FIGHT FEST REVIEW: THE UNIVERSAL MONSTERS

This is a review I have been wanting to do for several years now. The Universal monsters mean a lot to me and to film in general. They helped to shape the horror genre and to make Universal the classic studio it is today. As you will see, these films all have things in common: strong performances, timeless characters, rich atmospheres, and memorable scripts. Tonight, I won't just review these films, I will rank them. So, let's get this rotting corpse a rollin.


Creature From The Black Lagoon: The weakest of the Universal Monster films, but it's still an entertaining outing. It's very campy, silly, and filled with "science" (yeah, it's not science). I thought the best part of this film was the Gill-Man, who's got an interesting costume and personality. The human actors aren't too memorable, but Julie Adams is mighty pretty. In all, it's memorable because it's a fun time. That said, Maybe not the best choice to watch around October, some of the film is shot at Silver Springs (which I've actually visited WOOT!) and while it is a beautiful location I just didn't get the Halloween vibe from it.

Rating: 3.5 STARS

Rank: #6


Bride of Frankenstein: Not the best Universal Monster film. Karloff returns and still impresses as The Monster. In this sequel, he is softened a bit. The Monster is more likable, and he talks here uttering a few classic lines like "We belong dead". Colin Clive also returns as Henry Frankenstein, and gets a significantly reduced amount of screen time. This sequel makes obvious some of the themes in Frankenstein, and I'd count that as a bit of a weak point. Other weak points include a distinct attempt at comedy, but these parts come on way too strong, are over the top, and when are present almost drown out every other aspect of the film (the worst sinner when it comes to this is Una O'Connor who is just over-the-top and grating). One of the more curious aspects of this film is that, for some strange reason, Lovecraft's Dr. Pretorius is the main villain here. It doesn't make much sense why (or how) he is even here, but I do appreciate it as sort of a loving nod to another classic literary author and character. While there are a few classic scenes and lines, overall Bride of Frankenstein is still a fairly uneven but enjoyable outing. I wouldn't say it's iconic, or even great but it is good and fun.

Rating: 3.5 STARS

Rank: #5


The Mummy: The film is notable for it's fantastic atmosphere and sets (I LOVE that the majority of the film takes place inside an Egyptian museum complete with coffins and such, so cool). Karloff makes Imhotep an imposing but majestic figure, and Zita Johann as Helen is a beauty with her large eyes. David Manners is kind of bland as the "hero" of the film, and Edward Van Sloan is a likeable Van Helsing-esque expert (and indeed, Sloan portrayed Van Helsing in Dracula) who has made it his mission to stop Imhotep at all costs. The story of Ancient Egyptian Gods, eternal love, resurrection, betrayal, and madness is also pretty fascinating at points. The film starts out really great, but gets sillier as it progresses onwards. It's worth a view for Karloff, Johann and the fantastic sets and atmosphere...it really does feel like you are in Ancient Egypt in some points. The Mummy is still one of the best Universal Horror films out there. I would highly recommend it.

Rating: 4 STARS

Rank: #4


The Wolf Man: The definitive werewolf film. There are several really strong performances here. Evelyn Ankers makes for a fine romantic interest as Gwen. She is mighty pretty, and her character is a strong and interesting one. Claude Rains is great as Sir John Talbot. He is a firm skeptic, and while he may seem a bit cold he still cares very much about his son Lawrence. I really liked his character. Naturally, we can't talk about The Wolf Man without talking about Lon Chaney Jr, son of "The Man Of A Million Faces" Lon Chaney. Here, he plays Lawrence Talbot who is the unfortunate protagonist of our tale. He puts on a multi-layered performance as a very good man who, try as he might, cannot prevent himself from doing very bad things when the wolfsbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright (that's right, originally wolfsbane, a plant, played a large role in the myth of the werewolf). Lon Chaney Jr's Lawrence Talbot is very likable and sympathetic, and when he turns it's almost like a different actor is playing him. He disappears into the role of both Lawrence and The Wolf Man, it's kind of incredible. The atmosphere here is also rich and moody. Fog often overwhelms the camera (in a good way), and the woods is a haunting, memorable location. The Wolf Man is one of the great screen tragedies, and the material here is actually fairly powerful stuff. I couldn't help but be a bit moved by the iconic finale. The Wolf Man would go on to define the werewolf genre, influencing many other films that would come after (like An American Werewolf In London, that pays homage to this classic and even name checks it a few times). There's no doubt about it, The Wolf Man earns its status as an iconic horror film.

Rating: 5 STARS

Rank: #3



Dracula: This is it guys, the one that started it all: The first ever Universal Monster film. Universal took the source material and managed to craft a film that is completely their own. Bella Lugosi is the stuff of legends as the titular Dracula. He puts on a natural, powerful, and fascinating performance as the titular count. It's no wonder his portrayal has become as iconic and widely revered as it is. Edward Von Sloan is the perfect foil to the evil count as the pure force of good Van Helsing, whose sole mission is to put a stop to Dracula and his madness once and for all. Sloan puts on yet another iconic performance in the film. Dwight Frye is unforgettable and chilling as Renfield, the insane, (somewhat) loyal servant to Dracula. His portrayal is easily iconic (there's that word again), and he created what is essentially the "Igor" character. Helen Chandler is also pretty memorable as Mina, who is very pretty and has some nice eyes on her (that she knows how to use). The sets and atmosphere are rich, elaborate and superb. We get a foggy London, and a creepy Carfax Abbey, but by far the standout here is that of Castle Dracula, which is gorgeous, haunting, and foreboding. The script is also pretty strong, and filled with many memorable, classic lines. I was surprised by just how strong of a film Dracula remains today, even when it gets a little bit silly at times, you still completely buy into this world and it's hard not to get immersed into it. Dracula is a fun, very creepy, and all around great gothic horror/romance. I'd say it kind of crawls under your skin. It goes without saying that Dracula is an important film in horror history, and it still remains one of the all time best Universal monster films.

