time.
Inherent Vice runs at around 2 hours and 30 minutes. It is a LONG film (probably could have had a few minutes shaved off and it still would have been just as great), and while it certainly bears resemblances to The Big Lebowski and The Long Goodbye, the film it most reminded me of was The Big Sleep (one of my all time favorite films). Like The Big Sleep, Inherent Vice is a convoluted and hard to follow film but I'd say it's all the better for it. Mind you, I'm not saying it's impossible to follow, it just requires your complete attention. I loved it on my first go-round, and would imagine it only gets better with repeat viewings. I'm not going to say the plot isn't important, because it is. Inherent Vice is a film that is actually quite pertinent to today's modern world. It takes place in the beginning of a tumultuous decade when things were starting to change for the worse, and Doc is a left-over remnant of a dying breed. It's a film about the changing cultural landscape of America, and we see how hippies, the hippie culture, and weed were beginning to become demonized in said culture. While Inherent Vice seems light and fun, upon closer inspection I realized it was actually pretty sad as well.
Inherent Vice, like The Big Sleep before it, is a film where the point is to enjoy the journey. Don't fret over the plot, allow yourself to get caught up in the whirlwind of it all and just enjoy yourself. It really and truly is a fun film. It's also got some really great, deep messages and themes that I am still thinking about as I write this. I haven'd had a film in 2014 stay with me like this and had me thinking and pondering this hard. As if all this weren't enough, the character of Doc is a strong one and becomes one of the great modern cinematic heroes (I really do think the world would be a better place if everyone was a bit more like Doc). Even if you've never taken a toke in your life, Inherent Vice still manages to be one hell of a mesmerizing film that is fun to get lost in and easily emerges as one of the top films of 2014.
5 STARS
Saturday, January 3, 2015
THE WORST FILMS OF 2014
Well, 2014 has officially come to a close so you know what that means. It's time for my worst films of 2014 list. Coming in at Number 10 we have....
10. The Fault In Our Stars- I had heard a lot of buzz about this film, and finally gave in and gave it a watch after some ravings from a family member about how great it was. I was less than enthused. First off, Gus (Ansel Elgort) came across as more of the perfect teen girl fantasy guy. He's slightly dangerous (because he's dying or WAS dying), seems intelligent (he's really not though), is a virgin (this part had me laughing pretty hard.), and even has abs. I mean, COME ON!!! He wasn't at all believable as a real human being. I wouldn't really even fault Ansel Elgort though as much as I would the film's script, which paints our two star-crossed lovers as typically stupid teens who are inconsiderate and think they are super deep (even though they aren't). The film switches back and forth between being a perfect teen fantasy (like the parts in Amsterdam), and a super dark tragedy (like the final 45 minutes or so). I will say Shailene Woodley was more believable in her role, she definitely seemed more like a real teen, faults and all (for example, she's really inconsiderate to her parents and those who are trying to help her). In the end, the best parts of this film are Laura Dern as Woodley's grieving mother, and Willem Dafoe as a cranky reclusive author (I can't really blame him for the way he acts towards our teen heroes). In the end, this film will hit the bullseye for it's target demographic: young teen girls, anyone who has stars in their eyes, and anyone who is idealistic. However, if you are even a bit cynical then this film is most definitely not for you. What it wants to do it pulls off fairly ok (the sad parts are really painful to watch, almost to an uncomfortable degree, like one scene where a boy who is about to become blind due to cancer learns his girlfriend is breaking up with him). I've seen better YA adaptations (like The Giver or The Hunger Games), and I've seen better Make-You-Cry films (like Old Yeller, Marley and Me, and Dead Poets Society). The Fault In Our Stars is a film that has many faults inside, while the sad parts are a little too effective this film is in reality nothing more than just another typical YA adaptation....filled with schmaltz. It's got a lot of sound, but signifies nothing.