Rating: 5 STARS

Rank: #2



Frankenstein: THE Iconic Universal Monster film. Colin Clive is chilling as Dr. Henry Frankenstein, an unhinged scientist who is obsessed with finding the secret to life. He succeeds, but the results of his mad experiment leave him guilt ridden and restless. Clive is perfect in the role, and his portrayal is one of the iconic mad scientists of film. He makes the character fascinating, creepy, but sympathetic, sad and tragic. Dwight Frye is also perfect as Fritz, the original "Igor" role. He literally originated the Igor role as he portrayed both Renfield and Fritz, characters that embody many of the tropes that we have come to associate with the Igor character. Easily the best part about this film is Boris Karloff as The Monster. Here, he is the stuff legends are made of and he puts on a performance that will continue to be talked about forever. Karloff pours every inch of his soul into the tortured monster, who does not understand what he is, and is unable to control himself. Karloff can go from a state of childlike wonder and innocence and in the very next second fly into a fit of homicidal rage, his range here is truly impressive. He is the ultimate misunderstood monster of the silver screen, and his portrayal will live on for ages. He is what makes Frankenstein the memorable horror-tragedy it is today, and his Monster is endlessly watchable. The sets are fairly elaborate (especially Frankenstein's lab), and the workings of the plot may seem simple, but are actually pretty complex. There is a lot going on here, and the film is filled with many different themes that are fun to chew on and think about. Filled with rich, complex characters, elaborate sets, a strong and memorable script, and superb acting, Frankenstein earns its iconic, timeless status and it remains a film that can be watched countless times thanks to its performances, characters, and themes. I'd say it's the best (and my personal favorite) Universal monster film.

Rating: 5 STARS

Rank: #1


And just like that, the book closes on yet another Fright Fest. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but take comfort in the knowledge that the children of the night are always there, just out of sight, waiting in the darkness. I hope you all enjoyed my Fright Fest, and till next time: HAPPY HAUNTING!

NIGHTCRAWLER

In Nightcrawler, we follow low life Louis Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal). He is a restless figure who wants to step it up a bit, and so sets his sights on becoming the best nightcrawler there is( For those not in the know, a nightcrawler is a person who roams the streets at night, scanning police radios so they can arrive at crime scenes before anyone else and thusly catch some hopefully great footage that they can then sell to news stations). Along the way he has has to deal with rivals (Bill Paxton), a poorly motivated employee (Riz Ahmed), and a head of a news station (Rene Russo).

Jake Gyllenhaal shines as the greasy, oily, slick, and smart Louis. This is unlike any other role we have seen him tackle so far, and he does so with an energy and enthusiasm that is thrilling. It is uncomfortable to watch him here, I felt like I didn't want to even touch the guy but I couldn't keep my eyes off him. Gyllenhaal's Louis is a POS who will do anything to get ahead of the game, and he seems to be an expert liar and manipulator. There seems to be something off about him as well, like he may have some form of Aspergers....or maybe he "just doesn't like people", as he quips in a scene. Either way, it is a thrill to follow this character down into some extremely dark depths and get to watch just how deep and far he will go to get on top (and the deeper he goes, the higher up the rungs of the ladder he climbs). I'd say this is easily Gyllenhaal's best role to date, he plays against type and clearly relishes the chance to do so. I'm hoping he gets a nomination for his performance here, he deserves it. I'm going to say that this is my favorite performance of the year thus far.

The supporting cast is pretty strong as well. Riz Ahmed is entertaining and likable as Rick, an impoverished man who Louis hires as his assistant. Riz gets to play not only a sane voice, but almost acts as an audience stand in at times. Rene Russo is pretty great as Nina, the head of a news outlet that Louis is working with. Like Louis, she doesn't have many morals and encourages him throughout the film. Bill Paxton also makes an appearance as Joe Loder, a seedy rival of Louis'. Like always, Paxton makes something out of what is essentially nothing, crafting a character that is fun to spend a few minutes with here or there (plus, I found it entertaining to hear Paxton use the term 'brah"repeatedly).

The cinematography in Nightcrawler is absolutely gorgeous (props to Robert Elswit, who was in charge of cinematography for the film). The film opens with various shots of a gorgeous Los Angeles at night, and while most of the film takes place in really dirty, seedy, "bad" areas Nightcrawler always looks shiny, polished and clean (I would compare the cinematography to Drive's). The script is also surprisingly superb and well written. Nightcrawler is directed by first timer Dan Gilroy (who also wrote the script for the film), but you honestly wouldn't be able to tell. The film is pretty well paced, and while it's running time is just three minutes shy of two hours, I was so caught up in the film that the time really flew by. There were no parts that dragged, except for maybe the last 5 minutes or so. Right when you start to feel how long this film is, it wraps everything up.