9. Annie- Ok, this film wasn't as god-awful or terrible as I had thought it would be....but that still doesn't make it any good. Yes, the songs are awful (and the film actually makes 3 brand new songs, and changes some of the lyrics to existing songs. Unaccapetable, when they have more than enough material at their disposal. This film had no business making new songs.), and I'm not a fan of how they urbanized the existing songs (it's all hip hoppy now...ugh). Cameron Diaz is also easily the worst actor here as Ms. Hannigan. She is not funny, nor mean enough and her last second change of heart at the end feels unearned and way too fast. Annie is a fairly harmless film, and it even has some good parts to it (I'm looking at you Jaime Foxx), but in the end Annie is quite possibly the perfect example of an unnecessary and unneeded remake. Let's face it folks, Annie holds absolutely no relevance to the world today and no matter how much you try to urbanize the characters and the songs this doesn't change that fact.
8. That Awkward Moment- Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Zac Efron, Imogen Poots, and Mackenzie Davis are all great and work great together (they all have real chemistry). That said, the plot is as cliched and typical as you can get. It's also not funny, and some characters make painfully, obviously bad decisions. The talent here is ultimately wasted on a film and script that is subpar.
7. Let's Be Cops- Occasionally funny, Let's Be Cops has a promising premise but fails to deliver on the goods. We don't buy our leads as friends, nor are we invested enough in them to actually care when they find themselves in real danger. I had high expectations for this film, it could have been a hilarious and bad-ass films....as is, it's neither of those things (though the action scenes near the end are good).
6. Transcendence- The film definitely had a great deal of potential, but unfortunately they gathered the exact wrong people to work on it. With a more experienced director, a better scriptwriter/more scriptwriters, and more touch-ups on the script this film could have been amazing. The film wants to be an intelligent parable about humanity and technology, but unfortunately it's just dumb.....really really really dumb. The actors have all proven they can act in previous films, but in this movie they flounder and flop around like fish out of water (none are given much to work with, and there isn't a single good performance in the bunch, although Rebecca Hall makes for nice eye candy). The cinematography is also pretty nice at times (there is one shot of a truck running through a puddle that actually took my breath away). Transcendence could have been a huge, smart, blockbuster thriller....the kind of thing movies have been in need of for a while....as it is it's definitely got a big budget but it's just dumb, slow, and even a bit confusing at points. Don't see it, don't even rent it.
5. TMNT- This film is lame, however it isn't completely terrible. The opening sequence is pretty cool, and the turtles themselves are pretty cool (although their design sucks). It is wonderfully bizarre at times ( a whole gang getting beat by a giant rat and his mutated ninja turtles, how embarrassing that must be), and the backstory of the turtles and Splinter is pretty cool (however I didn't like how April O'NEal is such a big part of it). Shredder is a completely CGI creation when he's in the suit, and so is Splinter and the Turtles plus a good deal of the action (how lame and disappointing). While watching this film, I couldn't help but think that I'd rather be watching any of the four Transformers films. Maybe that's because this movie is modeled after those films, but Transformers does it better. The action is meh, Meghan Fox is ok as O'Neal, although the film kept forcing her to do sexy things like jump on a trampoline and lean out of a car window so the viewer can get a good look at her butt. Fox is trying way too hard to prove she is still hot. I got exactly what I expected from this: a dumb, stupid and mind-numbing film that really did not need to be made (and what's worse it actually beat Guardians of The Galaxy for one whole week....ARGH!).
4. V/H/S Viral- I was really hoping for another great, fun outing since the first two V/H/S films are some of my favorite horror anthologies. Unfortunately, all the passion and creativity seems to have suddenly been drained from this franchise. Not only is this outing shorter with less segments, it's also nowhere near as bizarre, scary, creepy, fun, or creative. It says a lot when the best segment in the whole thing is about some punk skateboarders fighting off a creepy, skeleton cult. I was sorely disappointed, and am beginning to feel that maybe the V/H/S franchise should just end before it gets any worse.
3. Endless Love- Horrendous, bland, cheesy crap. It's just an awful film. I'm not even sure why I chose to watch it. The acting is bad for the most part and the story is typical teen-romance. Why was this film made? I have no idea, but it should not have been. The only good thing about this film is that it's not hard at all to erase the memory of it from your mind.