I honestly can't think of a single problem I had with Nightcrawler. It manages to be a behind the scenes portrait of how news rooms work, a fascinating character study of Gyllenhaal's Louis, and an enthralling trip down a dark rabbit hole.  It is an incredibly dark film, and I left the theater feeling dirty (like I needed a shower) but I still loved the hell out of it. Nightcrawler's dark subject matter and POS protagonist may be a turn off for some, but it did the trick for me! When all is said and done, Nightcrawler is a gorgeous, brilliant film that easily emerges as one of the top films of 2014. I'd say it's definitely a must see.

5 STARS

RIGHT FEST REVIEW: CANDYMAN

In Candyman, young Grad student Helen (Virginia Madsen) is doing a thesis on urban legends and in her research comes across the legend of the Candyman (Tony Todd), a murderous man with a hook for a hand who can be summoned by saying his name 5 times into a mirror. Intrigued, Helen decides to dig deeper and in doing so unwittingly summons the Candyman who immediately sets about wrecking her and her friend's lives.

Virginia Madsen (Yes, she is Michael Madsen's sister) makes for a strong female lead as Helen Lyle(that we also get some boobage from, giggitty). As far as top 90's horror heroine's go,  I'd place her several notches above Scream's Sidney.  She is a willful, intelligent,  independent woman that also makes quite a few mistakes and spends a good portion of the film being tempted by evil. I really dug her character, and found it super easy to root for her.  Tony Todd is a frightening yet fascinating villain (Who has a rich backstory to boot) who seems to have a penchant for fur coats. He isn't in it a whole lot, not making his grand appearance until the second half or so of the film. Todd and Mansen share a pretty super chemistry, and when both are in a scene together fun times are sure to be had.

Before viewing this, I thought Candyman looked like a typical 90's slasher. Now that I have seen it, I realize I couldn't have been more wrong. This is a film that always found some new way to surprise me, and it's not at all what I had thought it would be. For a horror film, we don't get too many deaths (the ones we do get are freaking brutal though). In fact, most of the run time is spent with Helen as she investigates, it's not until the latter half that things really start to go BOOM!

Candyman has a Clive Barker-esque feel to it, which is  only appropriate considering it's based on one of his novels (and while he doesn't direct, I still think this is one of my favorite Clive Barker films). It's a film that asks a chilling question: What if each urban legend had some basis in fact? Candyman is pretty freaky, it has a dark tone and manages to be one of the more mature, adult horror films I've seen. I'd say imagine if Scream, Nightmare On Elm Street, and Hellraiser were to mix: The end product would be Candyman, one hell of a different horror-ific treat.

5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST REVIEW: JOHN CARPENTER'S IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS

I am a big fan of master director John Carpenter, and although he has lost his shine in more recent years (What ever you do, do not watch The Ward. Just trust me on this one) I still consider him one of  the all time best directors, and one of my personal favorites. I've reviewed The Thing, The Fog, and Halloween (what I call The Holy Trinity), and today I review another great horror film from John Carpenter. Today's special: In The Mouth of Madness.

In The Mouth of Madness follows insurance fraud investigator John Trent (Sam Neill), as he is hired  to find a popular and profitable Lovecraft-ian/Stephen king-esque horror author named Sutter Cane (Jurgen Prochnow) who has gone missing. As riots start to break out all over in advance of his newest novel (whose final draft has gone missing along with Cane. Also, apparently some avid Cane fans are starting to lose their minds), Trent goes searching for the mythical town of Hobbs End, which is featured heavily in Cane's novels and is believed to be completely fictional; however Trent believes he may have found a map to the area hidden in the paperback covers to Cane's novels. What Trent could never have predicted is that his search for Cane, Hobbs End, and the final draft will take him to the very edge of sanity and right into the mouth of madness itself.

Sam Neill has always been one of my favorite actors. I grew up watching him as Dr. Allen Grant in Jurassic Park, and in In The Mouth of Madness he puts on another one of his all time best performances as a man who is a staunch believer in reality and what happens when this belief is ultimately put to the test. I really liked that they made him a reasonable, sane (at first), and intelligent person. Most of his reactions and decisions  throughout the film make sense and seem like ones I would make if ever put in the same situation. His John Trent is likable and pretty easy to root for, and a large part of the fun of the film is watching the hell he is put through and the various effects his trials have on him. I'd put this performance right next to Dr. Allen Grant, maybe even a notch above that....it's honestly hard to say (I really do have a strong fondness for Grant).

Jurgen Prochnow is also pretty memorable as mysterious and creepy author Sutter Cane. I really dig the way they have him look in the film, and while he's not in much of it he definitely leaves a mark. Julie Carmen is pretty good as Linda Styles, a worker at the publishing house for Cane's novels and a Cane fan herself. Charlton Heston makes a brief appearance as Jackson Harglow, the head of the publishing company. Naturally, he makes his small role count and is actually kind of memorable here. Lastly, I've got to mention that Wilhelm Von Homburg (aka Vigo The Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2) shows up in a bit role here as well.

The town of Hobbs End is itself a fantastic creation. It looks absolutely perfect here, perfectly resembling a quaint, idyllic, small New England town (although Ontario Canada was used as the filming location. How ironic!). Of course, Hobbs End may not be as nice as it looks. Every small town has its fair share of demons, and Hobbs End may have more than expected.

In The Mouth of Madness was written by Michael De Luca, and while it's not the best script you can sample the film is filled with fascinating idea about authors, God, reality, and sanity/insanity. The horror here comes from these ideas. In The Mouth of Madness is almost an existential horror film, and when looked at as such I'd say this film could easily be called a success (I know people who also say it's the best Lovecraft film ever made. Although it isn't based on any Lovecraft stories, In The Mouth of Madness was clearly inspired a good deal by Lovecraft).

While In The Mouth of Madness doesn't really feel like a Carpenter film, this is still one of his best (in my opinion). The cast here is a solid one, the ideas and themes explored are pretty rich, the filming locations are beautiful, and the horror elements work surprisingly well. In The Mouth of Madness is considered by some to be the watermark for John Carpenter (apparently after this film is where he started to lose the touch, or so I've heard). I was pleasantly surprised how insane this film actually is (it continually ups the craziness until we reach that awesome final scene). It took me two viewings to finally come to my own conclusions as to what is going on here. In The Mouth of Madness is a great film, due in large part to the casting of Sam Neill and the hard work of John Carpenter. I found it to be an extremely enjoyable and fun ride. If this really is/was Carpenter's last great film, then I say he went out on a pretty sweet note.

4 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: V/H/S VIRAL

I used to count myself as a fan of the V/H/S franchise. I could understand why some didn't like the first and second films, but personally....I loved the hell out of them. When I heard that a third V/H/S film was being released I was pretty stoked. The first two films were great , so how hard would it be for the filmmakers to craft another worthwhile outing? Well....maybe lightning can strike the same place twice, but never three times in a row. Let's delve into the shorts and see what the latest installment of V/H/S has in store for us.

 The first segment we'll explore is entitled Vicious Circles, which acts as our overarching story.  In Vicious Circles a young man is dating a young woman. He seems to have an obsession with filming everything, much to the woman's chagrin. One night, he hears that a police chase of an ice cream van is going to be passing right by his house, so he rushes out to catch the whole thing on camera. Unfortunately, once the ice cream van passes his girlfriend vanishes, leaving him to give chase through the city after the ice cream van in an attempt to get some answers. Along the way he stumbles across gory videos which we get to watch. The main female in this short (Emilia Zoryan) is super pretty and attractive, we do get some nice shots of her ass in nice shorts or her cleavage in a tank top or bra....but, although she does tease at taking her top off, we never get to see the goods. Oh well.  This segment cuts to random phone vids just about constantly, switching to random people thru the city for a few minutes at a time. These are not the V/H/S segments, they are just random clips of other people's recordings which are forcibly shoved into this segment for no apparent reason. I suppose this was done in an attempt to give this short a larger sense of scale, but it never works and only confuses the viewer. There is no real plot here, and no real connectivity at all (the segment barely tries to connect our V/H/S shorts together). Vicious Circles is confusing, frustrating, the big reveal makes no real sense and the repercussions of the ending are not fleshed out at all. This is a weak, useless segment and it angers me. Most of my problems with V/H/S Viral are problems that I also have with Vicious Circles (but more on those later). It goes without saying that this is the weakest short in all three V/H/S films.  Rating: 1 Star

The first tape we watch is entitled Dante The Great. In it, a wanna-be magician named Dante finds a cloak used by Harry Houdini and discovers that it can actually produce real magic tricks. It isn't long before Dante is a star, hosting sold-out shows in large cities like Vegas. Unfortunately, the cloak comes with a cost. Most of this short is filmed faux-documentary style. This makes for sloppy, confusing, poorly edited storytelling. This short would have ranked a lot lower if it weren't for a big magic fight at the end. This part is super entertaining, very fun, and is easily where the heart of this short lies.  While the ending leaves most questions unanswered, the big magic fight makes this one worth sitting through.  Rating: 2.5 Stars

The 2nd tape we watch is entitled Parallel Monsters. In this spanish (Yupp, it's subtitled. It honestly didn't bother me.) short, a man creates a machine that opens a portal to an alternate universe. It just so happens that the alternate universe version of himself has created the same machine at the same exact time. Both versions of the man agree to swap places for 15 minutes so they can quickly explore the alternate universes. Needless to say, both universes are different from each other in vast ways. It doesn't take long for this short to bumble it's interesting premise with IN-YOUR-FACE, gimmicky horror. It left a bad taste in my mouth, and it wasn't fun or scary. This one was freaky and disturbing, but not in any real memorable ways. I'm gonna say this is forgettable stuff. Rating: 2 Stars


The third tape we watch is entitled Bonestorm. This short has a simple premise: Skaters Vs. The Dead. In this one, a small group of skaters are trying to make a video of them doing some sick tricks, but they keep getting kicked out of areas they are filming in. Fed up with it all, the group decides to head to a small ditch....IN FREAKING TIJUANA (Most random decision ever. Was this group in Mexico to start with? I'm not really sure, but I suppose it's possible.)! Once there, they find the ditch adorned with ritualistic markings, and it isn't long before the group attracts the attention of freaky cultists.  There's not much plot here, and it's not scary at all but the kids are likable, they seem real, and the action is good. I actually had fun and enjoyed myself here. I don't understand the ending, but this short was the only one in V/H/S Viral to come closest to giving me what I was looking for: a good time. It also helped that this short reminded me of the shorts found in the first V/H/S.
Rating: 2.5 STARS