2. Tusk- The two worst scenes in 2014 are both in this movie. Justin Long, Michael Parks, and Genesis Rodriguez (who is stunningly gorgeous and sexy here) all put on fine performances (for the most part), with Rodriguez being the best out of the three I'd say. . Unfortunately, the script is pretty awful, the sfx are quite hokey (the walrus suit looks downright silly), and Johnny Depp almost hijacks the film every time he's on screen (I mean this in a bad way, the camera keeps running for way too long in almost every scene he's in, and he seems to improvise and get carried away quite a bit). I will say Depp creates a full character here, but his Guy Lapointe is almost too silly (complete with a silly accent and Depp's signature silly hat) to be taken seriously as the "hero" of the film or as a competent investigator. I would be slightly more forgiving, but the ending is just atrocious and a slap in the face to anyone who even dared to get even semi-emotionally invested in the characters. Kevin Smith seems to have made this film purely for his own entertainment and while it is enjoyably bizarre at points, and pretty interesting during it's first act this film is never funny enough or scary/creepy/tense enough for it to be considered a success. Tusk is a bad movie, and one you would be wise to skip (and don't get me started on the sole scene Johnny Depp and Michael Parks share, or on the walrus fight scene between Justin Long and Michael Parks....just awful).
1. Sex Tape- I love Jason Segal, he is easily one of my favorite comedic actors out there right now and BOY did it hurt having to watch him happily become a shameless corporate whore for Apple. First of all, There is no nudity at all in this film (sorry for those who went in hoping to se Cameron Diaz's boobs, you don't get them here). Why the hell make a film about a sex tape if you don't ever get to see the actors either naked (and the sex tape itself isn't seen by the audience until the very end and it's one of the most un-sexiest things you will ever see....why were these two afraid of this getting out and being seen by others? Maybe they didn't want to be embarrassed?). However, that's not the reason this film made it onto my number one spot. The reason why this film is the worst film of 2014 is because it's barely a film....in reality Sex Tape is a poorly disguised 94 minute ad for the iPad and Apple products (and even YouPorn and many other pornograpic websites in one scene). There are numerous scenes where Jason Segal spouts off lines about how cool, advanced and durable the new iPad is. It's downright insulting and disgusting. Films like this DO NOT EVER need to be made, by paying money to see shit like this audiences are sending Hollywood a VERY DANGEROUS MESSAGE and are encouraging filmmakers to make more movies like this one. Sex Tape is not sexy, funny, clever, or well-written. As I said before the film disgusted me that it was so easily able to pull the wool over audiences eyes, and often patted itself on the back for thinking it had so easily fooled everyone. I hated having to watch one of my favorite actors sell out in one of the biggest, most obvious and humiliating ways possible, smiling while doing so (Yes, Segal seemed very happy and more than eager to sell out). Sex Tape is the worst kind of film imaginable, and may it burn in the fiery pits of hell where it damn well belongs!
So, there you have it. My Worst films of 2014. My Best Of list probably won't be ready for a little while as I go back and try to catch up on all the great films I haven't viewed yet. I promise you though: it is coming, and it will be glorious. Till then, thanks for sitting through these stinkers with me (I really hope you didn't watch any of these films), and be sure to stay tuned for more coming soon-ish!