V/H/S and V/H/S 2 didn't seem bothered by nudity at all, whereas V/H/S Viral is perfectly fine teasing audiences but freezes in terror at the thought of showing one single breast (Oh wait, I forgot, V/H/S Viral happily shows us a full frontal of a granny. Doesn't that make you feel a bit better? Yeah, me neither). While this isn't a major problem, it does show how the attitude of the V/H/S films have changed. The first two V/H/S films prided themselves on their edgy, dark, intense, grungy style of filmmaking. V/H/S and V/H/S 2 wanted to try to push the envelope, and they both succeeded pretty well. V/H/S Viral however, seems to want to play it safe. It almost feels like the filmmakers have no new ideas, are out of inspiration and are unsure what to do this time around. V/H/S Viral is completely disappointing. It has a pathetically low number of shorts (four in total if you count the overarching story), and none of them are scary, thrilling, or all that exciting (plus the effects that are CGI are weak). I honestly think that the filmmakers should have waited until they had more material to work with, or some real inspiration or ideas. As it is, V/H/S Viral is dull, tepid and uninteresting. It lacks the thrill, excitement, and scares of the first two films. V/H/S Viral leaves me with some serious questions as to the quality of any further V/H/S films and the future of the V/H/S franchise. This was a fun and exciting experiment while it lasted, but maybe it's time to put the video camera away and give it a rest?

1.5 STARS

FRIGHT FEST: HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS 24

Welcome back friends. This is Smalls,  your roving reporter coming to you from scare central: Halloween Horror Nights. I am so blessed to have been able to attend this year's event. Much hype has been made about this year's HHN. Some are going so far as to say it's the best year thus far....but is it? Let's not waste any time and delve right in starting with the scare zones.

SCARE ZONES

That's right, scare zones ARE BACK!! FINALLY! We only get four this year, but each are pretty cool. Let's see how they rank.

Face Off: In The Flesh

Wasn't all that impressed here. The coolest scare actor was a pirate that appears to be covered in barnacles and is rotting away. The theming is minimal, and while the main scare actors look impressive they are confined to a small stage. In other words: they don't do much scaring. Their "minions" are poorly themed, and aren't all that scary or impressive. It's not a must see.

Rating: 2/5

Rank: #4

Bayou of Blood

I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time in this zone, but I liked what I saw. The scare actors looked impressive and the theming was top notch. Here, we are transported to the swamps of New Orleans where a voodoo witch has her followers sacrificing guests so she can grow more powerful. It's a lengthy zone, and was home to a mini show where victims were sacrificed (the show was axed after guests complained it was too extreme). 

Rating: 3.5/5

Rank: #3

Maskerade Unstitched

There's a party going on, but there's something not quite right here. The zone had a large make-shift (and impressive chandelier hanging over it. The costumes were mucho impressive, and the scare actors seemed to be on their A game. The few times I traveled into this zone I walked out with a smile. They did a lot with only a little. Good job guys.

Rating: 3.5/5

Rank: #2

The Purge: Anarchy

This was the zone I was anticipating the most, and BOY did it not disappoint. Here, we enter the world of The Purge where one night a year all crime is made legal including murder. Guests become targets as the happy-go-lucky and intense purgers roam the streets in search of blood. The theming was fantastic, the zone was large, the costumes were on point (and super impressive), and the zone had A LOT going on including a few mini-shows (like an auction where guests are given a chance to bid on several "victim" scare actors they can unleash the beast on. My bid was accepted. Note: guests are not able to purge, this is all for show. It's still cool though), a truck that would drive around and pick up victim scare actors, a large blinking Purge sign, several Purge props (like crashed cars, etc) and apparently motorcycles (though these were absent on the night I attended). I spent most of the night in this zone getting chased numerous times by scare actors with chainsaws, taking pictures, interacting with scare actors, and just generally soaking in that rich Purge atmosphere. This is easily my personal favorite scare zone I have ever visited. 

Rating: 5/5

Rank: #1

HOUSES

Dracula Untold- Reign of Blood

The theming in this house was pretty nice, however it wasn't all that scary. I saw the film and wasn't crazy about it, so naturally I wasn't super psyched for the house. I didn't feel like I was sucked into the world of the film, and just want all that impressed in general. If you have to skip one house, make it this one. You won't be missing much.

Rating: 2/5

Rank: #8

Walking Dead: End of The Line

The largest house HHN has ever made. I've seen every Walking Dead house, and so I've kind of grown tired of it all. The facade was impressive (themed to the crumbling prison) and the detail inside was pretty great. There was a good deal of scares inside, and it did feel like I was traveling through the world of the fourth season.  In the house you get to explore the prison, the supermarket (can't remember the name), the collapsed tunnel, and finally Terminus. I was looking forward to getting to walk into Terminus and explore that setting but not much was done with it (amounting to maybe 2-4 scenes total). I wasn't as impressed as I  had hoped I'd be, but this is still a very nice house. 

Rating: 3.5/5

Rank: #6

Giggles and Gore

For such a short house, it was fairly impressive. I'm not scared much by clowns, but I still jumped a few times and the theming was fairly nice. The theme here is that we are traveling through the warehouse where evil clowns are made. It's a cool story idea, however I'm just not all that scared by clowns. The costumes inside were ok. It's a short house, but the jaunt through was enjoyable.