10. The Fault In Our Stars- I had heard a lot of buzz about this film, and finally gave in and gave it a watch after some ravings from a family member about how great it was. I was less than enthused. First off, Gus (Ansel Elgort) came across as more of the perfect teen girl fantasy guy. He's slightly dangerous (because he's dying or WAS dying), seems intelligent (he's really not though), is a virgin (this part had me laughing pretty hard.), and even has abs. I mean, COME ON!!! He wasn't at all believable as a real human being. I wouldn't really even fault Ansel Elgort though as much as I would the film's script, which paints our two star-crossed lovers as typically stupid teens who are inconsiderate and think they are super deep (even though they aren't). The film switches back and forth between being a perfect teen fantasy (like the parts in Amsterdam), and a super dark tragedy (like the final 45 minutes or so). I will say Shailene Woodley was more believable in her role, she definitely seemed more like a real teen, faults and all (for example, she's really inconsiderate to her parents and those who are trying to help her). In the end, the best parts of this film are Laura Dern as Woodley's grieving mother, and Willem Dafoe as a cranky reclusive author (I can't really blame him for the way he acts towards our teen heroes). In the end, this film will hit the bullseye for it's target demographic: young teen girls, anyone who has stars in their eyes, and anyone who is idealistic. However, if you are even a bit cynical then this film is most definitely not for you. What it wants to do it pulls off fairly ok (the sad parts are really painful to watch, almost to an uncomfortable degree, like one scene where a boy who is about to become blind due to cancer learns his girlfriend is breaking up with him). I've seen better YA adaptations (like The Giver or The Hunger Games), and I've seen better Make-You-Cry films (like Old Yeller, Marley and Me, and Dead Poets Society). The Fault In Our Stars is a film that has many faults inside, while the sad parts are a little too effective this film is in reality nothing more than just another typical YA adaptation....filled with schmaltz. It's got a lot of sound, but signifies nothing.
9. Annie- Ok, this film wasn't as god-awful or terrible as I had thought it would be....but that still doesn't make it any good. Yes, the songs are awful (and the film actually makes 3 brand new songs, and changes some of the lyrics to existing songs. Unaccapetable, when they have more than enough material at their disposal. This film had no business making new songs.), and I'm not a fan of how they urbanized the existing songs (it's all hip hoppy now...ugh). Cameron Diaz is also easily the worst actor here as Ms. Hannigan. She is not funny, nor mean enough and her last second change of heart at the end feels unearned and way too fast. Annie is a fairly harmless film, and it even has some good parts to it (I'm looking at you Jaime Foxx), but in the end Annie is quite possibly the perfect example of an unnecessary and unneeded remake. Let's face it folks, Annie holds absolutely no relevance to the world today and no matter how much you try to urbanize the characters and the songs this doesn't change that fact.
8. That Awkward Moment- Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Zac Efron, Imogen Poots, and Mackenzie Davis are all great and work great together (they all have real chemistry). That said, the plot is as cliched and typical as you can get. It's also not funny, and some characters make painfully, obviously bad decisions. The talent here is ultimately wasted on a film and script that is subpar.
7. Let's Be Cops- Occasionally funny, Let's Be Cops has a promising premise but fails to deliver on the goods. We don't buy our leads as friends, nor are we invested enough in them to actually care when they find themselves in real danger. I had high expectations for this film, it could have been a hilarious and bad-ass films....as is, it's neither of those things (though the action scenes near the end are good).
6. Transcendence- The film definitely had a great deal of potential, but unfortunately they gathered the exact wrong people to work on it. With a more experienced director, a better scriptwriter/more scriptwriters, and more touch-ups on the script this film could have been amazing. The film wants to be an intelligent parable about humanity and technology, but unfortunately it's just dumb.....really really really dumb. The actors have all proven they can act in previous films, but in this movie they flounder and flop around like fish out of water (none are given much to work with, and there isn't a single good performance in the bunch, although Rebecca Hall makes for nice eye candy). The cinematography is also pretty nice at times (there is one shot of a truck running through a puddle that actually took my breath away). Transcendence could have been a huge, smart, blockbuster thriller....the kind of thing movies have been in need of for a while....as it is it's definitely got a big budget but it's just dumb, slow, and even a bit confusing at points. Don't see it, don't even rent it.