Rating: 3/5

Rank: #7

From Dusk Til Dawn

Based on the tv series, we get to explore The Titty Twister as the sexy stripper inside vamp out and go on a search for fresh blood. There were some good scares inside, and most of the costumes were pretty good. The facade is the exterior of The Titty Twister complete with a barker yelling about tits and sex, I really dug it. The final scene is also pretty great with the Gecko brothers killing vampires and the lead stripper vampire dancing on a stage, also pretty intense, cool and impressive. The middle of the house is where we get to explore the bowels of The Titty Twister with both stripper vampires and feral vampires attacking us and unlucky consumers. This house was pretty great, and I'd say it's well worth your time.

Rating: 4/5

Rank: #5

Dollhouse of The Damned

Here we get to enter a cursed house where those unfortunate enough to not escape are transformed into cursed dolls. There are a few laughs, but as we travel deeper inside things get more dark, intense and scary. There were a LOT of really great top notch scares here. Let's face it, dolls are creepy and while I wasn't expecting much out of this house I walked out super impressed with what they did with the fairly simple premise.  The costumes were top notch and each tended to  vary quite a bit from each other from  baby dolls in cribs, to a high chair doll that sucked its thumb when it wasn't lashing out at guests, to many many more. The final scene had two dolls attacking me from both side, naturally I freaked out. I'm not super scared by dolls, but I was scared quite a bit in this house and I really enjoyed the surprisingly great theming and the fact that the scare actors were on their A game. I'd actually say you should not miss this house.

Rating: 4/5

Rank: #4

Roanaoke Cannibal Colony

Based on one of history's really cool unsolved mysteries. Themed to the infamous colony that was left to fend for itself without food and goods for winter, we enter to find that the inhabitants have lost their minds and, desperate to survive, have resorted to cannibalism. The theming was very cool here, and it felt like I was traveling through the actual colony. The whole place smelled like fire, smoke, and roasting human meat. The actors inside are either tearing others apart or are lashing out at us, and as we travel deeper inside the pounding drums get louder and faster and the house gets more and more intense and crazed until puritans arrive to burn the whole unholy place to the ground. The costumes are simple but effective, but I really liked the backstory here. The house was fairly lengthy, and was easily one of my personal favorites of the night. I had a lot of fun inside, and would say DO NOT MISS IT.

Rating: 4.5/5

Rank: #3

Halloween

The theme here is we are traveling through scenes from the classic horror/suspense film. The facade is a beautiful recreation of the Meyers house, and we enter through the side. Once inside we find ourselves at the famous staircase where we then proceed to travel through the film from beginning to end. We get to see each death, and there are quite a few top notch scares including a room filled with numerous Michael Meyers some of which are props and some of which are real (you can bet I was cowering and screaming fuck this!) and a hallway where there appears to be a person dressed as Michael wearing a ghost costume but SURPRISE it's just a prop that Michael himself comes charging out of (I freaked out and ran for my life). This house wasn't quite American Werewolf in London from last year, but it was still a crap ton of super scary, intense fun and the detail inside was great (sone trick or treaters in the middle of the house are wearing Silver Shamrock masks from Halloween 3, such a cool touch). Michale came home, and we got the chance to travel there with him. I was a happy, happy camper.

Rating: 4.5/5

Rank: #2

AVP: Alien Vs. Predator

The backstory here is that we are worked for Weyland-Yutani sent to investigate a situation at one of their bases where research on those nasty Xenomorphs was being done. Naturally, things went south real quickly as Facehuggers latched onto faces, Aliens were born and Predators attacked the base to hunt the Aliens. Once inside we find ourselves trapped in the chaotic battle. Aliens are mainly out to attack us, but are also fending off Predators, Predators are there mainly to attack Aliens but aren't above killing off any human they run into, and the surviving humans are fending off Aliens while screaming things like MOVE MOVE MOVE, EAT IT, and GET SOME!!!! The house plays like an Alien house that just happens to have a few Predators inside, and it really feels like we have stepped into the world of Aliens. The detail inside is immersive and impressive, the Alien puppets were nice, and the Predator costumes were super impressive and richly detailed (Really loved them). I finally got to live the dream. The end scene wasn't great, but left quite an impression as we had to crouch down and boom it through a tunnel. I absolutely loved this house, an Alien house has been a passion project of the makers of HHN for quite some time now and this is the closest we are going to get. It's clear both the designers and scare actors were passionate about this house and the product is richly detailed, super scary, very intense, tons of fun, completely immersive, and just about perfect. I LOVED IT. DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT MISS THIS HOUSE!

Rating: 5/5

Rank: #1

Shows

Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure

These two most excellent dudes return to party once more at Universal's Halloween Horror Nights. The theme this year is that they have to go undercover as students pledging Zac Efron's frat where students are dying by the dozens. It's up to Bill and Ted to find out who is behind the deaths and stop them. This was easily the best of their shows I have ever seen. The opening number was absolutely fantastic, and easily the sexiest one I have seen (set to Paradise City by Guns N Roses, complete with girls dressed as cheerleaders and such that then stripped down to underwear and danced. The opening also included a mini-wet t-shirt contest. I was in absolute heaven). The show itself was pretty damned funny, taking constant jabs at Disney including Magic Bands ("seems like a waste of money to me" says Bill), Frozen, and Avatarland ("Opening in 2075, when no one gives a fuck"). They also make fun of the owner of the Clippers ("I'm just an old man"), Shia LeBouf, the main somali pirate from Captain Phillips, Justin Beiber, King Joeffrey, 22 jump Street, Neighbors, Orange Is The New Black, TMNT, April O'Neal (where Megan Fox plays with her breasts), and many many more. The closing dance sequence was pretty great as well. The whole show was high energy and tons of fun. Everything we would want from a Bill and Ted show, and maybe a bit more too. DEFINITELY DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW!

Rating: 5/5

So, there you have it, my review of Halloween Horror Nights 24. This event was definitely one of the better years I have attended. While I think the houses were more intense back in 2011, I think overall this could be considered the best year I've attended. It heralded the return of scare zones, copious amounts of fog both in houses and in the streets (you can bet I returned home smelling like fog and sweat, how I missed that smell), and the houses varied from meh to HOLY SHIT! I was quite impressed by this year, and if I could I would attend one more time. Let's hope I'm given the chance to travel to next year's event. Till next time, This is your roving reporter signing off from scare central. SCARE YA LATER!!!

Overal rating: 5/5

FRIGHT FEST REVIEW: SMALLS TAKES THE REMAKE OF CARRIE TO THE PROM

Carrie is the remake of the classic 1976 horror film. This time, our tale is set in the present day and updated a little bit. We follow young teen Carrie White (Chloe Grace Moretz), a painfully shy and socially awkward outsider who discovers she has telekinesis the day she has her first period. When you mix puberty, supernatural power, a drop of hope, and a whole lot of teen angst the result can't be good, as the whole school will find out when Carrie is asked to prom.

I've never counted myself as a fan of the original Carrie, so how exactly does this remake fare in my eyes?

The film is helmed by Kimberly Pierce (I believe I read that she's a feminist somewhere, not sure where), and she changes things up a bit. In this adaptation, the underlying subtext seems to be about not being ashamed of your body, and empowering yourself. I'd say this film definitely has some feminist messages in here, but they are handled pretty well and actually help to strengthen the material just a little bit.

Chloe Grace Moretz is pretty good as Carrie. In this adaptation, Carrie takes charge for a change (a pretty big shift from the original film). Carrie researches her new found power, and actively works at fine tuning it. Moretz has a natural beauty to her, which the film succeeds at covering up behind a facade of normalcy and awkward-ness. Moretz is (obviously) pretty good as Carrie, and her freak out at the prom is actually pretty well done (she seems in control of the carnage she wrecks, but at the same time it seems like something else has taken over momentarily....the darkest part of herself). I liked Moretz's Carrie, and while she is a sympathetic monster in the book, in this remake she is more-so portrayed as a normal teen female with a few issues. 

Julianne Moore is pretty good as Carrie's mom. Instead of being a complete nut, she is portrayed here as a person with a few psychological issues that prevent her from being a good mom. I will say that while Moore can be effectively disturbing here, the original's Piper Laurie did a better (and more memorable job) with the role.

Chris Hargensen and Billy Nolan's characters are portrayed by Portia Doubleday and Alex Russell respectively. They aren't in the film much, but their characters are given a new dynamic. Whereas in the original, Chris clearly wore the pants in the relationship in the remake both share about equal footing. I liked this since it made their relationship a bit more interesting. Luckily, Chris is still the under-handed conniving bitch we all love to hate but she is given some moments of weakness here that strengthen her character a bit. Billy is no longer a complete doof, he's actually pretty sinister and scary and is the one who orchestrates the prank at the prom (yes, it was Chris' idea but Billy is the one who decides to go through with it.)

Surprisingly, I felt that the strongest part of this film was Sue Snell and Tommy Ross, both of whom have significantly more beefed up characters and screen time. Sue (as portrayed by Gabriella Wilde), is one of the popular girls who picks on Carrie. However, after the shower incident something inside her snaps and she decides that she doesn't want to be this person anymore. Feeling guilty, she talks her totally awesome boyfriend Tommy (as portrayed by Ansel Elgort) into taking Carrie to the prom. A good deal of screen time is dedicated to exploring both Sue's and Tommy's characters, and I really dug this. For Sue, this is an attempt at a redemptive journey as she tries to make things right (willingly sacrificing her own chance at a magical night in order to do so, what a great gal). Another thing I really dug was that Tommy seemed way more sincere here. In the original, he seemed to be going along with the plan just for Sue, but in the remake he seems to be doing this because he genuinely likes Carrie. What's most interesting is that my previous experiences with these actors wasn't all that pleasant. Gabrielle Wilde was a blank, dumb slate in the just-plain-bad Endless Love, and Ansel Elgort was reduced to teen/tween dream boy material in the just-ok Fault In Our Stars. However, Gabriella Wilde seems to actually be acting here and whereas Elgort's chiming schtick felt false in Stars, it feels pretty real and genuine here. I guess it's time I give both these actors a second chance.

Judy Greer does an ok job as Ms. Desjardin,a gym teacher that is struggling with her conflicting emotions over Carrie and eventually becomes somewhat of a mentor to the poor girl. Barry Shabaka Henley was enjoyable as Principal Morton, the principal of the school who seems uncomfortable talking about Carrie's puberty issues and is enjoyable awkward when dealing with them. I honestly felt that Henley made more of an impression than Greer. I always enjoyed his scenes, and I found his character funny and likable. 