5. TMNT- This film is lame, however it isn't completely terrible. The opening sequence is pretty cool, and the turtles themselves are pretty cool (although their design sucks). It is wonderfully bizarre at times ( a whole gang getting beat by a giant rat and his mutated ninja turtles, how embarrassing that must be), and the backstory of the turtles and Splinter is pretty cool (however I didn't like how April O'NEal is such a big part of it). Shredder is a completely CGI creation when he's in the suit, and so is Splinter and the Turtles plus a good deal of the action (how lame and disappointing). While watching this film, I couldn't help but think that I'd rather be watching any of the four Transformers films. Maybe that's because this movie is modeled after those films, but Transformers does it better. The action is meh, Meghan Fox is ok as O'Neal, although the film kept forcing her to do sexy things like jump on a trampoline and lean out of a car window so the viewer can get a good look at her butt. Fox is trying way too hard to prove she is still hot. I got exactly what I expected from this: a dumb, stupid and mind-numbing film that really did not need to be made (and what's worse it actually beat Guardians of The Galaxy for one whole week....ARGH!).
4. V/H/S Viral- I was really hoping for another great, fun outing since the first two V/H/S films are some of my favorite horror anthologies. Unfortunately, all the passion and creativity seems to have suddenly been drained from this franchise. Not only is this outing shorter with less segments, it's also nowhere near as bizarre, scary, creepy, fun, or creative. It says a lot when the best segment in the whole thing is about some punk skateboarders fighting off a creepy, skeleton cult. I was sorely disappointed, and am beginning to feel that maybe the V/H/S franchise should just end before it gets any worse.
3. Endless Love- Horrendous, bland, cheesy crap. It's just an awful film. I'm not even sure why I chose to watch it. The acting is bad for the most part and the story is typical teen-romance. Why was this film made? I have no idea, but it should not have been. The only good thing about this film is that it's not hard at all to erase the memory of it from your mind.
2. Tusk- The two worst scenes in 2014 are both in this movie. Justin Long, Michael Parks, and Genesis Rodriguez (who is stunningly gorgeous and sexy here) all put on fine performances (for the most part), with Rodriguez being the best out of the three I'd say. . Unfortunately, the script is pretty awful, the sfx are quite hokey (the walrus suit looks downright silly), and Johnny Depp almost hijacks the film every time he's on screen (I mean this in a bad way, the camera keeps running for way too long in almost every scene he's in, and he seems to improvise and get carried away quite a bit). I will say Depp creates a full character here, but his Guy Lapointe is almost too silly (complete with a silly accent and Depp's signature silly hat) to be taken seriously as the "hero" of the film or as a competent investigator. I would be slightly more forgiving, but the ending is just atrocious and a slap in the face to anyone who even dared to get even semi-emotionally invested in the characters. Kevin Smith seems to have made this film purely for his own entertainment and while it is enjoyably bizarre at points, and pretty interesting during it's first act this film is never funny enough or scary/creepy/tense enough for it to be considered a success. Tusk is a bad movie, and one you would be wise to skip (and don't get me started on the sole scene Johnny Depp and Michael Parks share, or on the walrus fight scene between Justin Long and Michael Parks....just awful).
1. Sex Tape- I love Jason Segal, he is easily one of my favorite comedic actors out there right now and BOY did it hurt having to watch him happily become a shameless corporate whore for Apple. First of all, There is no nudity at all in this film (sorry for those who went in hoping to se Cameron Diaz's boobs, you don't get them here). Why the hell make a film about a sex tape if you don't ever get to see the actors either naked (and the sex tape itself isn't seen by the audience until the very end and it's one of the most un-sexiest things you will ever see....why were these two afraid of this getting out and being seen by others? Maybe they didn't want to be embarrassed?). However, that's not the reason this film made it onto my number one spot. The reason why this film is the worst film of 2014 is because it's barely a film....in reality Sex Tape is a poorly disguised 94 minute ad for the iPad and Apple products (and even YouPorn and many other pornograpic websites in one scene). There are numerous scenes where Jason Segal spouts off lines about how cool, advanced and durable the new iPad is. It's downright insulting and disgusting. Films like this DO NOT EVER need to be made, by paying money to see shit like this audiences are sending Hollywood a VERY DANGEROUS MESSAGE and are encouraging filmmakers to make more movies like this one. Sex Tape is not sexy, funny, clever, or well-written. As I said before the film disgusted me that it was so easily able to pull the wool over audiences eyes, and often patted itself on the back for thinking it had so easily fooled everyone. I hated having to watch one of my favorite actors sell out in one of the biggest, most obvious and humiliating ways possible, smiling while doing so (Yes, Segal seemed very happy and more than eager to sell out). Sex Tape is the worst kind of film imaginable, and may it burn in the fiery pits of hell where it damn well belongs!