Now onto probably the film's only real weak point: the CGI. Almost every effects sequence involves heavy use of CGI, even when the effects could have been done practically instead. It doesn't help that the CGI is pretty bad here (it really pulled me out of the film). I also didn't like the scenes where Carrie was discovering her powers, I understand that it's all part of the message of the film, but the scenes felt kind of silly. Luckily, the prom scene is pretty well done (even if it does fall prey to that awful CGI). Moretz and Elgort completely anchor the scene, and I actually found myself FEELING in the parts before the prank is pulled. The carnage that ensues is pretty brutal, and I found the whole scene to be stronger than the one from the original (plus, Carrie does wreck some stuff outside of the school which is a clear nod to the carnage that ensues after prom in the novel).

I can't say that Carrie 2013 is a stronger film than the original. It does some things better than the original, but also slips and slides a bit too. I'll say that this and the original are of equal value (although I found that I enjoyed this version a bit more than the original). Carrie 2013 doesn't change much up from the original film, for the most part it stays the course (in fact, the modern day setting doesn't add all that much to the proceedings except a few cell phones, computers and hip modern songs). If you enjoyed the original, there's a good chance you'll enjoy this remake too. 

3 STARS

LET'S SOLVE A MYSTERY WITH GONE GIRL

In Gone Girl, Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) finds his life turned completely upside down when his wife Amy (Rosamund Pike) disappears, leaving behind signs of a struggle and evidence that seems to point towards murder . Naturally, the news and media almost immediately peg Nick as the culprit, poisoning his neighbors and even the world's view of him. Could a marriage on the rocks and harsh financial times drive a husband to murder, or is everything not as it seems?

Gone Girl is directed by David Fincher, and this is the kind of story and material that is right up his alley. Naturally, he doesn't disappoint. The whole film feels like a Fincher creation.  Aided by a pretty strong screenplay by Gillian Flynn (who also wrote the novel), it's no surprise that Fincher was able to craft another top notch film.

The cast here is just about perfect. Ben Affleck is a natural as Nick Dunne, he completely nails the smarmy charming guy everyone loves to hate. This is easily his best role in years. The chemistry he shares with Carrie Coon (who portrays his sister Margot "Go" Dunne) feels real. It's easy to buy the both of them as siblings, and Coon puts on a pretty top notch performance as well. I also really like the chemistry and dynamic between Affleck and Pike's characters. Tyler Perry is perfect as Tanner Bolt, the oily but charming lawyer brought in to defend Nick. This is without a doubt Perry's best role to date, and his work here proves that with the right director this guy can actually act.  Rosamund Pike is pretty great as Amy (some of her scenes were pretty impressive), doing pretty much everything she needed to in order to bring her character to proper life. Missi Pyle also makes a mark as Ellen Abbot, our Nancy Grace stand-in that is leading the charge against Nick. NPH is kind of wasted here, and Kim Dickens and Patrick Fugit as the detectives don't leave much of an impression (though it is clear that Kim Dickens is trying here, God bless her).

Gone Girl has a pretty dark, cynical heart and I love that about it. This is a film that openly laughs at the idea of marriage, and even questions the concept of it. I mean, how well can you really ever know your significant other (one of the key questions of this film)?  In a weird way, Gone Girl is an angry film: it's angry at the media and the media culture we live in (which it constantly comments on and critiques) and it's got some beef with marriage as well. While this is a dark film, it manages to have fun with it's twisty proceedings and is also quite funny a good deal of the time (lots of dark humor here).  It's inevitable that we're going to form our own opinions of who Nick and Amy are and what is going on, and part of the fun of this film is watching as the layers are ripped away until we are left with the truth (This is a film that will challenge your preconceived notions and make you feel like a fool for even assuming you know who these people are). The film is beautiful in a technical sense. Every shot is polished and clean, and the whole film has a  dreamy type vibe to it. The score by Trent Raznor and Atticus Ross is also exquisite and almost ever present, itself helping add to the dream-like feel of the film.

 I think it goes without saying that the novel is far better than the film. There's more detail in the novel, and I feel the twists and reveals hit harder there....that said, this is still a pretty damned great film version (that hews very closely to the novel). My only real complaint would be that they cut a lot of the first act of the novel out of the film, choosing to focus more on the second and third acts instead. They cut a good deal of the meat here, but the parts that remain are still more than satisfying enough.

Gone Girl is an expertly crafted film that boasts a strong cast (with the respective leads fitting their roles exceptionally well), a great director at the top of his game, a screenwriter who manages to adapt her source material pretty well, and a great editor and cinematographer (Kirk Baxter and Jeff Cronenweth respectively).  It's expertly paced, pretty dark, angry, and cynical, but also manages to have fun with it's proceedings while mixing a good deal of dark humor, wit, and commentary into the film (Yes, this film will make you think). The end product feels like a dreamy suburban nightmare, and it's completely refreshing and exciting.

5 STARS

THE CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT....THEY HUNGER

Do you feel that cold chill? Did you notice that the air has that special feeling now? Yes, your senses are correct: IT'S OCTOBER!!!! And you know what that means!!!!! Back by popular demand, I'm bringing back my FRIGHT FEST for yet another year! Now, I'm out of college and I have a job but that's not going to stop me from tearing into more beloved Halloween favorites. That's right, my thirst for only the best horror films has not decreased since I left college. LET THE FRIGHT FEST BEGIN!!!