So, there you have it. My Worst films of 2014. My Best Of list probably won't be ready for a little while as I go back and try to catch up on all the great films I haven't viewed yet. I promise you though: it is coming, and it will be glorious. Till then, thanks for sitting through these stinkers with me (I really hope you didn't watch any of these films), and be sure to stay tuned for more coming soon-ish!
Friday, January 2, 2015
THE SHOWDOWN: HARRY POTTER DIAGON ALLEY VS. JAWS
Three years ago on this very day, I lost a ride that was and is still very near and dear to my heart: The Jaws Ride. It was replaced by a new Harry Potter attraction based around Gringotts bank and two new lands themed to Potter's London and Diagon Alley. Since last year I finally got to visit my old friend's replacement, I figured now would be a good time to compare both lands and rides, and see which comes out on top. You ready? Good, because these two titans of theme parks are about to go to toe to toe! LET'S DO THIS!!!!
ROUND ONE: THEMING AND THINGS TO DO
AMITY ISLAND: The Amity area had some of the best theming on Universal property. From the moment you stepped under the 4th of July banner it really felt like you had stepped into the actual Amity Island. The land itself had it's own cool little backstory, and the numerous pay-to-play games and food stands actually fit into the theme of the land. The music that played was also of a nice, festive, retro variety (I liked the tunes in this area so much that I actually downloaded quite a few to my Itouch for further listening). At first glance the theming of the area seemed pretty simple, but upon closer examination you realize it's actually subtly complex (especially in the Captain Jake's queue). In terms of things to do, there wasn't a whole lot. There were the above stated pay-to-play games, some food stands (like Nathan's), the Bruce photo op, and of course The Jaws Ride. That said, I would literally spend hours in the area just resting, people watching, and soaking up the atmosphere. Amity was my favorite area in the park, and I loved getting to spend some quality time there. While it may be just a fragment of memory, the Amity Island area of USF will always be remembered as having some of the best theming in theme park history.
DIAGON ALLEY AND POTTER'S LONDON: Oh boy, where do I start? The theming in both the London and Diagon Alley areas is complex, in-your-face, and elaborate. In London we have a nice waterfront, the Picadilly Circus fountain, the Knights Bus (complete with conductor and talking head), and we also have Kings Cross which at times has a street musician (complete in regular clothes) playing a sax outside, we also have the ability to catch the Hogwarts Express from Kings Cross to Hogsmeade (and yes, you get to walk thru a wall and into Platform 9 3/4 to get there). The London area is gorgeous, and realistic. Having been to London just last year, I can say they got the little details right. It does indeed feel like you are in London, which is cool. The hidden Diagon Alley area is quite large and spacious, filled with tiny, cool details. To get there you have to pass though one of the London facades, and then walk through a large brick wall that has a large hole blown into it (from Death Eaters?). Once inside you can explore a variety of shops, eat at The Leaky Cauldron, set up an account at Gringotts Bank, trade in your muggle money for wizard money, explore Knockturn Alley, catch a small show, and eat/drink at some small vendors. There is A LOT to do here (to the point where I would say you could spend a full day at both areas and still not see everything). Universal did a real superb job with the space left from Amity, and crafted two top notch lands that are worth visiting and re-visiting. Points goes to Diagon Alley/Potter's London.
ROUND 1 WINNER
THEMING: DIAGON ALLEY/POTTER'S LONDON
THINGS TO DO: DIAGON ALLEY/POTTER'S LONDON
ROUND 2: THE RIDES
AMITY ISLAND: There was just one ride in Amity, but boy was it a doozy. It was called The Jaws Ride, and literally had everything a ride needs. Superb theming, thrills, excitement, a cool story, great effects, and guest/skipper interaction. The queue for the ride was filled to the brim with top notch theming including numerous nautical or Jaws themed items, and a nifty pre-show video disguised as a local tv station that kept guests updated on Island events/news while quietly spoon-feeding the backstory of the ride and the island to them. The ride itself lasted for a good 5 minutes, and didn't waste a single second. It was fun, it was silly, and it was thrilling. I've talked so much about this ride in pervious posts, I don't know what else I could really add here. All you really need to know is that The Jaws Ride was one of the greats, and it's a shame there will be generations to come that will never know of its greatness except through stories and tales.
DIAGON ALLEY/POTTER'S LONDON: There are two rides, one for each land. In Potter's London we get The Hogwarts Express, and in Diagon Alley we get Harry Potter and The Escape From Gringotts. Since Gringotts is the centerpiece of the whole area, let's talk about that first. Escape From Gringotts was highly touted as having some of the most advanced technology in a theme park ride. Unfortunately, about 90% of the ride is 3D screens. The few physical environments that are in the ride are impressive, as are the highly touted effects within....however I prefer a ride that has more of a mix (like Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey, which is the superior ride in my opinion). The actual ride of Gringotts is also surprisingly tame (Revenge of The Mummy is more of a roller coaster than Gringotts is). The queue for Gringotts is quite possibly the best part of the whole experience, as it is highly themed (though there is a portion that is kind of bare), and comes complete with it's own Gringotts Elevator mini-ride. I'd say that Gringotts is overall a great, fun experience but one that I always find a bit lacking. Easily the best ride in the new land is The Hogwarts Express, which is a short train ride to Hogsmeade Village in Islands of Adventure (and from Hogsmeade back to Potter's London), but the train itself is highly detailed, the ride itself is short, sweet and fun, and you can't beat the feeling you get riding on that train. Overall, while there may be more rides in the plot of land than there used to be, I'm going to say The Jaws Ride offered a more satisfying, complete experience. Point goes to The Jaws Ride!
ROUND 2 WINNER
THE RIDES: THE JAWS RIDE
So, tallying up the votes The overall land of Potter's London/Diagon Alley comes out on top, while individually The Jaws Ride towers over Gringotts and Hogwarts Express. Overall, the Potter Expansion wins the contest. It's clear that no matter which way you cut it, Universal managed to replace a bonafide classic with an experience that is quite satisfactory, fun, and worth re-visiting. I'll always have a special place in my heart for Amity and Jaws, but there is no use dwelling on the past. While I will always miss The Jaws Ride, I know that I'll still have a great time every time I visit it's replacement lands and rides...and in the end, I'd say that's a fair compromise.
ROUND ONE: THEMING AND THINGS TO DO
AMITY ISLAND: The Amity area had some of the best theming on Universal property. From the moment you stepped under the 4th of July banner it really felt like you had stepped into the actual Amity Island. The land itself had it's own cool little backstory, and the numerous pay-to-play games and food stands actually fit into the theme of the land. The music that played was also of a nice, festive, retro variety (I liked the tunes in this area so much that I actually downloaded quite a few to my Itouch for further listening). At first glance the theming of the area seemed pretty simple, but upon closer examination you realize it's actually subtly complex (especially in the Captain Jake's queue). In terms of things to do, there wasn't a whole lot. There were the above stated pay-to-play games, some food stands (like Nathan's), the Bruce photo op, and of course The Jaws Ride. That said, I would literally spend hours in the area just resting, people watching, and soaking up the atmosphere. Amity was my favorite area in the park, and I loved getting to spend some quality time there. While it may be just a fragment of memory, the Amity Island area of USF will always be remembered as having some of the best theming in theme park history.
DIAGON ALLEY AND POTTER'S LONDON: Oh boy, where do I start? The theming in both the London and Diagon Alley areas is complex, in-your-face, and elaborate. In London we have a nice waterfront, the Picadilly Circus fountain, the Knights Bus (complete with conductor and talking head), and we also have Kings Cross which at times has a street musician (complete in regular clothes) playing a sax outside, we also have the ability to catch the Hogwarts Express from Kings Cross to Hogsmeade (and yes, you get to walk thru a wall and into Platform 9 3/4 to get there). The London area is gorgeous, and realistic. Having been to London just last year, I can say they got the little details right. It does indeed feel like you are in London, which is cool. The hidden Diagon Alley area is quite large and spacious, filled with tiny, cool details. To get there you have to pass though one of the London facades, and then walk through a large brick wall that has a large hole blown into it (from Death Eaters?). Once inside you can explore a variety of shops, eat at The Leaky Cauldron, set up an account at Gringotts Bank, trade in your muggle money for wizard money, explore Knockturn Alley, catch a small show, and eat/drink at some small vendors. There is A LOT to do here (to the point where I would say you could spend a full day at both areas and still not see everything). Universal did a real superb job with the space left from Amity, and crafted two top notch lands that are worth visiting and re-visiting. Points goes to Diagon Alley/Potter's London.
ROUND 1 WINNER
THEMING: DIAGON ALLEY/POTTER'S LONDON
THINGS TO DO: DIAGON ALLEY/POTTER'S LONDON
ROUND 2: THE RIDES
AMITY ISLAND: There was just one ride in Amity, but boy was it a doozy. It was called The Jaws Ride, and literally had everything a ride needs. Superb theming, thrills, excitement, a cool story, great effects, and guest/skipper interaction. The queue for the ride was filled to the brim with top notch theming including numerous nautical or Jaws themed items, and a nifty pre-show video disguised as a local tv station that kept guests updated on Island events/news while quietly spoon-feeding the backstory of the ride and the island to them. The ride itself lasted for a good 5 minutes, and didn't waste a single second. It was fun, it was silly, and it was thrilling. I've talked so much about this ride in pervious posts, I don't know what else I could really add here. All you really need to know is that The Jaws Ride was one of the greats, and it's a shame there will be generations to come that will never know of its greatness except through stories and tales.
DIAGON ALLEY/POTTER'S LONDON: There are two rides, one for each land. In Potter's London we get The Hogwarts Express, and in Diagon Alley we get Harry Potter and The Escape From Gringotts. Since Gringotts is the centerpiece of the whole area, let's talk about that first. Escape From Gringotts was highly touted as having some of the most advanced technology in a theme park ride. Unfortunately, about 90% of the ride is 3D screens. The few physical environments that are in the ride are impressive, as are the highly touted effects within....however I prefer a ride that has more of a mix (like Harry Potter and The Forbidden Journey, which is the superior ride in my opinion). The actual ride of Gringotts is also surprisingly tame (Revenge of The Mummy is more of a roller coaster than Gringotts is). The queue for Gringotts is quite possibly the best part of the whole experience, as it is highly themed (though there is a portion that is kind of bare), and comes complete with it's own Gringotts Elevator mini-ride. I'd say that Gringotts is overall a great, fun experience but one that I always find a bit lacking. Easily the best ride in the new land is The Hogwarts Express, which is a short train ride to Hogsmeade Village in Islands of Adventure (and from Hogsmeade back to Potter's London), but the train itself is highly detailed, the ride itself is short, sweet and fun, and you can't beat the feeling you get riding on that train. Overall, while there may be more rides in the plot of land than there used to be, I'm going to say The Jaws Ride offered a more satisfying, complete experience. Point goes to The Jaws Ride!
ROUND 2 WINNER
THE RIDES: THE JAWS RIDE
So, tallying up the votes The overall land of Potter's London/Diagon Alley comes out on top, while individually The Jaws Ride towers over Gringotts and Hogwarts Express. Overall, the Potter Expansion wins the contest. It's clear that no matter which way you cut it, Universal managed to replace a bonafide classic with an experience that is quite satisfactory, fun, and worth re-visiting. I'll always have a special place in my heart for Amity and Jaws, but there is no use dwelling on the past. While I will always miss The Jaws Ride, I know that I'll still have a great time every time I visit it's replacement lands and rides...and in the end, I'd say that's a fair compromise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)